Grape Soda and Magnets
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: A collection of over a hundred Krillin/18 prompts, ranging from AU to proposals to holidays to babysitting. V/B, G/CC featured.
1. 1 thru 25

Prompts

**Grape Soda and Magnets**

One Through 25

All pretty much separate storylines, although some have a common thread. Over a hundred written and planned, here are the first twenty-five so no one is overwhelmed with a two hundred fic.

Rated light R in some parts.

_It's not easy having yourself a good time  
Greasing up those bets and betters  
Watching out they don't four-letter  
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time  
Smells-like something I've forgotten  
Curled up died and now it's rotten_

_I'm not a gangster tonight  
Don't want to be a bad guy  
I'm just a loner baby  
And now you're gotten in my way_

_I can't decide  
Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

_It's a bitch convincing people to like you  
If I stop now call me a quitter  
If lies were cats you'd be a litter  
Pleasing everyone isn't like you  
Dancing jigs until I'm crippled  
Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled_

_I've got to hand it to you  
You've played by all the same rules  
It takes the truth to fool me  
And now you've made me angry_

_I can't decide  
Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

_Oh I could throw you in the lake  
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake  
I wont deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone  
Oh I could bury you alive  
But you might crawl out with a knife  
And kill me when I'm sleeping  
That's why_

_I can't decide  
Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

I Can't Decide, Scissor Sisters

_I never wanted to kill, I am not naturally evil_

_Such things I do to make myself more attracted to you, _

_Have I failed?_

The Last Of the International Playboys, The Smiths

* * *

**1. How to Impress a Woman **

Yamcha's voice was wise. "What you need to do is impress her." He pointed a finger straight at Krillin's face.

"How? I," Krillin looked at his hands. "I mean, I fought against Cell for her, saved her life, used a wish from a magical dragon to help her…"

The index finger dropped. "I have no idea."

Now the shorter man wanted to raise his own finger at the bandit, but it definitely would not be the same one that Yamcha used.

Juuhachigou was a woman who did not seem to be at all impressed by much. Anything. Crazed ideas of setting an apartment on fire, and carrying out a family while she watched occurred to him, saving a bus full of children, stopping a bank robbery, throwing himself into a puddle of mud so she could walk over his back to step onto clean pavement, lighting himself on fire came to him.

Although he was willing to bet that she might be somewhat taken aback by setting himself ablaze, the burns would probably make any date not at the hospital rather uncomfortable.

He saw himself doing all those things, and her impassive face, the rolling eyes when he looked to her for some reaction.

There was nothing he could do to impress her.

Anything he could do, she would find boring, or pathetic, or could do it much better than him. The only thing he had on her was all negatives: he was shorter, weaker, whinier…The very fact that he was trying to impress her would probably not look good to her.

If she found out, Juuhachigou would flip her hair away from her face and sneer. "Why; you know you don't have a chance with me shrimp. And nice haircut. Is that supposed to make me like you more?"

"I just _want you to like me at all_!" Then him crying at her feet, spilling his guts and telling her things she already knew. "My best friend died _because I didn't use that controller on you!_"

"I threw myself at Cell to try and give you a chance to escape, and then I tried to fight him after I thought he killed you!"

"I picked you up, even when you were covered in _slime _after he spat you out!"

"You were technically _vomit_, and you were_ still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on_!"

"I think I'm in love with you!"

"_Why did you kiss me, whyyyyyy_?"

"Can't we be friends, at least?"

He needed a good cry. Nearly as much as he needed a girlfriend.

But now, sitting here as another hour passed, on his porch as the sun set and Yamcha flew away, he understood that he truly did not have a chance at making her even smile. There would be no date, no chance at romance, not so much as a _smile_ from her, and vague dream of having a relationship with her, something long-term would never happen in a thousand years.

He would almost certainly never see her again.

**2. No one has to know**

There was little in his life, even when he included the giant monkeys and intersexed lizardmen and monster made of his and his friend's cells, that was more disorienting than one minute holding the woman he loved more than life itself, and then holding literally air. She was not only quick; her senses could pick up on a possible witness within seconds, and then she could shove herself into a clever, uncomfortable hiding spot. All while possibly gathering or zipping up her clothing. Somehow, it only added to her charm.

At best, he would fall forward and hit something and simply look clumsy.

At worst, he would just be standing or sitting there, arms around nothing, or worse, cupping around nothing, face in a ridiculous expression, and he would look deranged. Not even the destitute who walked around in West City, dressed in aluminum foil and spoke of the upcoming doomsday would have wanted to talk to him if they saw him at that moment. They would walk around him, mumbling to themselves about how bad the city was, and how they would be glad when the apocalypse came.

It was only compounded by the fact that whenever she disappeared, someone would walk into the room and find him that way.

"Jeez, Krillin," Yamcha looked at him, torn between disgust and sadness. "Stop practicing kissing with the pillow. I'll hook you up with that cute shopkeeper who was flirting with you, just stop that."

And then he would see a pair of amazing baby blue eyes peering at him from behind Yamcha's back, from the closet, hateful and assuring that as soon as his friend left, they were going to have a little talk.

"Alright, Yamcha, let's go right now. Come on, let's hurry up and _get out of here_!"

Or Bulma finding him in a loving embrace with a bush in the gardens. "You know," she toyed with her recently trimmed hair. "Maybe it's time you moved out of Roshi's house."

The look on Chi-Chi's face when she found him, instead of helping with the laundry, entangled in a sheet and still having Juuhachigou's name on his lips. "I think I can take it from here, Krillin." Carefully plucking the now stained sheet from his hands, and telling him that maybe, maybe it wasn't so great that he spent so much time with Gohan.

Master Roshi, seeing him stretched out on his bed, alone and his red face, hadn't said anything. But later, when Krillin opened the door to go down to dinner, he found a stack of dirty magazines outside his door.

Oolong now knocked on the walls or door before he entered a room, after having found him curled on the floor, holding his ears after Juuhachigou had hissed what she planned to do to him and that cute shopkeeper.

But, despite how loony his friends must have thought him, it was worth it to make sure Juuhachigou was comfortable in their relationship.

**3. Sweet tooth **

She had the most amazing blush on her face, the pink of the sky during a sunrise. "I can't cook. So I bought them."

He didn't have the chance to duck or run away as she shoved the chocolates into his face. So, instead, Krillin took the box with numb hands. The tide was coming in, and he jumped a little at the cold water hitting his feet. Juuhachigou however remained unmoved, perhaps because she was wearing boots and he was barefoot. Those boots were the last thing he saw as she flew away without another word.

"You know what this means, right Krillin?"

The short fighter rubbed a tear from beneath his eye. "Yes," if he could have sniffled, he would have. "It means she _likes _me."

"It _means_ you have to give her something back. Something expensive." The shape-shifting pig raised a pink brow. "Something sentimental. And sexy." And Krillin learned something else that was new, someone with a snout should never say the word 'sexy.'

The chocolate's wrapping was growing slippery in his sweaty palms. He looked at them, wondering how much they meant_ exactly_. Literally. In dollar and sentimental value. "…What are you saying?"

Oolong gave him a look. "You have to buy her lingerie, you know that right?"

**4. All's fair in love and war**

She looked up from her drink. Her hackles did not exactly raise, but were beginning to twitch. Juunanagou was looking at her, his mouth beginning to widen into a smile.

"What do you know, someone actually has a thing for shiny heads."

"He's growing his hair out," Juuhachigou growled, wishing he wasn't there. If he wasn't, well, she could do whatever the hell she wanted. Not that wanted to do anything.

…Well, alright, she did, but it was just because it was annoying to hear a bunch of stupid, empty-headed girls lose their head over some muscles. Pathetic. Krillin wasn't even as big his friend. He was slimmer as well as shorter, and much less ridiculously bulging than his other companions. They had no right to giggle over him.

Juunanagou was making another joke. It was remarkably easy to ignore him. Her twin was white noise to the sight of one of those ridiculous women with the most hideous makeup Juuhachigou had ever seen, grabbing one of Krillin's arms and squeezing. She giggled, and…despite what she might have thought, Juuhachigou did not see red. Instead, everything was vividly bright, clear, and her sensors told her that her heartbeat had lowered dramatically.

When she wandered over, a good-natured expression on her face, Krillin's hand spasmed around a squirt bottle of ketchup and a splat of it nearly hit his friend in the face.

They couldn't even stammer out the words "What are _you _doing here?"

Only those who knew what she was capable of would have been afraid. The other two girls looked perfectly content, while the men's faces went pale. Yamcha's swallow could be heard all the way to the next table over, and in it she could hear him being told about swinging one Saiyan into another. In Krillin's dark eyes, she saw Vegeta clutching a shattered arm, and shrieking.

She batted her eyelashes at the short man.

Neatly, she sat down next to Krillin and smiled. She rested an elbow on the table, then her head against her the palm of her hand. Her smile was sweet, and she knew that the light above hit her just the right way to emphasize her blonde hair. "Hi."

"Hi!" The other girls giggled back.

Juuhachigou motioned to the bartender to bring her whatever they were having; ignoring her brother's scandalized face. The expression that quickly began to turn confused, then scared, then terrified. When he fled, it was through the backdoor to completely avoid her. Juuhachigou was grateful he did not come over and literally drag her away.

Really, sure, she had beaten up his group of pathetic vigilantes and threatened several times to kill his best friend, but that didn't mean he had to be scared of her so much. When she ran the straw of her drink against her lower lip, teasing, she didn't want Krillin to flinch and scoot away from her. There really was no reason to squeak like that, and reach out for support from his equally terrified friend when she playfully squeezed one thigh and asked if he worked out.

She ran her hand firmly, confidently, up his leg and whispered sultrily just for him, "So, do you, work out?" His French fries went flying with that little move. Unfair, really.

Still, as the toyed with the umbrella of her drink, and plucked the cherry out to feed it to a sweating Krillin who swallowed, terrified, it was all worth it. For all her lost dignity, the lost expression on his face made her happy.

The girl hadn't touched him again. And look, from the help of the other thoughtful woman, the bartender was bringing over salt, limes, and tequila to do shots with. And she knew exactly whose neck she wanted to apply the salt to lick off.

**5. An invasion of privacy**

She was painfully aware that if she was found now, there would be no saving of face. She had to get in and out, and hope for the best. The door knob was sweaty in her grip. When she turned it, the sound echoed through the entire house. Thankfully, Krillin's singing in the shower went uninterrupted.

It wasn't her fault. When you did laundry in this house, as a woman, you did it quickly and hoped that you walked away with all your underwear. Juuhachigou had only pulled what she thought were only her clothes out of the dryer, and stomped away.

Only later, as she did her best to unfold the creases and do makeshift ironing with her hand, did she realize that this dark blue shirt was not hers.

Or this lime green t-shirt.

Or this pair of white boxer shorts.

The sight of which made her freeze, and stare up at her doorway, as though Krillin was standing there, asking if she'd seen some of his clothes. When he briefly passed by, carrying a towel and clean clothes, the blonde android tossed the garments hurriedly deep into the pile of the rest. Krillin didn't even give her a look. His whistling and pleasant mood made her feel like she was slipping right past the guards, smoking a cigar and baring a smile.

Her upper lip was sweaty.

_What is wrong with you?_

_You're acting like that damn pig downstairs._

Which immediately made her bound to her feet and peek her head into the hallway. Empty, and she raced to find the rest of his clothes. Her sad attempt at stopping creases was foiled utterly as she threw the entire pile to the floor. As the categorized everything, damning herself for not taking more time to sort through her clothes in the first place, damning the pig, Juuhachigou wiped at her forehead. She was fairly sure that she'd gotten everything.

Just the two shirts and that other item. Carefully, aware she was being a child, but unable to rid herself of the blush, she sandwiched the boxers between the t-shirts and scooped the clothes up. She listened to his off-pitch nasally drone as she finally turned the doorknob and crept to his room.

It was one of the few rooms she'd never seen. Of course, she had never stepped foot into Oolong's or the old man's, and hopefully never would. But she had never been curious about what was in there. Juuhachigou had never wondered about what was hanging on the walls, or places on the shelves and whether or not the bed was made.

The sheets were the exact shade of white she'd expected. The shelves were full of books. The walls the same yellow as the rest of the upstairs. The pictures simple, a few pieces of stuff she thought might have something to do with something Zen, a holdover from his days as a monk as a child. Then there was a poster of a fancy red car that didn't fit at all with her previous image of the room. The dresser was plain and as white as the walls, the top littered with framed photos of him and his friends relaxed and laughing or caught at an embarrassing moment.

Not a speck of dust to be found.

Krillin's happy grin caught her eye, and she looked at the photo of him as a young teenager, arm around his best friend's shoulder. Both of them were nearly the same size, and she wondered what exactly had gone wrong with Goku's pituitary gland.

Juuhachigou smiled back at the snapshot.

This wasn't so bad. Not intimidating at all. Just Krillin's room. The place where he hung his ridiculous hats, the room he slept in every night, _right there_, there in that small bed with its neatly tucked sheets, and did Kami only knew what he did here. He could do whatever in here, whatever popped into his round head. There was his pillow, and she looked at it for a long time.

She could see him lying down, like a boy tired from his play, slowly closing his eyes and the dark hair spreading out like ink across its flat surface. Just there, being there and taking up room in existence. Him sleeping, lips pulled slightly into a pink pout, fist held close to his face.

Her breathe came short and quick. She'd been here in this sad pink house, living here to punish Juunanagou for leaving her, completely abandoning her at the mall, and since the moment that she'd been consciously aware of a place labeled neatly 'Krillin's Room' existing, she'd…okay, sometimes, had thought of this place. In general really. 'I wonder if Krillin's in his room.' Nothing, she was sure. Her grin was guilty and her stomach twisted.

_What is wrong with you?_

The clothes. Juuhachigou remembered the buddle in her hands, and strolled over to the small neat dresser. Even its nails peaking out through the wood had a shine to them. She had a brief image of Krillin, on bended knee, with a rag, shining them up to a brassy sheen.

That absurd smile came back.

Everything was so neatly arranged inside, she was wary of putting anything in. He probably was well aware of how things went as only a neat freak could be. But if he asked, she could shrug and say she had no idea what he was talking about. Flick back her hair and roll her eyes. "Do you think I came into your room to, what, borrow your clothes?" A disdainful look at whatever he was currently wearing. He would stutter and blush and apologize, never knowing how she'd pulled the knobs so gently on his dresser to never make a sound.

Everything in here smelled like him, and his own unique odor of sweat and clean laundry and the bright blue bar of soap in the bathroom that every time she was in there, she would have to look at closely for a second. For what, she wasn't sure. But there was something in its electric shade that drew her eye. She herself stuck with shower gel, since using a bar of soap seemed to be asking for trouble in this house.

He indeed had everything arranged just so. The shirts went here, unless they were polo's, then they went there. It was easy to slide the two garments into a place in the back. Of course, then she was left holding a white pair of his undershorts with one hand while the other slid open the top drawer. Juuhachigou had time exactly to wonder why his underwear was arranged into color, when the door opened, revealing a still damp Krillin.

He looked at her for a long time, not missing the boxer in her hand anymore than he could have overlooked someone missing a head. She felt as frozen as when Cell had been coming after her. Krillin sighed. "You've been spending too much time with Oolong."

**6. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should.**

Whenever a squirrel was capable of causing you to freak out, there was a problem. He couldn't smile, even as his mind tried to distract himself by playing a theme to a spy movie.

They hadn't seen him.

In his sweaty, trembling hands, he held the controller. It was grey, and so small, so nothing for what it could do. His shoulders were hunched, held down by something even heavier than the turtle shell he'd worn as a boy.

Not quite in the center, its button was the shade of old blood.

He could see her, taking in everything about her, from the part in her hair to the color of her black, schoolgirl shoes, and even as he coldly tried to plan his next move, how he would blast her after shutting her down, and then run from the larger, hurt android, even as other images swirled and over and over again she bent down with a cruelly sweet expression on her pale face. Her teasing words.

He wished that she hadn't been here, that someone else was here instead of him, that someone had seen him, that he knew what to do, that…

But he did know what he had to do. There was really only one choice.

"_Good luck_."

**7. Terms & conditions**

From his friends, he had learned a lot. Aside from practical stuff like learning how to cook from Lunch, how to fix the TV from Master Roshi as well as how to throw a punch, how to dodge from Bulma, how to tune out someone from Chi-Chi, they had also taught him about relationships.

They had rules.

Just as Goku would never insult Chi-Chi's cooking, even when she made that blood pudding that one time. And in turn, she would…well, she never really completely forbid him from fighting in an emergency.

Even the most dysfunctional couple had guidelines, although they seemed to bend and twist depending on the day and what was being served for dinner. But on pot roast Tuesdays, Vegeta would no more insult Bulma's haircut than she would say something about his own hairstyle. Only after the plates were cleaned of food could they could begin screaming at each other and throwing pitchers of juice.

With Juuhachigou, you could never truly tell. Once he'd asked why she liked stripes so much, had she spent some time in prison or at least juvenile hall during her wild past, and she punched him in the arm hard enough to sprain it. Then he might say something about her brother being a weirdo in that blue coat, and she would laugh and agree. But if he said something about Juunanagou's socks, it was hell at the Kame house.

Eventually, when she came down to breakfast, Krillin sat at the table waiting for her. Instead of having a plate of toast or eggs and always, a mug of coffee to greet her, a pen was shoved into her face.

"Sign here."

"For what?"

"To agree that on Wednesdays, I get to say whatever I want about your brother."

For a second, she pulled a confused face, but the bullshit was quickly thrown out the window when she realized all of what she wanted. "Fine. And on Monday through Thursdays I get to insult Master Roshi all I want."

"Fair enough."

"And on the weekends—"

"You're free to hurt the perverts for whatever discretions they do to you."

"Thank you." They bowed to each other across the table.

"We see my friends on Saturday."

"Damnit." Then she perked up. "But this means we can visit my brother on Sunday, right?"

"Damnit." Krillin nodded his head slowly and wrote his initials on one form.

"Mondays…"

Gradually, the rest of the household gathered to watch.

"I'm surprised." Oolong looked over the list. "There's no mention of sex. Or any real sexual acts. Unless you count on the laundry being one. Which I do, by the way."

Juuhachigou leaned forward and took the pen from his smaller hand. "Remind me to always make sure to do my own laundry."

"Too bad it's Friday, huh?"

She smiled. "Just one more day."

"But, about the sex, you guys…"

Krillin predictably turned red. But the blonde cyborg shrugged. "I don't think we need any agreement about stuff like that. We're both pretty opened minded about our schedule."

**8. Rearrange**

The first thing that told the rest of the household that Juuhachigou was there to stay, aside from the blissful expression on Krillin's face, was the new table that arrived one day. No one saw as it was brought in, or assembled; only that they all barked their shins on the new piece of furniture.

They did not eat there the morning it arrived.

Instead they sat at their old, faithful, familiar table loyally, and gave suspicious stares to the plain wooden table, and wondered if perhaps, it had been there all along, and they had just missed it until now.

It was only after Juuhachigou came downstairs with a sweep of pale yellow and blue jeans, Krillin stumbling after her with a drowsy smile, and sat at the new table did the others understand. Her fingers trailed along the wood grain fondly, then she glared at the other people who did live there as well, and perhaps technically owned the right to the house.

"You will not ruin this."

She didn't need to say another word. The blocky, ugly table told them that she was there to stay. And since it was hers, guaranteed that they would always use a coaster if they sat there.

**9. I have style: you don't.**

He had the nerve to argue. "Juuhachigou, I don't know…"

"You really think you know more about what you should wear than me?"

Krillin paused at the doorway of the dressing room. "Alright, you have a point."

"But really, honey, a sweater vest?"

**10. Pitch Black**

"I thought," Krillin said slowly, "that you could see in the dark?"

"Nope."

"Really?"

"My eyes don't work like that. Just because you're alarm clock glows—"

"Fine. I guess we'll just sit here in the dark, and wait until someone fixes this."

"Well, I don't know how. Why do you always assume I can fix _everything_?"

"Because…you're so good at everything?"

"It's because of the cyborg thing, isn't it?"

"No."

"…well, yeah. But, really, why wouldn't you know how to fix the power, but know that your brother can have his memory erased by a day when you rub a magnet against the side of his head."

"Speaking of which…"

"_OW_! Not the head! My hair, Juu, my _hair_!

"…you could see this entire time, couldn't you?"

**11. First Kiss**

It was not technically their first kiss. That had happened under very different circumstances.

The last time, they'd been standing on even ground. It had only lasted a second, and she'd kissed him solely on the cheek.

Now though, he was sitting on the counter in the kitchen, trying to put the groceries away when she'd accosted him. Which, while hurting her back less, also made the position odd since if she moved up she would hit her head on the shelves stacked above, but Krillin was now the taller one, and they could just barely meet somewhere in the middle.

Another thing was that someone could come in any second now and see them, and now she was capable of being embarrassed, since it wasn't like she could just kill them for walking in on them. And for another difference, she was wearing better clothes. And she was also not mocking him. This was purely serious, even as she tore the box of cereal from his hands before silencing his alarmed cry.

Neither knew where to put their hands which definitely hadn't been a concern the first time. Although, perhaps Krillin had wondered if she would punch him in the chest. They settled for putting them on each others' shoulders and trying not to be conscious of the height of his hands.

There was no awkward worry if she would murder him, and whether or not he would faint and crack his head on the pavement. Here, the soft wooden floorboards would catch him.

No, this wasn't exactly their first kiss. This was better.

**12. Imaginary Conversation**

Mentally, verbally, physically, imaginarily, she swung a first at Krillin. He bounced right back like one of those ridiculous stress relief clown toys. They wore a similar smile.

"I do not!"

A left jab. "You don't even have a nose."

"You like my face, regardless. You think _I'm cute_."

A right fist to the stomach. "You're bald!"

"Don't you like how the light reflects off my head?"

"You're _weak_! Pathetic."

"Then you get to be the strong one."

"You look like a sad little puppy!"

His head was cocked in a way that even she, in the darkest part of her mind, could not deny was adorable. "Is that an argument for or against?"

"I do not like you."

"Then why do you keep thinking about me."

**13. Stalking**

This was not inappropriate. It only counted as stalking when someone found out about it, and used that word. It was whatever it was until someone used a fancy title like, '_harassment_', or '_stalking_' or '_boundary issues'_ or _'I'm calling my friends to scare you off before you hurt me._' Until then, Juuhachigou was free to swim in the gray zone all she wanted.

She was simply _biding her time_. It wasn't as though she was going to kill him. The blonde woman was just waiting, hiding behind this brick wall or this box of oranges or behind this cutout of this jackass man who kept sprouting phrases like "I beat Cell!" "Buy my video game! Buy my video game!" Eventually, she would find the right words and go over to him. They would come to her, the perfect phrases, and she would tell them to her, and he would smile.

And understand.

Until then, she would put on this baseball cap, these oversized glasses, and hope that Krillin didn't turn around as she followed him through the stores, streets, and his home.

**14. My fancy way of saying hello**

His friend, Yamcha, despite his questionable taste in clothes and girls, knew about all the clubs in the newly named Satan City. The scarred taller man had been or heard about all of them from a date or friend of a friend, and was always good at slipping the bouncer a fifty and making sure he and his short buddy got in. At first, Krillin had been reluctant, always shy around crowds; he wasn't so sure about this 'scene.' Then, after a few beers that Yamcha fostered onto him, he decided it wasn't so bad after all.

After a few more trips and widening his taste in alcohol to things much stronger than beer, Krillin could even bring himself to look up from his shoes and at the faces of the people there. There were lots of girls there, he saw with new eyes.

He found himself pathetically going after blonde girls, ones who never exactly could fit the bill, hoping with everyone that they, if not Juuhachigou herself, they could help fill that void. Thankfully, or not, the ones that showed interest he could never bring himself to go further than drink, dancing, and occasionally clumsily making out with.

It was all okay. He could shut off the voices in his head and the pictures and movies that played endlessly when he was in these dark places with the music like a heartbeat, until one night Yamcha disappeared with a girl and without him, he kind of...overdid it a little.

Krillin would have thought that the more you drank, the less it affected you over time. But then, there he was lying in bed, no memory of last night and aware that in books, they would have called this 'blackout drunk.' And that maybe, maybe, he 'had a problem' and was 'depressed.'

Krillin wasn't so sure about all that. In theory, yes. But right now, he was aware that he had a hangover and that was enough to swallow everything else, including the rest of his life. A relief.

What he needed now was not someone to talk to, but someone to hand him the Advil, and thank Kami, _Dende_, for that.

Someone pulled the sheets up and away from his side of the bed.

It is an amazing concept that sweeps the headache right out, this idea that he had a _side_ to his bed, a _half, _an_ assigned, designated place_, as opposed to the entire thing.

Well. Apparently he'd talked someone into coming home with him. They must have had more to drink than him.

When his jaw closed, it did so with a click sound. He stared up at the low ceiling, now cold in just his underwear, afraid of what would happen if his gaze shifted to the right. Who would have agreed to come home with him? He mostly paid attention to blondes, the more frigid and distant the better. There was no chance to get close to them for anything other than a dance and a kiss.

No matter how he tried to shake his mind and have a clear picture of what happened last night, it just wasn't coming. He had been at a bar obviously, sitting at a barstool and wondering something about the bartender, why he wore his shirt so tight, wasn't it harder to move like that, and then it was blackness.

He moved his gaze to the right.

She was wearing a pair of black female briefs that were much too small and revealed just short of everything. Her leg was drawn up, as though she was stretching, and one arm was pulled up to her chest like a shy child, hiding some of her bare chest. The small hand balled into a fist, and he remembered with clarity of how she drove it into Vegeta's hapless body. In the thickening morning light, her skin was cream. The pale hair that drove him insane was gold, and so luckily, the blue eyes that drove him even madder were closed.

It was nearly noon, Krillin realized, and was so grateful that he was the only one to wake up before two in the afternoon around here he nearly swooned.

At least no one would come in here and find them.

An insane thought occurred to him, so crazed and desperate that it would work. It had to, because there was no other option. This would succeed, because otherwise he would die a terrible, bloody death when those exquisite blue eyes with the startlingly dark eyelashes snapped open. Or worse: she would not murder him, and he would have to live with whatever happened last night. Such a fate he couldn't even properly imagine.

So, he got up, casually. Crawled from his place in the bed to the ground, careful not to touch her, fear giving grace to his movements. No need to hurry. Running and flailing would only awake the dragon. He had to creep past her inch by inch to get to the pile of gold that consisted of the clothes he'd worn last night. They, wrinkled and he was certain they smelled of booze and cigarettes and all, were amazing against his cold goose pimpled skinned chest. He clutched them, and felt like weeping.

He would flee into the noon light, and never return. Krillin did not know where he would go, perhaps to Gohan's to hide under his bed, but he knew he could never come back to this pink house. _She_ knew this place far too well.

Just as he'd pull his pants on, gorgeous lovely pants that he would never remove again, he heard a voice. It was groggy and not completely unhappy. "Where are you going?"

Juuhachigou was resting her chin on the palm of her hand and looking at him. Her eyes were half-lidded and her hair was mussed and the pose was too enchanting for him to pull on his shirt. Obviously, she hadn't been drunk last night. "Me?"

"Yes, you. Where are you going?"

There is no real answer, so he doesn't say anything. Juuhachigou slowly rested her head back onto the pillow, still gazing at him expectantly.

He would never fit under Gohan's bed, even if he managed to make it there. So Krillin just lowered his pants and crept back into the bed. It was warmer with her in it.

Then she was leaning against his shoulder, falling back asleep like a large pale cat, and so didn't hear Krillin's whisper of "Good morning."

And, "What happened last night?"

And, "Where did you go this whole time?"

And, "Did we really have sex?"

**15. Unintentional Sexual Harassment**

Although he'd been on the island since he'd been a teenager, Krillin believe he had picked up few of his Master's bad habits. You would never discover a pile of dirty magazines lying about in his room, or any underwear, or ridiculous wigs. He did not spend his days and nights before a dirty movie or show, and thought that, considering, he was pretty well adjusted. The worst you could say was that he knew all the names of the types of magazines they hid behind the counters at the gas stations.

That was why, when he reached out to grab her cup and take it into the kitchen to put in the sink, he was just as amazed as her when his hand overreached itself.

If only he'd knocked the cup to the ground to shatter.

But no, the mug was fine. And his hand was resting, cupping gently her breast. It was the left one. More amazingly, his entire arm was numb, from the base of his shoulder to his fingers. There was a certain humor and unfairness in the fact that he was touching her so intimately that he couldn't even feel it.

The arm was preparing itself, Krillin realized, for when she ripped it out of the socket.

They looked at each other. Her face was frozen into a look of shock and disbelief. She didn't say anything, but gradually he managed out, "I swear, I never meant to do this."

Then Piccolo chose that exact amazing moment to walk through the screen door, literally bursting from it like an alien through an ironically named man's chest, screaming that Chi-Chi was having a baby and _Krillin had to help him now_. Through his panic, he could still see exactly where the ex-monk's hand was on the woman he had once tried to kill, and whose brother he'd fought with twice. Somehow, despite his anxiety and disgust at finding them like that, Krillin and Juuhachigou couldn't move.

"I'm not," the Namek growled. "Going to help you birth your offspring as well.

"You're on your own with that."

**16. You are answerable for your fantasies**

Juuhachigou had not known that she could get sick. She should have, after living in that half-finished house that Juunanagou swore he would one day put a roof on. Although he never got around to it, even when it rained and the temperature dropped to freezing. "I'll get to it later," he assured her, as she shoved aside a pile of snow and they both jumped when a deer stuck its head through a hall in the wall.

Sometimes, birds would make nests in their shelves and cupboards, and she would miss Juurokugou. Bears lumbered past her room on a daily basis, and it was not unlikely to find one of them in the kitchen eating their food, getting ready for their hibernation.

The blonde woman shivered, and rolled over. _Bastard._

But she would get better. She was sure of it. For one thing, having Krillin at the beck of her call guaranteed that she was free to simply lay there in a warm, comfy bed and sleep. Soup and tissues were always on hand, and she didn't mind when he took her temperature with a thermometer and did so every hour. Although, Juuhachigou would have preferred if the short fighter had continue to do what he'd done when she'd stumbled to his home in the rainy night, half blind, when he'd pressed a small, firm calloused hand onto her forehead to check how hot she was. It was less intrusive.

She even had a bell.

But she was fine right now, and simply content to lie in his bed and not think thoughts like 'why did you come here for help' and 'welp, _you're in his bed_. What are you _thinking_? You pretty much told him this was the last place you would ever be,' and 'thank Kami he doesn't have any porn in here and that is a good thing, that really is, no matter how curious you are as to what he reads.'

In the clean sheets and soft blankets, Juuhachigou dozed. He was probably a really vanilla guy anyway.

Her dreams were scattered, and somehow drifted in an area they normally were never in. It was falling asleep wondering about porn that did it, she bet, half aware near the end that it was simply a dream. The porn, and the fever. So, ultimately, her brother and Krillin were to blame.

She was innocent.

In reality, anyway. In her dream, however, she hadn't been such a good girl. And she had to be punished for that. It was a matter of principle for Krillin, and he insisted on doling out the punishment himself. Only he insisted on doing it slowly, to draw out the torture, and so she was forced to take charge. If he wanted to make sure that she would never do it again, she would make sure he accomplished this task successfully. Principles, after all, were important.

There was a creak of floorboards that awoke her, sweaty and disoriented. What made it truly terrible was, she gradually recognized the sounds as not being ones of someone entering the room, but of someone in it simply moving. Her throat felt a little sore, and reminded her where exactly she was and why she was there.

When her eyes snapped over, she felt a dreadful sense of déjà vu. There was even the same man standing over her, although this time instead of a kind smile, his expression was one torn between embarrassment and oddly, _horror_. His mouth was hanging over, and there was a flush in his pale, normally good-natured face. The scarred hands clenched, then unclenched. Finally, he raised a hand to cover his mouth and just _look_ at her with huge eyes. That was strange.

What's more, the perverts, the old man and pig, had the _same expression_. The turtle, thankfully, had the familiar dopey expression on his face.

A dawning sense of her own horror was descending on her. She…she hadn't said anything, had she? No, surely not. It had been a simple, stupid, embarrassing dream to be shared with only herself. That dream had not been the sort of thing you wrote down in a diary, let alone said aloud to the man who had been participating in it.

She'd never been more disappointed that a turtle could speak. "What did Miss Juuhachigou mean when she told Krillin to put it in her because she was so bad? Put what? Why was she yelling at you Krillin? I could hear her miles out to sea."

**17. Guest Room**

Krillin carefully dusted a piece of lint from his pillow, straightened the white sheet around it, then held it to his face. His scream lasted ten seconds, and the pillow did a good job of muffling it.

He could nearly hear her, when he fell out of the bed and had one ear pressed to the floorboards. That's where she was, down there, in his house, _this house_, and was just reading a book. Just turning the pages of a book he'd read before, sitting there, reading a book he'd touched, on a couch he'd sat on, just existing. _There._

She was not, he assured himself, _there_ to see him. It was just, she'd gotten sick of her brother, of the fighting at Bulma's (and, mustn't forget, _Vegeta's_) house, and found Kami's place too boring-she wasn't a big fan of flowers and meditating. After living alone for awhile, and for some reason, getting sick of that (he suspected that she had been lonely), she ended up at his front door.

Thankfully, since it had been eight in the morning, he had been the only one awake. If anyone else, exempting the ancient turtle, had answered the door, Juuhachigou might have leveled the place. Of course, the moment hadn't exactly been the romantic, endearing situation he'd dreamt of. There were no flowers or nice clothes involved, but it was close enough to what he wanted. She needed a place to stay, and he could provide that for her.

Her face was wary as though he might grab her or throw himself to her feet.

"Is it alright if I stay here for awhile?" Her face: blank, uncaring.

The stupidest thing came out. "Well, you'll have to ask Master Roshi, since it's his house."

You could already see her regret this trip out here. "And where is he?"

"Sleeping." Under a pile of dirty magazines and ramen rappers was when he decided to not mention. "But I'm sure it'll be fine." Lightly, he opened the screen door and showed her in.

"It's smaller than I thought." Juuhachigou's blue eyes didn't miss a thing, and Krillin dearly wished the porno tapes weren't so obviously stacked in the huge pile before the TV. Or if they were, maybe not so neatly. Like it was a point of interest, of bragging, and you had to keep it nice and organized. But then, what was the point? She would soon learn about his housemates as soon as one of them groped her. And there was no if's about that; one of them always would.

She didn't run in the opposite direction and so he pointed out directions to parts of the house that she was already aware of. He told her exactly where the guest bedroom was, and after she waved off him showing it to her, she sat on the couch and looked around. Krillin nearly chewed him own lip off watching her.

Just sitting there and looking curiously around the house, purposely avoiding looking at the direction of videos. He offered her a glass of water, breakfast, tea,_ anything_, and his face he knew told her he was dead serious about that. If she wanted his arm, he would glad go upstairs to get his belt for a tourniquet and ask her politely if she thought they should run out to get a saw or if this butcher knife in the kitchen was sharp enough. She already had his heart, his soul, what was a limb or two?

But the blonde woman dismissed his inquiries and then, bored, reached for the book on the table. "Are you reading this?"

He had time to nod before she flipped it open and started to read it as well. His imagination provided a picture of her sitting on his lap, the two of them reading the same book, gently chiding the other to hurry up so they could change the page. Then he had to excuse himself to run upstairs and have a panic attack in his bedroom and bash his head on the walls to extract any thought of getting so close to her.

She was here, for an indefinite period of time, and things had never looked better. Krillin fell back asleep, wearing an idiotic grin, and was awakened hours later by Master Roshi's scream and Juuhachigou's voice asking what the hell he was doing and where did he get the idea that he could just touch her like that?

**18. Everyone needs a hobby**

Her brother had a gun collected that could rival another blonde that had lived on Kami Island, and Krillin seemed to remembe that as he watched the taller man apply another dab of oil and lovingly shine his shotgun. The message was clear:

Do not ever touch his guns.

Krillin made sure not to, although they were stack precariously close to him. Juunanagou stared at him sourly. "My sister is in her bedroom, why don't you go in there?"

"_Really?_" Of course, she was the reason he was here, but Krillin had been determined to wait until she came out of her bedroom. Which could take hours. It wasn't that she was making sure she wore the right outfit, but just another way of testing his resolve, her brother could tell. Besides, it was worth it when she came out and they could leave. Then Juunanagou would have the place to himself, finally.

"Yes, just make sure you never touch my Remington."

"Of course not."

"_Never_." His cold eyes were narrowed suspiciously, as Krillin stood up and walked a wide birth around his guns.

"I won't," the ex-monk swore, holding a hand up to his heart. Then he scurried with the weirdest, happiest grin into Juuhachigou's room.

Juunanagou continued wiping down the gun, suddenly regretting sticking it into a hollow in a giant oak tree, and pulled the trigger. Sure, it had been cool, especially the way the squirrels jumped out of the branches at the same time the birds did, but there was sap and bark all over it. Was that a _scratch_?

"Hey, Juunana?" His sister poked her head out of the door, annoyingly.

He didn't look up. Was that _rust_? "What?"

"Do you have that oil, for that leather case?"

"Yeah, fine," the darker twin tossed the bottle to the other.

"Thanks." Juuhachigou turned back into the room, and he could hear her say, "Now, where _were_ we…" before Krillin yelped and the door slammed shut.

Juunanagou rolled his eyes, and wondered if those two were ever going to get a life.

Now, where was that revolver? Goddamnit, if that midget had taken it, there would be hell to pay.

**19. Not Human**

There were little things that set her apart. It wasn't so much that she could program the TV, but the fact that the reception came in better when she stood nearby it and leaned to the right. That she was paranoid about her hair not because she was fond of her hairstyle, but because her hair did not continue to grow. Going to certain parts of Capsule Corp and her complaints because she always set the metal detector off, and she was not talking about her belt buckle. She could pick up recipes and spend an entire night preparing a feast for the holidays easily since she didn't need to sleep very often and could read the cooking books in the dark.

Which was distressing when you wandered downstairs to get a cup of water or to take another glance at that new magazine, and found her there, reading or just sitting there, looking at you. Watching your every movement in her silent, judgmental, lizard like way.

Once, Oolong had come down the stairs to find her smoking. He'd been down there to go through her laundry and to find a drill to discover if she and Krillin were actually a couple, and he ended up with only a singed tail. "If I never tell Krillin about her smoking," the shape shifting pig had confided to the owner of the pink house, "She said she won't kill me over trying to drill in the wall." Then he shivered and they both agreed that it was a fine bargain.

Once Master Roshi stumbled down into the kitchen one night, hoping to snatch the last grape Popsicle from the freezer only to find her eating it. "I won't tell Krillin."

"Good." Her lips were stained purple and would have been fetching had there not been such a glare on that face.

"Just so long as you avoid the television's antennas when I'm watching my night programs."

"Fine." Then she murmured in the darkened kitchen. "If he asks, tell him the pig ate it."

Her face would remain unlined even when Krillin would eventually develop wrinkles and grey in his hair. Her brother was a psychopath who came by only to spar with her and set the small house on fire when they came too close, or he was there to mock her boyfriend. Her blue eyes were often emotionless, reptilian in their apathy and movements, and she could tell them the temperature better than the thermometer nailed into the wall outside. Her slim form had withstood the beatings of the strongest people on this planet, and indeed, had beaten Vegeta to a pulp. Her pretty hands remained uncalloused, even as she helped Krillin repair the burned roof.

No matter how cute she was, she wasn't human.

If they went by their own senses, she was not even technically alive.

Of course, the rest of the household found a way to overlook that. For Krillin's sake. And for when they lifted that first spoonful of stuffing to their mouths on the holidays.

**20. Everything dies**

"Juuhachigou." Carefully, he lifted the radar from her grasp.

"You can't."

"Yes I can. That's the entire point of why I'm here."

"This isn't what the dragonballs were meant for."

"Then what," her eyes tore him apart. "Are they good for?"

"So, what are you going to do?" Krillin kept his voice steady. "Wish that I'm…what, twenty every ten years?"

"No. Around twenty-five. You were way too short at age twenty. And then I would just wish you were immortal."

He pulled in a breath, feeling the radar beginning to grow slippery in his damp hand. "Do you have any idea what that would mean?"

"Yes. I_ have_ considered this."

But he doubted this was more than anything than her reacting out of pain.

"Since you couldn't wish me human, I probably can't wish that you were a cyborg. Not that I necessarily wanted that, exactly. But if I couldn't wish for you to be young forever, it was a backup."

"'A backup'," he repeated, softly. "Did it ever occur to you what I might want? That maybe I don't want to be the same age for the rest of my life?"

"I won't have you leave me." Her voice rose. "You're going to leave me, on that island, with the old pervert." He had never thought of it that way. Always, it had been him left alone with Master Roshi for the rest of his life. But now, he was married and to a woman that didn't seem to outwardly age.

"It was _one grey hair,_ Juuhachigou! It might not have even been mine. It might have been Master Roshi's, or," Krillin touched the back of her head, running the tips of his fingers through her hair. Instead of swatting him as she normally did when he was affectionate when she didn't want him to be so, which was nearly every time, she leaned into him. "Some of your hairs are pretty light. It could have been one of those."

"It wasn't."

"I won't leave you, even if I die."

She grasped his hand in her, the voice low and sure. "I could make this better, if you would just-"

"No, Juu, not like this."

**21. Scent**

He could never smell a damn thing. Not a one, not really. Which, while helpful when Oolong or Master Roshi cooked, also made it difficult when he'd put something in the toaster and forget about it.

He could_ imagine_ smells though. Usually by comparing them to taste, sound, and his own dim sense of scent. The three were intertwined, and when he thought of people he knew, Krillin associated them subconsciously with those sensations.

Bulma he imagined smelled like the water from a tap, metallic and chemically.

Goku, the way clothes out of the dry smelled, especially if you threw in barbeque sauce onto some sheets.

Vegeta, that time he'd stuck his tongue against the TV antenna and been sparked.

Master Roshi, the feeling and sound of a book being opened.

Yamcha, sand in his shoes and mouth.

Juuhachigou…he still wasn't sure about. When he was with her, or simply thinking about her, he was reminded of learning to fly for the first time. That lovely sensation of weightlessness, and the fear that any second he could crash and die a horrible death with just long enough to think about how painful this was going to be.

**22. Cause and Effect**

What was his name again?

It clung to the back of her mind, and eventually, unable to remember it off the top of her head, her files flipped open. Hundred of images flashed through her mind, ones of him barring every expression he had. His particular fighting style and moves were listed and waved away. Videos of him fighting were catalogued although not watched. One photo of him in particular stuck in her mind, of him carrying packages from a store, and blushing when his date turned around and smiled at him.

She would know him anywhere now, no matter what disguise he might wear. Every angle of his face was analyzed and she could spot him in a crowd of any size. At the least, she thought, smirking and hardly listening to him and her brother argue over whether or not life was a game and who were the pieces after all, his size made him easy to pick out.

**Weakness:** Thousands of things on that list flashed through her eyes, but a one thing caught her attention. **'Women he finds attractive.'** Adorable and pathetic. Just like the rest of him. To be fair though, he hadn't run away. She had to give him some respect for having the courage to yell and challenge them, while his friends bled into the dirt behind them.

Now he was beginning, and she was getting bored of standing here. Plus the breeze through her torn tights was distracting. Juurokugou and Juunanagou summed up their positions on whether or not to kill Goku and Krillin's shocked wide-eyed face over being outvoted made her smile. You nearly could feel sorry for him.

'**Women he finds attractive.'**

There was always something to be said for psychological war against the enemy.

His whimpered as she approached were like some scared puppy. You almost wanted to pat his head, and ruffle his…Too bad about the hair situation. The short guy twisted to the side a tiny bit, but otherwise did nothing to prevent her from coming right up to him. She leaned down and-

Up close, the cyborg could see the sweat on his face, the wide helpless mouth and huge panicked eyes that were communicating rather than fight or flee to just stand there like a rabbit before a hunter, the noselessness of it all. His cheek was smooth and vulnerable against her lips.

"Good luck."

Juuhachigou had a hundred pictures of him ingrained into her programming. Every expression that he was capable of. Although, this one on his face now was new somehow.

He was too shocked to be afraid, and that was a shame.

Juuhachigou walked away, and didn't give it a single thought to it again until he popped up from behind a rock armed with a remote controller that could shut her down and the most serious expression on his round, noseless face.

**23. Color**

Juuhachigou had the most interesting eyes.

When he'd met her, they'd been a pale, cruel blue. And the time he saw her again, and again, they were the same color as the light color of the sky at dawn.

But then, when they finally met again, they were something darker, cerulean maybe?

And now, as she finally snapped and began yelling at him, they were the same color of the sky that he had looked up at, holding her unconscious body while below them the fight for the entire universe raged below. Just like then, he could barely take his eyes off her, even when she finally threw a punch at him and told the short bruised fighter to stop staring at her.

**24. Games**

She would swear, to the day she died, on her _deathbed_, that she didn't understand how this happened. There was no booze involved, no dares besides a little teasing from Krillin's end, no one holding a ki blast to her head, or threatening to play a CD of Krillin's favorite songs, as preformed by the short fighter himself. He'd simply pulled out the box and given her a sad look. "It'll distract us from not being able to spar in this storm."

And yet, with no reason or rhyme, she was here, on her hands and knees, trying to flick the stupid spinny thing and find another damn red spot to put her right hand. Underneath her, Krillin was whining about her taking up the blue spot that he needed to not dislocate his arm. The air around her consisted of the smell of plastic and the soap Krillin had washed in, as well as their sweat that surprisingly dripped down their faces.

She had believed that no adult could play this game and not have it be an excuse solely to put your crotch in someone's face, but still, there they were. Somehow, even with the rubbing and grinding, there was little romantic tension. He'd even, at one point, given her a very sad lap dance when trying to find a blue spot for his right leg, and neither had even blushed. Their limbs hurt too much for it to be sexual.

When your shoulder was on fire, Juuhachigou discovered, you really couldn't care much about how close someone else's hand was to your chest. Or the way his hair tickled her chin, when he stretched out a right hand for another blue spot.

"Please, could you switch to a different blue dot? My arm…"

"You should have thought of that before you took that yellow circle earlier."

Finally, the spinner moved. "Green, left hand green."

"Where's the green?"

"Where's the damn green?"

He was shifting under her, and she was blind from hair own hair falling into her face, as from his spiky dark hair that stuck up in every direction. "Why couldn't we just play Parcheesi, Krillin?

"You know, I think I saw Sorry in your closet? Or chess? Or that game where we have to draw stuff?"

"I thought," his voice was strained, "this would be better. Like a workout to make up for not being able to train."

Her left leg on that horrible yellow circle ached. "Scrabble. Why not Scrabble?"

"Oh god, my arm!"

When he fell, he took her with her. But _he _had fallen first, and so, therefore, she'd won.

"I think you lose." It was hard to breathe, and the knobs on his back jabbed into her own.

"Let's try a different game," Krillin offered. "Connect Four?"

"No more dots," she wheezed. "Except for the ones on your forehead."

**25. Role Reversal**

**(Partially inspired by the episode in GT where Juunanagou jumped Krillin and Juuhachigou, and kills Krillin because of his ridiculous outfit and my god, that mustache, even I wanted to shoot him through the chest for growing that thing. Juuhachigou's holding him and for some bizarre reason, I'm moved, honestly touched by her being so sad at losing her husband, it's sweet and painful, and then I'm laughing because the dialogue is ridiculous, and then laughing harder because of her memories of Krillin are so skewed and I want to tell her, 'hey, Juu, that's not what happened. Aw, that's so great, you really care, Krillin should die or pretend to die more often, but so wrong. He didn't say that at all, do you think that's what actually what happened?' **

**Then it occurred to me that maybe Krillin wasn't the only with the overactive imagination that could spin out of control with its grasp of reality so easily.)**

**(Also, I completely am aware of how messed up it is to go from Juuhachigou clutching her dead husband and crying out not to leave her, and coming to **_**this**_**)**

**(But come on Juuhachigou, he never said he was going to take Cell. And you were not that friendly looking when you kissed him. And he was way more terrified.)**

Juuhachigou sneered when she caught sight of the magazine just barely tucked under the couch. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved that at least they'd tried to hide the stuff while she was living here, or be sickened by it. It was a special issue, the cyborg realized, focusing on exotic blonde woman across the world.

She sat there, on the small red couch, and stared at it, making the same disgusted face as though that could make it disappear.

Then she picked it up and flipped through it.

What exactly did they see in this?

It was just naked bodies, how great could those be, and they were even ones that didn't even move. There was no appeal to this. As the woman whose hair matched several of the women in this magazine breezed through it, her opinion didn't change. The articles were ridiculous, the stories crude, the ads in the back for either escorts or more porn or fake crap that would never work, and there was no way_ those_ were real.

She closed it, snorting. Then a phrase stuck out, a damning phrase that repeated over and over and over again.

_Stupid,_ Juuhachigou told herself_. It was stupid. Forget it._

Yes, it was idiotic.

The perverts were all gone, leaving only her and Krillin.

_Stupid._

'…Kurt smiled pleasantly as always, his dark hair and short stature making him stick out like a sore thumb, always enjoying a woman with passion knowing how amazing they were in bed. Immediately the sunny haired woman felt herself growing w-'

Stupid.

Then she opened it up again.

What was that about the short, dark haired guy saving the blonde woman from an insane doctor whose 'ingenious' plan of turning her into a…robot of illicit nature worked, but, sadly, left her like an animal in heat all the time and could never be satisfied by herself alone.

Completely diabolical, this mad scientist.

'What she needed was not another toy of the plastic kind, but one that breathed and could fill every void she had, over and over again, until she screamed and writhed on the cold metal table.'

_What she needed_, Juuhachigou thought, _was a therapist._ _And a gun to shoot the mad doctor, and then herself to purge those thoughts from her head._

She ignored the part describing her, her being the 'spectacularly curved and well endowed' woman, and instead mostly read the words 'slim, well-muscled if not particularly tall body' and 'dashingly charming smile', 'messy hair that was as black as the night.' At the words 'rock hard' she had to get up and get a can of beer, grateful for once about what the perverts considered necessities when it came to drinks. In the fridge, she made sure that her hands didn't touch a single can emblazoned with a grape.

Juuhachigou sat back, and placed her feet on the coffee. It was already marked from the others relaxing and carelessly resting their feet on it. Even Krillin had given up on ever cleaning it properly. Remembering him bent over, trying to rub Pledge onto it and grumbling, she stole a look at the stairs. She could hear him upstairs, vacuuming since it was spring cleaning time. Sure, it was nice enough having a neat freak around to wash the dishes, but then if you left one book on the floor, it was hell.

Her eyes were so guilty, she knew. What she needed was something to hide them from people's view. Something dark that no one could see through while she read this.

Really. It was simply curiosity that drove this madness. How often did someone short get to play the hero?

_Yes,_ something snide told her, and nearly making her jump since she realized it wasn't her programming speaking, _so rare, maybe you should show Krillin and get his opinion on this piece._

_**Shut up. **_

The time in the lab where they'd first met and she'd literally thrown herself onto him, pushing him down and unzipping his pants while simultaneously warning him that he shouldn't have come here, which was a bit of a mixed message in this blonde's book. And just as they were having another go, her showing off her quite acrobatic body as she was shoved against a tank filled with always energetic genitalia, the insane doctor came in to find them. And then of course the madman wanted to study them both, and Kurt thought this was unacceptable. Besides, he was there to stop the guy from taking over the nearby town with his Nympho-lazer-beam.

_Very_ diabolical, this doctor.

But it all turned out to be okay. 'The feisty blonde with a daredevil smile and a pair of pouty lips' was saved, although unfortunately her clothes could not escape the disaster, and look, it turned out some of the insane doctor's modifications had actually come in quite handy.

_Yes_, Juuhachigou thought dryly, quite dryly, _since with all that moisture dampening her see-through underwear, she could put out the fire in the lab all on her own. _

'Oh, but shouldn't we wait until we know that he's dead?'

Kurt needed to shut his adorable face up.

'Oh no, her voice was a purr, and she easily was able to saddle the small man's hips. What I need right now is you.'

'I see, his grin was as happy as ever and he ran his fingers through his thick glossy black hair, well, then I'm glad to help. Although, you never told me your name.'

'Mm, you're so delectable, so hard,' Juuhachigou crumbled the magazine more, to hide the words in case someone looked over her shoulder.

'I just want to eat you up. You feel so good in me. I never got a name from the doctor.'

'You didn't? That's such a shame.' But he had a way of course of cheering her up. 'What did he call you then? And were you the only one in there?'

'Oh, I have a twin sister, she told him throwing back her head, groaning deep in her throat as she felt him stiffening through his pants, and the master always just called me Number 17?'

Krillin was right. It was spring cleaning time, and as a guest in his house, she should help him. Although, admittedly, setting all of the lower house on fire with a ki blast was not exactly what he had in mind. But really, looking at from a distance while he sent a kamehame wave into the ocean and the force sweeping the waves into the smoking pink building, it wasn't so bad.

They could rebuild. And then, maybe later, she could convince Krillin to grow his hair out.

**25. That's Just Wrong**

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth it down but in a way that wasn't so obvious. Appearances were important, regardless of the fact that she looked to have a pillow strapped to her stomach. "Have you been drinking?"

"Nope."

"Then why are you here?"

"Here?"

'Here_'_, was Krillin _there_, outside her raised window on the roof, legs spread and rocking back and forth on his heels. His grin was nothing short of goofy. "To say '_Hiiiiiii'."_ He waved at her, beaming.

Juuhachigou tried again for sanity. "Were you painting the room again? You know you shouldn't do that without proper ventilation."

"Nope."

"Then why are you so happy?"

"Because you're here." His smile was nothing short of brilliant.

"Where else would I be?"

"Anywhere else."

"With this thing?" She motioned to her stomach.

"Aw, come on, it's not so bad."

"How would you know? There's no parasite in you. Although," her voice became thoughtful. "You might have one or two from whatever the hell Chi-Chi serves."

"Well, it's our honeymoon, shouldn't you be happy?"

"I would be, if we weren't here with those perverts."

"Well, it is Master Roshi's house and all…I got the donuts you wanted."

"Good. And the mustard?"

"…yes. Oh please, _no_, Juuhachigou. That can't be good for the baby!"

"What," her words were muffled by the yellow smeared junk food. "It's fine."


	2. 26 thru 50

**26. It's Not What You Think **

Krillin was an optimistic man, but not an altogether foolishly hopeful one without any touch on reality. Thus, he did not tend to carry protection.

Juuhachigou was a bitter woman, and too afraid to actually have an exam and found out how much underneath her skin was metal. So she underestimated how much exactly of her remained human.

With this combination, they both understood that the dread they felt when she was a week late was justifiable.

He was spastically turning the faucets on and off. Then tearing out rough recyclable napkins from the dispenser to wipe down the mirrors. "It'll be okay, Juu. We'll get through this." Then he frantically ran around the room. He jumped up and spun around _on a wall_ before going to wipe down a sink. Was his presence in this dirty bathroom of a gas station good or bad?

"Shut up, just shut up. This is hard enough without you waiting outside the stall."

"Are you almost done?"

"Just leave. Get out now."

"Fine, fine." He fled from the bathrooms, the door falling shut, and she yelled through the metal to get her another orange juice.

When he came back, her hand was twitching, and everything was done. She couldn't hold the stick steady, just staring at the white plastic, and waiting for a plus or minus. He dropped the carton of orange juice.

They stared at the stick for a long time.

Krillin was hyperventilating, while she could barely breathe at all.

After another minute, there could be no mistaking it. She'd hoped for at least a smudge or blur or some shade that could be blue, or maybe pink. Purple. Why couldn't it have been purple? And an x? Or a t?

He threw his arms around her. "It'll be okay. We'll get through this. You'll be a great mom. I just know it.

"Please don't cry. Everything will be fine. I know we'll be wonderful parents."

**27. Starts**

Although arguable she'd made the first move, he'd been the one to get attached first, to fall for her. Taking in their personalities, everyone assumed that she was the one to ask him out.

No one even suspected that he had been the one to show up at her house, to say hello and offer the olive branch of peace. Only the two of them knew that he came there again, a week later, drunk out of his little crazy mind, telling her in this determined, sloppy way exactly how he felt for her, and what he wanted to do to her in lurid detail about and how exactly he was going to do so.

Not even her brother would know that she'd never blushed harder than at that moment, and had never been quicker than when she pulled him into the house. She swore that she only did it to shut him up, and to stop her brother from hearing.

Juuhachigou, and Krillin (in a blurry way) were the ones who knew about the way she shoved him down, furious and revolted and more aroused than ever before, _how dare you?_

_You're the most amazing woman I've ever seen._

_You disgust me! _

_I think I'm in love with you._

_I don't care!_

_Can I spend the night?_

…_yes._

And how their relationship roughly started right there on the couch.

Right there on her brother's favorite blue coat.

But of course, she could never say would have actually happened, or described the way the leather creaked or was horribly cold against a bare ass, and the way a crude wooden table cracked as it snapped when she threw Krillin onto it. The way they both jumped when it did so, then laughed, and then threw themselves at each other again. It broke eventually, but at that point neither cared.

So when the others would ask Krillin how he'd won Juuhachigou's heart whenever there was a get together, he would just shrug and she would change the subject, and everyone would smirk at how shy they were, how sweet and old-fashioned.

**28. Spring**

"You know what day this is, don't you, boy?" Master Roshi wagged an eyebrow at his remaining pupil. Krillin rolled his eyes. He remembered very clearly about finding out that Wednesday was 'hump day'. Whatever exactly that meant. Around here, wasn't it always hump day? If not from the porn, then from his Master complaining about his back.

"What day is it, Master?" He asked, with the same air of a teenager hearing their most obnoxious uncle repeating the same joke every year at the family reunions.

"The start of spring!"

"So?" Mentally, the short fighter wondered if it was time to go out and buy more allergy medication. Surely the old stuff must have gone bad by now?

"He-eey, Juu?"

The slim woman glanced behind her shoulder, before continuing to dig into the closet, gingerly pushing aside old magazines.

"Do you know what day it is?"

"The first of May."

"Do you know what that means?"

"The start of spring."

"Eh heh. It means it's time to start screwing outdoors!"

"Yes," her voice was clinical and detached. "I know." She finally found what she was looking for, which confused Krillin, since why did she need a large blanket when it was after all the start of spring? Juuhachigou tucked it under her arm.

"Come on, Krillin," the blonde woman grabbed and pulled him by his collar. "I know a secluded part of the park."

So he found himself, on the first day of May, drinking tea with a nervous tick and watching Juuhachigou, who kept explaining, amused at first, that she'd just wanted to get out of the house, and there would be no sex.

"Of any kind," her eyes narrowed, warningly, and made him wonder what kind there _was_ exactly. He thought on what kinds there might be, all those different types that might exist, and had another piece of cherry pie.

They looked at the trees, the nice, nonsexual trees that dropped nuts and fruits to splatter under their feet and made them unappetizing, the pretty flowers he couldn't pick for her that spread pollen everywhere and made Krillin almost sneeze and Juuhachigou stare at him, the birds calling to each other, and dates walking past arm and arm, the creepy guy in the leather trench coat with the binoculars who seemed to pay more attention to the people walking by then the cawing birds overhead.

They sat there, separated by at least two safe feet, and listened to the squirrels chattering almost angrily and thought about Juurokugou.

"I think they're fighting," Juuhachigou motioned to the furry animals rolling around in the trees before their heads.

One of them wasn't getting off the other. "No…I think they're…"

"Humping?"

They both had another piece of pie, and wondered, hoped, that the man with the binoculars was just reaching into his pocket to look for a booklet on birds. Or a lost coin.

"To call his parole officer," she mumbled, suspicious more than ever of weird men after moving into Kame House.

"I'm sure he's a normal guy."

"In a leather trench coat?"

"Okay, maybe he's just…"

They looked at him closely. Someone yelled something, outraged. "Okay. Or not. Dear god, right in the park?" And then Juuhachigou looked at _him_ closely, and maybe, he shouldn't have sounded so curious, so awed.

When someone finally called the cops and he was removed, and after they gave their statement, they packed up and headed home. Old fallen leaves remained underfoot to squish under their shoes and slip them up. She walked close to him, and Krillin liked to think some stranger might have thought they were a couple. Juuhachigou looked mildly worried when he began coughing over some pretty flowers, and he made a note to have his allergy prescription taken in.

**29. Fall**

Krillin was so eagerly and neatly sweeping up the fallen leaves, that Juuhachigou had no choice but to discretely set a ki wave over them while his back was turned to mess up his pile. His confused face when he turned around, as well as the flutter of brown leaves in his new hair made her smile.

Politely, she tapped him on the shoulder just as he was trying to gather the leaves again. He jumped, and she casually pulled and held the rake's handle away from him so no one got stabbed by it. Her smile told him everything, including how he should fall on his back.

"Chi-Chi will be back any second now. We can't be found like this."

But there was something in the air. Nothing quite so corny as 'magic' like Krillin might have called it. It was something nice and crisp and fresh, and even as nature died or slowed or withered around them, she felt good. He was there, and she was there, and the dead leaves under them didn't crinkle from their weight. It was pleasant, and the sweet, polite way he unbuttoned her shirt allowed her to ignore the smell of mothballs on his sweater.

So good that she didn't even care when the widow of the man she was programmed to kill finally walked in on them and began screeching, telling Krillin that she was going to beat him to death. Obviously she didn't recognize who Juuhachigou was, or she probably wouldn't have turned the hose on them both.

_Or_, as Juuhachigou thought while spitting out a mouthful of freezing water, soaked, _maybe she still would have._

**30. Winter**

The only time they ever saw snow was when they headed up north. Thankfully, this time they weren't there to visit the Sons, and even as Krillin whined, she knew that they wouldn't take a step onto that yellow dome of a house. Today, she wouldn't have to listen to a pregnant harpy yell at her for not wiping her shoes properly on the mat or for Krillin to finally pop the question to Juuhachigou, and then again for when he fell over and knocked a pot of hot water onto his head.

The air smelled and tasted sweet. Sweeter than one of Chi-Chi's double-layer chocolate cakes.

Next to her, grabbing and pulling on a heavy coat while she stood next to him in a plain white shirt, Krillin went on about how lovely this spot he'd found was. Gohan had thrown him into the waterfall during a sparring session, but Krillin insisted that it was still perfect and lovely. Juuhachigou could already see the silver of the frozen lake, the pink of his cheeks and his delighted smile when she grudgingly agreed that it was very nice, hiding her own smile that he would inevitably pick up on.

Although surely he knew better, he insisted on wrapped his own scarf around her neck. "It's too cold," Krillin said, seriously, making sure it was tight enough to not fall off. Before they left, she kissed him for a long moment, savoring the peace. When they arrived and created a warm fort underneath the snow that collapsed atop them, it was still better than being at the Son's. No matter how much snow went down the backs of their clothes.

**31**.** Summer**

What he needed, he understood, was to trap her in a room for awhile. He needed them to both be stuck in an enclosed space, and slowly wear down her will. To do what Bulma had done to Vegeta.

After enough time, her urge to hit him or run away would crumble. She would smile at something he said while rolling her eyes. They would start to have inside jokes, then he would say or do something that would stick in her mind. It would haunt her, this word or gesture, until it would invade or at least taint every thought. Meals would become excruciatingly wrought with tension. When she started to avoid him, he would have her right where he wanted.

The blue-haired scientist had explained to this, telling him the steps that were needed to be taken. "She'll deny everything and it'll take forever to wear her down, but eventually she'll cave in. She just has to get over her ego."

It was his, _their_, charm.

Well now he had his chance.

And look, they had to do it wearing only skimpy clothing.

Joy.

Across from him, the beaten woman could no longer push back the strands of hair from her face. Every time, the fans would just blow it right back.

She stared at him, blurrily, "I hate you, baldy."

"Right back at you, blondie."

She started to push herself upright, then fell back against the couch. "You have no right to be angry at me. I'm the one who was tricked."

"Were you," Krillin asked, uninterested.

"Yes, you said," she pointed an accusing finger at him. "You said this is a nice island. You _liar_."

"Did I?"

"You promised me a temperate zone. The humidity, Krillin, _the humidity_!"

"Yes." His head rolled limply on his neck. "But at least," he tried. "We have each other?"

"What does _that _mean?"

And she became more and more annoyed, while Krillin fell into a heavy sleep.

Each other? What about each other? Since when did they 'have each other'?

Juuhachigou snorted.

_'Each other.' _

Ridiculous.

What made him think he had her? And her him? What made him think she wanted him? What was considered 'having'? Why would he want her?

Why would she want him?

It wasn't as though she had a list, or any ideas as to why she might want him. Because she didn't.

_'Each other.'_

**32. ****I feel connected to something strange and strong.**

She was the devil, there, on that sand. Smiling, with blood on her teeth and hair from his stray blows that she'd allowed to simply check her opponent's strength. There was no red gleam to her foreign eyes; it wasn't necessary. Beneath the pale lovely face, there was metal and gears and wires that provided strength and life.

Juuhachigou still had no ki, whatever claims of her humanity might be made. No name. No memory.

And lying on the ground, Krillin was piteously groaning and clutching his ribs.

"_Juu-haaachigou_. That one hurt."

"I've hardly used any strength. Get up. You said you wanted to compete in the tournament."

"Can't we stop for a break?"

"Oh, fine then. Marron probably needs a diaper change. You can manage that, can't you?"

"_Mean_."

**33. Drink/Drunk**

Krillin's beaming smile and the burning of candles was all she could see in the room. Those, and the brightly wrapped presents that made her feel so ashamed. In some forgotten language, she'd heard that the word 'gift' also meant 'poison,' and that had never made complete sense to her until now.

_What are you doing here?_

_I have no idea._

Juuhachigou's stomach rolled and she had another glass of punch and tried not to be conspicuous. Which was simultaneously very difficult and easy to do. There were several aliens here, a couple of kids, and several very rambunctious man-children. And the other women, they also were in various states of immaturity and made more noise than the men.

She was keenly aware that she didn't belong. Her relief over her brother not being here was as strong as her wish that he was next to her, wearing a smirk and about to say another sarcastic zinger.

So she had another glass of punch.

As the stares she was given, either hostile or curious, or annoyingly knowing, began to no longer linger when the evening continued on, she still felt self-conscious. A cup of punch was needed, again.

Everyone began filing out to leave and she hung around the back of the living room, and waited. While having another glass of punch. Only after they were alone did she stumble over to him.

"You're drunk." He stared at her open-mouthed. "You're actually drunk."

"_And _I didn't buy you anything." Her breathing became more labored. The worst idea came to her.

"That's okay. You coming was more than enough. Aw, Juuhachigou, that's not what you were worried about, were you?" Krillin smiled, looking so earnest and sincere and so damndibly sweet and cute. She grabbed him by his jug ears, and for the millionth time in their minds, and the second time in reality, bent downward to kiss him.

It was, he swore the next morning as he held back Juuhachigou's hair while she vomited, the best birthday present anyone had ever given him.

**34. It's Only Rock 'N' Roll**

No matter how much she understood him, in ways that even he didn't fully comprehend, there was one thing Juuhachigou did not get. Which Krillin didn't really understand; they had the similar taste in food, in shows, how could she not share his love in music. Or, more importantly, karaoke.

How could a woman, his soul mate, not get how awesome it was to be up there, with the bright light on your face, feeling sweat run down your back, while you tried desperately to keep up with the white words being scrawled across the blue screen? Hearing your friends heckle you and dodging the occasional can of beer, and still not remembering the chorus of your favorite song you sang every day in the shower. There was a certain beauty up there on stage, a certain power and fame.

She refused to even try, something Krillin thought was particularly unfair. Surely a duet…but no, she only made this horrified face every time he tried to pull her on stage or give the microphone to her. She didn't mind when they danced, even if they were the first on the floor, so it wasn't a matter of being self-conscious.

Krillin just didn't get it.

But still, even if she refused to join in, Krillin would always dedicate the ballads to her, making sure to point her out in a crowd.

**35. Tattoo You**

Juuhachigou had never doubted his devotion. Not once. Even before they'd gone out on a single date, she'd known how he felt and that forever she would own his heart. He was hers, forever and ever and ever.

However.

That road of careless thoughtless love only went in one direction.

He would never say it, but obviously he was convinced he loved her more.

Juuhachigou would not let that stand.

That was why, after a few shots of Jack Daniels and a visit to a sketchy part of the nearby port down, she found herself in a questionable tattoo parlor, pants pulled down and a giddy smile on her face. Blood thankfully didn't trickle down her leg, despite her being too drunk to even walk completely straight.

"He'll really love this," she told a heavily tattooed man whose unfeeling face told the blonde woman that he didn't give a damn either way.

"I really think he'll like his name in that heart."

"What about the dragon wrapped around it?"

"That's not too tacky, is it?"

When she stumbled home, redolent of whiskey and rubbing her sore hip, the now-completely-unquestionable object of her affection was sitting at a table. Staring at him, Juuhachigou felt her heart overflow giddy happiness. Look how sweet he was, waiting up all night, afraid for her because she'd forgotten to leave a note explaining her absence. Those big dark eyes that were so scared, the loose mouth near wobbling because he'd thought she might be dead.

She didn't deserve him.

Juuhachigou tugged down her jeans.

"What happened?" He sounded appalled instead of that gooey tone of absolute affection she expected.

"What?"

"Did you get burned?"

"What?" Horrified, she twisted her head and stared at her hip. On her side, just beneath the band of her underwear, there was a hideous scab. Her stomach gave a twinge that made her think of the clothes going around in a washer. It told her that the spin cycle was here, and that the clothes were going to come tumbling right out this moment.

"Oh, right. Well," Juuhachigou pulled her jeans back up. "In a couple of weeks, you're going to be very moved. Now help me to the bathroom, because I think I'm going to be sick."

**36. Movies**

Krillin had a tendency to talk during movies. He chattered through them, saying little things like "Once, Goku did that, and Bulma called the cops." Leaving her wonder for five minutes about why exactly Bulma had called the police just for boxing a few robots around the room. Then she would think about it for another ten, playing other movies in her head of all the destruction the spiky-haired man had done over the years. By then, she would lose all track of the movie and Krillin would have to explain what she'd missed, talking over another ten minutes of film until she was entirely lost.

But through this one, he didn't say anything. He was too busy crying.

"I hope they die, slowly and painfully," Juuhachigou hissed into his ear.

The sound of his sobbing could be overheard even as she sucked the last drops obnoxiously from her cup, using a straw and making sure to take her time getting every tiny bit. Even over her crunching on popcorn and chewing candy.

The tears had swollen his eyes, until he could only blink pitifully and dap at them with a napkin. But still, damn it, he could make out the screen and the couple, the adorable perfectly matched couple, one of whom was dying of a slow mysterious cancer. They didn't know, because their tests had gotten mixed up and they didn't want to know who was dying; they just wanted to be together for as long as possible. Their relationship was so doomed, so star-crossed and romantic.

Juuhachigou hated them. She crossed her arms and waited for one of them to croak.

She hated their tiny, charming apartment, their opposite looks, the tender looks and smiles. She hated their perfectly woolen and cotton clothes that you better believe were brand name, their sweet families that had died before their time, and even the small dog they'd adopted. She hated his blonde mussed hair and her straight dark locks, the blue-gray and brown eyes, their matching sweaters and scarves. She hated the graceful way they were in bed, and their cuddling, and even the way they cried without looking unseemly.

The easy way they leaned into each other, content and loving. Those three words that fell so easily from their mouths.

She watched another tear trail down Krillin's face. Then she shifted in her seat, and placed one of her arms over his small shoulders. Her words were tender in his pink shell ear. "I hope she starves to death in a well, and he dies by being ravaged by wolves."

**37. Speechless  
**

A tiniest crack in her icy demeanor was found when she narrowed her eyes, just slightly, after he moved his bishop. Otherwise, her face was as lovely and emotionless as usual. A rook moved to the left, and again, the blue eyes became a little narrower. In the bright living room, as the light flooded in, her pores were barely visible, but Krillin could make out the dark circles under her eyes as they played another game.

She moved her queen for too much, even after all these games. She was too paranoid. What she needed was to relax a little, and learn to use her pawns more.

Krillin lifted the knight, and there was a slow dawning on her face.

Her king was in check.

He smiled, about to offer her another chance, another, another, when she simply took both sides of the board, and tossed the pieces into his face.

**38. Hot and Cold**

Their relationship was a see-saw one. Right now, it was all saw. Everyone in the house mentally rolled over and prepared themselves for a fight by surrendering. The sea itself seemed to feel her rage. Through the window, Krillin watched a crab scuttle away, and felt envious. If not just for the ability to escape, or the safe shell, but that it didn't have Juuhachigou's attention.

"What," every syllable was pronounced perfect, as though it were her words in question, "did you just say?"

"I just…"

"_What_?"

Her eyes were huge and snakelike.

There was a hiss of sneakers and sandals on the hardwood floor as the housemates slid and ran and threw themselves out of the house. From what they could tell, this was huge on the scale. A two had been their honeymoon, until she learned of the video camera his roommates were trying to install above the bed. A four was everyday, business as usual; a five if someone forgot to leave a note on the door informing the others of an empty carton of milk; and a nine was the night Krillin brought his friends here without warning her beforehand.

If she'd come downstairs before he'd gotten a chance to clean up after them, it would have been a twelve.

And now, it was at least a six. When the temple began to twitch, a six and a half. Krillin shot for a solid seven by telling her to calm down. Then, abruptly, she just shut down almost as though he had the old remote, only with less full out collapsing. A full furious ten.

"Come on Juuhachigou."

"No, it's fine. Obviously, you don't care about my opinion."

"Don't try to guilt me."

"Don't pretend you care then."

"Fine."

She huffed and opened a crinkled newspaper. After five minutes of solid silence and their housemates scrambled to their rooms, the short man tore the paper from her grasp, yelling at her to not ignore him and to just talk to him about what the problem was.

**39. Bad Idea**

She stared at the smear (shmear?) that was left. Then she shrugged.

Eh, okay, he'd been pretty cute.

But really, that voice.

She didn't need to listen to that nasally drone go on and on about how she and her brother could turn over a new leaf. And since they'd probably blown up the last store for miles, wherever would she find a decent gag? Plus she had a feeling her brother would want to share, like just about everything even when she wanted to torture someone by herself, and they would end up fighting and really, it was just too stressful.

Still, though, the six dots had been kind of adorable. And the big sad eyes. Oh please, don't hurt anyone else.

She shrugged again.

Oh well.

**40. Good Idea**

They looked like crushed bugs, there on the dirt. Blood trickled slowly from their wounds, as though it itself was as beaten as them.

Why the hell did that purple-haired one have a sword? How stupid could you be to think a sword could actually do any damaged? She was amused to find this in this foolish boy's worn face an echo of the dark-haired Saiyan besides him.

The way they'd been able to so easily crush the 'resistance' cheered her up.

The victory even made the bumpy car ride tolerable.

Juuhachigou felt her lips curving upward into a smile. They must have wondered, after the short guy had given them senzu beans, why they hadn't died. But of course, they would never consider themselves lucky or fortunate, or that they deserved to be smacked around a little and this was why the cyborgs had shoved them down a peg or two.

Instead of slaughtering them where they stood as that voice in their heads forever and ever no matter how many times her brother kicked his head off his shoulders, told them to do, they had given them _mercy_.

Killing an enemy was something, but beating him was a lot more.

And yet, she flicked a bug that flew in through the window away, the little gang of fighters would never understand. They would never have to hear this voice of the man who had taken everything from them and somehow, given them much more and much less. How much was strength worth, when you were chained to such a being for all of eternity. When you didn't have a name, you had a _number_.

Even if the fighters died, they would still be able to remember their childhoods.

It wasn't as though she and her brother hadn't necessarily set out to not kill them. It was just…not as fun to kill them. They were both aware of their forever-youth, and really, destroying the lives of scurrying humans and their little toys would be fun. Very fun and nothing would give her more satisfaction than destroying that little store that had seen fit to call a cowboy hat and a belt buckle acceptable accessories.

But…there was something wrong with that. Not that she would feel bad for the people that might die or go without their fringed vests, but it was lacking. Yes, you could take what you wanted from this place before blowing it up, but why not just…leave them be? Let them scurry, while she and her brother casually knocked down the pieces that held them up. Blowing up and killing the cops, or instead, beat them, take their dignity as it had been stripped and then regiven to them in a new shape, and laugh in their faces.

Perhaps they might even learn.

If not, well, the duo, _trio_, would have their fun teaching them anyway. Besides, they had all of eternity to do this. Why ruin all the good times so quickly?

They would let them live the group of heroes, for a little more playtime. Especially that quivering one with the huge eyes and the balancing, tottering courage. She had plans for that one.

**41. master/slave**

Juuhachigou looked into a pair of eyes that had seemingly overnight shifted from her father's familiar shade of black into a blue that she saw every time she looked into the mirror, or her brother stopped by.

Next to her, his head buried protectively into her lap, Krillin cried.

The baby made an adorable frown of discontentment, and this was not her mother's pouty boredom, but Krillin's seemingly genuinely hurt stare. This stare was not to be easily tossed aside. It was just too pathetic.

All the books said that boundaries should be established, and control and order. She knew this; it was common sense really.

If her husband had no defense against this onslaught, Juuhachigou had even less.

"Fine. We'll go to the zoo."

The tears immediately dried up on the little face. The mouth turned upward in delight. "Yay!"

Juuhachigou had known fear and defeat when fighting against Cell, and the time afterward when she'd been left adrift to find another purpose. She suspected that she'd feel it again, even as she settled down. Nothing could ever be truly peaceful and still.

But never could she have imagined a two-year old being the cause of it.

**42. Prejudice**

When they met again, he wasn't the one to pull back and flinch, frightened.

She was.

Her entire spine froze and for a second she hoped he was just a hallucination. But no, he was there, wearing stupid clothes and a dumber smile.

"Are you alone?"

Considering he was sitting in a chair surrounded by an empty table, it seemed like an idiotic question. But you could never know; since when did Krillin stop by malls in his spare time? Not enough from what she'd seen of his wardrobe.

He tugged at his baseball cap, still looking amused. "Nice to see you too, Juuhachigou."

"What are you doing here then, without your little," her eyes narrowed as she sneered. "Friends?"

"Shopping?" The short man shrugged, and she took comfort in the fact that she towered over him in height alone. He looked so pitiful sitting there in some plastic chair in some dinky mall. Then she looked around nervously to confirm no other familiar person was walking up to them. She couldn't imagine Vegeta coming here, or Gohan, or that purple-haired unknown man, but who knew anymore. A bug had swallowed two of the strongest beings in the universe, then spat one of them out after a ten-year-old punched him. Reality and sense was a slippery thing.

Noticing her paranoia, Krillin held out his hands, palms revealed. "It's okay. It's just me. And besides, my friends would never hurt you."

His smile widened nervously. "So, is your brother here?"

"Of course not." And Juuhachigou realized he was a little afraid of Juunanagou, but not her. And he didn't realize that she was the one he should be worrying about. Her twin didn't even know the exact details of what had happened after he'd been absorbed. But, oh, Juuhachigou was aware of what this little man had done.

If his friends saw her again, at the least they would give her (them) suspicious knowing looks before pulling him away. Or starting a fight with her in the food court.

An awkward moment passed, and Krillin's eyes darted around, barely touching on her before moving away. "Okay."

"Okay then."

Then she turned on her heel, leaving him behind.

**43. Private**

Although they'd talk to him a few times on the phone, he rarely stopped by. They had not, literally, seen him in at least a year. For the most part, Krillin seemed content to just stay on Kame Island. Understandably, she and Chi-Chi were concerned.

"I think he's still taking Goku's death hard."

Chi-Chi shook her head. "That's no excuse to lock himself in his room like this. It's been _years_; he needs to move on." But Bulma could see the wariness in her black eyes. Like always, it was easier said than done.

They knocked politely on the door, and prayed, silently and to themselves, that Roshi was not home.

Krillin answered the door.

He yawned and scratched his head, and it took them a few moments to take in what they were seeing.

"You grew your hair out?"

It was fairly long too, meaning this wasn't just a spur on the moment decision. Krillin blinked at them, his face starting to lose color. "Yeah."

"…are you going to invite us in?"

"Sure."

Stiffly, the short man moved aside and led them inside. Gingerly, they stepped around dolls and cars and stuffed animals and crayons and coloring books. He started to squirm, guilty and scared.

"What's with all the toys?"

"Are you babysitting someone else's kid?"

"Oh, I see how it is Krillin. We fight off the bad guy, and you cheat on us with other mothers?"

His grin was strained. "Oh, it's definitely not like that."

An unknown woman came down the arms, dressed as casually at Krillin, although she didn't look anywhere near as relaxed or happy. She froze at the bottom of the steps, looking at them with alarmed eyes. There was a bundle in her arms. One that moved.

The blanket wrapped around her shifted aside from the movement, and revealed a baby with blonde pigtails and a huge pair of deep grey eyes that matched a certain short fighter. Chi-Chi and Bulma tossed him incredulous, amazed looks.

There went the babysitting someone _else's_ kid theory.

In a millisecond, the dark-haired woman was up and scooping the child out of an unnerved woman's arms.

"And what's_ your_ name," Chi-Chi asked the infant in a sugar sweet tone while the little girl just looked up at her blankly, asking wordlessly, 'what exactly are you expecting'? Neither she nor her mother seemed to blink as much as other people needed to. "Someone finally got a girl; I'm so jealous."

"She's adorable, Krillin." Bulma punched the short man in the arm. Then her voice dropped dangerously, warning him that the punch was just the beginning. "Why haven't we seen her until now?"

"Well…" He shot an accusing, guilty look to the new woman in his life.

Chi-Chi was too busy cooing over the infant, so Bulma shifted over and held out a hand and a smile to the cold-faced woman. She was younger than the other two, Bulma noticed, not at all jealous. But when she realized that the new mother had apparently bounced back immediately since that child couldn't be more than a few months old and yet this lady couldn't be even a size six, she did feel a little burn over how unfair that was.

Her blonde hair was straight and even, the eyes almond shaped and exotic. How exactly did Krillin, Kami bless him and his no longer shiny head, manage to talk this woman into a date, let alone a child?

Awkwardly, the strange woman took her hand and glanced behind her shoulder at her…yes, that was a ring on that finger, so, her _husband_. The scientist decided to take a high road and decide it had been a short engagement and the wedding of a shotgun or drive-thru variety.

Bulma threw a sharp toothed grin at Krillin. "You have told her about us, have you?"

The short guy was looking at his shoes. "A little. Most of it she already knew."

"_What_?"

"You're the cutest thing I've ever seen," Chi-Chi told the blank-faced baby. "Look at your tiny fingers. I could just take you home and eat you right up."

More uncertainty rose in the blonde woman's eyes. Obviously, she was smart enough to be disturbed by the other woman's antics. Which put her head and shoulders, again, over Maron. "Don't worry, she won't actually do it."

She waited for either Krillin or the woman herself to introduce her, then waited some more. "So, what's your name?"

She was keeping one pale eye on her child, "Juuhachigou."

"That's nice," the blue-haired genius said instinctively. Then she went over it in her head. _Juuhachigou. Number Eighteen?_

Krillin hopped off the couch, and he immediately was grabbing his friend's arms and pulling Bulma toward the door. Skillfully, he slid his daughter from Chi-Chi's starry eyed grasp and pushed them out the doorway, one-handed. "We'll come by next Saturday," he promised. Then he kicked the door shut.

_Juuhachigou? Number Eighteen?_

_"Krillin!" _Bulma pounded furiously on the door. "Did you marry the android you were _supposed to shut down_?"

**44. Respect**

When the others warned him that the two were a bad influence, Krillin was sure that this wasn't what they'd meant. What they _had_ meant, he wasn't clear on. But not this.

Luckily, the store owner didn't give him a second look.

With his white polo shirt and jeans, large innocent eyes, plus _his age_, no one would have pegged him for a shoplifter. Instead, he gave a suspicious look to the teenagers who were staring and not-staring at the dirty mags near the front of the store.

Briefly, he wondered if he brought Juuhachigou and Juunanagou in with him to stores, would they just be able to rob the place blind using the same technique of misdirection?

The cold air on his face as he quickly opened the freezer door wasn't enough to chill the sweat running down his face.

It wasn't that they were too young. They were, to Krillin's disbelief and relief, only six or so years younger than him. The two could legally drink. Only…they didn't have any ID. How could they get any, when they had no social security number or even a real name? It was unfair, and so the short fighter felt obligated to help them.

They couldn't even go into any bars, since physically they looked to be teenagers. Not to mention, between the joyriding and pinching fights, which would occur even in public, mentally they weren't exactly very mature.

Were they really in their twenties?

Would they lie to him about that?

For some reason, when he was with them, he was the same age as them. Like he'd lost a good few (six? _really_?) years of maturity.

Really, it was her brother's fault. He brought something childish out on them. The dark-haired twin was a relief and an anxiety. There would be no awkward silences when he was near, true. And he always had an idea of something to do to pass time. But the activities, on the surface not necessarily bad, always turned into a way to make him do something against the rules or just humiliating.

Like ice skating: But he didn't know how, and nearly broke his tail bone after they forced him away from his hot cocoa, and onto the ice.

Or going swimming: No one had ever, until that day on the river, dared him to go skinny dipping.

Or going into a convenience store and just take a bottle of wine: there was no way he would actually do it, he was too much of a coward. The bottle shoved down his pants was chilling, freezing him, and he understood that he deserved that.

Once he made it outside, Krillin could breathe again.

Shame immediately hit in the fading afternoon light. The streetlights would come on soon, and he wished that he'd just bought the wine and pretended to steal it. Since they could lie to him about their age, he could lie about wine. Even after he pulled the alcohol out, he still felt cold.

Then the two bounded out of the alley they were casually waiting in.

Juunanagou was laughing, saying he couldn't believe he'd actually done it, admiring the year on the bottle, while Juuhachigou smiled at him, and patted him on the back. Her touch was light, wonderful. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"You know, I got an idea in there. In case you wanted to go shopping for free."

She looked even more impressed.

It was wrong, but his body was back to normal temperature at her touch, and so he no longer cared much about conventional rules. Her smile made him wonder 'what was so wrong with jumping into a lake on a hot day naked, and why couldn't he take a bottle of wine every now and again.' It wasn't as though he planned to ride on the Nimbus Cloud anytime soon. He could just fly if he needed to get somewhere.

Or maybe have Juunanagou steal him a car.

**45. Comfort zone**

It was quite possibly, the exact moment his entire life had been waiting for. This was everything, the pain and struggles and deaths had been leading up to. Everything.

He closed his eyes, and leaned in.

Then he opened them. Krillin became very aware that his face was set in a ridiculous pout and that she was not leaning into_ him_.

When he looked into her eyes, he could read her perfectly. The fear of what this meant, what he was to her and her to him, all of that compounded into this exact moment. Any second now, it would all break apart and she would understand that this was okay. That he loved her, and this was perfectly safe and wonderful.

"I don't think so, lover boy." Then she casually pushed him into one of her brother's rose bushes and the sound of her closing the front door of her house echoed through the woods.

**46. Milk**

Another reason why Krillin was convinced fate plotted against him: Every time he ran into Juuhachigou, the circumstances were always bad.

If she was not trying to kill him or his friends, he was there to kill her. Or she'd awoken from a coma to find him and his friends hovering nearby, her brother gone, and finding out that one of her enemies, and the bald, scared one at that, had a crush on her. Someone, in short, was either beaten or humiliated. Or both.

So of course, sitting on the couch in his underwear, hearing the distant crash and crackle of cartoons, and feeling the soggy cereal that he'd spilled into his lap when she'd arrived and looked at him through the screen door, he could only sigh. And reach for a napkin.

**47. Skin**

Her fingers traced over his old scars. He tried not to melt into his chair. "Have you ever thought of getting them removed? There are lasers that could take these right off."

His mind took a second to take in what she said beyond the word 'removed' and 'take these right off.' "Oh, I'm just used to them. They remind me…" Krillin shook his head. Never mind.

Still, the tips of her slim, harmless only in appearance fingers continued to trace circles on his forehead.

His own, harmless, dangerous question about whether or not she had any scars disappeared when her hand touched a scar on his temple from Namek then trailed down to his lips. "You bite your lip too much," she informed him, as serious as ever.

**48. Anniversary**

They'd been together six months, and as soon as he mentioned this, Juuhachigou drove an elbow into his side that sent him falling to the ground.

"We are not together."

Her foot rested casually onto his throat, and Krillin was glad they were out here on an empty island where no one could see them. If any of their other roommates caught them like this, they would get the wrong idea and freak out and tell Krillin to break up with her while he had Gohan by his side. They wouldn't understand how normal this was.

"What, do you want some romantic dinner? Do I have to buy you a tacky tie and put on some uncomfortable lingerie and you crack a joke about that being for dessert?"

"Does this mean," He wheezed, "that I don't have to buy you a present?"

"Pearls," she said, slowly, taking her foot off of him. "And if you don't bring them, don't come home."

"Alright." Krillin gasped for breathe and rolled over. "And just so you know, I like that little black number you bought that you didn't think I knew about. Also, Master Roshi keeps the chocolate syrup in the back of the fridge."

Her furious kicking was made worthwhile by her angrier agreement. "Just make sure to wear that hideous tie."

**49. Ticklish**

Sadly, it was while sparring she discovered a whole new weakness. He'd just gotten over his embarrassment when touching her too. Unfortunate. For some bizarre reason, he couldn't even get her in a headlock and not blush.

But now he was holding her in a decent lock, when she, carefully aware of his rule about not really hurting him, ran her fingers against his side.

The most ridiculous giggles left his mouth, and she was able to push him away, incredulous. She did it again, for sake of science, but moved her hands up. He squirmed even more when she reached his chest. Fascinating.

Under his arms, and he was nearly in tears and trying to shove her away. Useless, of course. Even if she'd felt like moving away, she wouldn't have shifted from the force of his weaker hands. It was curiously enjoyable teasingly running the tips of her fingers up and down his back.

Curling up in a ball only left his neck exposed, and when he raised an arm to cover it, she could get his armpit again.

Unbidden, a smile touched her mouth, watching him roll around like a child. She had to sit on him and hold his wrists with one hand while the other one made tears run down his red face. Her chest felt light, as though some weight was being removed by his laughter.

"Juuhachigou! _Stop_!"

"There's no way you're a real fighter."

**50. Gravity**

Juuhachigou fell against him with a soft sigh. Since he was doing his best to show he was a mature, reasonably adult, even if she was not conscious, he did not squeal in delight. He carefully put down his book. Warm breathe tickled the back of his head and ear.

She barely weighed a thing, and he grinned helplessly.

Juuhachigou snored.

It was a careful maneuver. He pulled away, moving like the wind, and turning gracefully to catch her as she fell backwards.

He could feel dirt under his newly booted foot as the memories came back of when he'd first held her. This time, he could appreciate the flawless skin without the tinge of fear that someone would blow her up. Miraculously, she did not awake when he slid an arm under her knees and scooped her up.

Her room was just up the stairs and down the small hallway. The infrequent trips there had always been daunting, but now he felt more confident. After all, he was being a gentleman and delivering the owner of this room back to her bed.

The sheets were pulled up neatly, and the room was as clean and decorated as a hotel's. She'd come into this house with only a small bag of what must have been only clothes. Sliding her down onto the mattress was surprisingly easy, and Krillin wondered when the last time she'd slept was. Whenever he would ask her how her night was, she'd sneer and say she didn't need sleep like humans did.

The small fighter smiled.

Her hair was parted perfectly straight and to the side, like a boy. The brightness of it always astounded him. Most of his friends had dark hair, and somehow her blonde hair told him that he'd been missing something all this time. Because he couldn't resist, he tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear.

Back in his room, after he'd finished a brief moment of lying on the ground in a collapse of total ecstasy, he walked over to the camera that Bulma had installed. She was sick of finding out news and gossip about her friends' personal life years after the event had happened.

As soon as Juuhachigou had moved in, Krillin had contacted Bulma in a state of hysterical panic. "What do I do, what do I do_, what do I do_?! You have to help me!"

"Ask her out," Bulma told him straight face, proving she had clearly lost her mind between the stresses of her company and child and husband. "She won't kill you, right?"

"She might!"

"Well, then, don't. Oh! Did you hear, Chi-Chi's pregnant! Isn't it amazing?"

And the scientist took his twitching and spasms as a nod.

It would have been fine if the blue-haired woman had continue to talk him down from asking her out, telling him he was insane and had no business even thinking about Juuhachigou in such a way. But instead she would tease him and ask when the wedding date was. Then she would be confused and ask him why he was nodding in agreement about.

Bulma just didn't seem to think the blonde's presence was a huge, life changing event.

"She didn't flinch when she handed me the salt shaker. Our hands touched and everything! It was amazing!"

"Uh-huh." There was an undignified slurp of noodles as she proved that a Saiyan's eating habits could be transferred through osmosis. "Ask her out then."

"No way!"

"You managed to talk Maron into going out with you. This android can't be too bad, right?"

"She's amazing. But once she caught Master Roshi about to pinch her, and she threw him through the roof."

"Good for her. But Krillin, you need to make a move on her. I'm serious; don't you jabberer and nod at me. If you don't, maybe she'll meet someone else who doesn't mind the whole psychotic cyborg thing."

"I know. But what if she says 'no', Bulma? _What if she says 'no'_!"

"Then you'll just be roommates. A little awkward, but like you said, she doesn't want to move back with her brother. So she probably won't leave."

He rubbed his hands together. Sweat ran down the back of his ear. "I can't take that chance."

And now, they went through the same disagreement that was too apathetic on one end and too fearful on the other to be an argument. They always said the same things, and it was almost comforting.

"Made a move yet?"

"Oh, it's not like that," Krillin assured her. Juuhachigou was safely sleeping in her room like an angel, and he could not taint her vulnerable moment with any talk of baser things, like his love for her. "We're just roommates."

At that excellent moment, Juuhachigou tore open the door. The knob slammed into the wall and remained buried in the soft wood. Her face was demonic, and exactly what Trunks had warned them of. "What _did __**you do**_?! I fall asleep, and you decide to take advantage of me? Is _that_ why you agreed to let me stay here?" There was nearly steam coming from her ears, and Bulma dropped her bowl of ice cream with a clatter.

"You little pervert. I knew you had some pathetic crush on me, but I never thought you'd stoop so low. What else have you done?"

Krillin wordlessly reached up and turned the camera off.


	3. 51 thru 75

Thanks for the reviews/adding of the story to favorites/alerts/and the messages to remind me to finally, finally update.

And if you're familiar with my other stuff, I'm hoping to post a new chapter of Days soon, but the last two chapters are huge. The last one that's almost finished coming in at over forty-five pages and the second to last at over thirty and still needs a huge chunk written.

The final chapter of Heroes will be up very, very soon and so will the next chapter of Grape Soda and Magnets, which will push the prompt list to a hundred and I have at least another hundred prompts in varying degrees of being finished.

* * *

**51. Father**

His daughter was peacefully coloring in a book with a crayon when she sprung the question onto him. For a second, he considered pawning it off onto Juuhachigou, as she'd done when Marron had asked where babies had come from.

"Daddy," she cocked her head, ponytails dangling. "Where's your daddy?"

Hardly any of his friends, as far as he knew, had a dad. Even Gohan had lost his-only Bulma and Chi-Chi had theirs. He'd never really thought about it, or even took notice of it. His mother had died when he'd been young, and as the years passed in the temple, he'd nearly forgotten about her. After the age of thirteen, he'd come to Master Roshi's house, and created a different family that didn't need any blood for a connection.

"My daddy? Well, I never knew my father. But, Master Roshi's been like a dad to me."

"Master Roshi?" Her nose was scrunched up in puzzlement. When Marron thought of the turtle master, it was mostly tied to the man who insisted on watching exercise tapes, played Tea and Dolls with her, and got yelled at by her mother. 'Father' was not the thing to come to mind.

"Yeah," he smiled at her, remembering his awe when he'd first seen the old man, and how much he'd expected to learn from him. "Did I ever tell you about the first tournament I was in, and how he beat me and Goku?"

"He beat Uncle Goku?"

"Yep, neither of us stood a chance against him. You should have seen him when he scared off these Red Ribbon army guys, too…"

**52. Mother**

Her past came in weak flickers of memory, usually when she lease expected it. It came when she was in the supermarket, when Krillin was trying to decide on a head of lettuce; during a movie, with one arm around his shoulders and the other resting not-at-all casually on his leg; in a cold shower in the middle of summer; lying out on a beach chair and watching the tide come in.

Strangely, none of them ever happened with her brother. At most she gets a sense of déjà vu when he'd be behind the wheel of a car and even more so when they were being chased by someone. It's as though with her twin, Gero's attempt to wipe all traces of her past worked completely.

When she holds Marron for the first time, she can remember a woman with pale eyes and delicate features and (_her brother's?_) dark hair. Her teasing smile as she let a cigarette and gazed at a younger Juuhachigou when she'd been addressed by something other than a number, applying makeup over a white vanity. There is no absolute way for her to know who this woman was to her.

But Juuhachigou did, and as she held her child, her sweet, helpless child who clasped her finger with surprising strength, not wanting to let go, she thought about her own mother.

**53. Rejected**

She looked at the passenger seat window, watching the dark-haired figure flee. When she turned the key in the ignition, she reassured herself that she was not fuming. Nor was she hurt. Just a little confused.

Since when did Krillin get to say he wasn't interested in going back to her and her brother's cabin? So what if her brother would be there with a massive collection of weapons? And so what if maybe Juuhachigou had told him that he would be coming back with her and she would not take any refusal for an answer?

But she was not mad, Juuhachigou told herself.

Even as she chased him with the car and nearly drove him down.

**54. Pretext**

There was a game they played, only when they were alone. The others wouldn't have understood. They might have misconstrued her grabbing the side of his face and pulling him close as something romantic. Her true reason, to see whether or not you could still see the six dots on his forehead through his hair, might have seemed even feeble. Even when her hands trailed through his dark hair, just to make sure the old scars were hidden.

And when he leaned forward, indicating that she had something on her face, right above her lip and since his eyes were closing, he couldn't see the napkin besides her. One small hand held up her chin and the other caressed the skin above her mouth. She had to wonder what exactly was there, and if maybe Krillin would believe her if she said he had the same.

But when he didn't move away and she shoved him against the opposite wall and drove her own mouth onto his, Juuhachigou was willing to allow that maybe some of her reasoning was faulty about a few things.

**55. Cold Embrace**

"I wonder," the detached voice asked him, "How it feels to have what your whole life has been about destroyed so easily?"

Juuhachigou, the monster, the horrible monster that was destroying earth, leaned closer to him. When he flinched, the curious smile grew. Machine or not, she was warm. In this desolate grey ruin of a city that was nothing like Kame island, Krillin always seemed to be cold. He swallowed.

_That she'd destroyed, that she'd robbed of people and turned to ash. She killed this place._

He could see every pore on her nose.

She sounded almost concerned. "Aren't you going to answer my question?"

But then he couldn't.

If there was one thing he could definitely swear would never happen, even in a world where Goku died in his bed of a disease, and his best friends were murdered around him until he was circled by a ring of corpses and the earth itself seemed to cry out as it died and turned grey…he could have sworn that he would never sleep with an android, number eighteenth of Dr. Gero's creations.

In the morning she was gone, leaving him wanting to believe it had all been a terrible dream. Absurd, disgusting, to think of sharing a bed with an unrepentant murderous. He was sure, lying there on an empty cot, that it had not happened. He was Krillin, one of the last heroes on earth, and she was a monster that had killed and destroyed so much of what he held dear. Hold her, pull her close to him, hear her whispering something almost sweet into his ears? It wasn't possible. Sacrilege to the memory of his friends, to all those who'd died, to his place as a savior of Earth.

Later, digging through rubble, feeling dust settling into his throat, he'd turned to see her behind him. When he flinched, she smiled. It was a clownish thing, ugly on her pretty face. He just had time to see the blow coming, but wasn't quick enough to duck it. Awakening, Krillin found himself alone, one arm nearly sprained, bruises darkening his face and sides.

And then, later, she had brought him food and made him eat it in front of her, not caring about his bruised jaw. "I worry about you." A sly smile, mocking. Her gift was ashes in his mouth. Juuhachigou, small talking to him while Krillin nodded, and later her leading him patiently to the tiny bed only to be gone in the morning.

He was her pet. She would touch the slow growth of hair on his forehead, petting him. Finding him razors and shaving cream and clean clothes and water for when he would come home, his throat tight from coughing. His days were burying the dead and saving hurt, harmless people and his evenings were spent with the person responsible.

Once, there was coffee being made, dinner clumsily laid out on a scratched table he'd saved from somewhere. Aside from a few rare visits from Bulma, he'd never had a woman here before. He laughed at the sight of her so out of place in his sterile poor apartment, that pouting face, "What, don't you like fish?"

"Oh no, fish is fine. I didn't realize you could cook." Inside, something flinched at talking to her, and talking to her about herself which seemed so wrong. She probably hated personal questions.

Those lifeless eyes were half-lidded and a smirk on that mouth he knew too well. "There's lots of things I can do. Now hurry up and eat."

Was it worse to lay with her, or dine with her like friends? Or maybe the bad part was that he was growing used to it, and worst, looked forward to it. Because, goddamnit, it was a relief from the horror he saw every day. To come to an apartment where someone was waiting for him, sometimes with food or at least a smile and kind touch. Or rough ones, painful pinches and bites that made him pull away as she moved closer, that hideous grin on her face.

But there, there were moments as he helped the survivors, and hate her more than he'd ever hated Freiza. Seeing the dead, seeing her work, his chest would burn like an ember, full of rage and bitterness. So much waste, for nothing. They often didn't even laugh anymore when they killed people, trading smiles for dull looks of professionals doing their job. At least Freiza had felt something as he killed people.

The android, the android that's all she was, a machine a robot…she was like rotting meat being fed to a starving man that made him feel better momentarily only to feel sick later.

He didn't dare ask why she did any of this. Was there a reason? Programming? Was there truly a woman behind all that, peeking out when she was near him? As she would hit him, even, there was more passion in her eyes than as she blew another building apart. They would see each other a few times in the day, her attempted to spar with him by beating him within an inch of consciousness, then disappearing.

A terrible parody of a relationship went on as another month was peeled away: when he finished another day of helping survivors, he'd come home to her making dinner. Having coffee or tea with her or water when supplies were scarce, and they never talked about it. It being of course what she did, or what he did.

Her eyes would be bright with amusement, waiting for him to (snap?) say something. "So, how was your day," had never been more venomous. Krillin nearly laughed, thinking about it. Then weeping as he found himself pinned down in a small cot that was never meant for two.

But then she would come to him, always at night. There were moments where he would just forget about what the day had brought, and only in clear moments as he heard her heart beat and felt the human warmth, he would think, _that hadn't been her_.

Her head on his chest, eyes closed and breathe on his shoulder. Pulling her closer, loving this and her,_ and_ _her_ so much that he nearly wept. _Juuhachigou could never do such a thing._

And always, there were the ghosts of his friends, looking on. Their eyes were black and shadowed. None of them said a word; they didn't need to. Hell, they couldn't say a word. That was the thing about being dead. The point, almost, if you could actually say that their deaths had a purpose. They tore him apart with their silent eyes.

"If my brother found out," her hair a mess, her voice playful. "He'd kill you."

So then there was a new twist to their relationship in the form of even more blackmail. Not just Juuhachigou occasionally tossing him into a wrecked building and effortlessly forcing him in tears to his knees. But now the threat of her darker, even more dangerous and evil twin only added more to his anxiety. If she'd been a simple woman with a protective brother, Krillin would still feel uneasy.

And then, to add to his list of never-ending problems, it wasn't as though he could break up with her. And dating wasn't exactly what they were doing. He couldn't even tell her to leave his apartment, let alone his life. Telling her so would indeed get her out of his life as she tore the reason for him to keep living away from him.

**56. Rivalry**

Bulma called him. Her voice was not franticly desperate, but nearing it. Krillin took the phone one-handed, balancing a bowl of popcorn in the other. His date sat on the couch, looking at him expectantly. He shrugged; you could ignore one phone call, but not the sixteen after that.

"I need help."

"Did another robot go insane and start terrorizing the neighborhood."

Juuhachigou threw him a dirty look.

"God, I _wish_. No, it's Vegeta."

"What, did Vegeta finally go insane and start terrorizing the neighborhood?"

Juuhachigou perked up with interest.

"I _wish_! It's worse. Since he's given up fighting, he's gotten a new hobby."

"Really? Did he take up knitting?"

Juuhachigou laughed and finally muted the movie playing.

"I wish. No, I don't. I'd probably strangle him with a scarf. He's driving me insane. He doesn't train, he hardly eats the way he used to, he encourages the neighborhood kids to play tricks on me; I'm sick of having to hose off eggs on the house! He's been bugging me, ruining my work, and spending too much time with Trunks."

"What? I thought you wanted him to spent time with Trunks more?"

"I thought I did. But now the two are talking in some language I can't understand, and I think they're _mocking me_."

"Trunks is two. He can't mock. He just became toilet trained."

Juuhachigou looked disturbed.

"That's what I thought. But now I don't know. They'll say something, Trunks will point at me, and then they'll both laugh."

"…maybe they are then."

"You have to help me. Somehow. Get his ass back into the training chamber and out of my lab."

"How can I help? Vegeta and I aren't exactly friends."

"He doesn't need a friend. What he needs is a new nemesis."

"Did you really just use the word 'nemesis'?"

"I haven't been able to sleep in three days! I can say _whatever the hell I want_!"

"I don't think I can fill that void in Vegeta's life, Bulma."

Juuhachigou looked even more disturbed.

"He needs someone to taunt him, who can rub his face in something he did, something awful and humiliating and painfully shameful."

His eye fell on Juuhachigou. "I have just the thing."

Juuhachigou looked up at him mystified, and Krillin's evil-tinged grin only made her more curious.

"I'll be right there, Bulma."

He threw down the phone, the bowl of popcorn, then himself before his lovely date. "Please, please, we need to go to Capsule Corp.

"It's an emergency!"

"It's just Vegeta's sanity," the blonde woman dismissed. "I think he can wait until tomorrow."

And now Krillin was torn. Going to argue with Vegeta as opposed to spending the night curled up on the couch with Juuhachigou?

…Maybe it could wait until morning.

On the other hand, having Bulma owe him one would be nice. Plus, Juuhachigou taunting Vegeta over how they'd met would be hilarious. She could mime how she'd thrown him into a mountain cliff and then swung his son from a different timeline straight into his side.

"I promise, it won't take very long. Afterward, we can…I don't know. Maybe go out to get something to eat."

She was still not convinced.

"Bulma will owe us one."

"Oh no, Krillin. _You _will owe me."

And the short man really began rethinking doing this. She saw the doubt, and smiled.

"Fine," she sighed, then turned the TV off. "I will say this about your friends. They make us very normal in comparison."

"Don't they?"

Then he ran to get their coats.

When they landed on the perfectly mowed front lawn of Capsule Corp, Bulma had the hose out and was swearing about toilet paper and her husband. She didn't say a word to them, and because the blue eyes held a particular fury in them, Juuhachigou and Krillin didn't push her. The scientist didn't even ask who the blonde woman was and better yet, what she was doing with her friend. Bulma pointed inside, toward the left side of the house, and the two hurried inside before she could unleash her rage onto them.

Inside, they eventually found Vegeta holding his son. He was not smiling or making face or babbling in baby talk to the toddler, and yet Krillin was still shocked. A crib sat there nearby, and the short man could imagine the Saiyan dragging it into here. There was a remarkable lack of anger in his face. Even when he saw the cyborg, he only became a little more suspicious, but did not throw down his child in denial over having actual feelings.

"What do you want, midget?" No 'baldy' which he had called Krillin, as though the shorter fighter had never grown out his hair. It was amazing, and frightening, this transition.

He couldn't exactly say, 'hey, become a sociopath again, will you? It's pissing your wife off that you actually care and are home now.' Could he?

Juuhachigou, however, seemed to think this adjustment was an awful thing. She was disgusted by his new paternal side. "You're pathetic."

The eyes as black as Krillin's narrowed. "What did you say?" And he didn't even make fun of her mechanical parts. Amazing. Krillin wished he had a video camera set up. 'Watch the once furious Saiyan holding his young,' he would whisper to the camera before zooming in. 'It's like he removed the stick from his ass!'

"You don't really care anymore than you ever did. Or any less," A smirk touched her mouth. "You're just trying to forget that Son is dead.

"And that, you never got to beat him.

"You'll always be second-class to him. How can you compete with a dead man?"

Slowly, Vegeta put Trunks into his crib. His jaw was stiff.

Now Krillin _really_ wished he had a camera.

"What, do you think you could just pretend it never happened just because you're not fighting anymore?

"He's still dead, and you still lost."

Vegeta seemed to be considering something, looking deep into her pale blue eyes with a special kind of loathing. They, Krillin realized with a sudden drop of his stomach, understood each other in a way that their partners never could. These two could understand each others' weaknesses even easier than they could see and admit their own, and that was one of the reasons they hated each other so much.

They were alike in a way, arrogant and cold on the surface, uncaring and reluctant to show any failings they had. Underneath that the love they showed as possessiveness and all that fear hidden even deeper.

Which in turn explained why they'd chosen Bulma and Krillin as partners. These two could never be with anyone like themselves. There was too much self-hatred in them. It would have resulted in a bloodbath. Instead, they needed those who were passionate without killing others, who had a sense of humor, and could mock them harmlessly.

"Kakkarot is dead." Vegeta said shortly. Some tensions broke between them.

"Good. Now focus on being a better father and husband than he was, and move on with your life. Go back to training; you're so weak right now I could probably break your arm again."

Now the familiar vein was throbbing in his forehead. "Get the hell out of here, tin can, before I shove you down one of the woman's trash compactors."

**57. Glass**

He had only been up here to clean the windows.

This they would put on his tombstone.

Below his name, it would read, 'He was a nice guy, and when he went up there, Juuhachigou, he only was there to clean the windows.'

Not to get a peepshow.

If there was one thing he wasn't, it was a voyeur. He didn't even like very much the magazines or videos that littered the house. And that was, sort of, with those people's consent to stare at them. This was something else entirely.

But he couldn't look away, even as the shame tore at his innards, even as the glass began to fog and distort his vision and he carefully had to wipe it away with the cold tips of his fingers.

She was just standing there though, looking down. Only dressed in her underclothes that hid just the necessaries. He'd never noticed how small she was. When he was near to her, she was of course taller than him, but also had a larger-than-life quality that reminded him a little of Goku. Now, when he was free to observe her without her knowledge, he could see the delicate, breakable shoulder blades and the jutting knobs in her back.

Krillin wanted to comfort her, but if she so much as turned around to see him, she would murder him.

Then, he saw that she was looking into a medium sized mirror propped up against the wall.

And then he saw the scars dotting her body.

**58. Masquerade ball**

"Did you really not think that anyone could recognize you?"

"Hey, my face is hidden."

"You are the shortest Phantom of the Opera I've ever seen."

"Still, I _am _wearing a mask." Krillin crossed his arms, and she took a minute to admire how well the white shirt looked on him and that the cape, admittedly, did make him look a little taller.

"You didn't even try to disguise your voice."

"I tried," Then he did a passable French accent that made her start to laugh. "La madame, vous êtes la plus jolie femme à la boule."

"I have no idea what you said. Are you aware of that?"

"Yes." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Les hommes tomberaient à vos pieds pour une chance de vous rencontrer."

"Was any of that good?"

"I think so. I'm not all that sure exactly what I said. But, anyway, what are you supposed to be?"

Juuhachigou shrugged, still mentally trying to tear apart and analyze exactly what Krillin had said in French. "I came in a yellow dress and the people at the front door gave me a yellow mask to cover my face."

"Je n'ai jamais rencontré tel un beau…eh, what are you supposed to be exactly?"

"I'm not sure. It's very sparkly, though, isn't it?" She turned her face side to side so Krillin could take see all of it.

"I think it's supposed to be a bird?"

"Damnit." She started to take it off, until he reached out and grasped her hands. "What?"

"You can't take it off now. The unveiling is at midnight."

"So what?"

"It means," the short man said patiently. Was he wearing aftershave? "That you can't take off your make yet."

"Fine." She huffed and shoved him away. "Why did you drag me away?" It had been quite a surprise to feel a small hand reach out to touch her arm, then pull her out of the crowded living room. She'd nearly hit the person who'd been so presumptuous, then once she saw who it was, decided to wait until she could make fun of his costume before hurting him.

"That's what I do." Krillin pulled the cape around his shoulders and tried to look menacing. But through the holes in the mask, the blonde woman could see the amusement flickering in his eyes. "I grab woman and take them to my lair."

"Just the one, Romeo."

"Comment un autre pourrait-il vous être comparable, la madame?"

"Enough of that." She leaned back in the couch, stretching out a leg that completely stole all of the short man's attention.

"Fine. Je donnerais n'importe quoi pour être avec vous."

Juuhachigou sighed. "Have your little jokes, little man."

Krillin sighed as well. "Je vous adore."

Just another game, not completely unlike the one she played with her brother when he hid the TV's controller and he would be so coy while she tore apart the house only to discover it hidden under the television itself. Then he would just laugh while the feathers from the torn pillows slowly drifted to the floor and onto Juuhachigou's hair. "So, did you rig up a bomb in the basement of Capsule Corp and are preparing to blackmail me into marriage?"

"Nope. I spent a wish making sure you wouldn't have to deal with any bombs."

"Do you think that's funny?" It was harder to stare him down when feathers obscured your vision, but not impossible.

"You look amazing in that dress." His voice was wistful and in the darkened light, she couldn't make out the emotion in his eyes.

"You didn't say that in French."

"I know."

And then she had to turn away.

"It has to at least be eleven thirty. Shouldn't we join the rest of your friends?"

"Why did you come here?"

"It gave me an excuse to buy this dress you like me in so much." Her voice was touched with playfulness. She was rewarded by a flash of shy delight on his barely visible face. Krillin laughed and moved closer.

"Really?"

"And maybe I was curious as to what you'd show up wearing. I expected something more ridiculous."

She could definitely smell aftershave. "Does that mean you like the suit?"

"It's better than that white one."

He coughed politely, but continued to move forward. "Merci."

"I guess your brother came as well."

"In a stupid looking blue suit."

"I'm sure-"

"It had a cummerbund."

"Ouch."

"Krillin?"

"Hm?"

Juuhachigou leaned forward, until the tips of her feathers brushed against his polished bone white mask.

"Have you ever been kissed before?"

He cupped her chin, and she tried not to flinch at the feeling of his glove. The dark eyes were warm and a touch sad. Juuhachigou could hear his breathe against his mask. "Are you offering?"

She pulled away, aware that her hand was shaking and felt rather amazed at her actions. It was the wine she'd had earlier. "No, I am not."

"Vous êtes l'ange."

"Shut up. Come on," she grabbed him by his new hair and tugged him out the door. "Let's get this ridiculous unmasking out of the way."

"Je peux voir votre caisse de cet angle très bien."

"If you say one more thing in a language I can't understand, I will beat you Krillin."

They could hear people chanting further down the hallway. Then he pulled his hair out of her grasp and positioned himself so he was walking ahead of her. "Ten, nine, eight," he chanted, and since she knew exactly what he was planning, decided to beat him to the punch by pulling off his mask and grabbing him by the collar.

"Juuhachigou," he whined in that annoying as hell voice. "You're supposed to wait."

"…_Three, two, one_…" Everyone chanted, but Bulma was too busy tearing off her shocked husband's mask and trying to apparently eat the face underneath to announce the actual unmasking. As were several different couples who had long since paid more attention to each other than the countdown.

"Its tradition and I wanted-"

"Fait taire." She hissed before taking off her own mask and yanking him upward to kiss him.

**59. Wolves and their prey**

Krillin understood he was trapped by the two twin terrors as they cornered him in the dark crumbling alley. The grey faded stone of the buildings reminded him horribly of a tombstone.

"Hang on, we can talk this out!

"We don't have to be enemies. You don't have to do any of this.

"Why can't we be friends?"

"Oh, shut up," Juuhachigou neatly kicked him in the shins, while her brother drove a fist into his stomach. "Just give us your damn lunch money."

"Never," Krillin managed to gasp. Then the blonde twin was shoving him down to reach into his pockets and make him squeal. When she found the wallet, she kicked him again although this time was across the ass and making him groan and roll onto his stomach. "Here we go." She waved the wallet in Krillin's grimacing face.

Together, they each grabbed half of him and threw the whimpering teenage boy into the dumpster.

Juunanagou waved at the pale, dirty face that popped out of the pile of trash. "I'll see you in gym."

Krillin waved back with one hand, while the other rubbed feeling across his butt. Although his eyes remained on the other lighter twin. "See you in life skills class, Juuhachigou. Remember not to let your brother put the fake baby in the microwave again."

**60. Baby Steps**

When the terrified parents found their child, the first thing they did was breathe a sigh of relief and lean on each other, dizzy. The rollercoaster of emotions was an increasingly familiar thing ever since Juuhachigou had first gotten pregnant months ago and hadn't ceded as the baby grew older. With her brother visiting for the weekend, it only escalated into near hysteria.

"She's fine," Juuhachigou said firmly. As though Krillin had been the only one worried, and needlessly at that.

"How did she move so quickly from her play pen? Did she crawl out?"

"At least she was with my brother the whole time." They looked at her brother's t-shirted back while he slept out in the living room, passed out after a drinking contest with Krillin's old master. The short man shook his head; he had warned his brother-in-law that he couldn't beat Master Roshi.

Then Marron rose, stumbling and uneven as her uncle after he'd had a few, walked over to them.

"Oh my god, when did you learn to walk?"

She just clapped and grinned at them.

The blonde woman cooed at her daughter. "I had no idea you could do that." Then she turned to her husband, nervous. "You didn't know either, right? And that doesn't make up bad parents, right?"

"No, its fine I'm sure. Hey, what's this? Were you drawing, Marron?"

The delight slowly dissipated once they noticed the permanent marker in her tiny, chubby hand that was growing more and more dangerously dexterous by the day.

Juunanagou rolled over.

The two stared at her sleeping twin, at his face with its emblazoned red kitty and sunflowers. They were actually quite well done, and Krillin reminded himself to invest in more art supplies for his daughter. Already he and Juuhachigou had promised each other never to make Marron fight; an artist would be great to have in the family.

Simultaneously, they told each other, "We'll blame it on Oolong."

**61. Go away**

When the perverts hurriedly told her to look at the TV screen, Juuhachigou immediately looked away and stood up.

"No. No, hey, look!"

"It's okay, Juu." Krillin was looking at the television as well. "They're showing the Cell games. I guess they managed to get some footage."

So they watched the shoddy, grainy footage of the end of the world almost happening. Krillin filled them in after the film stopped; talking over the announcers and the bellowing supposed hero who'd saved them all.

"And he swelled up because I guess he really thought size mattered, and Gohan punched him in the stomach.

"And _that's_ how I met Juuhachigou again."

The implications slowly sunk in, and her other roommates looked at her in disbelief. Krillin just smiled at her, his eyes vacant as he played some movie in that empty head that Juuhachigou definitely didn't want to see.

"What does he mean, that's how he saw you again?"

It was odd when death was legitimately a better option that what had happened. Dignity would still have existed had she shared the same fate as her twin. Still though, why should she care what these disgusting two thought? If there was anyone's opinion she gave a damn for, it was Krillin.

The reasoning as to why wasn't entirely clear. In fact, she had a million arguments against caring about him at all. But the last thing she wanted was for the miserable shrimp to think anything bad of her. Perhaps fear, yes, she was okay with that. But disgust or dislike, anything to dim that gleam he got when he stared at her, that was unacceptable.

Juuhachigou looked away again, before getting up and leaving the room.

When he chased her back to her bedroom, she immediately shoved him back down the stairs. "Stop following me around like a puppy."

He immediately bounded up from the floor. "Okay, Juuhachigou. I understand. You need some time alone."

She slammed the door shut.

Then she paced around her tiny room. She wanted to take a shower, but was in no mood to have to barricade the door and search the place for cameras and bugs or holes in the wall. So instead the slim blonde woman flopped onto the bed and fell into an unsteady sleep.

She awoke at two thirty seven in the morning in a cold sweat.

Somehow, it wasn't just Cell advancing on her, or the memory of her brother being absorbed. No, that wasn't enough nightmare fodder for her brain. It also decided to throw in Juurokugou being hurt, and then having his head crushed. Then Krillin being slapped around by Cell's tail before being blasted into a cliff.

_He's fine,_ she told herself. _Krillin is anyway._ _Never been better. Juurokugou is dead and your brother is still his immature, mindless self who right now if probably tearing apart an animal with his bare hands and howling at the moon._

_But Krillin survived. Probably having a nice dream about…whatever it is that goes through that virtually empty head. Puppies. Dancing and singing around a rainbow. Or something. _

_Unless of course, the movie from before got to him. But of course it didn't. Since of course Krillin is such a tough, unemotional man that's so well adjusted and completely jaded when it came to your feelings._

"Damn you," Juuhachigou told the empty room. Then she got up. Then she paced around the room again. She rolled her eyes, painfully, then dug through her dresser to find more casual clothes to put on so he didn't think she was a weirdo that slept in her everyday outfit. Then finding an outfit that didn't hang off her completely to show skin, or one that was tight and might give off just as bad an impression. But then, she also didn't want to show that she cared too much about his opinion. In the end, she rubbed her forehead and settled on a t-shirt and jeans.

Krillin slowly raised the covers, revealing the large liquid eyes that repulsed her as much as they did fascinate her. The short man was the exact opposite of her and her brother, and reminded her of nothing that was not placed in her head by Gero. "It's okay. I had nightmares too."

Of course, he was wearing the dorkiest matching pajama set. And waiting for her.

"Damn you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" His face was perfectly guileless. Take or leave it. If she wanted to talk, then fine. If she wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, that was okay too.

"No, I don't."

He stared down at her feet, eyes moving in small trapped circles. "That's okay."

"I don't remember any of it. The last thing I can recall is being…" She nearly shuddered. "Engulfed by that thing's tail." Engulfed wasn't an exact enough word. Swallowed. Suffocated. Devoured. Crushed. Those were more accurate.

He opened his mouth, and immediately she brushed whatever he was going to say off. "It doesn't matter. It's over with."

Krillin rested his head on the pillow, looking up at her, unconvinced. In the bedroom, bright and cheerful in the daytime, he looked hardly older than Goku's son, Gohan. "If you say so. You can always talk to me. If you know, it might make you feel better."

"It won't."

"Still. If you think it might help."

"I'm fine."

"Well. That's good. But if you ever feel, um, unfine, you can tell me. I'm here to listen. Always."

Her shoulders were becoming hunched and tensed. It was going to be a long night. She saw the future: herself laying in bed and watching the shadows creep up the walls until sunlight chased them mostly away, counting the individual boards that the room was built of, reciting over and over again the books on their shelves and categorizing them by genre and author. Tonight. And then the same tomorrow.

Still, what other option did she have, if she wanted to stay and attempt to sleep like a normal person? To pretend to be normal and whole?

That was her new mission now. And she could do it on her own, without her brother, or Gero or Juurokugou, or Krillin for that matter. Gero, who had twisted her and her brother's lives and bodies for his own disgusting goals, Juurokugou who'd died protecting the planet and couldn't be wished back since he wasn't human enough, her moron twin brother who she could seemingly only fight with nowadays, and Krillin who always looked up at her so admiring, begging for something she didn't understand.

None of them were necessary to her, and that knowledge made her feel much better.

"Good night Krillin."

"Good night Juuhachigou."

…but if that nightmare came tomorrow night as well, she might as well talk to Krillin about it. At the very least, maybe he would start suffering from them and there would be someone else up at night to study the crack in the ceiling and wonder where their life was going in a lonely room at three in the morning.

**62. The past**

Krillin moved his head finally from its resting place on his arms to stare at her, wincing a little when some of the sand blown from outside nearly flew into his eyes. "What do you remember, anyway?"

"What?"

"Before, well, you, er."

She continued flipping the channels from her place on one of the small hard red couches, not sparing him a look. "Had the misfortune of meeting you and your friends?"

"Before that."

"Becoming a cyborg? Meeting Gero?"

"Yeah." When he rolled over to rest his head on his forearms to gaze at her, he looked like a sleepy cat. Had they not been having this somewhat invasive conversation into her history, Juuhachigou might have rubbed his head and under his chin until he laughed.

"It's a little hard to explain." All she had were a chaotic jumble of sights and sensation. Even the exact feelings associated with the visions were muted and mostly…assumed? Now she put herself in those moments, the Juuhachigou that she was today rather than the unnamed young woman.

Her small and with her brother, in some small dark place presumably hiding although from what she couldn't say, and she_ assumed_ she was scared. A young child hiding was meant to be frightened? But she very well could have felt safe, or happy. It could have been a game, like when Krillin would spend time with the half-Saiyan boys and they'd play hide and go seek, but she had no way of knowing.

Her in a mall, and presumably happy since she was normally pleased in a shopping environment. Or pissed/determined, and happy. But maybe she was being forced to a dentist, a terrible one that operated in a mall. Maybe she was going to get braces, or cavities filled, or teeth just plain yanked out?

Her in a dusty, oily garage before a junked out car and almost certainly disgusted. Whose garage, whose car, why she was there and staring down at a rusty carburetor, all details lost. But really, that one stuck with her. Was she fixing a car? Was it her brother's car? A family member's? Her's? A past lover, even? So hard to imagine her life involved a burnt out vehicle in an old garage that might have involved a family member or boyfriend she no longer had. Especially when comparing it to her life now, with the shiny new capsule car resting in a drawer in the living room, her brother the only blood relative she knew, and Krillin, the happy, tooth-rotteningly sweet man who somehow managed to wiggle and charm his way into her heart and bed and wouldn't leave.

Really, they seemed to be snapshots of someone else's life.

How exactly did you explain that to someone? And to someone like Krillin, who already felt so awful for what happened to her.

"Just a few memories, really. Me and my brother as kids. Spending time in the mall as teenagers. Fixing things up around the house. "

**63. Modesty**

As soon as she moved in, she was given first a desperate, pleading warning from Krillin about what his other housemates would do and say, and to please show them mercy. Master Roshi was an old man, he hardly knew where he was, and couldn't be held accountable for his actions. Oolong, now _there_ was a shape-shifting pig with a bad childhood.

The two, suffering from Alzheimer's and haunted from memories of the past or not, showed a marked difference in how they treated her compared to the short man:

He gave her a gift basket full of soaps and lotions, and a small, embarrassed smile that told her he had no idea what to do either.

They gave her underwear, with a creepy, terrible leer that said they knew exactly what they wanted her to do.

After she finished throwing them down the stairs, and shuddering, Krillin popped up to apologize, while they didn't seem to understand what they had done was wrong.

Krillin was kind and patient, and after a while of dealing with doors being opened for her, and porn being locked away, she was less suspicious of his gentlemanly behavior. The cyborg had a feeling that he threatened and blackmailed and beaten the old man into no longer trying to grab at her. Whatever he did, it did help and make her feel more comfortable. Sometimes, even _wanted,_ since she had a feeling that the short man probably enjoyed having her around just to have better conversation than about what was on TV. Sure, they never said much, but he always seemed to enjoy their small talk.

Things were working out fine. Until one average morning when she jumped out of the shower and proved that the rest of today was going to go horrifically.

She stared around the bathroom, then pulled open the cupboards.

"Damnit."

This was the stuff of nightmares. Pathetic nightmares, but nightmares regardless. What made it worse was that she had a feeling that this was someone's direct fault. Not just a matter of forgetting to put the clean towels into their proper place, but deliberately taking them away just before she took a shower. Wait. Timing for the exact moment. There was timing involved in this.

And what further compounded the situation further was that she'd put her clothes into the hamper. The group hamper. There was no way she could wear them now. They had been dirty when she'd put them in, and now they were filthy.

Juuhachigou made a mental note to never ever do that again.

She pawed through the remaining towels. Okay, so she could use a pair of washcloths and maybe one of the larger towels to cover the rest.

'_The rest.' My god, everything is 'the rest!'_

No, this would not work. Horrified, she glanced at the keyhole and was not entirely calmed just because it was still covered by an abandoned kitchen towel that no one dared move. She was damp, even if she couldn't feel the cold enough to shudder, and was uncomfortable. Even in the shower, or in her locked room, Juuhachigou was never quite comfortable naked. There was always a creeping feeling that she would turn around to see sunglass covered face or a snout or big black eyes gazing up at her. And yet, here she was, just walking around the bathroom without anything on but droplets of water and horrified expression on her face.

Again, and again she searched and pawed through the cupboards before giving up. Then, eyeing the washcloths, gave up. The cyborg found the largest ones and after a brief, tearless cry for her dignity, made sure they were pulled as tight on her as possible. She opened the door, and stole a tiny glance into the hall. Her hair hung in wet clumps into her face, and for once she didn't mind it being there. A futile gesture, but the more coverage the better.

Carefully, she kept one arm around her chest, the other clutching for dear, dear life the bottom towel.

The T.V. downstairs was squawking away, and the perverts crudes cheers made her sigh for the first time in relief. They were down here, and she was up here, and therefore everything would be okay.

Halfway on the hallway, she lost the first towel. Juuhachigou stared at it grimly, then nodded. It was gone, but she had to move on. Any stragglers would be abandoned and perhaps collected after everything was done and she was clothed. She just moved her arm to cover more, and tried to remember to breathe and listen.

More silent steps down the hall, past the now familiar painting of a tanned woman in a grass skirt that's full outfit was utterly different from her own. Except that the effect didn't look dissimilar from Juuhachigou's. Another towel fell, a sign of the universe cursing her, and she cursed it back as she heard steps heading for the stairs.

Juuhachigou pulled open the closest door, throwing herself inside, one arm remaining wrapped around herself and she knew without looking that it wasn't enough. The footsteps continued past, and her eyes opened. Then they widened with horror.

Godammit universe. It wasn't _her_ room. She would never have a poster of a race car on her walls. And especially not pictures of girls and posters from musicals either. Was that a band advertisement, was that a print of a famous painting? Where the hell was she?

And then she noticed that she was also not alone. Her arm didn't cover enough, and the lower, last towel was held unsteadily, slipping, in her other cold hand, and she wasn't alone.

And that Krillin had been getting ready for bed right before his newest roommate came rushing into his room, as half naked as he was.

**64. Distraction**

Bulma finished putting in the thirty-ninth light screw in her latest contraption, a beginning training device for Trunks that played music and flash lights and would distract him in the early morning when the coffee hadn't finished being made, when something truly brilliant came to her.

A solution to another problem. Bulma threw down her screwdriver and ran to her intercom for an assistant to immediately bring her Vegeta. And to bring Juuhachigou within twenty minutes of her husband's arrival. If they thought her request odder than normal, the intern did not reveal that fact. The scientist immediately made a note to herself to give him a raise, and told a different intern to write it down.

It was only after she grew tired of fixing another training chamber, broken from either Vegeta's rage, or Juuhachigou's, or her own, when she realized it was too much. She could only take so many homicidal maniacs at her house. At one time. When she was raising a young child that screamed at her when there was no blue Popsicles.

One of these lunatics had to leave, before they dragged her into their cesspit of rage and aggression until her face was regularly contorted with rage, all she could go was insult people, and ultimately she turned into them. It would not due: there was no way she could pull off being a blonde like those two.

Juuhachigou wouldn't just go…Although, to be fair, she had left a few times. But Kami's place was too boring, Launch had a tendency to either scream at her, or want to braid her hair and Tien and Choatzu did nothing to help, and Piccolo spent all his time under a waterfall or in the desert, or babysitting Gohan and Goten with Chi-Chi, who didn't care much for the blonde cyborg. Her brother…well, Bulma wasn't even sure what had happened there. Only that Juuhachigou brought her an unconscious Juunanagou to her, to have an arm pulled back into his socket.

Bulma had thought about giving her a stipend and getting her a place in the city, but after watching her taking a swing at Vegeta, she realized that the cyborg needed someone nearby that could help calm her down. Or at least, when she snapped and hurt/killed them, the other fighters would be able to sense it.

The _other place_ the android refused to even think about going. No matter how many times Bulma told her that Krillin was a nice guy that wouldn't try anything (the truth), and that the perverts weren't too bad and wouldn't dare do anything to her (a lie), Juuhachigou would just give her a cold eyed stare and refuse to listen. But if she thought an occasional needy look from Krillin, and an occasional dirty movie and magazine were bad, Bulma would show her how much worse this place would be.

She talked Vegeta into her lab, and out of his leotard.

When someone came in, angrily asking what she needed now, the Saiyan just froze instead of hiding behind a table, and only made things worse. Juuhachigou looked at the blue-haired woman, horrified. Truly horrified, as though she'd witnessed a man being turned inside out.

The blonde cyborg shuddered, and turned away. "I never want to see that again. Ever. God."

"You know, I hear the South's lovely this time." Above her, Vegeta's face was carved out of stone.

"Fine. You win.…I'll go to…I think I'm going to Kame house for awhile."

**65. Shy**

Her first real job, real legal, tax paying job that she wouldn't be arrested for, was at a bar. The pay wasn't bad, it took up the hours that she otherwise would have spent doing god knows what at night, but it also only made drifting through her classes easier. Through the tired light of day, how much could you care about elasticity of supply, and what this group did to this group a hundred years ago (it was always terrible). She could do well enough, but nothing exactly interested her.

Sure, there were drawbacks. Pushy drunks, and vomit, and spilled liquor and the horrifying bathroom aftermaths. Getting groped by idiots, and people who didn't tip or wanted a complicated cocktail that only the club up the street served right. The music.

But she was no longer hassled by the police, and it was safer here with a sawed off shotgun under the counter.

Still, even when she had would count the wad of cash in her apron pocket as she left the dark grey and black building with its gothic structure and interior, it didn't mean the drawbacks could be ignored. Especially now, as she listened to her brother joking with another bartender in-between exchanging insults with the cook in back. She'd been closer to the mop, and this was her punishment for that. Her hair hung in her face, feeling sweat running down her neck, and as she mopped up the last patrons previous meal, the blonde woman imagined shoving her co-worker's arms into the huge garbage disposal in the kitchen.

When a group of people came in, new or at least she'd never seen them in here before during her shift, Juuhachigou had worked here long enough to know which one would pay, and who would leave a good tip.

The short one with the huge Freudian hair wouldn't give her a dime, but the big happy one would, perhaps not being able to read which was a ten and which was a twenty, and wish her a good day even though it was night. The two bald, humorless ones would give her maybe ten, fifteen percent, and the scarred one might ask for her number. She didn't even care really about a few bucks. Right now, she just wanted a shower and a long nap.

Then someone else came in, yelling at them for leaving him behind to dig through the car for a dime to put into the machine. He just froze, staring at her, and making her wonder how mussed her hair was. When he sat down with his friends, he was silent and kept staring at her. Which made her paranoid, and she wondered if she and her brother had once jumped and rolled the guy. But she couldn't remember robbing him, and his shortness made him stick out like a sore thumb.

But if he had a problem with her, he kept it to himself. Even when he came back the next night, and the night after that, and the following night, never saying a word to her beyond his stuttering order which was always an absurd grape soda. And since she was sure he wasn't a cop on the stakeout and wasn't about to charge her with anything, she didn't say anything to him either.

**66. Dwelling On It**

The thought went off in her head with more strength than any bomb, explosion, and blast that she could have physically done: _ Oh god, I want to kiss him again._

_What?_

_**What?**_

How had that thought come to her? All she'd been doing was staring at the back of his head, bored, and he'd turned to give her a small patient smile that asked for her just to wait a little while longer while he and his friends fawned over the new addition to their gang. Before the bolt of random insanity struck her, Juuhachigou had reflected that it was much better to be near him since he'd stopped acting like a hurt puppy around her, as well as grown his hair out.

_Why would he ever shave his head? So much easier on the eyes now. _

And then, her mind had become momentarily unhinged. Just a little, a crack large enough to let the craziness in. Her stomach had given a twinge and what was that feeling…? It was unpleasant, vulnerable, and she didn't mind experiencing it again.

She wanted to take the thought back. Like a bad move when they played chess; so long as you kept your fingers on the piece, you could move it back. Since it was so clearly emblazoned into her head, she could remove it just as easily.

_I did not think that. No. I did not._

Everyone had a stupid idea every now and then after all. That had just been one of those. It was nothing. She didn't even want to express it again, even paraphrasing it or try to think about what had caused it. Really. It hadn't truly happened.

Then Krillin stood up and nearly made her jump from her seat in the small cheery kitchen. He moved towards her, and she'd never properly noticed the ease of his grace in some moments when he wasn't tripping over his own feet. The small, casually clad man leaned next to her, his shirt very blue, and he was saying "Sorry about this. Did you see the baby? He looks just like Goku!"

His smile was wide, easy and adoring while he thought about his best friend and his new godson, smell the shampoo and condition in his hair, the soap he used on his skin, and Juuhachigou could almost feel the warmth from his body.

Everyone was looking at the baby and the twice-over mother, no one was looking in their direction in the least, no one would see or take notice or care, she could do whatever she wanted to him right now and his idiotic friends would never know, right here. Just pull him down, lace her fingers behind his neck which would soon grow sweaty from nervousness, and just put her mouth against…hell, why not against his?

She could do it right now.

Krillin wouldn't mind.

Her stomach lurched again, and Juuhachigou ignored her sensors informing her of her heightening breathing and faster heartbeat and dry mouth and clammy hands. A five second movie of his scared face as she leaned in, mockingly cheerful and teasing, the soft, unfamiliar feeling of skin against hers, even more exotic since she was not planning on hurt him…

She just wouldn't think about it again. It was nothing. This horrible, powerful, mind destroying thought would be tucked away to be inspected every fifteen seconds, interspersed with staring at him and replaying those short seconds of their first kiss that had warped them both immeasurably.

**67. Apples**

It was a cliché, although neither seemed aware of it. She dangled it before Krillin's eyes, and no snake had ever held such an evil expression.

"One bite," this mysterious, inhuman creature whispered to the closest thing Master Roshi had to a son. "Just one."

"Juuhachigou," Krillin pleaded, pulling away. Even her name was just another sign of her inhumanity. Not a name, a _number_. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's the last one. And Oolong called dibs on it."

Her smile was cheeky. "I would have thought the pig would avoid having an apple in his mouth. Someone might get ideas."

"Juu," But as awful as hearing her assigned number on the short man's lips, this nickname was worse. "He apologized for before."

"Only after I threatened to make a bacon cheeseburger out of him." The android leaned in much too close to him, still holding the red fruit before his face. "You know you want it."

The old Martial Artist had tried numerous times to talk sense into Krillin. He tried to bring up the three years spent training for their arrival, the way they'd defeated his friends without breaking a sweat, and Krillin had only sighed like a schoolboy in love. "You should have seen how amazing she looked when she beat Vegeta up."

He expressed his doubts about her emotions, what she could feel, how his friends would react if he told them that he was seeing one of the murderous androids that had wiped out most of the population in a different timeline. The turtle master stony gaze was met with Krillin's eyes widening with amazement, "You think she would want to date me? _Really_?"

You couldn't reason with that.

Then he went onto list her flaws, straight out. "She's mean, she will never respect you, she can hurt you without a single thing, don't you think you should find someone who shares your values?"

And wouldn't he want a woman who wasn't so skinny and would have a nicer ass, and bigger hips than a twelve-year old boy?

Which actually got a reaction from Krillin. He stared at his Master with huge eyes. "You don't think Juuhachigou is beautiful."

Roshi shrugged. "Her chest is okay. But don't you think she's a little too pale? A little spooky eyed?"

"No," he shook his head, wide-eyed. It was as though the old man had revealed that he thought the earth was flat. Bizarre, and so crazy that you couldn't attack this belief. "She's easily the most amazing woman I've ever met.

"Her forehead is too big." And Krillin pulled back, as though scandalized.

"You did not just say that."

And then Krillin had stomped away, still shocked. The retired Martial Artist hadn't seen the boy again until the following day when Juuhachigou had stopped by. The happy grin that erupted on the short fighter's face, the one pupil that had remained, when he heard a polite, mocking knock on the door reminded Roshi that he was losing him to her literally steely grasp. He'd nearly wagged a tail in delight over seeing her again.

"Just eat the damn apple." Her own odd way of stirring up tension here, and establishing control over Krillin.

But Krillin resisted, and Master Roshi felt a surge of pride. "No thanks Juu. I don't want to make Oolong mad. He might hide under my bed, then wait until I'm asleep and then transform into a Minotaur. Again."

"You could always buy another mattress. Or have someone look under there for you." Her tone was slightly arched. Bless the boy for not realizing that, since Krillin did not turn red and have a stroke.

Personally, _he_ felt a little ill.

She looked attractive enough, albeit a little cold, if you just met or saw a picture of her. If you knew what was under the clear skin and pale eyes, you'd run away and hope she didn't shoot you in the back. So long as you weren't a sweet, kind, short man who had bad luck with woman, and an unhappy childhood that left you desperate for someone to care, that was.

But Krillin was waving her hand away.

"Fine." She sighed, but her voice contained a timbre of humor. "But eventually I'll get you to eat fruit."

Master Roshi straightened his magazine with a humph.

"Well, if that's what you want," the boy was smiling. Carefully, he clasped Juuhachigou's hand and led her into the kitchen. "I think there are some strawberries in the back of the crisper."

As they left the room, the hermit had a feeling that she was mentally sticking her tongue out at him and waving a middle finger.

**68. Fairy Tale**

After opening the red-emblazed windows, she threw another pebble at the tree, trying to judge exactly how far it was. In a few years, maybe the branches would outstretch for enough for her to safely jump for it.

Just a few more years. Ten, maybe twenty.

Juuhachigou tore down another tapestry with one hand and threw it into the fireplace.

The terrible smell of it burning comforted her, and she imagined what this castle would smell like if she set it ablaze. Brimstone. Glorious brimstone and ash. The flames would burn for hours, if not days. And she would dance around it, remembering her long life, the terrible memories, and the awful pink frilly dresses she'd been forced to wear. The ridiculous hats and scarves and the goddamn petticoats and underclothes and the terrible corsets.

"Hey!"

Slowly, she glanced down. Bright, shiny, eye-searing armor glistened, and the owner of it waved at her. He pushed up the helm, revealing a pale face and hopeful, strained eyes. It was must have been terribly hot beneath that armor-the man must have been cooking in it. Why he was going around on a summer day dressed like that, she had no idea. Beneath him, a worn brown horse whinnied.

"Are you Juuhachigou?"

She looked at him for a long moment. "Nope. I think you got the wrong castle."

His mouth dropped. "What? Really? Damnit, I've been looking everywhere and…" Then he glanced back up at her, suspicious. Juuhachigou rolled her eyes. It was painful, dealing with these morons. But it was, as her brother might have said jokingly, in her contract. She missed her useless twin, if only for his ability to scare her would-be suitors off. He could not defeat the dragon, since he had his own 'contract' to fulfill as well as lacking the strength, but he could stand such idiots no more than she could.

"This _is _the right castle, isn't it?"

As though the dotted the landscape, especially this far north. But it was best to play dumb. "For what?" She stared at her fingernails, traced a crack in the heavy grey stone.

"To save the _princess_." An eager grin made him look even dumber. Just another hero with big dreams about winning a princess' hand and a kingdom. And a dragon head to stare at on his wall while putting a well-bred notch on his bedpost.

"You idiot."

"_What_?"

"You're supposed to come in winter."

"No one told me that."

The blonde woman sighed. "Of course not." Now he stood not a chance, and she wondered if this foolish man had any enemies and that were trying to kill him by giant flaming lizard.

He wiped away a layer of sweat. "Where's the dragon?"

She tapped on the crack, wondering if she could jam a candlestick into it hard enough to widen it. Then she could throw the stone at this moron and go back to bed. It was too hot for this nonsense.

Juuhachigou pointed to the left. "Around back. It's the giant green and black lizard that will try to kill you."

"Thank you." He held up a hand as thanks, before lowering the front of his helm, and nudged the old, bedraggled brown horse forward. Then he paused. The knight stared up at her. She couldn't make out his expression at all.

"And the princess…" His tone was oddly gentle. Its patient tone made her realize that he was older than she'd expected.

Juuhachigou sighed. "Is me."

"Ah." He was still looking up at her, and she could hear embarrassment in his voice. Then he glanced down, as though bashful. He shied away from woman more than a horse around fire, Juuhachigou realized, disbelievingly.

_I'll be glad when this one dies. _

_It's just too pathetic. The dragon will be an act of mercy._

But it was rare to get more than a leer and a testosterone driven yell for her hand that was more a demand than a request. Besides, she was bored. "You should come back in the winter. The dragon hibernates then. Of course, you still don't stand a chance. But when it's resting you have better odds of getting a good shot in."

"No," he shook his head, sounding oh so brave. Now she was okay with smelling his charred body in a few minutes. "I'm going to save you now, miss."

"'Miss'?"

"Lady," the knight sounded sheepish. "My lady." He bowed his head to her.

"Whatever." She slammed the windows shut, ignoring his amazed face that was apparent even through the air slits in the heavy steel.

But still, she couldn't help sparing a glance at him. Especially when he led the horse away from the castle. Just as she'd lost sight of him behind the rocks that littered the area, she heard a whistle. Just as she stood up, her brother burst into the room. As usual he smelled of the armory: hot metal and sweat. And horses, unfortunately.

"Gero told me that a group of knights-"

There was a battle cry, and she saw a half dozen armored knights riding past. The one from before was riding with them, and she nearly nodded to him in respect. It was, sadly, a better strategy than most of the ones that had come before. Of course, this threw his claim into question since he wouldn't necessarily be the one to defeat the dragon, but had still talked to her and established that he wanted her hand.

Bad news for him.

She nearly smiled.

But it was irrelevant. Since any second they would be hurtled through the air.

Juuhachigou had no way of viewing the battle. There were no windows facing that direction, in case the dragon ever grew hungry enough to reach for her and somehow became smart enough to find a way to grab her. Which was very unlikely since Juunanagou had thrown stones to tease the dragon, always managing to get away before so much as a hair was singed.

So she was left listening to the yells, the cursing, the threats that were not necessarily directed solely at the monster, the screams of pain, and more threats and cursing. She didn't entirely blame them, it wasn't exactly a festival out there of course, yet, still thought they had a rage problem.

Her brother listened, mouth open, catching her eye every few seconds and grinning clownishly at the particularly thoughtful insults. He moved a shoulder up slightly, asking, what do you think?

She shook her head. Then heard a roar of the dragon in pain.

Juuhachigou settled for a shrug of her own, maybe.

Juunanagou grabbed her arm after another cry from the beast. "Come on, let's go see it!"

Since she couldn't find an excuse to say no, she willingly was dragged along. On the way, she was able to tear down more tapestry and armor that would drive Juukyugou insane.

"Who did this," he would yell, his high pitched voice rising even higher. "It was you, wasn't it Juunanagou!"

"Me?" Her brother would stare at him, innocently. "Never."

And Juuhachigou would smile behind her goblet, noticing how the wine was sweeter when someone else was upset.

On the way down the many stairs, she tried not to trip on her long skirt, and to keep her hopes dead.

Outside, she stared at her 'heroes.' Weirdoes, the lot of them. One of them was as green as the dragon, the rest worse. And the big guy had his arm around a boy, who was looking as out of place as he was bloody. "Way to go, Gohan!"

"Thanks Dad." But he didn't look especially happy, even as he dragged behind a dragon head, and Juuhachigou refused to marry a boy that couldn't be more than ten-years-old. She would fashion a noose. But, the child hadn't spoken to her, and meant that he hadn't sort of asked for her hand since he hadn't made his intentions clear to her. A helpful loophole.

No, the boy hadn't. But the other man…

The _he_ bowed before her, taking off his helm and revealing hair as dark as his eyes hanging into his face. "My lady."

"Wow, you're short."

He froze. "Uh, yeah."

"So…you were the one to talk to me." She eyed him, wondering how exactly it was possible for a man to be born without a nose. "Are you aware of the rules?"

The knight blinked. "Excuse me."

"You weren't the one to defeat the dragon?"

He shook his head.

"But you were the one to talk to me and mention that you wanted a princess." Her disgust was apparent, she wanted him to know how horrible she found him and his friends who'd saved her. The scarred man tugged at the big man's armored shoulder and asked, "So who gets to marry the chick? Krillin?"

The short man froze. Eyes as wide as a boy around his first girl. How could he have been a knight?

Juuhachigou wasn't sure if she should pray that the boy was 'Krillin' or the noseless knight.

Juunanagou finally said something. "Well, I _know_ you have to talk to her before you can marry her."

"Gohan definitely didn't do that." And both the child and Juuhachigou breathed a sigh of relief.

"…Krillin did."

He was better than the ten-year-old, Juuhachigou was willing to give him that. Although no taller than him.

"Princess?" He was resting on one knee, and she nearly ran away back into the castle.

"I just wanted you to know," his jaw was clenched and he blinked sporadically and didn't look her in the eye. "That I will not force you to marry me."

"Good," Juuhachigou said slowly, suddenly aware that he was still bowed as though asking for her hand. There was a catch. There would always be a catch. He did not want to marry her because he was already married and so legally could not take another wife. But oh, he could take that kingdom since he did save her. Then marry her off to one of his bizarre friends, one of whom had a scar like a third eye on his forehead, another with even more scars, a big guy with an idiotic grin, a shorter, furious one nursing a wounded arm, the green one. They were all very tall it seemed. Except for the two short ones.

The big one shook her hand. "Hi, I'm Goku."

Her lips pursed, and her brother exhaled loudly. And then, before they could even say anything to the second part of the contract, the big part that said that they could leave as soon as they killed a goofy-haired moron named Goku, Gero and Juukyugou burst through the door, armed and armored.

**69. Fourth of July**

Her brother, for all his faults, was the reason they all saw each other. He even served as an icebreaker. Or at least, his screams did as he caught abruptly on fire as the bottle rocket Krillin had set off exploded onto his face and clothes.

Bulma's fault really. She'd waggled the 'newly improved' firework before his face while Goten and Trunks cheered and danced around, begging to be the one to set it off. But Krillin wanted to be the responsible adult, and therefore was the one to light the fuse with a grin of excitement as it immediately flew off.

And maybe, it was Bulma's fault as well for saying, oh no, I'm sure using the forest nearby will be fine. It's empty, and you know, a little forest fire might be good. She went onto explaining that some trees could only spread their seeds through catching afire, and so bored, Krillin just nodded and agreed to go into the woods with the boys. Together, they pretended they were doing more than distracting two small children with fire.

But Juunanagou…Krillin could even feel sorry for the normally cold-hearted cyborg as he rolled around and yelled about his clothes and he better still have eyebrows, or he would murder every human on this planet.

Thankfully, he still had them. Although the short human didn't notice that or his exact words as he saw Juuhachigou staring at him. She looked exactly the same, except for her clothes, which were new. She looked quite adorable in her flannel shirt and jeans and boots, like a model from a catalogue rather than anyone who might be camping.

Around them, more fireworks were set off by the small children not far away, them dancing in the bright multi colored sparks, streams of pretty light that left the smell of gunpowder in the air. They cheered, and Trunks expertly flicked another match one –handed, to Goten's awe. A trick he could have learned from either parent, in all honesty.

But, no matter how many fireworks shrieked and exploded, no matter how many sparks showered down and set Juunanagou on fire again, Krillin and Juuhachigou could only looked at each other.

**70. Seeing you cry**

She swore, she hadn't meant to do this. She'd wanted to give the child up, to hand her if not literally over to Krillin who would know exactly what to do and how to handle this tiny person. _He_ could be a parent, with his endless patience and kindness.

Juuhachigou had no business with a child; it was only the thought of the other person responsible for the baby that kept her carrying the infant to term. The cyborg stared at the cheerless yellow walls and wondered what exactly to do. Did she take the child to Krillin, or call him and tell him he was a father and to pick up his infant?

But then, the baby had started to weep.

Awkwardly, still aching, she sat up and stared at it. Large, accusing eyes that matched the father's squinted back at her. Juuhachigou couldn't just let her cry, so for the first time since the child had been born, she held her painfully. Bonding. She definitely needed not to bond with this thing. Even looking at it was literally making her heart ache unaccustomedly. The baby, still nameless since what did Juuhachigou know about names when she herself only had a number, weighed nothing.

A mother should protect her child, shouldn't she?

Did that mean that the baby was safer from her? God knew she wasn't the mothering type, not a true mother even after giving birth...But how could she leave this defenseless thing alone? Her thin flaxen hair covering the delicate misshapen skull only made it look more helpless. No nose. Was that why she was weeping?

Juuhachigou nearly smiled down at the child. The tiny grasping hands and squinting face.

Now that she was holding her daughter, feeling the baby's breathe, hearing the gurgling since she was no longer crying, she couldn't bring herself to put her down again.

**71. Food**

After spending fifteen minutes poking at it, putting it into the microwave and then the freezer again, they just poked at it. It was whitish, covered in a film of blueness and covered in wrapping and resting on a plate covered with frost. This was to be their meal.

Neither was willing to go shopping, even if this was the only thing to eat in the entire house aside from the ice trays. Although married for long enough to no longer keep track, they didn't have a schedule for doing chores. He might go shopping, but this time she hadn't cleaned the bathroom, so didn't that mean that she had to get the groceries.

"I think it's an ice cream cake. Look, that's frosting."

"Oh my god," Juuhachigou said dully. "It's a piece of our wedding cake."

**72. our own world**

"Hey, you know," Krillin prodded her back. "That woman looks like you."

"Shut up and stop checking girls out. What do you want to order?"

"Just a burger."

"We come all the way out here, and that's what you get?"

"I can order what I want. Besides, we have to make it back home before Master Roshi tried to use Marron to pick up girls."

When they sat down, he still couldn't keep his eyes in his head. "Really. She looks like you. Actually, she looks like your brother."

Finally, unable to resist, Juuhachigou stole a look at her. "Eh. A little I guess."

"Uh-oh. She noticed you staring at her."

The blonde woman immediately turned away. "Damnit, Krillin."

Krillin was turning away, picking up his drink and trying to hide his face behind it. "She's coming over, oh crap."

"Oh my god, is that you baby?" The woman was weeping, and running to Juuhachigou. Who just stared at her as Krillin made a choking noise behind his glass.

"Where have you been? My god, _where have you been_, darling? We looked everywhere for you and your brother." She had a lot of pearls and good jewelry, and her suit was an expensive piece of fabric in a fine cut. Her haircut must have costs quite a bit as well. The woman had good taste.

Well.

It wasn't as though taste was necessarily an indication of genes. After all, look at her brother.

"Where have you been? Where's your brother?"

_Oh, in the woods somewhere, howling at a wolf and tearing apart a tree with his bare hands. He can do that, you know, since he's a cyborg. We both are. _

_Are you my mother?_

There was of course nothing she could say.

Across the table, Krillin was wearing a shocked grin, mouthing 'oh my god' as well. "Are you this woman's mom?" He pointed to Juuhachigou, as though she was there, but at best a mannequin.

"Yes," she was sniffling. "I am. Who are you?"

Krillin was beaming, and Juuhachigou could see her future laid out for the next few weeks, if not years. Baby pictures exchanged, embarrassing antidotes, and this woman would babysit and spoil Marron, and adopt Krillin as one of their own.

With her, he would get the mother that he always wanted, and they would make holiday meals together, laughing instead of weeping in a cascade of despair and stress when the water boiled over for the potatoes like he did when he had to do everything alone and was stressed out from all the holiday crap. They would hug in the parlor room, talk about what misadventures their children had done this time, while she sat there holding a cup of tea she didn't want, and Juunanagou got mud from his shoes on everything.

Was her father alive?

She could remember neither of her parents. Her brother probably didn't either.

How would she ever explain any of this? Anything?

What they needed was to excuse themselves, no, sorry, you have the wrong woman, and slip out the back. Bad enough that she couldn't remember this well-dressed lady, and worse why and how she didn't.

"I'm her husband! We have a newborn daughter together, her name's Marron. I have pictures." Never before had Juuhachigou been more annoyed at his tendency to pull out his wallet and show baby pictures than now. He had so many of them, and he refused to remove the one of her, right after giving birth, pale faced and barely conscious of her surroundings and the baby in her arms. Or the one where Marron had spat up on her shirt, and Juuhachigou could only stare at her giggling daughter. Nor would he part with the one of her daughter putting facepaint on her mother's face as she slept in.

"You…got married? You have a child?" Even if she'd never really met her, this woman's blue eyes pierced her. They made Juuhachigou want to say 'I'm sorry' although she hadn't done anything wrong. "Does your brother know?"

"He gave away the bride."

The lady began weeping again, and the blonde could now see the wrinkles that the makeup had skillfully hidden until the ringed fingers had wiped it away. "Your father had hoped to one day do that."

"'Your father'?" Krillin squeezed his wife's arm. "You have a dad, isn't that amazing?"

"And your brother? Your baby brother? He is okay, isn't he?"

"You mean…'baby brother'?" Krillin looked at Juuhachigou.

"He's the younger one," the cyborg sighed.

Krillin grabbed her elbow, and Juuhachigou punched his shoulder. "That's adorable."

Her mother was staring at them both, uncertain. "He is alright, isn't he? He was always a delicate boy."

The short man tugged at his collar. "'Delicate'? Uh. He's got a small place in the woods that he lives in."

"Oh, so he's a forest ranger?"

Both Krillin and Juuhachigou gave each other horrified glances. He managed out, "Yes. Yes he is."

"Where have you been, the two of you? You ran away before, but never for so long."

And there was no reply from Juuhachigou. There was no explanation she could give her. At best, her mother would simply think she was lying, if not outright insane. Her life story was definitely a case of 'you had to be there.' She couldn't explain any of her life to someone who was an outsider, a stranger.

**73. Foot**

Roughly twelve inches of space separate them, and they seemed insurmountable.

She looked at him, torn before relief because on either side of him was Goku and Vegeta, and just a few inches to the left or right was all it would have taken to have gotten one of them. Juuhachigou would have flat out rejected that, and stomped away, and no one would have blamed her. But _he_ was not taken, especially by any of the women in this room that would tear her piece to piece if she dared touch him.

His eyes fell downward, counting out the space again. Chanting, like the swelling of a bee hive, rose in his ears. _Kiss her, kiss her_! There was a gold bangle on her left hand. A pair of black gloves on both hands that were balled into fists. Dark jeans and a darker vest through over a light shirt. When Krillin glanced up, her eyes were too angry to be dead.

In order to make this all end, he needed to lean forward, to rest his weight on his hands, and look up at her. She might move closer, or he would have to come all that way, all those inches, to touch her. It would make everything end, everything. All he needed, Krillin swallowed slowly, was to just avoid landing on the bottle as he moved in front of her, and leave the rest to her. He didn't even need to actually kiss her, just look like he was maybe willing, and if she stomped off, it would be fine.

Juuhachigou already seemed to rightly suspect something.

Her stares when he would ask if she wanted to come over to watch television or help him with his biology homework were already becoming tainted with suspicion. She no longer thoughtlessly would allow him to carry her books when they would walk home together. Sitting on the bus, she was sure to put her backpack in the space between them. Krillin needed to either completely make it clear he only thought of her as a friend, or put everything on the table and show that he was interested in her. Harder to say which was more terrifying.

He had kissed girls before. The lizard, animal brain buried deep inside of him would take over gradually, and he could walk away thinking there was nothing to it. Only, with the blonde teenager, he didn't think he could shut his brain down. With her, he couldn't just calm down and not stare at her, imagining touching her, leaning against her, kissing her, taking off her clothes, and Juuhachigou allowing him. Daydreaming over what if she liked him, just a little.

He could back up. Just get up and act the part of the gentleman. A slight laugh, oh come one, we're just friends and it would be right. They wouldn't talk about it, and maybe tomorrow he would find it within himself to move on and find another girl.

He would leave tonight, nod to her while he jumped on his moped and sped away, hoping he looked mildly cool. When he'd met her, she'd been dressed in denim, punkish despite her clean schoolgirl looks, and on the back of a motorcycle she and her twin shared. It stuck with him, even as he tried to ignore it when he looked online for bikes and settled on a moped as a compromise to his size and need for something more impressive than a ten-speed.

But, no matter what his mind told him, he just remained frozen, looking at Juuhachigou, who had the same expression. They just stared at each other, spooked, frozen, as their friends continued on, groaning and shuddered and refusing when the bottle landed on someone that repulsed them.

**74. Metal**

He was not going to propose to her. The last time he'd thought of doing so…and just the memories made him want to jump up and scream in frustration and disappointment and so, so much relief.

If he had asked Maron to marry him, and she'd said yes, what life would he be living right now? Would they have those three children and fancy white picketed house and cheerful pets that would come in through the fancy doggy door he would install?

And what about when he met Juuhachigou? She'd stolen his heart in one kiss, but was that because he'd been single? Was it just because Juuhachigou was perfect for him? Could he have stayed married to Maron if he had met the cyborg who had thoughtlessly stolen his heart? Would he have even met her, or stayed home to take care of his wife and kids? What if…_he never met Juuhachigou_?

The thought nearly made his clutch his heart.

_Thank god for how everything turned out_, he reflected, looking out onto the sea that he'd once swam in with a blue-haired woman who bounced between being sweet to him, or ignoring him in favor of someone she thought was cuter. The sun made everything glow, and the golden shine reminded him of the very blonde cyborg.

The only time Juuhachigou ignored him was when she shopped. Or was pissed at him, which drove him crazy with frustration and made him want to jump into a fountain like the actors did in commercials for depression medication to get her attention. He wanted to sing to her, to grab her, to have a tantrum and save a bunch of kids to get her to look at him again.

Once, when she'd done this, he'd finally snapped and thrown a snow cone at her which eventually resulted in them, both artificial syrup covered, getting literally tossed out of the fair. They'd laughed as soon as the security guard turned his back, laughed until they'd been in tears, smiling at each other and understanding that everything was okay. Then she started to complain about getting her clothes dirty, and he'd slung an arm around her shoulders and led her back home. Their happy, forgiving kisses on the way to Kami house made him first wonder how he could have ever spent his life without her.

Krillin definitely wanted to spend the rest of his life with Juuhachigou, and planned on doing so. Just without the marriage part. The freedom of not thinking about being a husband was luxurious. Who knew, maybe if Juuhachigou couldn't have kids, he would learn to be perfectly fine without the thought of someday being addressed as dad. Without kids, after all, they would have more time with each other. They would just be together, without any complicated titles that they didn't need. Each other was all they needed.

All his friends with their offspring, and the fights and arguments and snide remarks at the dinner parties because _someone_ hadn't changed _someone's_ diaper, and _someone _was dead and would never have to give_ someone_ a bath. Who needed any of that? A child would be great, sure, but he could live without one. To think he'd once been jealous of that.

They could just babysit, and then come home to a quiet house. Their friends would be grateful and a little envious because at Kami house, no toilet was ever plugged from a diaper.

A drowsy smile crossed his face, just as her shadow fell upon him.

She settled down without a word, although when he rested his head against her thigh, she stroked his hair absently.

"I was just thinking about you, Juu."

"I was thinking about you as well." Her tone was serious, and although he kept his eyes closed, he could see her pushing back a strand of hair and licking her lips. "I went to see your friends."

Now his eyes slid open. A heavy weight, lead, began to drift down to line the bottom of his stomach. This could not be good. His friends, no matter how much he loved them, had a nasty tendency of messing up his love life. The blind double dates they'd set up to sabotage with their fights, the way with one remark they could scare away the few woman who would talk to him, the questions peppered down on any girls that might appear to like him, him, really, why Krillin, why, why why why, what is going on in your head?

"I plan on spending the rest of my life—or rather, you life—with you, Krillin. So we should get married. And," her voice _fumbled_. "It might be good. In the long run for…Since. Since I'm pregnant."

When she took his hand, he was so numb he did not notice the new ring, except for the flash of it in the sun.

**75. the space between dream and reality**

With Juuhachigou, the turtle master didn't dare give his say or no say on whether or not Krillin could date her. There were technicalities, such as Krillin no longer being a fighter, but it really came down to not believing that they were an actual couple. Also, Juuhachigou might have thrown him through a wall had he said anything about her needed his approval.

The boy could be charmingly sweet, but women did not necessarily care about that in a man. Especially one like the cyborg. She didn't even seem the type to allow anyone close to her; let alone stoop so low as to date the man they insulted at every attempt he made to have conversation.

She did however have fun turning his need to be nice to pretty girls into a game. Sometimes she would lean against him out on the beach. And sometimes he and Oolong would hear mysterious noises from one of their bedrooms, and see one of them sneaking out. Eye contract would be made, bold, which turned the other two all uncomfortable. But when they'd find Krillin making breakfast, they chalked the bruises up to late night sparring, and tried not to think about ruffled clothing.

And besides, Krillin never went around with his arm on her, showing her off. "Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend."

Juuhachigou might pet the top of his head like a pet, but that didn't mean she owned him-she had no right to lead him on like that.

Master Roshi snorted as he tossed aside the wedding invitation.

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles up north, Juunanagou fell to his knees, screaming "_No_! I was joking! What do you mean, you_ aren't_ doing this to spite me" as Juuhachigou handed him the wedding invitation with the hundred dollars she owed him for losing the bet they'd met long ago inside.


	4. 76 thru 100

I have at least another hundred more prompts in the middle of being written, so this is definitely not the last chapter.

Thanks for the reviews, putting this on your favorite story/story alert list, and the messages sent to keep me updating.

**76. violence; pillage/plunder; extortion**

"This is, what, the third time you've tried to get money from him?" Krillin's voice was dull, and he was grateful that this time Marron was safely at home. Master Roshi and Oolong had even consented to watching a tape that's woman were only of the stuffed, button eyed kind. He doubted Juuhachigou would ever get her money, but maybe afterward they could go out for a movie so this time alone wasn't a compete waste.

The short fighter could see them getting tickets to some dumb film playing in the middle of the day, maybe that one movie about the cop with split personalities, one was a hard cop a few months from retirement, the other personality a rooky from the streets with something to prove. Then making out with the desperate strength of those who constantly had either a parent or child always at their side.

They would get popcorn and candy, and take so much delight in not having a soon-to-be-sticky child grabbing it away from them that they wouldn't eat any of it. The option of having alcohol would drive them to drinking too much. Eventually the manager, either a young hurried teenager, or a balding middle-aged man would ask them to leave after the other patrons complained about them rolling around on the filthy isle floor.

"Second." her voice was tense. He was amazed she didn't simply jump up and race into the man's room. "You didn't need to come here."

"Look what happened last time."

She snorted. "That was the _one_ time. What are the odds of it happening again?"

"I dunno, Juu. Even when the bad guys are supposedly beat, we still always seem to run into some problems."

"I suppose." She stretched out her legs and yawned.

"How come you aren't knocking down his door?" He leaned against her, resting his head on her shoulders, and realized how true it was that wealth did not equal taste. She immediately pushed him away.

"I want him to open that door, and see me waiting here."

To her credit, she did indeed wait there. So long that she eventually gave in and let Krillin rest against her until he fell asleep. When he awoke, she'd tucked her jacket under his head as a scant pillow, and there were scattered papers and broken figurines and cracked videos that led into Satan's room. Juuhachigou's voice was rising 'you think you can get away with not paying me?' Krillin settled back down to sleep, not awakening even when she finally threw Hercule into the hallway, quickly followed by a bust of the so-called 'world champion' hitting him in the head.

**77. look over here**

When his oldest friend stopped by for a friendly visit, Krillin nearly had a heart attack. It had been a long seven years, in his defense. During that time he'd mourned and moved on, like everyone else. Only to have the big guy around again. The relief was quickly followed by a disserting feeling that instead of him coming back to life, you'd just died as well.

"You didn't piss Chi-Chi off, did you? Because I don't think we have room for you to crash for very long."

"Ha-ha, no, she's fine."

Then they simply beamed at each other, old times again, wasn't it awesome they were both alive? Their hug was immediate, and involved lots of back slapping and laughter.

"Okay, okay, we're going to wake my wife up."

"Man," Goku laughed again. "I can't believe you got married."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean, to _her_. She tried to kill all of us. I mean, Bulma and Vegeta were one thing, but this is just crazy. And you two had a kid."

"Speaking of which," Krillin looked over his shoulder. "Wanna see her?"

The huge smile was a bigger confirmation than words.

When he led his daughter out, she hid behind his leg and stared almost scared at the much taller man. "This is Goku, Marron."

She waved a chubby hand at him. Then turned away shyly.

"Just pretend like she's not even here," Krillin whispered to him.

"Alright," He hid his old boyish smile, carefully stepped around Marron, and the shorter man couldn't resist grinning. He was back. Completely back, not a halo or technicality in sight.

They ended up sitting on the porch, looking out onto the ocean and unable to say a thing. Eventually, Marron ended up sitting between them, looking up at her father, then Goku.

"Do you remember," the spikier haired man started, for once. "When we had to find a girl for Master Roshi?"

Krillin looked down at his daughter with a cautious eye. "Yeah, but we only found Launch."

"She wasn't so bad."

"Half the time, anyway. Remember how afraid I was because those cops had guns?"

They went over what they could recall, feeling nostalgic and embarrassed with every memory.

"…Remember how short we were?"

"…I guess it's a good thing I didn't kill Dr. Gero, huh…?"

"…you really knocked down my ego…"

"…why exactly did Master Roshi want a girl anyway…"

"…I still have that damn stone…"

"Oh, you mean the one you_ stole_? Does your wife know that she married a thief?" Krillin playfully punched Goku in the arm as hard as he could.

Marron was growing bored, even as she perked up when there was violence going on, but was reluctant to leave his side. She was looked too fascinated by Goku's hair to leave. Her mother wasn't up yet, as usual, and so far she was young enough to find her dad more entertaining than the TV set. Especially when Goku picked her up and bounced her on his knee. She applauded him in delight.

"You're so lucky," His infectious grin was oddly thoughtful. "You get to be here, with your wife and kid."

"Hey, so do you. Chi-Chi and your boys are back home."

"Yeah, but…I missed out on a lot. I didn't even know about Goten. You get to watch her grow up." Goku pulled a ridiculous face that sent Marron into peals of delighted giggles. The two watched Marron laugh for a minute.

"I can't wait until Juuhachigou sees you again. She's going to flip out and do her best to hide it. Don't be offended if she doesn't say anything. Or insults you."

The bigger man paled somewhat. "She doesn't like me very much, does she?"

"She was trained by a madman to kill you."

"Well, a lot of people tried to kill me. I'm sure we can bury that hatchet."

Krillin just grinned, with a hint of his old, juvenile, mean-hearted self. "You have to stay for breakfast. And this Sunday, do you wanna come over and come with us to see Juunanagou. You could really help take some of the tension off."

"Really? He wasn't part of the group at the tournament. Is he nice now?"

"When I said tension off, Goku, I meant off me."

**78. Rain**

"You're getting water on me." She couldn't be any older than him, or much bigger, but she looked at him like he was a baby with a nasty diaper.

Krillin fidgeted, playing with the umbrella that's handle was too large for his hand. But he didn't know where to put it down, so he hoped no one said anything mean about the turtles on the front of it. "Where's your parents." He tried to deepen his voice to make himself more adult-like, like the mysterious pigtailed girl dressed neatly in a denim dress.

She shrugged, then turning away as though bored with him. Which only made him want to play with her more. So he sat beside her, watching as she neatly turned another page in her book. She didn't lick the pages or ask him how to pronounce anything like his foster brother did, or even mouth the words aloud.

"My foster dad's over there." He pointed at the wizened martial artist, the shell strapped to his back making him stick out even more.

The girl looked even more disgusted from him than before. "The nasty old man flirting with the teacher?"

"What's flirting?"

She leaned in close to him, her hair nearly touching his face. Her blue eyes were narrowed, and her sharp nose was scrunched up, and that gave him a weird pang through his stomach like he missed a step on the stairs. Girls were weird. So...weird. "Like _kissing_. Adults do it."

"Kissing?"

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes. "You don't know what kissing is?"

"I do so." Krillin moved closer to her, and pressed his mouth against her cheek. Adults did this all the time in the shows that he and Goku sometimes watched, a bag of Oreos between them. He would lick the crème out before eating the dry cookies, while Goku would just shove them down without chewing. By the end of the movie or show, though, their teeth would both be stained black.

She shoved him into a mountain of Legos, plastic blocks, and Lincoln logs. Some of it struck a boy with huge hair that stuck straight up in the arm and caused him to start crying for his father, 'who would sue all of them', while the rest of the kids began yelling. At_ him_, not her.

"You're gross!"

Tears gathered in Krillin's own eyes. "I'm going to tell my friend Goku on you."

"I'll just get my brother to beat you up!"

"Who's your brother?"

She pointed a finger at a small, dark-haired boy who looked like her and wore jeans. He was pouting. Besides him was a big kid with an orange Mohawk, speaking to him slowly and directly, about not hurting other children. It was not alright, the huge kid was telling the smaller one, to bite and scratch people. Especially their faces.

"Which one is your brother?"

Her arms crossed against her chest. "Both of 'em."

Krillin glanced over his shoulder, and watched as Goku finished another bottle of white, sticky glue that made a blue-haired girl gag and cry. A little girl with dark braids run to the teacher to tell on him. Then she went to pat him on the head like a puppy when Goku said he didn't feel good anymore.

Lies were bad, he knew, but that didn't mean that he couldn't say them. 'My friend Goku is a big kid, he goes to the big kid school.' The mean girl would never know.

But then the dark-haired girl told Goku that she would be his nurse, and he said that he hated needles. She told him solemnly that yes, she was going to give him a shot, and petted him more when he started to cry. "It's okay, baby."

The kid with the spiky hair ran up and punched the crying boy on the arm, yelling, "Cootie shots!" And Goku punched him back, in the stomach, making him fall into a tower of blocks and cars that the blue-haired girl who was still gagging, had been building.

"That's him! That kid _over there_."

She huffed. Then turned and walked back to her brothers. Immediately, she and the littler one started fighting over a doll.

_At least I didn't get beat up,_ Krillin turned to the fallen blocks. He looked up to stare at her, at the scabs on her knees and the way she shoved her hair out of her face and yelled at the other kids. Girls were so so weird.

When craft time came, and the teacher found more glue, he made a card with lots of hearts on it in different sizes, a big turtle drawn on the front, and gave it to her.

She shoved his face into a pile of glitter in return.

**79. Welcome**

As soon as Juunanagou saw him, he took aim. It was easy to do, since he was busy gazing at the small, well -built cabin in wonder, and not noticing as the cyborg set his sights on him at thirty yards away.

He couldn't have killed him; but he could have made the midget jump a foot in the air.

Instead, he felt his sister narrow her eyes, staring at the human's back. So he just put his gun down and pouted when she greeted him. Thankfully, her way of greeting him was just a nod. For some reason though, the human lit up from that. He was wearing a stupid hat that made him look like that hunter on the cartoon show that sometimes came in on the TV.

"Why is the porch so high up? Is it supposed to be a balcony?"

"Get out."

**80. Like a virgin touched for the thirty-first time**

They were staring at the newly arrived person in something that was worse than the fear he'd expected. Which was strange, since all they'd done since Krillin had talked about Juuhachigou was warn him how dangerous she was, and to never approach her alone. Now that they'd seen her, however, they seemed to do a one eighty on their stance on having her around.

It was not, however, from her being willing to cook dinner. When he followed their gazes, Krillin immediately tenses up and felt heat spread to his face. His housemates might have appreciated the food, but what they really admired was the view as she bent over to check the oven.

Denim. Clinging.

His brains nearly melted out of his ears and eyes.

Master Roshi and Oolong leaned forward. Their hands were raised ominously. The old man made a pinching gesture. There was a twinkle in his eyes, and it would remain there even as she tore his head off and it rolled across the clean wooden floorboards. Every time they would grope a woman, they seemed to expect something different. As though _this _time, she wouldn't scream and take a swing at them.

Juuhachigou was no fainting maiden who gasped at foul language. She might have even had several boyfriends or even a marriage before she'd met Gero. She'd never told him about her past. It wasn't merely the act of touching her that would set her off. No, it would be that she hadn't given permission...and not that she was incapable of it.

He hoped anyway.

When she'd come here the first time while his housemates were inside, Juuhachigou had dismissed his warnings about them. 'If they did anything', she shrugged almost peacefully, 'I'll just break their fingers'. And she would.

'Don't you dare,' Krillin mouthed. He was met by a pair of devious grins.

'Let's see what you've learned, my favorite pupil.'

'Really? I'm your favorite?'

'…sometimes.'

When she turned around again, Krillin had his throat wrapped around his Master's throat, and his foot on the pig's. Juuhachigou stared at them, at their distressed and guilty faces.

"For god's sake," she mumbled, knowing who was to blame if not exactly what the problem was. "If you keep this up, I'll only give this to Krillin and the rest of you can go rot."

**81. Damsel in Distress**

Somehow, it was hearing Krillin's yell as he was almost certainly blasted aside that told her she was about to die.

Not only her, but also Juurokugou as well. Everyone on this mud ball of a planet was doomed.

No matter how stupid it was, but if one of the heroes, the good guys, was without any help from his friends and being beaten around, it was not a good sign for her.

Of course she'd known since her twin was absorbed that she almost certainly wasn't going to be able to get away. How could her headstrong, invincible, incredibly stupid brother die while she lived?

That all her fighting back was useless.

There is a split second before she threw herself at Cell, and she can see behind her blinded eyes the spastic sparks that rose from Juurokugou's damaged head, Krillin's scream of not being able to watch, the hateful face of the mysterious long-haired Saiyan circling around, the remote being smashed over and over again by her brother's hands or by a booted foot stepping down on it.

**82. Heartbroken**

This was not how he'd expected to finally reveal to another living human being how he felt about Juuhachigou. For starters, she wasn't even here. And he didn't exactly say the words. But they were completely acknowledged in his head.

But Goku just kept his arm around him, and looked at him with eyes that although were green instead of black, were still compassionate. He couldn't say the words, the apology to explain why he was doing this, why everything was his fault.

With Goku, blonde hair and all, he just understood. And instead of yelling at him, he just stayed quiet and let his best friend cry on his shoulder, never knowing that the man by his side had fallen in love with the woman who was supposed to be his assassin. And that he wept not for all the lives that Cell had taken, but for life lost for his friend's almost-murderer.

**83. Isolation**

She found her brother within the hour. Within the next she left him, infuriated.

After another, she decided to come back.

It lasted another nine, and then she was flying away from him and determined to never see his face again. Excepting when she looked in the mirror.

Two hundred more hours passed and she came to see how he was doing. It was not 'crawling back' like Juunanagou claimed. She was just worried about her little, immature, reckless brother. That made her the bigger, more responsible sibling. He should be grateful she cared so much.

Another two and fifteen minutes, and she'd burned down his newly built cabin after locking him uselessly inside.

They didn't see each other for another hundred, and when she came, they didn't do anything but point to what tools they needed as they rebuilt the small house. It was peaceful for six hours and thirty two minutes, then he inquired about her whereabouts when she'd left, and said something about hanging out with '_those _people.'

She denied the accusations for three hours exactly, but already the damage was done, and after reburning down the cabin, Juuhachigou flew away. She didn't need him. And she swore to herself to never come back here.

She lived on her own for two thousand hours, twenty seven minutes, and her will began to slowly waver. Twenty more hours passed and after twenty minutes of the next hour, she felt herself crumbling, but couldn't stand to go anywhere near her brother again. His smug face and clothes that smelled of wood smoke only infuriated her.

Bouncing between empty apartments and houses, moving to another every few days, and she felt like an empty husk. No more could she simply take enjoyment out of insulting people's taste in dollies before tossing them into a fireplace. It lost its charm after the ninth house.

And the thought of being around other people, people who would never know who she was, what she was, had lost all novelty. Right now, all Juuhachigou wanted was to talk so someone who she could complain about her never-ending programming whose yelling never ceased if she didn't concentrate on pushing it back. She wanted someone to spar with, to actually laugh at and who would not think she was crazy if she talked any of her mechanical enhancements.

Her eyes fell shut. "I should have stayed with baldy and his friends."

_Well_, she thought grimly, _I did say 'see you' to him._

**84. Friend**

Krillin held out a friendly pink hand. Perfectly harmless, she knew. With only the tiniest percent of her strength, she could drive this good-natured man to his knees pleading for mercy. And he knew it as well. The fact that he was still here facing her with a smile showed either stupidity, or a braveness she didn't know he had.

So probably stupidity.

"Let's be friends, alright?"

The short man must have caught a glimmer of her thoughts of him screaming, because his smile froze. "We can be friends, right? Friends? We can do harmless stuff together, just joke around, see movies, go shopping, hang out…"

And now his face was becoming that sad puppy dog one. "Right?"

"I don't want to be friends."

He was heartbroken. "You don't?"

"At least, not just friends." She corrected. "Friends who…What's the term…oh, yes, I'd prefer to be friends with benefits."

It was hard exactly how to describe the expression he was making, confusion and disbelief. His hand dropped back to his side. Then he pulled away until his back hit the wall. The muscle under his eye twitched. "Well, I…um. If that's what you want, Juuhachigou."

Her own hidden smile slid from her face. Every time she kept trying to turn his feelings towards her against him, it always ended up backfiring. Almost literally, this catastrophe was so bad. She almost expected to see smoke rising, and wanted to touch her eyebrows to know they were still there. For the first time in what life she could remember, Juuhachigou felt regret, and the urge to bite her fingernails. "What?"

He pressed his index fingers together. Pinkness was rising from his neck to his face. "That's sort of a big step, but if you feel comfortable with it…"

She should have just taken his hand and agreed to be friends.

**85. Yesterday**

"We should talk about what happened."

"No, we shouldn't," she growled.

"I think we should."

"Why should we?"

"Because if we don't," his hands were clenched heroically, determined, but his face was torn between embarrassment and sadness. "It will just fester and spill out somehow."

She turned to him. "Like how?"

Krillin laid out the scenario. "We'll be talking, and then one of us will make a comment about the other just a little too pointed. Maybe on purpose. And then we'll start to argue. First about the comment, then about groceries. Then," his voice lowered. "What happened yesterday will come out."

She looked down at her fingers, then his own. Then she looked away, feeling guilty and sick. Yes, what happened would indeed haunt them, no matter how they buried it deep inside themselves. Juuhachigou thought on that for awhile, and realized how many terrible double-entendres would enter into her mind from now on. Even the word 'enter' now held a sleazy ring to it. As did the few words following it.

The woman sat up gracefully, holding the sheet to her chest.

If there was one thing Juuhachigou was, it was logical. Her foster father had been a scientist, and had made sure she could not do a damn thing unless she had a plan and a list and a backup plan. Somehow, her brother miraculously managed to escape this anal attentiveness. But then half the time he seemed to be running from the cops or just locking himself away in the woods. One day, he would snap and mail bombs to some politician, so maybe it was better to be OCD?

So she listed out the facts of the situation:

…Krillin was her friend, and had made his friends sort of her friends or at least acquaintances. So he was wrapped into her life pretty fully.

…Even more so since they worked together at the same law office.

…She had been feeling a little down lately, as she watched her friends or at least acquaintances' gathering in two's to become couples. Not that she cared. But it made one aware of their empty apartment.

…Krillin felt the same way, but for probably longer.

…A long night at the office, a dinner together just talking, and him walking her to her apartment like a gentleman. Him lingering in the doorway, smiling at her sadly while wishing her goodnight, and she was very aware of the facts she'd collected of him right then. The good ones, even. How his short hair was perfectly dark without a strand of anything lighter, and the nice cheerful smile even when she threw things at him, his thoughtful nature, the square shoulders and big dark eyes.

…And later, after the clumsy, desperate grabbing of each other in the hallways, bouncing off the walls, and shoving the door shut with the weight of their bodies. Him telling her that he'd been desperate for her since they met, and that even when she called to ask him if he wanted to do something that weekend or if he had some paper she needed, he would think about her all day. Her telling him that ever since he'd fixed the copier machine, bending over to refill the ink, she'd been haunted by him and he was responsible for any work she'd screwed up.

She was getting the variables for the equation, but the answer was still not coming at to how this situation had occurred. Yes, _that_ had happened, but how did it come to _this_?

Krillin was staring at her, and she realized she hadn't said anything in a long time.

But she still couldn't come up with anything to say, so she made another list of the consequences:

…Work would become uncomfortable, and their cases would suffer.

….Their friends would have to take sides if Krillin and her's friendship became unstable.

…this would only encourage that crush he had.

…they were very late for work.

Finally, Juuhachigou tried to think of solutions:

…just leave and never discuss it. Maybe we'll break apart like he said. Or maybe not.

…they could just forget everything including work, and just remain in bed all morning. Forget everything.

Maybe she would end up like Juunanagou, she thought as she rolled on top of the gasping man.

But she wouldn't actually mail the letter bombs out. She could just lick the stamps.

**86. Hair**

"My god!"

There was a desperate struggle for the clippers. One that Krillin fought his best for, although he had no idea why he was fighting, or better yet, why Juuhachigou was trying to pry them from his fingers.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with _you_?"

"Nothing! I'm just trying to shave!"

"You were shaving _your head_!"

"So?"

She stared open mouthed at his head. Then her eyes fell on his jar of wax. Her face was twisted in disbelief and understanding. "My god, my god."

"_What_?"

"You shaved this entire time."

"Yes, of course I did."

Juuhachigou then pulled the clippers out of his grasp. "Are you insane?"

"Are you?"

She stared at the shaving instrument in his hands. Then she snapped it in two.

"Hey!"

"You shaved your head this entire time, and you have the audacity to question my sanity?"

Krillin shrugged helplessly. "I shave my head, what about it?"

"Don't ever do it again."

Just before he could argue, she ran a slim hand over the top of his head. "Yes, "she said in an ominous tone although no one has asked a question.

He swore she was whispering it to the tiny hairs sprouting from his scalp. Carefully, Krillin leaned away, trying to ignore the feeling of déjà vu he experienced when Juuhachigou leaned close to him. "You will be _magnificent_."

**87. excessive chain**

This was probably how orgies and swinger parties started, she realized morbidly.

They were not going to become like that. There would be no group sex, or shag carpeting and bad out of style furniture. She would not curl her hair, and Krillin would not grow out his sideburns.

Why did they have to be so competitive?

Why did the door have to be so far away?

It started after a particularly terrible round of truth or dare. She was the youngest person in the room, (and technically, would always be so physically) but seemed to be the only sane, mature one. Even the Saiyan prince seemed reduced to a thirteen-year-old when he discovered he could make Goku drink from the water that had gathered at bottom of the crisper in Bulma's kitchen.

It had started off so innocent. Telling each other embarrassing moments from their youth, then Goku dared Vegeta to comb his hair downward (not possible; he ended up destroying the brush instead), and then he had to take blowing up his training chamber as punishment for not answering the question about how he and Bulma had gotten together.

Goku kept getting dared to eat terrible things that he completely missed what was so bad about them; they all watched in horror when he ate from the cartoon of milk that had turned solid at about the same time Trunks had been born. "What's the problem? Sure, it's a little soggy, but it's alright."

"Goku," his best friend managed out, between his dry heaves. "That's not cheese."

Krillin got asked about his nose (no, he didn't know why he was missing it) and how he'd managed to get Juuhachigou to go out with him. He ran a hand through his hair with a self-satisfied expression and explained, "Animal magnetism." They all laughed at him while he pouted and finally just shrugged and looked at his wife-who remained silent and only shrugged as well.

Chi-Chi ended up taking her hair down and getting her nails painted, an activity she described as ridiculous. "I feel like a little kid." Then she blew on her drying nail and asked if Bulma thought the blue looked better, or if maybe the hot pink was nicer. Goku seemed dazzled, only taking his eyes off her stop shove something else down his throat. Which made Krillin and Bulma, the romantics of the group, smirk, and Juuhachigou and Vegeta, the relatively sane ones, roll their eyes.

Juuhachigou got asked the worst one, at least, until a few hours passed for Goku and the cheese began working: to run to an all night mini-mart and pick up more booze, and condoms. Which she did, feeling her dignity crumble on the walk there, and be completely destroyed by the stares she got in the market. Even the teenage shopkeeper had judged her as he finished another bottle of soda, looking up at her over his algebra book.

They all applauded her when she came into the room, and she threw cans from the six pack at their heads. And about then her past (no, she didn't remember a thing) which bummed the party out until Bulma dared the tallest man to run around the block naked.

Goku energetically began to undress, what was with that man and nudity, while Chi-Chi made scandalized noises and Krillin choked. Vegeta mumbled something about wishing he wasn't there, and Bulma just stared at the tall man. The blue-haired woman did not drool, but her eyes were a little too bright and a smile pulled at her lips.

Her husband gave her such a flat, dead, black look that spelled out '**really**?'

She could not let it go, although it might have been better for her to do so. Even Juuhachigou, no expert when it came to such matters, knew so. Toxic air filled the room from jealousy, and the smell of nail polish. "What?"

"What do you mean, 'what'?"

"Now, Bulma," Chi-Chi's voice sounded so reasonable that they were all suspicious and not at all surprised when it became smug. "We all saw you looking at Goku."

The aforementioned man was trying to convince Krillin, (who was too busy staring at the others to take notice) to help remove his boots.

"I would never do that!"

Vegeta's voice grated on all their ears. "What if I looked at Kakkarrot's woman in the same manner as you did?"

"And how would you feel if I just…just started to look at Vegeta like that? Wanting to see him naked?" She brandished a hand at the Saiyan prince and they all cringed at the mental image.

"Oh my god," Krillin mumbled, started to scoot away.

Goku just gazed at them all, his shirt still off, hands on his belt. "Why would you stare at Vegeta? Because of the hair? The clothes?"

Bulma practically snorted sparks.

"_You _want to talk about clothes?"

"You guys, you guys, let's just move on. Whose turn was it again?"

The hatred turned on the ex-monk. "Oh yeah, says the guy who had a crush on Bulma for years."

Juuhachigou's eye narrowed and she watched Krillin sputter. Vegeta's face became even deader. "I did not!"

"Oh please. We all knew it."

"Look, let's just say that we don't find each other hideous. Can we agree on that?"

The other women looked each other over. Juuhachigou refilled her glass, and hoped that she could make it through this unscathed. She couldn't quite leave yet; curiosity and her husband locked her in place. So she just settled closer to Krillin and watched cerulean meeting obsidian.

They both glared at each other and said at the same time. "No."

"Says the woman who still dresses like a teenage floozy!"

"I've never even _seen_ you in pants!"

"Where do you get off-"

"Hey guys, am I still running around the block?"

"You know," the blonde woman whispered to the short fighter who looked up her with hope. "We could just leave."

But he had to be the voice of a collective consciousness that only he in this room possessed. "Oh, we can't just leave them like this." So instead of fleeing, he twiddled his thumbs and she watched him do so, and they both listened to the rising accusations that filled that air.

"You know," she repeated, scooting over closer to him on the couch, the smooth expensive fabric like silk beneath them. A lamp was thrown and missed them by a scant foot. He jumped into the air, but she didn't even blink when it shattered. "There is a reason why I married you."

"What was that?" Krillin slouched and rested his face against his palm. "Pity?"

"No. That was why I kissed you."

Juuhachigou placed her hand on his face and made him look at her. "I married you because you make me happy, and I wanted to spent the rest of my life making you feel the same. And you're pretty cute."

A robot was thrown across the room, twilling even as it flew if they wanted more coffee.

"And you're becoming better and better by comparison."

His smile was brighter than the bulb that had come flying at them. "Oh, but you do. You make me happier than anyone else in the world." Krillin squeezed her hand and leaned against her. His voice was low. "You're pretty cute too."

They cuddled while Chi-Chi took a swung at Vegeta, while Bulma shoved a confused and half-naked Goku into a wall, shrieking, this is your fault, all your fault, always.

**88. Sick**

"I warned you," she said, looking at the huddled mess under the covers. Had it once been a man with a particularly charmingly manic grin only yesterday?

Shame.

"I warned you to not go out in the rain. Why did you do that? Why dance in it, and for so long? And spinning around a pole before that giant puddle that was so easy to fling yourself into? Why tempt fate like that, Krillin?"

"It's been a long summer draught." Krillin managed out.

"And so you decided to do a reverse rain dance in celebration?"

"Yes."

"Well. I guess that's how you got sick."

"Uh-huh." He looked at her with flat eyes.

"What, I told you not to do it. I didn't push you into that puddle." Her pale face went blank. "I was at least ten feet away the entire time." She poked his smooth forehead, noticing how warm it was. "Try and prove otherwise, shrimp."

"Aren't you going to make me feel better?"

Her expression went dead again. "What?"

"You know," he looked up at her with a pair of sad tearful eyes. Look at his misery, one and all, and despair. "Get me soup? Juice? Another blanket?"

She touched his forehead again. "You feel hot enough to me."

He sighed. "But I'm cold. And hungry. And thirsty."

"You're being a child."

He pulled out one of the only cards he had left when it came to her. "I took care of you when Cell spat you out."

Juuhachigou felt a temple beginning to throb. The right one. "I know."

"You were lying in a puddle of…I don't even know what to call it. It was disgusting. And disturbingly clear. But I picked you up and carried you to safety."

"Yes, you're a big hero! Picking up a woman who didn't even ask for your help out of some spit. That's your big contribution to the fight. Bravo."

"I destroyed the controller for you!"

"Oh, no, you didn't. You destroyed it for yourself. You thought you had a chance with me, that's why you crushed it. Because you thought it would help you get god knows where with me.

"No," Juuhachigou revised. "We both know where you thought it would get you. What's that _charming_ phrase that old pervert used? 'Into my pants'?"

"…I want soup, damnit!" His fist slammed onto the mattress.

"Well, get your own!"

And then, he started to cry onto the comforter. Little shoulders shaking.

So she went downstairs and warmed some damn soup for him. It did sound unpleasant, after all, to have to pick someone up from a puddle of saliva.

**89. Blue**

As he looked up from his plate after someone kicked him underneath the table (probably Juunanagou), he finally noticed that he was the odd man out. Across from him, three pairs of the same blue eyes stared back at him. They immediately launched into a discussion about what types of jeans were the best.

Maybe this was fair, since they were around his dark-haired, dark-eyed friends so often? Fair, and not at all weird.

So he didn't say anything except for them to pass the peas.

**90. Tales of manly perseverance.  
Or the lack thereof.**

"You know what we need?"

"Oh god," Piccolo mumbled, as the only designated sober one.

Vegeta just looked into his glass blurrily, as though the bottom of it contained the answer for why he was even here. For once, he did not even immediately dismiss Yamcha's remarks out of hand.

"What we need, are some girls."

They all just stared at him, in either disbelief or barely with-strained hostility.

"Okay, maybe not all of us." He waved a hand at Vegeta. "But the rest of us need women."

"Why did I come here?" The Saiyan asked into his liquor.

Piccolo just looked at Yamcha for a long time.

Tien shook his head. "I've got a woman back home."

"Chiaotzu?"

"No," The third eye was glaring at the scarred man as well. "Launch."

"Well, fine." His arm slid around Krillin's shoulder. "Just leave us bachelors alone here to go on the prowl."

"Actually, Yamcha…"

"No. No way!"

"I mean, I don't have a girlfriend or anything, but I'm not sure if I want to spend the evening barhopping. And," Krillin admired the amber glow of his drink in the dim light overhead. "I'm thinking of asking Juuhachigou out."

"I don't believe you."

"No, really. I am."

"Do you even know where she is?"

"Yes." He crossed his arms and looked away. "I ran into her earlier and we've seen each other a few times since."

"What do you two do?" Tien sounded morbidly curious. As though expected to hear of some terrible ritual that they were all partially aware of, but never spoke about. Like the others' relationships.

"We spar mostly. Sometimes we talk. Which usually leads to the sparring." He decided not to mention they did this miles from her home that she shared with her brother. His reaction was a wild card, but when Juuhachigou said maybe it was better if he didn't find out, her voice unusually cautious, Krillin believed her.

"Have you made a move on her?"

"I've had enough." The Namek finally stood up and began walking away. No one dared grab a hold of his cape. If they did, their hand would turn to ash.

"You have a duty Piccolo! What would Gohan say?"

He turned, his eyes dark and unreadable. It was dirty to bring Gohan into this.

"Just come with us."

Piccolo's voice was gravel on their ears. "Where?"

"To wherever the androids are," Yamcha's voice was crazily sane and understanding.

Krillin immediately felt like throwing up. "What?"

"No, it makes sense. We can watch Krillin ask the blonde one out-"

There was bile and blood gathering in the shorter fighter's throat.

"And maybe you can spar with the black haired one."

"Too bad the red haired one is dead. Poor guy."

They all stood up to leave. Except Vegeta, who continue to blink owlishly into his drink, and whispered to it, "How did I get here, on this planet, with these people?

"Was it because of all those people I killed?"

"Oh come on. We should be checking up on them. It's not like they really turned over a new leaf of their own will. They're only not evil because if they were, we'll destroy them."

"'We'? And so what are you going to do? Be their parole officer?"

"Well, maybe not _me_." A meaningful look was given to Krillin. Piccolo sighed, and agreed to go so long as they could leave this particular hell.

So Krillin took them to the cabin, which now suddenly reminded him of a story he'd heard as a young child, perhaps from his own mother. Of an evil witch in the woods, and a few abandoned children, and a cottage that looked warm and inviting. There was a layer of frost on the roof, and now it looked like icing, and the brown wood was chocolate.

His friends gave him encouraging looks and thumbs-up, then threw themselves or sauntered or managed drunkenly to stumble into the bushes outside the home. Poor Vegeta really didn't do well under alcohol. He wondered what their expression would be when she turned him down. Screaming at him to get out and away from her.

Krillin knocked politely, hoping that it would make up for his friends being here at maybe two in the morning. In a few hours, the sun would rise and the roof would turn from frosting back into its usual corrugated steel wire and pressed tin, and he wondered where he would be at that time. And how many pieces of him would be found.

When Juuhachigou answered the door, her hair was a mess and she was only wearing an overly large shirt that came her knees. She yawned and rubbed her eyes a few times before she completely realized who he was. Until then she just nodded at his nervous small talk of how nice a day it was.

She leaned against the side of the door, running a distracted hand through her hair. "What are you doing here?"

Her look towards him was almost kind. For a second, he allowed himself to think that she liked him, that she'd missed him and that they got along so well lately that they trusted each other and she was used to him, even at this late (or early) hour. It evaporated as soon as she focused behind him. The patient sleep look disappeared. "Is that Vegeta in those bushes?"

Krillin glanced behind him. Vegeta's hair was apparent from yards away.

Juuhachigou's eye was twitching. She was looking at him with huge eyes, scared and bewildered. For once, he could read her thoughts clearly:_ are they here to kill me?_

"Uh, yeah." He looked down at his shoes, feeling guilty, and wondering which one of them was really the cannibalistic witch.

Her voice was rising, although she was not outright addressing the other arrivals. "Is that Piccolo? And Tien? And Yamcha?"

"Yes," Krillin's voice lowered, became tense. "They came with me."

Juuhachigou swallowed, then looked downward. And again he could read her thoughts_: I wish I was wearing more than this._

"So," he forced his voice into cheerfulness, but instead it came out as slightly intimidating and angry. "Are you free this Saturday?"

"Why?" But her voice was toneless because they both knew the answer.

"Well, I like you a lot, and I want to go out with you?"

What was worse, her saying no, or saying nothing at all for a good two minutes? There was rustling behind him, and when he glanced at his friends, they were pulling themselves out of their bushes, irritated and scratched. They glared at the two on the porch. Juuhachigou froze even more at their pissed off faces. She stared at Krillin, seizing him up and sighing, before saying hurriedly. "Fine._ Fine_. Just call down your little friends."

Juunanagou bounded out onto the porch. He was wearing his black shirt, no white shirt under it, and his underwear. And his green socks. "Oh. Hello."

They all just looked at each other. Krillin wanted to take Juuhachigou's hand for safety, but doing so would guarantee his demise. If it came down to it, he would run for one of his friends. Maybe Vegeta, since his hair stood out the most (Piccolo in particular blended in, and his human friends had mud like war paint on their pale faces), plus the Saiyan could take a hit. Although, he was weaving a little on his feet, so maybe not too many.

But Juunanagou just looked at them. "I've got coffee going, and there's still some frozen deer left. At least, I think its deer. It might be that thing I found on the side of the road, and tried to bring back to life using the stove.

"It worked too. But only briefly."

"No, I, uh," his friends stood up and shuffled their feet. "It's late you know."

"You don't have to go through that for us."

"We're pretty tired."

They started to creep away, pulling Vegeta with them, who looked halfway interested in whatever was in the cyborg's freezer. Krillin took a few steps backwards. "So I'll see you this weekend."

Her hand reached out and tightened around his collar.

"Oh no." Her eyes were steely, and paler than the frost above them. A bad sign. "You're not going anywhere. You're going to explain to me what happened. When your friends aren't here."

**91. Contest**

What happened was, Krillin would later explain separately to a laughing, shocked but completely understanding Bulma and Chi-Chi, a horrified and lazy Master Roshi, a recently married Gohan and Videl to warn them, they got sick of cleaning.

Krillin had been a clean freak for as long as he could remember, even as a boy he'd made sure to put his toys in their proper place. But Juuhachigou was just as likely to leave a jacket on the bed as hanging it up on the rack.

Finally, he snapped, stammering, "You clean up! See how _you_ like it."

"I'm not cleaning up," Juuhachigou said simply. "That's your job."

"Not anymore." Then Krillin stomped upstairs, pushing down a towering pile of dirty laundry onto the floor.

They both wanted to teach each other a lesson. And they would.

Thankfully, this was before Marron had been born. Otherwise, she would have gotten buried alive in a pile of clothes, lost among the discarded socks and shirt, and never seen again. Or eaten by some of the things that grew in the garbage that was never emptied. Or simply crushed by the stack of plates that was never cleaned, let alone dried. Or hit by a fallen chair that leaned against the wall, and was never placed properly into the living room, just lying on the stairs for everyone to trip on.

It was simple at first, when there were still clean things in the house. Who cared about mismatched socks, and there was always another plate to dig out. Eventually, they were reduced to eating food from napkins, using whatever utensils were left, or toothpicks. Bathtubs were never scrubbed clean, and _things_ grew around the drain. Things that you didn't think could come off a human body and grow to resemble _that_.

As much of their will crumbled beneath the onslaught of wearing the same, semi clean clothes day in and out, tripping and barking shins on unmoved furniture and items that were never picked up, using soup spoons for salads and butter knives for eggs, as well as eating dry spaghetti from the box when things grew bad…still they refused to clean.

No matter how crowded and stained the wooden floorboards became, no matter how sticky the sheets and spotted the pillows became, how you couldn't touch anything in the bathroom unless you were wearing gloves, "I'm not cleaning this." And it was only easier when you looked around the house and saw how insurmountably filthy everything was.

Eventually, Krillin told the amazed group that look at him as though he'd revealed he'd been raised by wolves or once had a giant tumor growing from his face, they forgot that they'd been fighting. They forgot it had been _anything but this way_.

"What happened?" Videl asked, horrified, while Gohan just stared_ through_ Krillin, seeing the still clean walls of their home, imagining such a safe place turning into a disgusting hovel.

"Well," Krillin stretched casually, "I was looking for some socks, and stacked the shirts into one pile, and the pants into another."

"Then what?"

"Juuhachigou brought the dishes from the room into the kitchen."

"And then?"

"I brought more dishes down."

"Then?"

"I found more clothes in the rooms and stacked them too."

"And?"

"I helped Juuhachigou clean the dishes."

Bulma had laughed until she almost upset her cup of tea. "So you finally cleaned?"

"Did either of you actually win anything?" Chi-Chi asked, one hand touching her throat.

"Well," Krillin pulled in a breathe. "Juuhachigou didn't go shopping for clothes for awhile, since we forgot what we had. It was like we instantly tripled our wardrobe just by finally doing laundry."

Master Roshi shook his head. "Just don't ever do anything that insane, again, boy."

Krillin just nodded, deciding that it sounded braver and more dramatic if he left out the part about them burning down the house when their housemates were out, and just going out and buying a new Kami house capsule, which they had to pay for together since they both ruined the last house. Holding one another, and glad to be alive, "The next person who wrecks the place, they have to pay for it completely."

It wasn't like they hadn't learned a lesson. From now on, if so much as a penny dropped, they were there, scrambling and fighting each other to pick it up.

"I'll get it!"

"No, me!"

**92. Every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you**

"Why did you do it?"

The scream settled into his throat and came out a weak whimper. Although he could fly of course, he'd been hanging from a vine and looking out onto the upside down valley. There was supposedly an abundance of dinosaurs here that were terrorizing the village nearby and he and Gohan had decided to do their best as heroes to help them. That and to help Chi-Chi to reduce her butcher bills.

This was quite literally the last place he'd expected to see Juuhachigou. And he'd come up with several scenarios as to how he might see her again. They ranged from meeting each other in some classy bar or restaurant, to a new enemy coming to kill them while the gang gained the androids as two new additions to their ragtag group, to stuff like him puking up his guts outside some terrible place that served rotgut drinks and throwing up onto her shoes, to him dying in a fight right before she arrived on the scene.

The vine was growing slick in his grasp.

"Hi."

Her brows furrowed the tiniest bit. Had wrinkles ever been more attractive? He had an insane, suicidal urge to touch the spot between her eyebrows.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"No reason."

Krillin slipped a little down the vine.

He wished Gohan was here.

"So, are you free?"

She became even more suspicious.

"I mean, we're trying to get rid of this flock of dinosaurs (are they called a flock? What do you call a bunch of dinosaurs?) that are attacking this village."

"You need my help to do this?"

"Well, no," Krillin said carefully. "But it would be _nice_ to have some help. So if you're free…"

Her eyes were focused on him, then darting away. "I only came to talk to you."

"We can talk while we help the village."

He slid down the vine onto the shallow cave he and Gohan playfully called their base. Right now, it was empty while they scouted around for any signs of their pray. He did his best not to stare at her, noticing the jeans and long-sleeved white shirt that matched her brother's, the new unscratched boots. Her shoes reminded him of her hard edges, but otherwise she looked younger and more innocent than usual. The fighter was reminded of the almost _punkish_ outfit she'd worn when he met her, and the contrast of it with the more casual clothes she'd acquired later. He wasn't sure which one he preferred on her more.

To say she helped that afternoon would be a gross exaggeration. She mostly just looked at Krillin, tapping her foot and waiting. Gohan didn't seem to mind the extra person, but he would sometimes look up at his friend, asking what and why she was doing here. The short man didn't really have an answer. For him or her.

Krillin thought about what he would say, while a pale blue gaze tore through his back as he dodged an angry t-Rex. _Why did I do it? Do what? _Then he would run away.

No. She would catch him. And be angry. Angrier.

_Why did I do it? Well, I love you. Ever since you kissed me, I've been obsessing on it, and you. I love you more than I've ever loved a person before, more than I ever thought I could. The thought of being near you at all makes me happy, and just the idea of you smiling and being happy would make me do anything. So, that's why I did it. Although I'm not sure what you mean by it. Do you mean the wish, or the controller? Or carrying you back to Kami's place. Or asking you and your brother, (sorry I didn't know he was your twin by the way, that was stupid of me since you look so much alike, which is actually kind of endearing in a weird way) to not kill Goku?_

No. God no.

_Why did I do it? I wanted you to have a normal life and find some happiness._

Yes. Simple and understandable.

_You deserved better than what you'd gone through, and I wanted to help you_. Said strongly, without pity.

Nor did she help clean the dinosaur bodies, or talk to the villagers that were so grateful for their help that they wanted to give them some of their food. And he and Gohan couldn't say no.

She came with them all the way back to Chi-Chi's, although she ducked behind a tree rather than meet the widow. Which was a shame, since Krillin wanted her to meet and spend time with his friends more. Chi-Chi was even in a good mood, hugging instead of berating Gohan for not studying, and she didn't yell at Krillin either. Just smiled and told him where to lug the giant drumsticks. He excused himself from the offer of dinner, not wanting to leave Juuhachigou outside and growing more and more irritated with him.

When he came back out again, and used the hose to wipe off the blood on his shoes, Juuhachigou came out to join him. She poked at the dinosaur, then his forehead. Which, sadly, almost made him fall in a cross-eyed swoon. "You have stalled enough."

"Alright."

But he walked further down, to the river. The grass was getting brown here, but still overgrown. He sat down, while Juuhachigou remained standing. Finally, he managed to talk her into sitting beside him. Crickets chirped nearby, and there was the smell of rain in the air.

"Goku," the name hung in the air. "And I…We came here when we were waiting for the tournament Cell set up, and he told me how important family and friends were. That nothing was more important. For all we knew, we had seven days left to live.

"So that's why I did it."

"What?" She gave a start, moving towards him as though to better make out his words.

"That's why I did it."

Her brow was furrowed. "You did what? I don't understand the point of what you just said."

Krillin sighed. "Life is worth living. Even if you only have seven days. You have to make those seven days count."

Juuhachigou looked even more outraged. "I don't want your sentimental bullshit. I want to know why you did what you did."

"Because I wanted you to have a chance at a happy life. With family and friends."

"Is it because you have a crush on me? Is that all this is?" Her eyes were narrowed in disdain and he could see in her shoulder and hear in her voice relief.

"No! I wanted you to be happy."

"With you?"

"No, just in general. Just happy in general. Everyone deserves happiness." Krillin made a motion with his hands, trying to indicate the entire world, everything. Then he gathered his courage, like ki for a blast, _what do you have to lose_, and managed out, "Especially you."

"And _why's_ that?" Her voice was growing tighter, somewhere between anger and curiosity. He could nearly count the inches between them.

"Well," he was like one of those trapeze artists on the wire, balanced and without a net as a heavy breeze entered the circus tent. He tried to fill his lungs, and there was a weight pressing on his shoulders. The argument from before, all the arguments from before disappeared. "I…are you going to take any of this meat with you?"

"_Why_?"

Somehow, looking into her eyes, the angry face with the white teeth bared, he could bring himself to say the words he'd never said aloud to anyone. "Because I love you Juuhachigou."

There was a look on her face. He had not thought that disgust would be the least bad reaction. But then if her initial shock and horror turned out to not be the end of it, why couldn't her distaste for him not be the worst thing? This _fear _that settled was more terrible. It was the last thing he wanted to see on her exquisite, pale face look at _him_, scared. Coming behind her armed with a controller had been bad enough, but to frighten her because of how he felt, to hurt her with his_ emotion_, was…

"So do you want…?"

She scrambled up, the grass she'd been sitting up around the edges rising, as though perking up. He could hear her breathing, raspy and wild. The she was powering up, white inhuman energy surrounding her, and she didn't look back.

And then all he could manage to her disappearing back was, breathless, "…do you want to take some dino with you?"

**93. Scuse me while I kiss this guy**

Juuhachigou was at a loss for words. She just stared at them, at the shivering, huddle weeping lump that had once been Krillin, and at her smug-faced brother. Once again, and then again, she replayed what she'd just seen over in her head. The blonde woman could remember with vivid clarity the huge, shocked and terrified eyes, the blush, the_ sounds_, her brother looking so pleased with himself to be playing with his sister's toy.

Krillin was making choking, gagging noises, and Juunanagou looked down at him. "Oh come on, it wasn't that bad."

The short fighter reached out for her, pleading for what might have been Listerine. And then to keep her brother away from him. And then something about sexual assault. It was hard to make out his exact words through his crying.

Her twin gently prodded his shaking back. "What? Stop sobbing. I was just curious about why my sister kissed you. What she got out of it."

Krillin's voice rose and they had no trouble making out what he said. "She only kissed _my cheek_!

"And it didn't last_ anywhere_ near as long as that!"

**94. The Man of My Nightmares**

She never talked about what had happened exactly. She'd gone to Bulma once for x-rays and to take a look at her brother's blue prints _(blue prints,_ as though he were one of Bulma's machinery rather than a young man, one that could possess his own thoughts and emotions) once and that had been enough. Juuhachigou had never told him what she'd seen that day.

Occasionally, when neither of he would wonder what exactly Gero had done. And how he'd managed to remove all traces of ki from them. And how he could have possibly hurt them in such a way. From what she had told him about her past, what she could remember of it, they hadn't had any parents. When Krillin imagined them before they'd become cyborgs, they were always, darker eyed and

Occasionally, she would awake them both from her dreams. Juuhachigou would kick out, gasping and sometimes have tears on her face.

She wouldn't speak to him about them.

But it was something he never asked her much about.

**95. You've been outright offensive for so long now**

His seemingly endless patience and understanding began to fray and snap like a rope holding a dinosaur over a cliff.

It was exactly what she wanted. She'd actually dreamed of this moment, when he would slam something down (in this case, a teacup that splashed out and burned his hand, although he still didn't seem to notice it), and screaming at her, telling her everything that had been pent up through a veneer of cracking kindness and what he considered gentlemanly behavior and she considered being a weakling, if not an outright liar.

When Krillin snapped and told her to get out, she would be safe. And she could trust him then, since she would understand him more, and could write him off as another human. He would scream and say something hateful, and she could mentally nod and then go back to her brother, to prove him wrong.

_He _said that the short, bald fighter was a masochist, but one with no spine, and that of course he would just take in all the shit she shoved at him.

_She_ thought that everyone had a line in the sand, a button to push, and that Krillin was just some sad guy that had a crush on her and would eventually tell her to get the fuck out of his house.

Now the time had come.

She'd insulted his bald head and then slipped in a subtle remark about his_ friends _having dates when he seemed to snap. Besides the tea, (which she informed him, was weak and bitter the way he brewed it) being thrown down, there was a throbbing of his veins nestled in his temple. "Are you saying," his voice was thick. "That you have a date as well?"

"Well, no," she looked at her fingernails, admiring how clean they were. "But_ I_ have options."

"Are you saying I don't?"

"I don't know. What exactly do you consider 'options'?"

The eyes staring back at her were bloodshot. "I don't understand."

"Does pity and coercion of desperate, slightly blind girls count as options?"

Krillin stared down at his reddened hand. Then he pointed with the other hand toward the calendar on the far wall. "What does it say on Wednesday?"

"That the perverts, not including you, have plans to go to some bikini contest."

"Ah, so your sight is intact. I think that disproves your earlier point."

She bristled, eyes widening, and her hand dropped to let the cup of tea fall onto the table with a clink of porcelain. "What are you suggesting?"

"Maybe pity was involved, but I did not coerce you."

Juuhachigou nearly slapped him. "Me? What about me?"

"I suppose you forgot about an earlier kiss you gave me."

She sucked in a breath. Anger she believed she was mostly above, at least when it came to humans. Announce, yes, but anger implied that what they said was at least close to the truth. "Oh yes, how could I forget since you took it and ran with it? And God knows that you remembered that, since it was probably the closest you've gotten to a girl."

"I was nearly engaged."

"Was the turtle her seeing eye dog?"

The sound of his grinding teeth was bone against bone. "But you don't deny that you were desperate, or that you count as an option."

"Option," the cyborg hissed out, feeling a strand of hair falling into her face. "Means that you have other choices."

"And once again, you agree that you're one of them."

"_One_! Where are these other girls?"

"Jealous?"

"Stop avoiding the topic. You have no other girls!"

"Other! You said _other_!" He pointed an accusing finger into her face. She nearly bit it.

"Maybe I am desperate! I'd have to be to like you, and your noseless face! And _your bald head and shortness_!"

"Well, someone would have to be a masochist to like you! You're awful to people! To everyone!"

"_You aren't people_! You are a silly, desperate puppy that rolls over for me in hopes that I'll rub your stomach!"

"And that's what you're _into!"_

"I am not!"

"You are an _option_!"

"You don't _have_ anyone else!"

"_What are you saying_?" Krillin yelled, an arm lashing out to knock down the microwave and a stack of plates.

She slapped a toaster into the sink. "I'm saying that I'm the only person to actually stand your shortness and lack of a nose and your shitty clothes. You have no one else."

"You're a brat. You're mean and stuck up and rude to everyone. You think you're better than everyone, even though you snore and have an attitude and are moody and spend too much time at the mall." He had tears in his eyes, and she didn't think it was because of his burns.

Fire was spat out. "You don't have a real family. Your dad took off before you were born, and then your mom died. And even the monks that took you in hated you."

"Your brother scares me. He's weird, _robotic_, and has bad taste in clothes, and I worry that he'll go on a killing spree and someone talk you into joining him. And then my friends and I will have to kill you both."

She couldn't make out the pattern in the wallpaper that Krillin had put in the kitchen. Behind him, it swirled, and drifted out of focus. "This house is terrible. Every room is small, and why would you put a house full of electronic devices and books and magazines on tiny island that makes it so easy to flood the place out? I feel so cramped in here with all of you."

"You have nowhere else to really go. You and your brother have no purpose or place."

"You're thirty, at least, and you don't have a girlfriend, and I still think that you're a virgin."

"You don't even know whether or not you're a virgin, because you don't remember your past at all."

"I'm going to remember _this_," Her face was hot, and the tears coming from her eyes burned the enhanced skin. "And sometimes I hate you, a lot. You make things confusing, and you don't seem to realize that. Because you're too stupid."

His face was warm too, pressed into her forehead, and the arms wrapped around her torso felt stiff. "I hate you too sometimes. When you act like I'm nothing, and I was willing to sacrifice the whole planet for you. My best friend died because of that."

"I wish you hadn't done that. Or gotten rid of the bomb put inside of me. Sometimes I wish that was still in me, because…"

"If anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd do. I fell in love with you because of that pathetic kiss."

"I know," Juuhachigou managed, trying not to sob. Her arm went around his shoulder, pulling him close enough to feel dark hairs press against her skin. "And I was just trying to scare you."

**96. Until the spell wears off **

Juuhachigou was in the middle of doing all the research possible to find out what she was feeling. After determining that it was not exactly a physical ailment (but not exactly ruling that out) since every doctor she saw could find nothing wrong with her, exempting the metal that she would have to claim was shrapnel. What war was she in? Uh, the last one.

Finally, armed with a pair of gloves that went to her elbow, she sat before the computer screen that Bulma had sent over and only Master Roshi and Oolong had ever used. The chair beneath her was wrapped in clear elastic foil.

Personally, she wasn't very fond of the thing; it gave her not bad memories precisely, but a bad _feeling_ she couldn't explain. Maybe it was because of what it was being used for? The desktop background of the topless woman was only another clue of its unfortunate purpose now in its digital life.

Krillin had never used it as far as she was aware. Probably because he didn't want his precious cleaning gloves that he bought being contaminated.

A search engine was found, and she tried not to make a face over its history. Nor did she click on them despite her curiosity. Finally, looking over her shoulder from time to time, she typed in, 'heart racing, breathlessness, inability to sleep, dry mouth, anxiety…'

There was one thing that they had in common.

And that common thread was named Krillin.

_Maybe I'm allergic to him_, she thought nonsensically.

Then she clicked on a link about brain chemistry and, Kami help her, _attraction._

Somehow, this was even more humiliating. Her very body, the thing that had been dissected and improved to make her into the perfect fighter, had turned traitor on her. She read about experiments that had taken place, about how much attraction was buffeted by body language, and with a special kind of horror, recalled the large moments that had taken place without a word:

Leaning down to kiss his terrified cheek, the pheromones that gesture alone must have been exchanged-he didn't have a nose so what about _that_, but then, she wasn't exactly an average person to base these things off _of._

Krillin, armed with a remote, letting it fall, and his boot coming down onto it.

Carrying her unconscious body to Kami's place.

It all made sense, the sudden aggression towards Cell because of his amygdale and the relative aggression it caused when it came to their possible partner, and the input to his cerebral cortex was being regulated to make him have more endurance.

Why did humans have to be so primitive, so animal-like? Better yet, why did she, a superior being, have to experience the same things they did?

It was her damn septal area, the hypothalamus. Because somehow Krillin was able to stimulate (what a word to use) this area of her brain. All the adrenaline, the dopamine…It was humiliating finding this out, if only to find out that Krillin's nasally voice was stimulating her auditory cortex that she wanted to rip out.

And oh god, the more she read, the more horrified she became. Phenylethylamine that her brain dumped out was because of childhood issues and what was lost growing up that she apparently thought Krillin could help her with. Which was completely unfair since by all means he was the immature one. And how and why did he think she could somehow fix his own childhood problems?

The oxytocin that made it so she didn't completely kill the two perverts and made it tolerable to be around his friends. _He_ was the blame for that. And how it was released from his voice, his shy or perfectly friendly looks, or, just thinking about him—which in turn could be blamed on serotonin. Endorphins were why she didn't go upstairs and just murder him right now, because it made her attached to his whiny voice and jug ears.

She would conquer this emotion however. Armed with this knowledge, she would ignore those chemicals racing around in her head. They would not beat her.

Then he came down the stairs, and Juuhachigou immediately close the browser window and felt a bead of sweat run down her temple. Krillin was humming and she peeked around the corner into the kitchen at him. He smiled at her, and she completely forgot about what chemical was released when he did this because her stomach was too busy flip-flopping.

"Are those my gloves?"

"Yes," Juuhachigou looked at them for a moment, avoiding his face. "Sorry." Gingerly, the blonde woman began to peel them off.

He shrugged, drawing her attention back to his face. "It's okay, I don't mind when you use them," Krillin was smiling again.

And then she started to wonder about that vasopressin thing that long standing couples had.

**97. Wedding Plans**

Launch was screaming again, her curly blonde hair looking particularly frizzled, so he and Yamcha escaped to the roof. Below, Master Roshi's lecherous words were interspersed with pleases for mercy and chuckles that ended with a scream and a yelp. Gunfire sounded; a ten gun salute for what was left of the turtle hermit.

They were too tired to do anything but look upward.

"I wonder what Bulma's doing right now."

"Yamcha," Krillin asked quietly, wondering if he was overstepping bounds. "Do you think you and Bulma are going to get married one day?"

His new friend burst into manic, frightening laughter. "I dunno man; it's way too soon to talk about that. Why?"

"Oh, I was just curious." It was safer to not mention his own odd fantasies that suddenly came to him. Of women who instead of being clad in the scant things that the ladies in Master Roshi's magazines wore, were instead clad in white wedding dresses. Gentle, shy smiles or tremulous ones that quivered at the corner, all aimed at their soon-to-be husbands through delicate veils. White silk and white cake. Their friends behind them celebrating and cheering for their union.

He would probably never marry.

At his latest trip to the portion of the wall in his room that was marked uncharacteristically in dark line, he found himself easily below five feet. He continued to shave his head and despite his pinches and prays, no nose every made an appearance on his face. As much as he stared and thought about girls, they never returned the interest.

Not knowing that he was to be married almost thirteen years later, he and his fiancé would burst into identical absurd giggles at their own ceremony that made everyone behind them start to laugh as well. Or that his honeymoon would take place at Goku's small mountain home as they helped his own wife prepare for her new baby, and because of the noise none of them would get any sleep

98**. Abstinence**

She snapped, yelling at his disappearing back as he hurried to his own empty bedroom and leaving her alone and furious and frustrated more than she thought possible. At the moment, Juuhachigou was torn between chasing after him and either comforting him, or beating him into the walls. That, or just slamming her own head into the walls and mumbling curses. "You're not a monk anymore!"

Then she collapsed on the bed with gritted teeth, pants still unzipped, throwing a pillow at the door.

99.** First Impression**

What he saw: A beautiful young woman (how was it possible someone so evil could look so _beautiful_?) who was there to kill/beat up him and his friends, and would do so with little qualms.

What she saw: A ridiculous looking human, (where was his _nose_?) who she would gladly beat/kill up.

**100. ****Concubine**

"Do it for the money."

That was his only given sign of comfort. He wasn't even that hard up for money. But Yamcha had met a girl, and Tien it turned out had many mouths to feed, and didn't want Launch robbing banks for diaper money. Of course, because of these things, they of course couldn't go on stage. What would their girlfriend/wife/children think?

That was why he was behind the stage, curtains hiding him from view.

He got to be a cowboy.

"Go on out there, and make some spare cash."

Why they had even wanted him was a mystery. Sure, he was in as good a shape as the other men here, but they were taller, tanner, had sculpted and chiseled noses on their lean faces. He looked around, watching one of the fine gentleman plucking at his eyebrows. Somehow, he was still more attractive in every way than Krillin; even as he began working on his nostril hair.

Back here, it smelled of makeup and cologne and deodorant, and weirdly, corn chips. The short fighter longing stroked the velvet curtain. It wouldn't remain here for long, or rather, _he_ wouldn't. But now, he clutched it like he must have held his mother as a small, innocent boy that he once was. A small innocent boy that would have dressed as a cowboy during Halloween, and wanted a pony, rather than dancing in just his chaps to a song about a different type of riding.

He stared at them, not seeing a single face clearly. They were all just circles, some different colored than others, but that was all.

There was chanting and cat-calling. Music howled and beat like a drum against his head.

There was only one thing to do.

So he danced. There was no thought process. His brain had turned off, and only animal instinct ruled. The only real thing that came into his head was after he'd pulled his vest off and thrown it into the heaving female crown, and it was: _wow, its cold in here._ Otherwise, he just moved senselessly, even as dollars and strangely,_ coins_, pelted him and fell to the stage.

And then something began to shriek. The only words he could make out, as his legs slowed as his gyrations puttered out were: _oh my god, it's her._

Juuhachigou, and her brother, looked at him from their seats in the audience. Good seats too, not too far from the stage, so there was no way they could miss anything. Now that he knew they were twins, Krillin could fully appreciate their matching expressions of a horror so deep seated they could probably not discuss it until years in the future, and would permanently scar them. This was one of those moments which you could only talk about with a therapist, clutching a tissue in one hand while you rocked back and forth, howling, 'he was _wearing assless chaaapss near the end_!' Which was unfair to them, to all of them really. They'd all be put through so much, especially the cybernetic pair that had turn so quickly and easy on their master.

No wonder why there were so many bottles on their table.

There was equal shame and accusations on both ends, though both were silent.

'What were you doing there, watching men dance around?'

'What were you doing there, on stage, dancing around?'

But because he was the one half-naked, he would be the one that truly had no defense.

Her brother was pale and thankfully silent besides her, locked in a state of horror so deep it was catatonic. He was nearly shaking; his eyes were of a man who'd seen too much. Juuhachigou was the one to say something, her leer only compounding the situation. What's more, the bill she shook that she would clearly make him work for. "Shake it! Show us your-"


	5. 101 thru 126

A/N: Enjoyed reading all your guy's reviews, so thanks for those! And glad jblockk that you like the Juunanagou inclusion since he will be in plenty of other stories.

Also, feel free to submit prompt ideas readers, since I could always use more of those.

And I feel I have to add that I have roughly 154 more prompts in varying degrees of completeness so there's plenty of more stories coming.

'_Trying hard to fit among you, floating out to wonderland, _

_Unprotected, god I'm pregnant, damn the consequence. _

_Watch my temper, I go mental, I'll try to be gentle._

_When I grow up, I'll be stable, when I grown up, I'll turn the tables.'_

When I Grow Up, Garbage

* * *

**101. Twin**

"No, this is excellent, you dope. Didn't you hear her, that guy's her twin brother!"

Juuhachigou's increasingly angry face had killed off any joy that statement might have brought, regardless of Yamcha's enthused shout.

And now, fourteen months after her outburst, Krillin could safely say that even if Juunanagou was her brother instead of her lover, it didn't help much. Instead of imagining them in a lover's embrace, (an image that now made him shudder in revulsion) he now saw Juunanagou whispered in his sister's ear, her seated in perhaps a gold throne and boredly tapping her fingers on the arms, "Really, the midget one?"

She might not have deferred to him, but he had her ear and could influence her decisions. If he wanted to win Juuhachigou's heart, then he would at least need to have Juunanagou not rip his head off.

As little as he knew about Juuhachigou, he knew less about her brother. So when he finally, finally found them after searching and scouring the globe,

He'd brought a gun for Juunanagou, remembering the small laser pistol on his hip (why did he have extra _bullets_ for it?), and a small gold necklace that he'd bought, thinking of his earlier girlfriend's love of jewelry. Krillin hadn't stopped sweating since he'd bought it, not knowing if Juuhachigou would see it as some romantic gesture, and not knowing if he wanted her to.

But, as he stared into a smiling, roughly hewn face that had opened the door, he hadn't realized that Juurokugou have been resurrected, and living with them as well. Behind the large man, he heard scuffling and saw Juuhachigou and Juunanagou rolling around, pinching and punching and pulling on each other's hair. Furniture, homely and already well scratched, tumbled over.

With a polite 'please excuse me,' Juurokugou turned around and yelled at them, sharply, then went to pull Juuhachigou off her brother after they ignored him. She tore a fistful of her 'little bastard' brother's shirt, and managed in a good kick to his face before being thrown across the room.

"Serves you right," Juunanagou yelled, coughing, before Juurokugou scooped him up and threw him into a backroom with a yelp from the smaller man.

And now, as the giant android came back and offered tea and making tiny talk, Krillin had a brief image of Juuhachigou, still seated in a decadent hall fit for a queen, only with Juurokugou bending down to whisper, "Really, he's not so bad."

**102. Music**

Everyone behind him began either to moan in fear, frustration and anger as soon as it was his turn. Which wasn't entirely fair, since none of them could sing. Surely, maybe Bulma could belt out a mournful, saucy theme song from ten years ago, but she was one in a herd of dying cats. So, really why should they complain when he stepped onto the stage

Krillin searched for the right song, one that would sum up anything he felt. She would smile and laugh, and not take it seriously, but maybe later…There had to be something in this catalogue. A thousand songs were at his fingertips with a press of a button, and he could fully reveal how he felt for the cyborg woman who had been roped into being in this bar after they spotted her entering the mall.

Juuhachigou was looking up at him. He nearly dropped his microphone; where had she come from? "Don't you dare," she mouthed. Her perfect mouth whispered threats and warnings.

His finger pressed down on the button.

**103. Cross-dresser**

Bulma was truly a horrible, horrible woman.

They all had known that, deep down. But never before was that such a prominent description. It was like Goku being an alien, or Chi-Chi being the daughter of a king who had horns, or Krillin not having a nose, or (she liked to think) her being a cyborg. Vegeta was excluded: he didn't let them forget anything. When reminded, they would shrug and say 'It didn't really come up,' or something similar.

Juuhachigou and Chi-Chi stared at her, awed and terrified.

Vegeta never had a chance, and when he met the cyborg's eye, she knew that he would have traded years off his life to be back at Gero's lab, being beaten into the dirt by her. A broken arm, a mocking smile, being knocked into his son, all by a woman that was his own height as well as much slimmer. And who made a better blonde. But what was any of that, compared to the state he was in now?

Pink was also an unfortunate color for him.

They were not drunk enough for this, and both the women took a deep sip of their wine while Bulma cackled. She turned to them, a gleam in her blue eyes.

"Now, you." With one heeled foot, she kicked open the mysterious trunk she'd brought out earlier, unexplained. Ruffles spilled out.

There was a brief second of inhaling from the others in the room, oh please, no, please, no.

Chi-Chi reached for the blue dress. "This will look good with your skin tone, Goku."

A darling black little number called out to her. Her grin must have been even worse than Bulma's, at least, to Krillin who went white at the sight of holding up the night dress. His eyes pleaded with her. What had he done to upset her so? Wasn't he a good husband? A good man?

Yes, she wanted to tell him, but that is irrelevant. How could she resist this opportunity?

"Are there shoes to go with this?"

And Krillin struck out with the only defense he had. "If you want us in that, you have to at least do the same and wear _our_ clothes."

**104. The future**

Sometime, perhaps after finding a grey hair on Krillin's head during a sparring match, Juuhachigou found herself thinking about the future. It was all well and good to dismiss her brother's parting shot, "He'll be dead before you age a year," when all the hair on his head was black and youthful. But, even though he sometimes had the sense of humor as a juvenile, Krillin would get older. There would be a day when the grey hairs outnumbered the black ones.

Not just him, but what of Marron. The tiny thing that still sometimes crept into their bed for comfort or warm milk, or to yank at their hair. She would one day grow old as well.

While he slept, she found herself staying up all night, until the room turned golden with the streaming light that meant she could leave the bed without anyone worrying. Sometimes, she would press her head against his back or chest, just to hear his heartbeat. Then she would slip out of the room to check on her daughter.

Instead of finding peace, Juuhachigou found herself playing movies of them from earlier times. Peaceful times that would last only in her head that she was destined to spent the rest of her time on Earth, playing over and over again. Stuck in her own private hell, unable to let go of them because what would be left without them. A certain kind of hell that was experiencing now, with them still alive and young.

_This is what your life will be like without them. _

Eventually, Krillin woke up to her wide-eyed and listening to his breathing.

"Juuhachi? What, what are you doing?" He stared at her, his hair an absolute mess. The round, dear face that she loved even if she would never admit it to said face loomed above. So mortal. The android sighed into his chest. The sun would be up in a soon hours.

"Juuhachigou? You okay?"

Gero might have ruined her life, if inadvertently setting her down a path that would allow her to find a real life and reason to live. He had made her unaging, eternal, old facts that swam around her head and turned day to day life into a parody of normalcy. How could she act like nothing was wrong?

"Krillin. One day, you're going to die. Again. Permanently."

"Um. Okay. Right, right now? Is this because I left the dishes to soak?"

"No, Krillin. It's because you're not an android."

"Uuuuh. Okay." He fell back into the mattress. She caressed his stomach, this body she loved, had and would love, that would grow old and fall apart.

"You and Marron and all your friends will die. But I'll keep going on."

A purgatory she could never have imagined when first being awoken by the doctor.

"All of them. Even that troll. And his screeching wife. And-"

Screeching scientist wife. A sudden epiphany came to her.

"Juu? Huh? You still awake?"

Juuhachigou smiled in the dark at her husband. "I know what to do now."

"Wha?"

"I love you Krillin."

"_What_?"

"After you and Marron die, I'll just deactivate myself. Or blow myself up. Or have Bulma, if she's still alive, create some virus or device to kill me. She was able to create that remote control, afterall. Her, or maybe Trunks."

"What, what? _What?_ That's horrible! C'mon, we're not going to just croak like that. Hey. It's okay."

"Yes. We still have many years together. All of us. I will appreciate that time. Especially in knowing that I won't be damned to spend years without you both."

"Jeez. That's so morbid. I never really thought much about growing old. And you _not_ aging."

With that in mind, a plan, she found her eyes slowly closing. A peace came over her. Juuhachigou felt herself falling into the bed besides her husband, knowing that she was going to have the first good night's sleep in a week. His fingers found their way to touch her hair, stroke her forehead. In the morning, her daughter would be tiny and still struggling with fixing her shoelaces. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, she would get it and grow a little older. Krillin would make breakfast, teasing her with the 'Kiss the Chief' Apron he'd wear, and they might spent the afternoon in their bedroom making love or putting their recently cleaned laundry away or finally cleaning under the bed. Her husband would get grey hair and wrinkles. And Juuhachigou could accept that without any terror.

"Wow. I guess we are going to die one day. Permanently. Together. Or I guess I'll go first. Then Marron. Then you'll follow us. When we're both old.

"God. _God. Damn."_

And now Krillin stayed awake, watching the sun slowly rise while she slept contently, smiling into the pillow for what the future would bring.

**105. Switch**

A little voice whispered in his ear, if this was Juuhachigou, 'you would have thrown that remote away in an instant.'

No! Of course not! I would have…I would have…

But he didn't know, and maybe it didn't matter. Juuhachigou was not before him. His stomach twisted at the thought. Poor Juuhachigou. A wave of hatred for the green-skinned monster not far away rushed through him. She hadn't stood a chance against that creature.

He tortured himself with images of her being absorbed, stabbed with Cell's tail and slowly drained of life force. Her reaching out for help, towards her companions or even for the so-called heroes of Earth to stop this…

But they had failed and now, there was someone else hiding her instead.

Instead of a lovely, perhaps caring, if deep down, woman who had just had a terrible life with little choices before her. But deserving of so much more. Instead of a woman who he thought he was at least infatuated with, who he couldn't stop thinking about and reflecting on, who he couldn't get out of his head and couldn't stop focusing on just because of a small peck on his cheek. One that was almost certainly mocking, but in his defense, it was a nice kiss.

Instead of her, it was her boyfriend.

He stole another glance at his 'prey,' the dark hair; tan handsome features that even now in his torn clothing were still proud and arrogant. Story of Krillin's life that of course Juuhachigou would go for this guy. He'd tried not to think about it, since didn't Juuhachigou kiss him in front of the guy? But maybe that was part of their relationship? She could kiss other guys, and he could kiss other girls.

Or maybe the kiss was nothing more than mocking?

They probably laughed about it later, as they went about doing their nefarious deeds and harming people. But that was probably all Juunanagou's idea.

…It wasn't any of his business. He had to press this button, and shut the android down. Then blow him up, destroy that haughty face, burn the man that made wearing a handkerchief frightening, the guy who had managed to win the heart of the most amazing woman Krillin had ever seen.

Because if he didn't, the world would be destroyed.

The short man saw Juunanagou's face blessedly blank and silent, falling down to be at Krillin's (his nemesis) feet. The big guy wouldn't be able to stop him.

Then he saw Juuhachigou. After all this was through, wouldn't they wish back all the people who Cell had killed? And so Juuhachigou would come back. And she…she wouldn't be happy with the weak midget that had killed her boyfriend.

But he had to press the button. The entire world was at stake, more than a blonde homicidal maniac with a charming smile. He saw himself, holding a globe of the planet that weighed more than any turtle shell ever had in one hand, and the other arm wrapped around Juuhachigou's waist. She winked, and he felt himself leaning more towards her, his grip on the globe slipping.

Now it seemed like he was stuck in some sort of half-assed ("_That was a half-assed shot._") love triangle with two people who didn't give a damn about him. Was it even a triangle? Did the sharks realize that there were bottom feeding fish stuck to their sides?

Could he use this remote? If Juuhachigou was innocent, then wasn't her boyfriend? He didn't even start a fight, just sort of lightly beat the others into submission when they disregarded his earlier comment about staying out of the fight. All three had been willing to go after Goku, Juuhachigou as well. In a way, he was even more innocent than Juuhachigou. She at least had egged Vegeta on and then sorely wounded him.

Juunanagou was just as much as a victim as she was. He as a product of a madman's insane design, just a once innocent teenage boy that now had Kami only knew what mechanical parts and wires.

He saw Juuhachigou leaning towards him, face angelic, expression teasing in its sincerity.

You know what has to be done.

You have to be calm and steady and do the right thing.

Forget about her, she's just an android!

He looked at Juunanagou's unnaturally calm face, just barely noticing the slightest sheen of sweat on his high forehead.

What did she see in him?

**106. Open Door**

Later, staring at her brother passed out in a pile of discarded popcorn, dressed only in his underwear and scarf, a brief flash of her memory came to her.

It was nothing important, or meaningful. Just the Son house, clothes scattered around a small plain bedroom, tables upturned, and looking at herself in a broken mirror inlaid in a half-closed door that led to the closet. But it was not the old-fashioned dress that stuck out in her mind; it was the shards of glass and an old superstition.

Behind her, on the TV, there were still humans chanting, counting down even though the two people in this tiny apartment were already done and finished.

_Seven years of bad luck?_

Juuhachigou stared at her still unconscious brother, at the cheese popcorn staining him, and thought, _six more to go._

**107. Car Wreck**

Juunanagou was smirking again. Determined once again not to screw up, and more importantly, not to look in her brother's direction again, she turned back to the road.

Her hands did not shake. It was simply the vibration of the car. And as to why she wouldn't let Juunanagou turn the radio on, well, it wasn't a distraction that might cause her to drive into oncoming traffic, killing both themselves and the pedestrians that dotted the sidewalks of the crowded street. He just had bad taste in music.

She was a fine driver. Much better than him, no matter how much he showed off with being able to use the turn signal with one flick of a wrist, and swiftly turning rather than waiting until the cars behind them honked.

He had no right to smile as she cursed and tried to remember which pedal was the brake.

Juuhachigou looked at her feet, trying to make out the one on the left. It was the one on the left right? She pressed on the right one, and the car sped forward.

Not that one then. The blonde woman stared back down. Left then? Or, did she have to do something with the parking break. She had put it into the right place, right? And the car was in_ drive_, right?

"Juuhachigou!" Her brother suddenly shrieked, "_Stop_!"

She hit the right pedal.

A body slammed onto the hood of the car.

It wasn't even a jaywalker. He'd been riding a bike, which probably meant he was into the environment, and a good one, which meant that he was a yuppie with a lot of money and could sue her. He even used the crosswalk. He turned his head, and despite the fact that there was a person plastered to her car, she breathed a sigh of relief. The man was still alive.

The bike rider was looking at her, dazed and uncomprehending. Juuhachigou saw him on the stand, the crutches besides him_, '"I was just riding my bike, and she sped up to hit me!"'_

Juunanagou was opening the door.

_'"And her brother pulled me off the car, to shove me into the street, and then they drove off!"'_

The jurors, appalled, would look at Juuhachigou and Juunanagou at their defendant table, both dressed in their nicest clothes, trying to look as respectable as possible. Clearly a mistake had been made; look at their clean shiny hair, no way were they capable of such a thing. "Don't look at them," their lawyer would advise.

Her brother was peeling him from the hood. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think?" His voice was as pained as it was nasally. He was at least six inches shorter than her twin. His shirt was tight, revealing gym muscles and a healthy diet, and, to her further horror, was emblazoned with the Capsule Corp design, a C in a circle. And an imprint of a turtle across the stomach, diagonally, which meant nothing to her, but probably wasn't a good thing.

…Was he missing his _nose_? Surely, _surely_ it had been like that before she hit him, right? It wasn't possible to dent someone's face bad enough to make his nose becoming inverted, now, was it?

"Hey," Juunanagou patted his back, already too friendly. "Aren't you on Team Kame, the bicycle team?"

And he was a professional rich athlete, and now his career was over because of her. Which is exactly what he would tell the judge, the jurors, the witnesses, as tears ran down his round face from round eyes. _'"I had a wonderful life ahead of me, before Juuhachigou decided to go racing down the street without a care."'_

Juuhachigou pulled at the parking brake, while behind them cars honked and beeped and someone rear-ended another car.

**108. Incomplete**

Her brother was her other half. They had no only been designed to be one full unit, one whole person, but they had been born that way. Sharing a forgotten mother's womb and a missing childhood together and then an unknown amount of time together in Gero's lab. Now, as adults, they shared a home, and their bond had never been closer.

When she reached for the sugar, he would scoot the creamer she would use next towards her. He gave her space when she wanted it, and laughter when she needed it. His distractions and cruel remarks helped keep her sane.

Without him, Juuhachigou was lost.

Even their appearance was complimentary, tan where she was fair, dark where she was light. Although, Krillin assured her solemnly, she was the prettier one.

There was the crack in their perfection.

It not only had a name, but a face with a shock of dark hair that matched its eyes.

In this, she noticed she was different from her twin as well. He only seemed to see the humans as lesser beasts, and that was right in some way, but…she had a hard time saying that Krillin was lesser in some way than her brother. In what way was he lesser, besides strength, and maybe height?

Surely, her brother was more important to her.

No logic would exactly explain why and how she found herself seeking and spending her time with Krillin, laughing and moving closer to him. Keeping close to the small human, even as he blushed and pulled back. That when she imagined herself in the future, it always involved Krillin rather than her brother at her side.

It was her brother that was more important to her, wasn't it?

**109. Weapons**

The first thing out of their foster father, the man who had helped raise them, who had brought them up from small children to adults, was "Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair." Then he shook his head, grief written on his worn face. Unlike the last time, he did not rage and slam a fist against a wall before grabbing one of their strung out friends/acquaintances/other foster family members and throwing them either out or in a bedroom to yell at later.

'You know what those two are like! What are you doing, allowing this to go on?'

The Taco Bell wrapped crunched underfoot.

Now he looked at his two brightest, the two he had always expected the most from, the ones he had wanted to succeed more than anything else in the world. He gazed down at them from a great height, with disgust.

"Look at what thou has wrought." The large, grey-skinned man giggled and shook everyone on the couch with him.

"Shut up, Juuyon," Gero barked, stepping around a beer can filled with ashes.

Besides him, Juuhachigou looked at the old man with blurry eyes. Her dirty boots were resting on the coffee table that was already scuffed and tattooed with condensation circles from glasses and mugs and cans put down without a coaster. A pet peeve that drove Gero insane. She was blinking slowly, trying to decide whether or not this was actually happening in reality, or was just another hallucination that would drive her to hitting Juusangou with a bong and screaming that he was not her real father.

You could read the thoughts going through his head clearly. His disappointment, his sorrow. Where had he gone wrong? Had it been the horseback lessons, the lacrosse camp, the tutors that had spent hours filling these heads with different languages and advanced mathematics and Emily Dickinson?

Juunanagou was literally wearing a ratty shirt that said 'Fuck You' across the chest. He sunk further into the couch, almost glaring at his foster father. He was not so far gone not to see the posturing, the rebellion and aimless self-destruction meant nothing. At eighteen and about to be shipped off to college, the world was his oyster and all that. Anyone who didn't like his actions could suck it, and all that.

'_When everything that ticked has stopped. And space stares all around. And…fuck.'_

Still though, he hated his foster father. And rules put into place just to make little men feel more important always rankled at him. Who was this bastard standing before him whom taken him and his sister away from their parents, and what gave him the right to dictate laws that they had to follow? But he couldn't make them not throw parties when he turned his back and left town for another conference. He couldn't stop them from shoving whatever they wanted up their noses, or smoking whatever could be rolled up. Or sneaking out at night and seeing whomever they wanted.

Gero still hadn't said anything besides his initial disownment. Before, he would have locked the twins in the room with the bars on the windows and the six locks on the outside of the door, crying out that they made him do this. And why, why couldn't they just be good. He looked at the twins, both now glaring at him with hatred, asking wordlessly, what the hell did he plan on doing _now_? They glared at each other over the passed out, strung out people on the floor, the scuffed coffee table, the plumes of smoke and bass from the stereo system still hanging in the air.

_'Without a chance, or spar, Or even a report of land. To justify despair.'_

Yet that was nothing compared to what he would do if he knew they'd been spending time with a certain group of individuals that they were supposed to one day concoct the downfall of. Especially the little shrimp best friend of the man they were in particular supposed to harm. Juunanagou leaned further back, smirking. Raised a rolled cigarette and inhaled deeply with a restrained cough that made his foster father shake his head and leave the room. Victory.

But he just kind of hoped that Gero found the coke laid out on the bathroom counter.

**110. Alive**

With bleary eyes, Krillin watched Juuhachigou do a double-take. Then she nodded, jaw set and eyes steely.

The short man just stared at her, disinterested. Would she kill him, or make love to him? His dreams followed a pattern that only made him feel worse. Juuhachigou was often there, hurt or vengeful or pleased, and occasionally so was Goku's blonde, green-eyed smile before he disappeared. Followed always by that sense of nothing, a hole in their lives although they didn't quite realize it, as soon as Goku left them all and took Cell with him. They battled it out: the last moments of his best friend's life on earth, and the murderous woman he loved coming back to him.

This time though, she just circled the bed, eyeing him. Krillin yawned and rolled over, wishing his dreams weren't so vivid. He didn't want to see her sooty eyelashes so clearly or the light eyes that penetrated everything their gaze was laid on. His dreams seemed to be mocked him, showing him what he couldn't have, or what he couldn't change. Or was there no difference?

Juuhachigou tore back the sheets.

Her grip on his shoulders made him sigh and wait for the hand to bury itself in his chest. It was only after she dragged him merciless into the bathroom and threw him into the pitiless freezing shower. Krillin sat there, leaning partially against the tiled walls, until she came back and dragged him outside. His roommates watched, their mouths wide open, except for Master Roshi who appeared unsurprised behind his magazine.

If the shower was cold, it was nothing compared to outside the small pink house. Grey clouds were on forever overhead, and the water was dark. Sand crunched underfoot, making his head ache further. His clothes clung to him, simultaneously too heavy and too thin.

Juuhachigou pushed him, and he nearly fell over. "Fly."

He was ninety percent sure this wasn't a dream. But why else would she be here, touching him.

"Fly."

Krillin cleared his throat, and Juuhachigou's instinctive blow to his stomach tore out his breath.

"Fly."

"Why?"

Her next punch he was able to clumsily dodge, but the kick forced him to his knees. Juuhachigou loomed overhead, her eyes matching the color of the overcast sky. "Fly."

"I _can't_."

She grabbed him, pulling on his shirt so hard water dripped from beneath her fingers. Krillin could barely make out her clothes, something black and blue and white, while she flew and dragged him with her onto the roof. The roof he'd fixed and improved, during those three years while they waited for her and her twin to come kill them all. Juuhachigou let go, and he fell again to bruise his knees. "Fly."

"No!" He coughed, tasting blood. "What's _wrong _with you?"

"I could ask you the same. You're the one lying around like a corpse that needed to be buried. And," something malicious crept into her voice. "If no one else is going to do it,_ I_ will."

When she slammed her foot into his side strong enough to send him flying, watching the roof fly over him as he fell, he now saw that she was wearing boots. His back screamed when it hit the ground, and once there was a time when such a thing would have just made him jump up, laughing. Krillin laid there a moment in the sand, wondering what had happened to that man. Had he died along with Goku, or after? Or before?

He saw the boots again as she landed in front of him, and she lifted his chin on the toe of it. She was wearing a denim skirt not unlike the one she'd worn when they'd first met. The angle he was at made his eyes widen.

"I just need to make a grave now."

The sudden light burning from her hand made him flinch. He couldn't sense her at all. Krillin managed to roll to the side, his back yelling, as he narrowly avoided the blast. Then another, another, another, until he was up and dodging, a whisper of his old strength coming back to him. Wisps of his clothes and hair burned, and Juuhachigou looked pleased.

"What's _wrong with you_?"

When she came to him, in a split second, to stand over him, he understood that her earlier punches and kicks and blasts had been child's play. Her fight with Vegeta, at a level he couldn't match in a hundred years, had only been a playful sparring session to her. _Now_ she would take off the kid gloves

Juuhachigou grabbed him by his ears, which were red and stinging from the cold. She pulled him up close, and whispering, "_Now_ are you going to fly?"

"No," Krillin panted.

She grabbed his arm, and dragged him around the island. "You look like a girl with that hair. You look like my brother."

"Better than being bald."

His longish hair flopped into his forehead, and Juuhachigou laughed as she pulled him along further. "What, can't you fly?"

"Of course I can." His chest burned red-hot and stifling. Her grip never loosened.

He'd never felt the wind pulling at his hair, like fingers. It was nice.

"Then do it."

Ki burned through him, reminding him of his strength, and of Goku whom he'd never been able to beat. What was the point? Power up, fly, what for? Juuhachigou grabbed a hank of his hair, and reminded him of why he'd shaved it in the first place. She shook him.

Swinging at her was instinct and nothing more. Her grin was quick, pulling up the corners of her mouth and eyes. When he had still felt something, it might have made him happy. Her freezing hands wrapped around his biceps, and he managed to shove his fingers into the pressure points in her arms before his fingers went numb. If that was just his body defending itself, the kick to her legs that she blocked was something more.

"Aw," her voice was sickeningly sweet. "Are you crying? Are you sad because your big ape friend died?"

"_You_-" Then she drove a fist into his side, his stomach, his face, again and again.

Juuhachigou was laughing, and the sky above spilled water on his face. The rain was colder than his tears. "Do you think being sad will bring him back? Do you think if you're really sad, really pathetic and spend the rest of your life wishing you'd died instead, he'll come back?"

Krillin dodged left and right and left. "What do you care? You wanted to_ kill_ Goku."

She came at him, a black and white blur. "I still do."

His fingers dug into her clothes, pulling and yanking to get a grip. _Damn her, damn her. _"Then why do you care! Why are you hear, what do _you want from me_?"

Juuhachigou slipped away with a purr of ripped fabric. She laughed again, turning around. "Because I heard you died again and wanted to see your body."

Krillin threw another punch as the water began to blur his vision. "Well, I'm _not_ dead."

"No, you're not."

**111. Internet**

Yamcha pleaded with him to turn the machine off, to walk away and go into public. "You can't find someone normal, and sane, to date? Someone real that won't try to scam and/or kill you?"

Krillin saw his reflection in the computer screen. "No."

His old friend stared at his hands on the keyboard, then back at him. At his absurd purple polo shirt and matching shorts and boat shoes. "I don't think you're going to find anyone this way."

The short man spent hours working on his profile. Going to tourist places with a camera and taking pictures in nice clothes. Made a few funny, harmless paragraphs telling about himself, and what he wanted in a partner.

He got a few replies, much to his amazement. Some of them were even from women. Some were even pretty, and seemingly sane. One in particular caught his eye. She was lovely, blonde, single and interested in a 'nice guy with a good attitude and a sense of humor.' What was Krillin, if not that? He emailed her back.

'Do you have any more pictures?'

'Sure.'

'Anything…revealing?'

And when he sent her a picture of himself shirtless and posing, ridiculously, she continued to contact him. She, Juuhachigou (a lovely, unusual name), only sent more dazzling pictures that didn't seem to be photoshopped at all. Then she wanted to meet him.

Her apartment was small, and hidden away in a dank part of town. Juuhachigou had said she was an artist, so he just chalked it up to that. Any time he grew a little daunted, sliding between crumbling buildings, he just recalled that pic of her in a tank top, or that cute denim skirt. None of his friends would ever believe she would even exist, so he didn't dare tell anyone.

If someone slid out from behind the falling-down fences and rotting boards and abandoned cars to hurt him, he might never be found.

Arriving at what he thought was the right address, Krillin knocked politely. The houses around there were faded and tired, but this one in particular was worn out. Windows broken, no welcome mat, door gouged, cracked and peeling paint. Music, something harder than he would ever have listened to, full of screaming guitars and a man roaring about how he was going to destroy someone. He could be slaughtered right here; no one would never know.

He knocked again with an unfeeling hand. All the neighbors were inside with the windows drawn. A tan, attractive young woman opened the door.

Krillin stared at her. "Did you dye your hair?"

She stared at him, definitely dark-haired and a little colder than her pictures had implied. A little flatter and more masculine as well, but still quite pretty. Her sudden, curiously wicked smile made Krillin blush, although he didn't know why. Juuhachigou turned back around, leaving the door open and allowing him to see the inside of the house. There were paints and stretched canvasses, and a roommate that looked exactly like her, except blonde. The right one?

"Juuhachigou?"

She stared at him, blonde and a match to the other woman. Except this was definitely the right one- Definitely not flatter. Her eyes flashed toward the flowers in his sweaty grip.

A temple bulged. She turned on heel, furiously clutching the door in one white knuckled hand. "Juunanagou!

"Did you put in another personal ad for me?"

**112. Homesick**

Krillin kept fussing, moving uncomfortable to the bed he thought was too soft to the couch that was too hard and back to the desk seat that was the worst of all for his back. The back that somehow started developing an ache as soon as they'd left. He picked up the phone again, before seeing the time and realizing how early or late it was on the other side of the planet. Then he would look at the clock, back at the phone, back at the clock. Weighing things. It tired her, just watching.

They'd only been there for a day, and rather than resting downstairs with a cup of cocoa besides her on the comfortable couch, or just passed out next to her before the minibar, he'd just paced the room and called home repeatedly. Her husband was really doing his best to ruin the mood.

"Do you think Marron's okay?"

Juuhachigou gazed outside the window, eyes dreamy. Snow. Lovely pale white, white snow with not a palm tree in sight. Not that she hated their tiny island. But she couldn't deny that after nearly a decade on it, it lost a little charm. The change in location wasn't all that made her smile, though; watching the skiers fall down had her smiling at their prostate forms, knowing she would never strap a board to her foot and slide down a mountain that way.

"Do you think she misses us?"

A molten core of a planet separated them from his friends. A thought she clutched like her daughter did a doll.

"I wonder if she learned how to color in the lines since we're been gone. Or how to hold a crayon."

All she wanted to do was lie on the bed and sleep in to ten. Without anyone trying to tunnel through the walls or install a camera in the smoke detector, or a crying child to wake her. No one to shake her away with a whine that their daughter was hungry, and oh they were out of diapers and also there were no clean bottles. Or hear a low thumb of a tiny motor, and wake up to a drill narrowly missing her head and a frightened snort as she grabbed and crushed the drill with one hand and one eye still shut.

What she wanted was just to nap with fear or shame. And she would do this, damn _everyone_, she would do that. Even if she got accusing stares for reaching towards the minibar's drinks.

Krillin just needed to relax.

Downstairs, when she finally dragged him down nursing an overpriced domestic beer, they ran into some of her least favorite people. Well, one of them. Bulma she didn't mind in small doses, and Trunks was potty trained and no longer teething. The short, spiky man besides the smiling two however, made her shoulders dropped and a frown settled on her once excited face.

He and Bulma were wearing matching sweaters, but even that didn't cheer her up.

Trunks began weeping into her shoulder. Krillin carefully his arms him up, after Bulma tossed her son into him. Then she pulled the blonde woman into her grasp. "So what's the first stop?"

Vegeta's frown was worse than hers.

Then it fully hit her. A week with these three, an entire week. At least on Kame Island, they were relatively left alone. There was no one that they knew here, and nowhere to escape besides a small hotel room. Snow on all sides, stretching out forever. Not unlike a desert, only one that would freeze anyone that tried to trek it.

This time, when they fall into their room, sore and covered in melting snow that trickled down their backs (a result of Vegeta_ really_ enjoying playing Snowball Fight against Krillin, and then Juuhachigou, and then Bulma and Trunks; it was the only time she'd seen him genuinely smile, and it was as horrifying as she'd expected), Juuhachigou was the one to reach for the phone for a chance to listen to her daughter chattering in her half-understood infant language. Nod and clutch the phone, tell me more about Rossi and Mistah Piggy.

She would listen very carefully to it all, and even deal with the old man's perverted remarks over the couple's 'honeymoon' for the chance to hear the ocean rolling onto the white, white beach.

**113. Virtuous**

Juuhachigou's jaw was set, and the hand holding her daughter's was clammy. Who would take care of Marron? Would someone watch her?

Marron was of course no warrior, but would they allow her to go to her father? She was an innocent little girl, and they would never allow her to join her mother in hell. When the time came, as more people ahead drifted away in line, she would hug her daughter and tell her that she loved her, and to look for her father.

Juuhachigou had never regretted more of her past than now. Her daughter was too young to understand, a blessing and a curse. How would she explain any of this to a child that only recently learned to run without falling? 'Mommy did some bad things, and now they're taking me away from you.'

'Mommy was hurt by a bad man, and now she has to leave you alone.'

After all they'd been through, being chased by a pink man with holes in his arms and collarbone, grinning horribly and exuding the smell of violence and death even a small child could pick up one. And then her father had thrown himself at this creature to give his wife and daughter time enough to escape. Which they weren't even able to do. At least she had shielded her baby from most of that, but of course she was partially aware of what was happening on some level (didn't all the books say that kids picked up on things?).

She would probably always remember being held by her frantic mother as they were chased, hearing her mother yell her father's name in desperation. After all that Juuhachigou had done to shield Marron from the perverts at home, now there was this. Another sign that she could never fully protect her child.

King Yemma barely spared her a glance. "Would have thought you'd be sent up with the other fighters?"

"I'm a mother now."

Her baby clung to her side, holding a fistful of her jeans with one chubby harmless, helpless fist. Juuhachigou stroked the soft light hair that she'd given her, if nothing else. Looking at her child and wondering if she'd ever see her again. But even now, she was so frozen into her usual silence that would trip her up and be only able to nod or say 'you too,' when her family told her that they loved her. She wished she could weep as Krillin did. She wished Krillin was _here_.

"Okay." The horned giant stamped something on a paper and then threw it into a cluttered tray, "The nursery's through the door, on the right. Have a nice stay in heaven, Missus Juuhachigou."

**114. Concussion**

He wondered what the other driver's around them must have thought. Juuhachigou flopped against him again, nearly causing him to go off the road. Juunanagou slapped her mercilessly, screaming at her to wake up. It was his entire fault, and maybe that's why he was so determined to keep her awake. He had been the one to throw her into that mountain as revenge when she claimed that Krillin's hair reminded her of his, and so now it was his job to make sure she didn't slip into unconsciousness and die.

Juunanagou pulled his sister out of Krillin's lap again, and after the shorter man tired of the yelling, and emptied his water bottle onto both of them. Juuhachigou snapped awake to yell at him for ruining her shirt_, you asshole!_ allowing her to remain conscious until they got to Capsule Corp.

**115. Unconscious**

He still wasn't moving.

"Oh god, I think I killed him." She hadn't meant to say it aloud, but there it was, flying around in the world.

Juuhachigou had done her best not to truly hurt him. But it was possible she underestimated her own strength. Of course, none of this mattered since his friends would take that as an excuse. The dragonballs couldn't bring him back, so any reasoning wouldn't matter: the key witness would already be dead and gone.

The trial she would be given would last exactly long enough for Gohan to power up.

She poked at him. His skin was cold and clammy.

He'd been underwater for far too long. What had she been thinking, holding him under the surface of the ocean for so long? It had been fun, something cruel her brother would have done, and it was going to be her undoing.

That's what had done it. Maybe the lack of nose hadn't helped either? It didn't matter.

She slapped him. He didn't move.

She called his name. He didn't answer.

They would probably go after her twin right as soon as they killed her. To complete the set. Why had they let them live so long; poor Krillin. And of course they would be sent to hell, immediately.

She ripped his shirt, trying to allow him to breathe easier. He didn't seem to be breathing.

She listened to his chest. He still didn't seem to be breathing at all.

Some buried memory of her life from Before came to her. Lifeguards and orange vest and red bathing suits. That's what she would do.

Juuhachigou leaned back his head, trying to let in air. She pinched the skin on his face before realizing stupidly that he was still lacking a nose. Krillin still didn't appear to be breathing, and so the cyborg sighed once and weighed dignity against the literal threat of Hell. Gero was down there, and she didn't want to spend an eternity anywhere near that man.

So, she breathed into him, mouth to mouth. Breathed for him. It was not exactly his state that made her so determined, but instead for herself, for her brother, for not having to be stuck with the stupidest villains that had prowled the universe. She breathed life into him so she wouldn't have to continue the list of how terrible Hell would be for her as she headed downward.

His sudden, hacking cough was sweeter than any music. Juuhachigou pressed her face into his damp chest, hearing his heartbeat through his torn shirt. Thank Kami. Krillin's fingers touching her hair, was unwanted, but still brought another wave of relief. He could move, and any brain damage would probably go unnoticed.

"Juuhachigou, were you kissing me?"

Her blow to his chin took him out again. Only this time there was more blood.

"Oh god, now I think I really killed him."

**116. For better, or worse**

Krillin stared at his house, or his master's anyway, taking inventory.

The only toilet was plugged with a diaper, and three dirty kids ran underfoot. Thankfully, only one of them was his own.

Unfortunately, he was responsible for all of them until tomorrow.

Juuhachigou had given up. She just handed them more pudding cups, sans even spoons, and tried otherwise to avoid them. No matter how Goten tore the curtains down, and Trunks smashed another plate, and Marron knocked over another piece of furniture. She'd tried, but three kids were just too much for her to take. The blonde woman just read a book or watched TV, neither things he was sure she could actually _do_ well in this disaster, keeping her back to the destruction, and the stained children.

It was supposed to be their honeymoon.

Krillin tried to corner at least one of the children. They all scurried away, and one of them knocked over a chair before scurrying up the stairs, giggling. Juuhachigou didn't even turn around while her husband ducked the falling furniture.

"Juuhachigou! Help me!" He glared at her and was met with her uninterested blue eyes.

Another child threw something wet, a soppy wet tangle of paper towels, and narrowly missed the short man. Then there was a knock at the door, and he saw a slim shape, dark-haired, a giant stuffed animal resting on his back. Marron's uncle.

Krillin's hands tangled with each other. His wife's twin would only egg them all on. Together, all of them, would race around the house, destroying what remained. "Not now, not now."

Then he turned to his wife. His question was mostly rhetorical. "Shouldn't marriage mean we're adults with our own lives, and can escape this?"

And Juuhachigou put down her unread book and laughed and laughed. "We're _married_ now. There's no escape."

Krillin looked at her. "This is it?"

She nodded. "This is marriage." Upstairs, the children were fighting and rolling around. Krillin glanced up at the ceiling, then finally sat down by Juuhachigou as her brother jimmied the door open. They settled for turning the TV onto something for kids, while the kids and Juunanagou gathered around it, and together they all mocked the annoying sidekicks, ridiculous villains and badly drawn cartoons.

**117. Tidal wave**

It took her a full thirty seconds to realize what was happening. She was lounging on the couch, one hand on the remote and the other lying on the ground, when she realized that everything was moving to the right. Another wave of clear blueness shoved everything a little further, and she finally sat up.

"Does this happen a lot?" she asked to Krillin as he tumbled through the door, soaking wet, yelling that a storm was coming.

**118. Sponge Bath**

After Krillin spat up more blood and sand, Juuhachigou let him up. When he leaned against her, clung to her with weak fingers and hands, she let him since his expression was so pitiful. His smashed lips left a trail of blood on her once clean t-shirt.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, holding him up.

Thankfully, his roommates were gone for Bikini Fest #345, and would be gone all weekend. They were all alone now, and when she told him that, he just looked up at her, vaguely concerned. Only Krillin seemed to be able to make this unfamiliar nurturing side of her come out.

Unlike when her brother would stumble home from a chasing-bears-and-eating-honey-and-maple-syrup bender, she would just let him lay unconscious wherever he landed. The couch, living room floor, or the front porch, he could rot there for all Juuhachigou cared.

With Krillin though, if he had so much as a stomach ache from the maple candy her brother fostered on her and the short human found in her pockets, Juuhachigou would be there to pat his head and tell him that it wasn't so bad. After all, it wasn't like he was being slapped around by someone tail, or stepped on by a giant ape, or having his neck snapped like a chicken wing or stabbed by a horn, or exploded. When she was near him, the smiles came easier, and she found a measure of kindness and patience that she hadn't known existed.

And it was something she enjoyed, instead of resenting.

She would hold his hand, and maybe his hair if her brother had made sure to slip more candy than usual into her clothes like she was smuggling it out of country. "It's okay, at least you're not being bitten by a vampire, or forced to look for a tiny rock on a big island, or fight a giant robot."

It gave her a nice excuse to come back here for sparring, an excuse she told herself and only herself. She wanted to explore this suddenly caring, human part, and in order to do so had to be near Krillin. Sparring with Krillin was also otherwise more entertaining than staring at a wall, or fighting her sticky and bloody brother. He was weaker than her, of course, but had different tricks to pull that would surprised her. Or he would simply run around the building, trying to dodge her, and force her to simply chase him down and push him into the sand.

Juuhachigou would beat him, and then she would care for the wounds she'd given him.

He at first didn't seem to mind. But when she would force him to remove not only his shirt but also his pants to make sure he was alright, Krillin would become a little uneasy. "You didn't hit my _thigh_, Juuhachigou," he reminded her.

_I will next time._ "I guess you're fine then. Now pull up your pants."

Now she nearly nuzzled his neck, his limp form pressed into hers.

"Krillin, you really ruined your clothes.

"Blood all over you; it's getting on the rugs.

Juuhachigou kept her voice glum. "I think you need a shower."

"Oh. I suppose you can't make it there on your own.

"You'll probably need help cleaning, then, won't you?

"No, that's alright, I can take off your pants without your help.

"The bathroom's upstairs, isn't it?"

**119. Happy Birthday**

A yell was choked down by her self-control. Krillin looked up at her, his eyes huge and illuminated by a single candle. Juuhachigou stared at the small white cake held in the fighter's small white hands.

He was grinning.

"I wasn't sure how old you were, so I just used one candle."

"You're what, twenty?" His voice was casual poured over curious-as-hell. "Nineteen? Early twenties?

"Late teens?

"You should blow it out, before it melts into the cake." Krillin's eyes were innocent, and with something close to dread, she wondered what he'd done. Had he done something that required her forgiveness, and a cake to seal the deal with sugar?

She leaned into the side of the doorway, pulling away.

"Mid-twenties?"

After all this time, perhaps would have grown used to being jumped out by the short human. It was how she was greeted nearly every morning: with him popping up from beneath the stairs, or from a previously shut door, or behind the couch or sliding his head through an opened window and saying, "Man, some weather we're having, huh?"

Except, of course, when she awoke moderately early. Then he would jump out behind something in the kitchen, asking her cheerfully if she wanted breakfast.

"I know," Krillin's face was sheepish. "It probably isn't your birthday. But you've been here for a while now, and so I thought your birthday might have passed."

"Birthday?"

"Yeah." His face cheered. "Just don't be surprised if maybe it doesn't immediately blow out because maybe I used some of those leftover trick candles Master Roshi left around the house. Maybe."

Juuhachigou looked at him, wondering how he'd look if she pulled the cake from his grasp, and shoved it into his face. Her own vengeful, "Make a wish!" But hellishly, she imagined what his wish would entail and how it would involve her. And, quite possibly, frosting.

**120. Stealing**

Krillin adjusted the ribbons on their daughter hair, smiling absentmindedly while arguing with her over some dress they'd seen at the mall. The irony of Marron preferring red ribbons, going so far as to pick them out of the bin when she was a toddler, never escaped either of her parents.

She still felt like she had killed someone and taken her place.

A wife? A mother? _Her? _She was the eighteenth of Gero's creations, turned from a normal human woman into a cyborg using the finest technology available on the planet. Programmed solely for the destruction of Goku and only possessing the slightest remnant of humanity. If she was to spend any time with Earth's heroes, it was to kill those insects that were getting in her way of destroying all life on the planet.

Not to marry and procreate with them.

I'm sorry. There's been some mistake.

But even as she waited for things to change, for her to wake up in a lab to Gero's voice and familiar eyes, or in a cold sweat in her brother's hideous Winnebago, Krillin and Marron never changed or dissipated from her vision until she was forced to accept that they were hers. Red ribbons and all.

**121. Graveyard**

"This is stupid."

"What, have you ever seen a ghost before?"

"No," Juuhachigou finally said, after a moment of glaring at him. _You know what I meant._

"Then how stupid could it be, to finally see a ghost?"

"There aren't any ghosts." She brushed off a speck of lint from her sweater. Underneath her, the warmth from the car's engine was a fleeting thing. Krillin didn't mean anything to her; she didn't have to stay here out of some misguided idea that she owed him anything.

She'd never asked for his help, no matter if he threw himself in front of Cell, or cared for her after that monster had spat her out. So what if he'd kept the others from murdering her while she lay there, helpless, on the sandy dry desert Cell had made them fight in. And then, to try and avoid making him disappointed, "You're acting like a child."

"Well, we'll see."

**122. Forbidden**

His friends were still cold to her, and her brother hated him.

Their looks would be at best unenthused, at worst outright antagonistic. Vegeta refused to do anything but insult her, and if he could not do that, then he would leave the room. Yamcha wouldn't sit near her, and Tien frowned at her more heavily than he normally did. Gohan was polite, but rarely seemed to leave his room, which was darkened so heavily with a pile of books that it blocked out the sun. Chi-Chi refused to be within thirty feet of her.

The other woman, Bulma, was hesitantly pleased to have another female join the group, one who enjoyed clothes and wasn't afraid to insult the other only made Juuhachigou more welcome. But she was only one person in a group of others that hated and feared her.

Once Juunanagou was sitting across from her at their breakfast table, and told her that if he ever caught her again with the cueball (who actually was cultivating a nice crop of perfectly black hair on his head), he would disown her. It was such an old-fashioned word, and what would he disown her of? Juuhachigou laughed so hard she hit her head on the nearby counter. He just frowned, warning her again, this time silently.

All of this…well, it made her want to spend more time with Krillin. Aside from their conversations taking a turn to being interesting once in a while, there was also the fact that her brother would blow a gasket if he saw her leaning against him while they walking in the park. That his friends would turn red in anger and frustration if they saw him holding her hand, or picking her a single, perfect flower even as she complained how foolish she felt holding it, and how about he put the damn thing in his own hair. Which he did with a jaunty grin.

Not to mention, if they knew, all of them, including her brother, that they knew what the other looked like naked, that she knew where he was ticklish and he knew how to make her squirm and lose her composure with a shuddering gasp that drew a smirk onto Krillin's face.

…they would all cough up blood.

**123. Secret**

Krillin was a goddamn Pandora's Box. It was something she learned as soon as she saw him again. Of course, she was aware that much of the short fighter was an open book. He could be painfully upfront with his emotions, even as he hid others beneath a façade of foolishness. An open book with many dog-eared pages and flaps.

She had met him, floating over a huge ocean with nothing in sight. So when she fled after his straight-forward confession, it was harder to disappear into the surroundings while he stood there, staring at her. Clearly he hadn't expected her to run away, and to be fair, neither had she. But what could she say, after him blurting out, "Yeah, of course I have a crush on you. I think I'm in love with you. Why are you asking?" The round face beginning to twitch into confusion and something that might have been happiness. Hope.

What, would she just float there besides him, and nod and say "That's what I thought. Nice day out here. No storms anymore?" No, Juuhachigou had to flee to save her sanity. Literally fly away like a coward, ashamed even as she gathered speed, but unable to see an alternative.

It didn't matter that she'd only met him three times, and yet he'd still managed to grow such a strong attachment to her. That was disturbing, when she stopped to think of it, turning it over in her mind gingerly since it burned it she held onto the idea for too long. But, discounting how many times they'd met, she _knew _Krillin.

He had a huge file dedicated to him on whatever Gero had implanted in her head. Movies, pictures, information from his childhood to teenage years to adulthood, all focused on him. She knew more about him than many of his friends did perhaps. Things that he'd done alone, without his pals, embarrassing moments that could reveal weaknesses, stuff he wouldn't tell anyone outside a psychiatrist's office.

But she knew it. She knew _him_.

And the only thing more disturbing than a man she'd met only three times claiming he loved her was that it was _Krillin _who was saying this. A man, who not only was one of the heroes of Earth she was partially created to defeat, but a man who was...strange?

-in _addition, _he was short, noseless, bald, lived with a bunch of perverts, had a weird sense of humor, and complained about not having dates like he'd never looked in a mirror. Who was as needy as a beaten and starved puppy. One of the saviors of the planet, and a bizarre one at that. Or maybe it was the other way around; a deeply flawed man who was also was a hero?

Either way, she wanted nothing to do with him.

_I will never see him again. I swear it, on his life. _

_For the rest of his life, he will never catch so much as a glimpse of me._

The next day, she ran into him. Krillin nodded to her cordially. Like he wasn't an enemy, who had spared her life at least twice and used a wish from a dragon to improve (what he thought was improving) her life. He even handed her slice from an orange he'd plucked from a tree nearby. Juuhachigou flinched away from his hands, hating herself, hating him.

She couldn't hurt him, as his little friends would immediately suspect her. You didn't need to be a detective to put together the fact that maybe Krillin had talked to the android he had a crush on, who was known to have a temper and could crush him like a bug, and come to the conclusion that perhaps it was one of the homicidal androids that had burnt him to a crisp. A well-done crisp.

Right now, Juuhachigou was practically helpless. A punch or two could be slipped by, maybe, especially if she didn't leave bruises on his face. But nothing more.

And what if Krillin decided after being smacked around, that he didn't really like her and was willing to turn her into his group of fighters? He could, easily. No one would take her side. So they just sat there, at the benches by a small bistro, trees and grass of the tiny lawn that provided a view to the patrons of the restaurant.

He nodded again, as though in agreement to her wince over his orange. All big wet black eyes. "How've you been?"

"Fine." Voice icy. Let him make something of that.

The stupid small talk that, even with her inhumanity, she couldn't not answer to. Krillin appeared to _really_ care, so at least there was that.

He slid another slice of orange against his lips thoughtfully before sliding it inside his mouth.

"Sure you don't want one?"

"Yes."

"You do want one?"

"No." She sounded petulant to her own ears. "I meant that I was sure I didn't want one."

"Ah."

She listened to him peeling the fruit a little more.

"I almost got married, you know."

There was an odd sensation of her mouth had shrinking down two sizes. Krillin had been going left, she'd thought, and then he suddenly buried himself into the ground and came out from the ceiling. "Good for you."

"We broke up a while back. I dumped her. She was a nice girl, very pretty."

"…okay."

The head that popped out of the ceiling had no face.

"Just in case you wondered. If I'd had a relationship before. Because I understand what I'm talking about."

"Um."

"That I _do_ know that I love you."

The rest of the body slithered from the hole in the ceiling; it had no limbs in addition to any face, and was singing a version of a song that played often on the radio, high pitched.

Slack jawed disbelief.

Not a damn noise escape her throat.

"I'm nice too. I have a sense of humor. I can make you laugh.

"I do have some money tucked away, from working some jobs and from fighting in a couple of tournaments.

He pointed with a thumb behind them, at the restaurant. "I'm working as a waiter for awhile. Not bad pay. I mean, I don't get a lot of tips. Because…ah, never mind. But it's not so bad. It gives me free time on my hands."

"I can fight. I'm in good shape. Not as strong as you, but still. We could spar?

"And I understand that you have…some metal parts inside of you. I don't judge that. Or what you did when we were enemies. You don't have to hide that part of your life.

"I have a car."

"Is this," her breathe wheezed out of her chest. Horror had made her mind go flying away into the blue sky. "Your way of _wooing _me?"

Krillin's laugh made her flinch again. He was looking at her, suddenly, taking in her reaction. The humor was not receding. "Sure, you could call it that."

"What makes you think I want to," Juuhachigou sputtered. "To be wooed by you?"

"Well, I think we'd be good together. I don't see why you'd completely discount the possibility."

"My brother would kill you, if he knew that you were saying any of this."

Juunanagou would do nothing of the sort. He would laugh so hard he'd rupture something, give Krillin ridiculous tips, and make bets with his hunter friends who all were bearded, flannelled and splattered with runoff from their chew tobacco they spat out constantly. None of them, thankfully, hit on her. When they first met her, they'd asked Juunanagou what his little brother's name was. Clearly, the closest thing to a female they'd been near is a bear. Relief was the only think that kept her from blowing them up.

Thinking of them made the man besides her look a little better. _His_ clothes weren't covered in sap and leaves and mud. They were actually rather nice, a white button up shirt and black slacks. She guessed he really was waiter. Imagine being served by him. 'Our special of the day is...' From a man strong enough to literally destroy the planet, had he been so inclined. But he probably was good at this job.

Juuhachigou could easily imagine him entertaining kids, joking with them and saying he needed a booster seat as well, recommending specials and things off the menu to couples and chatting comfortably with families. If she came in there, she could see him telling the cooks that it was her birthday and would bring her a cake and sing her 'happy birthday.'

Krillin was frowning, finally. "What could I do to convince you that I'm sincere?"

"Oh, I believe you," Juuhachigou assured him.

The small human perked up. "Really?"

"I just don't care."

"Oh. So what can I say that would make you _care_?"

Nothing. "Not much."

"There has to be _something_." He seemed so earnest. The dark eyes were shoving small blades into her stomach.

"Why?" Her legs were stiff and her shoulders sore and tense.

"Because there has to be."

"No, there doesn't. There isn't _some way _you can just make me like you. I don't care about your feelings. At all. And never will. You don't mean anything to me."

Krillin's expression was comically heartbroken. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He held up a balled fist, like this was a challenge he could try his hardest at and through the power of goodness and justice and blah blah, could somehow convince her. That everything would turn okay so long as you were good and brave. "What if-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. Never. I don't even think we can be friends."

"I don't think so either."

Now she was shocked. The faceless, singing man sprouted fifteen arms. "You aren't positioning yourself to be my friend."

"I don't want to just be friends with you." A sigh. "Maybe later, when I feel less strongly for you."

The matter of her broken, torn pride spoke up. She lived in a forest with her idiot brother rather than terrorizing the planet, but damnit, couldn't she at least make the shrimp be a little crestfallen for her saying no when he asked her out? "Will you?"

He stared at his shoes, scratching his forehead and looking crestfallen. "I guess. I have to."

Again, maybe pity made her want to spare him. Or she thought it would be another knife to twist. Pride again, if only for her ability to make someone hurt again.

"How about this," Juuhachigou offered. The tips of her fingers skimmed the top of his smooth head, making him gasp and pinkness rise to his cheeks. Quickened breath. So easy to get under his skin. "I'll agree to go out with you, if you can somehow, miraculously, grow a head of hair. And no wigs or plugs either."

And the poor guy, probably so shocked that she'd touched him without hurting him, looked immediately happy. Unfortunate, since he was permanently bald as his Master, Juuhachigou was sure.

She _did_ know him.

**124. Regret**

Above them the world wept and screamed out. Krillin's voice could scarcely be made out over the sound of the storm. "I sacrifice my friend's life for you. I was willing to let you live, even if it meant that Cell would destroy the world."

Juuhachigou narrowed ice blue eyes while the rain pushed her hair into her face, and retorted, "Well, that was stupid of you, wasn't it?"

**125. ****Don't cross this line... okay, this line... okay, THIS line...**

He'd left his jacket in her room, again. Juuhachigou frowned at it, trying to remind herself to put it in her closet before her brother got home.

It was amazing, the little things that added up.

Him having to slip out of a window, leaving clothes behind, sometimes just socks that she would stare at and would weigh on the back of her mind until he would come back. Maybe a single flower in his hand, but always smiling.

She hadn't meant for any of this to happen. Often Juuhachigou found herself wondering how exactly any of this had happened. He got under her skin though. And pop into her head, refusing to leave. Then she couldn't stop thinking about him, and when he arrived, Juuhachigou found herself reluctant to let him leave and harder to snap at the things he said and did.

_Maybe in time_, she would tell herself_, I'll get used to him and be able to scream insults at his bald head again._

_His stupid bald head._

There was a tapping at her window.

**126. Seeing You with New Eyes/ Second Look**

When she realized there was someone else there, and that it was a human, she was shocked into silence. When she realized who the human was, she was frightened, because he was never far from his friends. When she realized what had fallen from his hand, she became petrified.

His face was creased in anger.

It just lay there as peaceful as a sleeping snake, closer to his right leg than his left, and as quick as she was, she would never make it in time to stop him.

She'd thought of the little human as barely an enemy, and now, faced with the Emergency Suspension Controller that would end all of this, her new found fear, the vision of her twin being defeated, _dying,_ Juurokugou being destroyed as well, she found that he was still barely an enemy. After he pressed the button, there would be nothingness, and some version of peace for her.

The programming would fall silent. No more of Gero's voice, no more sensors to analyze strengths that now seemed meaningless. No more having to chase Goku as a dead man's pawn without a true purpose.

If she'd been a sentimental woman, she might have reflected that maybe in the next life she would be with her brother again.

"Nice day, huh. I came here to kill you."

Before her, the grim faced human was now her savior.


	6. 127 thru 151

A/N: To Gohanroxme, I have to say, it's about a fifty-fifty split between the two. Krillin's my favorite character, but Juuhachigou's better at expressing sometimes the craziness of situations because when she goes off the rails, it's never in half-measures; she really goes crazy. While Krillin can bounce between rational and insanity. It really just depends on the prompt and which voice would be best at expressing what I was going for. I will say that I definitely laugh more when writing things from Juuhachigou's POV.

Also, everyone go read Gohanroxme's collection of one-shots too, because they're awesome.

As for this story, it inadvertantly developed a theme for Krillin and Goku being gay for each other. I apologize for that. It just sort of happened and snowballed and Juuhachigou refused to let it go. Next prompts, which will hopefully number twenty-five rather than twenty-four (but this chapter may be the longest, so it evens out) this time, will be more random with a side of angst and a Trunks POV.

As always, thanks for reading and feel free to throw up prompt ideas/encouragements/complaints/demands

'_We were dying on the floor, and you won't stop talking about it anymore.'_

Stupid and Shallow, Futurehead

* * *

**127. Afraid of the Dark**

For some bizarre reason, they met before dawn had technically risen.

He was a morning person, and she couldn't awake before ten in the afternoon.

So they found a halfway point, not at a reasonable hour in the evening, but in the middle of the night. As Juuhachigou planned on going to sleep soon, and he was just waking up. The night sky reached out above their heads, and the stars were pale. Moonlight barely allowed them to see each other's faces.

"So," he nodded to her, stretching, "how was your night?

**128. Teased**

Whatever the hell was wrong with Bulma, a myriad list, also made her unable to keep her mouth shut. Even now, she looked across the dingy hideous red-pink cafeteria table and laughed until she nearly choked on her French fry. "Hahaha." The laughter of a psychotic teenage girl having a rich time hurting one of her supposed friends.

On the other side of the table, Juuhachigou glared at her and waited for the giggles to dry up. And for the fist pounding to end. And for the slaps to the knee to finally stop.

"Okay." Bulma took a deep breathe, wiping tears away and reaching for Juuhachigou's untouched milk carton. "So you think you might be attracted to Krillin?"

"No! I didn't say that!"

"You didn't not say it."

"Bulma. Listen to me. All I said was that lately I've been thinking about that miserable shrimp more."

"Undressed?"

"No! Just there. Around. Shut up."

"Fine, fine. Whatever makes you feel better. I'm not here to judge. To slander you and inform everyone I know that you're a Krillin Lover. That you're into bald short men. And I am most definitely not texting all the people on my friend list to tell them of this latest development."

Juuhachigou was immediately leaning down to check under the table. Snarling, she tore the cell phone from Bulma's quick hands. Checking the latest messages sent only increased her rage. All those little hearts and smiley face, so many little hearts that went like 3. Krillin's name posted and reposted several times and the number 18 was in there as well. The sight of the CC list made her sigh.

"I'll get you back for this."

"You should be thanking me. Setting you up with your soul mate like that—"

"Oh, shut up. Dear god. Did you send this to Krillin?"

"He _is_ on my friend list." The blue-haired girl looked at the blonde like she was dense.

The cell phone felt like a ticking time bomb. Bulma's obnoxious background picture of herself waving a V at the camera and wearing mardi gras beads made Juuhachigou feel nostalgic for a better time where she had snuck peach schnapps to her two best female friends during a party. Giggling and rolling their eyes over Chi-Chi's overactive imagination and ability to continue going on for hours about how the captain of the football team was. Until she and Bulma were passing the bottle back and forth and sighing as their friend continued waxing on poetically about 'boyishly mussed hair and passionate black eyes.'

Now Chi-Chi was sitting by that football player, screaming at him until the teachers came to break it up, for forgetting their anniversary. Leaving her and Bulma to talk and somehow Juuhachigou had been stupid enough to let her guard down and letting slip that she'd had her mind stuck on a certain short football player who tended to play defense and be bashed around by the much other larger players since him in offense was even more cringe-worthy. Who, despite the shiny head and lack of nose, looked kinda cute squashed into the field and covered in mud.

And now he knew that she felt that way. All those 'lol's' couldn't be ignored.

There was a sudden tension in the room. Looks were being passed her way. Stares, smirked, knowingness in their eyes.

That utter bastard Vegeta raised his juice bottle high, standing up on the table to be seen by all. "I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple: Juuhachigou and the shrimp."

Bulma laughed and applauded harder than anyone.

"What?" Goku managed to swallow the pound of mashed potatoes in his mouth. "They finally got together?"

She sat there in a dizzying wave of horror. Trying to focus. Trying to come up with a snappy one-liner that she was so good at, one that would shut Vegeta down. Normally, she had so, so many. Look at him. That hair. The tennis whites. Come on. Come oooonnn. But it was all she could do to not fall off the cafeteria bench. To put her head down and try and block everyone out.

He grinned and gestured towards her with the juice bottle while Juuhachigou wondered if the cops would suspect it was her who had set the school on fire, and whether or not it was worth an arson charge to find out.

Even Goku knew.

She sat there until the laughter ceased, until Bulma stopped trying to cheer her up with 'at least everyone knows! I mean, it's all out there! I mean…you know what I mean,' until she was one of the last people in the large linoleum covered room and bound to be late for her next class. Stiffly, she rose from her seat and gathered her belongings. A cafeteria worker gave her a dirty look for not bussing her tray, but that was the least of Juuhachigou's worries.

Her bag was held in a whitened grip, nearly clutched to her chest. Could she call someone at her house, there was always someone there hanging around, and get them to pick her up? The school was surrounded by empty fields tilled by the grimly efficient Garden Club (that you-know-who was part of) and it could make hiding from the school security guards difficult. But having a 'family' member stop by, plead that her grandmother had died or something, and take her home. The coward's way out.

And, depending on who picked up, might mean blackmail that forced her to clean the roof gutters or help shoplift something expensive or…anything really. The last time Juurokugou had saved her he made her work at the green house for an entire month. Juugogou had made her overturn a pretzel cart, reasons still not entirely understood. Juuyongou had simply stared down at her, saying softly that he would want her to do a favor, in the future, never explained and horrifying in its possibilities. And Gero had made her clean out the basement. Juusangou was the best, when he wasn't on the road, since he would mostly just bust your chops a little and then laugh as you told him whatever you'd done.

If only she had shut Vegeta down in the cafeteria. Or grabbed Bulma's phone a little quicker. Or kept her mouth shut in the first place.

Even the history teacher seemed to stare at her and know what had happened. For once, he didn't sigh and rant about the youth of today. People did their best to avoid eye contact and act like nothing was wrong.

She understood what being damned was like. A scarlet letter in the shape of an emoticon laughing was placed on her shirt.

Her next class, in the computer lab, was going to be even worse. She walked with a book held to her chest and trying not to stare at anyone. Any laughter in the hallways made her flinch, sure it was about her. Or maybe Chi-Chi and Goku had been found in another closet and everyone could move past her disaster. Bulma set something new on fire in chemistry lab, hopefully Vegeta's hair, again. Any second the uptight tennis player would rush from a classroom, head ablaze and screams echoing off the lockers.

The classroom door's handle was cold in her grip. Only a few people were seated around the computer's glowing screens, and she took what comfort she could in that. Slowly, knowing that there was no true escape until someone rose from the ranks of the student body in a phoenix blaze of embarrassment and harassment that allowed her to be reborn in the purifying flames.

That, or she would have to set the school on fire. Her brother kept oil-soaked rags and kerosene topped by matches in the basement, because he was stupid in the self-destructive way. Gero knew plenty of lawyers if it came down to it. Schoolyard bullying gone too far, it would be listed under and there would be even more Respect Classes the administration shoved down student's throats. She could become a martyr for a cause, a hero. Admired. A noble lie to cling to. Who would pick at the girl who fought for tolerance?

Krillin looking up with his dark eyes shining with real appreciation for her.'Wow, Juuhachigou, I had no idea you were so sensitive…and I don't even remember any more why everyone picked on you.'

He sat down besides her, as usual, throwing his gym back and backpack on the floor like he always did. Taking a deep inhale since he'd have to run here from the padlocked gardens and smelling of soap from trying to clean the grime from beneath his nails. Immediately, he was turning on his own computer, an action she had yet to do since there was comfort staring at the black reflection of the screen. "Hey, Juuhachigou."

"Hi."

She watched him typing, his tongue running over his teeth as he thought something out, totally uninterested in her. It was possible that he had no idea of what had occurred in the cafeteria. Maybe the reception out in the garden was terrible?

Finally, it became possible to turn on her computer. A stiffness she hadn't realized was there left her shoulders, and she was grateful that Krillin was Krillin and not into gossip or into playing with his phone at all hours and was way too shy to do anything when/if he finally learned. He had such low confidence (which she could use during one of her lectures when she went on tour to give bland statements about how bullying was bad) that he would assume everyone was making fun of him.

A real shame. Looking back, trying to loosely plan her general opening remarks on the bullying mentality, she probably was partially responsible for all his suffering and low self-esteem. The shoving into the pool as kids where he'd nearly drowned only to overhear her laughing as the life guard pulled him out, how she'd bet her brother that he couldn't grab the guy's clothes while he showered and run away to leave him to suffer, the time during gym she'd reached out purely out of sadism to grab, pull back, and release the band of his jockstrap that had sent him flying into the path of a incoming dodgeball, that time she had thrown a rock at his shiny head only to knock out a tooth.

The concept that all these events tended to involve Krillin in little or his undergarment was one she to sit back and reflect on. Any therapist could have seen what her subconscious was trying to do.

"So." He looked at her, guileless. "How long have you been driven mad by lust for me Juuhachigou?"

"…goddamnit, Bulma."

"It's okay." He was raising one eyebrow in that infuriatingly smug way. "We both knew this was coming."

"Oh god. Stop. Just…don't discuss this with me. Ever.

"Do you hear me? Ever. I don't want to hear anything from you. Ever again.

"In regards to anything.

"Ever."

He made a zipping gesture across his mouth, eyes nearly twinkling in that way that made her give in to the urge to drop her head onto her keyboard.

"It's okay. It's cool." Krillin patted the air around her. "We can do whatever you want. Friends…or we could try going out? Dinner next Saturday? A movie, maybe?"

She nearly bit down on the space key. The briefest fantasy of bringing Krillin to her home and having her screwed up excuse of a family scare him off passed through her head in an array of tacky clothes and screaming. But no, they would sense her hopefulness and take him in as one of their own. So glad she finally met a nice boy, would he like another cup of coffee, perhaps a pastry?

Regardless of her previous realization that there were hidden rivers inside floating with insidious drums of body parts and obsession with Krillin's underthings, she definitely wanted to keep a safe distance from him. It was truly better for both of them. Aside from not knowing a thing about a healthy relationship, she would probably push him in front of traffic or stab him with a knife.

They both needed to forget about Bulma's message. The entire world needed to forget about what happened. Juuhachigou rested a cheek on the number keys and stared at her reflection in the computer screen.

"Krillin. Would you be willing to do something for me?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course. What?"

"I don't suppose you have any blackmail on your friends? Hopefully with an emphasis on Bulma and Vegeta?"

"Oh. No. Sorry." His voice was dropping to a softer drone, leaning close to her. She could tell without looking that he would be staring at her all unfocused and soft. Even after all the cruelty she'd buried him under through the years…still at her side, trying to help her.

She reached out and grabbed a handful of his orange football jersey. "Would you be willing to do something for me? Something that may get you suspended and humiliated for the rest of your high school life?"

Krillin's tongue probed his teeth some more. "…I don't know."

"That's fair." She left go of his shirt.

"But, but hey, just tell me what you want? And I can try to help."

"Well. It's," Insanity that would probably ruin her budding career as a lecturer. "Just an idea I had."

"For what?"

"To make people forget all about that stupid message Bulma sent."

"Aw, why would you want to do that?" Krillin was smiling at her, way too close. Looking like something for Halloween in those clothes.

"Of course you don't care. But I do. I don't want to walk around with that hanging over my head."

"So what's the plan?"

She told him it, watching his face go from interested to disbelieving to angry and offended. Upset that the woman responsible for his expensive dental work would ask so much from him. "No. No way."

"Yeah. I didn't think so." Juuhachigou slumped in her seat. "I'll just go around known as the girl with some gross thing for you. And it'll get worse from there."

The wavery blonde girl in front of her eye's had widened. "People will think all these horrible things. That I've been screwing you this entire time. That I've been fighting the urge."

"…well, haven't you?..."

"Someone will start a rumor I'm pregnant just before graduation. I'll never see any of these idiots again to deny it either.

"My brother will probably be the one to spread it. God."

"Okay, Juuhachigou." The small teenager looked almost heroically grim and sad. She remembered when he was an abnormally short awkward kid that came up to the ribcages and shoulders of the other kids. Then him sprouting up one summer so he didn't have to strain to look you in the eyes so much, and eased up on so many sarcastic bitter remarks. Though now he fretted about having a deep meaningful relationship, a real connection, with a girlfriend, and flushed whenever any girl smiled at him. "I'll do it."

"Oh, never mind," she glanced at the clock. "Class is nearly over with anyway. I'm sure people will probably start to forget about Bulma's horrible message."

"No, no!" He actually slammed a fist down on the desk which made the other student jump and look around. "It's not fair what happened. You don't feel that way. You shouldn't be shamed by everyone!"

"Yeah, but then I need a scapegoat and all that. I'll just wait for someone to do something stupid and embarrassing." Juuhachigou shrugged, running a finger against her thumb's nail.

"Not for long." Krillin squared his chin and shoulders, and ran out of the building with his bags clomping besides him. All he needed was a cape.

She shook her head, gathered her own belongings, and continued to her next class. But she felt less awful about the situation, more inclined towards seeing it how Bulma had wanted her to. He knew, everyone knew, and now she didn't have to hide and fret like a completely paranoid whether or not someone had seen her staring at him in shorts. There were benefits. And later, if she felt less like heaving at the mere thought, she and Krillin could well, give that movie idea a go. It couldn't be so bad. A few hours spent in a dark place staring at a screen with Krillin, who would definitely never go so far without touching her hand without permission.

The overhead speakers began to crackle and pop and a distant thud was heard. Like everyone else in the herd, Juuhachigou looked upward.

"Hi, I uh, it's Krillin. The one on the football team. Not that there's a lot of those—"

There was another heavy dreamy thud.

"But, anyway. Since everyone here is so interest in hearing about people's personal live, I'm here to tell everyone a few secrets. About myself. I'm offering myself as human bait for everyone to pick on and move away from…others.

"It's fine. I'm willing to act as a martyr for a better cause."

Oh god oh god ohgodohogodohshit

"So, um. I've had crushes on just about all my female friends and acquaintances. I enjoy writing and reading poetry. My foster father has an unhealthy obsession with porn I have managed to overcome.

"Oh. Didn't mean to make that pun. Most Halloweens I eat enough chocolate to puke, yet can't stop doing that every year. Once I got drunk and called all my friends to spill my guts out to them. So this is familiar ground to them."

At her locker, Bulma looked down at her shoes, lost in some memory. Vegeta had a certain grim acknowledgement in his face. Others were recalling their own pasts. There was less and less giggling.

"I've gone an entire month homeless and didn't talk to anyone for two whole weeks. I tried to grow a beard, that failed. What else…"

Don't mention her. Just don't. Please.

"I've had weird thoughts about other guys once or twice. Nothing acted out on, but just floating around there. In the back of my mind. Er. Don't think that's all that weird. Maybe. Maybe? Who hasn't had gay thoughts?

"Dunno. When I was fifteen, I measured my penis every day for six months. And I have a bad rash and some really bad zits on my back. And a scar on my butt from when I was a kid and Goku bit me. He was sleeping and that's what he does."

Nearby, Chi-Chi's dark head was nodding unconsciously towards the speakers.

At least he wasn't talking about her. The thudding was getting heavier, and you could hear yells from somewhere nearby. People coming in to stop him. To drag him away and turn him over to the school shrink and held up as a witness for what school bullying did to a person. People would talk about him in hushed tones, and when he left the school, he'd become an urban myth. The Kid That Went Crazy and Ranted To The Everyone About His Messed Up Life.

You could hear the door splintering, the snarls of the principal, the grunts of the security guard. "Oh, and to make it fairer, Bulma and Vegeta have been going out secretly for three months now. That's all everyone!"

**129. Silent treatment—"I want you to notice when I'm not around."**

Maybe he had been spending too much with the Sons, with Chi-Chi, because Krillin now had a whole new way of punishing her. And it wasn't like the pouting, or the angry remarks, or that time he'd run to Bulma and made the scientist yell at Juuhachigou for him. No, this time he had discovered something _effective_.

He just looked at her.

Blankly, dully, like she was a new stain on the carpet.

Krillin didn't even say anything to her when he was upset. Just stared at her a little, his mouth shut and not even pursed.

At first, she had just laughed his silly attempt at getting under the skin off. Oh, so he wanted to pretend she didn't exist? Who was he kidding? _Who_ was he trying to kid? It was _her_, the woman who ignored her brother twenty three hours and fifty seven minutes out of the day, who had avoided Krillin for six months while the short fighter had been sharing a house with her. Who could dodge a perverted hermit's attempts at making a disgusting remark and was quick enough to leap away from the shapeshifting pig's tries at double-entandre.

_This was so pitiful, even for Krillin_. She had laughed and gone back to her book/magazine/movie.

At first.

The second week passed by strained, spent by clutching her tensed aching stomach. By the third she was literally chasing him down, kicking him and grabbing him the hair. Like some deranged abusive spouse, she had to admit. Master Roshi and Oolong stared at her, like their worst fears had been confirmed, judging. Judging her with their knowing eyes.

But it was his fault! For…not speaking! Just because she'd mocked his t-shirt! And he would continue on with his life, acting like everything was normal, when she would leave the room or even the house. 'Hey, Master. Boy, has it been hot lately.' He was a sick, sick man.

"Talk to me! Say something!

"Anything, damn you!"

Yet he still held his tongue, even as his hands went to cup a newly bruised part of his anatomy.

**130. Initiation/ Hazing**

Apparently, despite how angry both could get, Juuhachigou was nothing like Chi-Chi. And Goten knew it.

He hadn't stopped weeping since Juuhachigou had picked him up to comfort him, which wore away at the blonde. How could she be so inhuman as to make a baby sob every time she spoke to it? How could a baby, hardly more than a few months old, know to squirm and weep at her slightest touch?

Eventually, her terror that she would not murder Goku but his infant son instead, turned to hatred for the rest of the group. They'd left her to _this_. The only one who'd shown any pity was Vegeta, for Kami's sake, and that was probably from him remembering taking care of his own child. He had only given her a shocking saddened look that lasted no longer than two seconds. But it was still more than the other's had.

The bastards. All she'd wanted was to get along with them. Not as friends, but not as enemies either.

Goten wouldn't eat, then he would be ravenous, except really he needed his diaper changed. And he hated all his toys, but needed to have them near. To throw at her with startling accuracy and strength.

"It's not like _I_ was the one to kill Goku," she told the baby. "Even though I was programmed to do so. But I didn't do it. Even though I wanted to."

Goten was unmoved.

Juuhachigou washed another spoonful of puréed carrots from her hair, and thought of calling Krillin. He would know what to do. If there was someone who should have a dozen kids to comfort, it was him. Littler humans seemed to love him; crawling on him and begging him to play, or just giggling as he made ridiculous faces at them. Her hand stroked the phone as Goten began to cry again.

She'd been lied to.

No way was babysitting an 'initiation' into their sad, misfit group of heroes. Then she remembered Bulma's sly look. "Or," A shrug. "I guess you could marry into the group." A wink.

Juuhachigou put down the phone, and picked up Goten's bottle again.

Her back was turned to him, and her voice was steel and velvet. "Perhaps we got off on a bad start. Maybe you should understand that I am not your mother, who will do whatever you want."

Juuhachigou turned around, wielding the bottle not unlike a machete. After he seemed to get a good look at her with tiny black eyes that probably couldn't take much in, Goten went quiet. He dragged himself away from her, pulling soft stuffed animals closer to him for comfort.

They watched each other closely.

Later, when his mother came home, the first thing Chi-Chi did was to gather the infant to her chest, marveling, "He's so quiet! Usually he's the fussiest thing.

"You're so good with him!

"Do you want to watch him again?"

**131. Please, stop**

Her brother fell to his knees, dry sobbing, hands outstretches as he begged for mercy. "Please, please, you have to knock it off."

His sister barely spared a pause in nuzzling Krillin besides her on the couch. "You can just leave, you know."

**132. Sunglasses**

She had to laugh at the sight of Krillin solemnly sitting next to her, the old man's glasses seated comfortably on his face. Somehow. Despite the lack of nose. He looked as sober as someone at a funeral, despite the jolly blue-red of his swimming trunks. His mouth a straight narrow line. Where his eyes were, only he and Dende knew.

Since she was seated in her own bathing suit, this was cause for alarm. All she saw was the smooth inkiness of glass. Anywhere. Looking anywhere.

"Gimme those.**"**

**133. Compliment**

"Well," she shrugged one shoulder. "I guess you look better."

Considering he hadn't grown his hair out since he was a very small child, hadn't even been so sure he could fully grow a head of hair, this was a bit of a letdown. He had wanted thunder and lightning to rain from the sky, Dende to part clouds and wave that staff he'd gotten from Kami down impressively, the ground to open up and the sea to part. He, Krillin, was standing in front of Juuhachigou, talking to her, and they both had hair. There was eye contact. This_ was_ inspiring; no matter what the elements around them said.

A leaf blew by with all the enthusiasm Vegeta showed towards Bulma's tax forms. Krillin was willing to accept that as a sign that the world was impressed with him and his new hairstyle.

**134. Devious**

It wasn't something that she'd ever brag about, but she was willing to own up to how she'd finally stolen Krillin away from that boring, stable, gracious girlfriend. As much as a person could be stolen. Lured. _Lured_ away from his previous girlfriend until he could barely call the other girl (a psych major too) back. He would spent his Saturday nights with her, staring at her, laughing, joking, unable to tear himself away. How she would quietly give the impression that she cared little for the girl, in tiny nudges and unenthusiastic smiles when the girl was mentioned.

And she was also healthy enough to admit that she too had a problem separating herself from his presence and when one of her foster 'brothers' would ask her about the guys in her life, she would go blank-faced and refused to say a word.

Like they had created their own little world where no one else was able to trespass upon. Even if that world consisted of watching movies and wondering what the other person was thinking about, and their hand was right there, just waiting to be grabbed and held until they were both sweating and weak-knees and stomachs twitching and stupidly happy.

So, what if she'd maybe said in an offhand manner that maybe he and that girlfriend of his didn't seem to be spending much time together, what was up with that, and were they even still going out, because personally, she wasn't too sure about that girl. That she'd been the one to hand him the phone to make the final phone call to her and pull the trigger with nary a backwards glance except at he, waiting as patient as any skilled predator would. And after the words had left his mouth, her grabbing the phone's receiver to slam down and immediately jump him because now it was okay, right, he was as single as her.

That, none of that was exactly_ illegal_, now, was it?

**135. Dust**

He leaned too hard against the door. That was the problem.

In his clenched hands, Krillin held the rag as though it might save him from Juuhachigou's wrath. She had, to be fair, never told him to come into her room. It was an unspoken rule. The blonde, moody woman did not _need_ to tell anyone to never come into her room.

You would no more enter her room than start breathing underwater. Only someone stupid and unable to understand her on any level would do such a thing.

And here he was, staring at her sleeping form on the bed, the artless tumble of white-gold hair and the outstretched limbs and the peaceful, innocent face. In pajamas she would never have allowed him to view her in. All vulnerable and human, and in hot clinging pink that was absurd and adorable, how could she have picked out those clothes, and now he was giggling, and she was totally, totally going to kill him for this.

At least the doorknob was now clean.

**136. Butterflies**

They looked at each other over Juurokugou's huge shoulders. It was a surprised, wary sort of stare. What are _you _doing here? Between the benches, tension filled the air. On her bench, the wood was half raised off the ground from the other android's weight. On his bench, the seats were nearly cracking from the weight of Goten's baby bag.

So.

So.

Goten and Gohan stumbled by. The little toddler running towards the huge green-and-black figure like he was a jungle gym, practically jumping over the ducks that fought for bread at the foot of the other bench. Juurokugou held the boy, staring at him, having his hair tugged at while the child's older brother hardly seemed to notice his flying leap at the android.

"Oooh, look at the butterflies."

**137. "Me, You, and Steve."**

She smiled at him, and was not the least bit embarrassed by doing so. Who would judge her for smiling at the man sitting across the table from her, a candle separating them? Who in turn smiled back and clearly enjoyed her company and admired her. Probably enjoyed her clinging black silk dress she'd spent an alarming amount of time and money picking out. For him. In hopes that, well, he would look at her like was doing now. Obviously enamored.

So much in fact that he had to invite his pig of a best friend who sat at his right side, stuffing his face until even his ridiculous hair had crumbs in it. Even here, at such a nice, romantic dinner, he had to bring his moronic friend with him.

Goku was waving over the waiter for more breadsticks. She stared at him taking in the trail of destruction on his plate, Krillin's total ease, the chill on her back from this stupid dress. This was what her night was to consist of. The night like so many others. And her brother used to tease her about coming home from 'dates' with Krillin, asking if she'd punched his V card and other horrible remarks until he sensed that she in fact _wasn't_ pinning Krillin down in the back of his crappy old red car. Now he looked at her reaching for her coat as she headed out with something close to pity.

It wasn't so bad at the sporting events, even when Goku's enthusiasm to catch a stray ball would knock over the popcorn and soda. Because at least Krillin had someone to yap to about the boring game before them rather just having her nod her head and look at her watch. Even later she'd enjoyed the buffer in case Krillin tried to do anything. Then she wanted him to do something, anything. Just lean over and grab her hand. Please. Please? But goddamnit, enough was enough. Here, why here did he bring Goku? Krillin, look around, do you see a lot of people just hanging out in some fancy restaurant like this? No. There weren't even more than two people at the tables because it was supposed to be…quixotic? They were clearly going for a certain mood, what with all the red and candlelight.

She'd thought the signals had been clear, the blushing and stammer, the nervous gentle way he looked at her and followed her around like a puppy. If it wasn't romantic, then it was just insane.

…which would explain quite a few things. Krillin had always been a strange guy, laughing uneasily, always quick to put himself down, to quick to take on extra work at the office Bulma would send down. Walking up to her even when she was in a bad moon and brandishing paperwork, while the others with more sense ran and hid beneath the furniture in their offices or in bathroom stalls or in supply closets. Even Vegeta, a real cannibal before a judge and jury, would shove his spiky head down as he held the bathroom stall shut and tried not to fall off the toilet he huddled upon. She'd actually met Krillin after running and shutting a closet door behind her, and realizing only after she'd turned around and sighed in relief, that she wasn't alone.

**138. "Never again would they dare to call me insane."**

The short man did his best not to preen, or look to smug. But his friends' shocked faces at seeing him with his fingers casually interlocked with Juuhachigou's, their open, perfect O mouths and large eyes. Their gasp when they kissed, and Juuhachigou's annoyed, mystified glare at them that made them flinch.

Later, they would corner him, one-by-one before teaming up to demand an explanation. Bulma would whisper and asked for her dragon radar back, how could he have stolen it without her knowing? Yamcha would grab him by the shoulders and ask what Krillin had blackmailed Juuhachigou with. Vegeta would subtly raise a bowl of noodles in his direction, the only sign of marginal respect he'd ever given to the shorter man.

Chi-Chi would whisper that she didn't know what game Krillin was playing with that poor girl, but he should be ashamed of himself. Later, she would throw a pot at Juuhachigou's head when she realized who the mysterious blonde woman was.

Piccolo didn't seem to care much, besides a grumbled, well I guess that's one way to beat them.

But now, he would just savor their shock. Appreciate the way Juuhachigou smiled at him, and responded to his kisses. Enjoy the others' gaping and taking turns pinching each other to realize that this wasn't a dream.

Krillin was a kind soul to his friends. He wouldn't rub his victory in their faces; he didn't need to**.**

**139. Rakshasa**

Krillin had always believed in Goku. The greatest savior that Earth had ever known always had done his best to forgive. No matter whether or not he was dead, or injured, Goku was always trusted and the once monk had done his best to follow the bigger man's example.

But, as he looked into her eyes, her beautiful nothing eyes, the stained cuffs of her long shirt, what lay behind her, Krillin now understood that he was not Goku, and this woman was not someone he could save.

Her laugh was throaty, and how could she now be human, how could she have done this, how could she laugh?

"What," her head was cocked to the side, and hair fell into her eyes. The clownish, playful smile twisted his lips. "Did you think I would join you? That you're little speech would change how I felt about you?

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for these pitiful beings that can't even fight to save themselves?

"You're disgusting, _human_."

Now, now he understood.

**140. On thin ice**

The phrase, 'in the doghouse' had never meant much to her before now. It had been a phrase they'd use to describe Vegeta and Bulma's relationship, when one of them would crash at either Kame House or at Chi-Chi's. But now she could sympathize with their plight of having a pissed off lover yelling at you and refusing to let you sleep in your previously agreed upon half of the bed.

All she'd done was make one Goku joke!

...One Goku joke too many, actually.

But she refused to apologize. Goku _was_ a bad husband/father who might or might not suffer from some form of mental disorder and enjoyed playing Russian Roulette with everyone's lives. Why should she feel bad for saying that, the truth? Was Krillin not a defender of the wronged, the hero of the just, the savior of the innocent?

And he was supposed to be her boyfriend/significant other/friend! He was supposed to agree with the things she said and take her side in disagreements. They weren't Vegeta and Bulma, who would disintegrate into arguments over whether or not the specks of skins in the mashed potatoes was good or not until one of them would storm from the room. Previously, whenever they'd get into an argument, they'd calm down after ten minutes and he'd go back to hold her hand and she would act all reluctant but finally agree.

Still, apparently he had a line that she couldn't cross. All she'd done is describe Goku as a 'worse father than even Vegeta' and an possible illiterate who had the 'lights on upstairs but no one home.' But Krillin had hit the ceiling.

"He died to save everyone!"

"Because he was too dim to teleport right back and leave Cell by himself. He didn't _have_ to die. And it didn't even work."

"You have no right to criticize him! I bet he'd get along with you."

"Well. I guess we'll never know."

Which r_eally _set him off. "Are you mocking his death!"

Right now, this should have been the moment where she just stopped. Shook her head and said, no, I know how much you cared about the guy, and that well, she just had a hard time with Goku since, after all, she had been programmed to kill him. That would have been the wise thing. So of course she just kept overestimating Krillin's patience and continued on.

Even something like, 'well, all I'm saying is he didn't have to die' would have been better.

"Why, yes, yes I am." Then she'd laughed. "Was he really that desperate to escape Chi-Chi? Just_ that_ determined to avoid having to get a job?"

"Goku loves his family."

"Loved. Supposedly. And you'd never know it, the way he treats them. He has a second kid he'll never even see. What the hell was he thinking having another kid like that?

"Speaking of which, what the hell was wrong with him shoving Gohan out there to fight Cell. And giving that monster a Senzu bean?"

"Goku was a honorable man who always tried doing the best! I can't believe—don't insult him. You didn't even know him."

"I know that_ Piccolo'_s going to be those kids' father figure."

"He would have saved you!"

"Well, considering he knew about Gero creating the androids ahead of time, and did nothing to stop him, I don't think he would have."

"What are you talking about?"

"If he'd stopped Gero, maybe my brother and I wouldn't have been turned into cyborgs."

"Goku didn't know about that! Not the exact details."

"Why are you taking his side?"

"Why are you attacking him?"

"I'm your girlfriend, not him. Not _anymore_!"

Right around here, the pig and the old man put down whatever they'd been holding and began creeping from the room. Like they could sense this was the end of the line, and to just leave before something horrible happened. It should have been a clue for her to stop.

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means! I'm not going to compete for your affections with a dead man!"

"Goku and I were just—what are you insinuating?"

"He's dead. And you're protecting him still."

"I'm a loyal friend."

"He doesn't need you protecting his honor. Damnit, Krillin, I'm the person who you're sleeping with. You take my side, not his."

His face had been turning red, with anger or embarrassment. "Don't tell me who I'm supposed to _side _with."

"Who do you care about more, him or me?"

"So, what, I'm not supposed to have any friends?"

"You can be friends with whomever you want, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Vegeta, Piccolo, Gohan...but not him. I chose _you_ over Juunanagou." Although her brother hadn't exactly given her some ultimatum. He'd mostly just been disappointed in her, which she hadn't wanted to deal with and that's what drove her to Krillin's house. "You think he was happy about me being with you?"

"This isn't a choice! I can honor Goku's memory, and still...well, it's not like _you_ killed the guy. I'm sure you wouldn't have actually murdered the guy...Juuhachigou?"

"...I don't know. Maybe if I wanted you to myself..."

"What does that mean?"

"You two were always...close."

The dark eyes she was growing so fond of were huge. "Stop joking about stuff like that."

"I'm just saying, well, he turned Super Saiyan after you'd died. I saw that movie about the astronauts and their secret lives from their wives."

"..._what_?"

"I breathe easier knowing he's dead. For a variety of reasons."

"You're not being funny."

"I'm not joking."

"This is not a conversation we're having."

"Oh, yes, it is. I'm not going to compete with your attention with a dead man. A _blonde_ dead man."

"I...what? You're being so weird. Since when don't I pay attention to you? You're the damn reason he died."

"Oh. Am I?"

"If I hadn't spared you, he would still be alive."

"So, what, am I his replacement?"

"Goku and I were not like, like, you and me. And stop joking about that. It isn't funny."

"Krillin. You have a picture of the two of you, with your arms around each other's shoulders, smiling. By your bed."

"Oh, come on!"

"That's what you go to bed seeing. That's what you wake up to."

"I'm not talking to you until you become sane!"

Which is pretty much exactly what he'd done, only yelling at her when she'd come to bed that night, saying that he didn't want her there. And she'd yelled right back, oh right, have to keep the space clear for Goku!

"Get out!" "You get out!" "I was here first!""Fine! You took up all the covers and sheets anyway!" "Fine! You snored and kept me awake anyway!"

She'd nearly strangled him, but decided to just knock over the picture of him and Goku (_one_ of the pictures) before stomping downstairs. The living room had never been so uncomfortable and desolate. Cold. All the shadows would shift with every blink and made her imagine the perverts waiting until she'd passed out to try groping her. At least upstairs Krillin was there to rip off any arms she might not notice when trying to sleep.

It was pathetic to admit, but she even missed stupid stuff like waking up to his stupid slack face, spooning against his warm back, the way he swatted at the air when he had night terrors. Without being able to fall asleep with her head against his bumpy scalp, hearing his muffled cries during a nightmare, it was hard to fall asleep. To say nothing of the more serious issues, like wanting to jump him when he was near, regardless of the others being around, or having to force her way through small talk with Oolong and Master Roshi out of boredom or calling her smug bastard of a twin who wanted to hear about 'trouble in paradise.'

What she wanted really, was for Bulma to make her a time machine so she could just hop back and take everything back. Slap her stupid past self to get her to shut up and not make comments about Krillin and Goku's friendship, to just let that lie still.

The insomnia was driving her insane, for the first time ever. And she simply missed sleeping in a room, with walls for privacy rather than having to duck into the bathroom to change. And it would be nice to get her clothes from the drawer slowly, like a normal person, rather than ducking into the room when he wasn't in and grabbing things like she was on a game show and the audience was howling for her to grab more socks. It was becoming increasingly harder to remember why she'd been so angry.

Why couldn't she just say 'I'm sorry' and hold his hand? Beg for forgiveness, 'I should never have talked about your friend that way' and give him a big hug? 'Oh god, I'm so sorry, I take it back, I don't care what you and Goku were and what you did and you can put up a giant oil painting of the man in our bedroom, and please dear Kami just speak to me in complete sentences and please let's make up now. Right in front of that picture of you and Goku, I don't care.'

But to even bring up the other man's name would probably not help matters. He was still cold to her, avoiding being in the same room as her and making sure not to be left alone with her at all. "Hey, where are you guys going? The store? I'll come with you?" How long until she overheard, "The strip club? I'll go get my jacket?" or "Singles' night at the bar? I'll be right there!"?

While Juuhachigou slowly broke into pieces and was possibly having a breakdown. The thought of going to some strip club or meeting someone else was impossible to not toy with. It was the ulcer she had to prod and stab at. Already, she could see herself going after the smallish guys with short hair and dark eyes, trying not to call them Krillin, having to lie about her own name rather than risk explaining her life life and what she was...

Which was a mess.

This was what Juunanagou had warned her of. Sneering, telling her that she would outlive Krillin, and the guy was an ugly bald shrimp, and that she should at least go for someone who could look her in the eye. Which was very ironic in light of him refusing to look her straight in the eye with any emotion, anymore. It had taken so long to get him to stare at her without turning red and choking…

She snapped when they were all sitting around the couch, watching TV. For once, he was sitting near to hear, but was completely ignoring her. Seeing him holding the remote brought out all these memories, and had her leaning towards him. A_ weak_ mess. One that found it impossible to grab his hand while the other one went to grab his chin and hold him still for a long smothering kiss that went on long enough to make him turn blue and for the others to start cheering. He just stared at her, confused.

Oolong was heaving in relief. "Oh thank god."

"So does this mean you two have forgiven each other?

**141. Hands**

The two separate, pretty delicate hands waving in the air made Krillin say, aloud, his first thought, "What the hell?" He sat there and stared at the two competing people, confusion, frightened. Feeling now like more and less than meat as he had before those two had begun upping the price. A piece of sweaty meat in a plain black suit inspected under harsh lights by at least fifty wealthy, usually older well-heeled people sitting around. And a pair of android twins with strange, similar tastes.

It was for charity, however, so there was nothing to be done for it. Bulma had practically shoved him into it, you're single, you're desperate for a girlfriend, and it's for a _good cause_!

A bachelorette's auction hadn't been the place he'd expected to see Juuhachigou again. And when he'd imagined this moment, aside from not having a woman reel off numbers nearby, the blonde android hadn't looked like she had lockjaw. You could nearly hear her grinding her teeth all the way to the stage. Nor was her brother supposed to be there, grinning like some sick deviant, and reminding the meet of how cocked hands motioning for him to come closer.

Every time she bumped the price up, her brother was right there behind her, adding in, "and a dollar."

She stared at Krillin, finally looking him fully, taking in the sheen of sweat on his forehead that fell to darken his collar. Really considering him, with those pale unnatural beautiful eyes. Just like her twin's. Then she put her hand down.

**142. Would you Rather…?**

"Kiss a frog, or go on a date with Krillin?"

"Frog."

"Spend a day tied to Vegeta, or make out with Krillin for five minutes? Not that he could survive that long, what with missing the nose."

She gave a sharp inhale, and rubbed her chin. "…Vegeta."

"Eat at Chi-Chi's, or have a romantic dinner with Krillin."

"Ooh. Hard one. But going with dinner with the angry pregnant widow."

"Get eaten by Cell again, or—no, I'm not going to say that. I just grossed myself out right there."

"Wow. You are revolting. I'd rather talk to Krillin than hear your voice again."

"You two are the worst, just the _worst _people to go camping with? Why can't we exchange scary stories?"

"Those _were _scary."

"Okay, okay. So these two people, brother and sister are driving around through the woods. And then they hear this horrible noise, like a chicken being strangled. Hehahahchaha. Like that. So they stop and look around.

"Nothing there. Anywhere. They get back into their sweet-ass van with a nice custom paintjob of a dragon on the side breathing fire. And then they drive away.

"But the noises keep haunting them. Ahehehcheha. What was that, where was it coming from? It followed them for miles.

"Slowly, they realized! It was coming from _inside the car_!

"And then he was there! This dwarf thing, like something from a Lynch movie! In the backseat! Trying to make time with the guy's sister!"

"Krillin. Tell a real scary story."

"-Are you claiming that my story was not at all terrifying?"

"There was once a kind, wise monk. He was calmly minding his own business. Meditating. Close to enlightenment. But then, he was abducted by two drunk, disorderly twins who pretended to be his friend and lured him into their tacky van."

"We weren't drunk. _Very_ drunk."

"How dare you. My van is the nicest thing you've ridden in."

"What happened next, shrimp?"

"They took him 'camping,' in the woods. Where it was full of places to hide another body."

"So they murdered him?"

"On the inside, at least."

"Okay. My turn."

**143. Virgin**

Juuhachigou, perhaps because she was a cyborg, or perhaps because she was simply Juuhachigou, kept asking him the weirdest questions. She seemed to understand basic human interaction. She could tell one person from another, and definitely could read other people's faces and see what they wanted. With a simple glance, the slim blonde knew to tell his Master off and to scare the pig before either of them could grab at him.

But with Krillin, Juuhachigou seemed to take a peculiar delight in making him uncomfortable.

He would sit on the couch, flipping through the channels, and Juuhachigou would sit beside him flipping through a magazine. Then she would shove it into his face. "What's this position called?"

His yell would be muffled by the pages. "Oh, Kami."

The blonde woman pulled the magazine away. "Really? Someone named a sexual position after him?" She looked at the picture carefully. "I guess it must be pretty good then."

And he would choke and have to use the remote controller to the TV to hit his chest until he could breathe.

In the movie theater, where Juuhachigou peered at the couples around them, curious:

'Why did I think it was a good idea to bring her to a romantic movie?' Krillin had long enough to ask himself. Immediately the answer came to him: because I thought it might be romantic. Then she was whispering politely in his ear as to not disrupt the other movie goers.

"Why are they doing that?"

He peered around the theater. "What?"

She pointed out one pair in particular. "That. I get why her hands down his pants, and why his hands are up her shirt, but why in a theater? Is it some_ thrill_ thing?"

"Stop staring at them," the short man hissed, wishing she would just watch the movie and eat some overpriced popcorn. She got why they were doing it. Did she think about that stuff? Did she want someone to do that with? Oh god. Calm down. In the darkness, with a romantic movie playing, with Juuhachigou at his side. Calm down.

"Why, isn't that what they want?"

"No, they want privacy!"

"Then why are they here? Do they think no one can see them?"

Eventually, the couple pawing at each other realized they were being watched. They turned to look at the other pair, and Krillin sheepishly smiled and gave them a sorry wave. My...friend, she has problems with social norms. Like all his friends, really. But they didn't watch strangers make out. As far as Krillin knew.

Juuhachigou just stared at them. "Are you two into people watching you having sex?"

They finally left, aghast and probably wondering what they'd escaped from. Her casual tone could have been indicating how rude they were, or propositioning for a chance to watch them.

"I wonder," she whispered to him, straight-faced. "If they've tried the Kami position."

Never before had he wished for a flask. One filled with something strong enough to make him pass out right then and there. She would have probably have left him there though, drunk and groggy and confused. Or taken his wallet, and then left him there, drunk and groggy and confused.

Again he would wish for that magic flask (could he ask the Eternal dragon for one?) as Juuhachigou suddenly sat across from him at the table. Krillin looked at her suspiciously, while Master Roshi leered at her from his place in the kitchen. His pupil gave him a sharp look to remind him that it was his turn to make dinner, and maybe he should get back to cutting those tomatoes.

"All your friends are married, or in relationships. Even the dumb, scarred one."

"The dumb scarred one has a name, you know."

"And a girlfriend."

Krillin looked at her, feeling tension tightening his neck muscles. "Yes, okay, he has a girlfriend."

"But you don't. You don't have many relationships with females."

Master Roshi's knife went_ thump, thump_, steadily. Matching Krillin's heartbeat. Was this good, or bad? Juuhachigou seemed thoughtful. Was there any dim chance that she might now say, 'and that's a good thing, because I want to have a relationship with you'?

"Are you more attracted to males?"

His head hit the table quicker than it took his Master to stop using his knife on the bright vegetable (fruit?) on the cutting board. He sighed for a long time, knowing that all this was somehow right. No, Juuhachigou would never like him the same way he cared for her. But how she had come to this conclusion was a mystery.

Was there something about him that gave off a signal, or was it just that he didn't have a lot of luck with girls? His voice, his clothes, his sense of humor? "No, Juuhachigou, I am not into men."

She cocked her bright head to the side. "What about Goku?"

The old turtle hermit was coughing frantically. Krillin wondered if it was rude or not to suggest aloud that perhaps her wiring was faulty. "No, neither is Goku."

"I mean," She explained politely, "that you and Goku were not a couple?"

"No! Kami, _no_!"

"You two never did the 'kami'?" How could she ask such a thing so tonelessly?

"_What_? Of course not!"

His master seemed to not want to know what exactly she was talking about. But still he had to stare. Slowly, he turned away from the tomatoes. He looked at them with more gravity than was necessary.

Juuhachigou shrugged. "You and Goku did nothing else sexual then?"

His voice rose until it was near hysterics. "Nothing! No! _Never_!" Even while his mind went back to the mud wrestling, the skinny dipping, the sharing of beds, the easy way they got along. No. That was just two men being friends. Best friends.

But did she have information on those moments to draw her (wrong) ideas from?

Her forehead creased. "You two are very close. I've never seen anyone so devoted to him the way you are outside people in relationships. Even his own wife insults and degrades that man."

"I'm his friend. I stick up to him. I'm loyal."

"More than his wife."

"Maybe, but you know Chi-Chi."

"Still." She shifted. "Bulma and Vegeta, who are married, fight more than you did with Goku."

"Well, that was only after we became friends. Before, I hated him."

A small smile appeared and disappeared from her face. "You did?"

"Of course. I thought he was some inbred moron, he couldn't even count past ten or read a full sentence."

That brief smile flashed again. Enough to make his insides watery and refracted and knees to weaken. Oh god. Calm down.

"But then I saw all his good sides, and-"

"Fell in love?" Juuhachigou suggested.

Krillin's own sentence ended with a squeak. She definitely did not mean brotherly love.

She shrugged, like this was an nothing event and totally understandable, an event that had been going on so long it was no longer worth commenting on. Which it _never, never, ever_ had.

"I like women!" _I can prove it!_ Then he would launch himself across the table to grab her hand and kiss her. Cup a cheek that was certainly smooth and warm and pull her closer. Touch the bright hair, and have her kiss him back.

Oh, oh god. Calm down. Please._ This is just depressing._

Sometimes, his other friends would say that he was a little too loyal to Goku, but never had he been accused of being in love with the larger man.

My god, did people think that? Did someone wonder? Was this the reason why he was so single? Was this how he got Maron, because she couldn't even remember Goku's name? Why had no one told him this? Just a polite heads up, he wouldn't have been very offended, 'Hey, man, maybe you shouldn't have that picture of you and Goku with your arms around each other's shoulders. Or talk about him so much, and sound so awed by him. People might get the wrong impression.' And he would have changed, immediately.

"It's natural, I suppose. You were close. Humans do that." Bizarrely, the slim woman appeared empathetic. "I suppose it must have been hard for you when he got married."

Krillin looked up at her with huge eyes. "Are you joking? Are you just kidding me?"

"You mean to say it was very difficult for you? Are you being sarcastic?"

"No! Yes, I mean, sort of. Because I would miss him as a friend. Just a friend. That's all we were. And," Krillin added before she could get any idea. "That's all I wanted to be with him."

"You _only_ like woman then?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Hm. I have to tell my brother that..."

"What?"

"And you never a period of…" she paused, searching for a word that he was sure would make his stomach fall out. "Experimentation? Humans also do that a lot. And at a young age. I don't have any files for much of your time as a teenager."

Indeed, his stomach was somewhere near his feet. He could have kicked it away from himself in disgust. "No, I only like woman. Only. At all times."

"And you want to get married, is that right?"

One spot of danger had been passed, but here came the poisoned darts. "I suppose."

"Then why aren't you?"

And the quicksand. "I haven't met the right person yet." Did his voice express any disappointment or agitation or signs of lying? What else was there to say? 'Oh, I met someone I think I'm in love with. Who is she? Well, _you_. But I don't think you want to marry me.' That would go well. He was a little tempted to do it, if only for the relief of getting that off his chest, as well as trying to put her feet to the fire.

Let her be uncomfortable. Let her be rattled.

But then she would leave and never want to talk to him again.

"You were engaged before. But," the slightest bit of humor crept into her voice. "You _broke up_ with her."

"Why so surprised…Why does no one believe I can dump someone?"

"If you say so, Krillin." She stared at something in the distance, and he scratched at his chin. He hadn't shaved that morning, his head or his face, and he could feel the small stubble beginning to show. Juuhachigou hadn't known about his shaving habits, (why did everyone forget that as well?) and had stared at him flabbergasted when he'd come down to breakfast. Her curiosity was too scientific for it to be construed as any romantic intentions.

'Is it real?'

Still, he'd almost offered to let her touch his head. So he could at least go to his grave with that much.

"So, did you consummate this relationship?"

Somewhere, between this morning, and this evening, he had hit his head. Maybe he was dying and since he no longer fought, this was heaven. Or hell. Or he was just laying on the ground, unconscious, and dreaming this all up. Or maybe someone had slipped something into his food, and he was hallucinating? There was no version of reality where Juuhachigou would sit in his kitchen and ask whether or not he'd had...sexual relations with his ex-girlfriend.

After a minute of silence, Juuhachigou poked his chest. "_Did_ you?"

"That's none of your business." Krillin's voice broke. He'd never said anything even mildly rude or defensive when they were alone, or basically alone with no witnesses. Juuhachigou would tear the eyes from the old man's skull to guarantee he would not tell anyone what happened here in this kitchen.

"I'm going to take that as a no."

"You're making me very uncomfortable." He told her, honestly.

Juuhachigou burst into laughter. An unwanted grin tugged at his lips. There was something about her being happy that made everything better. No matter if she was happy about your own suffering; the day looked brighter.

"So, are you still a virgin?"

When he moved his gaze from hers, Krillin realized that Master Roshi had long since taken off. "I don't suppose he paid you to get out of him having to make dinner?"

"No."

"Okay then."

"Going to answer the question?"

"Eventually."

"I can wait."

"Are you?"

"A virgin?" Juuhachigou shrugged. His hands were numb and his throat tight. "I have no idea. As far as I can remember, I've never slept with anyone. But are you?"

She was just as inexperienced as him. Why was that somehow cute to him? No boyfriend, never so much as a lover. Adorable that she was so innocent. Almost hard to believe, if you didn't know what she'd been through, to hear that she wasn't going out every weekend with a different guy.

...and maybe a better chance for his own awkward attempts at flirting? No, she would still be unimpressed.

"Why does it matter?"

"I want to know."

"It's none of your business!" He certainly never badgered her about her past. Out of _respect._

"So? I want to know."

"Why!"

...Respect that she clearly did not feel towards him.

"Because I want know."

"But why?"

"Because I want to."

If he kept this up long enough, maybe a distraction would come along. Or she would grow bored.

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"But why?"

**144. Protection**

Goku's pale face was a fogged moon in her window. Juuhachigou stared at him, unsure whether or not to yell. Thankfully, her programming was so hidden and buried under reminders such as 'no, Krillin would be angry if you tried killing his friend,' and 'what would Juunanagou do? Do the opposite,' that she was able to control herself.

It wasn't worth what little satisfaction she might have blasting at his ridiculously smiling face. She couldn't really hurt him anyway, and her husband would disapprove, and her daughter was still asleep upstairs. The first time since she was pregnant, she woke up early, and_ this_ was her reward.

He knocked on the window, still grinning. "Hi, Juuhachigou!" The glass was further clouded up.

Juuhachigou sighed and made sure the coffee pot was on. "Come through the door." _You stupid ape._

"And use the door knob!"

It was even odder than waking up next to one of the heroes she'd been partially created to destroy, sitting here and having coffee, (or in his case, _juice_) with the man she definitely was created to destroy. He just smiled nicely, and offered to make breakfast. Juuhachigou nodded, still silent, and continued to nod as he talked harmlessly while he pawed through the fridge about being back on Earth (he'd missed so much!), and about his children (Gohan was so big now! And he hadn't even known about having a younger child!), and how was her own family doing?

And there was the heart of the matter. Juuhachigou took another slow sip of coffee, bitter, and burning her tongue besides.

How was she treating Krillin, and Marron, whom he probably saw as Krillin's child more than hers? Like she hadn't carried her for nine months and gone through a painful hideous delivery and then proceeded to nurse her and change her diapers. Like she wouldn't have done all that over again, because her daughter's smile was more important than anything on the planet. Or that she would still do it even if Marron never smiled, because even her child's tantrums were precious.

Were they happy, could a machine make his best friend and child happy? He hadn't even thought it was possible for her to have a child.

"They're fine," she said, keeping her voice chilled to kill the smile on the large man's face. But it refused to die, and reminded her uncomfortably of Krillin.

"Yeah, that little girl of yours…Chi-Chi was so jealous. She always wanted a little girl. You're lucky you had her instead of a boy. Or you'd be surrounded like she says she is."

"I suppose."

Eggs were broken, and he apologized when yolk and whites ran down the walls in every direction and tried to salvage what he could of the rest. "We should get the kids together this weekend. Chi-Chi says that Goten needs more friends. Especially ones that don't fight. Marron isn't a fighter, is she? You're not training her?" Goku wiped down whatever he could find that had a piece of egg shell on it.

He tossed a rasher of bacon on the frying pan. "I still can't believe you and Krillin got married. I missed that too." His cheerful voice was soft with a sentiment that made Juuhachigou want to run up the stairs to safety. She sensed emotions would be expressed. Just throw herself under the bed.

"He really loves you. Even I can tell.

"Krillin always wanted to get married."

There was something glinting on his face, trailing slowly down. "Oh my god," she said aloud, "Are you crying?"

The absurdly spiky-haired man wiped his cheeks with the back of a hand that could have crushed everyone on the island without any effort. Large hand, calloused and slightly misshapen by lumps and scars from being broken so many times.

It made her love Krillin's hands, small and well-shaped and so unable to harm anyone or anything. Instead of hurting someone, he used those hands to tuck his daughter into bed and would hold his wife's chin still. 'Aw, Juu, I just like looking at your eyes.' But his own eyes betrayed his words and made 'like' to simple a word. They turned 'like' into a betrayal of how he felt.

"I guess so." He was still smiling, but like the glass, his eyes were fogged over with grief. "You guys just seem so happy. Like nothing bad happened or ever will happen, you know.

"It's really nice." The lower lip of arguably the strongest person in the universe was quivering. "Ch-Chi and the boys, they're happy to see me, but it's like they keep expecting me to...to disappear."

"You're not though." Her husband's firm voice echoed through the kitchen and made her jump in shock and relief. She turned her head, seeing a head of black mussed hair and sleepy eyes. She could have embraced him. He was so short and so intelligent, and normal and familiar. His hair never looked neater. Krillin sat beside her and Juuhachigou took his hand. "You're not going to leave, Goku."

The large man kept wiping at his eyes. He flipped the bacon over with a fork. "No, I'm not. I don't want to leave them ever again." The words were a vow, and he dropped another egg into the sizzling pan. "Where's your pancake mix?"

He was all smiles, and Krillin looked so happy.

Maybe, maybe Goku wasn't so bad. True, she didn't want to spend the holidays with him and wear matching sweaters. But the sight of him didn't fill her with a murderous rage. That was a start.

"Hey, Krillin." The taller man's face was creased with concentration over his plate. His eyes darted from his friend's to Juuhachigou's.

"You never explained how an android had a baby? What's up with that? How could she get pregnant?"

**145. Couch**

"This thing is disgusting."

Krillin glanced up from his book, suddenly sure that both cyborgs had stopped by, and were talking about him. Whenever Juunanagou came by to see his sister, to try and talk her back into his half-finished cabin, they both hardly spared a glance in his direction. Usually, he was referred to as the 'short human' as opposed to the 'old human' and 'the pig.' But to hear them looking down at him and calling him disgusting wasn't too far a stretch.

But instead, there only stood Juuhachigou looking down as a goddess might upon a pigpen.

With one foot, she kicked the couch and caused the whole thing to tremble. "Look at this; it must be older than the turtle."

Which wasn't totally fair. Only lately had the couch began to show wear and tear, and most of it had to do with her. He wouldn't had spilled that cocoa had she come down the stairs with a warning and wearing something more than a t-shirt and cutoffs. Krillin wouldn't have torn the cushion with his nails had she chosen not to swim right in front of the window like that, back and forth. Those scissors would never have fallen and ripped a hole had she not chosen to curl up next to him when he was clipping grocery coupons. And definitely, he would not have knocked the entire thing over and done irrecoverable harm to the springs had she not suddenly been overcome with a sudden playfulness that made her want to spar in the living room.

"It doesn't even go with anything else in this house."

"Lot of memories on that couch though."

"What, you and your ex?"

"Aw. Me and Goku. And Launch. And Tien when he stayed here for training. And when Yamcha lived here. Oh, and that week Vegeta was kicked out of Capsule Corp and was too injured to go anywhere else. We all sat on this couch.

"And this is where Master Roshi watches his TV shows. You can't get rid of those memories."

She looked disgusted. Revolted in the full meaning of the word. "So what you're saying is, it's seen a lot of wear and tear. Disgusting wear and tear."

He patted it, on its back carefully. "It's seen the asses of the strongest fighters on the planet."

"We need to burn this thing."

**146. Bite**

There was a brief, fifteen second pause as she sunk her teeth into the vulnerable skin of his neck. A fifteen second moment where his brain went, 'What? Is she biting me? What?' Then he began yelling, and flaying to get her off him. This was not in any rule book for sparring.

It only encouraged her to loosen her grip on him with her teeth, and apply her lips and tongue to the wound, sucking and licking the spot of skin over and over again. She didn't know if it made the bite hurt less, but Krillin did collapse under her and make this choked, groaning whimper. Juuhachigou stared at his motionless face, limp with shock, counting the dots on his forehead. They always came out to six.

On the back of his neck, the bite mark was a bright irritated red.

The slim woman lowered her head to whisper in his ears. "What? This is how Bulma explained how someone should establish dominance. This is exactly what she did to Vegeta."

His fingers twitched weakly.

"…but then," Juuhachigou voiced her thoughts aloud. "Maybe that was just them?"

**147. Massage**

"Juuhachigou, really."

"Just let me-"

"I think you really pulled a muscle."

"So what?" Juuhachigou immediately swatted him away, one-handed since moving the other caused all the blood to drain from her face. "What, because my brother let you live with us, you think that gives you the right to act like our nurse?"

"Well, someone has to!" And it was true. Ever since Master Roshi tossed his depressed hind-quarters out of his house in an attempt to make Krillin more independent, and he wound up sleeping on the twin's couch, he was the one running around with Band-Aids. And bandages, scissors and thin wires, disinfectant, and thinking of something soothing to say while he wrapped or sewed all that onto one of them. Usually Juunanagou.

Juuhachigou rarely was harmed, except when she and her brother finally had enough of each other and went at it like wild wolves. The first time, Krillin had stared aghast as they wrestled and tried to strangle one another. Covering his eyes and mentally shrieking, 'oh god, the humanity! Someone stop them!' Until they finally smashed into him and sent all three falling to the floor with fresh bruises.

The next time, he just hid in the cabin and searched for the disinfectant.

He also cleaned.

Now, watching the blonde woman grimace, he understood that being a masseuse was being added to his title of caretaker. Already, it was weighed down the subtitles of: candle maker, electrician, carpenter, nurse, psychiatrist, shoe cobbler, cleaner, cook, and teamster.

Krillin was becoming very resourceful. Exactly what his Master would have wanted. Clearly, when the wizened martial artist had gone mysteriously silent over the phone as his pupil told him all about his new house, not saying a word even as the operator over the the pay phone asked Krillin for another handful more of spare change.

"Come on now, Juuhachigou. Let me take a look at it."

Her blue-eyed sharp look only egged him on.

"It's that, or wait until it gets worse. Then you have to go to a doctor."

Her blue eyes narrowed.

"Or go to Bulma's. With Vegeta maybe there."

"Fine," she turned around. "It just hurts a little."

But he knew that it must have caused her more than a little pain. Otherwise she would never show a sign of discomfort. "Okay then."

And then Krillin waited for her to make the first move. He wasn't sure if she would take her shirt off, or lift part of it up. But he knew better than to say anything or indicate anything about her undressing in any way. She would hurt both his arms far more than Juunanagou had hurt one of hers if he said, 'Okay, then, take off your shirt. And maybe your bra too, for good measure.' If she was even wearing one of those.

Using her good hand, she awkwardly lifted the back of her shirt as best she could. It was a short sleeved thing, light blue and Krillin thought flattered her eyes in particular. Of course that could never get mentioned either. Slowly, he helped her raise the fabric until he could get a better view of her injuries.

A bruise several shades darker than those eyes she and her brother's shared covered the pale arm from elbow to shoulder blade. The skin looked intact, though, no open wounds. "It's not too bad," Krillin offered, helpfully.

"The bruises aren't the worse part. I think that little bastard pulled something in my back."

He tried not to marvel at the expanse of pale porcelain skin. The scars that discolored and marked the skin, raising it in areas, only added to the charm. Why was it that seeing the imperfections on her back only made him like her more? In fact, the more he stared at them, the more Krillin was staring to appreciate them. They made her look a little _dangerous._ Like a tattoo, or piercing, but with even more meaning.

Some of the bruises were kinda deep though, now that he focused on them. He'd always thought that family and sibling, even more so when they were twins, would get along somewhat well and certainly wouldn't pommel each other at every opportunity. Maybe these two hadn't gotten that memo?

Gently, Krillin traced down her back. She shivered, and he nearly did so as well. Nurse, professional, pleasant…nurse. "Does this hurt?" His voice cracked and he moved his hand downward. Every time he touched one of her scars, she jumped a little. The rough scars were a mystery—were they from cybernetic inputs or something else? They felt lovely against his own scarred and calloused fingers.

It wasn't as though he didn't have his own marks, from various fights. _These are like that. Only from a different type of fight._ He gibbered some more to himself. _Very similar._

Being frustrated and very aware of her presence in the house (frustratingly aware) was nothing new. The first night spent here, he'd awoken from an uneasy slumber on the couch when Juuhachigou stomped into the kitchen. Only dressed in her underclothes that hid very little and caused him to fall from the couch and her to take notice of him.

It was harder to say who freaked out more: Krillin, who covered his entire face with a blanket to block out his very, very lovely view, or Juuhachigou, who ran back to her bedroom, screaming her brother's name and several choice curses. Who then wandered out in his own underwear and looked similar enough to his sister to make Krillin sigh and rub his forehead.

She was very soft, and resting near to him on the couch, back still facing him. They were alone, Juunanagou somewhere, perhaps nursing his own wounds in the woods like an animal. Never before had the couch looked so comfortable, or so large enough to sit both of them.

He increased the pressure on her back, slowly. Morbidly, Krillin wondered if continuing to touch her gently would result in his death, or if hurting her would. If he did exactly what he wanted, wrap an arm around her and pull her into his lap, as well as touching the mussed hair that he knew from holding her while she was unconscious would be light silk.

Juuhachigou groaned something. He nearly bit through his lip when he noticed her biting her own. "Okay…that, that didn't feel terrible."

The coyness didn't help.

"What about this?"

The flaxen-haired woman nearly purred. "That's not bad either."

The dark-haired man nearly wept. "Does this hurt?"

"No. It's fine."

"What about this?"

Another dark-haired man nearly had a cardiac episode from his viewpoint in the hallway. "What the hell?

"What is _this_?

"What were you two _doing_?"

The other two people in the room were able to sudden process what they must have looked like, his hands on her back, half-holding up her shirt, the other massaging the skin. Juuhachigou leaning forward, eyes nearly closed and expectant, her pants almost sliding down an inch. Their faces must have been flushed, and guilty. Hair, opposite shades regardless, hung in their sweaty faces.

"How come," his hands, lethal and strong and fast enough to send Krillin to join his best friend before the short man knew what hit him, rested on the young man's slim hips, "She gets a massage?"

"Because I'm better than you," Juuhachigou said immediately.

"At what?"

"You name it."

Krillin breathed a sigh of relief as they bickered. He wouldn't die yet. Then a pair of layered shirt landed on his lap. Juuhachigou started to laugh, softly, at him. Juunanagou shoved her out of the way, completely away from the dark-haired man that definitely had tears in his eyes.

"Okay, now my turn."

**148. The grocery store was filled with all sorts of interesting people.**

Seeing Vegeta pricing bags of chips, doing clear mental calculations in his mind complete with face twitching, a full grocery cart in front of him was enough to make Krillin sure he was losing his mind.

To increase the unsettled feeling, the Saiyan was still in his armor, and getting some serious looks.

"Vegeta? What, what are you doing here."

His face was skull-like. "The woman…I am retrieving supplies."

"She has you doing grocery runs?" He couldn't stop the smiling cracking his face apart. "Wow. Bulma must really have you whipped!"

"What?" He looked alarmed, and made Krillin remember how literal he took things.

"You! The prince of all Saiyans and all that. Going grocery shopping! Are those coupons?"

He looked at the clippings in his hands, as though seeing them for the first time. "Yes."

"Are those diapers? Is that…is that a box of you-know-what?

"You're buying those?"

"Yes."

"Wooow."

"What of it, human?"

"Short leach. Do you have to be back at a certain time, or she'll make you sleep on the couch?"

Vegeta was strickem silent, the truth in his eyes.

"Damn. Never knew she could tame you. Hehe. Anyway, see you later. I have to get some ice cream.

"Say, maybe I'll see in the checkout line?"

But when he got to the 10 Items or Fewer line, he didn't see any short armored man with a haircut that screamed 'rage issues.' He shrugged it off, bought a TV channel guide for Oolong, and blushed and stammered around the blonde-blue-eyed checkout girl.

The entire event left his mind until a week later when he came downstairs for a bowl of late afternoon cereal.

As before, the sight of Vegeta in such a normal setting was disquieting. He sat there on the couch, back straight, face just a _wall_ with eyes and pointed nose and sneer as he watched the exercise program with Master Roshi. Who grinned and cheered at the girls, directing every non-lecherous comment at the contemptuous young man. Oolong sat at the table, watching them both nonplussed.

"This is what you Earthling call training?"

"No, hehehe, this is called relaxation!

"Would have thought you'd know a bit about it, what with living with Bulma and Dr. Briefs and all, hehaha."

It was hard not to run upstairs for a camera, or to run out the backdoor and never return.

His mind kept refusing to accept the sight of the uptight warrior sitting on the small red couch, surrounded by dirty magazine, with the turtle hermit by his side. _Conversing_.

Oh Dende, imagine them _bonding_. 'Hehe, my son, it's time to teach you the kamehameha.' Just as he used to call Goku and Krillin. 'Son, why don't you get me a beer and tell me more about Bulma. Hehehe.' Sitting beside him with rolling eyes and reluctant nods to finding certain women attractive. Just like Krillin used to.

Imagining Vegeta in a dark orange-red Kame uniform was enough to make the ex-monk shake his head in disorientation. "What are you doing here Vegeta?"

"I refuse to bend under the woman's yolk."

"Um. Okay."

"No more will I let here push the Prince of all Saiyans around!"

"That's good?"

"I am not her plaything to serve her every whim!"

"She kicked you out, huh?"

"…" Besides him, Master Roshi cooed at the main exercise girl's thighs.

"It's okay. Did the same to Yamcha all the time."

The Saiyan narrowed his eyes at the name, and the comparison.

"How come you're here? Though. In general."

The turtle-shelled old man answered for him. "He can't rough it outdoors all the time. Besides, he's a prince. He deserves a roof over his head."

"Did Capsule Corp spoil you?"

Vegeta sneered, and Krillin sneered right back.

"You two can share a room," his Master told him, speaking mostly into the television screen.

"Why can't he sleep on the couch?"

"He's the guest."

"I was here first!"

"Share, Krillin! This is my roof, so therefore my rules."

"Fine."

Vegeta just grunted and turned back to the screen.

The turtle hermit stared at him, while Krillin sat on the other couch across from them and tried not to let his lower lips stick out. "Say, Vegeta, my boy, do you want soda? I think there's still some of Krillin's grape soda in the fridge?"

"Hey!"

"He's the new guest! Share!"

The rest of the evening passed with Vegeta solemnly drinking the rest of _his _soda, watching the action/adventure movie that played on the screen, and nodding absently to the comments Master Roshi said throughout. When an infomercial began playing, they turned the TV off.

"I guess you boys should get to bed sometimes soon." The old man stretched, bones cracking and creaking.

"You can take Krillin's room."

"What?"

"Share!"

Exchanging disgusted glances, together they walked to the stairs, shoving each other (to no avail on Krillin's attempt) and scowling. Upstairs, the room looked tinier than ever, and more cluttered than before. Vegeta nudged a guitar case with his foot, but made no comment on the room.

"Okay. I guess you need something to wear? To bed?"

"I suppose so."

"Er. These used to be Goku's. Kept them around since he sometimes stayed over when his own wife got pissed off.

"But, you know what, I think you'll be able to wear some of my clothes." For once, it was kinda funny being so short.

"Shut up."

Neither wanted to leave the other alone in the room, so they awkwardly had to undress in front of each other. Trying to glare at each other and hope the other person would take a hint, and simultaneously avoid staring. Both shuddering and wishing they weren't there. Totally reminded of that time on Namek.

It was totally unlike living with the other Saiyan, who had no shame when it came to being naked around others. Back when Krillin had been a kid, and with more cynicism, but with his whole life ahead of him. He closed his eyes and tried to pull on a t-shirt blind, recalling that boy who could never have guessed he would one day dress in front of an alien warrior, and that he would have to do this twice. That boy who truly had died in just about every way after...being killed.

The one who'd come back was more grateful, wise, and unselfish. A man in everything but height and actually completing puberty.

Admittedly, perhaps it _was _still childish to divide the room down the middle with bright painter's tape. Vertically straight down, with futons on either side. Completely fair.

"You stay on your side. I stay on mine."

"Fine, human."

They turned away, unable to stand the sight of each other.

"Hah. I got the window view side."

"Shut up."

"Look, I'm going to go get a glass of water downstairs."

Vegeta grinned. "Oh, no, human. I got the door side."

"What?"

He flicked the smaller man's head with one finger, causing Krillin's vision to blur. "You stay on your side, and I on mine."

"That's not fair!"

"My side."

The Saiyan stalked to a wall and tore down a poster.

"Stop it!"

"My side!"

"Cut it out!"

"Stupid pictures anyway. Is this one of Kakarotte? Extra stupid." He tore the picture in two and tossed it across the Krillin-made border. "Here. You can have it back."

It was the final straw. "Knock it off. HEY!"

Vegeta pushed him with enough force to send him flying. "You put any body part on _my side_ and I'll rip it apart like I did that stupid picture!"

So he was forced to crawl out the window to leave, flying down to Master's room. The lights were encouragingly on, and it was easy to open the window to come in. Roshi didn't glance at him from his own futon.

"Master Roshi! Master Roshi!"

There wasn't a pause in his page flipping, but a tiredness in his voice. "What is it?"

"Vegeta's wrecking my stuff!"

"Oh, leave him alone. He's going through a rough patch. What with fighting with Bulma—"

"Everyone fights with her!"

"And losing Goku and all."

"Goku was _my friend_!"

"Now, don't be greedy. He was friends with everyone."

"I knew him first! And Vegeta didn't even _like _him.

"It's not fair."

Master Roshi turned another page. "Maybe you two should get bunk beds?"

"Not funny. Not funny at all."

Overgrown eyebrows were raised. "I wasn't joking."

"Master. Master. He's wearing my pajamas."

"They fit him?"

There was no reasoning with the ancient hermit.

Unable to just hand over territory, he went back to his room empty-handed, rather than sleep on the couch. Vegeta had the extra flurry pillow and the thicker futon, and it was the easiest thing to glare at his back. He looked a little smaller, more human, than he had during the Cell games. Maybe Bulma really was right when she'd said he was a broken man who hardly ever training and had given up fighting, rather than just trying to convince her friends that it was safe to come by?

It almost made you feel sorry for the guy. His son, the one that could actually talk, had left and would probably never come back, his friendemy was gone, and right after an adorable woman his own height had beaten him up, a giant mosquito had knocked him out, and shortly after that an eleven-year-old who spent his days reading and doing algebra had surpassed him in power.

On the other hand, the guy got to be married (to Bulma, admittedly, but she couldn't be that bad all the time) and had a child and normally a nice roof over his head. Literally had servants at his beck and call to care for his needs. Mrs. Briefs to cook for him. Was the second-strongest of the fighters.

But really, the man had a child that called him 'Dada' and a woman who screamed that he was her husband and therefore had to do what she asked informing everyone within a five miles radius of this face. A son with his scowling face to hold, a beautiful genius who reluctantly would admit to loving him.

The sympathy waned.

Plus, Vegeta snored.

Krillin glared at the Saiyan some more, until he finally fell backwards onto his pillow. He woke up to being hit in the face with freezing water by his smirking new roommate. "You said you wanted water."

The shorter man was too busy trying not to choke and to understand the situation to come up with a witty reply. And of course, when the ex-monk stumbled down with a damp t-shirt and still stunned by being half-asleep, he was expected to prepare a big breakfast. And when he burned his hand on the hot pan, everyone laughed at him, led by Vegeta. Of course.

There were no thanks as he handed out overflowing plates of pancakes.

"What's with the hair, human?" Which drew everyone's attention to Krillin's skull.

His hands began sweating just at the idea of the reason. "I'm thinking of growing it out."

"Haha, is that to impress the android?" Vegeta nearly choked on his pancake in delight. Krillin seriously had to think over him whether or not he'd help the guy if he was dying.

"What? What android?" Their other roommates stared at the Saiyan for an explanation. All the moisture in the short man's mouth dried up. He couldn't even talk about Juuhachigou clearly with himself, let alone others.

The stronger fighter leaned back in his chair, just slightly. "Oh, the baldy has a crush on one of the androids."

"What? What? Oh god, I hope it's one of the smaller ones."

"Yes, it's the girl one." His jaw hurt from all the clenching.

"Which girl one?"

"The blonde one," Vegeta added.

Krillin didn't even like Juunanagou, even after finding out the guy was Juuhachigou's twin brother rather than romantic competition. On a basic human level, the android scared him. But he couldn't stand for the weird, scarf-wearing teen to be besmirched by Vegeta.

"The brunette's a guy!"

"Are you saying you're attracted to men? Because you could have told me that."

"What? No! I like the blonde one!"

"...You did have that gay porn magazine...

"And Goku told us about you liking Upa..."

"I don't like guys!"

"Is the blonde one the big one?"

Vegeta was definitely leaning back in his chair. Smug smiles at the furious other man. "I don't fully recall."

"Well, she was sure taller than you!"

Immediately, all four legs hit the ground. Teeth were revealed. "And you! I'm taller than _you_!"

"Now, now, boys. Settle down. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice girl," Master Roshi said, trying to appease his pupil. "Wait. No, she isn't. She showed up trying to kill Goku."

Krillin pointed at Vegeta, face flushed. "So did him!"

"That was a while ago though."

"Yeah. Man, the androids were trying to kill Goku just a few months ago."

Right now, this should be when Vegeta revealed he was still evil and wanted to murder the other Saiyan. Right now. Now.

Instead, he just reached out to grab another stack of pancakes.

"You should really think things over with this 'girl'."

"Oh, shut up."

"She's dangerous. And not in the helpful way that Vegeta is."

"You don't even know her! I bet-I bet she's out helping someone right now. Doing community service. Taking care of stray animals."

Vegeta's mouth was full like a chipmunk. Cocked that pointy head.

"She's a perfectly nice girl." Which was the story he was determined to stick with, despite his own doubts. It was hard to imagine her doing something so normal as having a job and an apartment and petting kittens. But if she was murdering people, they probably would have heard of it.

Probably.

"Bet," he swallowed hugely. "Bet she's probably robbing someone right now."

"She is not!"

"Probably killing humans, wherever the hell she is. Not that I necessarily have a problem with that."

"If she's all that good-looking and normal, then wouldn't she already have a boyfriend?"

"I'm not saying I'm trying to date her! Really. I've moved on from the crush I had."

He got three pairs of flat gazes.

"I am. I wouldn't mind being friends, is all. Just that. To talk to her."

The Saiyan was devouring a banana, the joke so clear, and yet Krillin was too broken to made it. "Is that why you growing your hair? As though you'd be able to talk to the machine even without being bald."

"No! I'm, I'm doing it for someone else!"

"Who?"

"None of your business. You don't know her at all!"

Vegeta's voice was all mushy from the fruit. "Is it the dark-haired android?"

The old hermit had to push Krillin away before he could throw himself at Vegeta and try and fail to strangle him. The sociopath murdering monkey that just sat there coolly eating a banana. Ignoring Krillin's rage-sputtering that went like this, if less coherent: "Not a girl. So what if he made some weird move towards me. Not into him. Like Juuhachigou. But not in that way. Or. What?"

Master Roshi shoved a shopping list into his hands, trying to get him out of the house. "You let him stay here. Now you feed him."

"Oh, I see. Honeymoon period over with. Bloom off the rose. Now you come crawling back to your _old _pupil."

"Krillin. You're being paranoid. But make sure to get the right mustard; Vegeta won't eat the wrong kind."

Vegeta nodded seriously.

To make matters worse, there wasn't even the cute checkout girl at the grocery store. With his luck lately, she'd probably gone off to get married to a super handsome guy and have a bunch of great kids and go to college and get a hugely successful career.

At least it wasn't raining.

Yet.

What he really needed, he thought, scanning the milk, was for some lightening to hit him. That would complete his life completely. He pushed two carts behind him, heading for the eggs and nearly walked right into one of those pretty blonde girls who seemed now to haunt him,and reminded him dully of the cashier.

...what?

He and Juuhachigou did a double-take at each other over the sour cream. She had a basket full of yogurt and a tired look, and Krillin had two carts crammed with different food, three different types of mustard that Vegeta wouldn't like and a tired look.

She looked defensive and heartbreaking normal in jeans and a t-shirt. The sneakers were so pedestrian that Krillin almost fell to his knees. Motioning to her basket, "My brother insists on eating this junk. He practically forced me to buy all this."

"Yeah, Vegeta's kinda a huge eater too. If I don't buy this, he says he'll take over my room."

The most perfect wrinkle appeared between those startling bright eyes. She was so distractingly attractive that he kept wanting to shake his head to clear it out. "What? Vegeta? I thought you lived...do you live at Capsule Corp?"

"Oh. Yeah. No. I mean, I still live Kame House. But so's Vegeta."

"...Why?"

It was so normal, and such a sane question to ask. In the midst of all this craziness. Krillin could have loved her for that alone.

"I'm not too sure anymore. Bulma kicked him out."

"And now he's living with you?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Bulma kicked him out. So now he's living with me."

"Why not just toss him out?"

"I literally cannot do that. He refuses to leave. We're sharing a bedroom. Which really sucks because I miss not sharing my space.

"I mean, having the bedroom to myself. With more room in it."

Dear god, stop talking. You know she's going to take that the wrong way. Why did you say any of that?

"Can't you make her take him back?"

She was looking furtively down at her basket.

Was she really shopping for her brother? What if she didn't even live with her brother? Instead, maybe she was shopping for a boyfriend. A live-in lover. Tall, handsome, tanned. Chiseled nose. He could see the penthouse apartment, them in a small bed, waking up wrapped in sheets and each other's arms for a deep meaningful kiss. Hair ruffled amorously. Talking about how amazing their life was together, how great the future was. They would share a meaningful silence of looking deep into each other's eyes, like when Chi-Chi and Goku were having a calm moment, and when Vegeta and Bulma were so tired of screaming and fighting that they would lean against the nearest available moment, look to each other, and go along with whatever the other wanted. His sun browned fingers against her pale skin, say, how about you go get some yogurt for breakfast. Dressing and undressing in front of him, without shame. And then they would hop back into the rumpled bed and incorporate the yogurt into their vigorous and frequent sex play.

"Krillin? Krillin?"

His name had never sounded so good. How the way she said 'Kerr' made him imagine the shape of her tongue in her mouth, the l's rolling off, the clinging 'in.' She made it sound like good, important thing. Her legs were coltish and the grey socks she wore didn't match the rest of her clothes. What was with her and her brother and footwear? Why was that so charming? The words 'sex play' wouldn't leave his head.

"Say, how about you come with me to Capsule Corp? To, uh, talk to Bulma? Maybe about the android-"

What? Why would you say that? Stop talking.

"-thing?"

"No thanks. I have some other things to do."

Like what? A boyfriend? Vegeta was so right, about everything. 'Sex play. Sex play.'

"If Bulma doesn't take him back, you could get rid of him by having someone else move in."

"Eehh. Sure. Maybe."

"Someone he really hates."

"Uuuh. Like, who?" 'Sex play.'

"How about my brother?"

Oh god, the things Vegeta would say to that, the comments and jokes, how his other roommates would jump to conclusions. What Juunanagou would say to all that. 'Seeex. Play.'

"Uuuh. Maybe? But wouldn't you miss him?"

"I suppose I'd just like to live alone for awhile."

**149. Wet**

Considering they lived on an island, surrounded by water, he and Master Roshi rarely went swimming. Juuhachigou continued the tradition of apathy. At least, she _had_.

He did his best not to stare. Sitting here on his Master's old beach chair, he tried to keep his eyes on something other than the person swimming quite athletically, almost showing off. Not that he was watching.

It wasn't as though he could see anything besides her bright head bobbing above the water.

At least, he _hadn't _been able to_._

With the blankest face, too stunned to even blush, he handed her a towel and looked at the palm trees that he would just look at, focus on and never turn away from. Never.

_Never._

No matter how much she laughed, mocking him, asking him what she thought of her new bathing suit, and did he want to take a dip in the water with her?

**150. If the world ended right now…**

What the hell where those guys thinking? Bad enough that Piccolo was running out there to help Gohan fight Cell, at least the Namek had somewhat of a chance. But what could he and the other humans do besides get in the way? Stupid of them, reckless too, to just blast off and go towards those huge twin blasts aimed at each other, swallowing each other, destroying the Earth. Power big enough to wreck the entire planet being burst out. Insanely strong.

They didn't have a chance.

He watched Yamcha and Tien fly away, and knew exactly what he had to do. Maybe it was from all the years of fighting being ingrained, the need to protect burned into his soul or something, or Goku and his son's bravery rubbing off, but there was no way Krillin could sit here.

Even if he died, which he probably would…almost certainly, considering his track record. Krillin swallowed.

Painfully, too. Long and slow and drawn out and bloody.

Still, he powered up and glanced around at the two people he was supposed to protect, one already dead and the other unconscious. _At least I got to see her one last time._

Gero's eighteenth creation was looking peaceful, after he'd laid her down as gently as he could. She was nothing like the scary androids they'd all fear, with her eyes closed and hair fluttering from the commotion. If she was awake, she would be flying for the fight right now. No matter how little difference it might make. Juuhachigou would definitely be brave.

Really, it wasn't just fighting futilely for the Earth, for Goku's memory, for Gohan, for the other fighter's, but for her too since she wasn't able to fight.

_I got to see her one last time, and keep her safe, for a little while. _And then he wasn't so scared anymore of dying.

**151. Aphrodisiac**

Yamcha had casually thrown out, jokingly, "man, those androids must really like you." He was all casual grins, not moving from his place on the couch where he laid watching sports with the others.

Besides the scarred fighter, Tien nodded and smiled. "Even Juunanagou gets along well with you."

"And that big guy. Juurokugou, you got along with him," Chaotzu chirped in.

A can of beer was raised in a bemused Krillin's direction. "He's the android whisperer. We didn't need the Saiyans to defeat them; should have just sent you in there."

"In fact," the three-eyed man was thinking things over. "Juunanagou motioned for you to come over as soon as he saw you."

"…really? Huh. Weird. Too fight, right?"

Tien answered for the smaller man. "Don't know."

"They're drawn to you. Forget flying. There's your superpower."

"It's strange now that I think about it. And they didn't beat you up like the rest of us. You guys just talked instead."

"Amazing."

There might have been respect in Yamcha's eyes. "Like you've got a magnet in your head. Huh. Not a babe magnet; an android magnet."

"Hey, there's some overlap in there." His joke was met with horrified, newly considering stares.

Krillin rubbed his head awkwardly, and wondered if he could make his new supposed power work at will. It would definitely have helped his chances with Juuhachigou.

_Work magnet, work. C'mon. You and me magnet. And Juuhachigou. How do magnets even work anyway? Damnit._

_...Please?_


	7. 152 thru 175

**A/N:** In which there is angst and a Trunks POV. And Juuhachigou breaks a lamp.

Also, vague mentions of drug abuse, attempted murder on Goku's part, and having a second child.

I'd also like to recommend reading Gohanroxme' s 'Double Killed' because that story's going to have some no-doubt darkly humorous Juuhachigou/Krillin action soon, and walutahanga's story 'Ash' for an awesome take on Maron and the alternative timeline and a whole new way of looking at Krillin/18.

_'I woke up in a Lego bedroom_  
_ Sleeping in my burlap sack_  
_ And all the mosquitoes know I love you_  
_ Can I love me just as much_  
_ And I had breakfast with my shadow_  
_ We had quite the discussion_  
_ Can you fall in love with the things you only know_  
_ The things you may never touch?_

_'The same old same old_  
_ I appreciate the opportunity over and over_  
_ But I had supper with my shadow_  
_ And we had quite the discussion_  
_ If I truly believe that things can change_  
_ Will I wake up to something different?_

_Different in how?'_

Breakfast with my Shadow, Cloud Cult

* * *

**152. Is this appropriate at our age?**

This was pretty much the last thing he expected to do with these three frienemies. The cruel twins and the vaguely nice giant, and _him_, helping each other? Sure, he'd tried to get them to change, turn over a new leaf or however that phrase went, to rethink their stance to become good guys. They weren't supposed to corrupt _him._ Really, joining their side and turning against his best friend, for revenge? _Him?_ He was supposed to be the loyal one.

Yet here he was, crouched outside the house, in some bushes, bearing pepper spray with Juunanagou, armed with a bat, at his elbow. The taller man was grinning, a white curve in the darkness. Juuhachigou had a net and indefinitely patience when it came to harming others. Juurokugou needed no weapon. In the nearby van, Vegeta had a useless black ski mask besides him while Bulma sat behind the wheel with a hand on the ignition. Chi-Chi sat in the passenger's seat, and like Juurokugou, wanted her hands free.

It was a harmless prank, really. They weren't even shaving any eyebrows or hair off. But they had to teach their friend a lesson, for what he'd done. Such a careless act of negligence, one that wasn't properly apologized for, and thus forgiven, had come complete with head rubbing and nervous laughter. 'Sorry you guys.'

Considering how bad the situation had been, they had all decided to voice how much they wanted to punish him. And it wasn't careless talk of torture that they'd done while wandering the desert, hopelessly lost, daydreaming and weeping at the memory of ice water and ice cream until Bulma had finally dealt him and Vegeta forehands and backhands to the face and told the two men to pull it together. They'd all exchanged lurid tales of fire ants and Goku covered in honey, of plucked eyes and flayed skin, like the dwindling water in the canteen. Back and forth, but with stories they could tell the other to go on and have some more, really go on about bamboo shards and fingernails.

When they'd reached civilization that they'd been partially convinced had all been a mirage, riding in the back of a rusted van, the rage had stayed with them for longer than the sunburn.

How dare Goku jump in the back of the motorbike to ride back to the city, carrying Bulma's cell phone, leaving them in a hot car with little gas left in the tank. How could he just do such a thing? They hadn't wanted to believe it at first, especially Krillin. No way could such a light-hearted man leave them to die in the desert. He'd said he'd be gone an hour, just to check out something out here, and just sit there, cause they were totally going to dinner in a second. Then he'd driven away in a cloud of brown dust.

Chi-Chi had been the first to lose her faith, saying that he pulled this crap sometimes, got distracted by something shiny and left her alone in the mall. She was the first out of the car with its failing air conditioner. The first one to make such a drastic move.

Bulma had gathered supplies, muttering vague saying that would grow to become embellished fantasies of pain and bloodshed of their oldest friend. She found crushed half-empty water bottles and used the aluminum windshield cover and a broken tennis racket as a crude umbrella. It was good to know all the engineering classes could transfer to real, life-saving preparation.

Vegeta had stayed longer to the cause, unable to believe such callousness of his old nemesis. This was something _he'd_ do, and he kept looking out the windows like an abandoned pet. Any second he would be back and then the shorter man could mock Goku for his stupidity, because all he'd done was get lost, right, right, _right_?

Krillin had believed that Goku hadn't truly left them, not on purpose anyway. He'd probably just hit his head on a rock, yeah, fell from his bike and smashed his head open and bled out. Now he was going to die, and they should be looking for him, they had to go get him! Vegeta had shaken him by the shoulders, yelling that Kakarotte had left them in that car to suffocate, knowingly or not, he was gone, and they had to forget about him and move on.

'_It wasn't something that you'd do to an animal_,' Bulma had shrieked, wildly swinging the tennis racket, after maybe a searing hour. '_You could go to jail for doing this to an animal!' _The others nodded with what little energy they could muster, raising their t-shirts/jackets higher over their heads to further block out the sun.

For the longest time, Krillin kept seeing Goku's smashed head spread over a rock, the blood drying quickly to a thick dark-brown-red pool that would flake away in time. Tortoises dragging themselves over his cooling yet cooking body. Vultures pecking away at his skin. Tortured himself with such thoughts and images. Until he fell to his knees again, face burning from the sun and where Bulma had slapped him. Bright steaks and dots of light floating around his vision. He told them of his image, and they all laughed together in joy.

The sun burned all the mercy from him. Cockroaches flying in Goku's eyes. Birds pulling out organs. Falling through the sky and never landing. Buried alive. Being eaten by a sarlaac, met with Vegeta calling Bulma a nerd. I want to cook his face on a frying pan. I hope he ran into some hillbillies, the Rob Zombie_ cannibal_ kind of hillbillies, not even the Deliverance type. I'm going to shoot his kneecaps off. I'm going to beat him to death with his own arm that I will rip off with a chainsaw. Something slow and painful, yes, all different sorts of methods were listed, but never dying of thirst.

It was manslaughter, was the consensus. What he'd done to them. Why should they do any differently? They all discovered a deep streak of sadism that not even Vegeta had known the full depths of which existed in them. None of them blamed each other; to claim that they deserved this for anything, even stuff like hitting Goku with their car (Bulma), robbing his house (Vegeta), the barrage of insults (Chi-Chi), and the time he'd accidentally given Goku a concussion by throwing a rock at him (Krillin). Like the rage, they learned of sympathy and empathy towards each other, teamwork, which kept them all silent about the plans made once they reached home.

That the odd Gero kids, all of whom disliked Goku, had been the ones to pick them was serendipity. They'd all looked up at the surprised androids in the evening glow from the moon with deadened eyes and chattering teeth. The teens and Juurokugou had handed over blankets and shirts, listening sympathetically to their ordeal. Gatorade and wine were passed out to grateful tears that even Vegeta had to hide.

'We thought we were going to die!'

'Wow, that sounds terrible.'

Krillin, the one with the best report with the 'triplets' wiped dust from his face, and asked them for their help when it came to revenge. Maybe they were just biding their time to make a move against Goku, or were so moved by the rage in his eyes, but they immediately agreed. Juuhachigou had given him an enigmatic smile that had awoken an emotion that it took him the rest of the car ride to figure out: happiness.

The next day, when Goku came by his house to find them all waiting inside and they got full confirmation he hadn't died in the desert, he'd been all, 'ooh, sorry guys. My bad. Boy, that was awful of me, huh? I thought you guys had enough gas to get home safely.' Like a kid that had spilled soda on the couch, or had forgotten a birthday. All slapping of his forehead. Nothing like a grown man who'd left friends to nearly die should act.

They were cold and in control, mostly nodding and giving him blank looks and quickly leaving his house. Only on the way out did Chi-Chi express the real emotion they all shared, 'we're going to get that bastard.' And they'd all nodded, eyes flat.

Perhaps, he thought now, crouched in bushes, they could have gone to the cops and done something legally. That's what adults did, right, solved their problems using laws and authority figures? Rational logic than vigilantism?

But it wasn't time for second thoughts.

Of course, when Goku finally left his house, shutting the front door without even locking it, that's how trusting he was, rage ended up overtaking the big man's friends before the android could even strike. They rushed from the van, screaming, howling, overtaking him and bearing weapons that ranged from the old tennis racket to bare fists to a line of strong rope.

The original plan to tie and abandon Goku out in the middle of the city was lost as Chi-Chi drove another fist into his stomach, Bulma smashed him upside the head with the racket and Vegeta began trying to strangle Goku. And Krillin lost his hold on his temper, and began looking for a rock, screaming about concussion, and in the end settled for helping the others make him eat dirt.

The three strange Gero kids could only stare at them, impressed.

**153. Abducted**

Were you supposed to look your captors in the eye? So far, only Krillin would meet her stare, and look at her with a disturbing mix of pity, admiration, and sympathy. Was it better or worse that there were no cameras? Either as evidence, or some clue as to what they wanted. After remembering that pervert Krillin lived with, she could almost believe it possible he had in mind to make an extra buck on the side and forcing her to be involved.

And _that_ was why he'd removed the bomb.

What made the event more traumatic and odd was that they'd grabbed her off the side of a road, pulling her into an unmarked van. The driver had a mask over their head. "Oh don't mind her, Bulma got a rash from Trunks and won't go out in public unless her face is covered."

There were no seats left in the back of the grey van, its windows heavily tinted, and the metal on the doors heavy and soundproof. She sat on the ground, with three and a half men looking up at her. Only one smiled, and he didn't even count as a whole man. The other's had hats on that looked like they could at any second be pulled down to cover their faces.

If they were distracted for a moment, she could open the door and do a shoulder roll out onto the highway.

"So, did you find your brother?"

"Does he know where you are? Where you were headed?"

"Did anyone else see you?"

In the passenger's seat in front of the van, a baby cried. Someone held up an odd smelling rag, making Juuhachigou flinch, until they used it to wipe a bit of drool from the infant's face. She told herself to not accept any drinks they offered her.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Oh," Krillin smiled gently, and she suddenly noticed the mask he had tucked away in his pocket. "Don't worry about that."

"How do you feel about skiing?"

**154. Endless Night**

When she'd agreed to go out…no, when she agreed to _leave the house_ with Krillin, and join him spending the evening with his friends, he'd left out some things. Like how toxic Vegeta and Bulma were together, that Piccolo was there, to scowl at her, and Yamcha to either avoid her eye, or whisper something to Krillin that she, (perhaps being too paranoid) thought was about her.

Or other things. Such as how close Chi-Chi was to popping out a child and was even moodier than ever.

He also had not said that there would be a movie that would accompany the dinner, or that it would be a romantic one that involved the audience making out with each other more than the characters on the screen.

There was also no mention of the game of laser tag to work off the meal, one where she and Krillin spent most of the evening hiding, huddling, behind fluorescent gargoyles and Styrofoam castles from Bulma and Vegeta, who were even more heartless_ together_. They cornered another unfortunate soul. "Ha-ha, you want mercy, is that what you're asking of me? Well, you don't get it, no matter how much you beg."

"Woman," Vegeta grated, "Just shoot him and move on."

Piccolo barely had a chance to duck.

Followed by a lovely game of paintball that raised welts and stained all of their clothes and hair, and also involved hiding from the ferocious couple only this time in bushes that gave them rashes until the sun rose and Chi-Chi's screams that the baby was coming, it was coming, damn you all, would you take her to the hospital already?

Oh, and that she needed someone to hold her hand while she grimaced and cursed Goku's once existance, and who better than Juuhachigou—who then learned how strong the human female could get despite her inexperience in martial arts.

"Oh, god, I hate all of you," both Chi-Chi and Juuhachigou said, at nearly the same time.

Then that they had to sit in the hospital waiting room, as a sign of support and guilt for 'letting' the man who'd knocked her up die. For twenty-three hours. Drinking bad coffee, pacing around, watching the grainy TV screen, twitching at every scream, and trying to sleep in the flat wooden chairs, half on top of each other for some cushioning. And that at some point she ended up sleeping curled up against Krillin with her head against his unconscious stubbly one for support, and Bulma had pictures to prove it. "Oh god, it was the cutest thing. Literally. You could put it on cards and make puppies and evil dictators weep."

Her cooing and Juuhachigou's disgusted retort work Krillin up from his place on the side table, a magazine stuck to the side of his head. "Hmmm? You guys want to go to the cafeteria and get some food?"

The scientist all smug. "Oh. I think Juuhachigou would like that. You two go ahead...And bring me back some more coffee."

Interspersed with Piccolo running in to report the situation, greener than ever and occasionally dry heaving. "It has hair!"

And Vegeta pacing around going 'this son better not be stronger, better not be.' No one asked.

That, after a queasy Piccolo who'd cut the umbilical cord, a revolted Vegeta, a stunned Gohan, a happy Krillin and a sobbing Bulma, _she_ would hold Goku's second and last son. A red misshapen screaming thing that didn't enjoy being manhandled by all these people and had the most pathetic little face and hair like his father. Who made her reluctantly smile from the weight and soft skin and tiny fingers that grabbed blindly for her hair before she tucked the baby back into his tired mother's arms.

A spectacle she had to admit was amazing, even in her exhausted state of caffeine and uneasy clinging feeling of having cuddled next to Krillin in her sleep.

No. He had neglected to mention any of this was to happen.

**155. A thorn in your side**

She awoke in the middle of a chilly night with unaccustomed sweat drying on her forehead. When was the last time she'd done anything so human? Not even fighting the Namek or the Saiyan had made her break into a sweat. She remembered their deaths, recalling the looks of disbeliefs that so many had worn as the blasts took them away. No one ever accepted that it was their time to go.

Though, replaying the short movies of the fights, the Namek had worn a grim smile on that green alien face, thinking he was distracting them from the boy who'd run away. But his smile had been nothing like…

Shit. Juuhachigou closed her eyes, unable to not pick at the scab, toy with the cut, rub the bruise. A remnant of her forgotten human past, no doubt. Like her sense of fashion and—whatever this was.

The wide-grin that nearly split his face in two, the sheen over his dark black-grey eyes, the stubble darkening the squarish jaw and round skull that she could destroy with so little energy. He was distracting and powerful only in this strange way that drew her eye and stayed her hand before the final blow. The oddly cynical look on his face as they met on the battlefield, him fighting without rage anymore. Knowing that he stood no more a chance than the others, less of one, yet still refusing to hide.

He would look her in the eye, and laugh, c'mon, Juuhachigou, please, what are you waiting for? Until neither were laughing and could only stare at each other in another ruined city, the buildings turned into grey rough mulch from a distance. Him looking up at her as she flew away, neither sad nor happy at surviving another day. Did he ever think, before she paused, a boot on his delicate white skull, 'Please? Oh, please? No more.'

Would there come a point when he Didn't Want To Play Anymore? How much did he care about his own skin? How far could you push a man that had little self-esteem even to someone who knew mostly of the man's fighting skills, a man who had cared and had only his friends? What was that man when you stripped his allies away? What was left?

She wanted to push him, leave him with nothing, to watch that cheerful smile finally die and the tear to run down the round cheeks, finally, finally for him to just _stop_. But even when he would dig for survivors did he struggle for optimism, always trying to make his young friend or the other refugees of this dying planet happy. He was a hero. Until something would finally break him.

Until...there would only be him.

She could do that. It was certainly more entertaining than chasing more humans into filthy holes and dirtying new clothes. His dark eyes would widen, not understanding what new game she was playing just as the others never understood that their death was coming. The way he would jump but slowly respond to her attentions. Hating himself all the while.

There was an unfamiliar thrumming in her stomach, and she had to wave off furiously the system going on about dilated pupils and dry mouths and raised heartbeats.

She had a horrible feeling exactly what this was.

**156. Cheat**

They worked out a system.

Master Roshi had his suspicious, but thought better of Krillin, and believed that there was no way that Juuhachigou would stoop to such a childish thing. Oolong _did _think they were capable of it, but couldn't quite catch them in the act. When he would stare at Juuhachigou, her face would be blank and turned away in disinterest. Krillin would just stare at the pig, innocent.

And that was why, whenever they managed to talk their roommates into a game of cards that quickly would turn 'interesting,' they always walked away a little richer.

**157. Believe Me**

(A/N: **partially inspired by a DBZ comic of the sort that Master Roshi would read. That featured Juuhachigou and Krillin, and had me focusing more on how she'd somehow gotten into his house so quickly/easily more than anything else)**

He was just sitting there, glancing through an old book he'd read years back and trying to remember the plotline, when Juuhachigou was there, right there, in front of his face. Up close, Krillin was torn between admiring how breathtakingly gorgeous she was, and how terrifying her expression was.

How had she gotten into the house so quickly?

"You're a fool."

The windows were still closed, and so was the door.

He closed the book. "Okay."

"You do _not_ love me."

Her breathe was warm on his face, and made him squirm in his seat. "I do."

And then she was staring at him, mouth open, and eyes widening, and he understood that she'd worked up all her courage to just come inside and yell at him, to deny his feelings. What came after, she had no idea.

The locks on the door were still done up correctly and everything. How could she have gotten in? Through the chimney? There was no soot on her clothes.

"No, you don't."

"I think I'd know." Though, to be fair, he certainly had needed a few days, and a life-and-universe-changing decision to finally understand and embrace how he'd felt for her. Even now he was still trying to come to grips with it. It would hit him at certain moments. Opening the fridge, _where's the milk, I am in love with Juuhachigou, where's the damn milk?_ _Wow, look how big Chi-Chi's getting, wonder if it'll be a boy or girl, god I miss Juuhachigou, whom I'm in love with, is dinner almost done?_ Always it circled around the back of his head, waiting until he was weak to slap him and tumble him over into mixed emotions of desperation and loneliness and lust and revolution and hope, mind-numbing hope that could cancel everything out. A fact, a statement that he hoped with enough time would stop tugging at his heart and perhaps after enough repetition would no longer hurt so much. _I love Juuhachigou. Love her love her love her._

And here she was, standing in front of him, as heartbreaking beautiful as a sunrise after a long, long painful night. The furrows in her forehead, the lines cut across the flawless skin. Blue darting eyes that were looking at him. He grinned at her, stupidly.

There was color draining from her already pale face. "But you don't."

"I do, okay?"

Her face was torn between frustration and horror. Pausing from freaking out only to tuck a loose hair out of her eyes. "You don't! You can't!"

She should just cut or style it differently, if it bothered her so much to have it in her face. Juuhachigou with short hair. Now that was an image to really focus on for too long until she looked ready to shake him. Her with bangs, maybe, curls? Oh god. He was leaning to the side a little, mind gone down a rabbit hole, _I love her, just way way too much._ "Can and do. Sorry?

"Say, where-"

And when Juuhachigou suddenly fled from him wildly, knocking over a lamp, he _still _couldn't find where she'd come from in the first place.

**158. If only I hadn't opened that door**

The knock was so flamboyant that Krillin should have known better than to answer it. But he was an optimist and too trusting, and a little dim at times, so he had no chance to protect himself when his _ex- girlfriend_ came through the door.

There was a shower of blue-hair and girlish giggles. "Oh, Krillin!"

By the third day, Juuhachigou was in the midst of a breakdown. Emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally, it was all being systematically destroyed. Her left eye wouldn't stop twitching. Never one for nervous habits, she now found her nails bitten down to the quick and her jaw hurt constantly from the teeth grinding she was now doing. She would find herself lying on the bed with an aching back, tensed just from being in that woman's presence.

She had spent time in Vegeta's and Bulma's house, babysat Goten and Gohan and had meals with Chi-Chi, sat through more than a dozen stilted conversations with Oolong and Master Roshi, lived in a van with her annoying brother and a nearly deaf android who loved birdwatching, had been eaten and held in the stomach for over a week of a giant mosquito created from the cells of the universe's best fighter.

But this, this was just a horrifying thing to live through.

It was too much.

The stupid comments, the cutting remarks and casual attempts at trying to get her into uncomfortable revealing outfits and to 'do something with her hair' were all annoying, but not the worst things about her. There were far worse things. Things that Juuhachigou didn't want to name at all, didn't want to admit since she was not entirely blind to the implications that might be presented.

Yet, as she winked at him when he brought her coffee, a dark frantic force began to beat its head against the padded walls.

There were things like…_flirting with Krillin_. Yes, fine, that was it. That was the worst part about her.

The pinching. The touching. Oh god. This was bad, this was awful and could no longer be denied. But she wanted to stab the woman when she made her remarks about Krillin's arms and chest, and overall any comment on his muscles. She wanted to punch her in the face, the force of which would sent what remained of the bubble-head into a wall when she tried to make the fighter flex. The rubbing of the head, oh, oh she wanted to rip that throat out and dance in the fountain of blood when Maron touched Krillin's head.

And Krillin just went along with it. Stealing little looks at the other although checking for their reaction (but seemingly unable to read Juuhachigou's) and letting her do whatever she wanted to him. He brought her food and drinks and magazines and spent time with her on the beach while upstairs Juuhachigou watched through a narrow slit in the blinds and then went to beat her head against the wooden walls.

Making her favorite breakfast while Juuhachigou looked for a long time at the sharp prongs of her fork.

Violet-grey irises blinked at her across the table. "You should get that eye looked at."

Why are you here. .

Krillin brought over her own coffee, looking concerned. "Yeah. It's kinda twitching pretty bad." Looking deep into her eyes and carefully, gracefully setting the mug down. Leaning into her, concerned, close enough for her to feel his body heat.

She knew him so well, she could read his mind. See all his thoughts and feelings and ideas. How he wanted to be nice to Maron, because he was a nice guy, and she seemed to like him and _Juuhachigou_ sure didn't do that and since he had no shot with her, might as well go for the girl who showed affection and appeared to enjoy his company and attention.

_But she doesn't appreciate you like I do_, seemed to be a wholly selfish thought. Since when did she express any positive emotions that demonstrated how much he'd warped the beliefs and feelings she'd first had.

What the obviously, head-wall-poundingly obvious needed, was to show him she cared and returned his feelings. So the course of action was to be blatantly, bare-faced, straightforward, pellucid, nonambivalent about how she felt.

Which, in retrospect, as she bashed her head against the wall of her bedroom with Krillin half-dressed and looking on, probably shouldn't have involved throwing him onto the table and the mugs of hot coffee, jumping atop him for a bruising kiss that ended with her hissing, vividly, frighteningly, that he 'was her's, totally and utterly, _her's_ and that no one else had any right to touch him or talk about his muscles but _her_' while the only other sound was of boiling coffee dripping to the floor and of Maron slowly backing away and his scared, pained quick breaths and her harsh exhales as she savored her possessive victory before dragging him upstairs.

By the time sanity came back, (at the moment he gave her an adoring look and asked if she loved him as much as he loved her) she found herself_ really_ and truly unable to take in the other woman's company. After she'd witnessed her breakdown, how could they even pretend to have normal small talk again?

Juuhachigou wished more than ever that she'd never shown up.

**159. She had a record**

How she found herself getting out of community service was by jumping and hiding in the cab of her brother's truck when he drove past her, slowly, mocking her by throwing garbage out the window and laughing hysterically.

It wasn't entirely her fault; after all, who could expect any sane human being to wear this tacky orange vest and pick up garbage and roadkill at the side of the road. And really, it wasn't her fault anyway. That cliché about 'oh, that's not mine, officer!' had been completely accurate. It really _hadn't_ been her's. How stupid could you be, to go to a protest/mob/rally with a baggy full of illegal...material? You'd think that someone who was going to a place full of cops would know better than to be carrying that stuff, and let alone enough of that stuff to get you busted for possession with intent to sell.

Or, at least it would have had she not been forced to hide in a bathroom stall from the cops chasing her, and shoving down like a quarter of a pound of it down the toilet and swallowing the rest.

When the cops dragged her out of the stall, she'd been fine. And even when they were getting the handcuffs for 'resisting arrest'. But by the time they were taking her and dozens of others away, it began taking effect.

All because her brother had grabbed her and shoved a bag down her pocket, telling her to hold onto this for awhile before literally sprinting away. She'd rolled her eyes over it at the time, turning back to talk to the funny shaved-head monks who had threatening red plastic tanks full of gasoline and big pupils and serious ideas for this rally that didn't involve picking up rocks to throw through windows. They'd been surprisingly entertaining, and the short one cute enough to harass and ask embarrassing questions.

Juuhachigou had just been trying to peel away the onion of the questions about celibacy vows, enjoying how the little one squirmed and wrinkled his nose, when the cops immediately began throwing out tear gas and she saw SWAT gear. They had clubs out, and that was when she'd decided that this was enough of a cultural event. Surely, surely, her political science teacher would be satisfied with her brief report of this spectacle for extra credit, without having to see a printout of her arrest record?

She'd nearly forgotten completely about the baggy in her pocket until she started running. _Goddamnit, Juunanagou_, the blonde woman had though, being rushed ahead by the huge crowd of scared people. Knowing that if she slowed down to to think she would trip like Little Red Riding Hood and be stomped and crushed underfoot, like...well, maybe there wasn't a fable that involved trampling. Yet.

As she was dragged to the police car, blinking slowly, thinking over and over again, fuck, fuck, she hadn't seen her brother at all. He had a sixth sense for this stuff, and was always the first to be arrested while everyone jumped over fences and tossed their stolen beer cans away or tried to hide in the empty pool under an inflatable raft. Juunanagou was the type of guy that showed up just at the right time to cadge a beer from an underage kid and get a suspicious cigarette tucked behind his beer right as the cops broke down the door of the illegally rent house. But she hadn't seen him in the drunk tank full of stoned hippies, although, admittedly, she had spent most of that stay looking at the ink staining her hands from the fingerprints and going, "How? How?" over and over again.

"How do they even make ink like this? Do they, like, break pens and pour the stuff into cups? And how do they make that squishy stuff to hold the ink? The...the plush stuff?

"Why have I never thought of this stuff before?"

"And fingers. The lines. How do they get there? Look at the swirls. How?

"...Why is there ink on my fingers?"

It had been immeasurably deep until learning that a super-pissed off DA had gotten his car overturned by drunk teenagers and decided to crack down on youths that judges decided were wasting their life by getting wasted and needed a harsh life lesson. She'd been told all that by a blank-faced cop who led her to a phone and gave her five minutes to call her brother's cell phone over and over again to leave rude messages, after dismissing immediately the idea to call her adopted father, and having completely forgotten her biological parent's number.

She walked away with the memory of almost getting a prison tattoo of the numerals '18,' a court date, and miscellaneous paperwork that held one of those prison pictures of her holding up a white paper with numbers. Looking shell-shocked and innocent, confused, like the child she supposed she'd once been. Her blonde hair mussed-of particular interest were her eyes.

Her twin had the sense to avoid her, going into hiding and using their adopted brother Juurokugou as a middleman to pass messages on. For two weeks, neither hide nor hair of him had entered her world, and things had almost been peaceful. Except, of course, for the court date thing.

"It won't be so bad," the huge, mohawked sibling had told her.

"Is this coming from you, or my retarded brother?"

"Me. They won't throw the book too hard at you. Just dress nice and don't mess with your hair. At worse, they'll give you some community service."

He looked nothing at all like the professional lawyer she was having a feeling she should hire. But his flat voice was so reassuring. This was the guy she had turned to after terrible, shitty dates that made her question all her life decisions, and after breaking up with awful men that made her question life in general. The one who always had a calm word, and possessed all the common sense in the family.

Making a middle-of-the-night dinner to make her feel better after her most recent breakup, "You need to date a nice guy."

"I..._do_. That's my type. I don't go for obnoxious jackass losers. They're all nice. Shy. Quiet."

"Like a serial killer?"

She'd speared an asparagus tip with her fork."...crap.

"So what do I do? Go for unemployed losers? Drunk addicts like the types Juunanagou hangs around with? Guys who spent their nights getting drunk on cheap local beer, this is who I should date?"

Juurokugou had shrugged. "Do you want more hollandaise sauce?"

The sane, _good_ brother who had told her she was being creepy, having this weird obsessive crush on the guy who worked at the shoe store a few blocks away, and worked out at the same gym she did and had this _great _stomach and huge arms. Who forced her to walk past the same store twice a day, peeking discreetly, not shyly, through the windows to see if he was working there. Who had once asked if she was done with an elliptical system and had immediately won her over with his tank top and shorts. Who had a great, huge smile and big cheerful eyes. Who had yet to say ten words to her. Who was married.

Juurokugou had sat her down at the big old scarred kitchen table, like an intervention. "It's been six months. You need to stop."

"B-but, I'm not doing anything wrong! Is it so wrong to like someone? To have feelings? Why is that so shameful? Aren't you all 'free love and peace'?"

"He's married and has shown no interest in you. Move on."

"But I see him twice a week! Besides, we go to the same gym!"

"Switch gyms. Or go at different times."

Totally unlike Juunanagou who told her, quote, 'just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score,' and who'd proceeded to give her a high-five that she'd returned. And had given her hope for another three months.

Juuhachigou thought on that, hiding beneath a dirty tire and a piece of filthy carpet her brother was carrying around for God-only-knew-why. Probably to roll a body in.

The judge had been a hardass. Even if she hadn't put any color in her hair and wore a nice, polite dress with a pathetic school transcript that spoke of good grades. He'd seen right through her, and could read all the smoky memories spent in her adopted father's basement with her brother, the acid trips at the movie theaters, the mushrooms eaten at the amusement parks and laser tag, the pills popped during high school history class, the late night manic calls to everyone she had ever known during that two-day speed trip where she'd cut half of her hair off and taken up sculpting and the week long crash after where she'd done nothing but roll around on the floor, stuffing suspicious lint up her nose in hope, and sobbing.

He couldn't, however, see her breakdown at a school field trip to a box factory where she'd totally freaked out in a bathroom stall after being unable to comprehend the complex idea of 'boxes inside boxes' that the factory manager had been going on about, and her vow home on the bus back to never touch drugs again. Not to so much as smell her brother's t-shirts and risk the residual high.

Hell, before that afternoon, she would have been able to pass a drug test no sweat. Now she would need another week or so, but there would be able opportunity since the mandate of her sentence was to talk to a parole officer, go to Al-Anon or NA for three months, take drug tests for six months, and three hundred hours of community service.

_Hard. Ass._

Juurokugou told her to look on the bright side, maybe she could put this on her resume, somehow, under Volunteer work. Her other, biological brother had yet to show his hideous face that she personally marked for destruction.

"Maybe you'll meet a nice guy at one of these places?"

"Yeah. The office where my parole officer is at is just _crawling_ with potential suitors."

"Silver lining."

"You need to work at your sarcasm. And besides, you're not allowed to date anyone for a year at the meetings. Or at least, it's _recommended_ that you not do so.

"Juurokugou, they can't _kick you out; _I've tried. All they do is nod and _Identify_. I'm supposed to get a S_ponsor._

"I'm not even a drug addict! And this isn't one of those denial things. I have no problem not taking drugs. I haven't touched any of that stuff in years."

"You did struggle a little, in high school-"

"He's the one on who-knows-what! I'm going to kill Juunanagou. Do you understand that? Tell him that. Tell him he's a dead man walking."

"Remember that time you almost sent the house on fire? I just think you could spend this time helping people, and taking order of your life."

"Tell him he better head south of the border if he wants a chance of survival."

And now he had saved her, in his own apathetic, uncaring way of _just_ slowing down while she jumped in the back of his truck. But, as the wind blew through her hair and she was able to lift her head another foot, at least it was something.

He was still going to be tortured, and murdered. But she might put him out of his misery a little sooner than before. Maybe she might leave enough of his teeth for a partial dentist record check, not enough to confirm, but enough to give their parents a little peace of mind. Maybe it was him, and they would just have to accept the possibility of him being dead, but either way, we should give any inheritance we have onto Juuhachigou.

Up front, she could hear him playing one of her favorite CDs, so utterly unlike the usual stuff he liked. As though asking for forgiveness, in his own sad way.

She pounded on the window. "You think that's enough? Oh, no. I told Juurokugou to tell you to go down south. That's all the kindness you're getting from me."

Eventually, he stopped at a Denny's, the parking lot full of cars. The smell of pancakes and heavy sticky syrup made her feel nostalgic for a memory she couldn't remember at all. Of a home she'd never been in or belonged to and knew only from movies and decade old sitcom reruns. How she and her brother had sat in front of them, in their pajamas until their Gero came out of the basement he worked in, blinking in the early afternoon light and telling them to move away from the screen before they blinded themselves. Her brother her size and identical twin, except for his dark skin and hair, and how he'd get bored before her and end up running outside to create more bruises and cuts that she'd have to put peroxide on.

She settled for jumping on top of her brother, as he came out of the truck, arms outstretched as though he expected a hug. Juunanagou was immediately plastered to the ground, smacking the back of his head against a car's door, mewling, as she wrapped her hands around his skinny chicken throat.

"Juu—Juu! UGHeccchkkk."

"Bastard! Miserable bastard!"

"Juu! Cooooopppaagh."

"What? Oh. Crap. That's a cop.

"People are staring at us. Shit. Stupid Juunanagou."

"Uuuuugh. Uuuuh."

"Get up. Fine. _Here._"

After being pulled to his feet, he grabbed at his throat and attempted to breathe.

"Crap. Okay. That one cops still eating. A lot."

"Look at all those plates."

"Pig."

"Heh. But. Ughhg. That other one's coming out. Wow. He's tiny. Heheh. Your type. Uuugh. I taste blood."

"Hmm. Crap. He looks all serious. I can see this guy pulling out a gun."

"Hehehe. You'd like him to pull something else out."

"Shut up. Don't make perverted jokes in front of him."

"Hey. I don't know you. You're not my sister; you're a strange woman who jumped in the back of my truck and whom I had no idea until now existed."

"Shut up, Juunanagou. And I'll just say you kidnapped me. I'm certain there's a gun somewhere in this truck, and the bloodstains in the backseat don't help you at all."

"...damn. That's pretty good."

"Yeah. You even look like a serial killer in that scarf. No one sane would wear that color."

"But you're still wearing that shitty orange vest they gave you. You look like you should be at your community service. Because you _should_ be."

"Goddamnit. It's _your _community service. I'm being punished because of something _you_ did."

"Well, he's definitely coming over. But he's blushing a little at you. Wait. He's missing a nose."

"Huh. Hmmmm."

"Gross. Your face right now. Don't make that face in front of your brother. It's been awhile since you tried to flirt to get out of speeding tickets."

"Yeah, now that's what you do."

"Welp. You're going to need to do a lot more now."

"Shit. Shut up."

"Don't commit the crime if you can't do the time."

"I hate you. When I murder you, I'm definitely going to feed your body to some wild pigs."

"I think you're going to be too busy working to keep out of jail."

"Ew."

"Didn't mean like that. Gross. _Gross_."

"Hmmm...Maybe Juurokugou was right about some things."

"What? Um. Hi officer. This totally isn't my sister. And that vest, it's a fashion thing."

**160.** "**Oh, fuck it; I'm going to have a party."**

There would be a slip'n'slide. Goku all but demanded it.

And twister.

And pin the tail on the donkey.

Somehow, possibly because of Master Roshi's influence, at the low moments in their lives when nothing seemed to be going right, Chi-Chi kicked Goku out again without even his toothbrush so he was forced to use his finger to clean his teeth, and Krillin seemed to be repelling more women than usual, even his female _friends_ were late returning his calls, they would look to the bright side and throw a party.

It was a revenge type party. You beat me up, you didn't call me after our date, you made me sleep on the couch, you ignored me, you were cruel to me and my friends. But now, now I will dance like a drunken epileptic before a thousand disco balls. Not entirely a conscious gesture, but deep down the two men knew that there was always a hint of 'take that' to the evening plans.

At first, they hadn't invited the person who pissed them off. So they could imagine that person on the phone going, 'oh they're having a party, again…I didn't get an invitation…oh. Guess I shouldn't have shoved him into that locker.'

But when Vegeta showed up time and time again to ransack the buffet, Krillin and Goku gave up.

Instead, they would have fun and show off before that other person.

During one of those moments, when he and Goku were doing their awesome, mindblowing dance routines that made people drop object in awe and gasp and then look away from the amazingness of it, that he met two people that he definitely hadn't invited. For one, they looked like the snooty kids that went to the super liberal arts high school where people were allowed to wear gold with white without fear of being harassed for being in a gang. Krillin and Goku had little contact with such people.

Then again, the big guy could make friends with just about everyone.

When Chi-Chi-, red-faced and unable to look anyone in the eye, tore Goku off the dance floor to hide him for awhile in the corner, Krillin finally decided to go talk to them. All these alarms were going off in his head, making the hairs on his arm stick up and he tried discreetly to check them out. Long-haired, one dark and the other light, super cute looking, girls, twin sister, one was definitely more stacked than the other who was pretty, still, and Krillin preferred brunettes so maybe he should talk to that one? He crept closer, trying not to look conspicuous, trying not to look creepy, trying not to trip over his feet.

It was pretty dark in here, but for the strobe light they'd managed to string up and the holiday lights stapled to the ceiling. The music made talking pretty difficult too. Was that a tactical advantage when approaching a girl?

Closer and closer, no tripping, good so far, and the blonde one was definitely prettier, cuter, sweeter…because oh god, that dark-haired one was a guy. Stupid, stupid. Krillin nearly slapped his forehead, and wanted to creep away. What were they doing here? Goku should have warned him that he had invited a pair of twins, a little word to Krillin before he nearly hit on the dude one, but it had no doubt slipped his mind.

And now they were looking over at him, giggling and whispering, and the blonde one was definitely cuter, even if she was smirking rather evilly. Still better than what her maybe date was doing, which was motioning for Krillin to come closer.

**161. Laundry Day**

Juuhachigou awoke with a jerking gesture, reaching out with one pale knife of a hand, to stab at him and slap his side. Until he fell to the floor, screaming. Then she snapped fully awake, swallowing, staring at him with a wide mouth. He cowered, not unaware of how easily kicks could turn his trembling form to a broken bag of bones. This was exactly what everyone had warned him of, when he begged and pleaded and bribed to come live here and escape the tyranny of her brother's apartment that he kept well-cleaned and paid for through means not entirely understood.

"Krillin?"

"What the hell!"

He'd tried to be so nice to her, too. Making all the meals, cleaning, trying and failing to bring her food in bed, doing his best not to follow her around or be too underfoot. The chocolates on her pillows, had that been too much?

"I'm sorry." She fell more than slid off the washer, landing besides him. Pulled him up with alarmingly quick and warm hands, dusting him off even. Inspecting him for wounds. Most people, they didn't do that for him. Especially if they'd been the one to cause those wounds. Those blue eyes seemed so caring, if darting around nervously.

Krillin let the attack go. He had a stupid urge to grab her hands and pull them close to his chest, like a protagonist in one of his Master's sad girly movies. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I'm…doing laundry."

His mind went to, _lie? fear of electric damage? unfamiliarity with washers and dryers_? before he understood.

"Oolong? Master Roshi?"

Juuhachigou was scanning the hallways, and barely had the time to nod at him before inspecting everything around her closely. Looking behind the machines even. "Bulma and Chi-Chi have told me stories about those two."

"Oh."

"I'll kill them obviously, if they try anything. But I don't even want them to get anywhere near trying anything."

"You're really freaked out about this, huh?"

There was a pink tinge to her face that made Krillin go all weak and sappy inside. "I don't want my clothes touched by those two. I—well, I have to sleep with furniture piled up by the door. What little sleep I do get."

"Aw, hey, that's not necessary. I told them to leave you alone—"

"That's not really good enough."

"—and what you did to Vegeta and Trunks. They won't mess with you."

She was thinking about it, sucking in breathe and hollowing her cheeks briefly. Looking as grim as a soldier surveying the territory she was to march on. "I don't even want to take that chance."

"Well, I'll look out for them too. Those two can't get passed us." He hopped up on the dryer, ignoring the bruised ribs. His legs swung, and he almost wished he hadn't jumped up here and emphasized his shortness. But Juuhachigou was warily sliding on the washer, her clothes shaking the machine beneath her, and making him suddenly notice…things. Things moving. Just a little tiny bit, but enough to notice and spend just hours watching.

Krillin tore his eyes away before she tore them out of his head.

"Thanks. I guess."

"Oh, no problem. It must suck to be a girl out here. With everyone perving on you."

"Not you. I guess."

"Oh, no, definitely not me." He did a cross gesture over his heart. "Definitely not me."

Sitting down made it easier to ignore differences in height. She was taller, but it was all leg. Which sent more thoughts and images ricocheting around his head. Then she was shifting, tucking a leg beneath the other, the left under the right, leaning forward all bored, resting her head on a palm that's arms was on a knee. All fascinating. When she was drifting through whatever thoughts went through such an interesting head, she had a tendency to pout. Less than a foot from him.

"SO!"

She jumped a little.

"Sorry. Sorry. But you added detergent and soap? Do you need laundry sheets?"

Juuhachigou was looking at him in that way, that distant but not tired look. "No."

"Oh. Good. That's good. I was afraid we were running low. And I would have to run to the store. And that would be a pain, since I just went and bought stuff.

"To go all back there, just for those…"

The android let him ramble, not a single iota of interest or emotion about his shopping habits, until a buzzer went off and made him jump a foot in the air and bash his head on the shelves overhead. Coolly, now all calm and graceful, Juuhachigou hopped off the washer, opening the top while he flung himself off the dryer and tried not to fall on his face. He was supposed to be one of the strongest fighters on the planet, top ten at least, and he couldn't even jump two feet off the air in front of her without almost killing himself. This was probably how the other Future Krillin had died, of his own hands, in front of the evil Future Juuhachigou. Though it wasn't easy at all to imagine her as some homicidal maniac while she went looking for dryer sheets.

"Here, you get those, I'll get the clothes."

She barely nodded.

Krillin gathered the wet clothes in a ball, holding them close to his chest, trying to be gentle. Holding them with as much care as he did little Goten. Then his eyes fell to take in exactly what he was clutching.

Both their eyes stared at the clothes. He wanted more than anything to just put the damp clothes away and act like nothing was wrong. Go on about daily business. No, he totally hadn't seen these at all let alone handled them, no, of course not, just putting clothes away to dry. But something like twenty seconds had passed, and there was no saving face. Yep, there was a jumble of clothes touching him, as in touching his skin, and aside from safe stuff like shirts and jeans, there was her…underclothes. And he was still holding them as another second and another passed and another

Any comfortable air between them turned tensed. Juuhachigou was looking him that same look she had when they were at Kami's Lookout and she was looking at him and admitting that she wasn't super pissed at him after all for him trying so hard to help her. Which was just bizarre, at this moment. Since she should totally be pissed.

He would if…okay, maybe not pissed. But weirded out. Although now his brain was clogging itself with images of Juuhachigou wearing his undershirts and boxers, (maybe the blue ones, or the white ones, or even the stupid bright green ones with the dragon emblazoned on the front and maybe one of his tank tops or a plain white shirt) which hopefully, was something that she wasn't also thinking. That is, him in _her_ underclothes. But it was hard to tell.

"So. _Are_ there any dryer sheets?"

**162. Coercion**

She towered over him, even more so from his angle. For the briefest second, Krillin had an image of her in the outfit she'd worn when they met, her in that short skirt and ripped leggings now, and his new vantage point.

"You should have used that remote."

Her booted foot pressed into his aching chest, making him cough. His eyes closed as her shadow fell over him. There were worst ways to go, or to simply be beaten, than by Juuhachigou. This way though, if anyone found out, they would hunt her and her brother down. The toe of her shoe nudged him firmly.

"You owe me."

Which finally made his eyes slide open. "What?"

"_You_ owe _me_."

Her toe pressed into his again. "How do you figure that?"

"I could have killed you several times over. Not just now, but when we met, and when I saw you again, on that island. And you owe me for deciding to be some stupid love struck-"

Krillin's face twitched.

"-Hero that expected me to act like a foolish girl that would fall to your feet."

"I didn't expect that," his lips still felt swollen from her earlier punch. "I just didn't want to harm you. At the time, I thought you were involved with your twin, actually."

Juuhachigou looked disgusted, even from his dim view of her face. "I should definitely hurt you for that one."

"You haven't hit me enough?" Which was stupid, since no one had ever tired of hurting Krillin so far.

"Just get up."

But her hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him up before he could move. He blinked, blurrily at her face, wiping blood from his face with one hand. She had landed on this tiny speck of island, and immediately, _one two three four_, landed punches onto his face and chest. As soon as the short man had fallen to his knees, stunned, she landed a good kick to his stomach and sent him flying into the sand. Now Juuhachigou was picking him up and even dusting him off.

He saw blonde hair that was a well shined gold in the sun, then she was pressing into him, even more intimate then their first kiss, or when he'd picked her up, and even more than when Cell had blasted her briefly into him. There was blood in his mouth, and when her wet tongue flickered to touch his, Krillin bet she could taste it as well.

Juuhachigou touched his shoulders, pushing him away. She seemed disappointed, a blow to his pride that was already torn and barely lingering. A spot of blood was on her lips, and when she licked it away distracted, Krillin shuddered with something that was stronger than mere lust. "Maybe we'll try again later."

"Try what?"

A slim eyebrow rose. "You paying me back."

**163. Fireflies**

Marron squirmed in his arms, looking up at him with large, sure eyes. She'd rarely left the island, but held his hand instead of hiding behind him as they entered the park. Which made him smile, thinking that she might look more like him, but seemed to definitely be her mother's daughter.

And just like that, the tired smile died from his face. Juuhachigou was still at home, bouncing between sadness and cold indifference. No matter how much Krillin told her it wasn't her fault and nothing could be done, they'd had the best doctors in the world, and _it wasn't her fault_, Juuhachigou still blamed herself for the loss of the second child.

Dusk lit dull streaks of fire in her eyes. But she still wasn't tired, so Krillin continued to hold her hand instead of picking her up to finally go home. She looked so much younger compared to the other children they passed in the darkening park. A lump grew in Krillin's throat, and he couldn't cry in front of his daughter, who had asked so innocently when the new baby was coming home.

"Daddy," she tugged at his pants, her voice still struggling with the guttural baby noises she used to speak in. "What are _those_?"

"_Krillin, I can't do this again," Her hair hanging into her face, shoulders sung with defeat no matter what he would say. "Not again."_

"Those, well, those are fireflies."

Marron gazed up at them, "Can you _get_ one?"

"I don't know, baby. I don't have anything to catch it in."

"They sure are bright aren't they?"

"Like mommy's hair."

_Their second child, a boy, had the softest layer of blonde hair as well. He had fit in Krillin's arms perfectly. Even smaller than Marron had been, a tiny bump of a nose, dark blue eyes that his mother might have originally born with, ones that might have shifted to as black as his sister's and father's. He could have had anything, could have been anything._ "Right. And yours too."

She was still mesmerized by the bright bugs that danced over head. They stood there, watching the fireflies, her leaning into her father as her eyes grew heavy, and Krillin scooped her up. She weighed virtually nothing, and it was the sweetest weight he'd ever felt in his arms besides Juuhachigou.

Just as he was sure she was asleep, her eyes fluttered open. "Can we go home? To mommy?"

_Her hands were white balls on her knees, her skin so devoid of color against the white walls and her white hospital clothes. "I can't take losing another child again."_

"Sure, firefly," a tired smile on her round pale face before Marron yawned, "Let's go home."

**164. It was like that when I/we got here.**

Krillin's wizened master stared at them both with huge, bulging eyes that made his sunglasses nearly tumble off his face. "W-what happened?"

They shrugged simultaneously. "What?"

"This!" He pointed his walking stick at the living room, at the broken table, the torn couch, the wrecked kitchen with food spilling out, the shattered lamps and windows, the burned porn. The stained ceiling, the knocked over television, and stereo that lay now on the floor, torn clothing, shattered desk and the phone in three large white pieces. A ruined laundry basked stared up at them, balefully.

The two shrugged again, their gestures the same even though they looked exactly the opposite.

"Didn't notice."

"It was like this when I came downstairs."

**165. The things you never wanted to know**

Finally, he worked up the courage to ask her the thing that had haunted him. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes whose blue shade he sometimes was sure that she hadn't been born with. Sometimes, he wondered if she'd even been born, or if…For a second, Krillin thought that she was going to take a chopstick and jam it into his eyes.

"Yes," her voice grated out, "I was a human, you idiot. A _normal_ human."

"Oh."

"Now pass the soy sauce and stop asking dumb questions."

**166. What do you think we should do with it?**

Juunanagou poked Krillin with a stick. The human didn't awaken; he just snored a little louder, right there, on their porch. As though he were a puppy waiting for his master to return. He must have been out here all night, though for what she had no idea.

Why would he just lay here? Why had he not knocked?

They looked at him, as though his bruised eyed face would tell them what to do.

"Do you want to shove mud down his pants?"

Juuhachigou shrugged. "Okay."

**167. I keep making the same mistake.**

It took him a moment to realize what she was furiously, wordlessly shoving under his face was not a thermometer. The book he'd been reading peacefully before his wife entered the room fell from numb fingers

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh god."

"Yes."

"How—"

"You tell _me_ how."

"Well…"

"Not that, you moron." Her lips were pale with rage.

"I don't know! I thought you were—_that one time_ _we didn't_. But. The stuff-"

"So did I. I guess that one time was enough. Somehow. I don't know why they didn't work by themselves."

"Maybe this is a mistake? A false positive?"

"This is the third one I've taken. The clerk kept looking at me, like she was asking me if I thought that the third time was the charm and maybe _this time_ I wouldn't be pregnant. God, that was humiliating. And that's just the start."

"This is a good thing though. It is. It really, really is." He grinned a little, shoving the book from his lap. "We can start that family we've been trying to have."

"Shut up."

"Not like we're not already married."

"Can't believe I let you impregnate me. _Twice_."

"Mom?" Marron peeked her bright head through the doorway. "Dad?"

They jumped like spooked kids. Exchanged looks that asked one another whether or not to tell her what was wrong. Krillin stared at his wife, eyebrows raised. Juuhachigou shrugged.

"Say, Marron. You always wanted a little brother or sister, right?"

"Yeah, when I was three." She laughed, as though dismissing the youthful mistake. "Watching Bra and Trunks though—Wait. Why are you asking me this?

"Mom? _Dad_? Why are you asking me this?"

There was actually disappointment on her face, as though she'd expected better of her parents.

"How—No. No! Don't you answer that. Jeez, how could you two be so _irresponsible_?

"Where are you going to raise this baby? In the attic? There's no room for it anywhere. Nothing's baby proofed. You have no supplies to take care of it."

"Managed to raise you alright. And we had less of a clue what we were doing then."

"That's just great. Come on. You can't have a kid. At your age—"

"Hey."

"Well. I'm not going to share a room with them. Do you understand?"

"Fine. No room-sharing."

"Good luck with that kid." She waved, almost venomously at her mother's stomach. "And good luck to you too. Hope they don't let Vegeta babysit you too. I still have nightmares!"

Juuhachigou rubbed her forehead. "One time. You were eight! Let it go."

Marron stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.

"I suppose this is our chance to make up any mistakes we made with the first."

"Hey. She just has an only-child syndrome."

"I really wish we'd had this kid years ago."

"Years and years."

"Don't rub it in." She touched her stomach, still un-swollen. "Did we keep anything from when Marron was a baby?"

"Just some clothes, for sentimental reasons."

"Oh, great."

"It'll be okay." He jumped her, nearly knocking her over for the third time in their entire relationship, including sparring. The embrace all warm and frantic.

"You feel alright? And how about _you_, little baby?" Krillin shoved his face into her stomach. "You doing okay in there? Tap twice for yes."

She stroked his hair absently. "And so it begins."

"It's okay if you don't have a nose either. Don't worry about it."

The following day, Krillin had officially lost his mind and gone full into Father Mode. He refused to let her out of the bed, bringing her breakfast, before recalling some fragment of memory and dragging her outside and saying that a walk and fresh air would help the baby. Only, just wait, let him put some sunscreen on her stomach. And her nose.

"Get off me!"

"Hope this one gets your nose from the get go."

Marron just glared at them from her window, shaking her head at the sight of them arguing on the sand. The others living on the island had been just as shocked as her. But moderately happier after getting their vow not to have to babysit and change diapers.

"Way to go, Krillin!"

"Didn't know you still had it in you, boy."

"Knock it off. And stop touching my stomach, Krillin."

"Can't wait to tell _everyone_."

"Hang on. Sit down. _Sit down_. Give it a few months. It's possible this baby won't keep."

"Awww. Don't say stuff like that."

"I'm not saying that I'm going to 'fall' down the stairs—"

Oolong and the hermit shook their heads. "Wow."

"And people say you don't have a sense of humor."

"Did I say something to you two perverts?

"I just mean that I'd prefer to go to the doctor and know for certain before planning a baby shower. Ugh. A baby shower. That was bad enough to go through the first time. And now my daughter's old enough to throw me one." The very idea seemed to freeze some of the muscles in her face.

"I wouldn't plan on that," Krillin glanced up towards the windows, at his first child's angry face.

"She'll come around," the hermit advised. "Just give her time."

"I can't believe I have to go through this all over again. Changing diapers. The crying at two in the morning. The vomiting."

"The cute outfits." Krillin reminisced. "How happy they are to see you. The way they grab your fingers and hang on."

Juuhachigou rubbed at her temples. "Being screamed at because we're out of grape popsicles their father ate. First day of school. The bleeding knees and yelling."

"Learning to walk. And talk."

"The endless chattering of a two-year-old."

"Oh god. Becoming a teenager."

"You see, Krillin. This is really all your fault."

"Heheh. Is it? Why don't you tell us all the details…?"

"Shut up."

"But it won't be so bad. There are good things about having a kid."

"All I can recall is the bad."

"The way they follow you around. The innocent smiles. How they think the world revolves around you."

"The terrible children's shows they insist on watching. Having to read those asinine books to them so they'll go to sleep and allow you to get five minutes of rest. Before screaming that they need a glass of water. And then changing the bed after they wet it."

"I thought you liked being a mother Juuhachigou?"

"Not the mother of an infant_ now_."

"It'll be okay. It always is. Say, maybe Bulma and Vegeta have some baby stuff to give us?"

"I remember mocking them," her voice was distant and clinical. "When they had Bra. Asking them what the hell was going on through their minds at raising another child. Now Bra is old enough to babysit this kid."

"Look at it this way: we're much wiser now."

"I don't feel quite wise at the moment."

"Isn't it funny how a piece of broken rubber can result in so much carnage?" Master Roshi sounded amused.

"Shut up, you disgusting-Krillin, go make an appointment with a doctor. I guess I need to talk to Bulma, see if she can't help me with this thing. _Again_."

Of course, the blue-haired scientist was all ears and maniacal laughter when Juuhachigou finally managed to call up. "How did you two even manage that? Well. I guess now we fully appreciate the whole never-aging thing. For once, I'm not so envious. I mean, Vegeta and I could still have one, but it would probably take more work than usual.

"Yeah, sure, come on down. Can't wait to tell everyone!

"Don't be so gloomy, Juuhachigou. There's no way this kid's going to take off and make things easier on your life. Besides, aren't you kind of happy? New kid, new life.

"Okay. New stretch marks. Fair enough."

"So I can come over and have you inspect the damage? Make sure this isn't a hysterical pregnancy?"

"You don't sound happy enough for something like that. More like a melancholy pregnancy. But sure, I'll get some doctors over here. Tell Chi-Chi to come over for some margaritas you can't drink."

"Don't tell _anyone_! Do you hear me?"

"Does anyone else over there know? Did you tell Marron?"

"She was the first to know. Besides Krillin."

"How's she taking it?"

"Well. I'll tell you when she starts talking to me in something besides accusations."

"Trunks flat-out cried when I told him about Bra. And Gohan was bipolar when Goten came along. Was happy one second, then super depressed and pretending there was no baby the next. Refused to even look at her stomach."

"Kids, huh?"

Bulma laughed. "Yeah. Can't live with them, can't give them up for adoption after waiting too long. Hoping for a boy or girl?"

"I can't say so far."

"After raising a boy and girl, well…"

"Either one is bad?"

"Like choosing between being shot in the back of the head, or the front."

"So, which one?"

"Mmm. I guess…well, Bra never took up fighting, so I never had to worry about her dying that way. Or less, anyway. With her, I worry about leaving a hair dryer on and having the house catch on fire.

"Although, once or twice she punched a wall hard enough to make the entire house shake. People thought an earthquake had hit.

"And Vegeta never even punishes her. Just gives her money from my purse because she hugs him. When she was little, he would carry her everywhere just because she asked. He still doesn't do that for _me_. To say nothing of the gallons of ice cream he'd give her. And all the violent TV they'd watch together."

"But Trunks was worse?"

"…I honestly don't know anymore."

"Gohan seems to be okay, though. Maybe a boy wouldn't be so bad this time?"

"Just make sure this one doesn't fight."

"I'll try my best."

"Wow. I just realized your kid's going to be raised solo. Without any other kids to play with since Pan's growing up."

"I can't tell if that's good or bad. Fewer kids to play with. But no one to pressure them into learning to jump off the roof to learn to fly."

"I'm still sorry Trunks did that.

"It's alright; her leg was healed by Dende."

"Still. You know who was a good kid?"

"Who?"

"Future Trunks."

"Alright. As soon as this kid's born, I'll send him to some post-apocalyptic future. Then when he comes back after a couple of years, he'll be fine."

"If I could do it all over again, that's what I'd do."

Over seven and a half months later, the dry-sobbing, white-faced cyborg held the child that had refused to come out for so long while her family slowly crept back into the room. They looked at emotionally beaten as her, blinking blurrily, and trying to understand that it was finally over. All of them were tired enough to sleep standing.

"Mom?"

"Juu?"

"Sis?"

"It didn't get easier the second time," she told Krillin, face waxy and betrayed, the whites of her eyes red.

"I know. I know, honey."

"But he's here. Finally. And it's a boy. I don't know how to feel about that. Someone take him."

"Permanently?" Juunanagou asked. "Because I've been looking for a new shooting partner."

Marron sighed and took the baby from her mother, holding it a little away from her uncle.

"What, I wasn't serious. Look at his hands. He can't hold a gun.

"Seriously. Look at his tiny hands. Wow. Can't believe this is how humans start off."

"You have to support his head, firefly."

His daughter adjusted her baby brother. "Oh, you sure I'm still 'firefly.' Shouldn't that be his name?"

"You'll always be my firefly. Even if your mother and I have a dozen kids. Be_ careful_ not to drop him.

"And besides, he has dark hair."

"Yeah. He looks like you, Krillin. Poor baby."

"Shut up, Juunana. Hey, there little guy. Nice to finally meet you. Look at that squished face."

"He's wiggling."

"I think he wants to go back to his Mommy."

The three turned to look at Juuhachigou, and found her passed out, unmoving. Of particularly apathy were her arms.

"Maybe I'll just put him in his little bin here."

Tenderly, he placed his second child and first son into his sleeping space at the foot of the bed. Touched the silky hair on his misshaped skull, running his fingers over the softest black silk. He was reminded strongly of when Marron had been born, and still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that this little person was his.

He was fussing, kicking and punching out, and looking a little too big for a newborn. Mouth a downward curve of unhappiness, wondering where the _hell_ he was now and why he didn't have any tube on his stomach feeding him. His eyes were dark as Krillin's, barely open, and maybe it was just this view or the way he glared, but they looked angled, like his mother's. With the most perfect little bump of a nose beneath them.

"You really like your Mom, huh? Had a hard time separating you two," Krillin told his son. "But it's okay. She'll forgive you.

"And you two have an entire future together. You can spend the rest of your life following her. Like Gohan.

"She loves you a whole bunch. Already. You can tell, from the moment we saw you using one of Bulma's fancy machines. And when you kicked. Even when you kept kicking and wouldn't stop. She just loves you to death. Once she cried in the middle of a store over how much she adores you, in front of strangers and everything. Just sobbing and sitting on a case of diapers. Loves you to pieces."

The baby, blindly, reached out to wrap his tiny hand around one of his father's fingers. It shattered his insides better than Freiza's horn had done, splitting his chest apart like a round of gunfire that Juunanagou liked to let off when he would go hunting.

"And maybe I do too."

"Krillin, hey, you're stupid friends are here. Even the troll is in the waiting room."

"Okay. Okay."

"Come on. You can leave the kid for five minutes. Don't make me have to do small talk with these people."

"Yeah, sure."

But he couldn't leave his son.

"So, um, how have you been? Still single? Working out lately? It looks like it. I don't know why I'm saying these things. That wasn't a come on. I swear."

"…nice to see you too Juunanagou. Where's Krillin?"

"Right there, Yamcha."

"Heeey, man." The taller fighter had a handful of balloons, pink and blue. Krillin could barely look away from the baby.

"It's a boy?"

"Guess I could give the pink ones to Marron…Or Juunanagou."

"I heard that!"

"Aww. Look how tiny he is. Is he strong? Can you tell from having him hang on you like that?"

"Yeah."

"Juuhachigou's still out."

"Yep. This one went worse than Marron."

"Hopefully not a sign of things to come."

"Yeah."

"So everyone's here. Can they come in? I think Chi-Chi's about to fight one of the doctor's to get in."

"Oh, sure."

Everyone ended up holding the baby. Even Vegeta got a turn, making a disgusting face back down at the infant who barely blinked up at him. The infant seemed to be a drunken man being shuffled from paramedic to paramedic. When he was slid back into his mother's arms, he didn't seem to recognize her. Nor she him.

They looked at each other with something beyond basic tiredness. Instead there was wariness in their half-blind eyes. Krillin struggled to remember her looking at Marron like this, when their daughter had been a baby at least. He was fairly sure that they'd waited until she could talk before looking at one another, saying wordlessly, 'yeah, we're stuck together.' Black eyes squinting back at the narrowed icy blue gaze. Taking each other in, as mother and child did.

With Marron, she'd mostly just sobbed when holding her, terrified. "I'm going to drop her or squeeze her or just break her somehow." The pain medication had made her more paranoid than ever of her mothering abilities. Every five minutes she'd hit the button for a nurse, asking if she needed to be fed now, oh god she wasn't eating did she need a bottle and formula, did she need to be changed, was it okay to wrap her in this blanket, was it normal for her to be sleeping this much?

He personally was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the little dark-haired boy was his own. Sometimes he'd wake up still shocked that the drooling beautiful woman with the mussed blonde hair besides him was his wife, and that the screaming teenage girl yelling at Master Roshi was his daughter. Now he had a son, someone else who would look up to him and call him Daddy and inevitably ask where his nose was and what was up with Uncle Juunana and how come Master Roshi kept looking at pictures of naked people?

Juuhachigou was looking the boy over carefully, clinically. "I think he's hungry. You all need to leave."

"Why?"

Chi-Chi dragged Goku away first, still cooing over the infant from a distance and the rest of the room followed them. Marron had to be led out by Goten, reeling from exhaustion.

Expertly, his wife held their son to her chest and fussed with her dressing gown. "So when can we leave?"

"Um. Pretty soon. Why?"

"I'd like to put on normal clothes. I'd like to try and live a normal life again, for that matter."

"Since when did we ever have that?"

"By comparison. And stop staring."

"So, what are we going to name this little guy?"

The two had bounced names back and forth, ranging from 'Marro' to 'Kuri' and 'Krillin Junior' and 'Hachi' and even, growing desperate, 'Nana' and once, very tired, 'Roshi.'

"Let's just name him after the turtle."

"What about...after Goku? Go-something?"

"What? _No_."

"Gokur? Goachi?"

"Gofuckyourself." Then Juuhachigou gave an unexpected bark of laughter, and patted her struggling son's head. "That one wasn't bad."

"Is he eating?"

"He's trying. Yeah. He's not really getting it." Juuhachigou looked down at her baby. "God, I'm so bad at this."

"Want me to get the nurse?"

"No, just give him a chance. Come on, _come_ on. You can do it." Her voice was turning sweet and loving, and her eyes unfocusing on everything but the boy. Soon she would begin to hum at him, and they would be inseparable. Then the muffled crying would begin as she tried to control herself and failed. Krillin would attempt to step in, and be snapped verbally and physically at as she desperately clung to the infant. And shortly after that, she would be handing the baby to her husband so she could finally pass out.

"I don't think he's getting it."

"It can take awhile."

"I'm already looking forward to the moment when I won't have to do this. _And,_ I'm looking forward to taking you home. We made your sister move to the attic, and repainted the room. We got a crib. And a nice one. Brand new. This one is safer than the one we got for Marron; you'll have a harder time getting your head stuck between the bars.

"God, Krillin, he looks like you."

"Aw, is that bad?"

"No, but jeez. That hair."

"I think he actually looks a little like Juunanagou. The dark hair, your nose, and the shape of his eyes. I bet he has your forehead and chin."

"I'm going to have nightmares now. I actually hope he has your voice. Otherwise, I think it'll be too much. I'll have to put him in a basket and set him adrift a river."

"Aw, he's too cute for that. Look at him."

"Krillin. You're making that face again. And your voice is getting really high."

"Can't help it.

"Hey there baby. The doctor's are going to look you and your Mommy over a little more, to check that you're both healthy, and then we're going home.

"You're going to like it there." Krillin smiled at the back of his son's misshapen head. "I can tell."

By the time they finally got their son home, everyone was sore and exhausted, and the baby wouldn't stop crying. He would lie in their arms, and weep. He would be placed in his bassinet, and sob. He would find himself locked into the baby seat by a million straps, and cry with the misery of the damned.

"Mom?"

"...what?"

"Are you sure he's okay? Like, _mentally._"

"Don't joke about that, Marron."

She stared nervously at the leaking baby besides her. "I'm not."

"He's just tired. And nervous. This is all very new to him."

"Seriously. Was he checked out for everything?"

"Yes," Krillin answered.

"Everything?"

"Well, some things can only be found when they get older."

"Don't encourage this, Krillin! He's fine. Perfectly healthy. And use his name."

"He looks like he's having a heart attack."

"Marron."

"Fine. _Shorin_...His face is seriously purple."

"Yeah," her father glanced towards the backseat. "That's normal. Yours was even worse."

"...Really? Wow."

"We're here."

Despite how hard it was to get Shorin out of the car seat, his wife was the last to leave her seat. She moved slowly, needing to lean against Krillin, and reportedly tried to 'brace herself for coming back.'

But their housemates were being nice, hanging banners and having cooked lunch. His old Master actually appeared to have to wipe tears from his face discreetly when studying the baby. Oolong danged keys in front of Shorin to distract him from whatever was ailing the infant, to no avail.

Juuhachigou handed the child over easily. "I'm going upstairs for a nap. None of you kill the baby." Then she stumbled upstairs.

"Hey, there baby. Just me now, your father. Your proud Papa. Look at yooouuu. Aw, and you're not crying anymore! Aren't you being good for your Daddy?

"We've got everything all set up. Toys. E_verywhere._ Diapers in huge, enormous piles. You can go crazy in that regard.

"The amount of bottles would scare you, and we even bought formula if you keep having trouble in _that_ regard. So you can definitely go crazy using up diapers.

"Can't wait to see you in the outfits we got you. Seriously. You in that miniature gi? Get out of town. And that cowboy outfit Juunanagou sent over: it was _made _for you. It even comes with tiny spurs and a hat. Chi-Chi literally _made _a huge amount of clothes for you. The hats, the tiny shoes...We're going to take so many pictures of you, to embarrass you with later.

"Are you smiling? For me?"

The first thing his son did was reach up and _yank_ half his facial hair away. And he was indeed smiling, while his father fell backwards, grabbing at his face with a wince. It had been some time since he'd felt such physical pain, besides Juuhachigou grabbing his hand during the more painful cramps. Both of which had been caused by this tiny child right here.

"Wow. He's already getting pretty strong."

"And getting his own sense of taste."

The short retired fighter tried rubbing at the top above his mouth. "Yeah. Just like his mother."

"Look. He's giggling. How cute."

"Adorable laugh, already. Aww, that toothless grin."

"I've never seen Shorin so _happy_."

"Real chip off the old block. You know, his mother's."

"He really likes it here, Dad."

"Quick, go get the camera."

**168. Meeting the Family**

After she finished dry heaving into the flower beds, Krillin wrapped his sports jacket around her shoulders. Juuhachigou shivered, and even in the dim yellow light yards ahead, the short man could make out a grey tinge on her skin. Her eyes looked dilated and watery.

They weren't even at her front door yet.

"I'm sure your family isn't that bad."

For the hundredth time, Juuhachigou repeated her mantra. "You don't know them."

"But I will after tonight."

"Yes," her tone was grim. "You will."

And then she shoved him into the building. Futuristically designed, the glass and grey stone was cold against his back. He couldn't imagine a place further from his own home, and comparing the two was like comparing him and Juuhachigou. Again, he couldn't believe a girl like her, not just in looks and attitude but one that lived in such a place had given him a second look. "Krillin, I just want you to promise one thing."

"Sure, Juuhachigou." When he pressed his hand into her forehead, he noticed that she seemed to have a temperature.

The blonde girl cupped his hand in hers, looking deep into his eyes. Rarely did she do this; only when he'd said or done something incredibly stupid, or when he'd first revealed the extent of his feelings. It didn't bode well to see her so serious, even as she stroked his fingers. "I just want you to promise that you won't hold tonight against me."

"Against you?"

"Yes. Just understand that they didn't affect me too badly. I am not one of them."

The dark circles under her eyes seemed to be growing. "Alright, Juuhachigou."

Almost tenderly, she took off his jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders again. "Your tie looks so stupid." But she kissed him, and took any venom out of her words.

He had to knock at the door. And then wait, and knock again. Finally, Juuhachigou took out a key and opened it for them.

"Typical," she muttered.

Inside, it was sterile, and simultaneously cluttered. He immediately felt claustrophobic, pushing aside radios and mysterious metal parts, and part of a car. In the center of it all, there was a huge computer, flashing rainbow lights, with several screens pointing in every direction, and a giant domed aquarium at the top. The walls were down in metallic wallpaper, and the floor was poured cement that felt slippery under his trainers. It was a bomb shelter/mansion.

Juuhachigou whispered encouragements. "Just ignore whatever they say. It's all lies. And I hate all of them, so who cares if they don't like you. Watch out for the TV's."

"What TV-" His knee was nearly shattered when he knocked into the Magnavox.

When they reached the dining room, him hobbling, everyone was there. For a brief moment, it seemed like an entire football team had gathered into the room. But that was dumb, since as far as he knew, the school no longer allowed Juunanagou to play sports. And no way would that little guy, who was already drinking from a flask, be allowed near the field.

Most of them looked like they couldn't even come within fifty yards of a school. Especially the one with the mullet.

"Did you bring any wine?" The short, purple-skinned man asked. Krillin had to take a second to fully digest his appearance. A lot of orange. That hat. That bowtie.

"No, sir. I'm not old enough to drink."

"Then what good are you?" He turned back to the table to his dirty plate, shaking his head at a large grey-skinned stranger.

"Did you all eat without us?"

"You should have come sooner." A mulleted man eyed them from underneath his dirty trucker hat. "Were ya'all too busy messing around in that car to come inside?"

"We were not making out in the car," Juuhachigou snarled, grabbing Krillin by the elbow of his sports coat and dragging him to the kitchen.

The silver-haired man held up gloved hands in defense as they left in search of sustenance. "I never said anything about making out. But that's awful specific of you now Juuhachi!"

"Just don't wake Cell in the basement," someone yelled. "We just managed to put him down."

Juuhachigou slammed a plate onto the counter. "Damn them."

The food was as varied and eclectic as her family. He found a taco that looked safe enough, part of a Caesar salad and some steamed salmon to fill his plate. Juuhachigou threw pickled beets around to stain the clean walls, and settled for some sushi to pick at and glower at her family over. Purposely, she overturned the pork fried rice, making Krillin want to weep.

As soon as they sat down, the group erupted into a new discussion, abandoning their topic of the state of their Dr. Gero's company, Red Ribbon, to what the worst way to die was. "I think being torn to pieces would be bad."

"Being eaten," Juunanagou added, his own mouth full of venison.

"Having your head cut off."

"Coma."

"Exploding."

A squeaky voice sounded behind them. "Was this the boy that made you get banned from that arcade, Juuhachigou?"

Krillin jumped, and then jumped again once he saw who was talking. He was very large, pale as Chaoizu, though his eyes were the same pale blue as Juuhachigou's. It didn't bring much relief when she flipped the overweight young (old?) man off. "Oh, shut up, Juukugou."

"So you two are sleeping together?"

Juunanagou began to gag, and without warning, reached over to Krillin armed with a butter knife. Juuhachigou swatted his arm away. "Knock it off."

"Is that a no?"

"Juuichigou!" Someone snapped at someone else, none of whom Krillin could make out. It seemed like a solid mass of oddly colored people in oddly colored outfits, a solid wall of odd people. He nearly had a panic attack. What was with them and boots? And the Red Ribbon insignia? The teenager wanted to cling to Juuhachigou so neither of them would get lost. "Stop licking the walls!"

"I always knew you were into weird stuff, Juuhachi."

Her brother had the pleasure of shoving the little guy out of his seat. "He got her kicked out of the arcade, but they're not sleeping together. He doesn't have the guts to even hold her hand."

"Maybe that's what she's into." The purple-skinned man had a laugh not unlike Krillin's own foster father, and it wasn't diminished from his place on the floor.

"You should sleep with the little guy, Juu. Or else he'll find someone that will give him the milk rather than making him buy the whole cow." The oddly southern accented man lit a cigar, and managed to make the gesture obscene. He had blue eyes too.

"It's not like that!" Krillin waved his arms around, sweating. Everyone just stared at him, except Juuhachigou who flicked a pea at her brother's face in-between glaring at everyone. "I love Juuhachigou!"

"What?"

"What does he mean?"

"Huh?" The smallest one dug the handle of his spoon into his ear, trying to clear the seemingly blocked passage. A dog with a hugely elongated forehead ran underfoot. It was so huge a canine, that the little guy could have ridden it like a horse.

"Juunigou, stop poking me."

"I don't know! It's just something he says. Ignore it."

"But I do." He took her hand. "I do love you Juuhachigou."

"Shut up, you're only making it worse." She was practically squirming in her seat.

"Damnit, Kyuugou, find you own seat!"

"Aw, Juuhachi, I remember when you were no bigger than my knee. And now, here you are with a boy and bein' in love." The silver haired man grinned maliciously. The way he dropped his g's was nearly as annoying as the weirdly knowing look on his face. "When's the weddin'?"

Suddenly, the biggest guy there reached out and shook Krillin's hand, causing him to bounce up and down. But his huge, trashcan sized hand was gentle. His voice was thick and deep and in a monotone. Maybe he was deaf? "Nice to meet you, Krillin. Juuhachigou talks about you occasionally."

"Does she?"

"Yes." The huge green-and-black clad giant finally sat down, and remained silent. His light blue eyes lacked the malice of Juunanagou, the clown, or occasionally, Juuhachigou.

"Juugogou, maybe you've had enough." Another huge man with a long black braid pulled an entire bottle of whiskey from the tiny man. His grey tinged skin wasn't helped by his green kilt, and his amber eyes were humorless.

There were very small bits of resemblance between them. A few with short hooked noses, some with thin carved faces, other round and doughy. Eyes that ranged from green to hazel but mostly a stark blue, and almost everyone's were almond shaped. All wore earrings.

Normally, Juuhachigou and Juunanagou were the best looking people in a room, but never did they so easily and quickly outstrip a group in looks. Even Krillin seemed normal here. His clothes had never seemed so nice.

"Nigou," Someone said seriously, "If you do that one more time, I'll set this entire building on fire."

"Oh god, is Ichigou eating the candles again?"

"What is this?"

They all turned.

Her foster father was impressively tall. He had taken them in after some mess with their biological parents that neither Juuhachigou nor Juunanagou ever clarified, obtaining the paperwork through some means never described. Krillin nodded to him respectfully, reminding himself that the blonde girl and her brother hated the man dearly, for reasons never discussed. Should he say something rude to him, or continue to be nice. He had both the hooked nose and blue eyes that slanted at the corners.

But the old man took that choice partially away from him. "This is him! This is the boy!" He pointed a finger at Krillin and everything.

Juuhachigou nodded.

"This is Krillin, friend to Goku?"

Another nod.

The scientist snapped his fingers. One to eighteen people hopped up out of their seat and hurriedly grabbed Krillin by his collar. He saw Juuhachigou, sighing and eating the taco off his plate while a dog knocked over something in the kitchen before he was hoisted over their heads. For a second, he thought they were doing some weird ceremony to welcome him. He's one of us! For better or worse.

Then they carried him to the front door, and threw him out.

"Don't ever darken this doorstep again, midget." Juunanagou threatened him. Gero glared at him until the short man's insides turned to jelly. The shortest one stopped to take a hit off his flask, but otherwise all headed inside, leaving the door wide open.

Juuhachigou stepped out to join him, still eating the taco. "That's very mature. All of you, bravo." She mockingly applauded them, lettuce falling to the floor.

"You weren't kidding," Krillin muttered, feeling his bruised back.

Dr. Gero rose another foot in height, staring her down. "I forbid you from seeing this boy. Look at him. Those clothes. The lack of piercings. This family doesn't need that."

She took a neat bite of her food. "And if I continue to see him?"

"You're no longer welcomed under this roof!"

Juuhachigou closed the front door for him. "Fine."

It opened once again, briefly, and out fell a ruffled Juunanagou. "Take this one with you too."

Her twin brushed himself off, rising smoothly. "So where's the next stop, sis? Back to the tree house?"

"No, not after the time it got struck by lightning," the blonde growled. "I've had enough with all of them. Especially the old man and his endless monologing."

"Mom's and Dad's?"

"I think they moved. I don't know. But I'm not moving into a tent on the front lawn. Not again."

Krillin nearly asked if that had gotten struck by lightning too. "…you guys can come stay with me? Right?"

Juunanagou was warier than his sister. "And where will we stay?"

"You two can share my room. I'll stay on the couch."

"Oh, joy."

"I guess I get to meet your family. Again."

"We'll try not to beat them up. Again."

**169. Was it Good For You?**

Master Roshi found them like that, leaning against each other, bathed in sweat. They were hardly clothed, and he lowered his sunglasses to leer at them, Juuhachigou in particular, but he made sure to wink at Krillin. Way to go, boy. He had not thought it was possible for him to get Juuhachigou in only a pair of small shorts and an old worn t-shirt that showed everything she had off rather nicely. But Krillin was a stubborn fighter.

Kami bless him.

"Do it again," Juuhachigou begged, while Master Roshi nearly choked to death on his own spit.

"You do it to me," Krillin pleaded.

"Fine."

And that was when the older hermit saw the spray bottles. When they pulled apart, it was the rather unappealing sound of hot flesh unsticking itself. They sighed in joy when they sprayed the other with cold water, and leaned back to back.

Then Juuhachigou caught sight of him. "What are _you_ staring at?"

Krillin began begging again, "Now, please, do me, do it again."

**170. Roleplay**

"I'm a mad scientist," she told him, dryly, "and you're the test subject."

Krillin burst into guilty giggles. His mouth brushed her ear and made her smile. "I'm the scientist, and you're the crazed Saiyan I allowed to live with me, for some bizarre reason."

Juuhachigou laughed long and hard. "And the Turtle can be Yamcha."

"Right; we'll draw some scars on him, and I'll dump him in front of everyone, and sleep with you out of revenge. But then you'll get me pregnant and win my heart with your sociopathic mood swings."

"Are you sure that's what happened?"

Krillin shrugged, "They won't talk about it."

"I'm the brain damaged Saiyan." Her tongue traced the shell of his ear. "And you're the country girl that will beat me after I stupidly promised to marry you, and then forgot."

Blasphemy, and her husband laughed again.

"You're the shape shifting pig…"

"And _you're_ the pervert who admires my collection of female underwear."

Another dirty giggle.

"How about," Krillin looked at her with narrowed eyes, peering at her through the strands of short hair that fell into his eyes. "You're the beautiful woman I saved from a monster, and you're just _so_ grateful. Obviously, I deserve a reward for my bravery."

"How about," She pushed gold hair out of her own face. "You're the sorry human I found at the side of the road, _begging _for mercy. Obviously, I'm going to make you work for that."

"We can't both be the one that's trying to make the other happy."

"Want to find out?"

Ironic sex talk was still sex talk they discovered.

**171. I'm poisoned from the very moment**

Krillin finally kissed her because, supposedly, reportedly, her face had been so sad and distraught through the evening, and shifted only to so bored and uninterested when the party was over. She was busy hanging around by the stairs, alone, and allowing him to kiss her without public shame or embarrassment.

It was simple and nothing exciting. He could definitely say that when_ she'd _kissed him, there had been more fireworks. _That _time he'd nearly jumped out of his skin, while being unable to move or even breathe. Actual sparks had blazed briefly in his eyes.

But _this_ time, even if he didn't feel his heart exploding, was nice. Her cheek was smooth and slightly cold, and Juuhachigou didn't hurt him for touching her. It was just peaceful and easy. Almost friendly.

The blonde woman just stared at him with wide eyes, taken aback.

The short man smiled at her, saying good night and waving to her before moving to his assigned guest room that Bulma had offered all her friends.

So he missed the way Juuhachigou's face went pink and she had to lean against the wall before stumbling upstairs to her own room, eyes vacant as she played something over in her mind, over and over.

**172. Blind Date**

She just sat there, drinking a cup of good wine, waiting in a nice restaurant for a man she had never met. This was a terrible idea. But her friends had talked her into it. Holding up a new dress they'd bought for her, only for this moment, holding it hostage. "You never go out, Juu. And I know a great guy."

"Really great." Chi-Chi's grin was a trifle cruel. Too many white teeth glittered towards her.

It was all a terrible joke. Who was this awful guy they were setting her up with? What did he do? Probably just escaped from prison, or don't worry, he's out on parole, a real sweetie, just make sure not to vacation outside the state. Her brother had some rough friends/acquaintances, but Juuhachigou preferred not to spend time with people who didn't know 'cigarette math.' Except for these two, who'd spend a night in the local jail after a night drunk and disorderly that had occurred thankfully before Juuhachigou had met these two.

Bulma just said he was a childhood friend, one she'd known since she was a young teenager, 'innocent, carefree but just as lovely,' the blue-haired woman had described herself. 'And Chi-Chi, well, she's even more beautiful since she got married not soon after, she glowed, too bad you missed the wedding. Great time.' But mysteriously, both she and Chi-Chi were scarce on details for her _date_. They refused to even give her a name to search for online to at least get some impression of him. What little they told him only made Juuhachigou more wary.

"He's a little short. Dark…" they shot a look at each other, their words stilted. "H-haired."

"Nice though."

"Really nice. Funny, in a way."

Chi-Chi clung to that as a lifeline. "Yes, _funny_."

"Good sense of humor."

"Lots of jokes. Lots and lots of jokes."

"Everyone gets along with him. He's probably the closest thing Vegeta has to a buddy. Oh, calm down. It's okay." Bulma flapped her hands. "He's not like Vegeta at all."

"Polar opposite," Chi-Chi assured her.

"In good shape."

"Oh, yeah, definitely."

"And_ funny_."

"_Super _funny." Both her friends had nodded. Juuhachigou tried to remind herself that these were two decent enough women who would never literally leave her for the wolves. Friends who bribed her and wanted her to be happy and meet a nice guy.

Was it better or not that she had met them after college, and so they had no idea about her earlier boyfriends and crushes that she'd had during those awful years. Oh god, the moody art students, especially that one guy with the scarves and inability to enjoy anything that weren't his own abstract geometric shaped sculptures, including her. The shy punk singer she'd miserably tortured herself with, all safety pins and tattoos and inability to look her in the eye. What'shisname who worked in a shoe store part time and with whom she'd had an off and on again fling that ended when he ran off with some blue girl with the curliest orange hair that Juuhachigou had ever seen.

But for this lovely dress that clung to her and must have cost at least one of her paychecks, she could withstand at least a simple salad before fleeing. If it wasn't too bad, maybe she could order something expensive before escaping. The bathroom was close to the door, and she thought she could make it outside without too great a fuss.

The only man who came to her table that wasn't a waiter, but he could have been what with the way he stooped his head. He looked_ funny_; Juuhachigou would give her friends that. There was technically hair on his head; on his eyebrows, and it _was_ dark. A _little_ short, yes, sure, if you held him in comparison with someone who sang on a yellow brick road, or Vegeta. Whom he was apparently quite close with.

She finished her glass of wine, and poured another with a steely grip on the bottle. She would need this.

"Hi," his voice was nasally and shy, a bad combination. A bad sign. "Are you Juuhachigou?"

A little flush darkened his pale face. Up close…where the fuck was his nose? Where they _fuck_ was his _nose_? Was it so much to ask her date had a _nose_? She would kill Bulma and Chi-Chi for this. Juuhachigou would put one in the corner to wait while she slaughtered the other, so they could listen to the grisly murder. His eyes were round and guileless, and brown, no, _grey_. He looked at her, mouth a little open, taking her in.

He must have seen something in her eyes, because he slumped and looked further defeated.

Maybe she felt an unfamiliar surge of pity, because she didn't immediately leave. Maybe she was flattered by the obvious stunned expression. Maybe she wanted the lobster bisque, but didn't want to pony up the money for it.

So all Juuhachigou said was, "You're late."

Which made him perk up, like a flower that had been briefly trampled. By that comparison, he seemed a little taller. Sure, he was odd looking, but probably hadn't spent much time in jail. If he had, clearly he was tougher than he looked; otherwise, he wouldn't have made it out of the prison yard or laundry alive. Was that good or bad?

She took a sip of wine, and turned that over in her head.

He sat down. "You're Juuhachigou, right?"

"Yes. Of course. Bulma never gave me _your_ name though."

"Oh well, it's Krillin." He almost made a move to shake her hand, but then nervously ran it down his tie to straighten it. It was a blue tie, worn with a white shirt and a plain black sports coat and (when she glanced downward) a pair of black pants. Krillin looked okay, and she had a sneaking suspicion that someone had picked these clothes out for him. There was something in his off-kilter appearance that spoke of polka-dot ties combined with stripes and polo shirts in ungodly pastels.

Krillin then. _Kriiillllin._ Not a terrible name. It could have been worse.

"Did Bulma," Krillin seemed to be searched for the right words to say. "Did she talk about me a lot?"

Juuhachigou held her hand up, motioning, eyes narrowed suspiciously. She went through the few times Bulma had mentioned Krillin directly. "She said, he's nice and all, but he's always…always…then she just sort of trailed off."

He touched his chin with his thumb forcing his lower lip to the side, a big cute innocent expression that was way too effective. Did he even realize that? "Well, you know how Bulma can be."

Juuhachigou was not entirely convinced. Bulma was crazy, sure, but that didn't mean her friends were any saner.

Krillin seemed to realize this, and perhaps desperation awoke some joking side from him. He grinned, drawing a reluctant smile on her own face. Already, he was making her do things she didn't want to do. But at least with him, this didn't involve almost getting tattoos or going to pretentious art shows.

"Let's just order."

**173. Everyone believes in something**

For some bizarre reason, as the hour grew late and the sun was long gone, their discussion turned to religion and belief.

"You did meet Kami, in fact Krillin, you even died."

Even in an argument over theology, something neither was well versed in, Chi-Chi sounded confident. Behind them, Goten turned over, but didn't awaken or cough. A good sign.

"But what do you believe in. If you didn't _know_ there was an afterlife."

She looked into her tea, tired but the years had treated her kindly and would still do so for quite some time. "I think I would still believe in it."

"Sometimes I still don't know what to think about that. Even after hearing from Goku, and the others who trained with King Kai."

"Do you remember anything from your time being dead?"

Krillin shook his head. "Nothing."

"Do you think Goku is watching us?"

"Possibly. If he isn't busy stuffing his face and getting into fights." Chi-Chi huffed and grumbled some more under her breath. Krillin was used to it, and only refilled his cup.

Chi-Chi stared at her youngest, his breathing steady and relaxed, finally getting over his later winter flu. He looked exactly like Goku must have, when he'd arrived as a tailed infant with the name Kakarrot and a mission to destroy the planet. "I believe in second chances, and that some people can change when given the opportunity."

"Do you think that's possible? What if the person doesn't want a second chance? Or any redemption?"

"What does that leave?"

"I'm not sure." He admired his drink, Perfect blackness in a glass.

"After all Goku's done, and since I have to chase Piccolo out of here at least once a week to get Gohan back to his studies, I do have to say that…" The once-again widow tapped her spoon on the porcelain. "If someone doesn't want a chance to redeem themselves, then you shove it down their throat and make them change."

**174. Camping**

"Is Gohan coming along?"

"No."

"Bulma and Trunks?"

"Nope."

"Just you two."

"Just us," Krillin agreed, zipping up his sleeping bag and struggling to repack it. Then he started in on the checking for supplies. Some cans of peaches, a couple of creamed corns, some green peas, she'd like that, wouldn't she? Jeez, who kept buying dented Spaghettios? Aw, oh well.

The turtle hermit looked taken aback. "I had no idea you and Juuhachigou were together."

"_What_? What are you talking about?" His recently grown hair was standing on end.

"Whoever you take camping, you'll probably end up humping."

Oolong nodded wisely. "It's the law of nature. Or something."

"The crickets. The canned food. It's romance, boy."

All the expression slid off his face. "But, Juuhachigou invited _me_."

Both Oolong and Master Roshi raised their glasses in a toast.

The clatter of cans and pots and pans made Krillin jumped into the air. His fingers found each other, and remained clenched in an embrace. One maybe not unlike the one Juuhachigou wanted from him. In the cargo shorts he'd specifically bought for this trip, his legs looked short and pale. And not a nice pale either, more of a pasty tone than porcelain. This,_ these_, were the legs of the man she wanted to 'take camping'? He actually felt bad for her; she was getting more dented Spaghettios.

His eyes caught on his wrinkled sleeping bag. It was very small.

"Come on Krillin." Juuhachigou came down the stairs. "Let's get a move on before the mosquitoes start up."

**175. Submission**

A day later, she was back, standing exactly where she'd been. Krillin sat in the same place, but this time he had a bowl of cereal in front of him.

Juuhachigou stared at his food of choice. "It's four in the afternoon."

"I can have cereal whenever I want."

"True." She seemed even more off put by his stern reply. Things really weren't going to whatever she'd had planned. If, indeed, she had finally managed to come up with a plan this time aside from yelling at him and saying he didn't love her.

Which would totally end in more failure since he still completely did love her. More, even. She was so vulnerable beneath the hard stares and untouchable, unflinching confidence that had only been unraveled by a hideous giant cicada trying to eat her. Even then, she'd fought with grace, and had been so loyal to Juurokugou until there was no other choice. It had really been watching her try to save her friend that had fully cemented how he'd felt and eased the shame and guilt. There was a kindness hidden to her, deep inside, that was as attractive as the, um, outside.

Which only looked nicer than usual, maybe, in the clinging jeans and a plain t-shirt.

He still didn't understand how she'd managed to come into the building to easily, and with no signs of entry. He'd thought about it, walking around the house and trying to discover anything that looked disturbed or out of place. But the weirdest thing he saw was his reflection while he prowled the halls with suspicious eyes and came upon a mirror.

Maybe she had a key?

"So why do you _love me_?" She hissed the last two words. They seemed to make her only angrier, those words, and having had to say them aloud.

Krillin had another spoonful of cereal, and motioned for Juuhachigou to have a seat. Which only seemed to remove even more of her confidence. She didn't sit down; deciding to stand would keep her rage alive and burning. _But really_, Krillin thought, _her legs will probably just get tired_. The blonde woman seemed to need some control over the situation though.

He understood.

"Is it just because your," a pause as she sneered and disgust crept into her voice, "attraction to me?"

"Well, that's part of it." He kept his voice light. If it cracked, broke, or stuttered, she would gain the upper hand. And things might get even worse. "You can't love someone without being sexually attracted to them."

_Sexually._ One side of her mouth crept downward, and Krillin worried that she was having a stroke. That word must have set off spark in her head, and perhaps burst a blood vessel.

"You _are_ very beautiful. Breathtakingly gorgeous."

The blonde's breathe caught in her throat as she stared at him. She was practically cringing and pulling away.

"You're probably the best looking person I've seen."

"Probably." Her voice was emotionless.

"Well," Krillin raised an eyebrow playfully. "There's your twin brother. I always did like brunettes…"

She gave a humorless huffing laugh she seemed unable to control. Or maybe it was a strangled cry for help?

He had another mouthful of cereal, feeling smug, even as Juuhachigou's head lowered. Never had the sugar coated, supposedly seven grained part of a healthy breakfast tasted so sweet. "But there are also other things I like about you. I wouldn't have done all that just because you're pretty."

"I tried to kill you and your friends. I only let them live to make them seem more pathetic."

"Sure, but maybe we deserved that. Besides," he waved a hand, dismissingly. "Just about all our friends beat at least one of us up at some point. It's like an initiation to at least dislike Goku."

Her eyes were unfocused, probably replaying something in her head about them. "I suppose that's true."

"And you're a good person. You haven't hurt anyone, besides us. And we healed."

"Without us, if you had used that remote, Cell wouldn't have killed all those people. Including Goku."

"Not your fault." Krillin sipped at the milk at the bottom of his bowl. "Goku had to do it, and I couldn't use that remote controller on someone innocent. It would have been wrong."

"You talk about morality." Her voice was close to a snarl. "But your best friend is dead, no matter how you try to deny your responsibility."

Krillin could feel himself stiffening, and his gaze on her turning sharp. "That's true. But what's done is done. We just have to move on and do the best we can."

Juuhachigou snorted in disdain. "Did the monks teach you that after they finished beating you?"

He smiled. "Goku did. After he finished beating me at something."

She looked at him, something not soft, but _softer,_ on her face. "He wasn't that great. A good fighter, maybe, but you could say the same of Vegeta. That doesn't mean that he was a good man," then she caught herself. "Not that _that_ means anything either."

Krillin kept the smile on his face. "You still hate Vegeta."

Juuhachigou scoffed. "Why would I _like _him? He gave me over to Cell."

"Fair enough." He peeked at her. "I also like the way you don't seem to let anything get to you."

"What do you mean?" She was trying to sound dangerous again, which for some reason only made his heart pound in a dizzying way, and made him continue. When had he become a masochist, or at least someone who went out of his way to look for danger? Of course, his mind was able to supply an answer easily: _when she kissed you_.

When it came to Juuhachigou, he would throw himself before Cell over and over again, before and after she'd been absorbed by that monster. So what was talking to her, telling her what she already knew, compared to that?

"You always seem distant to everything, above it." Except, of course, for when she was about to be killed, or Krillin mentioned something that had the word 'sex' in it.

He summoned his courage, but only was able to find absence of fear. He was already at the edge, creeping along over a huge height and barely hanging on. Might as well sing a happy song and take it easy rather than worry about straining his fingers and looking down.

"I don't suppose you're changed your mind."

"About what?"

"Oh, thinking well of me. Deciding I'm a nice guy. One that has a chance with you."

Amazing, how her expression was also exactly the same as the day. Finally, she sat down, as though feeling weak.

Krillin threw out a line, if only to get her to say something. Maybe something positive. Maybe. "Do you find me repulsive?"

Her words grated on his ears. "I have no interest in a bald, midget that doesn't even have a nose."

"I can grow my hair out. I shave it, you know. Why does no one remember that?"

"Well…" Juuhachigou said reluctantly, "I guess you would look better…"

Then, stopping suddenly, she looked at him, opening and closing her mouth as she replayed everything. Then she pushed back her chair, standing up again.

"I have no interest in you. You're..._you_. And I don't find that attractive."

That hurt. An _ouch_ so deep he wanted to drown himself in his milk. Breaking up with Maron was a warm cozy experience in front of a fire and a cup of cocoa compared to this. This was curled up in a ball with your shower running, sobbing and clutching the soap bad. Getting stabbed over and over again, and then spat in the face by the girl you loved painful. Punched by Goku awful. Worse still than having his friends go out and get married and have relationships and kids while you remained single for another year.

He wanted to throw himself off a cliff, but that wouldn't have been quick enough.

Not even a little attractive? Not hideous? Something?

Krillin refilled his bowl to hide his expression, trying not to spill cereal while dealing with his watery unfocused eyes, and when he looked up, Juuhachigou was gone again.


	8. 176 thru 200

A/N: So, messed up the last chapter, and didn't have a single Trunks POV. For some reason, thought it was included in that part. So, here, you get two. Lots of drinking and moving in this chapter.

Thanks for reading, for the reviews and for favoriting.

_So if you're lonely_  
_You know I'm here waiting for you_  
_I'm just a cross-hair_  
_I'm just a shot away from you_  
_And if you leave here_  
_You leave me broken_  
_shattered, I lie_  
_I'm just a cross-hair_  
_I'm just a shot,then we can die_  
_I know I won't be leaving here_  
_With you_

_I say don't you know_  
_You say you don't know_  
_I say... take me out_

Take me Out, Franz Ferdinand

* * *

**176. Single**

His Master smelled cherry blossom scented incense and knew nothing good would come of this. He braced himself, and then opened the door, covered thickly with paint and poster and pictures and an old childish sign warning people to stay out on threat of slow death.

"Master." He nodded his head gravely. The sad stubble growing unevenly on his face and bizarrely well on his head looked darker than ever. His arms were skinnier than they had been since he was a teenager just beginning to get what little height he could and ate pounds of food that made no appearance on his slowly growing body. Whose back kept breaking out in harsh painful red blemishes that he could do nothing about, with no problem shaving his head along with developing a taste for depressing books and had a harder time than ever making eye contact with girls.

Back then, when Goku had been his pupil and still alive and things seemed simpler.

"Krillin."

They looked at each other.

"Are you alright, boy?"

"I'm fine." The closest thing Roshi would ever have to a son sounded distant. "Better than I have been in some time."

"Ah. That's good." He nearly tapped his staff against the floorboards out of discomfort.

Krillin didn't look any better. Wearing old torn clothes. Purple bruises under his eyes. He looked like the type of guy you saw on the side of the freeway, holding a sign with a dufflebag that no one ever stopped to pick up, even if it was raining. _Particularly_ in days with bad weather, it seemed. Sitting on his unmade bed with legs crossed in mediation. His socks were in desperate need of mending and washing.

"I have come to a conclusion."

"Uuh. That's good?"

"Yes." A slow nod with that delicate looking skull. "I'm taking a vow of celibacy."

"Oh boy." Beneath sunglasses or not, he didn't dare roll his eyes.

"I may or may not go back to the temple. I'll at least take a stop there."

"You're leaving?" He had a feeling this wasn't a good, self-esteem boosting training mission.

"Soon. Very soon." Krillin didn't sound soothing or at peace. Just deeply disinterested. Apathetic. Poor boy.

It wouldn't be right to let him wander off in this condition. Too easy for him to really end up in a temple, combing a sand garden, and more lost and unhappy than ever. That far eastern place had never been his home like this place had been. "You don't have to leave. When I said I was planning on making you pay rent, that was a joke."

"I know. I do. You've been very kind to me." His chin nearly touched his chest, and every breathe and word looked to be a strain. Had he been younger, the turtle hermit would have given him a shove to knock him over, and then pulled the blankets over him and told him wordlessly that he was being foolish now, and that he needed a nap.

"Krillin, it's not your fault that Goku died."

He twitched, as though just waking up from a dream. "Oh, it sorta is. But then, it's kinda Vegeta's fault. For..."

The young man had never fully explained what had happened with Cell. And the androids. One of whom looked like a pretty young woman and who had laughed in Krillin's direction when they'd showed up looking for Goku. That no doubt depressed him, but even so, he looked so down lately. And really, why should he care about her, that thing, just because she looked like a girl?

"And Goku too, if he hadn't given the senzu bean to Cell, maybe Gohan would have been able to defeat him faster." Krillin definitely did not blame half-orphaned Gohan for anything, that was for sure. Another sign of what a decent man he'd grown to be.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Krillin looked like the scared boy who'd shown up at Kame house. Big eyes and loose mouth. "But there is."

"You did your best."

"I let Cell take her."

"What?"

"Take the android. That's how he got to his perfect form. Me and _Vegeta._"

Yamcha had mentioned something like that, but never accusingly. "You're not Vegeta. You didn't risk the world for a challenge."

"No." He looked contemptuous. At least it was a spark of life. "I did it for a _girl_."

Tricky here. "You're a nice man who wasn't willing to kill someone that looked like a young woman. Nothing wrong with that."

An awful/good expression came over his face. "What do you mean, 'looked like a woman.'" There was some fight left in him after all.

"Krillin. She's an android."

"So?"

"A machine. Now, I don't blame you. I too have a weakness for the fairer sex." He tried for a smile and was met with that mulish look. "But a robot is not a woman."

Krillin was leaning forward, arms shaking. "_She is_! You don't even know her."

"Neither do you."

"Better than you. She acts human and looks human. I don't-" Something thick and despairing came over his face. "I don't know what to do Master."

He sat down at the corner of Krillin's bed, feeling the dying springs under him. Girl problems were easier than dead best friend problems. A sudden thought occurred to him, _what would Goku do and say to thi_s? "Now, you always have some plan."

"She doesn't," He bit his lip before spitting out, "She _doesn't even like me_. Or care that I exist.

"I don't know. She said, she said-"

"What?"

"That she'd see me again. Later. I don't know what that meant though. I haven't seen _her_."

"I don't want to give you some empty thing about other fish in the sea, Krillin. I don't. Obviously, you're wracked about this girl." If that was in fact what she was. "But for someone you obviously don't know well, who is dangerous, you're thinking about giving up on all girls."

Eye nearly rolling back in his head in pain and self-pity. "You don't get it. You've never met her."

"Even with Maron, you moved on. Now, didn't that feel like the end of the world? But you got up the next day, and the one after that, and after that too. And it hurt less and less."

"I don't want to let her go, though. This is different. I can't explain it. Totally different from Maron." He was speaking to himself mostly. "She's the exact opposite. In every way."

"And now you're going to make a vow of celibacy for her."

The round, stubble darkened face flushed.

"There's no one else out there? No one else. She's the last girl in the world." Now he was laying it on a little thick.

"Not like her." Krillin was looking at his hands, playing something in his head that Roshi couldn't see. "She's amazing. There is no one else like her. I mean it. No one else looks and acts and has been through what she's been through.

"I can't tell if maybe she might despise me, or if she likes me a little.

"Yamcha said-"

"Stop right there."

"I know. But she did say she'd see me again. And well, she, uh, gave me a kiss when we first met."

"Oh, a kiss. Well, no other woman would do that."

"Hey. Don't get sarcastic. No other woman who looks and acts like her would do it. It's, just, it's like she has this hold on me. Really. Like she performed surgery and wrapped a tether around my heart. And now off somewhere and dragging me along."

"You'll meet someone else."

**177. Olympian**

"At least he's stopped screaming," Krillin piped up, trying to sound optimistic, helpful.

Chi-Chi only gave him a sharp look, as though she hadn't dug her fingernails into her skin in fright at her husband's scream. The marks were still on her face. Goku, however, seemed quite peaceful.

The lilac-haired fighter too in the content face. Was he dreaming? Or just in a deep sleep? Perhaps remembering his earlier adventures and miraculous fights? Did he ever think about his battle with Frieza, or Vegeta, or Piccolo, the Demon King?

Trunks did. Even if he hadn't seen this man before except in photographs, he had learned Goku's tales from his mother. He had listened to her telling him fondly about the wild-haired man that could never be defeated since her son could only reach her knees. Bulma Briefs had often sent him to sleep with images of an orange-and-blue clad man coming to his rescue, saving everyone from the monsters he hadn't yet seen. And he wasn't even Gohan.

Goku, he would save Gohan, with his young, tired face and worn smile that more easily fell from his scarred face than it appeared. He couldn't save everyone. Trunks could remember holding his mentors much larger hand and informing him before understood fully what death was even as it had taken the only heroes left, including both their own father, that Goku would come and save everyone.

Maybe now that expressionless face hid his plan for fighting the androids?

Just the thought made his stomach clench, in hope and fear. Goku, Goku was everything. He could do anything, defeat anyone, and had rarely lost a fight since he had first begun to help and protect other's.

…if the antidote worked.

If not…Trunks saw blue eyes, paler and infinitely crueler than his and his mother's. Their laughter tore his ears, cut his throat, blinding him with rage and grief and fear. He could never defeat them, even now, even now in this clean safe aircar they were in his own universe, perhaps laying waste to another city. They circled around him in this safe place, mocking, out of reach. No matter how many cities they turned to ash and broken concrete, there was always another. A curse to Trunks, as well as a blessing.

Always another chance to help, to succeed, as well as fail.

The man before him was everything a hero should be.

His friends were at his side, not unlike how he'd died in Trunk's timeline. Only this time, there was still hope. Trunks looked at them, one by one, the _other_ heroes in his bedtime stories. It was only Bulma who told him about them; Gohan rarely mentioned their names, and only in passing.

In this steady humming aircar, he could hear Gohan patient, tired voice_, "Maybe you should ask your mother about them…" _

His eye caught on Krillin's.

Mother smiled, the strain disappearing from her face and making her look young despite the wrinkles. In her grease stained jumpsuit, she could have been her teenage self. _"Krillin? Oh, he always had some funny remark to say. Or at least, he _thought _they were funny. He and Goku were inseparable as kids, and then on Namek he and Gohan became friends and looked out for each other."_

Now though, there was no smile on his wide, honest face. He looked strained and uncomfortable. "Trunks?"

Krillin had been the only one to escape the androids unscathed, which was strange. But not unlucky since the short fighter had the senzu beans to save the rest of them. He and the machines had apparently exchanged words, which made Trunks feel sorry for his mentor's friend. The androids were as cutting in their remarks as they were in their fights. If they hadn't beaten Krillin up, they probably only shook his confidence further.

He could almost hear Juunanagou's cold chuckle in his own ears. _One day_, he vowed, _one day I'll destroy you and your sister. Or maybe Goku will. _

_Even machines can be vulnerable._

Juuhachigou laughed and laughed.

"Trunks, about the androids."

"What about them?" A sudden tiredness rushed through his veins, and he could feel his body remembering their blows as they swiped him down like a bug, as though his old scars were reopening. His once shattered knee and arm ached and his back felt like someone had once again thrown him through several burned out building. When the half-Saiyan glanced at his hands, he saw the old scars and calluses that came more from helping his mother in her lab or looking for survivors in the wreckages than from his fights with enemies.

"I just…do you think there's a chance that the androids could turn good?"

"I don't understand."

"Do you think…is there any chance they might turn to our side? Can they _just _be evil? I mean," he fumbled for the right words, although Trunks couldn't imagine they existed. Was he defending them, this man who he'd never known solely because of what the androids did to him? "After what Gero did to them, and since Vegeta challenged them, and they might change their minds about hurting Goku. Since Cell is here, we have a common enemy. Can we find a way to work with them? They can't be completely evil."

"What, do you think that because they didn't kill us this time, they're okay?

"Because next time, they'll kill all of us. One at a time. They'll leave just enough for the other's to have to bury, and they'll pick us off one by one. That ways they can have more fun. Then they'll move onto people who can't even fight back. Children, families, innocents."

Gohan looked at him with unfamiliar gentle black eyes over his workbook. Chi-Chi touched his shoulder, lightly. A mother's touch. In his universe, Gohan no longer could quiet his own rages, even when his mom pulled him into her smaller arms, whispering that things would be better. He shoved her away, careful never to hurt her but unrelenting in his escape. At his death, as Trunks and Bulma brought his hurt body to her for burial, she had done that again, weeping as though she could bring him comfort now.

He saw it over and over again, everything he had seen before, and would see again. His throat caused the words to burn. "They'll kill all of us. Every single one."

Krillin looked at him, open mouthed. "I'm sorry, Trunks. I shouldn't have-" He shook his bald head, Trunks heard Bulma, _"Whenever he was sad, he would just laugh it off. No one took him seriously."_

"They will." His scarred hands shook, but it no longer mattered. Before him, laid the strongest, the best man in the universe. He had defeated just about everyone who came before him, and would have no mercy when it came to the androids.

He wanted to tell them all, to hold their hands and tell them as confidently as his mother had spoken of what might have been, '_Goku will save us all'. _

**178. What Happen In West City Should Stay There**

"I dare yooouuu!"

"No, no, you!"

"You!"

"Okay. But who am I gonna marry?'

She reeled forward, unable to stand straight, and ended up wrapping an arm around his shoulder. What he'd said had shaken the thought in her head to a flurry that she couldn't settle down or focus on. He was warm and comforting besides/beneath her. "Well, that_ is_ a problem, isn't it?"

####

She woke up twelve hours later, eyes staring at a white ceiling, with no thought in her head besides: oooowww.

The world was swallowed up. It loomed, this pain, and was pushed aside only for nausea to come swooping in and leaving her swallowing and afraid to even roll over. Every time she blinked, she swore she could hear the scratch of her eyelids against her eyes. When she reached up to rub her face, there was something cold and restricting around one of her fingers.

She had to hold her hand up, blinking numerous times, to make out even which finger it was. Oh goddamnit, had her stupid little brother put another one of those stupid finger traps on her, again? That idiot. She was going to saw one of his hands off, for this. Juuhachigou rubbed at her eyes. And obviously he'd gotten her drunk again, probably made her do something idiotic and then saved the pictures and movies on his internal hard drive so she couldn't erase them unless she chased and held him down to rub a magnet on his head. He would always laugh when she was annoying him, replaying those embarrassing moment just for himself.

Drove her insane. And from the mind-wrung feeling she was trying to deal with, it had been one hell of a last night. Never let her live it down.

When she went to tug the trap off, the cyborg realized that it was human skin rather than tightly wound paper. She had to open her eyes and try to get her head on straight in order to understand what she was seeing. Shoved her obnoxiously bright locks out of her face, to try and comprehend the sight and realize that the gold streak was not a strand of hair.

It gleamed, cold and dangerous.

Juuhachigou couldn't turn her gaze away from it. There was a distant echo of a thought without an exact clear starting point that bounced around her empty head. 'Now what had this thing come from?'

And then some sort of higher power laughed and waved a staff down with a cruel grin: someone besides her groaned and rolled over.

There was no air in the room. Slowly, she moved her stare to the other half of the bed that she hadn't even realized had been there. Smallish body, that was unfortunately not dead. Movement, rolling over, groaning. Then falling off the bed like gravity had slapped him.

He pulled himself up, after an uncomfortably long amount of time. Arms outstretched as he navigated the unfamiliar room. Wandered into the bathroom, the sound of his feet smacking against tile. A thud. Porcelain clanging against porcelain. Then vomiting.

Of course he had been naked as well.

Only sheer force of will allowed her to pull the sheet around her, and therefore (in theory) not guarantee Krillin's death. Seeing her naked while they were both, presumably, drunk was an awful thing that had to be punished. But sober and seeing her without clothes was worse and would be his death warrant. Because her rage was boiling up and even the softest reminder of the shrimp's friends wouldn't be enough to stay her hand at a certain point.

He was clutching the toilet like he might a woman. Like he may have held her, god help them both. Barely turned his head to look at her. A shiny gold ring on his left hand that perfectly matched her own plain band.

"There better be an explanation for this!"

Disgustingly (even through her layer of anger she could be repulsed by him), he burped something up before spitting into the toilet. The smell of vomit was really, really improving this situation, he should just do it all over her feet as well to make her day even better. Juuhachigou eyes kept flashing down to his ring.

"_Did I marry you_?" She howled at his huddled form that finally looked at her with nothing less than horror. "Did _we get married_!"

There was no sign of recognition or intelligence in his dark eyes. "Whu?"

One white hand clutched the sheet with the same force of her clenching teeth. She stepped forward to shove her other hand in his face, just barely keeping herself from slapping him. Already so consciously furious of things that couldn't be fully named, of his weakness, of the desperation that clung to you, his intrusion into her life, that bomb, the bomb, the bomb she sometimes wished so dearly still existed. "Do you see this, you worthless—"

Had to literally bite her tongue. Remember Gohan. Remember Cell. Remember what Gohan did to Cell.

"Huh?" That stupid blank hanging face that nearly looked ready to touch his knees.

"Do you have _any_ memory of last night?"

Krillin shook his head, wiping something unpleasant off his chin. In the morning light streaming through a pleasant window that wouldn't open in case someone tried to kill themselves, his features were unpleasantly clear. Round bland innocence and stubble darkening his cheeks and head. She wanted to join him crouched by the toilet to heave her guts out.

When the anger seeped away and left little other emotion behind, Juuhachigou tightened the sheet to her and left the bathroom.

"Juu? Juuhachigou?" Krillin practically had to drag himself to the room. Their room. Shudders upon shudders.

The blonde woman practically got dressed in front of him, the white billowing bedding wrapped around her back only hiding her. All she was at the moment was hands and arms to tug cold pieces of fabric over a body. But already she'd made the vow to never see him again, and to do her best to block this entire night away in a dark place that was never to be opened. She took two steps to towards the window that showed a nice view of some city that she couldn't name off the top of her head. When the thing trapped around her finger caught on the sun's glow as she reached to yank the window from the wall if she must, her face turned into a snarl. Krillin was still on the ground, almost begging for absolution of some sort.

He flinched when she tossed the ring at his head, and again as she broke the window. Never had air been so sweet. It was the easiest thing to slid through the frame and escape, and also equally and pleasingly undemanding to not look behind her.

###

A bird had flown in to rest on the window sill, and stare at him. Its black eyes reminded him eerily of Goku, like the guy had been reincarnated and come by to check how his friend had been doing. That's what eventually got him off his chair to shoo the cawing bird away.

Now the room was utterly empty.

Krillin slowly moved back towards the table, sitting down with an athlete's grace that was so at odds with his appearance. He had to pick up the papers, sort through the pictures, pick at the wound, scratch at the scab.

They never changed, no matter what he did. Yes, that was definitely still him and Juuhachigou making stupid faces at the camera, going to touristy places and having strangers take pictures of them acting like fools, her laughing and kissing his cheek while he blushed like a fool. The way the evening got worse, casino where they'd apparently won quite a bit of money, the serious kissing and pinning while no doubt fumbling with the camera one-handed, the jewelry store trip, the cheesy drive-thru wedding building that they'd stumbled from and had another helpful stranger take pictures of them outside. Waving around a certain piece of authoritative paper that had the upset acids in Krillin's stomach bubbling again.

At the least, he had to find her to give her half of their crumpled earnings from the casino. Minus cost of room and repairs.

So, he'd gotten married after all.

He had to laugh and laugh until someone knocked at the door and scared him very badly. Now he could understand how silence could be deafening.

"Room service."

**179. And then it was gone**

"You only care because you're attracted to me, and you think being nice will make me like you more."

He sat on the lawn chair, looking up and her, and feeling the melting ice cream dripping onto his knuckles. "Well, wouldn't being nice make you like me more?"

"Obviously not."

Krillin shrugged. "I'll still be nice to you. I'm a nice guy; that's what I do. To everyone."

"And you can continue to shave your head. I am unimpressed by the fact that you can grow _hair_."

With a lack of embarrassment that made Juuhachigou flustered, Krillin unabashedly licked the drying ice cream from his fingers. Being out here under the hot sun with a cold treat, he felt young and innocent. Especially with stubble darkening his scalp. When was the last time he'd had hair, three, four? Even on Namek, he'd shaved his head religiously. "I think I look better, thank you very much."

The slim blonde woman sat down, and only Juuhachigou and perhaps the Saiyan prince, could make such a move so angry and so aggressive. She was, he saw to his amusement, pouting. "You can't look worse, I guess."

There was a pause, and he ate more of his melting ice cream while she built up her rage. "Why did you shave your head? You looked ridiculous enough."

"I was a monk, and thought it was safer if I kept it shaved."

"You stopped being a monk years ago. And you died twice. And for someone who wanted a wife so desperately, you didn't exactly make that any easier on yourself."

He shrugged. "Maybe I thought it wouldn't matter. Shaved or not, girls wouldn't like me."

"Still," her voice was quiet and thoughtful. "Ridiculous."

"Maybe," Krillin agreed. "Want some ice cream? I mean, not mine. But I could get you your own."

Juuhachigou stared at him. She seemed to be trying to make up her mind on something. Him perhaps, whether or not to come back here, why she was here at all to talk to this half-wit.

"Say, Juuhachigou?"

Her face was polished ivory. "What?"

"How did you get inside the building earlier?"

She looked confused. What did it matter? "From upstairs. There's an open window in the attic."

This time, when she left, she managed to disappear so swiftly that he didn't notice he was missing his ice cream until he looked down.

**180. I'm homeless **

She stared down at him. "When I said you were a doormat, I didn't mean for you to literally become one."

"Um. Hiiii."

"Yes. Hello."

"Good morning."

"Fine."

"Are those pancakes I smell?" He beamed up at her, dark smudges beneath his eyes, clothes rumbled.

"Yes. But my brother's cooking. So don't expect anything to be unburnt—wait. Don't expect anything. I'm not letting you into my house."

"Please? Just for breakfast."

"Stop looking at me like that. Get up. _Get up._ Wipe yourself off." She had to pat the dust from the back of his jacket. He squirmed, moving away just a tiny bit.

"Why are you hanging around my house?"

"I've been everywhere. Capsule Corp. Bulma's crazy. Vegeta's crazier But Trunks. Trunks is the loudest."

"Is that a suitcase?"

"…yeah. Say, have I complimented you on your nice cabin here. So homey. But quite large."

Juuhachigou did her usual almost-glare at him. "Large enough for three, huh?"

"And with such nice grounds keeping." He flapped a hand toward the overgrown, patchy yard where have a car lay on its side and animals frolicked amongst the beer cans and burnt out firework remains. Ferrets, wolves, and bears in particular seemed to find their way into the yard to dig holes or rub against the broken engine block.

"To say nothing of the pleasant owners of such an establishment."

"We're not running a bed and breakfast. I don't think." Now she was glaring in the direction of her brother. Who had an unfortunate tendency to smoke cigars while cooking bacon and act like some surly short order cook.

"Such lovely hospitality can't be found everywhere-"

"Tried Gohan's house?"

"-_Anywhere_ else."

"Kicked you out too, huh. I'm afraid you'll have to peddle your wears elsewhere, little man. Maybe Piccolo will take you in."

"And such gorgeous visages found here. Incredible sights."

"What, of the burnt tree lying across the porch? The rusted out car frame?"

"I was not referring to _those_ sights before me." He tried not a smirk or leer or do anything that would have her mentally and emotionally and physically fleeing like when she'd jumped off Kami's Lookout. Krillin just smiled up at her, eyes wide and innocent.

"The broken carburetor? The Christmas lights still strung up? The Christmas _tree_, still lying over there? Or how about the deer head hanging in my brother's room—oh. Hm."

"How can any traveler just continue by stopping to appreciate such incredible, eye-gouging, mind-numbing beauty?"

"Shut up right now. Why do I even bother to deal with you?"

"The ego burst it brings? Plus, I can cook."

"Fine. Fine. You can stay here. Deal with my brother. He's taken to wearing shorts with his cowboy boots, so you can enjoy_ that_. Get him to wash his clothes. Maybe stop him from shooting off the shotgun in the house."

"I'll pay rent even. Um. Maybe. I'll get a job or something. Do errands for you two."

"This is how it starts with stray animals, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Feed them once, and they refuse to leave. Sniffing around for scraps."

"I just need a place to stay for a little while. I can help fix up the house. Take down the Christmas lights."

"Why are you here, begging for a roof to sleep under? Because that's really all we can offer you. That and Juunanagou's cooking."

"Master Roshi thought it would be good for me to get out a bit. Explore the world."

"This?" Juuhachigou looked around, lovely in a white t-shirt and thin flannel jacket. "This is the world? The one you want to explore?"

Krillin couldn't resist an outright smirk and guilty tilt of the head. Well, yeah. Hey, what could you do?

"Shut up. Don't look at me that way. You can stay, but you're cooking all the meals and sleeping out in the car. With the squirrels."

**181. Boys' Night Out**

Bulma hit the blinking red button on the answering machine, tapping a clear nail against the plastic button reading 'Delete.' On her own personal answering machine, it was usually messages from her parents, wanting to know if she was down there, and alive; or from her friends who wanted her to know that they were out there, and alive. In the next room over, she could hear Yamcha and Krillin arguing over what channel to watch, and the sound of them chomping on popcorn echoed in the underground tunnel.

Such a peaceful moment of time, you could nearly forget that in just two more years the entire world might be destroyed from a bunch of psychotic androids.

It took her several moments to realize what she was hearing. Whom she was hearing.

Vegeta?

What the hell? Since when did he even know how to use a phone? Had he really memorized her phone number? Or had he finally stopped ripping off the tag she'd sewn onto the back of his clothes reading, 'if found, call this number.' A purely emergency maneuver that she had hoped would never be necessary, like, say, his body was found in a ditch and needed to be identified by the local police.

His voice was cracking and popping. "Woman! You need to come here and bring me back to your home.

"I am stuck at a...place with food. A place to replenish the weak human ships that you humans ride around in. No. I am outside this place. It's very bright. And square. Rectangular.

"WHO ARE YOU—GET AWAY FROM ME; NO, NO I DON'T HAVE ANY 'SPARE CHANGE'!"

"What the shit?"

"Disgusting humans!" The Saiyan was now back to yelling into the telephone. "Outside the bright space. In a small room. Made of...glass. See-through material?"

"Where _are you_, Vegeta?" She yelled back at the machine, forgetting that he couldn't hear her.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! I'll destroy you, bearded weak human!"

A robotic voice spoke up, telling them both that Vegeta was out of time, and owed three dollars worth of change.

"What? _Machine_. Goddamn it."

There was a click.

"Message One Complete," a totally different machine told her.

The last time she'd seen Vegeta's sneering face, he'd just finished telling her that he had no need of her, or any other humans. Stomping out with his head held high and determined not to appear like the child he was.

And look at what happened. He was lost in the city, in who even knew what city, and helpless. Flying around was better than driving, unless you were completely lost and had no idea where to do. Then it didn't really matter how good a view you got of rooftops. The Saiyan should have just listened to her and never left the property.

She hit the 'next' button on the machine.

"WOMAN! You need to come pick me up. In one of those ships you drive in.

"This room. This see-through room smells of human urine! I think it's on my boots. Were they always like that...?

"You will retrieve me from this Hell!"

Then he hung up the phone with a thud.

"Message Two Complete."

Vegeta's voice sounded distant as he continued his drunken monologue. "There's a woman dressed as you are, woman. She keeps asking me who my 'dealer' is?

"I told her it was the Capsule Corp."

"Message Three Complete."

"I, I think this man has hair. No. Bald. He is bald. Is that a ten piece of human currency? He has floppy ears.

"He is a dog.

"What does the dog signify?"

Bulma laughed so hard she fell against a wall, hands blindly outstretched with tears in her eyes. She knocked over a lamp, and didn't care.

"Oh my god! Guys, GUYS! You have to come listen to this!"

"Is the dog enough? Will the machine take the dog?-NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY 'SPARE CHANGE'! I TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE!

"GET OUT BEARDED HUMAN! AND NEVER RETURN!"

Then the operator had enough, and cut him off.

"Message Four Complete."

The two men caught the tail end of that, and stared at the machine. Then at the hysterical Bulma.

"Do we need to slap you?"

"Slap Vegeta! He's drunk and lost. You guys gotta go find him. Or don't. Really. I have no strong feelings either way."

"Well, where is he?"

"In some phone booth. By a gas station."

"Which gas station?"

"Dunno."

"Well, that really helps."

"Yell at Vegeta! I didn't make him wander off drunk."

"Jeeeeez. A drunken homicidal Saiyan on the loose in the city."

"Like a movie. A horror movie."

"Thank Kami he got that tail cut off."

"Go find him then. If you want. I'm going to make myself another cup of tea."

So they left her, hands going to their pockets and shrugging at each other to communicate how lost they themselves were. The two fighters, one pale and the other dark, missed Bulma's smile over her mug as she pressed the rewind button on the machine, then play. Over and over again until her nails began to chip and her voice became a croak that echoed through the empty lab. Eventually, she went to make more popcorn.

####

"So, okay, I'm a lost, drunk, maniac who enjoys killing people."

"I knew it."

"Shut up. So, I'm drunk and lost and pissed. Where do I _go_?"

"The library."

"I'm not Gohan. Seriously. Where are we going to find the guy?"

Yamcha stretched his arms behind his head, almost yawning. "He said he was at a gas station. Probably cowering in the booth." He chuckled, missing Krillin's horrified expression.

"We have to find the poor guy."

"Krillin, this is the guy that tried to kill us all. Several times. Hell, you nearly stabbed him in the back."

"Now the guy's part of our gang. Living at Bulma, complaining about her yelling, eating her mother's food and using her father's training equipment. He's like you."

The ex-bandit shuddered, grey in the nearly street lights. "Don't say that."

"We should give him a second chance. Look, I'm not a fan of his. But he doesn't deserve to wander the streets, drunk and confused.

"Besides, think of how many people he might hurt."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Hey. I'm out here, aren't I?"

They glanced around their surrounding, eyes peeled for a Christmas tree-shaped haircut, skintight blue jumpsuit, furious eyes, a high power level. The presence of evil. Crying children and howling dogs. An explosion. Something. Anything.

"It's not going to be easy bringing him back to Capsule Corp, is it?" Krillin asked quietly.

"There will be a shootout with the cops, I bet. We'll probably have to go get Goku."

"Chi-Chi will _love_ that."

"You know, we were just asking for this, though. Going to Bulma's house. It's never easy with her. You can't just sit and watch a movie with that woman."

"Really? That's all we do when it's just us."

Yamcha raised an eyebrow and laughed uneasily. "Weelll. Okay. Sure."

"What?"

"Forget it."

"What?"

"Hm. Maybe it's because you two aren't. Eh. You two are_ friends_. She's nicer to you. I mean. Okay, maybe not nicer. But."

"She still orders me around. Last time I was here she ordered me to get a gallon of chocolate fudge ice cream. It was three in the morning. She wouldn't let me back inside until I handed it over."

"Still. At least you can leave easier. She expects less of you."

"Thanks."

"Seriously. If you'd dated her at some point, she wants you to bring back two gallons of ice cream at midnight."

"Yeah. Thank god she isn't interested in me."

"Aw, man. You'll meet someone. Hey. You dated that Maron chick, right?"

"But we broke up."

"They'll be someone else, I bet."

"When though? The androids are supposed to be here in a few years. What if-"

"It'll be _fine_. We're training for them, aren't we? And we've got Goku on our side."

"Sure. Sure. I just, okay, after Maron I'm more hesitant to jump into a relationship. But I'd still like to meet someone. Someone nice. And understanding. That won't freak out over the alien- best-friend thing."

"I swear on my good name, I will get you a date. Swear it._ And_ after Maron, I think I know your type."

"Thanks, man."

"No problem.

"…Krillin, is this how you expected to spend your time training for the androids?"

"Nope. But, maybe having to wrestle Vegeta to Bulma's will be good training for those monsters?"

"Yeah. If at some point we have to grapple with them. Sweatily. _Painfully_."

"And in the dark," Krillin muttered. "And possibly in public."

"Bet you breakfast he bites one of us."

"Suckers bet."

"Let's go find that crazy troll."

With renewed vigor, they continued the search. No one could say they were not thorough. Every alley was searched, dumpster doors thrown open, cats chased down and rats chased off, stores looked through, cashiers questioned. They asked people passing by if they'd seen a short fellow ("like my friend here, but with more hair") with a big spiky hairdo running around, cursing the human race. But whenever they'd finally tracked down the person they were directed towards, they just turned out to be a random weirdo.

Krillin finished another can of soda, knowing he'd need the sugar and caffeine in this trying time. Besides him, his friend was having a hard time keeping his eyes focused. "This sucks."

"Maybe we should wait until he stumbled back home?"

"Maybe. I don't see any fires, so how bad a mess could he have made?"

"Or any high power levels. Or any dead bodies."

"Yeah."

"Maybe he's just passed out in some gutter?"

Krillin nearly stumbled headfirst into a giant metal pig that displaying in retina melting bright letters the latest price of milk and carrots. "Jeeez." He stumbled away, half-blinded, and crashed into a nearly telephone calling box. Yamcha blinked owlishly at the sight, stumbling forward too late to help his old friend.

The smaller man turned his head and jumped immediately back up and into Yamcha. "Vegeta?"

He stared at the face partially squashed into the glass, the exhausted expression, the way he sat up and with his legs out like a corpse. His voice was slightly muffled, nasal. "Baldy?"

"Vegeta?"

"Weakling?"

"Vegeta! We found you."

"Thought you were dead, man."

"We were _worried _about you. Can you get up?"

"…Baldy?" He seemed unable to comprehend the sight of the two other men. Krillin wished he had a blanket to wrap around the Saiyan's prince's shoulders.

"C'mon Vegeta." He smiled at the slightly taller man, and was amazed it was not slapped off his face. "Let's go get breakfast."

Alarm awoke something in his dark eyes.

"And not at Bulma's either," he assured the prince.

"Yeah." Yamcha yawned. "I need coffee before I face her."

The pancake restaurant was warm and inviting, and smelled of French Roast. Yamcha nearly embraced part of the building to express his love and joy, and Vegeta _did_ end up literally hugging the wall for support while Krillin led them inside and waved off the waitress' concern.

"I think she digs you man," Yamcha informed his friend over the menus.

"Not into blondes," Krillin immediately dismissed out of hand. Sure, he might be desperate for a girlfriend, but he had a particular type that he was interested in. And when he met the right one, it wasn't going to be through settling. That's what Maron had been, just settling and ignoring all the problems until it imploded. And she'd even been closer to his type, all softly curved and exotic with that sweet smile and easy going nature. "Now, do you want waffles, or-?"

They watched people pass by. They ordered.

Yamcha kept rubbing his eyes, even when the food and refills for the coffee came. Vegeta stabbed at the pancake like he had no idea how to use utensils. Krillin watched him, sipping heavily sweetened coffee, and trying to make sure no one was hit with anything sharp.

"We should do this more often."

"Yeah. Hey. We could go out this weekend." Yamcha raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "Meet some cute girls."

"Really? That sounds awesome. How about it?" Krillin grabbed Vegeta's shoulders, and shook the other man.

"Baldy. If you touch me one more time, there will not be enough to bury."

"Hey," the short man smiled and reached for the blueberry syrup. "Vegeta's back."

"Then let's go dump him off at Bulma's."

"Right. This is probably her fault, anyway."

**182. Blondes or Brunettes?**

The security guard had to separate the two who were causing such a ruckus, one a desperate, frightened male, the other an increasingly desperate, frightened, angry female. Around them all circled a crowd of shoppers that found the sight of the fight more entertaining than anything the stores were offering.

The male's friends stood back with wide, frightened faces and offered no comfort to the man. Who in turn could offer no explanation. The woman herself seemed unable to do anything besides snarl, and clearly attempt to restrain herself from ripping the man's head off.

"All I did was ask if she was into blondes or brunettes. Harmless. Just wanted to_ talk_ to her."

"Ma'am? Miss? Lady? You're going to need to come with me to the security office to fill out some forms."

"I don't even _know_ her."

"I think she's going to press charges. You're also going to need to come with me. _All_ of you."

"Why the hell did I say bald-headed?" The crazy woman hissed, to no one in particular.

"Dude," someone said into their cell phone. "This girl at the mall is totally freaking out. I think it might even end up on the news. Look, that news anchor is coming over. With cameras."

"Why did I say that?

"_Why?"_

"Miss, please don't make me have to call for backup."

**183. With his last and final breath he mustered up enough strength to say... **

"C-c'mere."

Juuhachigou leaned in near to his motionless form. Her face all sculpted porcelain and perfect blonde hair. Above them, snow fell to the ground like ashes.

"Juu-Juuachi..."

"What?"

"Juu..."

"What?"

"Juu..."

"Just tell me."

"Avenge me!"

"Oh, get up." She slapped him a foot in the air. Already, they could hear people coming closer, determined to bury them under a mountain of snow and destroy their fort. "It was just one snowball. And it barely hurt you."

"You don't know that. I could have brain damage. There's three of you! There's three of you! There's three-"

"Oh, shut up. This is why our team is _losing."_

**184. I need protection **

He ran through the streets, looking frantically for a gas station, a pharmacy, a general store. Passing strangers stared at him, being passed by a hurried man with crazy hair and insane eyes that he didn't recognize as his reflection in the windows. Juuhachigou was waiting in the car, for him. Waiting for him. And he could see her again, even as the world blurred around him, the nervous expression on her face as she tried to tell him that tonight, well, tonight he might need—Krillin nearly ran into a telephone pole.

When he came back to her, the street lights were on. The car was freezing inside.

"I found one!" Krillin waved it into her face like a child would a good report card. He didn't inform her that he'd smashed a dispenser in a men's room for the prize inside.

She stared at his hand, then at his face, trepidation written all over her. Rethinking her decision to do this with a man who ran around clutching such an object like it was an Olympic torch. And had clearly had her second doubts while waiting in the car for however long it had taken him to retrieve something he'd never, ever needed before.

The mood trembled and faltered. Crumbled like the wrapper of this thing that from the look on her face, was no longer needed.

**185. I'm drunk on**

She agreed only to the strip poker game that Krillin had jokingly, blushingly suggested after she was sure the door was locked, windows shuttered, and a new bottle of beer was firmly in her grasp. Then she was shuffling the deck, gritting her teeth, and trying to keep her blood pressure low.

Across from her, a foot of tense space separating them. The short man seemed too stunned to do anything, just blinking and sweating. An occasional rictus smile crossing his face.

"Oh boy. Are you serious? Are you really going to do this?

"Wow. Can't believe you want to play. I was just kidding around."

The blonde cyborg shrugged.

Her own brother and his lumberjack cronies had spent enough time in the kitchen spitting around their cigars, swamping cards and yelling at each other in French for her to have picked up the basic rules for different card games. How to cheat from her brother in particular. The odds of her winning weren't against her, she figured. Could probably escape this with no more than a lost sock or two.

Besides, on an island surrounded by the sea, there wasn't a whole lot else to do. Any chance to pass the time free from the terrified shape-shifting pig, and the perverted old man was one not to be despised.

Having the chance to eye Krillin in just his underwear was a pure coincidental chance that she refused to contemplate for too long. So what if he would be wearing much, much less than he normally did around the house? And if she could order him to move around under the guise of a bet, if she could maybe get him to take her to the mall as well, well, what of it? In fact, she'd hardly thought about that at all.

His sweating became more pronounced over the complicated shuffling trick she managed to pull off.

"Uuuh. What does a three and a four mean, again?"

They both realized that his plan had backfired completely. He was as lost as a damp kitten here.

...And was therefore entirely at her mercy.

"So, a king and queen are better than a jack and a three?"

"Of course." Juuhachigou forced a sneer to rival a certain Saiyan's. Knowing that this was probably what he would have done in her situation made her pause and feel a moment of shame. "Don't you know anything about this game?"

"Okay. You win this round." He pulled off his shirt and threw it in front of them both.

The shame immediately evaporated.

"And this king and queen, are they good?"

"They're poison together."

"Oh, and I guess your five and eight are better?"

"In this situation, yes."

"Jeez. There go my pants. Great."

"Say, check those curtains for me? And what's that, did that socket just set off sparks? Check it, will you? The last thing we need is for the house to catch on fire. Right. That socket by the ground. Just bend down and…must have been my imagination, then."

"Look. You win, alright."

"We can keep playing. How about you just owe me some favor in the future? Now how about making sure that door's locked though."

**186. It Takes a Village**

She was literally surrounded by children. From all sides, swarming around, screaming, yelling, crying, crawling, drooling around her. Tiny faces, turned upward in happiness or despair. And Krillin was running around, holding the hands of two of the little human-like creatures. Who grinned up at him. And then other children began walking/crawling/stumbling over to the obviously gentle kindhearted man who was too short to be intimidating as other adults. Like her, with a frozen face that made kids take one look and step back.

There was a smell of apple juice and baby powder in the air. Why had she agreed to help Krillin babysit?

…Because she hadn't known he was planning on taking them here. If he'd clued her in on the fact that there would be hundred of kids here, in this indoor playground with the ocean of balls and miles of huge plastic tubing, and no alcohol in sight, she would have run screaming out the back door to the small house.

Taking care of her brother was less straining than this, and he knew how to use matches. But at least he didn't try to climb up Krillin's back. And the short fighter was all relaxed about it, having small talk with the kids and asking them how they were enjoying their day. Nodding solemnly at their answers.

Ignoring her, probably purposely. She had a bad, bad feeling over what this was really about. It wasn't going to be a nice afternoon, just waiting until Bulma and Chi-Chi came to pick up their kids after they were done shopping. Oh no, Krillin was doing his own shopping, by bringing her here, testing her out. Seeing how well she reacted around kids and the related stress they brought about. Well, so far she hadn't blown anything up, so there was that.

Kids. He was trying to get her used to the company of kids. That's why he was dragging her along while he babysat Trunks and Goten. Looking all innocent while leaving her alone with them and coming back five minutes to check and see if she'd killed them both.

She was the woman whom he wanted to marry and procreate with. Obviously, she wasn't going to strangle children or anything as insane as that. But it didn't mean that she didn't want to choke those kids out, when they were obnoxious, grabbing at her clothes with sticky fingers that she'd just helped them clean less than two minutes ago and begging for another cup of soda they would spill all over the carpet. Krillin had the patience to deal with that, while she would literally have to close her eyes and countdown to ten as the brats ran around and knocked over the couch. And she was the person Krillin had literally handpicked to be the mother of his children.

**187. Disaster with sweet tongue**

The note was a rambling, confusing read that she had to go over several times to understand:

_We weren't sure if you liked flowers, so we got you this instead. Since who doesn't enjoy baked goods, right? Unless of course you can't eat, in which case, we probably should have sprung for the flowers._

_But anyway. _

_Thank you for beating up Vegeta. That sounds weird, we know. But he needed it after becoming a Super Saiyan. He would go around the house bragging about it, __refusing__ to hold his son since it would be 'beneath a Super Saiyan.' The man, and I use that word loosely, actually went to Chi-Chi and Goku's house to supposed secretly, subtly rub his new strength in their faces. _

_Of course, no one understood/cared and Goku tried to get him to go fishing with him rather than being all threatened. _

_He really needed the drop in ego that you provided._

_So, we hope you'll enjoy this basket and have a taste for pastries. If not, call us and we'll send you some flowers. Or a gift card. But really, call us because we'd like to hear the details and thank you in person. You're a real value to society and a source of pride to all womanhood. Anytime he starts going off on how awesome he is, I can just bring the beating you gave him up. I'm sure in time he'll forget, and you _

(here the word 'probably' was noticeable crossed out)

_won't have to be afraid of him seeking revenge. Chi-Chi even agreed to have Gohan stop by Kame House more often to make sure Vegeta doesn't try anything. _

_Speaking of which, good luck in the house. As someone who lived there, briefly, I have to warn you to never leave your laundry unattended. Keep your underwear drawer under lock and key. Feel free to burn any creepy porn you find, since no one in the house will admit to owning the really weird stuff and won't get openly angry with you. _

_And when Krillin does that thing with the pouting and big eyes and follows you around, he's just trying to be nice. Give him a little kick_ (_not too hard_ *a happy face was drawn in here*) _and he'll go away. He's harmless and_

(again, the word 'probably' was scratched out)

_won't steal your underwear._

_Thank you so much!, and really, feel free to give us a call for advice, information, and whatnot. We really don't blame you for beating up the others since everyone always starts off that way in the group. And it's nice to have a girl fighter, too._

_Plus, _

(more words crossed out but when you held the note up, you could make out without too much squinting _'and for being nice to Krillin since he really needed a girlfriend after that horrible'_ before trailing off)

_I might have some blueprint stuff you might like. And we can go to the mall and have a Girl's Night Out! You'll probably want some normal interaction with people after living on Kame House. And I'll totally pay for everything._

_Again, thanks so much!,_

_Bulma Briefs_

_Trunks Briefs_

_Chi-Chi Son_

_Gohan Son_

_Goten Son_

Juuhachigou reread the note for the fifth time, looking away from it only to stare at the expensive, lavish muffin basket that the warrior's wives had sent. Smelling wonderful, almost overflowing with pastries, and she'd had to help the delivery man bring it inside since it was nearly bigger than Krillin.

I suppose at least I got something from that mess.

...Besides Krillin's infatuation.

She shrugged and took a muffin.

**188. It was a family secret**

"So," Marron stared at her the across the table, all blonde hair and scrapped knees. "How did you and Daddy meet again?"

Juuhachigou paused, frozen over her book as a small woodland creation might be before a slavering wolf.

The well-loved forehead wrinkled as she thought it over. All her father's furrowing and his forehead. Pondering over it as much as any six-year-old could. "I don't remember you guys ever telling me about that. How come?"

"It's complicated. Say, how about you go outside—"

But she could be as determined and nosy as her uncle. And she had his sixth sense for smelling weakness. Just like so much of parenting, especially as Marron grew older, sent Juuhachigou a curve ball that she didn't know how to avoid. "No! Tell me exactly what happened? Was it scary, like how Bulma and Vegeta got married?"

"You mean met?"

A small blonde head shook. "Married."

"…I thought Vegeta had destroyed all the tapes of that incident."

"But anyway, tell me about how you and Daddy met."

"Um. We met up north, in the mountains…"

After three cups of juices, her daughter leaned forward, eyes huge with surprise and sugar. But not even the drinks and the cookies (bribes) had put her off the trail. "What do you mean he tried to _kill you?_ How could Daddy do that!"

"He didn't! He crushed the remote, because he realized he loved me."

"That's when he realized it? You mean, he didn't ask you on a date, or anything? Just fell in love, while trying to _kill you_, Mommy?"

"You keep harping on the attempted murder. It wasn't even that. He was_ never_ going to use that remote."

"But he almost did! And that monster ended up _eating _you."

"It was _romantic._ That he was willing to do such a stupid thing for me. And it was fair, I nearly killed his friends."

"Why, Mommy, _why_? Why would you want to hurt Uncle Yamcha and Vegeta and Goku?"

"…they started it!"

**189. Ironically enough, I'd bought my own undoing... **

She had never seen her twin brother cry before. Disturbed, she had to do a double-take to truly comprehend the sight of tear glistening on his cheeks. Never, even as he fought and lost to Cell, had he been so distraught. Thankfully, the other two women had stepped out to stop Vegeta from eating all the food, and to make sure Roshi didn't get too drunk. Else the sight of Juunanagou in tears would have caused screams.

"Don't do this, Juuhachigou. Please."

"What, don't you like my hair like this?"

"This. _This._" Juunanagou's face turned a deeper shade of red as he hissed out, "_Him_."

"Calm down. Why don't you go have some champagne? Hand me those earrings, will you? Stop whimpering. And be careful with them, they're borrowed."

"No amount of alcohol will help this. I've tried. God knows I've tried."

"There's shrimp. Go have shrimp. Make small talk."

"You..._shrimp_. You can't be serious. Juuhachigou, look at me. Look at me." Her sibling looked deep into her calm eyes, his own bloodshot and crazed. Combined with his nice, if overly dark, formal suit, made him look like a truly high-strung mourner at a funeral of a well-loved friend. "Tell me this is all a joke. A way of _really _screwing with baldy's shiny head."

"Krillin has hair now."

They looked at each other. Once, not long ago, they could read each other's minds and had known what the other was going to say and do before they did it. No longer did they have such a bond. Because…of a shrimp.

"Besides." She smoothed down her dress. "You're the one that said I should 'stop living in sin' and marry him."

"I was joking. Joking!"

"Anyway. You're the reason I'm marrying him. In a way. You're sort of the one that." Juuhachigou laughed. "That started our relationship."

"Don't say that. Please. I'm sorry for kicking you out. I only meant for you to spend the night in the woods. That's all. Why did you run to him? Like you were just looking for an excuse!"

She turned back to the mirror, intent on getting her hair perfect. Then she would walk out of here, and be joined legally to Krillin in front of his annoying, well-fed and drunk friends. Her reflection hiked an eyebrow at her, amused. Her, getting married? At least someone was happy. Besides Krillin, who Juunanagou had last seen pacing around, giggling nervously at the stuff his stupid friends were saying about the 'wedding night,' that had probably filled her brother with rage and horror. "I meant that I wouldn't have kissed Krillin if I hadn't seen you messing with the guy in the first place."

**190. We'll pass out together**

Bulma and Chi-Chi both disappointed and scared her, with their latest scheme to set her up with Krillin. Whom she had absolutely no interest in, a fact made clear to everyone except for Krillin's ridiculous and moronic friends and her own twin brother. They all gave her flat stares when she would go on a rant about how misunderstood this entire situation was, and that Krillin's insane crush on her had no bearing on how she felt in return towards the stupid midget. It was not her fault he'd decided to cling to her!

Right, Juuhachigou, right.

Which only infuriated her more and caused her to slam doors hard, but not loud enough to not overhear, 'Wow, she has it bad for him.'

This time, when she somehow found herself going along with the asinine gang of fighters, she ended up having to share a room with him. She stared, open-mouthed, at her key card, then back up at the other women who were having problems hiding their smirks. Krillin came up, curious, always so eager to help (her).

"What's going on?" Smiling stupidly with his dumb face and…_hair_.

"Nothing. See you two in the morning."

"Okay." He waved goodbye at the two, raising his eyebrows a little at their laughter as they turned their backs on Juuhachigou and Krillin.

"Those bastard."

"Huh?"

"Utter bastards."

"Who?"

"Do you have your own separate room?"

"Well, Bulma said she was going to pay for everything so—"

Juuhachigou held up the gold lined card in a white hand.

"…that's your room, huh?"

"And yours apparently."

His face was doing that trying-so-hard-to-be-mature thing, where he'd fight not to blush and continue making eye contact. Like he didn't love this. Imagining sharing a room, a bed, rolling around on the cool sheets, entangled in each other, her hands in his hair and his hands down her shirt. Ripping off her bra with his teeth, and staring at her with those dark eyes that could leave her wincing and turning away from the earnestness. Just turning into animals as soon as they were aware from prying eyes-

"Well. I'm not going in that room." Krillin crossed his arms and shook his head. "Nope. I'll stay out here."

"Right on the couch."

"Not that tacky hideous bed. Right."

"Well. I don't know if it's tacky and hideous. But probably."

"Bet this couch is cleaner too. You've seen those special reports on the news. All that disgusting stuff everywhere."

"What disgusting stuff? Where?"

"You know." If he'd been in possession of a nose, it would be severely wrinkled in disgust. "_That _stuff."

"Can't even say the words, huh? But this stuff is, what, on the walls?"

"Walls, ceilings, furniture, TV, remotes, lamps." He was shuddered. "Carpets. Drapes. And the bathrooms."

"…How do you suppose it gets up there?"

"I don't want to know."

"I guess it's really better to just wait here then."

"On the couch, yeah."

When she woke up, it was to the sound of giggles and cheers. She lifted her head up, just enough to take in the sight of Krillin passed out on her stomach, and of his idiot friends laughing over them.

"Couldn't wait until you got into the room, huh?"

**191. Ghost**

When he hobbled to the kitchen, feeling the long afternoon before the couch watching television more than all the years of martial arts, his remaining pupil's wife was standing in the kitchen. She rarely was alone with him, and even rarer, she wore no scowl or frown. Her face was open, young as a girl, innocent in its sorrow.

The beauty that was undercut, in his fine opinion, by her coldness was back.

Her teeth, perfectly shaped, white, were bared. "I keep expecting him to be there. I see him from the corner of my eye."

Something flippant came to his mind, he'll be back any time now, oho, does the widow need comfort.

But then the old martial artist thought of the girl, young woman upstairs, of Juuhachigou's unlined face, and how he too keep expecting to hear the familiar laughter, the nasally voice and jokes, and bright clothed short form. How, after all this time and dodging fighting, he ended up being killed by his hypnotized brother-in-law while on a shopping trip. Juuhachigou must have blamed herself, and not without some truth to it.

"I miss Krillin too."

**192. Shots**

Juuhachigou looked at the damage, then back at her shocked daughter. Books were scattered underfoot, and the heavy wooden bookcase was cracked and marked from a firm hand. The familiar blue eyes were huge and reminded her of Krillin's own shocked expressions.

Superimposed over Marron's stuttering face, "Mom, I swear, I just meant to _nudge_ it," she saw and heard an old man with a needles, holding her arm with a cold, indifferent hand. The non-pain of the needle pricking her numbed, restrained body. "These nanomachines should give you added strength in case the mechanics don't hold."

Followed by a mumbled, "Hopefully your body won't reject them like Android Juuichigou. I'm still cleaning up the mess."

When Marron had arrived, perfect from the fluff of flaxen hair on the top of her head all the way to her pink toes (excluding the nose situation), everyone had breathed a sigh of relief. Even Bulma had seemed relieved, despite how she bragged about knowing all along that she would be fine, calm down. All while Krillin and Juuhachigou held Marron, weeping and clutching one another.

But maybe, maybe it just took a while to make an appearance. Like her nose.

"Mom? Mom?"

Startled back, Juuhachigou waved off her daughter's alarm. She rubbed at her arm. "It's okay. We'll clean this up."

They were halfway through the mess when Juuhachigou said, "Maybe you should take up your father's offer of training you. Or your Uncle's."

**193.** "**Hanging by a thread, clinging to three words you said."**

To put it mildly, this was not how he'd expected_ that_ moment to occur. He'd expect more rose petals, shiny eyes, angels descending from the heavens with harps and Goku who would give him a high-five. Not an exhausted mutter that fell from her lips with all the affection a bus driver might tell an annoying passenger to sit down, sir, this was their last warning, but it was the final trip they had to do before getting off their shift so why even exert that much energy?

Juuhachigou was passed out, ignoring him, maybe even not aware of what she'd said. And he couldn't sleep since brooding felt much more satisfying.

He's thought there'd be more hugging as well, rather than Juuhachigou rolling over and kicking him. She would finally say The Words during a long moment of looking deep into each other's eyes, rather than a vigorous, athletic roll around the bed that had ended more tiring than truly uh, _loving_. There hadn't even been any cuddling.

Yet this was the moment she'd finally spilled her guts about the full extent of her feelings for him. Somehow, what they'd done had shaken The Words loose. It was a little disturbing to realize his attempts at sweetness and romantic moments to draw forth her sentiments had been so futile, but something nearly violent and sweaty (not unlike fighting) was the thing to unlock her heart.

But because he returned her feelings, he accepted what she'd said.

**194. the color blue made her happy**

The last time she'd been by the cluster of tiny islands, she'd hardly noticed the sea.

What she'd mostly taken in was the sound of her brother complaining because he would have to leave the van behind, and being relieved that now they could finally fly. Juurokugou's face had been its usual carved blankness, but Juuhachigou had thought he was just as happy to be out of his cramped hold in the back.

Now she took in the vastness, the huge stretches of cold waves barely lapping at the beach. It's bright color a shade darker than the odd inhuman shade that the cyborgs and androids of Gero's creation all had. Over half the planet was like this, made of this dampness that rolled nearly to her feet.

She sat at the abandoned beach and watched the tide come in.

**195. House Hunting**

Things had been tense lately. It wasn't just that Juuhachigou had come back and put his roommates on guard, especially when he admitted that they were more than friends. The straw that broke the camel's back was when Master Roshi admitted that Maron had come back while he and the others fought the androids.

"Who's Maron?"

"Krillin's," a particularly angry glance at their bored guest. "Ex-girlfriend. A nice girl. Very stacked."

Juuhachigou gave him an ultimatum in the single sharp glare she gave to Krillin. It wasn't that he had an ex, since Kami knew her own past wasn't without blemish. But that obviously his roommates didn't like her, and if their relationship would continue, something would have to be done. Besides, any pleasure from sneaking around was diminished by accidentally trotting on old dirty magazines in the dark. Or on Oolong, passed out on the hallway.

'_Either you move out,'_ her glare said_, 'Or I leave.'_

So now he hugged Master Roshi and Oolong and the Turtle, tearfully, while upstairs Juuhachigou packed his suitcase and filled bags with his belongings.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much."

His Master's face was grey. "Krillin, you don't need to go."

"Krillin," Juuhachigou's voice sounded from above. Like an angel. "Let's get going."

Bulma claimed to have found the perfect place. "It's in the middle of the city, but with not too much traffic. Great neighborhood. _Wonderful _neighbors."

"…it's by you, isn't it?"

"Well, yes. But is that a bad thing?" She continued on before he could give an answer. "It'll be nice to see you guys more often. We never get together enough. Besides, you two can probably handle Trunks better than the sitters can.

"There's land right next door. You can buy it—Hell, _I'll_ buy it—and you can design your own house!"

Bulma had pamphlets and catalogues. Krillin guessed that Trunks wasn't getting along with any of the sitters or nannies that she'd hired. The scientist must have read that on the short fighter's face, because she immediately added, "I can pay for that too."

Juuhachigou looked through the catalogue. "Can we get the fence electrified?"

"Whatever you want!" Her smile was too large.

The next day, they came to check out the land. It was all but decided, silently, that this would have to be the place. Last night, rather than come back to Kame Island, they stayed with her brother. He'd found (stolen) someone's camper van, so all three crammed into a place that only could realistically fit one person with little expectations and no sense of smell or taste that only ate out since there was no real kitchen besides a microwave and toaster.

Bulma hadn't lied about the location. There were plenty of buildings surrounding them, all quality and safe. Except she had neglected to mention that it was not far from Vegeta's training capsule, and either from his energy blasts or just from his personality and rage, the land was dried and dead. A tumbleweed literally passed by, which was something Krillin had never actually witnessed before outside of TV.

"It's not like you wanted to grow a garden, right?"

Behind them, there was a large explosion that engulfed the surrounding area with smoke, followed by a desperate sobbing.

"…Is that Vegeta crying?"

"He only does it sometimes now."

"...I think we'll pass."

Another night passed. This time, Juunanagou had found a board game.

Half asleep on the ground, looking up at Juuhachigou sleeping on top of the table, Krillin came up with something new. "What about by Chi-Chi and Gohan?"

Her face went still in the little light that crept through the dirty windows.

"That would be great. Then we can watch Goten grow up, and help Chi-Chi with the boys. Gohan, he needs someone to talk to sometimes."

"I don't think that's such a great idea. I hardly know that woman, but I doubt she would enjoy having me as a guest-"

But Krillin grabbed her arm and dragged her eastward.

**196. Bicycle**

As a sort of compromise for her brother to spice up what he felt was her boring life, she agreed to get a bike. The technicality allowed her to find a beat-up bike that probably wouldn't even be missed, and throw it into the garage. Her brother hated it, saying it wasn't a real bike. "It doesn't have a motor!"

"That's the point!"

Finally, bored and having gone through the attic and basement several times for a distraction, they found themselves in the cluttered garage. There was no car to park inside, so neither of them paid much attention to what was inside. They found the bike, poked and kicked at it.

"I there's a tire pump somewhere."

"I can't believe you're going to use it."

"Maybe not use it. But, you know, fix it up. Something. Why not?"

"It doesn't have a damn motor."

"That's the point!"

Juunanagou stared at it, suddenly shocked. "Those colors. They remind me of something. Especially the bald tires."

"I don't get it."

"I know!" Excited, her brother slammed his fist into the palm of the other. "It's like one of the fighters. The shrimp. The bald short shrimp that's not as pale as the other one."

Juuhachigou stared at it. The peeling orange and blue paint. The worn _bald_ tires. "Oh, Kami."

"Yeah! Let's name it then!"

"No."

"No, let's! Krillin!" He patted the bike fondly, ignoring how the not entirely dried grease stained his admittedly already dirty hands and shirt.

"What?"

"I christen thee Krillin!" Juunanagou poked at it officially with a broken antenna. Then he started whacking things with it.

Juuhachigou looked at the bike. She lived with so much her brother did on a regular basis, most of it weird. Surely she could live with this. "You named it after one of the 'heroes'?"

"Sure, let me use this pump on Krillin." The darker twin refilled the tires. The gesture looked obscene. Now, she was uncomfortable on several different layers. This was wrong, and _disturbing_ on several different layers.

"You want to take Krillin around the block? Give him a good spin?"

"No…I…don't."

"You sure? Krillin's all pumped and ready to go." He squeezed one of the tires. "Yeah, any more and he'll pop."

"I'm sure," she managed. In regards to what exactly, Juuhachigou wasn't sure. There was a lot she wasn't sure about. Was the bike grinning at her with those white scrapes in front, or leering?

"You don't want to give him a ride? A nice long one? He could probably use it."

"…no. I…don't."

"Well," her brother looked disappointed. "If you're not going to ride, Krillin,_ I_ will."

She threw him off the bike, tossing him across the garage with a frantic cry of disgust and rage. He slid across the broken furniture and toys and lawn equipment, dirtying his pants further.

"Hey, I found a motor!" He poked at it with his fallen antenna. And then her brother poked at some more things, and gazed around, "Hey, do you hear a radio on?"

Juuhachigou could only hear his earlier statements ringing in her ears, and stare at the bike…at _Krillin_. Which it would be known as, for now and forever. "Maybe I _will _get a motorcycle."

** 197. How often does **_**that**_** happen?**

Juuhachigou straightened with a forced dignity, but easy grace that you had to respect, even after catching him rolling around with their short friend. Fierce, her expression was. She left Krillin, torn and dazed, on the floor without a second look at him. Or at the guests. Or at the glaring Master Roshi, who had such problems with her that he'd called the others over demanding that they pulled this she-demon's claws out of 'his son.' Out of curiosity and in hopes of helping an old friend, how could any of them stay away? Because he was at his wits end here.

So that was Juuhachigou.

Bulma and Chi-Chi sipped their coffee. "I understand why you want him to move out now."

**198. I should have asked for...**

Krillin was standing over her bed, eyes huge and hair in disarray. From the dark smudges under his eyes, she could tell he hadn't slept a wink last night.

She personally had slept like a baby, the sleep of the just and satisfied. Wrapped in a comforter and a cat's smile on her face as she dreamed of his disappointment over her setting the record straight.

"Juuhachigou. I told you last night, I, I'll do whatever you want. Right now. Whatever."

"Make me breakfast," was the first intelligent thing to come out of her mouth.

"Done." Krillin ran out of the room.

"Damn," she told the empty room. "I should have made him throw the pervert out of the house."

**199. The One With The Love Potion**

"So, either intentionally, or not—"

"This was not intentional!"

"-Bulma screwed up the remote controller." Trunks finished explaining to Krillin.

"I—okay, look, you didn't see those blueprints! They were horrible complicated." She looked at the fighter, who'd just been able to summon enough braver to approach the android, with her blue eyes overflowing with compassion. "I'm so sorry."

Krillin was currently unable to speak, what with Juuhachigou half-smothering, half-cuddling him. She seemed totally content to ignore the others' conversation. He tried to say something, something that sounded optimistic from his muffled tone, but the others picked up on nothing and shrugged. Then looked away, because the sight was much to take in after a few seconds; it could blind you if you stared too long. Juurokugou was smiling gently at the cat perched on his knee, expression not changing as another cat jump up, purring, onto his shoulder.

Trunks rubbed at his eyes, gloves still pristine even after the beating he'd given Cell. Bulma's technology was very hit or miss. "I just don't understand why they have to be _here_."

"Where else should they go?"

He nearly responded with something along the lines of 'Kame House,' until he noticed the way she was drawing circles on the back of his neck and whispering something in his ear that made him go red. Poor, poor Krillin. Imagine having an android hanging off you, refusing to leave you alone for two minutes. The android was staring at him, utterly fascinated in his gibbering and way he cringed and blushed. The other android had an increasing pile of cats climbing atop him.

"I had no idea that button could go so wrong. Maybe blow her up or something. Not…drive her insane."

"You have to fix her Mo-Bulma. Right now. Before she hurts Krillin."

Bulma muttered something into her coffee about being how she might definitely hurt him in a terrible way, kill Krillin _exactly_ how he'd always wanted in his most feverish dreams. Trunks nearly was sick from his pseudo-mother's words, until he saw how Juuhachigou was now stroking his cheeks. Which scared the vomit right back down. This was definitely not how he'd expected the fight with the androids to go. One was dead, sure, but the other had been turned into some…well, Trunks didn't even want to put a title to it. It was a screwed up, weird and _screwed up_. Poor, poor Krillin.

And he'd tried so hard to do the right thing, and push the button to shut her down.

But she hadn't collapsed, or blown up, and had instead flocked to a horrified Krillin. Teasing him, batting eyelashes, to everyone's confusion. Such a shock had even stunned Cell, allowing Trunks to get the upper hand and destroy _that_ android. Krillin had refused to let Juuhachigou be harmed, since she was supposed 'harmless' and Juurokugou hadn't even _done _anything. Going on about how she was the victim, while she nearly jumped on his back and asked him how exactly he'd been doing and if he missed her any.

Considering his father was howling for blood behind them, Trunks had been willing to let it slide and travel with the other three to Capsule Corp. "We can be alone there, right?" Juuhachigou had asked Krillin while they helped a pale wounded Juurokugou up.

Bulma was trying for sanity against the rising onslaught of screaming nightmarish, Kafkaesque craziness. "At least you guys beat Cell, right? This is a victory, in a way? Two androids saved, arguably turned to the good side?"

"Is that really the 'good side,' Mom?" Trunks asked. They both stared at Juuhachigou straightening the shoulder of his gi, touching his arm a little. Bulma's mouth moved, as she struggled to find the right words. And any second, they would come forth and fix this entire huge mistake.

**200. Soft Drink**

So it turned out Krillin was secretly an addict. Not of any hard stuff, as amusing as that would have been. But of soda, as in the carbonated drink. She'd thought it had been harmless, a new absurdity to the short man to mock. Something to laugh over and wave the last can over his head and make him jump for it.

Until he_ shoved _her onto the table, grappling with her, desperate for his grape soda. Yanking and scratching at her hand around the cold can even as she shoved him back like a wild animal gone rabid. His face, normally so gentle, pressed into a snarl. A rabbit turned into a lion. One that had no problem pressing his hips against her's and getting right in her face and trying to hold down her wrists. She hadn't even wanted the damn thing; it was disgusting sweet and with a nauseating aftertaste. Beneath them, the table was wobbling alarmingly. She could already imagine the old lecher seeing them in this position.

Juuhachigou threw the soda across the room, and tried not to feel offended over how quickly he jumped off her to chase his precious can.


	9. 201 thru 225

**Author's Note: **

**Loved all the new reviews, adds to favorites, author watches, **

**And my-name-is-foxglove, I'll try to include more Goku/Chi-Chi next time. I can definitely promise you at least one Chi-Chi POV for the next batch, and another high school AU with Chi/Goku. **

**I'd also advice readers to go to my profile for a list of stories hosted offsite, if they wanted to read more from me.  
**

**For now, in this segment: **

**Belated Christmas fills, spots of Vegeta and Yamcha, and Krillin trying to serenade 18.**

* * *

i thought, there is no paved street worthy  
of your perfect scandanavian feet  
while my crooked chinese fingers groped  
the machinery of your throat

These Few Presidents, Why

* * *

201. "**I'm so full of love, it deeply sickens me."**

She was definitely getting stares from the other housemates, a group that included a pair of perverts, a talking turtle, and her uncomfortable twin brother. But what did any of them matter? Next to her, warm and relaxed and leaning into her, Krillin sat and gazed up at her.

If there had been a mirror there, she would no longer recognized her own reflection at this moment. And there was mirror resting on a desk by a bunch of pictures of people she had been programmed to possess knowledge on. These people she'd been created to kill and that she now disgusted by making out with their old friend in front of them.

Who was this person who no longer cared about public affection and would be pushed away, finally, by Krillin because they were holding up traffic or a line of disinterested people?

**202. After Ten Cups of Coffee, and You're Still Not Here**

After another hour passed, she had to accept the fact that her brother had probably left her here. Maybe on accident. Maybe he'd simply let time get away from him chasing squirrel or shooting at the police with his rifle while he pretended that he had a hostage.

But she had a sinking feeling that he was probably playing 'matchmaker,' in his lackadaisical, insane way. Like all she needed was to be left alone with Krillin, and they would immediately become a couple. As though it were that simple. She might have been stuck in some young, never-aging body of a madman's creation, but that didn't mean she was ruled by her hormones. Krillin was insane and desperate, but presumably knew to keep it in his pants.

The growing shadows in this living room did not symbolize any sickening concept like sexual tension. A concept that might be summed up as an increasing sensation of self-consciousness of her physical body being in the same room as his, the realization that clothes could be a shield, the curve of her skirt, the gleam of eyes turned downward, that you could nearly smell lust and it was the stench of the ocean, and roll-on deodorant over sweat that beaded along the hairline and trickled down your back. The realization that this table was wide enough for only one person to lay down on, but probably strong enough to hold up two.

"As soon as Juunanagou shows up, I'm gone."

A pair of dark eyes started at her across the bottle of non-dairy creamer. One well-made hand reached for coffee pot. "It's alright. I don't mind."

**203. An Awkward Moment**

Yamcha had, in a moment of forgetfulness and glee, called his old friend. After the phone went up and past the twentieth ring that made the fighter realize how late it must be over on Kame Island and Krillin's still monkish habits of early-to-be-early-to-rise. But he had to tell him the good news, how awesome life was lately for everyone…at least he'd called the short guy's private line rather than the general one that would have woken everyone in the house up.

Finally, someone picked up. They breathed into the received heavily, exhaustedly.

"Hey, man," Yamcha was nearly yelling into the phone. "Did you hear the good news? Chi-Chi's pregnant! Yeah, Goku left a present behind, hah. It's awesome. Already thinking of names. Wonder if it's a girl or a boy.

"And Piccolo's over there, helping. Man, you should have seen him with this doll that Chi-Chi bought to practice putting diapers on. Hilarious.

"…Dude?"

"_What the hell are you doing_, calling up in the middle of _the night_— A pause as they evaluated the exact time. "Midnight. Fine. It's still too goddamn late."

Yamcha's voice was a horrified croak. "…_Juuhachigou?"_

The click of the phone being set down was all the answer he needed.

**204. If I could change one thing about that day**

"Well. I did appreciate the kiss, don't get me wrong, Juu. But it might have been nice if you hadn't beaten the hell out of my friends."

**205. #1 Fan**

She understood that she was broken when she left the theater for the second time that day, the ninth time this week, with a headache swirling behind the sunglasses, and went to call her agent and demand that a part in the next film starring a certain actor be found. Bulma was rather shocked, not entirely believing her excuses.

**206. This Isn't My Bed**

Juuhachigou took in the vision of spiky black hair besides her, and felt her heart drop to her stomach and boil there from the acids.

Who did she know that had hair like that? Why had she had so many drinks at the bar? Who the hell's bed was she in? What had happened last night? Why could she remember so little?

Dangerous questions, but they had to be answered.

Black spiky hair.

It was a small man, curled away from her under the sheets and not making a sure and this brought both relief and fear. He couldn't be much larger than her across the chest, and was maybe a couple of inches shorter. Maybe? And it was a man, from the way he might mumble a disjointed word in a low voice she couldn't quite hear fully.

Black spiky hair on a short man.

"Oh please god no."

Finally, feeling her gorge rise, Juuhachigou pulled back the comforter and sheet. Her eyes were narrowed, and she looked at her bedmate through her eyelash, as though in protection for what she might find.

Black spiky hair on a short man with no nose.

"Oh, thank god."

Had anyone ever been so happy to be sharing a bed with Krillin? Could she have ever known she would be so happy being in bed with him?

Juuhachigou nearly hugged him. As terrible as sharing a bed with the small human was and what it might mean, it wasn't Vegeta.

She touched his back with a white delicate hand, nearly stroking it fondly. Later, she would rip him from his warm sleep, shaking him until he screamed for help, demanding to know in a low growl what had happened, what _did he do to her._ But now, she touched his warm back, almost cooing at him in relief and happiness and joy and something not unlike love.

At least it wasn't Vegeta.

**207.** "**I could never take another's hand; it's to you I'm condemned."**

They sighed, together, and lowered themselves into their chairs on either side of the table.

"You neither, huh?"

Krillin looked into his coffee for answers. Cheeks ballooning out before his hissed out air. "Nope. You know I came home alone, as you were waiting here before I was."

"Was there just no one—"

"Oh. There were a few girls. Sure."

"Are you sure that they were staring at you, in the—look, were you dancing?"

"No. _Stop it_. No, there were girls there that did not vomit upon seeing me, Juuhachigou. I—they just didn't compare to you, okay?"

"No, it's not _okay_."

"Didn't see any guy sneaking from your room." Like _he'd _used to.

"All the guys there," her voice was so sad. "They were just annoying, boring. Tall, sure. But not one of them said a single interesting word."

Of course, Krillin had to at least _try _to shoot himself in the foot. "You were at a club. How could you even talk?"

"I knew. They were wearing those stupid polka shell necklaces and had spray on tans. They were morons. With better cheekbones, but worse abs."

"Ah." Flattering. "You don't give anyone a chance. Not that I want you to. Despite the words that we exchanged last week. I'm sorry for that."

She ignored that. "This break thing just isn't working."

"The denial thing is the part that's failing us," he corrected.

Her eyes flickered, thinking on something. The crossroads they were at.

"Okay. We're not going to find anyone like that other. And since apparently we—_you know_—that's bad."

"So." Krillin leaned back in his chair and went back to inspecting his drink. "We're dating now?"

**208. Gravity is a cruel mistress indeed.**

All she could do was try not to scream curses at her brother and his very existence as the pressure on her back shoved her forward and into Krillin to tumble down the stairs.

**209. Woke Up New**

Juuhachigou came to consciousness with a start that made all the humans nearby scream. She looked little less frightened then them. The sight of she and him was even odder when she was conscious. Krillin holding her like a husband might carry his bride, loving and protective, and her deeply asleep and his utter opposite in looks.

"Juuhachigou? Are you okay?"

The android looked at him, so shocked that for a second Krillin wondered if she'd lost her memories somehow. "What? Krillin? What happened?" Then her eyes widened further, as she shoved him away hard enough to bring forth an 'ooof.'

"Um. Cell and Gohan are fighting." Tien tried to fill in while Yamcha clenched his jaw and Krillin rubbed his chest.

"What? Gohan?"

While Krillin was looking puppy-dog hopeful with adoration that filled in exactly why he hadn't used that controller, Yamcha nearly glared at her. "Yeah. He got super strong."

She did not look assured as she turned her head, and took in the huge battle taking place in front of her. All furrowed brows and biting her lip, like any normal human being would be before this. Just like the rest of them, when she ground shook, she was understandably alarmed.

The android was turning to the men, looking furious. Jaw set like the rest of them. "Is—is there anything we can do?"

Krillin did his best to hide his delight, his smugness over her reply from his friend, because right now in this life-or-death situation, that wouldn't be appreciated. Instead, he focused on being by her side as they tried to help Gohan save the day.

**210. Remember that time when your friends were on the news…?**

"Holy Dende."

"I've met him. Didn't think he was all that good."

"Look at the TV!"

"What—is that Vegeta?"

"Vegeta. Vegeta's on the news."

"Well, that's what happens when you try to blow up a major building full of people."

"Probably all a misunderstanding."

"Sure, Krillin. Sure."

"Vegeta's not that bad-Oh, no. The cops are there."

**211. We were just friends **

This was definitely not how she wanted to have Krillin discover that she really, really, homicidally hated and despised his girlfriend. To be caught, clearly illuminated in the glow of a porch light, with her brother who ran around still, still throwing toilet paper onto the girl's house and trees and shrubbery. Her in front of the girl's (who, despite what Bulma and Juunanagou claimed, was not her _nemesis_) car, the engine exposed since she had popped the hood, a flashlight in her teeth as she tried to remember what Juurokugou had said about…well, okay. This was just awful.

She was awful. Worse, really, than Krillin's girlfriend. At least that moron had never been going for someone's brake lines with the plan to sheer them down, just a little. A little. Enough to get her into a small car accident. Not like there were even a huge bunch of hills around here anyway.

But still. The flashlight's casing tasted like shame in her mouth.

Krillin was still staring at her, trying to comprehend the sight.

There had just been something about that girl that set her off. The obnoxious laugh and spoiled behavior and how she hogged Krillin's attention and time, who really needed to instead by studying and not running around with idiotic females who flirted with everyone in sight. She was the type of girl who pissed other women off not out of jealousy, but just for her hateful attitude and disrespectful remarks. This girl who supposedly had Krillin's heart in a bag somewhere in her over-priced purse and refused to believe first of all that Juuhachigou was not a natural blonde, and second that she and Krillin had once had some sort of 'relationship.' Glaring at the blonde whose hair did _not_ come from a bottle, pulling in Krillin close and giving him a big kiss to rub in her ownership.

Krillin…Krillin could just do so much better. Yet he refused to see it. And his friends were all cowards, throwing their hands up and saying that 'whatever made Krillin happy.' Like this Maron girl was the best he could do, and that she…as far as Juuhachigou could tell, didn't make him all that happy. Sure, he smiled and giggled over the kissing, blushed over the flirting, took her out way too much to expensive restaurants and to the mall for more clothes with an eager smile, but none of that meant he was _happy_. Only her brother had agreed with her sentiment.

Oh god, her _twin brother _had agreed with her. That right there should have been a warning sign telling her that this was a huge disaster.

How he'd nodded, blowing out a puff of smoke that would have normally made her sneer and instead eagerly had her trying to get a second-hand high from. He'd been all self-righteous. "How dare he dump you for that stupid blue-haired girl! Not even the _smart _blue-haired girl. The dumb one."

"We weren't going out! At any time!"

"That guy's a real douche. So, are we going to key his car?"

"No. We're going to key _her_ car."

"Right on. Now, where are the van keys?"

"On the table. By your foot, Juunanagou! I think I'll drive, this time."

"Okay, sure. Now, let's go stop off at the store for supplies. Going to need lots and lots of toilet paper to TP the place. And a garbage can. And garbage. And water. Oh, water balloons. And paint."

In the harsh yellow light, she saw herself in her cleverly dark but not black clothes that intruders wore, the toilet paper hanging like streamers, her brother running around like a sugar-stuffed five year old, whooping in delight over another good throw, with a nail file and an electric wire in her hand.

She slammed down the hood. "Hi, there, Krillin." Her toneless voice surprised even herself.

"What, what are you doing here?"

"Trying to see you. I guess." Juuhachigou inspected the nail file. "I don't really know."

"Are you, uh, trying to sabotage Maron's car?"

"Yes. I think that's a pretty apt description of what I'm doing."

"…why?"

He was wearing that stupid yellow sweater. For a second, she positively despised him. As much as his air-headed girlfriend. They deserved each other. That bastard. Like her brother said. How dare he dump—no, no. They had never been going out. It was her brother, after all, and he was an idiot who always jumped to stupid conclusions. He had the right to date anyone he wanted and she couldn't hate him for exercising that fact. And if she was threatened, it was because she was losing, losing _time_, with a good friend. This is what couples did, enclosed themselves inside a warm womb of each other—remember, you didn't see Chi-Chi and Goku for four months.

Even if it was a late hour and that meant that Krillin might be staying the night and-

Oh god

She pounded on the hood.

"Hey. Hey. Asshole." And now her brother was coming over. Carrying a heavy-looking water balloon. "This is what you get for dumping my sister! You don't get to do that! So what if she's controlling and manipulative and a real bummer to be around sometimes. _You_ don't get to hurt her!"

"Juun—"

She was forced to watch the wobbling balloon go flying squishily through the air to hit Krillin and drive him back against the door. He looked like he'd been shot. Especially since the paint had been a bright painful red.

He blinked at them both.

Her brother was sniffing, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Especially for the dumb blue-haired one. Now, let's get out of here, Juuhachigou."

**212. A short introduction**

"Um. My name's Krillin.

"Nice room. Very…The receptionist said for me to come here. To this room. This is the right room, right?

"Here's my resume. Um. Is this the right time?

"And is this the job for—"

"Sit down Krillin."

**213. Snow**

She'd never thought he'd look even alright in red. Normally he wore blue or white or hideous purple or the infamous orange gi.

But now, clad in a red suit line in white fur, she noticed the color made him look not so pale.

She stared at him for a long time.

Despite what some of the others thought (which was actually rather hypocritical of them since Vegeta had thought a dradel was one of Bulma's tools the first time he'd seen one), she was aware of some of earth's holidays. They were always bizarre and full of nonsense, and obviously aimed for children.

His words were slightly muffled by the ridiculous beard. "I'm supposed to be Santa, Juuhachi."

"I know." They looked at each other for a moment longer. "Why?"

"Well, Trunks and Goten should have a Santa, and this year Bulma's dad was getting hip surgery done, so I decided to don the suit."

"You're far too short and thin to be Santa Clause."

"But I have a twinkle in my eye."

She wanted to grab a handful of his beard, pull it back until the elastic was taut, and release it. She could hear his cry of pain already, and wondered if she herself had a twinkle in her eye of delight.

Krillin smiled in return, and hefted the back a little higher on his shoulder.

"Do you want to help give out the presents? Come on, you can be my helper." His grin turned teasing. "An elf."

So far, it hadn't been too bad. Sure, a lot of them had gotten hammered on eggnog, and there was mistletoe everywhere and always much too close to the old pervert. But no one had challenged her to a fight, or openly insulted her. Plus she had an excuse to buy that nice red and black plaid skirt that went well with a pair of black tights and her new white blouse.

The short man, who obviously would have made a better elf than her, scrutinized her face. "You do look a little like an elf."

"_You're_ the short one."

"I could fit the Kebler elf bill. But you look like those elves from the fantasy novels and movies."

She was often up all night, and with little else to do but watch late night television. Often, they showed terrible movies that were only marginally better than the infomercials on the other channels. So she was well aware of what he was talking about. "With the tin swords and perfectly groomed hair despite running around in the forest all day?" She was okay with the nice skin and hair; she could accept that. "I don't have pointy ears."

Simultaneously, they said to each other, "Piccolo should be the elf."

She ended up helping handout the presents. Which, despite Krillin's fancy costume, was a letdown to witness. Infants were not able to open wrapping, something which the adults in the room seemed to have forgotten. But they were all still smiling, helping and egging on the babies to open their presents. She and Krillin passed out the rest of the gifts, and Juuhachigou did her best to ignore the other's little smirks and nudges to each other over 'Santa's Little Helper'.

Revenge was brought when Yamcha dropped his gift to Bulma, and there was a tinkle of broken glass and the scientist's cursing.

Stories filled the homey setting and drove the comfortable feeling were all feeling. "Oh, and remember when Vegeta set fire to Capsule Corp, and Piccolo had to drive Goku to the hospital?"

"And Goku was wearing the horse outfit? And Vegeta was dressed as a cowboy? And there were comments made since their wives didn't come with them. "

"Man, that was a weird Christmas."

After the last of the shiny wrapping was torn off, and a bit more of the wine was drunk, and more stories of previous Christmases told, people began drifting out of the room. The kids took another yank at Krillin's beard, giggling,

Finally, Vegeta, still grumbling about his gift of pajamas with little puppies on them, got up to leave. As did Bulma, with a wink in Krillin's direction and a warning to 'have a good night you two, just make sure to keep it down so the kids can sleep,' leaving Juuhachigou and Krillin alone.

Juuhachigou also finally stopped glaring at the direction the blue-haired woman had gone. He gave her a small, embarrassed smile.

"Just ignore her."

"I know; she's insane."

"Right."

"Look at who she married."

"So…I bought you something."

"You shouldn't have." Her voice was devoid of playfulness.

He pulled out a jewelry box from his pocket. "Oh, it's nothing too big. In fact, you might not even like it. I ran completely out of ideas."

"Really?"

"There was zip in my head. I just wandered around the mall with a blank expression, blinking slowly at everything."

"And you settled on jewelry?"

"Girls like that, right?"

"Depends." She could see hearts on the jewelry without even opening it. Lots of them. Tacky. Desperate. "What did you get me exactly?"

"Just open it."

"Hmm, should I?"

"Please? That could be your gift to me."

"I didn't know I was expected to get you anything."

"I don't mean that—Look, I bought you something I thought you might like. A little. I don't know."

"Okay. Stop pouting. You look more pathetic than normal that way. At least smile a little bit. You look better happy.

"Okay. Not that big a smile.

"Stop grinning."

"Can't."

"Let's see. A bracelet? An anklet. Gold. Oh. With the numeral '18' on it." She flicked the number.

He nearly choked on his breath. "Uh-huh. Is that bad? Like, I don't know, buying you something with a red ribbon on it?"

"No, it's okay. Probably hard to explain to someone, but who cares?"

"Uh, just someone bought it for you on your eighteenth birthday?"

"I suppose. Why an anklet?"

"Well, um, you..." He was, strangely, sweating heavily. "I just wanted something different."

"Is that it?"

"Or um. I guess I thought it would look nice. On your leg. Because you have nice legs. Not that I really look at them. But I notice these things."

"I think you've had too much eggnog."

Krillin was pale and haunted by the idiocy of the things he was saying. Together, they decided to ignore that he'd only had little to drink. "Yeah. Maybe."

"Well. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She patted one cheek, awkwardly, taking in how he lit up from the contact. "See. Much easier on the eyes with a smile."

"When it comes to you, everything makes me smile."

"I didn't get you any sort of present."

"My present was making you happy."

"That's kind of sad."

"Aww. It's okay. I didn't expect anything. It's not like I handed you a list."

"I suppose I could buy_ you_ an anklet with a chestnut on it. Or a turtle."

"That...well, I'd wear it so long as you wear yours."

"Say, Santa?"

"Err. What?"

"How come you're not attempting some disgusting flirting? Asking me 'have you been naughty or nice this year?'"

"I know the answer. I have that list and all; and I checked it several times."

"Where's my name?"

He shifted on the couch. "Oh, not sure. You do seem to mock that nice fighter you live with a whole lot..."

"So, good side, then? What, should I be grateful to him for letting me stay under his roof? The roof that isn't even his? The one he _begged_ me to say under?"

"Bad. Definitely a bad girl."

"And where's _he _on the list?"

"Top of the good list."

"For what?"

"Heh, well, I'll have you know that he goes around saving people."

"When?"

"Even saved this one mean girl. Really mean. Who beat up his friend and gets into screaming matches, daily, with his dear old now-partially deaf Master."

"And what does he expect from this 'mean' girl?"

"Nothing. That's what makes him so awesome. He's good for the sake of being good."

"Not because he likes this girl? Not as an attempt to sleep with this woman?"

"Nope! Definitely not that. I think, from what I've heard from the elves, that he doesn't think about her in that way. Especially in _that _way."

"Sexually? You're saying he doesn't think about her _sexually_? Does he not find her attractive?"

"Santa is not feeling comfortable with this line of questioning."

"Does he?"

"Well, um, finding someone attractive doesn't mean sleeping, or attempting to sleep with them. You can admire someone's good-looks without imagining them in um, bed. With you. Purely chaste. Just being nice to someone doesn't mean you feel for them sexually."

"Mrs. Clause is a lucky woman."

"Er. Yes, she is. So's your roommate."

"The pig?"

"The handsome young man with the big, delightful smile."

Juuhachigou tucked hair out of her hairs. "Mm. Don't live with anyone like that."

"You sure?"

"Positive. If I did, I would know it."

"As in, you would like this handsome smiling man?"

"Sexually?"

"Um. Yes?"

"Depends. Is he a brunette?"

"Uh." Krillin was licking his lips, looking so faint she wanted to put a pillow under his head. "Yes?"

"Eh. I prefer red-heads."

"Oh. Oh."

"Maybe blondes? Dark hair reminds me of my horrible little twin brother."

"Oh. Sorry."

"You look so disappointed, Santa? Why ever so? You weren't having dishonorable thoughts that involved cheating on your wife?"

"No. I just thought that you might be interested in someone I know."

"Is he tall?"

"...no."

"An elf?"

"Let me get this down, you like tall red-heads?"

"Compared to short brunettes, yes. What? What's that look?"

"One of my helpers told me you use to travel with someone who fit that description."

"...what? Oh, screw you."

"Don't tell Santa to 'screw you.' That's going to get you coal in your stocking."

"Or some short guy in my bed, huh?"

He was still. "...I. I don't know what you're referring to. But you have something against short people. An undue prejudice."

"One that I should overcome by sleeping with a short brunette, huh?"

"Santa never said that."

"I think Santa needs to say what he's going to say, or get back on his sled, take his reindeer and shove off."

"Santa just worries about you. And these tall red-heads. They have a reputation for being mean, don't they? And freckles. Do you really like freckles?"

"Let me get this straight. You, Santa, are telling me to date some short guy with a big, hideous smile. This nice guy who looks out (and attempts to sleep with) girls with attitudes and a reasonable hatred towards old perverted hermits?"

"Not date. I just...nevermind. I take it back. Santa takes it back. No coal for you."

"Well, I don't know Santa. You're not talking this guy up. Why should I even think about him that way?"

"He's very nice."

"I thought he was doing kind things out of the pureness of his heart. Not as a selling point to get woman?"

"His heart isn't all that pure. It wavers. It's not made of the sternest stuff. Sometimes, he is weak. Very weak."

"Around woman in particular?"

He sighed. "Around mean beautiful woman in particular, yes. With a strange new interest in blondes."

"Ah."

"You're blushing."

"Shut up, Santa." Juuhachigou leaned in closer. "And this nice, weak guy with feelings for mean woman is datable why?"

"Um. You know. Not really sure too much on that myself."

"Hmmmm. Let's talk this out, Santa. Well, I guess he does have a nice smile, right?"

"Supposedly."

"And is he in good shape?"

"Yeah, sure. Guess so."

"And he cares an awful, awful amount for the mean girl?"

"Definitely so."

"Good taste in jewelry?"

"Arguable."

"Loyal to the point of stupidity?"

"Without question."

"Big dark eyes? Because I will admit to having a weakness for those."

"Eh. I guess you might say so. No nose though."

"Well, who needs those anyway? Cute laugh?"

"Not really."

"Good singer?"

"Awful."

"Well, I have to think this over, Santa."

"Take all the time you need." Krillin wasn't making any eye contact.

"I suppose you could give me his number. For a date. So long as he doesn't have actually pointy ears."

"Ah. Well. I guess he'll be glad to hear that."

"I guess I should thank you for telling me about him."

"Um."

"Any creepy Santa related come-ons?"

"Wanna sit in my lap?"

"There it is. You've been holding that one in, I can tell. Thankfully, nothing involving candy canes or mistletoe. So, how about you help me put this anklet on?"

"Sure. No problem. Fits like a glove. Now. About that mistletoe..."

"At least take off the beard first, Krillin."

**214. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.**

**-Friedrich Nietzsche**

Sometimes, especially after a day around Krillin and his friends, she could almost believe she might one day feel regret over Gero and his death. Perhaps he could have been like Piccolo, and turned over a new leaf? Or even Vegeta, reluctantly good. Imagine if he'd been a different man.

But then she remembered the squeal of a drill, that sting of a needle that hurt because you knew what it meant, how light could be scarier than darkness. How they had flickered, those lights, or maybe her eyes and vision had.

He couldn't be dead enough.

**214. I only made that mistake once**

She tore the remote from his hands, ignoring his squeal. "This is what I should have done."

"Owww. Jeez. I was_ going_ to change the channel."

**215. Fire**

Although they'd put popcorn on the stove, and were definitely not the type to just forget about having something going in the kitchen, they got distracted on the couch. So they only noticed the fire by the time it was spreading to the living room and the smoke was filling the room.

Was it wrong that her first thought was simply to run away? Nor could it be great that her follow up thought was, _goddamnit, they'll know what we were doing, we'll be caught, found out, goddamnit._

She blamed her brother for that, ultimately. While running out of the room, with Krillin, but not stopping at the ocean tide to help gather water.

**216. Flexible**

Juuhachigou had been staring at him for the past fifteen minutes, without blinking. Of course, he couldn't know that she wasn't actually blinking since he had to only give her short glances without her thinking that he was staring at her. But still, in the times that he'd looked over, she hadn't blinked.

Which only made it harder to stretch in front of her.

**217. Just one kiss**

Roshi turned down the TV just in time to hear Juuhachigou scream, "You only care so much because I was willing to kiss you!"

"…so!"

"You're so goddamn pathetic. This is why—just one damn kiss. That's all it was. It was to mock you, not a sign of actual affection!"

The ancient martial artists glanced at Oolong, and together they rolled their eyes. Time for the daily yelling arguments that were a new addition to Kame House. Like the wall Krillin had installed in his room to separate it into two smaller room, only with more violence. But with the same amount of uncomfortableness and tension for everyone. 'Are they really sharing a room?' 'Yes, but I think they're not really sharing a bed. Supposedly.' 'Isn't that how Bulma and Vegeta got together?'

"I know that, I do. But it doesn't matter. I feel how I feel. The cause doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!"

"Okay, so what? I like you, you think I'm pathetic? Yelling doesn't help either of us with these facts."

"Just stop feeling that way! Or acting out on it. You can do that much, can't you!"

"Why can't you be nicer? More understanding of how I feel?"

"So, I should _humor_ you? Maybe make out with you a little, to make you feel better?"

"Sure—no, no. I take that back. That was an ill-timed joke. Let's both let it go."

"_Disgusting_."

"This is your fault. If you hadn't kissed me."

"It was meaningless. Utterly nothing of a gesture. Look, look, I can kiss me hand, doesn't make _my hand fall in love with me_!"

In the beginning, their little fights had been funny. To see them flirting in their own schoolyard way. The turtle hermit and Oolong had laughed when seeing her yank his hair and him shoving her off his side of the couch. That had been cute, in its own destructive way. But now they were drawing their knives out so often and throwing them with such aim that even Turtle would shove himself out to sea more, and the shape-shifting pig, as scared as he was of Juuhachigou, would hammer a fist against a wall and scream at them 'to just get it on, or to shut the hell up and left everyone else sleep.'

"Well, that hand is part of you. Can't really fall in love with yourself. Though you seem to try from all the time you spend in front of mirror."

"Shut up. At least I care how I look. Look at you; that terrible shirt. You could stop traffic in that shirt. Planes."

At least they weren't going over that damn broken remote controller, Krillin picking her up out of Cell's drool, or the time that Juuhachigou had walked in on him in the shower to everyone's chagrin and increasing pain, that time she'd ended up wearing his clothes as pajamas, the sleep-walking incidents, the goddamn dragonball wish Krillin had used for her, the comments her brother would make…

Oolong took out his earplugs, and Roshi turned up the TV when they began talking to each other.

"…regardless."

The android huffed. "So, what you're saying is, that I have a super power that makes people fall in love, from a kiss? This is your point."

"No, yes. A little. It depends."

"On what? How desperate they are?"

"Yes. Okay. I own up to that. Fine. I was desperate."

"Why are you using the past-tense?"

"I said fine. But I'm okay now. Really. Now that I know you better, I understand that we shouldn't be a couple. That the kiss was nothing."

She pushed her hair of her eyes, almost looking happy. "Finally. It really was just a kiss."

"I'm not longer the same naïve fool I was back then," Krillin assured her. She responded with a knowing smile.

"I'm not. If you kiss me now, I would feel nothing."

"Re-eeally?"

Half-deafened, the other two sitting across on the red couch had to watch her lean over and plant a long kiss on his cheek. The blonde head obscured all but half a flushed cheek. When she pulled away, Krillin was reaching up to grab one small wrist in his hand.

"Nothing?"

**218. I guess this is good night**

Juunanagou had to wretch open the window, cursing his own construction skill, as he heard his sister screaming her own obscenities. But what exactly what a moron octopus head weirdo bastard freak be doing on the front lawn?

He literally reached up to rub at his eyes, sure he was hallucinating the sight before him.

"You cannot be serious!" His sister howled.

Krillin was down there, brandishing a guitar. Already a small man, he seemed diminished by the instrument and from the blonde girl's screams that huddled his shoulders. He kept swallowing, like he was trying not to cry. "I thought you'd prefer it if I took more romantic approach. And musical.

"Especially since my friends aren't here to watch us.

"…you look cute in those pajamas!"

"Get away from my house, you psycho! How did you even find where I live? Why are you here in the middle of the night? Why did you think I'd prefer you with a guitar?"

"Um. Sorry? Did I wake you up?"

"You woke _me_ up. The two of you." That finally got the little monk's attention.

They looked at each other.

"Hi."

"Hey."

A second passed before Juunanagou asked, "When did you learn to play guitar?"

"Last month."

"Oh. What were you going to sing?"

"Um. 'They Long to Be Closer To You'?"

The dark-haired teenager scratched his chin. "That's nice. A classic. Though, Juuhachigou hates birds…"

"Oh." Krillin twisted the guitar strap, trying not to shuffle his feet. "I didn't know that."

"What is wrong with you two?" Juuhachigou hissed, mostly rhetorical. "I'm going to bed."

She gave them both a disgusted look, before slamming down the window hard enough to make the entire house shake and the glass to crack. They waited until her stomping away had ended.

"You know," Juunanagou told the pale-faced monk. "I was thinking of learning saxophone."

"Oh."

"So you wanna start a band?"

**220. I'll be A Monkey's Uncle**

"Since you're married to Krillin," Chi-Chi told her, over the babbling of the child. "I guess that means you're kind of the god-mother to Goten."

She nearly dropped the kid. "What?"

The Son widow shrugged, much too at ease over this bundle of horror and infant she'd tossed at Juuhachigou. "Bulma wants to be the godmother, but, well, since you and Krillin are together, and he's the godfather, then shouldn't you be the godmother?"

Maybe if she really did drop Goten, she could get out of that responsibility. For a moment, the cyborg saw treacherous roads and tires with no traction, blood clots, small puddles on slippery linoleum, grapes in grocery stores. While the baby with the ridiculous hairstyle grabbed at her face. This son of her arguable enemy. "I—that's really not…"

There were about a million reasons why she shouldn't have responsibility of this tiny squirming human.

She had to pull the blonde stands out of the tiny, pudgy, surprisingly strong fists. Look at the bright black eyes that gazed up, without fear. Too young to know any better. "Oh. Alright."

**221. And how long will you stare before I look away?**

Juuhachigou walked into his room, wearing a robe and a look of such calmness that behind his easel, Krillin had to smile. All that grace in the light of discomfort. She still had such mixed feelings about him that her being here, and being actually willing to model for him was touching. Just one comment about wanted to draw a picture of her, and she'd, if reluctantly, went along with it. Maybe she did actually like him, a little bit. If only as friends. He gave her an encouraging smile.

She took off the robe.

Krillin took one glance, and then turned back to him sheet of white paper. He looked very closely at his hands, and noted that they seemed real enough. The entire room looked realistic, especially the naked, increasingly angry woman on his bed.

_You know, it was that funny smelling fish from last night, _Krillin decided. Must have gone bad. _Now I'm sick and hallucinating, boy, I hope Juuhachigou doesn't find out about this. Like the last time I had Bulma's sushi and Master Roshi found me on the roof, trying to dance with the weathervane. _

"What's wrong?" Her voice was rising. "Are you okay?" The undercurrent of nervousness in her voice obviously asking, 'am I okay?'

_You're absolutely lovely, and the most perfect thing I've ever laid eyes on me. Never clean that comforter again._ "Just trying to…get things in order." _Why are you naked, Juuhachigou?_

When he gathered enough courage to glance at her, peeking through his eyelashes, the blonde woman was biting her lower lip, and shifting. A sight that took ten years off his life. It definitely appeared real. Insane, yes, but actually taking place in a place outside of his head. She looked nice on his bed, leaning back on her arms, gaze focused downward.

He looked at the supplies before him, and realized the pink was too dark. 'I didn't mean a nude picture, Juuhachigou.' Yet, to say such a thing might spook her and send her running out the door. Thank Kami and Dende and Piccolo that they were the only people in the house, and the door was closed.

"Okay. So. Just going to get started here."

"Should I be in a particular position…?"

Krillin rubbed an eye and part of his forehead, wanting nothing more than to jam a pencil into a socket. Then he was pulling at his lower lip, terrified of looking, unable not to. "Whatever you feel most comfortable with."

"Alright. Say, after this-?"

"Huh?" There was no after this. He'd died, and this was a heaven given to those who had helped literally save the world many times over.

Juuhachigou looked like an angel, only confirming Krillin's theory. "Can I try drawing a picture of you?"

**222. "It's what he would have wanted."**

"Do you ever feel uncomfortable being so close to me?"

"Huh? Well, your elbows are a little bony."

"I _meant_, don't you ever feel upset about being with someone who tried to kill your best friend?"

"No," Krillin shrugged. "Goku would have wanted me to forgive you. If he could, from beyond the grave, he would give us a blessing.

"In fact," he said, warming up to two of his favorite subject: his relationship with Juuhachigou, and his relationship with Goku. "He'd completely support us. Would love that I finally found a nice—well, _relatively_ nice girl.

"Probably give me advice on being in a relationship. Would want to go on double-dates with us."

Juuhachigou decided to cut him off before he grew too deep into his fantasy. That usually led to her having to spend a day with his friends, or having to keep his disgusting 'master' from trying to touch her, or watching her brother and Krillin get along disturbingly, upsettlingly well, or a an activity to do when they were relatively alone that might result in broken bedframe and/or something new and pleasant to do from now. "I'm so glad we have your dead best friend's approval."

**223. take one for the team**

Yamcha spent the evening, brooding, and going over elaborate scenarios. Occasionally, to make the scene ever more bizarre, Vegeta would nod and add in another detail. After an hour, both fighters wanted to gather pitchforks and torches. It fell to Krillin to try and calm the hysteria. "The androids aren't that bad!"

"They could go on a killing spree, and we wouldn't even be able to stop them on time. Since we can't even feel their ki!"

"Look. I can keep an eye on her."

"Yeah." Vegeta grunted. "We all know you want to keep more than that on her."

"H-hey, that's not fair. Really, it's not like that. I'm just being nice. She doesn't deserve to die. Hell, she hasn't hurt anyone.

"I'm sure of it. I bet Juuhachigou's sweet, deep down.

"We should try to find them, but to help them. Teach them how to be good people. How to be normal. What to do, to be normal."

At their snickers, Krillin felt a flush rising up his cheeks. Thankfully, Juuhachigou wasn't here to hear all their comments.

"Oh, shut up, the both of you dated Bulma!"

**224. I promise to be home before the children wake**

Krillin pulled her close, lost in the romance of the season. The Christmas cookies just slightly burnt, the smells of plastic and old pine tree and the attic that he could almost imagine. He imagined himself as some hero again, running out to save the innocent masses. Right after he gave his girl a goodbye kiss, desperate and sloppy with emotion.

Eventually, Juuhachigou shoved him away. "Just go get the damn doll Marron wants so much before she wakes up."

**225. "A mental eraser would come in handy right about now."**

Juunanagou fled into the night, screaming, wordlessly. The right thing to do was gather their clothes, leave the hatchback of the car, and find him. Even if he'd been a stranger, it would have been the polite thing to do. Let alone the twin brother of his almost-maybe girlfriend, who'd seen something no brother should have to witness of his sister.

And really, who would be crazy about their sibling dating Krillin? In general. Even if he wasn't one of the fighter they'd beaten into dirt. Not that they'd beaten him up, but still. The principle. Plus, he was friends with the guy they'd been programmed to kill.

Krillin swallowed and was grateful just to be alive for a few seconds.

Juuhachigou shifted to move more of the blanket over them. "Weirdo. He didn't even see anything."


	10. 226 thru 250

_**A/N: Enjoyed and read all the reviews. Hope you like this new chapter, especially the extra shorter one-shots and the Goku/Chi-Chi.  
**_

_**In this segment, AU, lots of Goku, happy Juuhachigou and human Juuhachigou, and timely valentine's story and an attempt to sum up the beginning of Krillin/Juuhachigou's relationship on 'Unspoken Restraining Order.' **_

_**Also, Future Trunks is the worst wingman. **  
_

* * *

_"__I know back in the day I never would have done this. I guess I only have Goku and Gohan to blame. Those two guys really changed me for keeps. And one day, I'll get them for that."_

Krillin, Dragonball Z Episode 191, 'Save The World.'

_ Don't do it but you do it_  
_ What you do to me_

_ So lonely so pretty_  
_ Such a lack of diplomacy you can't get out_  
_ Do-don't you know_  
_ Don't do it what you do it_  
_ You should do to me_

_ Far our so far out_  
_ Such a fall out of lonely_  
_ That you're lonely_

_ Could you go and run into me_

Lasso, Phoenix

* * *

**226. Trying Out**

"I dunno. She's still kinda mean…"

"No, no. She's great. Really. Deep down."

"I—well, if you willing to vouch for her."

"So she can join the group? Thanks!"

Seated on the plain wooden chair as the fighters analyzed her from across the room, Juuhachigou finally spoke out. "You all realize I can hear you, right? And that maybe I don't want to join your idiotic squad of vigilantes?"

**227. Tasteless**

But he was walking around, his face long and heavy with some pitiful sadness. Probably thinking about how much he missed her. The only thing bouncing around his empty round head. He was hopeless.

She couldn't just let him go on his merry-less way. Despite her vow earlier, a promise she'd shared with her still shell-shocked twin brother ('what do you mean Gohan's the strongest fighter, 'why the hell do you keep talking about that ugly monk?' 'what happened to Juurokugou?'), Juuhachigou couldn't keep herself hidden. Her first instinct, to throttle him, was held in check. Maybe she could slap and punch him a few times, but later. For now, there were some things she had to address.

"Why the hell are you dressed like that? You look ridiculous in a suit. All you need is a top hat and monocle to be Mister Peanut. Except yours is in black."

Krillin just stared at her. "I just got back from Goku's funeral service."

**228. To have a friend...**

"Aw, it's okay. I'm glad to be here for you."

"Are you?"

"That's what friends are for."

She snorted and turned to disregard his words, but felt stupidly relieved for talking to him.

**229. When I tame my sex drive**

Juunanagou finally dragged his twin sister away to Bulma's startled laughter, Yamcha's swallowed, Krillin's wide-eyed amazement. It wasn't so much seeing a terrifying android drunk that scared everyone, not even if she was the one to beat to Super Saiyan into the dirt.

Really, it was her smirking face aimed at their short little friend, saying mind-destroying things like, "I'd totally hit that."

**230. Magnets**

Juuhachigou had literally laughed in Bulma's determined, angry face over her latest invention. "I doubt it's that simple. The parts Gero used—"

The blue-haired woman held up the curved magnet, S and N painted in black along the grey iron metal. "This focuses only on the ones with the larger magnetic field."

"This is going to end up just like the blender," Krillin warned.

"This thing can't cause fires! And I swear if you don't let me inspect you-"

"Not even Krillin is this desperate," the blonde said, mouth twisted.

"Don't compare me to him. This is a quest for knowledge, not to get under your shirt."

"Can you guys just not see me, or do you just not care?" The ex-monk deadpanned.

Bulma ignored him, and twisted the knob hidden in the arch of the magnet. The rage went out of the dark blue eyes. "Huh. It's not…working."

"Told you," Juuhachigou smirked, and slid off the table.

"Fine." Bulma threw the thing at the ex-monk, ignoring his yell about his hair, _his precious hair_, and his face. Of course he caught it. "Forget it."

Then she was temporarily blinded by her own hair from the force of Juuhachigou flying through the air at Krillin. Into Krillin. And then into the nearby metal table that along with the heavy magnet, sandwiched. Their faces were nearly shoved together, and he was saying that he didn't have any idea what had happened, and oh god, he definitely hadn't meant for his hand to go there, sorry. So sorry. No matter how they squirmed and struggled, they couldn't entire break free. But then, those two probably weren't even truly trying to get away, regardless of Juuhachigou's hisses and screams for him _to get off_. Bulma mentally patted herself on the back.

Juuhachigou managed to twist an arm out from under Krillin's chest to point at the scientist. "This proves nothing. Your devices are still junk."

"My spine!"

**231. He drove a little sports car**

They all stared at each other through the glass, truly trying to understand what it was they were seeing. Eventually, Krillin waved and honked his horn, and her brother waved back.

Juuhachigou grabbed him before he could go over to the smaller man. "Just think this over."

"Hey, this is better than hitching rides from the back of pig trucks."

"Is it?"

"You're the one that said 'no more driving.'"

"But you're the one that wanted to hitchhike."

"Hasn't it been an adventure, so far?"

She paused. To say that being given hits off a giant, suspicious cigar from a speech therapist in a Porsche, getting offered places in a cult driving a school bus, truck drivers who enjoyed talking about the forced sterilization of red-heads, schoolteachers who kept trying to convince them to go back and take their education seriously, the dirty-nailed farmers who wouldn't say a word, salesmen with nervous glances and remarks like 'I bet you guys could use a few extra bucks' that made the cyborgs reach for their door handles, old woman who threatened to call the cops on them if they ever saw them hitchhiking again, and being picked up by the couples in RVs who were always, always swingers with suspiciously eager smiles who were quick to tell them to 'make themselves comfortable' was not an adventure would be a lie.

"But not a good one."

"So far." He gave a smirk. "C'mon. I don't want to walk. And really, it's just Krillin. What's the worse that happens?"

"What are you two doing here?" The fighter was aghast, and had a similar expression to the old ladies who hated seeing them on the side of the road.

Juunanagou threw his backpack into the front seat, claiming shotgun, as always. And as always, she was fine sitting in the backseat and avoiding wandering hands and eyes. "We're just kicking around."

"But, but you're hitchhiking! That's not safe!"

"And who exactly would hurt us?"

"Everyone! You see this stuff on the news all the time. People are always going missing!"

Her brother began messing with his hair while looking in the side mirror. "We already were/are missing."

"I...well. What?"

"Nevermind. Just keep driving."

"Say. Nice car."

"Much better than having to ride around in a van, anyway."

His eyes were bigger than usual, alarmed as he looked at her and Juunanagou. From the backseat, she couldn't make out his exact outfit, just the purple collar of his golf shirt. She shook her head, and finally shifted her own backpack to the seat next to her. At least he was probably wearing pants, and almost certainly wouldn't ask if they wanted to make fifty dollars.

Probably.

"Krillin?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is there porn under the car seats?"

"What, there is?" Her twin immediately began digging beneath his seat.

"Um. It's Master Roshi's. I swear. We share this car. He takes it into town to um, buy that stuff. I use it for groceries. They're in the trunk. I swear." Krillin seemed unable to fully look her in the eye.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

He glanced at Juunanagou, unhappily. "So, where are you guys going?"

"Dunno."

"You're really_ just wandering around_?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's not really safe."

"Look, no one is going to hurt is. Okay, now, if Piccolo and Vegeta picked us up, maybe. But no humans going to do anything but make some creepy overtures. And then we just jump and roll onto the shoulder. Totally safe."

"Except for dirtying our clothes."

"Except for that."

He looked even more horrified. "You two have to stop this. I'll even give you this car, so long as you don't hitchhike again. Jeez. Do people really_ try_ stuff?"

"Hmmm."

"Yes, they do. No, Juunanagou, we're not taking this car."

"Have you two tried settling down? I have room at my house. Okay. It's not _my_ house. But Master Roshi won't mind. There's a spare room you two can share."

The darker cyborg was messing with the radial dial. "Usually when our driver says stuff like that, they want to be in the room too. And with a video camera."

It seemed to only confirm his worst fears. "Oh. Oh god. Please don't get into cars with strangers."

"What, we don't say 'yes'."

"_You're_ pretty much a stranger."

"No, he isn't," her brother interjected. He spoke to her in the rear view window. "We've got movies of the guy. Fighting, swimming, hanging around the house watching cartoons. Singing, dancing. And even weirder stuff."

Krillin nearly drove off the road. "What? _What_?"

"We know all his weird secrets."

Juuhachigou tried not to smile. "That's true."

"I'm surprised though, that you don't need a pillow to see over the steering wheel. Good for you."

Krillin made a face, but otherwise let the comment go. "So, where exactly are you two even going."

"Pretty much as far as you're willing to take us."

**232. Unspoken Restraining Order**

**(A/N: Basically, Krillin should be glad the remote worked at **_**thirty**_** feet**)

'Remember Krillin,' Bulma's words were still ringing in his head, wiping away any thoughts they passed, bouncing from one ear to the other and leaving him only able to stand there and swallow over and over again until he throat was as dry as the dessert. Just gaping at the two figures in front of him. 'You have to get within _two feet_ of the android for the remote to work.'

He still had his own scream sounding in his head as well, following the scientist's words. 'Aaaaahhh.'

'You can't be serious Bulma!'

'Sorry, Krillin, but it was the best I could do. At least it's something, right? Right? Right?'

_Right, Bulma. I'll make this work. I swear. I'll save everyone!_ How easy, how simple, how clean to just press one little button and wipe out such an evil, powerful

_gorgeous?_

enemy that was so hellbent on

_surviving?_

killing and wrecking havoc on the planet. Yeah. Now shut up, Krillin, and go press the damn button.

_Oh, sure, that's easy for you to say…brain. But I have to get within __**two feet**__ of her. That insanely close. She'll be right there. Standing there. Staring at me. With those eeeeyyyess. You expect too much from me, brain. I can't do this. You know that. That's your job._

She's just an android. A strong one though. You have to sneak up close to her. While she's distracted, you jump in front of her and press the button. As fast as you can. C'mon. What was all that training for, if not this moment?

…_to jump Juuhachigou? Oh god. I have to be so close to her. Oh god._

Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. And don't think about your lack of nose at all.

_Damn you. Two feet. How much is that exactly? Really, really close? _

Yes.

_Damnit. I can't do this. I'm not that fast. _

In and out. Just a few second of being close to her. It'll be over before she knows it. It probably won't even hurt.

_Oh, oh dear god. Don't make me think things like that. In that vein. You're just here to hurt me, aren't you?_

No. I'll help get you out of this mess. Then you can bury me under a pile of bad TV and plots to get a girlfriend.

…_why can't we plot to make Juuhachigou my girlfriend? You know how I feel about her. About how I can't stop thinking about her. Two feet. _

Snap out of it! She's just a machine. You shut her down and save the universe. That's an order!

_You don't get to order me around! Two feet. __**Two feet.**_

Sneak up. Slowly. Carefully. As close as you can. Right there, behind that rock. Do it nownownow_nownow_

Oh god. She's right there. She looks so scared. Two feet. Two goddamn feet. Damnit, Bulma. I have to get so close to her. Close enough to look her in the eye. To take in everything. And she looked even nicer now, in those clothes.

You are shaking. Pull it together. Please. We have to shut her down.

I have to shut her down. Right, yes, the entire world on one hand, and Juuhachigou on the other, and the world, the universe, is-

Is…

Juuhachigou is not more important than the entire universe, don't be crazy! Just jump in front of her, and press the button.

Two feet.

In the end, it is only him, only him in his head without even Juuhachigou's light touch or the heavy pull of the Earth's fate or the loyalty of his friends, alone, but no longer lost. Two feet, two hundred feet, all seemed unimaginable, impenetrable. Only this to circle him. Separated from each other by all that they were, her inhumanity and his heroics, their pasts and histories. That only she had thoughtlessly broken through to mock him for their differences, and make him think that maybe, maybe they didn't have to be enemies. Then he is no longer so alone.

Krillin probably made it now closer than twenty feet before he stepped out before her to crush the remote.

**233. Paying My Way**

Juunanagou leaned against the chair, taking in the disheveled fighter just barely visible in the moonlit doorway with a knowing eye. "Tell you what, if you want to talk to my sister, it'll cost you ten bucks."

From there it escalated. Soon Krillin was agreeing to pay twenty dollars a minute just to talk to her over the phone, in the future. Juunanagou did not take personal checks, nor did he believe in tabs. To reduce his bill, the small monk had to sign an agreement that said he'd come in through the window.

When she came down the stairs, they were still haggling prices.

**234. News**

"Hey, uh, Goku?"

"Huh?" The larger man lifted his head from his arms, looking towards his best friend. Who handed him a chicken wing. A delicious chicken wing, that didn't explain why Krillin looked so nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"That guy. From the future. He told you about us, right?"

"Um. Yeah? About the androids, mostly."

"So, he didn't talk about any of us getting married? Having kids?"

Future Trunks' warning sounded in Goku's head. The tall brunette waved the remains of his snack in his face, trying to laugh the questions off. "Oh. Well, not really…"

"I knew it!" Krillin grinned. "Spill it, Goku."

He played with the greasy bone, trying to come up with something. "I really shouldn't…it might change stuff, the guy said…"

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. But still. Does that mean we're all going to meet someone before the androids come?"

"Maybe?" He did his utmost best not to look at Bulma. Who was currently screaming at a disturbed Vegeta, for eating all the chips and dip. Which was important, Goku understood, but not enough to threaten to 'literally disembowel' him to get 'them back.' Yamcha looked on, appalled, only able to shrug his shoulder at the prince's confused state.

"You have to tell me if I meet a girl." Krillin was pulling at his own fingers. "It's bad enough to know the androids are coming. It'd be nice to hear some good news about my romantic life."

Goku looked at the bone, playing with it and accidentally snapping it. They watched it crumble to pieces and make a mess on their shoes.

Krillin swallowed loudly, audible enough over the yells from Bulma and Vegeta, who continued to shriek. "That bad, dude?"

"Who even invited you here!" Bulma shrieked.

The Saiyan yelled right back. "You did!"

"Oh, I guess I just _brought this all on myself,_ huh?"

"…yes?" Vegeta hurled right back, maybe a little more confusedly.

"Aw, it's okay." Goku patted his friend on the shoulder, hating to see him look so sad. "So what if you don't have a girlfriend. Look at Bulma and Vegeta."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Nothing." The taller man held a finger to his mouth. "We never discussed this."

**235. Wing Man**

"Krillin, really, I'm not sure about this."

"Dude." The fighter raised his hands, trying to look wise, maybe. "It's cool."

"…this uh, I don't know."

"I need a wingman. You said you'd come with me. What's wrong?"

"It's so loud. And everyone's drunk."

"That's what it's like at Capsule Corp on the holidays. You should get used to this." Sitting on a stool, in slacks and a bright green button-up shirt, Krillin make Trunks feel underdressed. And ungainly when he tried to follow his example by hopping up on his seat. There were rarely so many people in one building he was occupying, outside of crowded underground safehouses.

"Maybe." Trunks leaned forward to rest against the bar with Krillin by his side, who looked up at him patiently. Respectfully. That meant a lot after spending the last week with his mother, who had 'boundary problems,' a Grandmother that was even worse, and Vegeta. Who was in some hollow-eyed state of mind since he'd given up fighting and instead dedicated his life to bothering Bulma and insulting Trunks' jackets and hairstyle. Oh, and The Baby That Would Not Stop Crying.

So, when Krillin had offered him a night on the town, he'd gladly accepted. He'd done his best to ignore the talk about meeting women and drinking, somehow. To just talk to someone understanding who wouldn't ask him how 'saggy' she'd gotten in the future, how stupid his shoes were, or screech in his ear until vomiting over his shirt.

Now he was here, out of house admittedly, but in a club of all things with the music loud enough to deafen him and drinks with condensation dampening his hands.

"So." Beating his hands against the heavy stained wood to some beat that only he could hear, Krillin began rocking back in forth on the barstool. "Wanna order something? What'll you have?"

"Oh, whatever you're having. I guess."

Never having had alcohol before, he awkwardly handled the drink the bartender passed over. Tried not to feel foolish, look as nonchalant as Krillin who seemingly was at ease in his body, and not stab himself with the little umbrella. Here he was, in the past he'd helped create and keep from being destroyed. Getting drunk with a friend that in his time had been murdered over ten years ago.

Krillin grinned at him. "Ease up a little. You're going to freak girls out. Oh, unless you're going for a _brooding_ thing. Yeah, that works for you."

"Huh?"

The bad fighter craned his head around, looking for something. "Do you see any cute women?"

"Uuh." Trunks joined him in looking around. Still better to help his fellow warrior look for a girlfriend than his Father search for the TV remote.

They all did a double-take together.

She was wearing normal clothes that lacked the infamous Red Ribbon insignia, in a mockery of humanity. Blonde hair the same in both timelines. "Can't I even get drunk without you bothering me?"

"What are_ you_ doing here?" The short fighter sounded both terrified, and giddily excited.

The female cyborg just looked angry and miserable. Despite this being a single's bar where people made eye contact that worked like magnets, she was alone. Even those that didn't know what she was exactly could sense something was off about her. Unfortunately, there were plenty of people at the bar, people in-between the fighters and the humanoid machine. She might use them as shields.

Also unfortunate: Trunks seemed to be the only one to realize that.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Krillin yelled around the other patrons at the bar.

"No!" Her unnaturally pale blue eyes were wide with something close to fear.

"Please? Look, just as a polite courtesy. You're supposed to pay for girls' drinks."

"Knock it off. Did you follow me?"

"Of course not." Possibly playing, Krillin looked offended, then his face morphed into a big grin. "This is just a _great _coincidence."

"Ugh."

"Are you here with someone?"

Trunks was reminded of fighting Cell on that tiny island, and how the two of them had been so immersed in their discussion to even notice the scary monster floating overhead. "Hey, hey, I'll be your best—wing man. Let's just move on. Away from the scary android."

Still, still he seemed unable to look away from Juuhachigou. Almost muttering, almost wistfully, "She's not that frightening."

Juuhachigou was raising her hand, as though trying to cover her face. As though _embarrassed to be seen with them_. "Just leave me alone."

"Just one drink. Say, do you wanna dance? No?

"We can just drink then. A lot. What are you having?

"How's your twin brother?

She was trying to ignore them, now.

"Don't act like we don't exist," Trunks nearly screamed at her direction, making her jump on her barstool. Shoulders pulling inward, as though she were a normal human girl being yelled at.

"_Who're you_?"

He slammed an open hand onto the bar, chest welling with righteous indignity. His hated of Cell had been strong, but nothing could quite compare to the endless rage he felt towards the mechanical terrors that had so reigned his life and taken so much away. Alternative timeline or not. "I'm _his wingman_! And I won't let you insult him. You'd be lucky to have him date you. You're not even human! And he's nice!"

"Trunks, are you drunk? And, dude, the whole point of being a wingman is to help me _not_ scare women away."

**236. So I'm having a health issue that causes me not to be able to hear right now... **

Krillin damned Bulma and Trunks and Vegeta, the whole Briefs family, a thousand slow fiery deaths.

All he could do was nod and hope she just ranted and didn't ask—

But then she was facing him, getting right close to his face, and obviously demanding to know something.

All he could do was nod. Even as she came closer, and closer and closer—and he could see his reflection in her pupils and the cold tip of her nose against his face, and the warm soft lisp against his own.

Apparently, the language of love was one that needed no words.

**237. ...and it tasted like death. **

The smells had been a clear indication that he shouldn't have let Juuhachigou cook. But she'd just had her head full of Chi-Chi's advice on a happy marriage and being a good wife. 'Try_ cooking_ for him! A man's heart is through his stomach!' And who better to ask than the only one of their friends that was actually legally married.

Thank god that wasn't true for Krillin. Or else he would have run screaming through the door and filed for divorce on the odors alone.

Yet, still, in turn he will be a good supportive husband to clear the wrinkle between the two furrowed eyebrows. The good man that will reach for the fork, and managed to extract it from the hardened…glob on the plate. Then lean forward to kiss the patch of flour on one cheek. "Thanks for making dinner, honey."

He will be that man, just as soon as he managed to pull his fork off the plate.

**238. She Knows**

Krillin was only given the briefest warning, and it came from all people, Vegeta. The Saiyan had called to pass on some word about a possible construction job Bulma had found for him, reconstruction work to repair the damage Cell had done, and Krillin had agreed to easily enough. What else was there to do? Besides moping around the house, which everyone insisted wasn't healthy for him.

Ironically, that's all Vegeta was doing now. Spending his time at Capsule Corp as an awkward secretary and babysitter for Trunks. No one had ever seen the fighter so broken.

"Oh, and the woman wanted me to tell you that the android," his voice grated on the word, like it was a block of cheese. "Was here."

"What?"

"Yes, she took off after the woman told her that you were looking for you. And that you were in love with her."

The phone fell from Krillin's lifeless fingers.

From far away, he could hear a tinny, angry voice. "Human?

"Baldy?"

He fell to his knees, yelling at the phone. "Why_? Why would she do that_?"

"Who knows why she does anything? But I guess she was trying to make the tin can feel better. Gods only know why, and how she expected that to help."

There was a curt knock at the door. Krillin spasmed, bashing his head on the couch, then the floor. Looking up with a blank expression, arms outstretched and no thought in his head, no escape, entombed between fear and relief to finally be found out, and to have her here.

**239. …**

"You know. It would be nice to get a reaction, from you. At some point.

"Okay. Cool. You're just taking it in. Trying to comprehend it. That's cool. Fine.

"Mondo cool. Heh.

"Oh god.

"…I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for any of this."

He also hadn't meant for his proclamation of love to end with him tears, and her still utterly, utterly silent.

**240. If that van's a rockin'…**

"I am only going to ask this once," her voice was cool to the point of iciness as he rolled down the window. "What the hell are you doing here?

"Living in a van, like a homeless person…On our front lawn?"

He gaped at her, breathe a mist in the air. "Juuhachigou?"

"Have you seen yourself, lately? You really look like you should be asking for spare change."

"Well." Krillin rubbed a cheek that admittedly needed a shave. "I am technically without a house."

All her files that had been flicked through told her that Krillin lived with Master Roshi, the ancient turtle hermit, and Oolong, the shape-shifting pig, on Kame Island in southern hemisphere. "And now you're living in a van."

"Temporarily. Or not." The fighter shrugged, his patchy sad beard looking like a deep bruise on his cheeks and chin. "I'm used to living in small places."

"This is just sad. Even for you, shrimp."

"And I didn't know this was your house. I'm just parking here. Really. Just a bizarre coincidence, I swear. I'll move on."

"…what exactly do you have in there? Is that a velvet painting? Is that a blacklight?"

"Wanna see it?"

"Wanna see it?"

"Uh, alright. Just for a few minutes. And where are your pants? No, just nevermind, forget about it. Show me, umm, around a little."

**241. Monkey's Paw**

"Your wish is…granted."

"Yes. Alright!"

He nearly hugged Gohan and Yamcha and even the bemused Trunks in his joy, all in one giant hug. Everything felt at peace, no, better than content. Pure happiness. Human. Juuhachigou was human now.

Krillin gave in and hugged the recently healed heroic boy, who laughed and clapped his back. The dragon disappeared in a rush of light, and the dragonballs went flying across the Earth, dear grey. Sunlight seeped back into Earth. "This is awesome!"

"I'm glad you could help that girl you liked."

For a minute, they didn't think about Goku at all.

"I can't believe you were willing to go through so much to help those androids." Trunks was shaking his head, long hair sweeping before his eyes.

"Aw, c'mon. She's a good person. And the androids can't hurt anyone now."

"I guess…"

Yamcha and Tien were smiling in a distant, amused manner at their small friend. It was like he'd won the lottery. You had to shake their heads over it, and smile a little at his joy.

Krillin only grinned back.

Then he heard a shriek. Followed by a blue-white-yellow figure running at him. "What did you do!" A beautiful woman running at him, one with a ki level and everything. Trying to claw his eyes out until he harmlessly held her arms, and legs hitting him accurately, but without any power behind them. And stupidly, he was still smiling.

She was positively seething. Her eyes still that pale of frost over the ocean. Krillin held the struggling arms, trying to come to grips with the fact that they were _touching_, and that he was _stronger than her now._ "You little bastard!"

"Hey. Hey now." Yamcha was still coming to grips with her lack of strength, and trying not to inch away.

"Calm down, Juuhachigou."

"Where did you even come from?" Gohan looked around for a clue of some sort. "Were you hanging out and watching us?"

That pale perfect jaw was set and white teeth revealed as she looked at Krillin much like how Vegeta would stare down…well, mostly everyone. That voice that drove him up the wall a hiss. "_What did you do_?"

"Um. I asked the dragon." Krillin let go of her arms, and pointedly lamely up towards where the dragon had been. "And he made you and um, that other guy human."

Now there was the roach in the pudding that just killed him once he remembered. All that touching for naught. Oh, yeah, she already has a boyfriend. And a scary one too. A reasonably tall, handsome scary boyfriend who understood her on a level that Krillin never would, that no doubt loved and worshipped her every move, and who was able to connect to her like no one else could. He made her happy, not Krillin. Obviously, since she'd probably never seethed at Juunanagou the way she was now.

"You know. Your boyfriend?" He tried to keep his sickness out of his voice. Amazing how the thought of them together could make him so sick when he had been so used to Maron flirting with other guys. But, no, no, she deserved to be happy, to be adored and treated well, and if did all that then Krillin had no right whatsoever to intrude. Not that even if Juunanagou was a bastard to her did he have a right to say anything, though. And not that either of them cared a tiny, little bit about him or what he thought.

"My what?" Those eyes that made all the strength from his knees seep away were wide with confusion.

"That guy? The other guy? Juunanagou?" The name was poison in his mouth.

She stepped back before shoving herself closer. Dizzyingly closer. "What? Juunanagou's my twin brother."

Oh. Oh…oh god. That. That explained a few things. The resemblance he'd thought was kinda funny, in an odd way. Sister and brother. Not boyfriend and girlfriend. Twins, born from the same parents and grown up together and turned to androids together. Huh.

So. She was single.

It was definitely a good decision to not smile, and an even better one to polite let go of her hand. "Sorry about that."

"Jeez." Yamcha was laughing unsteadily. "Thought you were going to pull his head off."

"But she can't." Trunks smirked. "She doesn't have the power anymore."

Juuhachigou was starting to snarl, which made Krillin wave his hands around to distract her. Something that was more selfish than anything about sparing his friends—he wanted her to look at him more than anyone else. It was a unique torture to be beneath that stare, both paradise and hell. Oh, what did it even matter if she wasn't dating anyone? Why, why would she even like him? Short and ugly and just plain weird at times, and—so wrong of him, to think of her as some sort of girlfriend material when she was powerless and lost. Better for her not to look at him, to have her away from him at since, considering that he was hopelessly in love with her to a psychotic degree. Despairingly attracted. Depressed and over-the-heels-crazy about her enough to risk the entire world for her sake.

From the way the others reacted, and Juuhachigou herself, and even his own brain, it was Forbidden.

There was understanding in those eyes, as it dawned on her all the changes. He couldn't read exactly what was going on, but could see her swallowing, biting her lower lip. Looking at Krillin, as though he might have some answer. What now?

Five minutes before and hundreds of miles away: a shriek was loud enough to be heard by Master Roshi's, who sleepily sat up and rubbed at his eyes, as Juunanagou fell from the sky into the ocean.

* * *

Life was having a huge laugh at Krillin. No doubt any High Power(s) That Be were looking down and opening a bag of chips and a beer while watching the pitiful guy go through all this.

Everyone had gone their own way, back towards their homes. To collapse or tell the others what had happened before collapsing. Unbelievably, it was still only the afternoon. A warm day with the sun thick in the air, and back at the Son's the fish would be biting in the river that would never again have Goku run and swim through, laughing, the only sign of discomfort over the cold water was the droop in his damp hair-

"What's wrong?" Juuhachigou sounded utterly disinterested, and he nearly dropped her.

He'd nearly forgotten she was there, somehow. She didn't weight much, and he'd been so focused on poor Chi-Chi and Gohan and Goku that—her arms were crossed, and she had difficulty making eye contact. Obviously, this was hard for her to accept. His help. To go from being one of the strongest fighters to no longer knowing how to fly, that was rough.

Krillin couldn't help probing at her ki level, nearly giggling, fascinated that she had one now. That she was here, touching him, utterly alive and human. She was trying not to lean against him, but also not shoving him away to fall from his arms and into the blue-white sky.

"Master Roshi's island is around here."

"Hm."

"Just a little longer."

It was hard to act nonchalant with her so very, very close. Arms crossed but her elbow touching his chest, knees thrown over the top of his arms. Warm and skinny. And she was starting to sweat a little, the beads growing on her forehead and some running down her neck and disappearing into her white shirt.

"Really close."

Goku, right, Goku was dead. That was a shame. He had to try and shake his head without it being obvious. His best friend was dead. This was totally different from when he'd held her earlier, her unconscious and a little damp from Cell. She was shifting in his arms. Goku, totally dead and never returning, leaving a wife and child behind. Tucking her hair back behind her ears, biting that lip again in nervousness.

How disturbed she'd been over having to be carried by him, the smirks the others gave her, Krillin babbling on about how to go about taking her to find her brother, maybe she wanted to jump on his back or, or something. As Juuhachigou had just looked at him with nothing but disgust on her face.

"So, any idea where your twin brother is?"

"No."

"Ah." His entire views on the once-creepy man had done a one-eighty. He was a great guy, a little quirky, but good, really. A good brother. Who was older, if only by a few minutes? What had their parents been like to produce such different and similar looking kids? He needed to be friends with Juunanagou, right, that was the way to win Juuhachigou over.

Goku. Goku, dead, remember.

Sad. Very, very sad.

"So, when we get there, um, you can stay with us as long as you want. Really. I've been there for years. Aside from that brief period I wandered around the countryside. Oh and when I lived in this condo in the suburbs. And then there was that time when I was trying to do this hippy thing, and lived in this van…"

She looked disturbed. Really wishing she wasn't so close to him.

"But. Anyway."

"Right."

"You can stay with us. And train. With Master—no, never mind. I'll train you. And your brother, of course."

Juuhachigou did not look relieved. It was increasingly hard not to stare at the length of ankle and calf her jeans showed off. It ruined any attempts Krillin might have made about wanting to just be her friend, that this did not make him like her anymore, that he would not attempt anything as they shared a house. Instead, the bald fighter had to resist not putting his head against her shoulder as the events of the day caught up with him. As she scanned the area below.

They found Juunanagou lying on his Master's beach chair, wet, sunburned, and with a thousand-yard-stare adorning his face. He looked at the two, who gazed right back. Juuhachigou finally nearly _jumped_ from the warrior's arms onto the sand, and looked torn between her usual apathy and running up to embrace her twin brother. It would have been a heartwarming sight, Krillin was sure.

"So. You human now too?"

* * *

She had her first breakdown of her new life over a juice bottle. It refused to open, which could be a pain, especially on the fingers, but not exactly worth throwing the bottle as far as she could and only narrowly missing both the TV screen, and Krillin's head. Krillin, who'd so carefully offered to help her and her brother train, had given them a spare bedroom and extra clothes and promised them a trip to a clothes store, and everything they wanted from the fridge.

"Goddamn bottle!"

Oolong sounded horrified, sure that she was going to murder them all right now. "I thought you said she didn't have her powers!"

Krillin pulled his hands away from his face, reminding himself that no, she doesn't have her old strength, she doesn't, that really wouldn't have hurt that much. "_She doesn't_."

Juuhachigou ignored them. "Who the hell makes a bottle of juice that you can't open."

"Next time, Juuhachi." Krillin was trying so hard to be helpful, even as she glared him like she could still yank his head off. Or maybe she could. "I'll open the bottle for you."

This time, she didn't miss throwing the pot of thankfully lukewarm coffee at him.

But he didn't hold it against her. She was obviously frustrated, angry, furious, at being so helpless now. In comparison. Krillin rubbed his bruise, and was grateful that this sullen, shivering girl was fully human and no longer blessed with terrifying power. Though, for her sake, he wished that she might have kept whatever helped her handle the temperature better, because she was practically huddling in the borrowed jacket. A blue one that just about matched her eyes, and one he could recall wearing to seeing Future Trunks off, and the informal funeral service for Goku…

She didn't know about the irony, and between the chattering teeth and murderous glare, Krillin decided to forgo that little piece of knowledge.

At least her brother was friendly. Though, maybe it was just because of his handkerchief drawn up to partially hide his mouth and muffle his words. The fighter's pants were just as baggy on him as they were on Juuhachigou. The orange of his scarf clashes terribly with the orange flowers on the button up shirt he'd borrowed from Master Roshi.

If Future Trunks could see them right, he'd either have a heart attack, or die laughing.

"So. Are you going to teach us to fly or not?"

Juunanagou's voice was dangerously soft. "Are you giggling?"

"I'm sorry. It's just…you two look so ridiculous. We thought you guys were going to kill all of us." More guffaws choked him up.

Even more so than the slim hands wrapped around his throat. "Stop laughing at us."

"I'm sorry!"

"This is all your fault anyway." Juunanagou kicked him. Proving that they did retain some of the knowledge Gero had programmed in, but none of the actual strength.

He squirmed beneath the blonde who was baring her teeth. "I know. Hey, c'mon, that tickles Juuhachigou. Get off."

Though Krillin had loved having her so close. Now was not the time for such things. He cleared his throat, recalling lessons from Tien and Chaotzu, from his own Master Roshi. He clapped, "Okay, now, let's talk about ki. Just relax, and reach out with your senses."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh. Well, c'mere then." Krillin held out his hand, a ball of light glowing above his palm. "This is ki. Can you sense it at all?"

**242. And you're not happy but you're funny and I'm tripping over my joy**

It was probably the wrong thing, but when it came to Krillin, Juuhachigou rarely had a clear idea of what to do anyway. Still, from the looks she got, laughing during a man's funeral was probably the wrong thing. But something had just tickled her, until she had to bite the inside of her lip, especially at the sight of Vegeta drinking at the bar, the furious black glare from the pregnant widow, and Krillin's limp speech, oh, oh god, going on about rehabilitation, and in that suit that matched his hair color.

Impossible not to let the thought, _at least my man isn't drunk or dead, _even if she hated that miserable idea.

Too late, Juuhachigou cupped a hand to her mouth. Up there, where the coffin might have been in a real funeral, Krillin just stared her down. Until her shoulders were shaking, and dear god, it was too ridiculous, could she really be the only one that understood how foolish all this was, and of course there was the warm knowledge that the mourning man had certainly smile when she'd woken him up this morning in the bed they'd also shared last night. When she'd made him completely forget that a man named Goku had ever existed.

The smugness and hilarity to his speech about spending the days since Goku's death thinking about what a huge loss they'd also suffered, replaying him biting her earlobe and informing her how much he loved and worshiped her. It was too difficult not to laugh, over the fact that she was here, attending the funeral of the man she'd been programmed to kill, while her lover stood there and went on about sacrifices.

**243. I thought it had ended**

Looking at them now, Krillin realized that it was a good thing Gero hadn't put Juuhachigou in charge. Because Goku would have been dead within the hour of the androids being released. She was incredibly focused, unwilling to cut corners, and able to think well of her feet as she expertly cut the lights and power for the alarm.

Yet, still, for all her diligence, Krillin was disappointed in her. His vague plans of saving the day, of knocking guns out of gloved hands and easily dispersing the villians, and earning maybe the respect of a cute girl like when he'd helped that women and her little brother get away from Cell all slowly dissipated. Aside from not physically being able to beat them, he didn't have the heart to harm Juuhachigou.

But he'd expected more from her than something like this. He stood up, watching warily as the gun swiveled in his direction, only to lower as the blonde woman realized who he was. "I thought you two had stopped your crime spree."

She shoved a strand of errant hair from her widened eyes. "It was never a s_pree_. What would you even know about it?"

"I don't know." Juunanagou added as he easily hefted a bag literally filled with heavy gold bars. "After the third bank, I think it counts."

**244. I heard that you like the bad girls**

**Honey, is that true?**

There was no escaping the androids, no escaping her, Krillin was beginning to realize. All that denial, the lies made to Future Trunks about his interest in the androids, trying to pretend that when his eyes went unfocused and gazed out the window, dreamy smile spreading across his face at the dim knowledge of that shade of blue, _that no, Master, hey, yeah, Yamcha, I was paying attention, you know, was just thinking about how we're going to win this next fight._

But Trunks had bought it, handing over the blueprints and telling him to head to Bulma's. Leaving him to look at the white shape on the paper, thinking, thinking, _this might be it, we might be able to win with that._ Destroy the androids, then Cell wouldn't become complete. Simple, and taking out enemies. Maybe he could do that himself, actually help for once…

Then he'd seen someone in the corner of his eye, no ki,

Now all torn away at the sight of her, in new clothes, staring down at him. Every inch of her showing smug contempt for his startled form. Leaning against a rock taller than her, darker than her hair, arms crossed over a white t-shirt and black vest. Not the clothes he'd last seen her with.

"You know." That silky voice that squeezed his brain. "You've just been standing there, stupidly smiling at nothing for the past ten minutes?"

To kill her? Close the blue eyes that turned up in the corners when she smiled? "Juuhachigou?"

"Should I be flattered that you remembered my name?" White teeth flashed, and a hand raised to shove hair out of her eyes.

Stupidly, damningly, Krillin could feel himself heating up. Without reason. This was not flirting, whatever she was doing. Teasing. _Mocking_ him, right. Gero had probably told her about his weakness for cute girls, and if there was something Juuhachigou definitely seemed to be, it was both practical, with great fighting techniques to beat her enemies into the dirt, and a very cute girl.

Then she was moving closer to him, smile sliding away, serious. "Why are you embarrassed?"

All he could do was try not to choke on his tongue, wrestle with the_ butterflies_ swarming in his stomach. Feeling fear, but not the kind that one should experience around a hated enemy. How pathetic was he to worry about being rejected by a robot?

Spent the last three years training for her. Them. "Where are the others?"

A casual shrug. Still moving closer. "Around."

"Ah." The blueprints were practically crinkled under his sweaty palms. Be hard to explain the marks on them to Bulma, who would be all 'what exactly were you doing with this?-'

Or _to Juuhachigou,_ who was looking down at what was in his hands with interest. "What exactly do you have there?"

"Nothing!" He hid the papers behind his back, knowing immediately that it wouldn't work.

The blonde machine looked even prettier when she laughed. Crap. Way too pretty. And strong. He had a problem saying no to normal girls. Even women that were dating/married to his guy friends and had no interest in him.

Not that Juuhachigou did either, but, at least she had kissed him.

She cocked that pale head. "Let me see…what exactly are you hiding there?"

His entire body seemed to burn when she pressed herself against him, legs touching, hand sliding across his arm to snatch away the very important papers that might very well determine the fate of the entire world. Just given away, without a fight. Krillin could only look at his empty hands, feeling a welling of self-hatred rising up. _Really, she flutters her eyes at you, and you lose your mind? _

A perfect brow furrowed with thought, pale baby blue eyes narrowed as she analyzed what was before her. Those hands were going to tear him apart. _Should never have separated from Future Trunks._

"What is this? Did you get these from Gero's lab? Oh. That's why you're here. Mm, thought you were reliving our memories together." A short sigh. Eyes briefly shutting.

Could he really say this morning, when waking up, a part of him hadn't expected to die up North? Hadn't carried that weight around, the knowledge that in the future, in a different timeline, he'd been killed by a pair of androids. Maybe he had pictured the evil robots to look different, and not to feel this sort of weakness around them, but there had still been that shadow over his life. Krillin wished that things had been different, that he could have been stronger, faster, hadn't stayed here, daydreaming about Juuhachigou and about saving the world, that maybe he should have married Maron and settled down, that at least he'd died trying to help, that he'd had a good life despite not completing everything he'd wanted to do. Good friends, survived many things, had been brought back to life twice, seen things that hardly anyone else had ever laid eyes on.

He took a deep breathe, feeling muscles tense, wanted to at least give the android a fight before she murdered him. He could do that much.

She shrugged, and rolling them back. "I guess this might make things fairer."

"Huh." Hands falling slack. Carefully, Krillin reached out shakily for the blueprint. "Really? You…don't care?"

"Not really. I doubt you'd even be able to figure out how this all worked." Again, all playful, she tapped him on his Orin Temple scars with the rolled up paper.

"Of course, now you owe me shrimp."

"I do?"

Juuhachigou handed him the papers, finally. Then moved in real closer, so he could see every individual eyelash. "Sure. Weren't you talking earlier about us not being enemies?"

"Su-uure." He didn't even notice he was backing up until he nearly tripped. Thoughtfully, she reached out to grab his shoulders and steady him. And pull him closer by his shirt. His eyes narrowed, expected a swinging fist into something soft and unprepared that would draw blood and spit up to his wobbly mouth.

"I think it might be good to establish some trust then."

The first blow would stun him, and the next would bring real pain. "Okay?"

Any strength in Krillin's limbs dissipated at the mouth pressed against his, warm enough to spread heat throughout his own body. Another soft press to where his nose should have been, delicate, as though afraid of hurting him, and enough to draw a pathetic whimper from his throat that she awarded with another delightful peck to his lips, all suffocating, the loveliest thing in this world. Hips brushing against his, brought only closer when his hands were sliding over the back of her denim clad thighs.

Oh god. This was _Juuhachigou_.

Pulling away with a moist noise that should have disgusted both of them, Krillin stepped sideways since there was no way to further back up. And finally removed his hands from her legs.

They looked at each other for a reaction.

Finally, Juuhachigou broke the silence by saying, "I guess I'll see you later."

"Okay?"

Cupping his numb chin. Smirking at his stunned face. "Hopefully soon."

Then letting go and having his chin fall to his collarbone. Not ripping his jaw off and watching him bleed out in slow crimson jets around her feet. This girl-machine he'd kissed and groped, who'd thoughtlessly beaten men many times his strength and had teased his patience and sanity since the first peck on the cheek.

"See you later." Sauntering away, hips swinging, knowing damn well that his eyes were focusing on every step and how great she looked in those jeans. Leaving him with a gleam of bright white-gold hair…

To go kill Goku and possibly his other friends.

All Krillin could do was cup his face in his cold hands, feeling the temperature raising goosebumps as he calmed down. Damn. God. Damn. If only she hadn't been so cute. Or so evil. One of the two would have been great.

How was he going to look his friends in the eye after this?

**245. Permanent**

"Put some flames on it." Goku just about commanded.

Krillin was handed over the red pen by Goten, who had been drawing the eyes in. And who was really good at working on the scales with black and green. "So, flames around the dragon? Or below? Where's the yellow?"

"Here's orange?" Goten offered. His small face was contorted in concentration. He hadn't moved from sitting on his knees on the floorboards in the Son's living room. So intense was his artistic burst of inspiration.

"At least we covered that scar you got from Vegeta."

Chi-Chi came into the room, carrying bags, and relating something that had happened at the supermarket. Piccolo followed her, face his usual blank, hands full of groceries.

"Goku? What are you two doing?" She asked Krillin and Goten behind him.

"Is that the Eternal Dragon?" Piccolo asked to the room at large.

"Wash that off!"

"But, Mom," the ten-year-old's hands were stained in ink. "It's in permanent marker."

"It was a compromise," Goku explained. "Goten wanted to draw. And Krillin and I were talking about getting matching tattoos."

"Yeah." Krillin turned to show his own back. The dragon was just as ferocious as Goku's, albeit flameless. Now he wished he'd thought of that. It was a really good idea. Oh, and maybe add some dragonball to the bottom of it, yeah, that might be pretty cool.

"Me too, Mom." Goten revealed his own back. "Mine's not a dragon though, I got a turtle. That's what Dad and Uncle Krillin got when they were kids too; I have to work my way up to a dragon."

Her dark eyes took in the nearby empty cans scattered underfoot that in retrospect made them look like they had a serious drinking problem. "Are you two drunk?"

"We had a few beers," the shorter man dismissed. A few in effect, since their metabolism burned so quickly through the stuff that it took gallons to make a dent.

…on the other hand, Goku stood up, and nearly reeled over. He pointed to his chest. "Hey, Chi, I got your name in a heart!"

"Oh, that's sweet." Her face _did_ look less pissed. "No, Goku, you're still washing it off. And you too Goten. Krillin, you're not my responsibility, but Kami help you with Juuhachigou."

Krillin shrugged, imitating his best friend by pointing to the matching pink heart on his own chest. "It's cool; I got her name in a heart too."

"I can't leave you guys alone again. From now on, either Piccolo and I have to be here."

The green-skinned alien was annoyed. "Isn't it bad enough to have to watch out for Gohan and Goten without adding Goku? And I'm not looking after Krillin."

"Well, _someone_ has to."

"Hey!" Krillin yelled in response. "I do too have someone to look after me. I have a wife."

**246. A Certain Promise**

It was still not easy to talk to her. Even though she was no longer a murderous machine that wanted to kill everyone, and was married to his best friend and even had a kid with Krillin, she still had a nasty glare that reminded him of his own wife when he'd done something stupid. "Um…basically, I promised Old Kai that I'd get him a girl. To kiss him."

"So…?" Juuhachigou was staring at him, horrified and disgusted as Chi-Chi, Bulma, Videl, Lunch. "Are you asking me to kiss some disgusting old man?"

"Someone has to!"

"Get off my property!" she screamed, turning around in a flash of bright hair.

Goku nearly tugged at his own hair, frustrated from an afternoon away from fishing with his sons to travel around, trying to talk all the women he knew into doing this. Chi-Chi had been making a pot roast, for his stomach's sake. "…you're just like everyone else! How come no one will do me this favor? I saved the world, and no one can just kiss this old guy? It's just two seconds. He keeps talking to me, reminding me of this. I can't make him stop!"

"…you really think I'm like the rest of your human friends?"

"Yes! You're just like the rest of them."

Juuhachigou stared at him, blue eyes not so furious. "Just tell him you never signed anything, so he can't hold you to it. Or, better yet, start thinking thoughts that he wouldn't want to see. To scare him off."

His face perked up. "I can try that. Thanks! Tell Krillin I said hi. And the baby too!"

**247. Trick or Treat**

Krillin realized much too late who those rude teenagers who'd egged Capsule Corp had been exactly. For some reason, he'd thought he'd just been thinking way too much about Juuhachigou. That's why the masked teens' identity had gone unnoticed.

But when she hit him straight in the face with a well-aimed egg, yelling, "That's what you get for being a pathetic creep!" he knew that voice.

Of course, considering what she'd said, maybe running after her hadn't been the best decision. "Juuhachigou! Juuhachigou! Wait." And nearly tripping over his cape.

The two, twins and bless Dende for that, did a double-take, before running off. Occasionally lobbing eggs towards his head.

In the distance, back towards the yellow domed buildings, he could hear the monkey-suited Trunks and his fellow fake-superhero-dressed Yamcha cheering him on, Vegeta hungover from the pumpkin brandy loudly asking 'what the hell,' and Bulma stood in the doorway, yelling, "I thought you were going to help me pass out candy!"

**248. Totally blast something you dislike**

She was tugging the headphones off, expression full of rage and eyes nearly flashing red. Cheeks turning a pinkish hue. Krillin's grin only widened.

"You did not just see that."

Had he not been totally overblown with her little show, brain fried by the cuteness, he would have gone along with it. Circuitry, if you will, was demolished. _"Awwww_."

"Stop it."

She had even been using his own headphones. The ones that had gone around his sweaty head when his Master was getting especially obnoxious with his television programs, the one that Goku had worn during his stay here to be caught by Krillin, who'd whipped them away from him.

"Dude. Are you listening to the news?"

Clueless eyes blinking. "I like knowing what the weather will be on the weekend."

But none of that talk radio nonsense for Juuhachigou. She looked so cute, _precious_, that Krillin wanted to pinch her cheek as Mrs. Briefs did for toddler Trunks and little Goten, and then desperately pull her into his arms to kiss and hug close. Straighten the flaxen strands mussed from the headphones. Feeling her fluttering heart beating against his own, their skin brushing, the perfect petal soft lips touching his mouth—

"Krillin? What are you doing here?"

"How could I just keep walking by after seeing this?" He understood that too much of his affection and longing and admiration were leaking out after trying so hard to keep under wraps. Or at least not outright expressing his attraction and neediness; no one wanted that. She had no interest in fending off his interests, and he really didn't want her to for many reasons. Just two friends listening to music. Nothing weird about that.

Juuhachigou scooted away when he hopped besides her onto the bed. Eyes wide and taking in every movement.

"What are you listening to, anyway?"

**249. you'll be my valentine**

**what a perfect valentine**

Juuhachigou shoved him away, a sneer on her flushed face, back to her angry self, back to that woman who'd told him that she wanted nothing to do with him, that no, she wouldn't dance with him and didn't want to hear any pathetic limp compliments, back to the woman that rolled her eyes over this holidays, leaving him behind as she turned back to the woman that had stomped out, no longer the woman that had ran back inside to grab either side of his skull and yank him out of his chair for a loud painful kiss.

She left with a huff of disgust, again, ignoring the applause from his flabbergasted but impressed friends while Krillin found a new joy in the paper pink and red hearts taped and hanging from the walls.

**250. Kissing Booth**

As soon as Bulma brought up the idea for a kissing booth stand to raise money, his fingers crossed in mad joy, sick hope, and terror of who might agree to take part. He would have to pawn and sell everything in his room for as many tickets as he could buy, then stand early in line with a huge bag of those tickets for the chance to be once again close to…friend, crush, sometimes enemy, lab partner, and amazingly pretty girl who literally and figuratively knocked him out in gym while wearing her workout clothes, the cutest girl in school.

For better or worse, Juuhachigou immediately sneered and shook her head when Bulma turned her greedy blue gaze on her. She analyzed anyone in sight, squeezing muscles and pinching cheeks, "Yes, you're definitely going to earn some money tomorrow night, Yamcha."

"Knock it off."

"You're creeping everyone out, woman." Vegeta could barely look at her over his Trig book, out of whatever fear he would allow to show. She seized him up. Krillin had to admire the angry teenager not trying to hide behind his gym bag.

Bulma snorted, turning away. "You're lucky no one in their right mind would pay to kiss you, Vegeta."

Goku was pulled away from the blue-haired girl by Chi-Chi. She answered for him. "No way."

"Alright, never said I was going to have him run a booth." But her eyes still took in the width of his shoulders, speculating. "Anyway. If you're not going to even give it a shot, Juuhachi, what about Juunanagou?"

"What about him?"

Even her voice made his knees quiver. He had to fight the urge to rub his eyes. Lately, her presence exhausted him. It was becoming increasingly hard not to say anything about how he felt, again. Though, this time would probably be to her face, if he ever worked up the courage. Rather than having her overhear him tell the guys that he liked her and yes, that song he'd written that Vegeta had so mocked him for was about her. That she'd struck him down was a heavy weight he still carried throughout the day.

Or maybe he would just slip her a note in her locker. Maybe some of the poetry he'd been toying with, desperate, sick with longing, unable to find more words that rhymed with 'golden.' A mixtape.

Of course, Juuhachigou would know who gave her it. He wasn't the only guy in the school to have a crush on her, but his was the most pathetic, most puppydoggish, more conspicuous. She would accuse him, and he would crumble immediately. Then he would have to be rejected again, like after that mess where he'd asked lamely revealed his feelings only to be threatened and pushed away. Something that she'd never talked about again.

He escaped, weak knees and all, before Bulma managed to wrangle him in. Tien resorted to ducking her in a male locker room (though it was for naught when Launch came in and dragged him out), and Yamcha knew Bulma too well, and had already given in. The attempts at getting Chi-Chi pissed off enough at Goku to make them break up went ignored. Juuhachigou continued to refuse, in that stubborn way that made his hands sweat.

But when the day came, he found the goodness that the evening had promised had been a trap. He was only able to stuff himself with friend food and cotton candy along with Goku. And Chi-Chi, who kept trying to turn things romantic with her boyfriend only to be met with a confused stare. "Why can't Krillin come into the 'Tunnel of Love' with us?"

Though, he didn't even get a chance to try out the friend chocolate bars that had brought a determine, loving gleam to his friends eyes as they had stood in line, watching the fryers. And he hardly got to go on any rides, and play any carnival games in hopes of winning a stuffed animal or one of the flimsy ukuleles before Bulma was grabbing him and dragging him through the narrow dusty paths.

Goku waved goodbye to him, as his girlfriend smiled up at the tall boy with an almost evil smile. "See you later, Krillin." The black-haired girl was jumping on him hard enough to make then fall against a bouncy castle and make several of the children inside scream as they believed they were being attacked. Poor Goku's muffled yells didn't deter Chi-Chi in the least.

Bulma took him away from the possibly explosion to the wooden booths, when Tien stood there, blank-faced with his dignity barely intact, as Launch hoisted a gigantic burlap sack that spilled out tickets. Then warned the other women walking around behind her to back off. Yamcha was a champ, being all polite and gentlemanly, flirting gently, easy smiles. And a decent sized line.

Bulma was wearing one of those green-see-thru caps that he only saw bookies wear in the movies. There was a smear of ink of her face, and she literally smelled like coins. "Take off your shirt."

"What?"

"You gotta do something to get women over here. Or men. Don't care. Just do it." She started to wrestle him out of his clothes. "Damnit, I hope you haven't eaten too much crap."

"Stop it!"

After she'd wrenched the t-shirt away from him, Bulma kicked him towards the booth. "Launch is taking up Tien's profits. Since I'm sure she stole those, and was probably reported. Now I won't even get paid for that."

The previously warm air now gave him goosebumps. He'd had fantasies of kissing girls, lots of them, but not like this. Not in front of people. And…this was just humiliating. At least Tien got only one girl, and one he maybe, maybe liked. There was a good chance he wouldn't get that. No girls at all. At all.

_At all._

But then Bulma was running off into the carnival, ignoring his yells. He leaned against the rough wooden stand; one that she hadn't even ordered sanded or painted by her helper monkey Goku, who was spending the rest of the evening with Band-Aids on his bruised fingers. When the blue-haired girl came back, Krillin was digging a splinter from his elbow and she was dragging someone in tow.

"Women!" Vegeta's face was frightening in the yellow and orange lights strung overhead. "Unhand me."

"Goddamn." She whirled around. "Just accept your fate. And put down that hotdog, god, now your breath is going to taste like onions. How the hell do you put a hamburger patty on a hotdog? Is that chocolate?"

What happened that truly sealed his fate was the usual nonsense they both pulled when they were together. Everything seemed to pass in slow motion, especially since Launch pulled out her phone to record and then post the entire thing on the internet in the morning so everyone could watch the disaster at varying speeds.

The shortish man tried to run for it. Holding his indeed ridiculously full snack close to his body, like he was back on the football field and trying so hard to make a touchdown all by himself. For once though, Krillin couldn't blame his selfishness, but only shake his head, knowing what was going to happen. Tissues went flying and parts of the hotdog started to slide all over Vegeta's normally clean hands, and his cussing echoed like a foretelling curse.

Unlike in a typical sports game, it wasn't Goku to tackle him; it was Bulma who leapt low for his legs, trying to hamstring him, possibly, with her sharp plastic hat. She must have learned something from spending so much time with the school athletes-and Krillin had thought she'd mostly been there just to moon over the sweaty guys. Since, well, he did something similar when watching Juuhachigou play lacrosse or tennis, and completely destroy anyone faced on that field. It was easy to forgive her shocked face turning white with rage as she saw him on the bleachers, cheering her on. Able to continue admiring her aim and power. A new memory of her to play while he mooned later, (albeit a little more dazed and still bearing the imprint of the tennis ball on his face) about how incredible she was from the muddy field, until he was tackled and left to wonder why he'd chose football and soccer over other things, like…tennis and lacrosse.

On instinct, Vegeta turned his cheese-and salsa-smeared hand behind him, reaching for the face. Everyone watching grimaced and tried to close their own eyes in sympathy. Vegeta had always been a dirty player. Even in this. Bulma's scream was even louder than his curses. In retrospect, when he tripped over their economics teacher Mister Frieza's stuffed animal that was shaped like an old Pokemon cartoon character, it seemed like an art film and the entire thing was a comment on commercialism. He felt to his knees. The spicy condiments dripping from his food looked like blood, especially as he clutched the hotdog desperately to his stomach. Like he'd been gutshot. Then Bulma, still blind and appearing to have been through a battle with the red smeared over her forehead and eyes, jumped on his back in an attempt at strangling him. By the time the nurses on stand-by arrived, Vegeta's hotdog was left in the dirt and both were bruised and bloody for real.

For her sake, Krillin took her swatting hand as she was loaded onto the back of the emergency van and taken away, and promised to look after the booths. "I swear, I won't let anyone burn them down."

"Damnit, Vegeta!" She groped out for him, trying to scratch him face. As though she hadn't already dislocated a retina. The short teenager waved goodbye to the two being wheeled away, regardless of the fact that they couldn't see him. Then he stood there dressed in his usual orange baggy pants and blue shirt, very conscious of the smoothness of his scalp.

He'd settled down, trying to feel managerial and responsible. Here to kiss girls, oh no, he was just the accountant. Right. Watching the place for Bulma. Go on ahead to Yamcha over there. He wished he'd brought some homework or a book. Krillin leaned against the rough wood that was not unlike his desk at home, after having found an upside down bucket to sit on.

Someone stepped up to his booth.

He didn't even look at them, borrowing Bulma's haughty look of disinterest. "No refunds."

Pales hands flattened to either side of his own. "Oh, I'm not here for a refund."

Krillin nearly fell off the bucket.

The blonde girl took one look at him, and began laughing. "Aw. Poor Krillin. Waiting for girls to start lining up."

Krillin sighed, excuse ready. "Bulma got hot sauce in her eye. I'm just watching this for her."

She pulled away from the booth, all chummy, and making him immediately suspicious. That had lured him close before, but now Krillin was a wiser man, and wouldn't fall for such trickery so easily. "That's the worse excuse I've ever heard."

"It's true. Why else would I be here?"

"I dunno. Maybe you need some extra money? So, what, five bucks to see, ten to—"

"What?"

Juuhachigou was digging into her jeans for something. Those little red tickets had never looked so intimidating. "Okay, come here."

"What-what for? _What are you expecting from me_?"

"Stop glaring at me. All I want is what the booths advertise."

Krillin leaned away, feeling the muscles in his leg tense. There would be a second chase through the fair, even shorter than the first considering how fast Juuhachigou could run in track and on the lacrosse team. "Uh, this feels like a trap."

"I thought you liked me?" Blinking those incredibly blue eyes.

He gave her a wary glance, looking to make sure she didn't have a hammer tucked in the back of her pants or something. "Well, alright."

It last about five seconds, was on the cheek, and Juuhachigou still looked pissed even while he tried not to pass out into the dirt. Why was she teasing him again? Why did she have to be so cruel, and why was he so weak to let her hold so much power over him? "That's it? Now I'm demanding a refund."

The short boy could only stare at her. "What more could you want?"

"Well." An innocent, wide-eyed stare that filled his view as she moved in. A mouth curved into that smile. Everything in the world now the muffled sound of her answer, "This?"


	11. 251 thru 275

**Author's Notes: Thanks for reviews/messages/favoring this story.  
**

**Inspired by Dragonball Z Episode 22: In Which Two Bald Creatures Misinterpret a Kiss as More, but Only One Nearly Destroys the World Because Of It. **

**"I just want someone to call me pretty and take me to Taco Bell." –A girl on my local news.**

* * *

**251. The Last Thing I Remember**

He understood that he did indeed had progressed past the 'crush' stage when he found himself doing what Goku had done with Chi-Chi, and running straight through traffic to see her. Yelling her name, heart in a flurry of delight as she paused and turned around, mouth falling open, hair falling in a golden curtain across an eye. In a similar vein to what Vegeta had done, and shoved Bulma out onto the freeway, only at the last second to reach out and stop her from being smeared against the median.

Only unlike those cases, they managed to dodge the vehicles. Krillin didn't even get to limply, lamely, waved and say hello as his tall bruised and breatheless best friend had done to a horrified Chi-Chi, whose response had been to slowly move her hands from her mouth and wave back_. ("Hi, Chi!")_

Or scream obscenities, then burst into confused tears, "I almost died right now! And _you didn't_ kill me! You bastard—how dare you try to murder me!"

Instead, all he experienced was a huge push from his right side that sent him spinning around, feet briefly leaving the ground, not even hearing the thump he'd made, the dent against the roof. His head hit the asphalt hard enough to bring stars to actual erupt in his dazed eyes, hard enough to scrape inches of skin from his skull and from his shoulder to forearm.

But until the paramedics arrived, and the shock wore off, and he understood what had happened fully, before the blacking out and sobbing helplessly as the pain swallowed him, Krillin's last memory was of Juuhachigou pulling his head into her lap and brushes his cheek with one slim thumb. An angel haloed by the traffic light hanging overhead.

"Krillin? Krillin? Say something—are you still conscious?"

**252. Finding Out**

Bulma choked on her iced tea. Her eyes were blank with shock. Slowly, she lowered her glass and looked to her friend for an explanation.

"You have to promise not to tell _anyone_. Not one person! Please!"

The blue-haired scientist stared at Krillin's pleading, pale face. At the tears gathering in the corner's of his eyes. At his quivering lips and shaking hands. Behind him, the clock read, one forty five. Over the smell of vanilla chai, there was Krillin's desperation filling her nose. "I won't."

By two o' clock, Chi-Chi found out, and immediately felt even more disgusted on top of the morning sickness. She swore not to tell anyone at two ten.

By two o clock and fifteen seconds, Gohan found out as he heard his mother yelling through the walls over how insane Krillin was.

By three, Yamcha knew, and promised to help Krillin, and to keep his trap shut. Which he did, until he ran into Juuhachigou at four in the afternoon, at the mall. Then he hurried home to call one of his friends.

By five thirty, Tien and Launch knew, and '_that was nice, we need more couples to spend time with'_, and after a sneeze, '_was that the android you got hurt protectin'_?' Tien, and half of Launch agreed not to tell anyone, but the other Launch was the one to answer the phone.

By six thirteen, Krillin tried to explain to Yamcha that '_yes, I am okay and no, I am not lonely, and yes, I know that Juuhachigou is an android, actually she's a cyborg, but I don't care, and how the hell did you find out? Oh god, you found out from whom? And you told who? Do you think she knows…Could they have talked to her, since she's in public?'_

By eight thirty, finally panicked, he called her house and 'screaming, crying into the receiver that I'm sorry, it was a mistake to tell anyone, but I love you and I'm just glad you know, that you finally know how I feel.' Followed by more sobbing and pleading, for his life, for her heart.

By eight thirty three he finally heard someone respond, 'Uh, you know this is Juunanagou, right?'

By eight thirty four, Juunanagou stormed into her room, demanding to know what the hell was going on with her and that hideous shrimp, did she know that _he_ _was in love with her_?

**253. The last time you were left breathless**

The old wise hermit understood that he had to say something, to one or both of them, in private perhaps, about their behavior. Aside from the broken furniture, and he winced as they knocked over a lamp, it was cruel of her to lead him on this way. Krillin was attached to her, had pleaded her case whenever she came over, was determined to be kind and friendly to her in hopes of winning her heart. And these daily wrestling sessions couldn't be helping.

As usual, the android had him in a one-armed headlock, and was applying the knuckles of her free hand against his neck. His cry that her hands were freezing only made a laugh appear on that increasingly flushed face. The fingers pulling at her own were much too weak to be affective. They were just about to start rolling around on the floor and pinning each other and knocking the couch over.

"You're suffocating me! And your hair tickles!"

"Then get out. What, I thought you were a fighter?"

Obviously, this couldn't continue.

For Krillin's own good.

Still, Master Roshi almost smiled at the sight of them. Krillin's joy came in such fleeting gasps since Goku's death. And he'd never before had he seen Juuhachigou so happy than when she was shoving Krillin's face into the carpet.

**254. That's when I knew**

"So what you're saying is, you liked me...because I was _scared_."

"Oh. It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it?"

"Okay. Yes, it was sort of that. You just looked so _scared_, and it was _you_. You know. The scary, bad-ass android that beat up Vegeta and was supposed to kill us all.

"And _you_ looked frightened of Cell.

"It really just highlighted that you were normal and human and...

"Salvageable?"

"I didn't say that word."

"You were thinking it."

"I was not!

"Look. You were so freaked out and worried."

"And that did it for you?"

"No! I, uh. It just made me sympathetic. It was the final straw."

She brushed hair out of her eyes. "For you to be the 'hero'?"

"I...you make things so difficult. That was the moment I knew I couldn't press the controller. And that, well, you know."

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"Right then. Looking at you behind a rock and holding a remote control to shut you down."

"Creeping up behind me, all sweaty and nervous, hoping to turn me off without having to fight me. Since we both knew even then you'd lose."

"Oh, I knew right from the start I'd lose to you-"

"Don't."

"-My heart."

"Stop."

"From that moment on, I was helpless before you."

"Before that, really."

"You owned me completely and utterly. Couldn't even fight it. Emotionally speaking.

"Physically, I tried bashing my head to get you out. Tried to talk Bulma into shocking me with one of her machines. Talked to Goku a lot, like he was my therapist...which definitely didn't help. Vegeta even smacked my head, and all I got was a concussion and a chance to sit around and think about you."

"That explains a few things."

"But at that moment, I knew you'd won me over and that I couldn't hurt you. Except for when I attempt to sing to you. For which I will not apologize for."

"..."

"And for you?"

"Ugh. I hate this sharing crap."

"You didn't mind sharing a few things a moment ago."

"_Shut up_. Don't even say something like that, alone. Don't even _think_ it."

"So?" He cringed a little, trying to hide a grin.

"I...fine. God. When I saw you, I thought you were some weirdo. The shrimpy bald hero. Goku's best friend who couldn't get a date to save his life. And," Juuhachigou almost literally had to choke the words out.

"And that, for a bald weak shrimp, I guess. Well. You were hideous. But, bizarrely, a cute one. I don't know." The blonde woman looked around the brightening bedroom, filling with the soft fuzzy glow of dawn. Staring around the sheets and pillows like she'd never seen such things.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing. You're just a sophisticated woman with good, unique taste."

"'Unique.' Sure. Nice way to put it."

"Hey, if there's one person who agrees with your taste in guys, it's me."

"Ughh. I can't explain it. It went against all rational. But I wanted to tease the weird, strange little man who didn't even try to fight but _talked_ to my brother. As though that ever worked.

"So I..." She seemed unable to go on.

"Ultimately, though, you came to embrace this decision."

"At the time, I mostly dismissed it. I thought, well, you just were awoken by a crazy literal mad-scientist. Disorientation. I couldn't be held accountable for those ideas.

"But then, I thought about you a bit when we were out looking for Goku."

"Like, 'when am I going to see that attractive short guy'?"

"Mostly, oh god. What you were doing, how I might...well, I'd prefer to not discuss it."

"To do what we just did?"

"I'm not going to answer that."

"So I guess you were the one trying to creep up on me. I had absolutely no idea you felt that way."

"..."

"Just tell me, did these thoughts consist of us alone?"

"Yes. Except, occasionally, for Goku's body."

"Ew. What? Jeez, Juuhachigou."

"I never said I enjoyed those ideas!"

"Okay, Goku's dead, body in or out of the scene, and it's just us, and what? You're comforting me over his death?"

"More like blackmailing, to be honest. Threatening."

"Mm. Alright. To the victor go the spoils, I guess. Did it involve you grabbing me and telling me to be quiet?"

"Maybe."

"No wonder that move look so practiced."

"Why are you dragging up all these bad memories?"

"How bad could they be? What was just done in reality was much worse."

"I agree."

"Although, that thing with Goku's body is kinda disturbing. Anyway. Hey. Don't look so defeated. It's not like a fight. It was, shockingly, mutual. If anything, really, your side of it was more lopsided. Have I told you lately how perfect you are?"

"Just shut up. Like you weren't crying in joy."

"Sure. But apparently I wasn't the only one who'd been thinking about that. Just amazing."

"Stop gushing."

"I'm going to be an adult and not make a joke there. Say, I thought girls like it when guys talked about them?"

"I don't like this entire conversation."

"Soooo...when exactly did you start, you know, feeling strongly for me?"

"I don't know. It was a gradual change. Like leprosy."

"For me it was spontaneous. I thought you were pretty right off the bat too, though."

"This is why I wish you kept your mouth shut."

"At _all _times?"

"Yes. Unless told otherwise. What, why are you looking at me that way?"

"You're so, just so much more—I can't find the word without pissing you off. _Passionate_. Amazing. It's like, it's like thinking the sun's a little warm and then getting close to it and realizing how hot it really is, and melting."

"You're giddy. That grin. Do you even realize you're grinning?"

"You're just so much _more_ than I dreamed."

"_How_ you're grinning?"

"I want to run around the house screaming. I can't even stop talking. Or smiling. You're so perfect, any flaws only make you more so."

"What flaws? I told you, I didn't _like_ thinking about Goku's body being in the background. It just was there and there was nothing I could do about it."

"Why did we wait so long? As soon as we saw each other, we should have just ran off together."

"Oh god. It would have been worth it just to see my brother's expression."

"Don't forget about Vegeta's reaction. Awwww, you look so pretty smiling."

"Stop grinning like that."

"Or what?"

"Mmm, I though you wanted to have some deep conversation. Not that I mind the more interesting turn. In the conversation. Um."

"So, you're very easy to distract. That's nice to know."

"Well, so long as it gets us out of talking."

"I can just _smile_ at you when you start yelling."

"That thing on your face is not a smile. It's somewhere between a smirk and leer."

"I can't explain it besides that I'm so happy. This feeling of unspeakable joy. I need a fancy word for it. Luminescence. Like blindfolds being raised, huge weight's been lifted off my back."

"That weight is years, and then several direct months of built-up sexual tension."

"Hah! So you admit that there was tension. Good tension."

"You look like a cat that's about to pounce." Juuhachigou's voice was clear and detached. "After having slept with you, I'm seeing things in a whole new light. I think I got all that out of my system."

"Eeehh. Permanently?"

"I don't know. Maybe every few months?"

"Like a camel?"

"Hah. Maybe?"

"Oh. Oh god."

"Hmm. There goes that smile. Come here. Right here. Like that. Mmm, that statement from before might have been a premature."

"Again, being a respectable adult here."

"Okay, if it gets you from making bad off-color jokes, I'll tell you when I realized I was in love with you. You can lean against me; I don't mind.

"I don't remember the exact moment I started to care that much for you. Or even when I liked you. Definitely not when I heard about your crush. Or when you made that wish.

"That just made me curious as to what I was dealing with. But when I started like you...? I think that was when I came home, when I lived with my brother permanently, and you were there, fixing the roof. All stained in tar and only wearing shorts and those stupid boat shoes."

"I don't remember that very well. I think I blocked most of it out. But still, I can't remember having any deep talks with you."

"And you barely noticed me. You were so busy spreading tar, as though it were the most important thing in the world. All I got was a nod. But the entire reason you were there was because of me. In fact, the entire reason you were helping my brother fix that place up was to get closer to me."

"That, and I felt sorry for him, living like that. You couldn't just leave a person in that place."

"But, the point is, you were so serious and self-important. I can't explain it. The way you didn't hang around me like a puppy. Plus, being shirtless I will admit helped."

"_That's_ when you started like me? Not me bringing flowers and making dinner and constantly refreshing your drink? Carrying your groceries. Hell, _buying_ you groceries? Doing the laundry? When I would read to you and your brother?"

"Sorry to disappoint you. I wanted to go up there and distract you, maybe change into something that would make you drop that bucket of hot tar all over yourself. And simultaneously, really wished you weren't there. I went inside feeling all sick and hating us both."

"Hehe, I understand."

"I still hate us both, a little. We're both just so disgustingly weak."

"Nice weak though, at first. Inside. Things all watery and refracted. But then just being around you makes me stronger. When Cell was trying to hurt you-"

"You got stupid."

"I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you."

"Didn't help." She sighed. "But I guess when I realized I, ugh, that word."

"Love?"

"Yes. That one. Stop smirking."

"I know this isn't easy for you."

"Keep quiet while I finish answering your stupid question. It was when you were done taking care of Gohan and Goten, and Chi-Chi was there picking them up. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV and hearing you say goodbye, and-

"I can't even remember the exact words you were saying to her or her children. But it just popped into my head that I was listening to the man I loved. Something exactly like that, with the television remote in my hand, on that stupid couch, going 'that's the sound of the man I'm in love with.'"

Krillin seemed unable to not jump at her using _that_ word. Referring to him as 'the man she loved' stunned him more than any of Vegeta's punches could.

"It wasn't even_ angry. _Falling in love with someone who sounded like that. I didn't even understand what I was thinking for something like ten second. It was just a thought I couldn't control. Like Goku's dead body being in the background of some fucked up sexual imagery.

"Then I nearly threw up. I wanted to run away and go back to my brother. Or live alone. But it was too. I couldn't just leave. It was like you made some trap that didn't involve walls. There was nothing I could escape from. It was internal, like a virus."

"And there was no way to act out on how I felt. I just had to walk around with that in my head, unable to talk to someone. Really. Who was I going to talk to? Oolong? The old man? My brother?"

"I guess the other women. And me?"

"Bulma? God, she would immediately tell you. Or come over and find a way to lock us into a closet together. And I can't imagine Chi-Chi's reaction. Either she would start screaming and tell me to stay away from you, or just smile and wish me luck. Neither of those two would have any advice. I would have been better off talking to Vegeta. At least he might say I should just corner and pin you down.

"Telling you...that never really occurred to me. I wanted to just wait it out until it passed."

"Until last night?"

"The two of them were gone for most of the evening. It was a pleasant night. You were being extra nice. The weather wasn't being terrible. Dinner was good and the way you licked whipped cream from your finger seemed to be a signal. There was nothing to watch except porn. I don't know. I took it as a sign to just get it over with. The blindfold and the weight on my own back were getting bad.

"Maybe it was all the porn, actually. That stuff doesn't help."

"No, it doesn't."

"Let's blame the porn."

**255. Random**

Master Roshi heard Marron's giggling, the rush of ki, Krillin's loud breathing. His pupil dropped his tow-headed daughter, sweaty and disheveled. "Havetogo. Juuhachigoufightingmonster. WatchMarron. Thanks!"

"What? What's going on!" the turtle hermit yelled at the diminishing red-black figure that fled back westward.

**256. lying in ditches. **

He woke up with a face full of dirt, and spent five minutes just blinking up at the blazing sun and blue sky. It took a little while to realize he was missing his shirt, the one he'd set out the evening with. And his pants were different. Juuhachigou was going to be so confused when he came home.

After Krillin managed to get to his feet, and then stepped over Goku, who was missing his pants, and clutching bags filled with broccoli. Then he collapsed as a root tugged at his foot.

"Krillin?" The dark-eyed Saiyan gazed around. "We shouldn't have gotten drunk. Chi was right. Why does she always have to be right about this stuff?

"Where are my pants?"

The ex-monk rubbed his head. "Did we get that from the bar?"

"Chi-Chi's always telling me to pick stuff up on the way home." Goku shrugged. "I hope she doesn't ask where we got this."

**257. Oh people say that I creep you out**

Master Roshi eventually understood, and told Oolong and Turtle. Oolong dropped the frying pan he'd been struggling to clean, and the Turtle only gave a long, slow smile. "They're seeing each other. Hehe, way to go, son."

"No way."

The sun would sooner shine out of Bulma's ass, (like she thought it did already) than would Krillin get a woman like Juuhachigou to like him. Machine. Whatever. She still looked hot.

It was weird, how obsessive he was towards her. Always hanging around, annoying her. He was just lucky she couldn't murder him without suffering the consequence of a pissed off Gohan coming around to kill her. Even then, Krillin was pushing his luck by standing so close and leaning into her, almost flirting. To say nothing of when they would go swimming and he would sit next to her on the beach chair. Watching Krillin brandishing sunscreen at the pale and uncomfortable android was a lesson in mortality. You chewed your fingernails less watching those 'Gone Wrong' movies of stuntmen leaping into burning buildings.

With Krillin, he never burst into flames, only racking up the anxiety a little higher.

…aw, god, and there was that time he'd found them on the couch, their short little friend who couldn't catch a break or understand signals, trying to cuddle up against the blank-faced machine.

"That's why they're always smiling around each other. I bet they're together, right now."

"Hmm. Think we can slip a camera in?"

"We can try."

The shape-shifting pig bent to pick up the pan. "I still don't believe it. That's why she's teasing him, and they're always laughing at each other? It's supposed to be normal? Not weird? At all?"

"Oh, it's still weird. She is an android, after all."

Krillin came down, shirtless and tired. Only confirming the worst. He grabbed a carton of juice and two tumblers before heading back towards the stairs. "Hey."

"Where are you going?"

"Back to bed."

"Oh. Haha, with Juuhachigou?"

"Of course." The fighter tugged at his bedhead.

"No wonder you look so tired." The turtle hermit gave both short man and Turtle high-fives.

"Well, yeah, it's hard work. More technical than you'd think." Krillin sounded thoughtful.

"…I, guess. She is an android."

"Oh, but that's all normal. It's just not that easy. You have to take temperatures and use these sticks to make sure it's the right time."

"…I don't think we need to hear the grisly details. Not that. _What_?"

"What stick?"

Krillin nodded, gesturing with the juice. "Two of 'em, too. And we have to keep track of the calendar. I thought, just, boom, there you go. But it's a lot of waiting and seeing. With both of us. Thankfully, we're both healthy and all that. One to make sure it's the right time, and another to make sure she isn't already pregnant."

"…" Oolong dropped the pan again. And this time, Master Roshi dropped his walking stick, and clutched at his throat.

"I guess, considering our friends had no problem getting pregnant so soon, we'd been able to too. Eh, it's alright though. Hah, I don't mind. Hm, some cereal might be good too. See you guys later."

**258. You're the Cutest Thing I've Ever seen Like a Teddy Bear On Heroin**

He'd thought the wrestling and grappling part of the evening was over with. They'd both rolled over, trying to breathe and straighten their hair out and find the pillows that had tumbled to the floor. Together, their eyes had closed, and wordlessly, Juuhachigou allowed Krillin to sleep in her bed.

Krillin had smiled, savoring the small victory, ignoring the bruises on his hip from her grabbing him. And the scratches on his back that the books had never described as burning so strongly. Plus the pulled muscles in areas that had never hurt before. But he'd taken his victory, and not minded that she was now ignoring him. Or the unfamiliar sensation of having someone next to him, and sleeping in a strange bed.

Then she had rolled over onto him. Adorable, at first, the peaceful face cuddling onto his shoulder. Juuhachigou had magnificent eyes that burned his soul and left the remains to drift upward, but she was maybe even prettier with those eyes closed. Despite her forehead grinding onto his chin, Krillin had grit his teeth in a grin and dealt with it for the otherwise gentleness she was displaying. Care, definitely caring for him. A slim arm reaching up to wrap around his waist, tightening, tightening. Tightening. Her bare leg rising to lock him into place.

"Juuhachigou!"

He tried not to wake her, tried to slip away, tried to extract her limbs that were like steel. But Juuhachigou refused to loosen her grip, or do anything more than grumble under her things that weren't actually words, acting like a child having her teddy bear pulled away from her as he grabbed for the bed board during his attempts to crawl away.

**259. I think I'd like it if we waited**

Krillin had put his plans for a family with several children on hold for many years. So many he had to doubt whether he even wanted that. After all they'd gone through, he wasn't sure how permanently this latest peace was, and if he wanted to put any child of his in such danger. It might have been kinder to never have kids rather than risking losing one. And even if there was no one out there to kill them, ordinary dangerous lurked, and really, his partner was lukewarm to Goten and Trunks, and to any other kids they saw.

Wary, she was, when she'd see him smiling at a baby.

Who knew if she could even have kids? It was a question he couldn't bring himself to ask of her, couldn't stand the thought of hurting her with such a question.

So it seemed like fate was having a laugh when Juuhachigou literally jumped on his back and whispered into his ear that she wanted to have a baby. Right now. Yep, in this hallway, since the perverts were gone.

His knees had gone so slack that she just about slid right off him. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Kids? _Now_?"

A cheeky little smile that he loved more than air itself. "What, I thought you were always in the mood?"

"That's not what I meant. You want children?"

"Right now. As I said."

"…have you thought this through in the least!"

"Calm down. Yes, of course. We're going to have a family, I always thought."

"I always thought we were the family! Kids? _Now_?"

"Yes. Just one or two. I don't care about the gender. Hopefully they have a nose. That's all I'll say."

"Two, two kids?"

"I want to be the mother of your two point five children."

"Two point five. As in _more than two now_!"

Juuhachigou was all shrugs. "I want to have a baby with you. This was always in the fine print, Krillin."

"No! No it wasn't!"

**260. Take me to your best friend's house; I love you there and I love you now**

Chi-Chi got it, why that pale machine was here. At _her _house, her house that had gotten ransacked by that machine that had stood so awkwardly away from everyone. Trying to avoid knocking into equally uncomfortable, wall-leaning Vegeta and Piccolo. Another enemy turned sorta-friend, Krillin had informed her, grinning without any sheepishness. Oh, and how's the baby?

Letting her turn the subject to her infant rather than his new_ girlfriend_.

The pale girl hadn't even apologized. Just looked like she was frozen in ice, avoiding most of the people there, saving emotions like anger for Krillin, who could only smile back. Strange, the recent widow had thought. Then the dark-haired woman was forced to pull Goten off Piccolo's antennas, and forgot all about them.

…she looked like she was eating his face, all suffocating the new Krillin, with his short hair. Wiggling like eels, falling against the old tire her father had hung from the branch in the yard, then stumbling into the study tree. Grabbing his arms while he either struggling for escape, or trying to grab her hair. Knocking over a wooden bucket, Gohan's bike, bashing into Bulma's aircar hard enough to leave a dent. Again, this machine was wrecking her home.

Well, at least she hadn't insulted any of the other women. Or attempted to steal anyone already taken. Was dressed in reasonable clothes.

The blue-haired scientist rolled her eyes when Chi-Chi grabbed her and yanked her to the window to behold the spectacle. "I _told_ you I saw them making out. At Capsule Corp, in one of the closets. Vegeta and I were looking for a private area ourselves."

Bulma's gaze went hazy while Chi-Chi tried to come to grips with how different everything was. Goku's death had left a void for the weirdness to creep in. "They're doing it everywhere, I guess. You should have seen Vegeta when he saw them."

A blue jacket flouted out of nowhere, the future version of the small toddler currently attempting to get his father to pick him up. "What are you guys staring at—" Trunks made a sound of horror, mouth and eyes open with disbelief.

"Yeah. Like that. Ah, damnit. You two, get off my car!"

**261. Just Married**

After a week, Krillin came back, tanned, refreshed, with a crinkled shirt and a blonde woman at his side. Considering that his roommates had thought his abrupt departure from Kame House had been a spiritual quest to rediscover his new goals and place in the universe after having lost his best friend, and retiring from fighting, their shocked reaction felt alright. It was all they could do to pull at their collars and stare at the young female being who stared them all down. Her polka shell necklace should have looked more innocent.

Krillin's grin was borderline sickly. "Hey there."

"Hi."

Only the large turtle resting there besides the sun-bleached umbrellas and chairs looked happy.

"So, who's she?"

"…you know, since I'm not really a martial artist, you're not really my Master. So I don't need to ask your permission, for a girlfriend."

"Oh. Oh. Well. Hello there." Master Roshi's smile erupted, aimed at the blonde woman. Who in turn only raised an eyebrow and turned away.

"Um. So. Me getting married." Krillin looked upward, searching through the white clouds for something. "I don't need your agreement for that either. Right? No, no, I am a grown man, and can decide who I want to marry."

"…are you two engaged?" Oolong couldn't have sounded more disbelieving if he'd tried.

"No." Finally, the woman spoke. Then reached out to grab Krillin's ear and yank him closer. The short man stumbled backward with a grin none of the others had seen in six months. His exposed throat was marked with hickeys, beneath his own polka shell necklace.

"But, so, can she please live here?"

**262.** "**We just stand in one place and let the hotties come to us."**

Oolong stared at the wizened turtle hermit over the bag of nails and the shrinking hole in their ceiling. "She's gonna leave soon, right? How long can Krillin put up with her?"

As though she'd heard their wishful thinking, Juuhachigou voice filled the air, words unrecognizable. Krillin's pale form rushing out the front door reminded Oolong of a chicken with its head cut off. His pitiful attempt at closing the door went unnoticed by the blonde machine. "Leave me alone!"

The threats and pleading might have been playful.

They watched him spin from the force of her blow that sent him eventually falling into the obviously cold water. His screams made Oolong shudder. As did Juuhachigou's, when she was tugged down into the water with him. Their combined splashing turned to only one's when she shoved him underwater.

Only after Roshi had finished nailing another board up did Juuhachigou finally help Krillin up.

**263. Will You Please Let Me Stay The Night? No One Will Ever Know.**

It hadn't been begging, exactly, no. Juuhachigou still had her pride, no matter how she clung and shivered to him. Krillin hadn't understood her request at first. Her pushing herself into him hadn't done the trick either. Touching her hair had pushed him to the brink of tumbling off into some repressed-hormone valley. All comforting, and polite, as her hands grabbed at him. Pulled him against her neck. Them on this ugly couch together should have given him some clue as to what she wanted. "It's okay, hey, hey. It's okay."

"Please." Not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

"No one's going to hurt you. I swear, Miss Juuhachigou. No one could. If anyone even tried, uuh, well, they'd have to go through me. Scary, right?"

She looked up at him.

"No one's going to hurt you. I mean it, it's okay. No one wants revenge, or anything like that."

The small warm hands going to her hair, her cheek. Voice falling, eyes becoming half-lidded. Thumb going in circles, almost near her ear. "Cell's gone. Permanently. He's gone. So is Gero."

His shirt warm and teasingly tight, old, she could feel him through it. That heartbeat that she wanted to make race. Just a man, if much stronger than most, and kinder, and more clueless. "Just let me stay here. Tonight. Please."

"Oh, oh, sure."

Juuhachigou had known what he'd wanted as soon as that boy Gohan had mentioned a crush.

"That's not a problem. We have a spare bedroom. Or, you know what, you could have my bed. It's a little nicer. I think. Whichever you'd feel more comfortable with. I could sleep in either. Or downstairs, on the couch. Or you could sleep here, they're not that bad. If you'd wanted to. No one will bother you."

But apparently, he had some charade of chivalry to go through. Pretend to be innocent. Just some friend whose eyes had glanced at her chest, her legs, when she'd sat down. Juuhachigou could imagine the fabric of this red couch sticking to their skin. Juuhachigou wanted him with some sheets and pillows nearby. To just fall asleep with her brain turned off, and not a care for tomorrow morning. "I don't want to sleep down here."

"Well, I just changed the sheets in either bedroom. I do air the rooms out, believe it or not."

It was too nice, to sit here, hugging him. Even the way he smelled was a temptation. Teasing her to the point where she wasn't sure what her next move was. He seemed the type to get easily spooked. "Krillin. Which bed are you going to use?"

He gave a harmless shrug and grin. "Whichever one you don't want, I guess. Miss Juuhachigou? It's not a big deal. I don't mind. Whichever."

Even when she imitated him by scooting even closer, pressing a nose into his jawline, his only response was to squeal like a wet puppy. "Krillin. I want to sleep in whatever bed you want."

"Um. Uuuuhhm. You don't. So, you don't want me to get a bed?"

"I…really? How do I make this clearer?"

The dark eyes just blinked back at her. It was startling, to see the color and shape of those eyes, his curl of dark eyelashes.

Juuhachigou had to keep herself from turning away. "I want to sleep in the same bed as you."

Krillin seemed to experience a short heart attack, beneath her forehead. "Eeeh, if all we do is sleep, not that I would imply we'd do more! Or expect that. I guess it's not a big deal. I mean, we've fought a giant bug monster from the future. This is nothing. If you're sure, Miss Juuhachigou."

Then he patted her head.

"Stop playing around. You're not some child. We're both adults."

"Right. _Exactly_."

"Do you not want to sleep with me? Is this some weird game?"

"Wah, I have no problems. Okay, maybe minor ones. I don't do stuff like this a lot. Even platonically, sleeping with girls. I'm sorry."

The blonde cyborg wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him. "I don't want to sleep with you platonically. I came here to—I want to share a bed with you, tonight. How am I supposed to continue this, Krillin."

"We will—not platonically? What other way-" A light bulb went off over that shiny head. "Um. Maybe, not to be rude. I don't think you realize what that means."

"Krillin. We're going to go to your bed. Together. And then I will take off this ugly shirt and those stupid pants or yours. And you will _carefully _remove my clothes. Are you following me? We're going to _hopefully _have sex. Tonight? Do you know what that means? Are you still attracted to me?"

His eyes were still narrowed, mouth pink and open. Some tic moved beneath his cheek, and it was impossible for her to not kiss that cheek. That's what had gotten him in the first place. This time, he at least move his head to push his forehead into hers, for their mouths to brush and draw the air from both their lungs. "Miss. _Juuhachigou_. Are you sure?"

Juuhachigou took his hand, and had to physically lead him upstairs. Not even knowing if his bedroom was up there, and which room it was. But she was smiling at his lost expression, that she was here, and touching him, and that she now had some plan, some idea of what she wanted and what her immediate future would consist of, that Krillin had soft calloused hands.

She already felt better.

**264. I'll be anything you ask and more**

Their friendship had blossomed with her weakening, and him strengthening. She gave into his courageous stabs at being her sparring partner. He prepared dinner and they read books together and argued about every character. When offered during one of their walks, she eventually took the seashell he held out, though claimed not to hear the ocean in it at all.

Her asking to use his camera hadn't even been a blip on the screen of what they did for each other. 'Sure, go ahead.'

While she didn't care much for having pictures taken of herself, she did enjoy being behind the camera herself. His friends didn't mind; it was nice to see the often-solemn Juuhachigou doing something so normal that had her in contact with other people. And of course absolute strangers had no issue posing for a gorgeous girl, and Krillin did his best at hiding his envy towards every good-looking guy that flirted with her. And with the good-looking woman that did the same.

Juuhachigou was focused more on shadows and color than people, thankfully.

Until she was forcing him into different angle to catch light coming through the open window, peeling off his shirt _without asking_, shoving him into the bed with his leg curled up and foot on the sheet, taking the camera in hand while he tried to keep himself in control.

It was hard to hear her over the shutter clicking. "Just relax. No, tense up a little."

"Really, _really_ Juuhachigou?"

"I have an artistic vision, is all. Now take off your pants. What? _Please_?"

**265. But if I seem to act unkind, it's only me, not my mind that is confusing things**

Guilt drove her back. Although, of course she wasn't really going to leave. Couldn't, after everything.

…well, she could. Not like he could find her.

Still.

_Why here? Why there?_

She hadn't been serious, about taking off after telling Krillin that she needed to be alone, away from his worriment. About the paranoid look in his eyes. 'Are you sure, are you sure, are you sure we don't need to put up another babyproof fence?' The jokes from his roommates 'wow, that sure happened _real_ fast.' Her brother throwing out things like 'hope they aren't twins. Or triplets! Maybe one will absorb the other.'

Juuhachigou, and her one single normal baby, needed to be alone together. For a little while. Savoring the peace. And trees. It was nice to be free from any voices, to stroke her stomach and _think_ of things to say to her future child. To float above a forest, or to land somewhere peaceful but for birds and bugs.

_This is not what your mission is._

Was.

Before her pregnancy, she'd always disliked the outdoors. But so much else had changed now, why not find a new appreciation for dirt getting on her new shoes. From months before, Juuhachigou could hear the other women laughing about their own children throwing jello into a fan that had been facing the entire group, 'this is nothing.'

A little boy with dark or bright hair, dark eyed, grinning a gape-toothed smile as he hurdled a clump of sand at her right after she'd stepped from the shower. A little girl tying a jump rope on the bars to the stairs for tripping her father up. Twins that looked like what she and her brother might have when small, breaking plates and tipping bowls at the dinner table. Triplets with evil grins and speedy legs.

She already loved the tiny human growing inside her, the curled baby that punched and kicked especially when Krillin would sing it lullabies. And she already knew that no amount of love was going to keep it from destroying things and eating batteries and ruining many, many diapers. It would probably have her husband's appetite, too.

She'd decided to marry Krillin, and to have children with her new short husband, and any fears of either of those two things had already disappeared months ago. Peeling away from Krillin in the mornings had helped settle any discomfort over such a_ human_ thing, marriage was. Paperwork and wedding less marriage aside, here she was, sitting in the woods, married and pregnant. Getting ready to return home and deal with Krillin's puppy glare. Home.

She was Juuhachigou, woman turned cyborg by Gero, created to destroy the world's strongest fighters, was married now to the fighter ex-monk Krillin, and carrying his baby. Together, and they were most definitely together, they lived on a hideous pink house with hanging palm trees and a talking pig and turtle, and perverted old hermit. Their baby was due soon.

Really, there was no reason to even be here, hiding. There was always Dende, to heal them of their more serious injuries caused by this future child that kicked so hard when during its father's attempt to serenade them both.

Any second Juuhachigou would get up and fly back, with no more trepidation, with no more desire to flee, and eventually that little voice in her head would go away.

**266. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here**

What only compounded her guilt was how_ loud_ her laughter had been as she watched Krillin bounce from her fist into the builder. That he had confessed to love the sound of her merriment did not help.

And of course, it had been so long since cracking he'd even trained, a fact that she'd rubbed into his face before nearly his skull. The white of his eyes exposed as he collapsed. Only the sound of the sea and her own breathing. Rolling her eyes, telling him to get up, only to realize that he couldn't. There was really more blood on the sand than there should have been, yes, but head injuries were always so _dramatic_.

Juuhachigou could no longer breathe.

Only after seeing the rise and fall of her husband's chest could she move forward.

"Miss Juuhachigou!"

"Krillin?"

"How've you been? Ow. How did I get here?" He reached for the back of his head.

"What? What's this?" Krillin yanked at his hair, flinching. "Ow. Owww. Why do I have hair?"

"…what are you talking about?" She had this stupid urge to bite her fingers, seeing the blood sliding from his scalp down his neck.

"I have hair. What's going on, Miss Juuhachigou?"

Krillin had stopped calling her that the third time she'd felt him up, years and years ago. "Krillin? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Except for this headache. But what about you? You look well. Did you ever find your brother? Twin brother. Seriously, why do I have hair?"

"My brother?" Considering Juunanagou had been here a few weeks ago for Marron's birthday, Krillin should have remembered that. And why he had hair. How the hell did he not remember why/how he had hair, after spending who knew how time standing on his head and trying to get it to grow faster. And…_Miss Juuhachigou_? "Krillin, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Not sure. Um. Were we fighting? I didn't make you angry, or anything. Because I haven't been trying to find you. I respect your privacy. After you flew off, I wanted to give you space."

"Flew off? From where?"

He cocked his head, an old, well-loved gesture. "Kami's Lookout."

There was nothing she could do to keep her voice down. "That's when you last think we've seen each other?"

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

Juuhachigou could have ripped her hair out. Or his. "Are you kidding me!"

His hands went up, frightened. Of her, and not in the playful, oh, no, I-just-got-an-upper-hand-on-our-sparring, or their sometimes violent foreplay that left unexplainable holes in the walls. "Of course not."

"Krillin. You're just playing with me. Any second, you'll remember the last…eight years, god!"

"Eight years? _Eight years_?"

"This can't be happening."

"Eight years! What—what happened? _Why do I have hair_?"

"Because I wanted you to grow some. It came out unexpectedly well." Helpless, she reached out to feel the comforting silk of his mussed hair. She'd spent probably hours running her hands through it while he slept or was awake, eyes closed either way. Krillin turned pink, turning, cringing, like their first kiss.

"So, we're friends? After eight years?"

"Yes, I would say that. Goku's alive again, remember him?"

"What! He is! Awesome! That's great, he came back home?"

How come it was mention of his tall best friend that always cheered Krillin up? Shouldn't her mere presence before him, as desperate as he'd been to hold her hand when they were first getting to know each other, make him smile?

This was going to be so traumatizing to Marron. She'd go to hug her loved father, and only to be met with a freaked out man having a heart attack. Juuhachigou had to bring this stranger into their home, and reintroduce him to his much-improved life. Yes, yes, we're married, and this is our baby. And yes we share a room. Yes, yes, Krillin, stop hyperventilating, we do share a bedroom.

Her eyes narrowed. "To take care of his two children."

"Two kids? Wow, way to go, Goku." Then he was laughing.

"Yeah. Nice kids. Not as nice as our daughter, but alright."

"…fuh."

Hopefully, that fall backwards onto the sand might help jar some of his memories back.

**267. ****Leave your number on the locker and I'll give you a call**

"Krillin, would you mind help me move this weird pink van?"

Considering it would keep him from staring at the wall as another minute of his life passed by, the short fighter didn't mind at all.

"Hah, where did this thing even come from?"

"I have no idea. It was here when we got back," Chi-Chi huffed.

Krillin easily lifted the bumper, hoping it wouldn't peel off. "Weird thing to just find on your front lawn."

"I bet those androids left it here. After they finished ransacking our house. Do you know what condition my dresses were left it?"

"What?" He let go immediately, then looked at his hands. They should have been marked by handling something that Juuhachigou had once had in her life. Then at the van. She'd been in this thing, had ridden in it. Existed in this metal cage. Impossible to image anything but her looking out the window, vaguely annoyed, the sun glinting even brighter on her hair and turning it to white gold. Juuhachigou had left this behind, so carelessly, like a snake shedding its skin, or almost a calling card. She might have even gone into the house he was currently also staying at, touched the same things he had.

Transference, that was the word. They'd been in the same house, now, at least. _Oh, Juuhachigou_. She would never see this van again, hadn't cared enough to take it with her. She'd never step foot into the Sons' house again, or stop at Kame Island to laugh at him. Never, couldn't, not ever again. That's all she was, just a memory, and one that only had deeply affected him and Juurokugou back at Capsule Corp perhaps. No one else would mourn her.

Krillin stared at the van for a long, long time.

"…I don't even want to know which one went through my clothes. Overturned some tables, too. As though that would solve anything. Thank Kami my Gohan and Goku didn't have to face those monsters. Like spoiled, angry children.

"Krillin, are you going to help or not?"

"Yeah. Sure. Say, you don't need this right? Can I take it off your hands?"

"Oh. I guess." She gave a tired smile. "Well, at least they broke a mirror. That's seven years of bad luck, you know."

**268. ****I Might Stop to Check You Out**

Thank Kami that Piccolo hadn't woken them up. The alien had been standing outside, just practically sunning himself and waiting for them. Knowing that they would logically come here after checking Sons' house and finding Goku gone. Thoughtfully, he hadn't called out a word to his friends.

Yep, definitely thank the entire species of green-skinned slug that the fighters were still just lying there, helpless. And even better, her brother and Juurokugou were out there, arguing/trash talking with Piccolo, but quietly, and allowing her to sneak in.

The house was as terrible as Gero's database had offered. Pink inside as outside. Cleaner than she would have thought. Tapes and videos lined the shelves of the small entertainment center hardly higher than the square black table set in eastern design. The floorboards quiet and gleaming as she crept up on their sheet covered forms. Through the window, Juuhachigou could see the green-clad android playing with a crab.

One palm exposed, the other pulling the sheet to his forehead to hide his eyes. Her favorite one. Breathing so quietly, peacefully on a blue pillow. Mouth pursed. Eyes shut and moving as he dreamed. His sheet sliding downward with the tiniest tug from her fingers.

Juuhachigou nearly settled down beside him, to shake his shoulder. Would he scream loud enough for those outside to think she was murdering him? Or, better yet, she could sit there and just wait for him to wake up. The blonde was smiling for the first time since they'd finally found Goku's house.

What would be the funniest, cruelest thing to do to this little shrimp? Dump that mug of coffee on him? Scream in his ear? Throw ice cubes from the fridge into his open mouth? Kiss him again? Right on the forehead, or where his nose should have been? Or lay down, like_ this_, next to him, stretched out to match him. Face to face. He was going to piss himself when he saw her there. Have a heart attack.

The bald shrimp was still resting, still dreaming without even noticing a woman lying next to him for the first time in his pathetic life. Face slack, and different from the first time she'd seen him, when he'd been so twitchy. Like a worried squirrel. Definitely _different_. She could notice things properly, like a small scar on his temple from _unknown origin_, his Orin temple burns, the dark thick eyebrows and equally dark and thick eyelashes, hairless round cheeks and chin, that girlish pink, firm mouth. Stupid jutting ears.

It would really just_ fuck_ with him, to kiss him right on that mouth.

Or, she could tug down the blanket, like so, and move in even closer, smell soap on his skin and the recently brushed teeth, the sweat beneath the laundered clothes. Yeah, just slide an arm around a slim waist, rub a leg against his own. He was hogging the pillow, so she used her remained arm to rest her head against.

Of course, Krillin was always a weird, pesky fighter with strange distracting moves that could help fend off much stronger fighters. This was something Gero had provided, since up until now, Juuhachigou had never seen anything sneaky form Krillin. But him rolling further onto his side, slipping his own arm around her hips. Pulling her closer. She'd never felt anything so _distracting _as his forearm resting on her ribs.

Why the hell did he have to meet her challenge? Was he still asleep? Now her smile had definitely disappeared.

The tongue flicked out, to her horror. Would he kiss her? She could break every bone in his body with just her little finger, and expanding as much energy a normal person would squashing an ant. A dull glance. "Good morning, Juu—"

There. That was the expression she'd wanted, only she was fairly certain her own face was similar.

_"Juuhachigou_?"

**269. ****I can't get up without your help; I've fallen down**

"A pink van?"

"A pink delivery van."

"…I did not see that one coming."

"They're strange, strange robots. One of them robbed a cowboy outfitters."

Krillin turned that one over, hand shifting the remote over and over again. "I have no idea which one might have done that."

Any of them dressed in like a cowboy was disturbing. Hilarious, and disturbing. Juuhachigou had the most messed up clothing, but—her in _maybe leather pants and a vest_—no, no. not that road. Do not head down that road. She probably hated clothes like that.

_She has preferences? Taste in clothes?_

"Then they got into a fight with a _gang_. A motorcycle gang. The cops were called out."

"Oh, Kami."

"One of them threw a police car into a mountain."

Krillin had to clench his jaw. They had to stop those machines, they just had to. No more thinking about how there might be something beneath the pale faces, no more worrying about her, thinking about that stupid kiss. They were hurting innocent people now.

_No more waiting, or hoping. Just stop thinking of her as a real person._ "They're real monsters."

"Eh. No one was hurt."

"What? _What_? What are they doing?"

"I have no idea, Krillin. I thought they were here to destroy the world? Because so far Vegeta does more damage to this planet on a Tuesday than these guys have."

"Huh. Huh. I don't know anymore."

_No more thinking of them as monsters. _

"Well, anyway, here's the remote. I'd hoped to track them down, but so far, all I can get is that they're headed to Roshi's house. Go shut them, will you?"

**270. ****Time Is Hard To Kill, Since I Met You**

After growing to hate all their board games, finishing all the books on the island twice (even the porno ones), playing even single video three or four times (even the porno ones), they were out of ideas.

"Maybe we should get jobs?"

Juuhachigou threw down the remains of Operation, sparks flying. It went passed Krillin, flying into the bay window. "What skills exactly do you have?"

"I'm personable."

"How's that going to help you?"

"I can do thing. Lift things." Krillin shrugged from his place on the ground. "What are you going to do?"

"Steal things?"

"C'mon. I don't want to have to stop you and your brother from robbing banks again. No matter how cute you look in a ski mask." He grabbed her knee until she yanked his hand loose.

"Not with Juunana. Just me. You can join in. We'll be like what's-their-names, but better dressed." Juuhachigou tapped his palm. "What do your stupid friends do?"

"Chi-Chi knits things. And cooks. A lot. Since she has two kids that eat so much."

"We tried knitting. It didn't work."

"For you. You have no patience. It's your foil when it comes to chess, too. And Sorry."

"What does Bulma, your crazy rich friend do? Throw caviar at the penguins in her private zoo?"

"Nah, since Trunks was born, she doesn't do stuff like that anymore."

She looked at him over the couch cushion. "Maybe we should just have a kid?"

**271. ****"You leave a girl stranded in the middle of nowhere, and she's _still_ gone when you need her."**

He'd saved her. Him. _Him_. He'd actually done it. Hadn't even used the remote. Krillin had followed his heart, against all his other senses such as logic and common sense, and it had paid off. It was like Goku would have done: the right thing. And everything was going to be just fine.

Tears came to his dark eyes, and not from the force of his speed. Islands passed by in green blurs, and every breathe he pulled into his tired chest was sweet. Cell was going to be defeat, by Future Trunks. Any second now. And then they could stop running. Rest at one of these islands. Look at each other. Speak to each other. They would be alone, and forced to interact. Of course, it would be awkward. Stilted. 'You okay?' 'I'm fine.' 'Uh. Good.'

No, he'd wait to express relief over her being okay. Play it cool. 'Fine.' Look intense, keep his gaze towards where Cell was. Focused. I am focused on our problem, our green scary problem. Not the gorgeous woman I am in love with standing right there. She'll be worried, too. Afraid for that big android they had to leave behind. Her friend, her last friend, since her boyfriend had been eaten by Cell.

Had to act calm and collected. Definitely. Not ask if she was single and ready to date again, Kami, he could never ask that. Just be her supportive friend. That had never worked in the past for getting a date, but really, she was Juuhachigou. Android Number Eighteen. They were supposed to be enemies, and she was far too pretty to look at him twice, kiss or not. Sworn enemies. Why would she go for a short bald guy rather than some male supermodel?

Her friend. 'Hey, thanks for not killing me.'

'Sure. No problem.'

In time, maybe, he could actually voice what he thought of her. 'Yeah, so, I've had feelings for you ever since that dumb little kiss.'

Nope. Not even that. Krillin hadn't even told Bulma about his own pathetic thing for her. Stunted and misshapen from being hidden for so long. Just like the blue-haired woman, Juuhachigou was way too much for a guy like him. Even meaner, too, and stronger and crueler. Less likely to laugh off any attempt at getting closer.

She was alive, and safe, and-

Juuhachigou? Krillin just about broke his neck looking around in every direction for her.

-Where the hell was she?

"Juuhachigou?"

**272. ****I've got a non-stop-whole in my head-imagination **

Alright, she'd known it existed. No way did Krillin not have any, not after living so long on this island that reeked of desperation and had literally piles of magazines and videos downstairs. Krillin was just more discreet than the old man. The old man who'd _ruined_ her short, sweet _ex-monk_ by making him a pervert.

He'd grown up with no possessions, growing up meditating and getting wedgied by the older boys, and hoeing beans. Not a single worldly object; even his clothes were property of the temple. Since laws of decency prohibited a temple in East City filled with a bunch of naked bald men, they were allowed to own that and the land. No stacks of porn. Or thinking about women, really, that was frowned upon.

Krillin had explained all this while washing dishes or darning socks or sweeping the floor. Bits and pieces. His supposed Master had been surprised. "You usually never talk about Orin Temple."

"Eh, Juuhachigou was asking questions. About the weather there, how hot it got, what clothes we had to wear. How I was picked on."

Krillin just smiles over whatever he was sowing while Roshi turned to the blank android. As though he could sense her creeping interest in imagining a sweaty Krillin in tan pants and nothing else. Getting frowns from a renowned perv didn't make her feel any better about occasionally sleeping in the guest bedroom/attic/Krillin's room. Always, of course, when he wasn't there. Sleeping in the bed. The same bed she was. Since he _had_ slept once or twice on the floor (sometimes with her next to him, but untouching), or in a small cot at the foot of the bed. Like a dog. One that she could even pet, when the mood struck her, and make his leg kick.

No more. Not after seeing all these magazines. And books. _Romantic_ books. He had romance novels, and somehow, that was even worse.

…so many of the women were blonde. It was watching a trail lead back towards yourself. What if she just pulled the nails out of a board and hid a bunch of magazines featuring naked short men with stupid dots on their forehead. But of course no one wanted to see that. Not enough to justify a publication. So she should just leave his hiding place open, exposed. So he'll walk in, all chipper, and then see it and be horrified. Eyes bulging. 'I can explain!'

Probably blame Oolong for this; they all did.

She should maybe just hide this, then. Rather than deal with the embarrassment, his stuttering, him looking like he wanted to jump off a bridge. And to bring forth that issue they both danced around. Pretend his looks and her stares were really nothing, that she couldn't feel his longing from across the house like a grease fire. Pretend that she definitely hadn't played footsie with him under the table, smirking as he squirmed and tried not to laugh. Pretending that she definitely would any day now pull him into his own bed for them to finally share.

**273. ****You never answer on the phone**

Her boyfriend, for lack of a more appropriate word, might have been avoiding her. After having sex six and a half times, nerve-bitingly awkward and lip-bitingly satisfying, with him no longer crying after the second and three quarters time, and on the fourth time she'd given up and agreed to let him sleep in her bed (with her still in it), Krillin could no longer called her toy. At least, he couldn't be referred to as such with so much blasé.

And yet, here was her affectionate boyfriend who would wake her up with a kiss and a cup of coffee and an annoying ruffle of her hair, gone.

Ducking away from her at Bulma's party, not being around when she came to check on him, his friends and roommate's all somehow becoming blind/deaf/dumb when questioned, not even picking up when she dialed Kame House at a payphone near to where she was staying. Like he could feel her frustration through the phone lines.

Since she couldn't sense his ki, it was surprisingly hard to find his stupid shiny head.

The blonde woman had to wait, hiding behind his chimney, for him to get home. Then wait until the lights had gone out in his little room. Then yank up the window and throw herself inside before he got away. Leap onto his bed and onto his legs to stop him from getting up.

"Where the hell were you?"

"What are you doing? I told you." Krillin practically tried shoving her away. "This is not what I consider foreplay."

"Shut up. Where have you been?"

"Um. Juuhachigou. Look, I'm not really in the mood. Could you get off?"

Something about that last line really set off. After all the times he had gotten her…and now, not liking her being on top of him. What had happened? She had tried her best to at least not make him miserable, all the time. Surely that counted for something. She'd tried. And now he was backing down and trying to squirm away, pretend everything was normal, and then disappear again. "You're the worst boyfriend!"

"What? I am not—wait. Boyfriend?"

"You know. You know what I meant. Boyfriend. Sex toy. Person that takes me shopping. Whichever."

"Whichever? Wow. I thought that I was the one getting overly attached—not that you are. You are appropriately attached. Attached an appropriate amount."

"You're supposedly madly in love with me, and yet you've been avoiding me?"

Beneath her, Krillin was perfectly still. "I never said—I thought it was best. To distance myself. The last time I was in a relationship, honey, I got hurt. Badly. I didn't want to make any hasty judgments. Like proposing. Or saying that I love you."

The last words practically turned to mush in his mouth, and made her flinch away.

Crap. What Pandora's Box had she opened? It would have been better to just jump into this bed, kiss him, and pretend like nothing had happened. Next he'd start proposing to her, complete with a ring, and then say that they should get started on trying for a couple kids, maybe a set of twins?

"'Honey'?"

He stared right back at her. "'Sexy toy'?"

**274. ****I'm Utterly Depraved; Let's Do It On Your Terrace**

They'd rolled off the roof, balanced precariously on the overhanging front, fell onto the white washed porch, broke the screen door hard enough for it to crash into the living room, and then rolled off the boards onto the sand. Her pants were visibly hanging off a cheerfully waving palm tree, and his were probably on the…nope, there they went fluttering down to land in the ocean.

"Ow."

"You have the best ideas."

**275. What's under my bed?**

It was Spring Cleaning time, and Juuhachigou had thrown her hands up and stomped from the house because she refused to do her part. Even though no one else was helping Krillin, so it was down to the two of them to fix the house up-then it was only up to_ him_.

"Do whatever you want!" The blonde had finally screamed, her words and volume making the other housemates stare at them through the window and out onto the beach. "Just leave _me alone_!"

He made a face, and opened Juuhachigou's room. As always, taking a second to wait for a crossbow to nail him, or a trap of some other kind to go off. Then just enjoying being in the same room that Juuhachigou spent so much time in, slept in even, right there. On that bed. And now he, Krillin short if-no-longer-bald ex-monk girlfriendless weakling, was here.

He gathered up a jacket she'd carelessly thrown on the bed and hung it up. Then cleaned the desk by gathered up the CDs and tapes and lining them up. Feeling dizzy from the transference of touch, that Juuhachigou had put her hands on these and now that he was touching them, he was therefore—that was just_ sad_. Krillin sighed. How come love, such a wonderful thing that helped him personally get through something as terrible as losing his best friend, came with such awful other components? The sleaziness that was associated with the lust that came hand in hand with his love, how he could adore her perfect body and want to do such awful things to and with it. Awful, wonderful, brain-numbingly amazing things that they both, in theory, would have enjoyed if not for the fact that Juuhachigou made her antipathy of him clear. _Love her mouth, the gorgeous shape of it, that pink color, it was incredible to even get a kiss on the cheek_—then he was busy shoving his own less pretty lips against them and ruining the view. Her being a faultless innocent angel, and her being positively a devilish nymph in bed. Pitiful.

Straightened the books on the shelf, the ones she read out of boredom, and a need to criticize others. Shoving a page into his face, 'Look at this. Look at this crap. How can you say this is one of your favorite books?'

Krillin ran a broom against the floor, noticing that this was the second cleanest bedroom in the entire house. Just behind his own, and the tiny private bathroom upstairs that Juuhachigou commandeered. Why couldn't the others follow her example?

He was sweeping up beside her bed, wondering if she'd be super-pissed or just mad if he fluffed her pillow. Then shoving the broom under further for dust bunnies, and feeling something solid under there, a crinkle of paper, as the broom caught on something under the bed.

Sighing, Krillin bent over to shove it further. Oh, god, magazines. _Dirty _magazines. One of the perverted roommates she was so annoyed with had just left this under there. Poor Juuhachigou, sleeping unnoticed on top of this crap. The ex-monk shook his head, exasperated. Did they know to throw this stuff up in the attic, or at least keep it downstairs and away from their guests?

And it was weird stuff too, or really on the nose, _and_ weird. Giving her stuff on muscle men, like she have to deal with Krillin training out on the beach and clearly visible from her window, to her mumbling complaints that he should put a shirt on, a policy she'd let thankfully slip as the summer neared. Just making fun of her for being a fighter and for even sparring with Krillin.

Plus the magazines on blonde women, as though she wasn't creeped out by the fetishism. He was so ashamed of what his roommates had done, that he didn't even flip through that one, despite his new interest in pale hair as opposed to his previous attraction to more exotic women.

_Bald_ men, someone specifically made things just featuring bald guys? Them posing, heads shining right in the specially placed light. Bizarre stuff.

Hah, someone had made a porno about Buddhist monks? Boy, that was familiar. Krillin thumbed the side of the movie, amused by the familiar orange clothes and shaved heads, and at the promise of seeing them 'let lose in the city to discover the temptation of women.' As though they hadn't had a strict code of celibacy for training, and not just because they couldn't find any girls at the temple.

Krillin did a double-take at the periodicals and tapes on his lap.

He could only vaguely feel his face scrunching as he processed this.

…this was just an elaborate joke at their expense. Yeah. They'd known about Krillin's crush, from hearing him going on about this new woman in his life, one that he'd repeated over and over again how amazing she was, that she didn't like him back, but it was okay, because she was out there somewhere, and okay. Hopefully.

"Sure, son. Sure. Here, take this tissue. It's okay; if she can't see what a nice boy she is, then she doesn't deserve you." How grateful he'd been to have his Master there to offer a comforting word and shoulder to weep on.

Right after she'd moved in, Oolong and Master Roshi had slipped this under her bed. Made perfect sense. Those jerks. Thank Dende that she hadn't seen this, or she'd completely freak out and actually throw them through the roof like she'd threatened this morning. And then come after him. Then leave forever.

As though things weren't tense enough between them, Juuhachigou so distant and afraid to even be his friend, without adding suggestive porn to the mix. Actually scared of him, and his kindness, scared to care for someone besides her twin. Sure that he just wanted to use her, that he only thought of her as some sex object, that he wanted to see her stripped naked like the women in this stuff. Not a real person, just some pretty toy.

He swallowed, gathering the movies and magazines into a pile, feeling his ki spike hard enough to make nearby objects shake as he hurried downstairs.

"Hey, Kri—" Oolong take another glance at him, mouth falling open. Followed by Master Roshi. The fighter had no idea what he looked like exactly, but guessed it must have been pretty scary to make the old turtle hermit go pale.

"Man, you look like you're about to go Super Saiyan."

Krillin shoved the things in front of their faces. "What is_ this_?"

"Um. Porn?" There was a glance over the large red sunglasses.

"So what? It's everywhere here." Oolong was proving that pigs could indeed sweat.

"I found it under Juuhachigou's bed!" He could definitely feel his hair beginning to clump and stick up. A recent decision to grow it out in hopes he might look more attractive that he was now regretting. It felt strange to have it spiking upward. If he'd been as blonde as Juuhachigou, as the women in that magazine, he might have seen what they'd been saying about him looking like a Saiyan.

"Oh. What?" The two just stared at him, then at the stuff he held in one whitening fist.

"Don't act like you don't know what this is about. You two put that _under there_." Krillin waved the handful of porn under their noses, making the two flinch back. "Do you have any idea what you did? How freaked out she'd be to find this? Like her life's not already hard enough to deal with, with you guys always making comments about her being hot? _Just leave her alone_!"

His voice was coming out a hiss of rage, a tone he didn't even think he'd possessed.

"Krillin, I swear, we didn't give her any of that." His Master held up a hand, looking sincere. "I swear it on my honor as a martial artist."

"Oh, please, like you don't oogle her every chance you get!"

"I may look, but I haven't even tried any of my many charms on her."

Oolong was still cowering besides him on the couch. "Yeah. We've been nice. Haven't even taken any of her underwear. Look, look, we're not going to piss off the scary android that beat _Vegeta _up."

"…you didn't leave this? You _swear_?"

"I promise you, as your Master, I didn't give that Juuhachigou girl you like any of that."

"Really, we wouldn't give her our hard-earned magazines. She'd just destroy them."

His jaw tensed, loosened, as he went over what they'd said. Yeah, they weren't ones to waste dirty magazines and movies. And Juuhachigou had caught Master Roshi reaching for her ass once, and had quickly put an end to that, whispering something so horrific to him that it made his expression now look peaceful.

"Okay. Okay." Krillin stood up, still lost in a fog. He ignored the sound of the others as he trudged upstairs to slide the stuff under her bed.

Then he remained there, crouched by the side of it, forehead creased. If_ they_ hadn't put this here, and_ he_ definitely hadn't, and _Turtle_ would never have done such a thing even if he didn't have such a problem with stairs…then _who'd_ put this under here? Through simple process of elimination, that really only left Juuhachigou.

A low laugh escaped his dry mouth.

But that was insane. This clearly hinted at an attraction towards…his type. Towards him liking her in return. All barely subtext. It only lacked actually drawings of them having sex.

Krillin lifted the comforter again. Nope. Nothing else under there.

He settled for sliding everything under there, hoping that he'd organized it the right way. If she had left this, for whatever reason that he couldn't focus on, then she wouldn't have appreciated him knowing about it. His thumb traced over a curled corner to the muscle-men periodical. Or maybe she would, and that's why she'd been so okay with him cleaning her room?

When he left the room after flicking off the light, he was smiling.

It was the hardest thing in the world not to grin deviously at her through dinner.


	12. 276 thru 300

And love is a tired symphony

You hum when you're awake

And love is a crying baby

Mama warned you not to shake

And love's the best sensation

Hiding in the lion's mane

So I'll clear the road, the gravel

And the thornbush in your path

That burns a scented oil

That I'll drip into your bath

The water's there to warm you

And the earth is warmer when you laugh

And love is the scene I render

When you catch me wide awake

And love is the dream you enter

Though I shake and shake and shake you

And love is the best endeavor

Waiting in the lion's mane

Lion's Mane, Iron & Wine

**Author's note:**

**In which Juuhachigou experiences love sickness, and the others find out repeatedly about her and Krillin's relationship, and have to comment on it, Cell chasing Juuhachigou is used as an excuse for her to get closer to Krillin, Bulma has more cameos than normal, and Krillin learns that he can party harder than the androids.**

**Also, the next couple of chapters are already written, so I should be able to update sooner than before.  
**

* * *

**276. Come What May**

After retching for the fifth time that day, the android was willing to admit that something might be wrong. By then, she'd come to grips with what was happening, accepted and understood. After all this, a stomach virus was what was going to do her in. Probably caught from visiting the Sons, and having to help Krillin take care of the recently sickened three. They were to blame.

"My stomach. I may be dying."

Please let it come soon. She'd had enough of this particular cage.

Krillin was taking this opportunity, taking opportunity of her weakened state, to show how _caring_ he was. You need some water, sure, oh, you need to kick me, well, alright, let me get you a damp washcloth for your forehead though. Then running back in with it, okay, go ahead, if it makes you feel better.

Only then she was too busy writhing on the bed. Pulling him beneath the sheets as her temperature plummeted to use as a rough chewtoy only alleviated some of the pain. Trying to fight him into the mattress only helped with some of the stress. Even after he'd wandered out of the comforter to stumble into a wall, Juuhachigou still couldn't take her mind off how goddamn hot it now was and fuck, she was going to puke again. Juuhachigou wasn't even wearing anything more than a light shirt and Krillin's underwear, and couldn't care about that either. Let him ogle; she would have her revenge later.

The cyborg had wanted to mend a small fence or two, just so that they wouldn't come to kill her. Now all she wanted was for Vegeta or Piccolo to be here so she could taunt them into finally destroying her.

"This is your fault."

"I thought you'd be fine. Here, have some more orange juice. Also, can you go easy with the biting? Just a little."

The pulp. The disgusting pulp. "Get that away from me."

Krillin set the glass back onto her bedside table. "Sorry. Do you want to wrestle some more?"

"I want you to gather the dragonballs, and wish that bomb back into me. Then I will self-destruct, and this will all be over."

"Hey, hey, if I did that, I could just wish for you to get better. Bet the Eternal Dragon can clear up illness. Really, you'll be okay. And there's no way I could allow you to use that bomb. Sorry. I'd stop you, somehow. Throw myself in front of you. I know you'd never hurt me.

"Aside from the biting.

"But that was okay too. Not too bad. The marks will be hard to explain, but oh well. Worth it, if it made you feel better. But I saved you from Cell, and from Vegeta, who, you know, wanted me to kill you after Cell spat you out. He wanted to kill you. And maybe Future Trunks did too.

"Are you still awake? I guess I'll just let you sleep then. Heh, I can't believe they wanted to hurt you. Just look at you, lying there like that. You look so adorable. So peaceful, how could anyone want to hurt you? Really, who could destroy someone so beautiful?

"You know, I don't even care if you were an android who had tried to kill my friends. It doesn't matter. And no just because you were rolling around with me in basically very little. Before all that. I knew before I even knew you. You were just scared and hurt, and I won't let anyone hurt you, even yourself. I couldn't use that remote on you. No matter what happened. Even though I told myself I had to use it, there was no option…You really changed my life. For the better. Regardless of whatever happened, I'm so happy to have met you. And that I didn't use that controller."

"Krillin. I am still awake. Shut up."

"I still don't care if you heard or not."

**277. Any Fool Could See How I Adore You**

"This is the best shrimp I've ever had."

"Really, have you tried it with the tartar sauce?"

"That's just _swell_…are we even going to address the giant elephant in the room?"

The Saiyan looked over his shoulders.

"I mean. _Her_." Bulma's eyes flashed towards the corner of the backyard. Her presence had even driven Vegeta closer to the rest of them, to avoid the machine. Future Trunks was also avoiding her, in-between the glares.

Only poor dear, stupid, stupid Krillin was hanging around her. He in fact was the very reason she was even there. The little guy was trying to get her to taste the shrimp.

"We should help Krillin." Her son, future or otherwise, was always so helpful. Always knew when to side with his genius mother.

The old hermit leaned forward, sounding tired. "Get him a girlfriend? Because I've tried that. We took him to every strip club East of West City. Or tried to anyway. He's got his heart set on Juuhachigou. Like, making Valentines-with-glitter-in-the-shape-of-a-heart into her."

Oolong was finishing another turkey hotdog, not noticing the mustard on his snout. "Poor kid."

"Well, if we don't separate them, he's going to get too attached. Like those baby monkeys with the bottles that resemble their mothers."

Vegeta gave her a disturbed glare.

"We'll find him someone nice. Someone actually nice. And human. Or at least less destructive."

"She's not blowing him up now," Chi-Chi offered, balancing her plate on that expanding stomach. Now neither Goku nor Krillin would get a chance to see that baby because of what Gero had created. There she sat, haughtily, as though she belonged there on that bench besides one of Bulma's oldest friends, the one she could depend to be a predictable dork who was so unfortunately awkward with women.

…except for that one over there, eating shrimp from his hand _and sucking briefly on his fingers_. Staring at him,_ teasingly_.

"Oh,_ gross_!"

"Ew."

"Told you it was good shrimp."

**278. Always A Bridesmaid**

"That is not that funny, Juuhachigou."

She was too busy trying not to drop her wine glass. Thankfully, in this huge crowd of a reception, the android was likely to go unnoticed. Just avoid the bride and groom. And this shrimp's other friends. Some of them hadn't ever met her, but most likely had her description from the ones that had, and really, if anyone besides Krillin saw her here, they would finish what Piccolo and then Cell had started.

There were baby breathes everywhere. Ridiculous. And the lilac was sickening. She needed another whiskey sour to deal with all this. Plus her dress was a little too relaxed for all this, just a simple sundress with a sash around the waist.

Also nice: Krillin was there to buy her one since this wasn't an open bar.

Also ridiculous: this wasn't an open bar.

Like the billionaire couldn't spring for it. Sure, there were lots of people, but alcohol without a wedding, or the other way around, was just. The radiant, if strange and unlucky woman, was gathering others. If it wasn't for their smiles and lack of pitchforks, Juuhachigou might have thought they were going to come after her for revenge.

"Krillin."

"There wasn't any bridesmaids, even. Or grooms. It was a strange wedding, even for those two. Almost awkward. You know," Krillin thoughtfully told his tumbler of what was either a dark wine or purple soda. "I think she sprung the entire thing on Vegeta. Without telling him beforehand. He looked so confused during the ceremony. Which was short. And those vows…"

"Krillin, what are they doing? Ugh. Why's he doing that to her garter belt? We don't need to see this."

"Can't believe she got him into that suit. They kinda look cute, laughing. That won't last."

"Is she going to hit him with that bouquet? What's she yelling about now? Why's he yelling? He wants to leave—just _go_ then Vegeta." Juuhachigou flapped a pale hand in his angry direction.

And in return, the woman threw the objects in her hand towards the bar. The handful of flowers landed and then slid off Krillin's shiny head to finally stop on the counter in a cascade of pale purple petals. And the tossed garter belt ended up in her drink, to Juuhachigou's outrage and disgust. Giving into a sigh, the cyborg nearly slammed her glass next to the short fighter.

Krillin's face was blank, eyes going from the flowers to the frilly object in her drink. Her own gaze turned horrified. Even for an android programmed for nothing more than destruction and revenge, she knew damn well what these were supposed to mean.

"_You two are next_!" The Briefs woman had gypsy-cursed in their direction, as everyone turned to look at them. Everyone.

For a regular human, though, she did have pretty good aim.

**279. What My Unravel, I'll Soon Be Naked. Lying On The Floor, I've Come Undone.**

The excuses, and lies, would disgust them all for the last time. No more would they see the shadow of bruises around his wrists and neck or on top of his head, the careful tug downward of his clothes, the uneasy smiles. She'd gone too far, hurting their friend like that.

Together, Yamcha and Bulma conferred their findings, and went to the Sons. If Goku had been alive, this never would have happened. If Krillin had just used that remote…but it was hard to blame him for anything. Not after learning what was happening in his life, what he'd brought into his home and fell in love with.

Gohan was there, still too young to understand their trepidation, but the only one definitely strong enough to kill the android. He was there for backup, alongside Piccolo. Who also didn't fully understand the details beyond that the female android was living here, and harming Krillin just about every day. 'You could hear them fighting from downstairs,' Oolong had informed his friends. 'They're up there a lot, making some racket. Always yelling crazy stuff. They're like that couple from the movie '_Bug_', only less charming.'

Oh, sure, Krillin, you fell down the stairs.

"They're in there." Up the stairs he'd supposedly fallen down.

Once again, Krillin had gotten in over his head. He was too vulnerable for things like this. Those androids weren't to be trusted, just as Future Trunks and later Vegeta had warned the rest of them about. But their short friend had a hero complex, and thought he could rehabilitate Juuhachigou.

"Watch yourself," was the turtle hermit's final call as Yamcha and Bulma and Gohan headed upward.

And you could indeed hear them from the hallway.

Krillin's voice, low. "You like that?"

For the first time, Bulma heard the android's voice. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

Yamcha was raising his hand, holding Piccolo and Gohan back. "Wait. Wait."

"Wait why? Get it together, Yamcha. " The scientist tore open the door without any more whining.

The two of them nearly jackknifed off the bed. Grabbing for the sheets, for clothes, for something to hide the horrible sight of them messing around naked. Thankfully the supposed woman had let go of his wrists so they'd be able to move. "Get the hell out of here!"

"Oh my god! Are those what those stupid marks are from!?"

"What marks? Oh." Krillin caught sight of his bruises. "Yeah. She gets a little—"

"Krillin! Oh, for god's sake, even the kid's here. And the Namek."

"I mean, we both get sometimes a little carried away. It's okay you guys. It doesn't hurt that much. It's worth it." Then he was kissing his bemused android. "You're lucky you don't bruise easily, Juu."

The scarred bandit got over his fear and disbelief to start laughing, almost falling over into the wall. Giggling like a moron. The blue-haired woman wanted to shake him to death for leading her into this. Then go kill the old man and the pig for this. Then make another controller to shut that android down, finally, before killing Krillin for smiling at this moment.

"Oh my god!" Bulma screamed again, trying to understand. Trying to wipe her mind clean at the same time. "You weren't even getting beaten up! Fuck. This is disgusting. At least invest in some restraints that won't leave bruises!"

So much terrible information she'd have to bury beneath a gallon of whiskey. And for fuck's sake, these two idiots didn't even know about proper—no. Just _no_.

Yamcha was still laughing, even as he led Piccolo and Gohan away.

"Were they fighting?"

"Yeah, Mister Piccolo, that's exactly what they were doing."

The first time Bulma heard the android talking to her, the blonde was asking if they really did sell stuff like that.

**280. I Took Your Boyfriend, And Then I Stole Your Clothes**

His mind was still processing what had happened, the smirk and jeanned hips and mouth against his cheek, brain spasming, when he heard the other android laugh. The big one still had the vague smile carved onto his giant face, but the shorter somehow scarier android was cracking a grin.

Laughing at him getting some kiss by the other machine. _Juuhachigou_, his mind threw out. Sort of slid around his head, tying itself around his nervous system. Huh, he wasn't even blushing until the boy android had begun laughing. Making fun of him, that's all they were doing.

Now he felt ashamed, beneath the fear. He couldn't even look at them. Krillin hadn't been able to fight, to help his friends, and now the machines were rubbing his face in it before going to kill Goku.

Then the male android was coming nearer, with the same straight nose and smirk of Juuhachigou. Hands on his hips. Coming way too close. They also had matching pale blue eyes.

This time, he couldn't keep in a louder squeal of fear at the second kiss bestowed by an android.

"Juunanagou!"

"I did see him first."

**281. The Questions Isn't If, But We**

"I thought the androids were…cold? Mechanical? Emotionless?"

"That's a filthy lie. Juuhachigou definitely has emotions."

"Yeah. She just yelled at you to leave her alone."

"_Confusing_ emotions. She's the one bothering me. Don't look at me like that, Bulma. I don't even know where she lives."

"I guess she doesn't want to see you anymore. You don't really seem all that heartbroken."

"She'll be back. She always comes back." It was almost disturbing to watch Krillin lean back, beer in hand, smiling.

"I've never seen you so smug. I have to meet this woman."

"You should. You totally should! Everyone should. Like, during a party! Except I don't think she'd show up for that. I'll have to surprise her with one."

"You really think it's a good idea to spring a surprise party onto a half-crazy android? Who killed just about everyone in the future timeline? Who beat up Vegeta, just a few months ago?"

"Juuhachigou is not half-crazy."

"She's dating you."

"So, fully crazy then."

"Completely. Just invite her over here. And how the hell did you even convince her to date you? And speaking of which, whatever happened to that remote controller I gave you? God, _Krillin_."

"Well, I couldn't shut her down! You saw her; I had no chance."

"And now you're sleeping with her. Wow. I hope it was worth it, Krillin…Actually, maybe it was."

**282. I Don't Want To Have Fun; I've Had Fun, It Sucks. I Just Wanna Lie In The Dark, With You**

"Juuhachi, you've already taken…probably all of his money. What more do you want, his soul?"

She leaned back in the chair, smiling past the smoke of her cigar and the lousy paint job she'd done in this room. "_Perhaps_."

"Just leave him alone before he calls his friends over." Juunanagou was full of such wonderful advice. Like 'hey, let's grab this ugly van,' 'that bug guy's not going to be a problem,' 'I think this apartment would be nice. Paperwork? Don't worry about it,' and 'use a bigger brush so you can actually paint the room' and 'stop stalking that pathetic monk.'

"He's the one bothering me."

"We both know that's not true. He doesn't have the spine to hit a fly."

"Funny. He seems capable of hitting on me enough."

"We both know that's also not true. You went to him, bored, I assume. And flirted with the poor bald bastard."

"He's working on that. The bald thing."

"Your influence?"

"I might have mentioned a thing or two. He'd look better with hair. Anyone could have told him that."

"Forget about him. Leave him alone. Let's go rob a bank, or a store. Or something. Anything. Just away from that shrimp."

"I'm sick of that juvenile garbage. So we steal from some banks, and then what? Hit the bars, go to the zoo, drunk, and then to the clothing store hung over? Again? What's the point? Of any of this? Living in this apartment, doing this half-assed rebellion thing, like anyone cares. None of this even matters anymore. I'm sick of living like this.

"…do you think if we did rob a store, he'd show up?"

**283. One Kiss From You and I'm Drunk on Your Porch**

There was nothing more pathetic than the bottom she was currently sinking towards. Crawled beneath. Literally curled up here, outside his door, waiting for him. The Sun, the black hole of her life. He made her laugh, was the most damning of it all. For all her misery, this was the happiest she'd ever been.

Krillin had been washing the windows, and that had undone her. Finally, she'd pushed the subject of whatever this way, physically speaking. Had hugged him, touched his forehead with her nose. He'd been trembling, more so than usual. "Juu_hachi_." It had taken her a while to realize he wasn't afraid that she would beat him into several smaller pieces. His kiss had come only after she'd separated herself from him.

That white smile. Stepping forward in those stupid purple sandals, and goddamn that terror and hope had mingled to drunken slip her up by having her just stand there as he moved closer. "Good night."

The floorboards beneath her head were becoming uncomfortable.

It was four in the morning, and Krillin wouldn't awake until six. Going to his room was an impossibility. The old man, the talking pig, the talking turtle, they could all come out here at any moment and find her lying here like a coma patient. Staring upward at nothing and listening for any movement on the top floor, to the right.

Fuck her life.

**284. Here's Some Time To Kick You When You're Down**

It wasn't enough that she had lost her twin brother, her other half. Nor that a big creature had eaten Juunanagou, taking him away from her forever, and that this monster was coming after her. That the only other person on the planet she could trust was now injured and hiding besides her was also another cause for misery.

All this that now made up her life. Her power stolen away, again. Hiding like an animal, like the chattering squirrels that were on this island as well. Cowering, because she was so weak, as pathetic as the vermin in the trees and below. She could remember holding one of those squirrels, its face oddly calm despite her having a millions times enough strength in her hands to crush it to a fine powder. Trusting.

Juurokugou had said that their feelings sometimes conflicted with their programming after she'd expressed the idea that perhaps she was going crazy. Saving that stupid squirrel. Meaningless. Another empty gesture that she couldn't understand. It was in Juurokugou to smile at pathetic animals.

He had his pets, and she apparently had her own now.

Krillin was crouching alongside them, amused and bemused as he looked at the huge green-clad android. Her going insane would explain why he was there. Her programming told her to break his neck, this friend of Goku. His big grin and bald head shining in the sun, turned nervous towards her. Trying to find something to say to defend himself. 'I broke the remote so you can't have a quick death. Isn't that swell of me?' As though that was less frightening than being eaten by Cell.

Krillin had been looking for some form of penance. Helping her drag Juurokugou to his feet, alongside her. Helping them get away. Trying to save the day for them, rather than from them. He had that sickening paternal instinct to protect that all these Earth heroes did. A weakness for attractive women that Gero had documented, and who knew, might have held some part in why he'd chosen her. Some other reason besides his fascination with bonds between twins.

How easily they would understand each other. Had understood each other.

If only the other fighters had showed up earlier, if only her brother were here to make his wisecracks and smirk. The third person trapped here should have had dark hair and the same eyes as her.

This man had played some role in her reconstruction to fit Gero's revenge. He had no right to look relieved when they'd gotten away, to ask her if she was alright, to have shown up with that remote and that look of anger. Then to, to stare at her with that black velvet gaze as a deer might have. _'Nice day, isn't it?' _Juuhachigou was still having a hard time looking away from him, despite all that.

There were bunnies crawling on Juurokugou. Again. And Krillin was trying to pet them, only to only be bitten in return.

**285. Oh, what did I say, she's all shook up**

Krillin in those swimming shorts was a confusing sight. Just in those swimming shorts. She'd never seen so much of his pale, sunburned skin. Rounded muscles. Juuhachigou really wished she didn't enjoy seeing his legs in those shorts. Her words were used for a distraction, thinking of something cold and relaxing. Krillin had answered her question without thinking about it much. "Yeah, so, in the future timeline, you and Juunanagou murdered everyone."

"Wha—how? How do you know that? And what does that have to do with the purple-haired boy?"

"He's from the future. Hey, you missed a spot of lotion on your back."

It felt way too nice to hold his wrist, too. Maybe it would have been better just to deal with him rubbing her back. Fingers brushing against the fabric of her swimming suit, maybe threatening to touch the knot that held up her top. That's all she needed; for him to see her half-naked. That would really help both of them a lot. "Knock it off."

"So, yeah, in the future, you and your brother were unrepentant murderers. Killed _a lot_ of people."

"How, why? We only went after Goku. And your friends. And you, a little."

"Aw, you didn't do anything to me. Or to Goku. Or anyone else."

"Not in terms of beating you up. But I did tease you a little."

"Yeah. You did."

"But no one was murdered. Probably. I think that truck driver was okay."

"Yeah. But Future Trunks (that's what we call him), he came back in time and told us in three years, some scary androids would show up and destroy everything and everyone. I had nightmares you know. Everyone else was all ready to train and fight you two."

"Everyone? Really? You died, again?"

"Yes. Probably by your hand. Stop smiling, please."

"Well. I wouldn't do that now. Go on some insane murder spree. But this kid showed up out of nowhere, and told you that he was from the future, and that you were all doomed? You believed him?"

"Future Trunks knew things. He, alas, neglected to mention how cute the girl android was. I was unprepared."

"Stop smiling. Now I'm going to have nightmares."

"It's okay. Sure, we were afraid of you. But we're not now." He patted her hand. "Even when you glare. Like that."

"How can you say that when in the future, I killed you?"

"You haven't killed me now. Aww, Juuhachigou. It's _okay_."

"It isn't. What's wrong with you? I'm some monster, in another timeline. You shouldn't be trying to ask me out."

"I haven't asked you out!"

"Really, is it a condition?"

Krillin was scooting closer, eyes not leaving her face. Their hands were in danger of touching. "I know you're not a monster. You're not that Juuhachigou. You're sweet."

"I am not!"

That hand was way too close to her. Touching her own hand, sliding upward to trace her arm. "You are. Like when you fall asleep on the couch or in the tub (you should really be more careful about that) or when you decide to play Scrabble with me and Gohan and Goten. Or take my clothes. Or sleep in my bed."

Touching her face, thumb on her chin. Tilting her head to look him straight in his own upturned eyes. Sitting, they were nearly the same size. Krillin only had to lean into and twitch upward a little to shove his face into hers.

She pulled away after he had.

"Fuck. You were actually being almost smooth."

**286. Every time She Sneezes, I Believe It's Love**

She was sleeping on his back again, spooning, hands hanging onto him as he struggled to adjust. Fingernails scrapping into his back as she dreamed. Eyelids twitching, mouth open, face as peaceful as when Cell had spat her out. Calm and trusting. Even her nightmares were easing.

"_You're just a dork."_ A _hand on his knee._ _Juuhachigou's smile._

That she could no longer hide behind anger, that she would watch him like a scared child. Krillin was leading her into something that he'd promised to be safe and without any more pain for either of them. His own lies. All of this his own doing, no matter how he might have once blamed her for starting this.

Touching her felt like needles. Oh, god, god. This was going to kill him, he couldn't handle all of this, this thing that brought tears to his eyes, that strangled him and only made every day more torturous. It was much too painful to live with.

If he wasn't in love with Juuhachigou before, he definitely was now.

**287. Catch Me If I'm Falling, Will You Catch Me Cause I'm Falling Down On You**

It was his stupid little comments about the stupid air conditioner being ill that made her roll her eyes, and realized exactly how she felt. It was adorable, and so like Krillin so say something like that. To grin at her, to grin back at her because now she was laughing.

"This is serious. You don't want to be stuck with just a fan out here."

He couldn't fix the air conditioner, but he could distract her with shadow puppets, and point out the star constellations, and gave her the last grape Popsicle in the fridge as the sun further was swept away. And tell her stupid fables and myths until they'd fall asleep on the carpet in the living room, where it was cooler.

In the morning, he'd make breakfast shaped like attempts at animals and then they'd take turns throwing paper airplanes made out pages torn from dirty magazines from in the direction of the fans, seeing whose could go the furthest. Then swimming around the island as the perverts ate the pancakes he'd left for them. Sunning themselves, 'want me to put some lotion on your back,' then sparing until he'd pulled enough muscles for the day, then getting her own ass handed to her during a board game such as Scrabble (even though she had a higher vocabulary than Krillin, and the old pervert was even better at it) and chess. Lunch with him still in his bathing suit, taunts from the hermit about why she wasn't wearing her own, and then watching TV together, arguing for the remote.

Krillin falling asleep during the story about him fighting a vampire that ended with him losing spectacularly and nearly bleeding to death. Curled up on his side, face open, and facing her.

How was she supposed to not enjoy this?

He was charming, gods help her. He was charming her, Dende help them both.

**288. On The DL**

They'd all arrived a little late to the party, a result of the storms just beginning to leave Kame Island. That, and some of them had children to smother in blankets and little sweaters before bringing over. It had been _too long_, the group had complained. We really do have to spend more time together.

With the fresh rain from last night still hanging in the air, they landed almost silently in their aircars. Trunks and Vegeta and Bulma were already screaming at each other, as Goten began wailing for something to eat and Gohan was complaining that he couldn't concentrate on his college prep work before anyone had even finished opening their car doors. But when they had, the group realized that they weren't the only ones late.

They could just stand/sit there and watch Juuhachigou crawling out of the window, struggling to pull her pants and shirt on, and then stand up to fix her hair as Krillin handed the android presumable her bra. And to continue watching her silently as she grabbed the undergarment, turned back around, saw them at the front of the island, and slid off the damp roof to land at their feet.

**289. That's Just Your Feelings; I Wasn't Looking At Her Ass**

If there was one thing he hadn't expected to see in his strange life, it was Maron looking jealous. It took several moments to realize that yes, that was the rare cloud of anger on her face. She was so playful most of the time, something that had always tickled him pink and made his own life light up. Her smiles were contagious.

As were the frowns, he was learning.

Something else he was learning, from his girlfriend. Along with why Yamcha and Bulma and Chi-Chi and Goku fought so much, and why they stuck it out. That love was less paralyzing, less head-over-heels, and less confusing than he'd initially thought, because Krillin could take one look at this pretty girl hanging off his arm and calling him her boyfriend, and know that this was definitely what love felt like. All_ clear_ pride and affection and knowing that he could touch her hand without fear of any pain. That he could touch her and not pass out.

Taking her to the mall, again, was another way of demonstrating his love. Maron loved going there, and he couldn't deny her anything. And of course there were other people there, plenty of other people, that was one of the reasons she liked going there: to show off. Sure, there were women there too, duh. How was he not supposed to look at them? Keep his eyes on the ground? Then he'd walk into people even more, and spill bags all over, and only annoy Maron more.

It wasn't like he'd been leering at that girl. Some girl. Whatever. Some skinny girl that he hadn't even looked at for longer than like five seconds. He hadn't even seen her face, just noticed the clean bright hair and pretty dress.

"Krillin!"

"What?"

"You were totally staring at her!"

"I was not. Who? I mean, who?"

"Humph! I didn't come out here to be ignored. Again!"

"I wasn't looking at anyone. You know there's no girl in the world that can compare to you. And besides, that girl was too sickly looking. Yeah, I just worried she was going to pass out from anemia."

But now he had a girlfriend, and that part of his life was over now. No longer a bachelor anymore. And he was definitely not supposed to check out girls, too skinny and pale or otherwise. What type of boyfriend would he be if he did that?

_I have a girlfriend. What more could I want? A beautiful woman. What else is there?_

**290. I Felt For the First Time What It's Like To Be Alive**

"Oh, Kami, this is it, we're going to die," Krillin whispered, nearly into her ear, her bright hair.

"I'm sorry, Juuhachigou. I should have—"

"Shut up. Just be quiet. I need to think."

There was sweat beading on her forehead.

"I knew I was going to die soon." A strange smile came to his face. For three years. "But it wasn't all that bad. I had some great friends, the best a guy could ask for. I've died twice before. Done things most humans wouldn't have thought possible."

And he'd met her, and somehow fallen in love despite those three years spent alone and attempting to disavow his dream of marriage and a family, swearing to never give his heart so easily. Just a kiss this time did it. Even Maron had taken more. Krillin had to smile at her serious pale face.

"Look. When Cell comes, you run. I'll throw myself in front of him. I can distract him."

"For how long," she demanded.

"As long as you need."

Krillin wanted to touch her hand, to do something. This must have been what knights had felt, kneeling before a princess, begging for a favor.

Juuhachigou's mouth was set in a fine line. "You can't. You wouldn't even work as a distraction."

"We have to do something."

"If you can get to Korin's Tower, to where Kami is…you could hide. The others won't hurt you."

Goku would definitely not hurt an innocent woman, and Gohan would do his best to help protect her as well, even if he was only a little boy; his father's son. She might even like those two, maybe a little, understand that they were good people and not to be harmed. That she couldn't hurt them.

"I just wish. Heh. I just wish there was more time. To better know you. I know, I know you're not a bad person, Juuhachigou."

The snow besides the mountains Gero's lab was sit into was less icy than her voice. "You don't know anything about me."

"Enough. I couldn't use that controller."

"Because you're _weak."_ He could almost smell the electricity in the air as the woman worked herself up. "You were too weak and pathetic. And now we're both going to die because of that monster."

"I know. I'll try whatever I can. All you need is maybe a few minutes head start. Maybe then Trunks will have killed him. Or Goku."

They were nearly huddled there, safe in this hollow where the trees nearly grew into the hillside. Leaves as a shield. One island among not-so-many-anymore.

Three years, Future Trunks had warned them. Then they would fight for their lives. Not exactly a lie, just a message that had gotten jumbled and distorted. At least he would die fighting, on his feet, defending more than just the Earth, more than even his friends, but the woman he loved. Die with her face on his mind, her voice in her ears. There was so much worse than that. For her, he'd throw himself in front of five Cells.

"I'm glad I got to meet you."

"You're going to die when he gets here. You know that, right."

"Yeah. Yeah I do."

There were strands of hair falling into her eyes, on the right side of her face. "Then why are you smiling?"

"It's okay. It's really okay."

"You're fine with dying? That's what you're saying?"

As though she hadn't looked unafraid when he'd showed up with the remote. As though she hadn't _not_ attempted to stop him.

"Sure, there's some stuff I wish I'd done. Like eaten that last grape Popsicle in the freezer. Gotten married and had a couple kids. A serious girlfriend. Um. That sort of stuff." Ah, it was stupid to even think about_ that_, at this moment. At least he didn't know what he'd been missing, would miss. Right in front of Juuhachigou, he was revealing _that_ information. _I don't want to die a virgin. But I've already done so twice, so what's a third? _

"A_ serious_ girlfriend." Now Juuhachigou was smiling. A small smile, but it lit up her face all the same. Sweet. "I suppose virgins are the ones to be sacrificed."

Of course she knew exactly what he'd been thinking of. He couldn't even die with a little dignity. "Oh, that's nice. It just never happened, okay? I feel like that's the least of my problems."

"I guess it is." She was touching his Adam's apple, and he was sure she meant to strangle him. Or puncture his throat. She was going to die looking at his dumb scared face, and clearly knew it. They just looked at each other, lost as children.

"I left Juurokugou behind." Some shamed admission.

"He told you to. There was nothing we could have done. Cell won't, there's no reason why…"

No reason why he wouldn't destroy Juurokugou either.

Every time he swallowed, he could fell her fingers anew. Her other hand was reaching for his head, touching the back of it. Making him shiver, despite his best judgment. In another timeline, she might have crushed his skull in. Whimpering was permitted, in this situation. Although, it was hard to compare this Juuhachigou to a killer version of her he'd never met. Hard to care. About Cell, or her scary boyfriend, or about how long they might have. There was only the blessing of Juuhachigou in his arms, firm, solid and real. She felt very little like his ex-girlfriend, harder and bonier in places that had been soft and rounded with the last woman he'd held. He was thirty years old, and felt much younger.

"It really isn't a big deal. We don't have to do anything."

A pair of thumbs were digging into either side of his jaw. "Just be quiet. Okay?"

"Fine, sure."

Her mouth was warm and dry. Somehow, his hand ended up on her thigh, playing with the watch chain hanging there. Breathing became optional. "Control your ki. Even I can sense it."

"Mm, I_ think_ I can do that."

They tried not to make any noise.

It was funny, to watch her squirm when he kissed her neck. "What, does that tickle?"

"A little," was all she allowed herself to say. "Nice belt. It's like you're wearing a dress. How do I even get you out of this thing?"

She just needed the comfort, they both did. Juuhachigou was definitely human, scared, and, and looked amazing sliding out of that vest. It might not even matter that they weren't even watching for Cell, that they couldn't even remember to be afraid or wonder if they might be visible. Even with death beating down the door, Krillin couldn't remember ever feeling so right with the world and his life.

**291. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have)?**

There was a sickening realization that only made this beautiful, talented, genius want to further bemoan her foolish heart: Krillin had the same heartbroken-puppy expression that she'd been wandering around the streets carrying on her own face. She watched him slumping, dragging his feet past this café. Without thinking, Bulma pounded on the window to catch his attention. Not even Krillin stumbling and turning his head wildly made her feel better.

His wave hello was grim, but he did follow through with her gestures to come inside.

"You too, huh?"

"What?"

"I know that look. You're in love."

His round face was as easily read as a book, today. "Jeez. You heard about that, huh."

"Yep." Although not one of her friends had told her about Krillin having a girlfriend, the bastards. Or at least a new girl to fantasize and plead attention from. Basically the same thing.

"I'm sorry. About not using the remote. But, I just _couldn't_."

Her face was frozen into sympathy, still. Krillin interpreted this as empathy.

"If you met her, you'd know why."

"You let the android get away. Because she was _a girl."_

"Bulma?"

"You bastard!" She threw a handful of rough napkins at his head.

"It's more than that! She was an innocent young woman. Who—nevermind. It doesn't matter. I'm never going to see her again. Let alone…she's definitely not interested." He gave a sick laugh. "I had no chance, android or not."

"Man, I thought you were moping over an actual girl. For a second, I thought we were going to commiserate on our love lives."

"What? What are you talking about? Vegeta—"

"Is a bastard too! That I happen to be falling painfully in love with. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh. Isn't that good, though? With Trunks and all?'

"I don't know. I preferred it when we were roommates that argued all the time over using the shower. Now." She let out a hiss of air between her teeth. "He's all helpful. Annoyingly so. He doesn't help, believe me. But still, he actually goes into the lab, and tries. He gives Trunks his baths. Doesn't just call me 'woman' so much."

Krillin was smiling, a grin that lit up his face. One that maybe if he flashed around girls some more, would have helped his relationship problems. That, and if he grew some hair. Plus got rid of the ridiculous clothes, like the ones he was wearing now. "That's sweet."

"Yeah, yeah. Terribly, sickeningly sweet." Bulma stared down into her mug, and motioned for the waiter to come over. She didn't even have the heart to playfully flirt with the man, cute as he was. Instead she was all business with ordered them both coffee that would be as black and bitter as her mood. At least it was brought over quickly.

"It is. You two are good together, in your destructive way. It's good that Vegeta's settling down, isn't it?"

"Sometimes. I think he might just be depressed."

"Oh."

"When they start to use your real name, then its trouble."

"Huh." His eyes lit up, then his shoulders slumped in. "Not always."

"So she knows your name?" Bulma smiled, then just as quickly, glared at him. "Of course she does. She was programmed to kill you."

"Not necessarily just me. And that's not her fault."

"This supposed girl made her crush the remote."

"There was no way I could use it on her." He shook his head, reaching for a sugar packet. "And what do you mean, supposed?"

Nastily, she informed Krillin, "God knows what Gero did to her."

He went pale. "Poor Juuhachigou. She's definitely a woman, you know, just modified. I never really thought about the exact details."

"I guess Goku's dead anyway."

There was the expected wince. "And it's my fault. I know. Better than anyone, I_ know_."

"It doesn't matter. Oh, hell, I shouldn't have given you that remote. If I'd known the android was a girl, I would have given it to Piccolo or something. Definitely not you. Or Yamcha."

"Not nice." The short man pouted, then smiled a little. "She's really a good person, Bulma. And are you still mad at Yamcha?"

She waved that aside. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. No, no I'm not angry at Yamcha. He's the one babysitting Trunks right now."

"He's a good man." That smile grew. "Gave me some advice, if I ever see Juuhachigou again."

"Oh boy. Well, I guess you're pretty good at dodging, right?"

"It's not that bad. I think I'm getting better with the flirting. Maybe. When I'm near her, I just can't seem to form words." He raised his hands limply, then let them fall back to his side.

"I have the opposite problem with Vegeta. It all wants to come hurdling out, and then what? I don't want to deal with him running off into space again. I don't want to go back into space. Once was bad enough."

"I said I'm sorry about leaving you on Namek alone."

"Yeah, I know. I'm getting an adventure right now here on Earth. Saves some gas, and here I can at least get my hair done."

Krillin lightly punched her shoulder, as he'd do for a guy friend. Which he'd never done for her, and probably wouldn't do for that android female. Then he was frowning at her over the coffee cups neither was much touching. "At least you have a child with the man. Yeah, hey, at least you have a family!"

"That can only complicate things. Make everything worse. You don't know if they're there out of some obligation or not."

"Nah. Not Vegeta. You saw the way he let Gero blow up you and Trunks. Er. Sorry. I mean, Vegeta's not a dutiful guy. He's there because he just wants to be."

"I guess that's true. He's not an easy guy to read. Maybe that's one reason why I like him so much. He's a challenge."

At least he was looking amused again, even if it was over their predicament. "What are we going to do, Bulma? About _them_?"

"Being drunk in a mansion always helps."

Krillin laughed. "Are you offering something stronger than a cappuccino?"

"I think we can both use it."

"Well." He clinked his mug together with hers. "When you tell Vegeta, I'll help you bring him back to Earth."

"Maybe you can bring Juuhachigou on board the ship?"

**292. When I Said I Could Do It All Again, That Was A Lie**

At the least, Krillin knew whose house this was. The couch was unfamiliar, as were the pictures and clothes strewn about, but he did know the people in those snapshots. That, and the stripes and orange bandana thrown nearly into the fire told him who was currently snoring in the back bedroom. Hopefully. At least this time he had pants. And his underwear on.

Of course, his pants were wet from whatever, but this was a better than average wake up. There was cereal and bowls and milk in the kitchen, and the fighter even thought he could keep it down.

The last time, he hadn't even slept at all during the night. Just wandered around East City until the sun rose, bruised, and only in shorts. As in, without the boxers he'd showed up in, and minus a shirt. Left with more money than he'd started off with, and a new clustering of fragmented memories. 'Still hanging around those androids, huh?'

'Yep. Where's the antacids?'

Now he spooned cereal in as the doors opened. One of them the bathroom door. Only the blonde one was wet from presumably a very early/late shower, and that might have been a relief. It made the sunshine creeping through the windows cheerful, rather than blinding. "How are you kids doing?"

The two were technically alive. Juuhachigou collapsed onto the countertop, while her brother flopped onto the couch. They both curled up in matching fetal positions. And when he dragged/carried them to the breakfast table where matching bowls sat waiting, the twins leaned precariously towards and then fell into their cereal the same way.

"Never again," Krillin answered for them.

**293. I think I'm in with this…I think of her since the day we met. I try so hard but I cannot stop. **

Inside the small airship, the air smelled of Gohan's pens that he scribbled his homework with, some medicine that Chi-Chi had forced on Goku's unconscious form ("We could slip him his shots now, too." "And a haircut."), of Yamcha's cologne and of Trunk's fretting that was so unlike his mother.

All of his jokes had run dry, leaving Krillin left to lean against the wall of this yellow aircar and hope for an answer for all of their solutions to come to one of them. Any second. Any second. Now.

At least, Trunks should be coming up with something. Aside from dealing with those androids before, he was Bulma's son, and there was probably some chance plotting was hereditary. There were going to need all the help they could use for those androids. Horrible scary androids with creepy pale blue eyes, and the unsettling tendency to pout.

His head hit the sheet of metal.

Pretty. At least the blonde one was. No, okay, both the brunette and blonde one were pretty. That's why they were…

_You are heartsick over an android. Because she is seeing someone else. _

Krillin could have yanked his own vocal chords out.

_Another murderous android that will kill all of us. And he is way better looking than I am. _

It wasn't as simple as that…but that was part of his problem. That combined with everything else. She was going to try and kill all of them, and she was pretty, and seeing someone else.

Of course they were dating. Why wouldn't they be? Them against the world. Classic. Met a girl, and she had a boyfriend. There were twists, of course, what with them both being machines bent on the destruction of the world, but he'd gone through this disappointment before. Liking a girl that had made eye contact with him-_just_ for basically making eye contact—and then having those hopes crumble down as reality decided to use one of Yamcha's baseball bats on his head.

She wasn't even a woman-

He really wished, in retrospect, that Goku had used that mind trick that allowed him to read memories. If only he'd had some warning, a real warning, about who Juuhachigou was. That the purple-haired warrior had given them a picture so he could make himself immune to pale blue eyes. If there ever grew blue roses, they would be that shade, and they would sprout up after a nuclear holocaust.

But Goku would be awake again, soon. And have a plan at ready. Then, then. They could come up with a plan to defeat those androids. Cold-eyed androids with dark hair that didn't seem to treat their girlfriends with enough respect.

_This will get better. Someone will destroy her, and that will be it. _

_How can I let someone hurt her? _

**294. I Would Never (Have Sex With You)**

His love was a cruel weapon, pointed in her direction, with all the symbolism involved with such a gesture. It left her dry-mouthed and afraid more than any real gun could have. No ducking away mattered. There was always him, standing there, holding flowers or a plate of pancakes, offering to take her out shopping, if she was of course interested.

Never just as a friend, was his subtext.

Yeah, let's get into my car, and we totally won't make out. Or, at least, I won't throw myself at you, in hopes that you might give in to doing something with me. A little. Juuhachigou didn't spent much time around other people, but damn well knew how Krillin's mind worked. At least, in regards to why he kept bothering her.

The issue had to be addressed. Right now. There he was, the sad little shrimp with the huge grin, trying to make her smile. Standing outside there, hoping for some sign of affection to cling to.

"Krillin. What the hell are you doing?"

He was horribly upfront. "I'm trying to charm you?"

"We are not doing this, Krillin!"

"Doing what?"

"Having this discussion." With him outside her window, down below, like something from a romantic play. At least he wasn't preparing to serenade her. That would have gotten them both killed.

"I just wanted to know if you're free or not. For a movie. Dinner included."

Even from a distance, you could tell Krillin was blushing. "I won't do anything, if that's what you're worried about. Try anything. Unless you—no. I don't know what I'm doing Juuhachigou."

If she just flashed him, then maybe he could be convinced to go away?

**295. Should've have known the night I met you, you'd be my doom.**

He just about fell off the barstool when realizing who that short brunette was, sitting there and toying with a straw. Acting like she was any other woman, which, yes, she was. Enough power to destroy the planet, but Krillin was still a woman like any other with too-wide a smile that had disappeared apparently after emptying those other glasses sitting lined up on that dark stained wood like his twin would set up for target practice.

The little moron who'd actually thought that kiss had meant something, and had responded by saving Juuhachigou's life, along with the life of his sister, if only through making sure the others did not harm the androids. All he could do was to drain his beer, and leave before there were any awkward misunderstandings. A coincidence that was not to be repeated.

Really, it was his fault for being stupid enough to go to a bar so close to Capsule Corp.

"How've you been? How's your sister? _Twin_ sister. See, I know that now." Krillin smiled, all proud of herself for picking up on something so obvious.

"I'm _fine_. So is Juunanagou."

"That's good. You're not here to drown any grief, right? Hah, of course not. No, I'll stop now."

Small fingers curling into timid balls, defenseless, despite the callouses and scars. Chipped nails that had been painted some light shade a long time ago. "Um. But really, how are you? Not trying to intrude, just curious, obviously, I'm not trying to get into your life."

"Nothing much."

"You're just here, drinking, at three in the afternoon."

"Well. You were doing the same."

"Got here early for happy hour. Ah, no, I just needed some time to myself. I could leave, you know, if you felt the same."

His face fell from whatever miniscule emotion it had held. All those muscles that Krillin could make go slack—oh, god, why think something like that. "About what? I'm not-not doing anything to you. We've been over that."

"Oh, of course not!" Mouth falling open. "I know you're not that type of guy. That would be interested in a girl like me. Duh."

Juuhachigou couldn't stand how she shrunk in her t-shirt, noseless face pointed downward. "Shut up."

"Sorry. Sor-rry."

"I have to ask." A brief pause. "You're not here to pick up women, right?"

"Of course not. Oh, yeah, I could pick _you_ up, because you're the size of a barstool."

She leaned briefly closer to the blonde android, looking upward. "Well, that's not the _only _reason."

It would have been pathetic to flee out the front door, into the hideous bright light of needles shoved even into his eyes. So he remained there, hoping he looked cool and collected, rather than letting his face show even a flash of what he felt. He was Juuhachigou, the eighteenth of Doctor Gero's creations, once a teenage boy, with a twin sister; he could no longer feel normal emotions without a filter, without a little robotic voice informing him of a heightened blood pressure and elevated heart beat and that his temperature control had been activated.

When he sat down, it was only to intimidate the small fighter, not because of trying to get closer, or a weakened pair of knees or whatever went through Krillin's head to make her smile.

"I don't want to hear that."

"Sorry. I apologize." Hands up, like Juuhachigou was a cop. The cheekiness in that small smile made him want to hurt her.

Twitching hand on the bar, his own turned paler in the dim light, her much too close, turning, blinking a soft eye the color of some poetic nonsense about shadows. "What, what's wrong?" Stuttering, cringing away, trying and failing not to blush.

"You've been a pain ever since you got a hold of that remote."

The grin was too sincere, and made Juuhachigou take a step back. The vague plans of moving closer just to freak her out, gone. "I've been a pain ever since you kissed me."

**296. It's Never Too Late To Get Up and Go**

She was the eighteenth of Gero's creations, the twin sister to Juunanagou, android number Seventeen, and she'd been created for the purpose of revenge against Goku Son, a Saiyan warrior who had defeated the Red Ribbon Army when he was still a boy.

But none of those facts explained why she found herself helping dig up turnips with Krillin behind Goku's home, why she would play Truth and Dare with one of the men she'd been designed to destroy, why she had told him droll stories of her time in that lab (something she'd never thought she'd _speak_ of ever again), why she'd let him pull her into his lap in an attempt to tickle her.

This man who fell so easily when she threw a snowball at him had some strange power over her. Krillin, who acted the fool, who was weak enough not to fight her and her brother on that mountain side and stupid enough to fall in love with her over a teasing kiss.

And what was she, this cyborg that made snow angels with that pathetic mess who made eyes at her that she would fully respond to, who wanted nothing more now to make him laugh.

What exactly did that make her _now_?

**297. Retaliation**

Watching his best friend get his by demon spit, his face twisted with disbelief and disgust, the slow turn to pale gray stone, the weirdness of what he was seeing, the last conscious thought before the others began talking was, '_Kami, Juuhachigou's going to be __**so**__ angry at me!_'

**298. I want to tell you there is a really good reason I came home wasted in the middle of the night **

**A tiny kingdom at the bottom of the trees**

**Where I was always a winner and I was usually right**

Her husband looked a stranger to her for a minute. All angry jawed and narrowed eyes.

Even for someone who was a cyborg, and a new mother, she understand that coming home on Christmas with whiskey on her breathe was a pretty bad thing to do. Even if she hadn't exactly been out on a pub crawl, had instead spent the evening drinking and reminiscing with her twin, this probably wasn't a proud moment for Krillin to write in that annoying diary he had under lock and key in his bottom right desk drawer, under the dirty magazines he'd used as a diversion. ("I should have known…this one's a cooking magazine." "I did actually read that one." "And this gay porn?" "…I do not have to answer that." "You're so strange.")

"Where were you?"

"At my brother's. We had a few drinks. What?" She shrugged out of her jacket, and nearly fell over tossed it onto the couch.

"It's Christmas, and you were out drinking." Krillin had that judgmental look, of raised eyebrows and a creaky nasally voice that could make dogs howl. Not one that he usually directed at her, unless she'd done something insane, like trying to cook a soufflé without him, or informing him that she might be pregnant, or that maybe the recommendation that they should take Bulma up on her offer for fake paperwork that would allow them to get married.

There was a reason why she didn't usually drink. Things normally tethered down were shifted, brought out. Like…shame of disappointing her family. Shame of disappointing loved ones that led to crying.

"Oh god, I'm the worst mother in the world, aren't I?"

"What? No, no of course not. It's not a big deal. It's okay. Forget it."

Now, sniffling, having her husband push her hair away, Juuhachigou understood why Krillin and Marron cried to get out of trouble so much.

**299. That Trip To The Hospital With Your Dad**

It probably wasn't the best way to break it to her adopted father, during a party which he screaming at her brother for throwing, who had offered her a cigar. She'd declined, frantically waving it away. "No, it's not good for the—"

Right then time just about slowed down, but not enough for her to adjust and choose a different word.

The stupidest, worst word in the world in this context: "-_baby_."

Juunanagou had laughed. "What? What baby?"

Her mouth sealed shut. Everything was on her face: the date that ended in the back of her brother's van, lying there dazed and grinning besides Krillin, whose slack face was unable to form words for a good two minutes, his discovery of the broken condom he'd gotten from one of his worthless, idiotic friends, the name withheld out of fear of what she'd do to them, her own confident, 'oh, I'm sure it's fine.'

Juuhachigou, get pregnant? So young, and with her life ahead of her? No, no way was pregnancy in the cards, even if she was older and gainfully employed. She was not the motherly support, as the recent mark on Juunanagou from where she'd attempted to stuff him into the oven would support.

Only then she was puking and realizing that the bra she was wearing shouldn't be chaffing her nipples so raw. Her dumb confusion. And then memory of the cheap-ass condom floated before her mind, like the latest meal she'd vomited back up. She took a pregnancy test, sure still that there was some mistake, pregnancy was for other women, not her, _no way_.

But the plus sign was right there, impossible to mistake. Juuhachigou had thrown up again, just at the sight of it, and then managed to drag this sick, _pregnant_ body to the phone to tell Krillin that they had to talk.

How the relief that she wasn't breaking up with him immediately disappeared when he understood what she _was_ telling him. To give him credit, Krillin kept it together. "It's okay. I have a job. You can still go to school. I can stop going, to you know, save money. Since I have a couple semesters left. You want to get married? No? Oh. Are you having an abortion? You don't know? You should probably figure it out. I can pay for that, you know. Or if you want to keep the baby…?"

Which was a question she still didn't know.

Any of his stupid friends could have given him that dumb condom. Probably Yamcha, who'd egged them onto their first date. Or Goku, who had another kid on the way. Or maybe Vegeta, wanting revenge. She would sometimes think about who had handed him that dumb silvery thing, a cheerful voice 'here you go,' and wonder how many years she'd get for premeditated murder—surely Krillin wouldn't testify against her.

It was insane to go to classes, carrying a child inside her. Teachers would go on about nothing that mattered anymore, because she was _fucking pregnant_. And she still didn't know whether or not to keep it. It was like a part of her thought that someone would correct the mistake, and she'd wake up with everything back to normal, having never been pregnant at all. As probably every woman who'd ever gone through an unexpected pregnancy.

But then, she'd find herself looking at herself in the mirror, with just the tiniest suggestion of added weight in her stomach that Krillin said didn't affect her sexiness at all, right before she punched him. 'It's the hormones, I get it.' And then she didn't entire mind the thought of having a baby, when she was by herself and looking at her stomach and couldn't even hear the TV in the living room blaring on. When it was just her—just _them_. Her and her parasite.

Or with Krillin, when he was being quiet, and pushing his face against her, trying to listen for something. Half of him, even if his contribution and efforts weren't exactly equal to her own. Just the three of them.

"What. You're messing around. You're pregnant? Really? Oh my god, really? Not just fucking around with us."

How her might-as-well-be father had turned, horrified.

Well, he would have figured it out anyway. Since she might be keeping it, and that meant she was going to swell up. Plus, eventually the baby would pop out and begin yelling as it took up space. Gero was just looking at her, looking almost heart broken, and literally shocked, like her brother had stuck a fork in his hand, and then put it in a toaster. Staring at her, and seeing that she was a college student that had shunned his help, who was the reasonable 'good' twin, who was arguably better equipped for life than her more rebellious sibling.

And now, she was pregnant. Before she'd even graduated. Or was old enough to rent a car.

Juunanagou lit up that cigar in celebration of his party, the cigar a smelly thing he'd found in the 'misc.' drawer. "Who's the Dad?"

His name came out a sigh. "Krillin."

Gero made a gesture, reaching literally for his heart. Then keeled over at the twin's feet. It was a faster fall than the movies had suggested, and less graceful.

"…we should call 911, shouldn't we?"

"Yesh." He exhaled a plume of smoke. "Probably."

The things before her, like the old man at her feet turning blue and her own hands to flap at the air before her still seemed to belong to someone that was definitely not her. "Really. Put that out. Second hand smoke is bad for kids."

* * *

Krillin broke about at the dinner table, as he sat there, nearly weeping over his Master complaining about a broken dish.

"Now, son, you and Goku have to be more careful about this sort of thing."

It was just such a huge nothing to be talking about. He started to laugh, hitting the table with his hand hard enough to shake the silverware that remained. His life was quite possibly changed forever, and Master Roshi was talking about a broken dinner plate. Regardless of whatever happened, he was no longer the same man who'd moped about, depressed about being single. Had stopped being that man before he'd even opened the van door, before he'd lifted the crumbled condom, before he'd asked Juuhachigou that night if she was free. Right as he'd met Juuhachigou, his life had changed.

He wanted to have some grace about this, some inner peace rather than crying as he had been for the last month in the shower. Biting his tongue, losing weight, freaking out at the bathrooms at work. Everyone thought he must have been bipolar, and in a bad downward swing. Thankfully, his coworkers were his friends, who were used to his craziness. They just sent him back to do inventory more, and added encouragement where they could, and Bulma even promised him a raise next quarter—which he needed since he might have three whole new people to support in the apartment he shared with his Master and Oolong and Turtle. But they were his dear friends, no one better on the planet, excluding Juuhachigou.

Still, he wanted to murder Bulma for that bad condom.

Why had he even taken birth control advice from a woman who'd gotten pregnant just as accidentally as Juuhachigou had—because he'd thought such a smart woman would learn from her mistakes.

Goku, the closest thing he had to a brother, just stared at him over a bowl of strawberry ice cream. Goku, who'd married right after he'd dropped out of school, and had a child of his own. Whose life was held in both envy by Krillin, and sympathy, because being a teenage Dad and passing around resumes with a kid in a stroller wasn't easy.

But if Goku, who'd been basically raised in the country by wolves and grew up eating snakes, could do it, then so could Krillin. He'd given up his own strange vague dreams that had never gone beyond what he wanted to do for that day to attending preschool interviews with Chi-Chi.

The taller man worked at the same capsule store Krillin did, positions given to them by Bulma's string-pulling, but never seemed to work enough hours. Now, Krillin was joining his ranks as a working parent.

And he'd wanted—what he'd wanted was a stable relationship, marriage, then children when he had a real job and his girlfriend was no longer in college. After he'd become a successful writer. When he had a _plan_.

Not being forced into fatherhood after having lost his virginity in a van, using a defective condom, with a girl he _did_ love, but was just old enough to legally drink since last month. Who didn't have any idea how to be a mother more than he did a father, and who'd had such potential with her grades and intelligence until he came along with a handful of daisies that he'd thought matched her hair and had so charmed her into taking off her pants for him.

"Sorry. So sorry. Woops. I broke a plate." Krillin grabbed a soup bowl, throwing it into a wall hard enough to shatter the porcelain. "_Woops, broke another one_! Look how clumsy I am! I won't do it again!"

He threw another plate across the room.

A lie was in there, 'never do it again,' considering that even though Juuhachigou was pregnant, and going through so much inner crap, he still regularly tried, and succeeded in sleeping with her. It should have destroyed his sex drive, what he'd done to her with his stupidity and carelessness. But he still wanted to kiss and touch her, and for whatever reason, Juuhachigou allowed him to. Though, last time she'd cried in the small flat that she shared with her twin brother, 'we shouldn't be doing this half-assed Romeo and Juliet bullshit. We're not supposed to even be friends. What are we going to do?'

But, yet, they still kept seeing each other.

And they weren't even using protection. She'd snarled when he'd pulled a condom out, 'oh, it's a little damn late for that.' And it was.

Krillin nearly sobbed without tears for a moment, before he got ahold of himself. Briefly.

"Also, I got Juuhachigou's pregnant."

His Master keeled over, knocking over his own plate. Goku stopped gaping at Krillin to stare at the old man, lying there on the carpet besides the table.

For a second, he laughed crazily. "C'mon, it's not that bad. I mean, we don't know if she's having twins. Yet.

"Master?

"Master Roshi?"

Goku looked shockingly somber, despite the smear of ice cream on his chin. "He's not moving, Krillin."

"I killed him, didn't I." His child would have to visit him in jail. Juuhachigou would probably not want to give him conjugal visits, since obviously she would get custody and move on with her life with a decent guy. Maybe it was for the best. Except for poor Master Roshi, his father, practically, being dead.

"I'm going to call 911. And then maybe Chi-Chi, to tell her about the news."

Goku clapped his back before running to the phone.

* * *

They saw each other in the waiting room, and seemed to know what had happened. "You told?"

"Yep."

"Heart attack?"

"Possibly just some cardiac arrest. We'll see."

"Huh." She took his hand and together they sat on the uncomfortable wooden chair. "I went through something similar myself."

"I guess we won't ask them to babysit."

Juuhachigou had to laugh at that one. "I guess we'll just use them for diaper money."

"Will we need diaper money?" Krillin squeezed her hand, not looking exactly at her.

"Maybe so."

"You know, after nine months, that decision's going to be made for us."

"Yeah." Her hand went to her stomach, as it had been doing constantly since she'd heard her own screams echoing in a public bathroom as she handled the pregnancy test with a numb hand.

"So, you wanna give this mess a go? Just roll with it?"

"You think acting casual is going to help with this?"

"Can it hurt?"

"Birthing this thing will. In fact, this entire process will be painful."

"I have thought this through. I am an adult, and I have a job. And a car. We can move in together. We'll go out and buy a crib. I'm serious. Why are you smiling? We'll get to know each other. I know we're young, but if we work at this, our relationship might survive."

"I'm just thinking as terrible as this is going to be, at least it's with you."

"Awwww."

"Go. Go check on the old man."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now I'm going to sit here—"

"And think of baby names?"

"—I'm going to sit here, and wonder about Gero's will and whether or not I'm still in it after Juunanagou and I borrowed his car. That would buy us some diapers."

**300.** "**Meaning what? You think they're all just misunderstood? That all they want is to be our friends?"**

Krillin took one glance at them, at her, and then took off in the opposite direction. He nearly slid on the overturned rug, crashing into a side table, and then tore the door off its hinges as he lunged outside.

Juunanagou didn't even have time to give an amused glance at his sister before she took off after him. She'd never been one to wait. He and Juurokugou watched them through the window of Goku's small quant country house. His attempts at flying were quickly shot down by Juuhachigou, who jumped onto the panicked man's back.

"Hey, where are you going? I just want to play a little with you. Why are you screaming? I haven't even broken your arm. C'mon shrimp, I won't hurt you."


	13. 301 thru 325

"**Now son, there's one last thing I want to tell you about woman. They're different from us. They're soft and curvy…well maybe they're not that different. Except in this one way. They can smell fear. Once they've got their claws in you, there is no end to the horrors they can inflict." -Jay Sherman, the Critic.**

**Author's Note: **

_**In which Krillin's roommates meet Juuhachigou repeatedly, the roof as well as Krillin's bed is defiled once again, Krillin's taste in women is questioned, and that Saiyan armor is finally discovered by Juuhachigou.**_

* * *

**301. I Didn't Care, You Were The Most Exciting Thing I've Ever Know**

It was a last ditch effort, devised by Krillin's roommates. They all remembered clearly the moping, the unshaven appearance, the misery he'd tried to hide with his smiles and behind training. This would have to work, because there was no other way to save their bald friend. Not from the downward trajectory that led him to cooing at the disturbed android that was now staying here (alongside her terrifying brother).

They realized, despite how much it might hurt in the immediate future, it was better than watching Juuhachigou snap as he teased her over a plate of mashed potatoes -only to get pushed out of his chair. "So you don't want more gravy?"

She made her cold twin look like the reasonable one, since all he would do was shoo Krillin away.

One day, she'd break his spine or something. And he'd go crawling back for more, because that's the kind of guy Krillin was.

Look at him, standing over the oven, wearing a sad apron, trying to get a nonplussed Juuhachigou to appreciate his cooking.

"Maron came back."

The muscles went slack in Krillin's face. The androids were looking at them like they were a curious sideshow, a three-headed goat that could do basic algebra. "_What_?"

"When you were out. Fighting certain mechanical beings."

Juunanagou rolled his eyes at his sister as she poured him another glass of wine.

"Oh. How was she?"

"Great. Beautiful."

"Stacked as always."

"Eh Good for her." The man turned back to the blonde machine, holding up a spoon for inspection and to taste. "Do you think this needs more pepper?"

Oolong threw a folded up newspaper at Krillin's head. "Don't you care? She showed up, all hot for you-"

The blonde android was one looking shocked now. "_What_?"

"Going on about your muscles. Said how much she missed you? How worried she was. She was _begging_ for you to come back!"

"'To come back?' As in, you'd been there before. With her?"

"She used to be my girlfriend. Years ago."

"You had a girlfriend? A real girlfriend that went out in public with you? That referred to herself as your girlfriend?"

"Yeah. For a couple…couple of months."

"And now she came crawling back. You have the upper hand. For once."

"Yeah Krillin." Juuhachigou was looking at him without blinking. "Why don't you go crawling back to her?"

As though she didn't lead Krillin around by the short hairs, demanding his attention

"No, I'm done with her. She—we're done." Krillin was trying to_ reassure_ Juuhachigou—who in turn looked unimpressed. Her twin brother was looking at them, disgusted. "I'll never see her again."

His roommates could only sputter out a hopeless, "She _liked_ you bald!"

**302. But you are what you love, and not what loves you back, so I guess that's why you keep calling me back.**

Whatever crazy feelings Krillin might have for her, waxing or waning, Juuhachigou clung to their existence.

She needed the reassurance, whatever foothold she could find, to make herself a little less crazy. He was aware of her cybernetic parts, was affectionate and sweet, and in love with her. So her feeling the same was _completely_ understandable.

Okay, maybe not completely. Krillin was often nervous, always making bad jokes and, _and_ there was the nose issue, and he was much weaker compared to herself. But still strong, for a regular human. His ease at just taking abuse and only fighting back when necessary tended to hide his power. Plus the short thing—though the way he'd look up at her with large dark eyes, trusting her entirely, and looking downright disorienting when he'd wear one of those orange gis with no shirt on underneath. Damnit.

For the most part, Juuhachigou thought she could handle some little crush from a guy that might be considered cute. In a puppyish way. His affections were unwanted, but not hated. A curiosity to poke at, like she would the scars on his forehead.

With that in mind, she felt safer buying him gifts, and making her own little comments and coming back to his room for more and more.

**303. But you are what you love, and not what loves you back, so that's why I'm here on your doorstep, pleading for you to take me back. **

Krillin hadn't expected to ever, ever see her again. It was best to take Juuhachigou at her word. So when she'd blasted off, cursing his existence and saying that she hoped to never see his face again, Krillin had taken what was left of his heart, crawled upstairs to collapse in his bed, and sob uncontrollably. Sure he'd ruined whatever chance he'd have through his usual mess of not being tall enough, or strong enough, or missing a nose, and being so aware of all his shortcomings.

For a week, he'd stayed like that. Wanting to open the window to fall onto the beach, and hope the tide came in to drown him.

Her at his window was a new level of cruelty from his imagination.

His ears almost missed her next words. "Do you want to go do something tonight? Like spar? Or watch another dumb movie downstairs? Please don't try karaoke again."

"Hi."

"Hi. Did you hear me?"

**304. She May Be The Cure, But For Now She's The Torture**

"Krillin!"

The aforementioned ex-monk squeaked, and then fell onto the floor from the couch. Then he crawled like a paratrooper towards the window. To shift, and then close the curtains completely. "Master. Run."

"Who is that? Is it that blonde girl you were-?"

There was a knock on the door that somehow managed to shake the whole house. "_Where are you?!"_

"I really think you should leave now, Roshi."

The turtle hermit watched Krillin huddle up before the window. Despite the terrifyingly pissed-off android outside his door, it had been some time he'd seen his student had been seen with a woman. Showing so much emotion towards a girl, more than he had in three years. It was encouraging to see him out there again, trying to date.

"I just don't understand you kids anymore. Is this your way of flirting nowadays?"

**305. Well I'm falling **

Considering she'd been the one to push him, he thought it only fair she help him back to his house. Reluctantly, she'd agreed. After looking down at him, at his curled form around his twisted ankle. Her sighing. Him trying not to smile or look moderately happy.

"Ow. This really huurtts."

"Stop whining."

…all he'd wanted was an arm thrown around her shoulder. Or just a shoulder to lean on.

This was really just revenge for helping her get away from Cell. No good dead went unpunished with Juuhachigou around. And she wasn't very steady either. The proximity to her was nice, yes, but not this way, never this way.

He'd gotten to hold her during her injury, and now Juuhachigou was returning the favor.

"I could just drag you, you know."

"No. I guess this is alright."

**306. Haven't Felt This Way In a Long Time**

He woke up with a delirious grin on his unshaven face and a scream held behind his teeth.

What the hell was wrong with him, for thinking, for thinking about that. Gap-toothed smiles and trusting eyes, blue eyes turned up towards him. Bubbles in a bathtub and small hands pushing a rubber duck at him like Goten would when being given his bath.

That dream should have been long dead. For so many reasons, it was stupid to even _think_ about.

Really. There was no way _Juuhachigou_ would want to have kids with him.

**307. You Had Us All Standing On Our Heads, Doing Our Best Tricks**

Of course, of course he wasn't the only person to notice what an amazing person she was. While his friends had also seen her at her worse, and had somehow dismissed her as 'just an android' and therefore not a desirable woman, strangers hadn't. They were just as stricken as he was, taking discreet double takes at those legs. Even Yamcha, a fellow fighter that knew what was behind the pale perfect face, had commented a few times about her attractiveness.

'That cute android chick.' 'That pretty android girl.' 'She was kinda hot. Bet she's dating someone already, so maybe you should move on.' '…blonde and cute and female after all. Competition's gotta be rough…'

Juuhachigou was rougher than the competition, in so many ways.

For all her glaring and coldness, she pulled men (and even some women) in like moths to a dizzying light. And just like that light, she had literally electrocuted them and had left them twitching on the ground.

She did look like she was regretting that now, to be fair. And she hadn't killed any of them.

Now it was only him left standing.

They stared at each, waiting for the other to make the first move. Not unlike when he'd confronted her on that island, armed with only a remote in one hand, and his sickening affections in the other, weighting them. Only this time, he wasn't afraid of Cell arriving to hurt her.

Now he only worried about her rejecting him. At least with Cell, he'd known what to do.

"Don't look at me like that. They're not dead. And they were annoying me. Like you are, staring at me like that."

"Fou?"

"What?"

"Yes."

"_What_?"

"Would you like a drink?"

She thought about that. "Yes."

Now he was_ two_ steps ahead of the competition.

**308. It's Tough To Have a Crush On You**

She, dear Kami, was back. It was like that monkey paw situation: he'd gotten his wish to meet a pretty girl that might like him, had gotten a kiss, and then had the chance to see her again. Only horribly wrong in every way.

She wasn't even a girl, exactly! A machine. Or maybe a girl, but one that was only part robot. And who had a scary boyfriend that was standing right there. Helping her threaten Piccolo to reveal the location of their friend, so they could murder him.

It wasn't easy to wrap his mind around the fact that soon they were going to die. Soon, if not exactly now. By Cell or by the android's pale gloved hands. Gloves, why was she wearing gloves? And that slim golden bangle. To match the old-fashioned watch band and triangular badge on her vest, over the right…on her right side.

Then she was laughing at him, while just gaped upward at the angelic sight and sound. Then she took off to go help her boyfriend kill one of his friends.

**309. Rendezvous, then I'm Through With You **

This time, he became half-way conscious during it. At least had would have this memory, after Juuhachigou would leave before he got up. Then disappear to wherever and leave him to worry about her. Never a word after the first time, nothing beyond mutters not understood, with him trying to be as silent as possible given the circumstances.

She thought he was still asleep, and he found that he was willing to go along with that.

"_Guess who?"_

"_Juuhachigou? Hah, what are you-oh, wait. please, don't. Stop. What are you doing?" _

**310. Her Father Took One Look At Me, and He Began To Squeal**

This was probably the most awkward dinner of her life. The pig looked like he'd been nailed to the seat, and the old man kept looking at her, as though expecting Only the turtle was polite to the new guest. Him, and Krillin.

'So what's wrong with _her_?' was the first thing the shape-shifter had asked Krillin. Right after she'd had her jacket politely removed from stiff shoulders, and had been announced as his girlfriend.

Was it wrong to feel a small curl of pleasure over his protectiveness? 'There's nothing wrong with her! Don't say things like that!'

'Alright. Settle down you two.' There was a grin beneath the grey beard. She could have slapped the sunglasses and leering look on his face off, but that might have upset Krillin—for whom she was trying so hard to make happy. 'What's your name, miss?'

'Juuhachigou.'

'…as in number Eighteen?'

Then they were nearly screaming, squealing, and ultimately freaking out. And from there, things headed downhill. Krillin ran interference, no, no you guys, she's—well, she's not harmless, but she won't hurt anyone. So long as there wasn't any grabbing. No, she's not blackmailing me, oh, shut up Oolong, I'm not blackmailing her either. Yeah, she's one of the androids we were warned about by Future Trunks ('what?' 'I'll explain later, hon.'), but she wouldn't and hasn't hurt anyone.

'Hon?'

'But, so, she's here for dinner. Which I will make in just a second.'

Leaving her to fend for herself in this pink house.

"So, is it _all_ mechanical?"

"Shut up."

Whatever had been in her voice, on her face, as she said that, had been intimidating, given the fact that the pig and the old man began to scream out to Krillin for the help that_ she_ should have gotten.

**311. You Used To Think Someone Would Come Along, and Lay Beside You In The Space That They belong**

Their first night together was spent on the cold wood floor, and later, curled around each other beneath sheets pulled down from his too-small bed. Juuhachigou had opened her eyes only to complain about that, and to tell him that first thing in the morning, they were going to get a bigger bed.

**312. The Roller Coaster Makes Me Sick and She Knows It**

Of course Krillin had no idea why she liked forcing him on the dumb thing. Maybe he thought it was only sadism, or that she really _did_ enjoy going boringly slow while the humans behind them screamed for it to stop. He was too oblivious to the fact that Juuhachigou liked it when he'd cling to her, muttering how dumb he was being, but oh, oh god, no, no, over and over again while she could pet his head unnoticed. Could practically hold him while he stumbled down the steps back towards the crowds.

"What about that ride over there next?"

**313. Would You Like To Come Over and Kill Some Time?**

Yamcha found him tied to the chimney like that. From the ropes and chains and duck tape surrounding the short man, the scarred ex-banding deducted that he couldn't pull himself free without taking half the roof with him. So for now Krillin was just sitting there, pulled tightly to the brick, waiting. Completely naked except for strategically placed bonds that still revealed way too much of his friend. The friend that he hadn't seen much of lately, and hadn't answered his call to see if he wanted to do something this Saturday.

It was impossible not to smirk. "I see you retiring from fighting hasn't stopped that adventurous spirit."

"Yeah, that's me. Mister Adventure."

"So…who is she?"

Krillin cleared his throat, trying for dignity. It must have been the monk training that did it, because it was getting_ cold_ out here on this fine morning. "You know. Maybe I shouldn't say."

"Because she left you out here?"

"That, and I don't think she'd be too happy to hear me talking about her."

"What's she going to do, leave you tied up and naked somewhere for your friends to find you?"

One of the bonds was slipping down from his waist. "That's too."

"Is she coming back, Krillin?"

"Yeah. This isn't the first time."

"So she's a sadist. That does seem your type. Can I meet her?"

He swallowed convulsively. "You already have."

Yamcha sighed. "Do you want me to help you out of there, or leave you for Master Roshi or Juuhachigou or Oolong to find?"

**314. Don't Touch Me Please, I Cannot Stand the Way You Tease**

It was even worse than when she'd first kissed him, in a way. The situation was ten times scarier, because Cell did not just beat people up as the androids had, but would instead just murder everyone. There was no reason to even let that thought cross his mind. She sure wouldn't have appreciated him thinking about her that way in any situation, let alone life or death.

So what the hell was wrong with him, to think about how nice if somewhat bony her butt had felt when she'd crashed into him.

**315. There's No Jealousy, Because She's My Little Pipedream Fantasy**

It was nothing like his other crushes. Because obviously Juuhachigou was so different from the other women in his life, the opposite of what he'd thought he'd fall in love with. But he'd never felt so jealous before in his life as seeing other men trying to talk to her.

Not even Maron, his actual girlfriend had riled him up so badly. And she would actually flirt back with the men. Same thing with Bulma, whom he'd had a crush on for years and years without a backward glance in his direction. Bulma, who would complain to him about the other men in her life and not know how sick he'd feel to hear all about her romantic life and had never once shown any interest in him.

He was 'a masochist,' as Oolong had once gasped out to him, when learning of his infatuation with Juuhachigou. 'And don't think we didn't see you all gaga over that curly-haired alien chick.'

Juuhachigou was sullen, unresponsive, rude to all that approached her, and Krillin could have kissed her for that alone–amongst other things. That is, to say, he appreciated, if hopelessly, that she wasn't seeing anyone. As selfish as that sounded. Horribly selfish. Not that he wanted to do more to her than kiss her, well, not because she was single anyway. Not that he should even be sitting here, thinking such things, because that laser blue gaze of Juuhachigou could so easily read his mind and leave him scrambling to say that no, I was just looking at your...collarbone. To be met with a wide stare and a shift further away.

There was no way that she'd ever pick him sexually speaking over say that tall handsome gentleman in the corner trying to make eyes with her, but he was safe. She knew he wouldn't pressure her into anything, and could be counted on keeping all his limbs to himself.

He was short and dorky, and a perfect gentleman. Wouldn't even think of noticing how high that skirt when up when she crossed her legs, or how pretty she looked sipping from a straw, that her foot was now tracing up his calf.

**316. Swimming Through the Isles Of The Grocery Store, I Don't Even Know What I'm Looking For**

Their carts crashed into each other before they realized who the other was. Krillin had nearly landed onto the toppled cereal boxes while she could at least tell herself that she'd been more graceful. There had been some dignity, to make up for riding on the cart like that, mind and eyes not in front of her. That Krillin had been doing the same childish thing did not help.

At three in the morning, in a nearly empty grocery store, things lost perspective. Fluorescent lights and lemon scented tile did not help the Kafkaesque quality of looking for vanilla pudding and iceberg lettuce past midnight. People looked different at such a time, their expressions turned mean.

Krillin just lay there, appearing nothing like the fighter he was.

"Oh. _There's_ the Poptarts."

**317. He's Looking for Love In All The Wrong Places."—Sonny Strait, on Krillin**

It was stupid, sure, but still, Krillin had to ask Gohan about her. "So, that Zangya girl, Bojack definitely killed her?"

"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Impossible to exactly elaborate on his interest to a twelve-year-old with nothing more desperate or lust-filled than getting another ice cream cone from the nice vender. Impossible, really, to talk about his love life with someone, a child, who had ice cream on his nose. Really, it had been just another dumb idea in a long desperate line of them.

"Oh. No reason."

**318. I Just Want A Lover Like Any Other; What Do I Get?**

Considering his best friends were married to aliens/crazy women, maybe it wasn't so surprising that his love life was so off kilter and pointed to the dramatic. A normal sweet girl that maybe was a fan of martial arts and romantic comedies, with dark eyes and hair. A little like Launch, when she was the nice version.

But nope, oh no, a normal human girl? Better to hold a pathetic crush for his best female friend, one never spoken or mentioned to anyone aloud. Better to flirt with an alien woman that had cold-eyed and a lot of curly orange hair that begged for a hand to run through it. Better to stutter and then date around a blue-haired woman with cloud grey eyes that was more interested in every other man on the planet than him.

From now on, it was a new day. He had to whip open the curtains and open the window to let in fresh salt air.

_I will find a normal girl. One day. We will move to a nice house in the suburbs with no perverts around. Have three kids, maybe. _

…_I just need to find her before the androids show up and murder us all. _

**319. **"**Yo, Krillin here."**

Juuhachigou's sanity caught up with her, and she shoved the payphone's receiver back down onto its grimy cradle. Nope, hearing that nasally voice hadn't helped her at all. What the hell could she have even said to him? 'How've you been?' Idiotic. Better to just keep away from the shrimp.

Still, she got the creeping sensation that he'd known that it hadn't been a wrong number.

**320. If You Could Read My Mind**

Everyone's eyes slid to Bulma's latest invention. At her grin that was devoid of mercy and sanity. "It reads people's thoughts!"

Those eyes slid down to eye the device. "Huh."

"And then says them aloud!"

Yamcha threw his hands up first. "Welp, I'll see you guys later."

"This is worse than the lie detector test you had us all hooked up." Only to ask Vegeta questions that not even the murderous space pirate should have been subjected to. The contraption so cleverly designed into the gravity chamber he used and leaving him unable to escape without messing up what he needed to train. 'Fine! I_ was_ looking at your chest! You never cease to shove it into my face! But I was not looking at your annoying Mother's ass!"

"C'mon! I thought we could play a game. Like truth or dare. But_ really_ truth or dare."

Krillin's grin went crooked. "I—well, maybe." How much could he have left to hide anyway? Oh, what's that, you do have a sickening puppy dog crush on Juuhachigou? We had no idea.

Bulma gave him a high-five that had to be returned. "Yeah, Krillin gets it. C'mon. We're all friends here. Who's first?"

Then there was a sound similar to: **BAAMCH **asJuuhachigou and Vegeta tore through the east and west wall respectively, in their haste to get away.

**321. All I'm Saying, Pretty Baby…**

"I'm not really into the whole Saiyan look. But you in black isn't bad."

"You're the one that insisted I put this thing on. It gives me some bad memories..." Krillin looked down at the still-white glove. Flawlessly clean as when he'd first put it on, in a strange ship, commanded to by an evil space pirate, while they camped on an alien world. It had traveled with him to Earth, by way of the Otherworld. He'd seen Goku turn Super Saiyan in this, his friends brought back to life. He had worn this after being revived for the second time, then had gone home with his Master and friends. Had taken it off, then kicked it under his bed. Hadn't touched it since pulling the last of the black material off his legs.

His hair, noticed only by Juuhachigou, had been mussed by shoving his head through the small opening. Maybe that's why Vegeta's hair was always so spiky. At least the alien had done something right by giving Krillin this outfit.

"You died in that dumb orange outfit. And that one doesn't have a hole to show off your abs." Juuhachigou felt like she should be eating peeled grapes or dark chocolate as she watched him.

"That's because I was stabbed in the stomach by a giant horn."

"I see."

"Then I was blown up. In this suit."

"Those shorts are ridiculous. Also, those shoulderpads. And what exactly are those things on your legs, just hanging there?"

"You'd have to ask Vegeta about that."

"Then I'd prefer to never know." No matter how playful her voice was, Krillin couldn't bring himself to smile. "This is supposed to be fun, Krillin."

"I prefer it when you were wearing that cowgirl outfit."

"Don't remind me."

"I'm having flashbacks. This is enough. How do I get this off?!"

"Here, let me help. Don't rip your own hair out."

"_I hate this thing_."

"Okay. It's okay." She brushed hair out of his eyes, the same color as his skin tight leotard number. Away from his sweat forehead. Between his expression and size, he looked even younger than normally. Sweet and defenseless. That was what had charmed her from the get-go.

"Better without the armor. Or this." She tugged at what he had on left. Krillin did look like some long-lost Saiyan, missing the tail, except for that face that was never meant for furious scowls as he decimated another world. "Maybe."

She took off the gloves, pushing him forward to get a better look at him from the back of his head down to the back of his boot. "Let's see."

**322. I know you're coming in the night like a thief**

"Are you serious?"

"Just hold me steady. He should be here in a second."

But they both overestimated her skinny brother's strength at holding her up so she could see over the fence. Sending them both falling heavily into the trash cans that needed to be taken out to the curb and into the splintery heavy fence that felt like cinderblock against a defenseless shoulder that was covered by a cleverly dark t-shirt, and nothing else.

"Where's your stupid boyfriend?" Juunanagou hissed out, holding his arm.

"He's supposed to be here at midnight. 'Right by the fence.' Ow. Ow."

There were footsteps that froze them both.

Her twin had turned out to be agreeably liberal when it came to whom she dated ("So long as it gets you out of my hair."), but Krillin's friends had no problem badmouthing them at every turn and starting fights. And they were always here, hanging out with Krillin during another barbeque that had her falling asleep at her desk, an econ book as a pillow, while she waited for them to leave so he could finally call her. 'You know, you can just stop by. They're okay with you. Mostly.' 'I think I'll pass.' To fall back asleep while he went on about those people only to wake up with dawn peeking through the heavy black curtains and his snores heard through the receiver.

Which only made her feel more wistful for him. They'd yet to spend a full real night together; those telephone calls were the closest thing. So far those calls and hours spent in deserted parts of the library, kissing and holding hands, and movies they had to show up separately at, were the extent of their courtship. His group of friends was large and gossiping, and so was her adopted family.

She'd never understood so many popular teen movies, or hated so much Shakespeare until she met Krillin. A part of her despised how happy the sound of her phone made her, or the little notes he'd slide into her locker, or that she counted down the days until college with even more vigor. Nothing would change/everything would change once they got there. Despite her maturity (which she thought she did possess, never mind the slap fights with her twin), she maybe still believed that things would change with an audible click once she became a legal adult.

Whoever it was threw themselves up onto the fence to hang there and look over the top. "What—Juuhachigou?"

"Hi there." Her grin was immediate, despite her twin rolling his eyes. Krillin just grinned right back. You could see his teeth through the gaps in the boards.

"I was afraid you weren't going to show up, babe."

"What, and miss hanging out with the garbage, _honey_?"

"Er. Yeah. I meant the other wall. By the roses…hi Juunanagou. Wanna come over? Both of you? There are, surprisingly, leftovers."

"Just give us a second." They both jumped up and tried to maneuver upward without shoving the other to the ground or getting splinters.

"Wait. Hang on. I'll just open the latch."

"Wild roses and leftovers. Your boyfriend knows how to treat you."

"Oh shut up. At least I have one. And he is nice, isn't he?" They practically fell into each other, in their relief and joy at the reunion. Juunanagou could be ignored, even as he poked at Krillin's head.

"That old man has beer, at least, right?"

**323. S/He liked his coffee with...**

It was best not to think about how she'd awoken, and stumbled down the hall to the kitchen, blinded, hair a mess, face still bearing the shock of alcohol. The cold tiles were a jolt to her system, cybernetic enhanced or not. A system that informed her of dehydration and queasiness and a sore throat and bruised muscles.

Her brother sat at the table, holding a mug of something that gently steamed. Every time she blinked, her head pounded. There was a smugness to the dark-haired cyborg, the neat clothes that weren't picked up from the ground after a long blurred night that held memories she ignored. "Oh. You _didn't_ die of alcohol poisoning."

"Shut up." Blindly, Juuhachigou groped for the coffee. "I don't want to hear it. You think I want to relive that?"

"So you do remember it all?"

"…most of it."

"But not everything." Juunanagou smiled. It was not a kind expression.

All she could do was fill her mug, and brace herself. Nothing could really deter her twin brother when he wanted to annoy someone.

"Remember at all dancing on a table?"

"You're lying."

"Search your feelings. You know them to be true."

The grain of the table was enough to make her feel sick. "I hate you."

"You want to hear how you sang 'No Scrubs.'"

She massaged her eyelids. "No. Oh god, no."

Someone opened the patio door with an echoing '_sheeeaaak_.' Slowly, Juuhachigou moved her gaze westward, towards the glittering sunlight and the third person that she could not recall inviting back to her house, and oh, oh, fuck her life, it was not even a stranger.

Krillin stared at her, ridiculous in his shorts and _her_ t-shirt, carrying a plate of pancakes. "Hey, Juuhachi.

Her twin brother's eyes had iced over. "Apparently, he didn't listen close enough to the lyrics of your impromptu karaoke concert. Or maybe_ you_ didn't."

"What _are you doing_?" Stupidly, the blonde woman's hands fell downward, as though she could cover the exposed skin that way. Her knees had never felt colder.

"I made breakfast." Looking at her through the innocent, non-hungover face, abdominal muscles visible through the tight t-shirt that _she_'d been wearing last night. Why was he wearing her clothes? "Juunanagou said that the oven didn't work, so I went outside to use the grill."

The short fighter sat down, in-between the twins. Then bounced up with a twittering, "Oh, you need more coffee, Juuhachi? Here."

Refilling her cup, leaning in much too close, as though she couldn't murder him bloodily, make him shriek and beg for mercy. Smiling and looking deeply into her bemused eyes. The machinery in her head provided his movements in slow motion, really_ searing_ the sight of him pouting the smallest amount as he lowered himself the tiniest degree to kiss her cheek, a sensation that lasted a minute even as the gesture was completed in less than five seconds. Refilling her coffee. Him practically hopping back to his seat that creaked in a way that opened a new Pandora's Box as her brain slid forward memories, feet swinging two inches from the floor.

Blue eyes were looking across the span of the wooden table, asking wordlessly, 'why, why did you bring this into our home?' They'd been doing so well avoiding the vigilantes that would have loved nothing more than to destroy both of them. Perhaps this was some sort of espionage, to get them to commit suicide.

**324. Jesus Christ, That's a Pretty Face. The Kind You'd Find on Someone That You Could Save.**

"I'm sorry Krillin." Dende was looking at him, saddened. "She's not waking up."

"What do you mean—" He could feel a scream welling in his throat. "Why not?"

"She was hurt _mechanically_, somehow. I can't heal that, only the human part. I'm sorry—"

His fault, all his fault. Too weak to press the button, too weak to defend her.

Krillin looked over her, looking for some clue as to what to do. At her defenseless form lying there, the blue eyes closed, the hair unmoving on her forehead, lying there at their feet or at his own knees as he fell to her side. With Dende standing there, looking miserable for his first failure as Guardian of Earth.

"Juuhachigou?"

He would have given anything for her to wake up then. For her to rage at being handled like a child, at his concern, as she was sure to do. For her to be indifference to his feelings and want nothing more than to return to Juunanagou. For her even to threaten him with violence. Anything so long as it meant those eyelids would open in a flutter of dark lashes and pale irises.

There had to be something, they'd tried so hard to save everyone, to go through everything and lose—her. It made him wish for Trunks' time machine to go back and fix all this. More than ever. Even if it wouldn't help this timeline, to just know that she was alive somewhere, actually conscious and not a murderess, then Krillin could breathe again.

Bulma. Bulma could fix this. She'd created that remote, maybe all came down to was making another remote, and pressing that button. Mechanical problem, not a biological one.

"I'm taking her to Capsule Corp. Maybe Bulma can help."

Yamcha had moved closer, when realizing that she hadn't awoken. That his friend was losing his mind because of it. "Krillin, man, what are you doing?"

"Just wish everyone back." Krillin picked her up, as tenderly as possibly. Her face as sweetly relaxed as ever. Did she know somewhere in there, behind those closed eyes that she was safe? Could she sense that, as she had Cell's rising rage and power as he'd fought Gohan. Would she call out, wordlessly, in some turmoil? Was she dreaming?

"Are you sure about this?" Future Trunks looked like he wanted to stop him.

He could nearly smile at his friends, to show that he hadn't completely let slip all of his marble. There were a few, if chipped, still rolling around his bald head. He was so_ tired_, feeling the pain of fighting Cell, despite the senzu bean taken earlier, the energy given to help distract Cell. All of it tearing at him as he failed again. It'll be okay. There will be a way to fix all of this, all of it. Please. "I've got to help her. It's my fault she's like this."

* * *

"Oh, good of you to wake up. Finally." But the woman's grin was pleased despite the acid in her voice.

Juuhachigou nearly blasted her in two until sanity prevailed. She could remember Cell descending on her, the suffocation and claustrophobia, no way out. With a shudder, she remembered losing her brother to that tail.

"Where's—" Everything.

"Your clothes are over here. Freshly cleaned. You're welcome. Nice pearls, by the way."

"My clothes?" Her eyes moved away from the possible enemy to take in what she was wearing. Hospital gown covered by a blanket that matched the walls. Even her earrings had been removed.

There was a stuffed bear digging into her elbow, and she shove it out of her bed. "What the hell is this?"

"Krillin. He even brought you cards." She rolled her eyes. "And flowers."

"_Krillin_…brought me here?" The short bald human that had grown up with Goku. Good warrior with ki. Strongest human on Earth. Easily frightened into speech and a_ hero_ type.

The man who'd brandished a remote controller at her, only to break it. Who'd fought briefly with Cell in hopes of her getting away. Who blushed when he looked her straight in the eyes.

"Yep. Carried you here from God knows where. Vouched for you." There was steel in those blue eyes. "But Krillin's a sucker for a pretty face."

Casually, the woman that Juuhachigou realized was Bulma Brief of Capsule Corp and friend of Goku, pulled out the emergency suspension controller. "I always like to keep spares on hand, android."

So she was at Capsule Corp. A large yellow domed building in West City. "You know who I am?"

"Yeah, the name's kind of a big clue."

"What happened?" Juuhachigou asked.

"Gohan beat up Cell. You were _spat_ out. Krillin brought you here. He was thinking you were in some coma, which maybe you were. There wasn't much to do besides wait for you to wake up. All systems were online, and all that. You were probably lucky to wake up again. We couldn't exactly run you through a CAT scan.

"So, I guess we need to lay some ground rules down." Bulma tapped the corner of the remote against a plain wooden cabinet. The flowers sitting in a vase atop it waved cheerfully from the slight vibration. Baby's breath and yellow tulips. "And before you even try anything, you should know that there are two Saiyans upstairs that would be perfectly_ happy_ to see you end up a new trash compactor in my lab. Krillin would be sad, but I'm sure he'd understand in time it was for the best."

"I see." Those Saiyans wouldn't of course keep this woman from getting her neck snapped, but it would prevent Juuhachigou from escaping unscathed after such an act. "What rules are those?"

"One. You will not hurt anyone. In any way."

"Obviously."

"Two. You will be polite to Krillin."

"_What_?"

"In fact, you'll be polite to everyone. Keep a civil tongue, or else Vegeta will remove it. He's done worse to people who have done less, believe me."

"Fine. Whatever."

The blue eyes were focusing elsewhere. "You owe Krillin, I have to say. He came in practically in tears, determined to save you. Made me fix you up again. It's really hard to say no to the puppy dog eyes, I feel I have to warn you now. Common decency."

"Speaking of which…" Bulma pressed a button on an intercom set into the pale blue walls. "Hey, Krillin, done changing the android's bedding. And I think she's waking up, so you might want—"

You could hear his shoes squeaking against the tile outside as he came running.

Krillin was unshaven all around that round face, wearing only the pants of a tattered torn gi, and a white t-shirt. "Juuhachigou!"

"You're okay." He was practically reeling, pale. "You're awake."

From the growth of hair that not even Gero's files had ever mentioned, she guessed she'd been out of it for a while. Maybe a week. He looked ready to crawl into that bed and check on her state. Hands falling onto the blanket, clasped together and white-knuckled with strained. The air smell of rubbing alcohol and faint perfume from the flowers and his sweat. Juuhachigou wanted to yell for Bulma to call this puppy dog off.

"Yeah. She's doing just fine."

"Really, you're really okay?" His laugh was shaky. "We were so worried."

"'We'?" It was bad enough being here with a snide Greek chorus in the background.

What she wanted was her twin, more than anything. She felt the rising panic and fear, and choked it tightly between her fingers. "I'm fine. Where's my brother?"

He wasn't blushing so much now when they made eye contact. "Brother?"

"And Juurokugou? What happened to them?"

"Brother. You mean. Oh, Juunanagou. He's your brother. Wow. That's, hah." His smile was loose and aimed at nothing. "No, I haven't seen him since…he showed up at Kame House."

"Krillin, give her a chance to breathe."

He backed up. Finally. "Sorry."

"Go get some coffee and something to eat. She's _okay_."

"Yeah. I know." No one in her memory had ever grinned at her like that, all delighted at her very existence. It awoke some budding blush she struggled to contain, some crawling in her lower stomach. Her brother. She needed her twin there. What had that woman done to her, could this be blamed on her? Krillin's eyes just about ate her alive, in a very different way than Cell had done. That gaze touching on her forehead, her nose, her _mouth_, her arms and chest. Loosing focus further downward as he lowered his head.

Oh, god, what was _this _now?

"In six months, we can collect the dragonball again, and wish for you to be human. Er. More human. You and your _brother_."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought you knew." Krillin ran a hand through his incredibly short stubble. An unfamiliar gesture. "About the dragonballs?"

"What?"

"We use them to make magic wishes," Bulma broke in. "Like a genie. And Krillin managed to talk the rest of the guys to use the second wish, eventually, to help you. You and your_ brother_."

She made an indescribable face at Krillin, who shrugged helplessly. Over what, Juuhachigou didn't know.

"You—" She grabbed at his hand, squeezing his wrist hard enough to make him wince. Bulma shifted, noticeably. "You want to make me _human_?"

"More. I don't know. Take out the parts?" Krillin read her expression correctly. "If you want?"

"I—" Do not want. I want to be human. I want…I want.

He seemed able to read whatever was on her face again rightly. "We have time. You can think it over. We just wanted to help, if it would make your life easier."

"I'll get you something from the cafeteria. Right?" He turned to look at Bulma. "That's okay right?"

There was a small smile on the other woman's face. "Right. Go get her some Jello, Krillin."

The short fighter had to laugh. "I'm serious. I'll get something. Do you want something in particular, Miss Juuhachigou?"

"I'm not particularly hungry." Which was the truth. Just thinking about his offer, about what her brother might want, what she should do, what she wanted…Gero was dead. Cell was dead.

"Juurokugou? What happened to him?"

Krillin was no longer laughing. "He…was okay, from Cell. We brought him here, but then at the tournament, Cell…"

"He's dead?"

"I'm sorry. He was a nice guy."

He was a nice machine. No, that was cruel…but he had been a good machine. A_ friend_. "What tournament?"

"Cell had a tournament, like a game. He challenged the strongest fighters, one by one, to beat them. Goku…Goku didn't make it. And he decided not to be wished back." Were those tears in his eyes? "But Gohan got him."

Her own eyes were dry. Did she want to be human, like him, could she be like him? To feel grief for Juurokugou? Could she feel grief? Could she not feel grief? How would she even know what that was supposed to feel like?

'A _game._' Did he hate her for her own part in what had happened? His friend was dead, if partially because of her. If Cell hadn't arrived, they would have tracked the Saiyan down and killed him anyway. Because it would have been funny. She could feel amusement (_a trembling cheek, eyes as scared as a rabbit before a wolf_) but not grief or sadness. And fear, though only recently.

She tucked a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I'm going to get you something downstairs. It'll make you feel better. When you get your strength back, we can look for your brother. All of us. It'll be easier that way. We'll find him, don't worry."

What was that,_ sympathy_? We both lost someone? Is that what he was thinking? The cyborg didn't need her programming or Bulma's comments to let her know that Krillin had probably scarcely left her unconscious side.

She watched Krillin leave.

Maybe in time grief and sadness would come. Why would Gero allow her to feel anger and amusement, resentment, but not guilt? She was only a machine, why think she might have a conscious that would need to be hidden?

"I know. 'What was that?'" Bulma said from a long distance away.

Juuhachigou turned to stare at her.

"I bet he really is going to bring back some Jello for you." She sighed. "You should just be glad I didn't say you needed a kiss from your true love to wake you up."

"I think I'd like my clothes now. And a shower, if that's not too much to ask. Then I will leave."

"Sorry. But I think you're going to stay here."

She sneered. The room was much emptier with the short man here. "You do?"

"Oh, yeah. You're going to hang out here for a while. To make sure everything's okay. Eat some Jello. Then listen to Krillin. He's serious. You'll have an easier time finding your brother with help. You know that. You're strange, but not dumb."

"_I'm_ strange."

"Yeah. You are." Bulma broke into laughter. "But that's okay. We're all a little strange around here."

"Especially him."

"Sure. That's Krillin. But you should be thankful he's an oddball, because he's also an _optimistic_ oddball, and he made sure that no one killed you. It's not so bad," she assured the other woman. "Being around us. There's usually something interesting happening. We all tend to help each other.

"Especially Krillin. Who's also single." There was a disturbing waggle of blue eyebrows.

"Stop it."

"Just hang out here. While you figure out your next move. Hey, it's either here or Kame House."

Where Krillin lived. _With Krillin._

"You'll get some perspective, and some new clothes. How about that?"

**325. What the hell are you waiting for?**

Krillin was the one to stop Bulma from going behind their backs and ruining their plans. Usually, that was Yamcha. And lately,_ Vegeta_, who'd destroyed a suit she'd been making in hopes of showing up to help them fight the androids—a thing she was determined to do, regardless of their insistence that she stay away. Perhaps the Saiyan was learning mercy. Or maybe he just liked destroying things that Bulma worked hard at making?

She'd been about to use a scuba to deep sea dive, miles east of Kame House. It had only been dumb luck for Krillin to even be out this far, just searching for islands to train at that didn't have any people to be frightened by the loud commotion. His Master had sent him that way with a swat on the head after his pupil had ruined another stack of magazines from the force of the tidal waves he'd caused. It had taken just one glance at a distance for Krillin to know that she was holding the dragon radar.

He'd clutched the thing to his own body numerous times on Namek, had dreams about the green screen and nightmares where he'd drop it flying over a green sea only to drop it right into Frieza's hands.

"Bulma, what are you doing?" As though he couldn't piece together what her plan was. She'd been the only one to disagree with their decision to wait for the androids to arrive.

"Krillin. Hey there."

"Bulma. What are you doing?"

It was too late to even hide the radar. "What, this? Um. I really did want that lifetime of strawberries…and a decent boyfriend. I'm torn between choosing one or the other."

"So you're not collecting the dragonballs to stop Gero?"

"…"

"Uh-huh."

"Krillin, c'mon, I know you're not like those other—no, you know what, they are morons. I'm going to just say it. They are, and we know it. They're going to get everyone killed, those jackasses."

"Bulma, no. We agreed. As a group, we agreed to join together and fight those machines."

"It was a stupid decision. And you know it. Why don't you come with me? It'll be like old times?"

"I—" Yes, there were times in quiet moments of reflection where he wondered if they shouldn't go out and stop Gero now. Two more years and eight months, two more years and six months, two more years and one month, they will be here, and then we will fight for our lives again. Again, Kami help them if he could. A little more than two years now, and he could be dead right now alongside his friends. Sometimes he would almost dream of them, even if he had yet to set his eyes on them.

"We can't."

"Yeah, yeah. We need an enemy to keep us all together, huh? It'll be very comforting to know Vegeta has my back as we're all murdered by the androids."

"That kid, when he warned us, he gave Goku medicine, and told us to prepare ourselves to fight the androids right? But he didn't say to gather the dragonball and wish for them not to be created. Maybe there's a reason why. Maybe we do have to fight those androids?"

Her fluffy hair was moving in the light sea breeze, face turned upward. Even for such a beautiful woman, Bulma looked unbelievably gorgeous set against the blue sun and sea. Right. Beautiful and untouchable and Krillin almost wanted to just say yes to her demands, to follow her wherever, no matter the cost to himself or others. It would hurt, to fall back in love. "What, its fate? Krillin, he might not have even known about the dragonballs. Piccolo's dead in his timeline."

They had the chance, the choice to do this. The decision to follow her or stop her was Krillin's now. "It feels wrong to do this. Not just because Gero's innocent, but maybe things are different now. What if we stop him from making_ these_ androids, and he goes onto create worse ones?"

"That's why we'll ask the dragon where he is. Then we will stop him. Permanently."

Was it murder, to stop someone who you knew was going to be responsible for who-knows how many deaths? It would be murder yes, to kill someone, maybe someone deranged with revenge, but did that make it necessarily _wrong_? Could he stab someone in the back again with a sword, because he was afraid of what they _might_ do?

Or what if Gero was already dead, and that teenage boy with the sad blue eyes was mistaken? What if they used their wish, even followed through on it, only for them to have killed the wrong person? What if in two more years, peaceful years where no one trained really, the androids _showed up still_? They'd be caught just as unaware as that boy had tried to prevent.

"This feels wrong. I can't entirely explain it. So much could make things worse."

Regardless of those hypotheticals, Krillin could agree to what Bulma had said. There was _sense_ in what she was saying. The others wouldn't even be able to stop them from using the dragonballs on time. Maybe Goku, since he could now teleport. But even then they might beat him—_beat_ Goku? His best friend that had saved him a hundred times over the years, who had helped teach him to be a better person, good man? Betray his trust like that? To plot and lie to the man who was a hero to everyone on Earth, his friend that was responsible for so much of whatever inside Krillin was _good_?

Turn against his friends who trusted him to follow the plan they'd all agreed to?

"How could it become worse? More androids show up? Goku gets another virus?"

Worse. That was what Krillin feared. That he and Bulma would _worsen_ things. That he could in fact be responsible for his friends' deaths, and not just for being too weak to help. There was something in him, in the marrow that maybe was what made him a fighter, a good man, that told him to wait as though King Kai was broadcasting a message telepathically. A feeling. Hang on. Just hang on here.

"Maybe. We have to be careful. What if we change everything, and Piccolo ends up with the heart virus. Or Gohan.

"Let's just wait and see what happens. Maybe—maybe you can get started on that suit you were making? Then you can help us more with the androids. Besides emotional support. Really, I'm serious. I bet you could really help stop them."

Bulma's face was ivory and coral pink. Afraid. Wanting him to come up with an answer that would comfort her. This could be something if that boyfriend comment had meant something, if he could find words, he might be able to mean _something_ to her.

Worse. _Worse._

"We have to fight these things. That's that? There's no other options when it comes to this? We have to just pray and hope that Goku's strong enough? That's it?"

He could offer his heart up by only saying, "I'm sorry, Bulma. That's all I know. We should wait for the androids to show up and then decide on what to do."


	14. 326 thru 350

_**Author's Note:**_

_**In which Krillin has a love life outside of Juuhachigou (to everyone's amazement), our two heroes go to the Other World, Juuhachigou deals with domestic life, and sees a therapist.**_

_**As always, thanks for reading.  
**_

* * *

**326. I Can't Help Myself; I Love You and Nobody Else**

Krillin wanted her to handle it like he had a disease. Literally beyond his control. Out of his hands.

Shrugging, "Yeah, I love you."

All of her control went into not running away. She'd just been sitting there, enjoying his silence, when he'd popped that one out. All she'd asked was what he was doing, sitting on a rock on this miserable island. Completely nonsensical. Out of context. At the very least. "You can't just say things like that!

"Just because you're pathetic, and never had a girlfriend before—or any girl like you—not that I like you…"

"I too have had a girlfriend."

"You did?"

"Maybe even a couple?" Krillin teasing her was a terrible sight. "Okay. Maybe not. But I did have a girlfriend. And I have kissed a girl or two over the years."

"You're lying. I have no information on that."

"Why would Gero include that?"

"He was a disgusting man."

"True. Still, I don't think my love life would help you guys take over a planet." Krillin thought on that, his grin widening. "On the other hand…"

She was supposed to be a machine, and machines didn't blush or feel frustration or want to kill one of the fighters for making her feel that way. Wanting to kill Krillin was perfectly acceptable, but because he was weak. And annoying. And that smug grin justified so much rage in her. "Shut up. That was your own fault."

"It just worked out pretty well. That's all I'm saying. Even if you weren't playing some cruel game of chess with my feelings." Krillin dramatically pressed a hand over his heart, head down to almost hide his grin.

"I can murder you. None of your friends are here. They wouldn't even know."

"You can probably murder me in several different ways. All painful. You could just say that you don't like me in the least, and I'll go drown myself in that ocean over there. That doesn't change how I feel. I've cared for you ever since you kissed me. Then I definitely fell in love with you when trying to decide whether or not to use that remote."

Juuhachigou hid a smirk behind confusion. Indifference: that was the key. "When did I kiss you?"

"—what?"

"I don't remember that."

"You don't remember kissing me?" His face turned pained. "Seriously. You go around just kissing short bald guys a lot? And I thought I was_ special_."

"I think you're delusional."

"No, I definitely did not imagine you kissing me. That happened." Krillin crossed his arms, now _sad_. "It did."

"Stop trying to flirt with me."

"Me? _Me_ flirt with_ you_?" His mouth hung open comically. "You're the flirty one. Kissing me. Laughing at me on that island. For what, I still don't know."

"I do remember that. You look just like you do now." Juuhachigou cracked a smile.

His look was suspicious. "I think you do remember Miss Juuhachigou, that you kissed me. Right here."

"Now I'm 'Miss' Juuhachigou?"

"Seriously. Right here. And you're definitely the flirty one."

She kept that smile. "How long exactly were you standing there, wondering whether or not to shut me down?"

"Huh? Oh. Maybe…a few minutes."

"All over a kiss that didn't happen."

"It did! You're so mean."

The cyborg laughed. "That's what's mean about me?"

"You're lucky you're so cute when you laugh."

"Or what?" She put a hand on his chest, pushing just a little. Enough for him to wince and squirm. Juuhachigou nearly used a small amount of ki to better warn him, and so she could ignore the warm skin beneath his shirt.

"Or I might not like you so much."

Juuhachigou grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him in close enough to better see a scar on his temple. Close enough to whisper into his cheek that she'd kissed, "You have to know I don't love you."

**327. Squid**

"_Octopus head."_

"Enough with the seafood comparison. I really don't think I look like an octopus. Really. I just don't see it."

**328. If You Want Me, I'm Yours. And Even If You Don't Want Me.**

She literally ran away from him, Juuhachigou did. His last view of her was of a black vest, new and lined with wool, and the snow encrusted boots. Then the accordion door was slamming shut, and he could almost sense Juuhachigou's relief to be away, even as he almost heard her depositing change so the driver wouldn't throw her off. Not like last time, where she'd attempted to ride off away from him in a normal fashion, and had instead gotten kicked out of the cab by the irate driver, and had crashed right into Krillin's arms. Poor Juuhachigou, even though he adored her a little more for trying to live like a regular human, she was like a giant stuck amongst dwarves.

Krillin pressed his cheek to the bus, and because of his inhuman strength, as it took off, the metal siding did nothing more than slid noisily against his skin.

**329. I Think When Our Clothes Were On, We Had A Different Image of What This Was Supposed To Be**

He believed this was what could be called a one-night-stand. It had that awkward quality, as they both searched the ceiling for something. The walls were as pink in this room as downstairs, and the white ceiling was unblemished except for the glow-in-the-dark stars and posters he'd hung up when he was a teenager. The room he'd lived in for over ten years. For nearly twenty. She was the first to reach for their clothes in that heap.

"You cold?"

Juuhachigou flinched like he'd tried to hit her. "No. I'm leaving."

"Wait. Can we talk?"

"I don't think we have anything more to say to each other." She was trying to fix her hair after shoving it through the neck of a t-shirt.

"That's my shirt."

"Well. You ripped _mine_."

True, and the last thing he should really be worried about. He owed her that shirt, really. Who was he now to deny her a t-shirt? After all she'd done for him…And it was cute to watch her hop around trying to put her pants and boots on.

**330. I Have An Unnatural love for …**

Juuhachigou entered the therapist's office as soon as the last patient had left. Literally going through the door before they could close it. When the cyborg slammed the door shut, it made her nostrils flare and go white from the stress of what she was going to have to say.

"Why, hello, there, Juuhachigou."

"Yes. Hello." Saying 'doctor' had been nigh impossible. Which was barely something they'd touched on in their last session.

"How was your weekend?"

She could barely bring herself to sit down at the small leather seat before the lightly decorated desk. "Not well. That's why I'm here."

"Yes, I got your message. I made a special appointment for today. So, why don't you tell me what the problem is?"

At first, Juuhachigou had been completely unsure of whether or not to get a male therapist or not. Her problems, at least some of them, were male in nature, as in, they _involved _a male. A man telling her how to fix this problem might have helped. In the end though, she'd settled for a female doctor with credentials out the ass and lining the walls, and a discreet office in a place her brother would never tread. A woman might be more comfortable, after all, and able to give her useful advice. After all, she had her brother to talk to, and if he was any indication on any sort of male therapists, she needed a woman. Maybe a couple.

Getting here though was a pain since she had to take two subways, and then double back, all in a hat and heavy coat and sunglasses. How the therapist had kept that bland expression on her face all the while she waited for Juuhachigou to take the disguise off. The doctor must have thought she was dealing with a paranoid schizophrenic.

"I know. I know. But I have a crazy paranoid brother.

"_He's_ the paranoid one. Not me. I've caught him following me around, before. When. When I went someplace. To see someone.

"Although, he didn't see me. That's why I'm here. "

"Ehem. Maybe I should introduce myself."

"Er. Yeah."

"Please, sit down."

She'd gone easy with the cyborg thing, since that would have gotten her medicated, if not gotten her involuntarily committed to a psych hospital. And really, the anti-anxiety pills were bad enough. Only a few times had she ever taken them, not trusting even those in some blandly terrified way. But it had been impossible to otherwise deal with seeing _him _at the gas station.

Watching him refilled the tank to his car, humming a little under his breathe while he ran a card through the machine. Rubbing the back of his stubbly hair (was he growing it out for her? _Her_? Or someone else? And why did she care, how could she, god, stop) while she threw herself behind cars and ran and flew away. Getting home, ignoring her brother sitting before the TV in his underwear, and running to her room and downing a few pills, dry.

It had taken a full day before she was able to leave her room, and find her brother asleep, before the TV, and still in his underwear.

But that wasn't why she was here, today.

"I finally talked to him."

The therapist had spent years in training, at a top rated medical school, and was very expensive, understanding, and knew how to cut to issues immediately without seemingly pushing you. Her clients ranged from all types, and she'd even worked in a prison with serial killers for her thesis. More than any actor in any movie, she deserved awards for her skills at faking emotions. And even so, her eyebrows still raised involuntarily at this news.

"Yeah. That's why I'm here."

Juuhachigou had wanted to throw herself at all human help. White-knuckling it by herself wasn't helping, her brother worse than nothing, and if a lobotomy would help, then bring on the scalpel. So she'd gone to an all-night coffee house and asked for a phone book. The place had been so empty they'd even allowed her to smoke, and she'd been going there for so long they let her use the phone, for local calls. She'd tapped ashes into the cold cup of coffee, and had gone searching for a human therapist that might help make her feel somewhat normal.

Obviously, she wasn't _normal _and never would be. So maybe that was the wrong word. She needed to r_eevaluate _that word. What she wanted, so to feel _content_, at _peace _with herself and her decisions, to not wake up in the middle of the night from night terrors or in the mornings with a nonexistent grip tightening around her throat that squeezed the life out of her and made her know already that the day ahead of her would be one of the worse.

So far, it did seem to be helping. To just blurt out all the things crawling around her head with a stranger, who would nod and offer little things like, 'that's _completely_ sane, Achi.'

'Everyone has thoughts like that.'

And since the woman had worked with mass murderers when she'd been in grad school, who would know better about what was and what wasn't acceptable.

'That's not bizarre at all. We all feel that way, sometimes. The trick is not just to feel it in moderation, but to not act out on it. That's the important thing.'

This woman right in front of her was the only person who knew how she felt about _him_, and Juuhachigou didn't even want to kill her for that knowledge. That was a real breakthrough. Learning to trust. She was learning, slowly, to trust.

"I just remembered what you said. About not building him up in my mind, that he's a human being with thoughts and emotions as valid as my own."

"Exactly. You're both human beings, capable of the same needs and feelings and wants."

"..."

"You disagree?"

"I wouldn't describe myself as very _human._"

"Why not?"

I have metal parts in my head and a voice telling me to get his revengerevengerevenge and to kill Goku and how to fight the strongest beings on this planet. I am programmed. "I don't have the same thoughts and feelings as humans."

"_Having_ feelings and thoughts is human, Achi."

"What if you don't feel what others feel, or think?"

"How can you know what others think and feel?"

"I know it's not what goes through my mind. Especially not what goes through _his._ The only person who could understand is my brother."

"Your brother, who has been through the same thing as you have?"

"Yes. But he acts like nothing is wrong. It's hard to describe. But he's building our house and _never_ locks himself in his room to hide. He's the one that can go out in public."

"Some people are able to situations different. They have, you might say, different hardware. It's not your fault if you experience things differently from your brother."

Her mouth had gone frozen as the words 'hardware.' It took effort to blink. "Yes, I know that. I just wish I could act like he does. Even if he is a moron."

"Is it just you and your brother, at this house he's building?"

"Yes. Um. We had a...cousin. Who lived with us awhile. But that was awhile ago."

"Where does he live now? This cousin?"

"He died. About a year ago."

"I see. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's been a while. I didn't know him that well. He was very quiet. But my brother and I don't have any parents. I, I told you, I don't like this whole subject. I don't want to talk about 'father' issues."

"That's okay. We can talk about whatever you want."

"Well, this guy. I finally talked to him."

"Yes, and how did go?"

"It...could have gone better."

"Such as?"

I punched him in the eye. It was definitely easier to take him down a few notches, seeing him rolling around on the ground yelling. He was just about crying. All he'd said to me was hi, and smiled.

**331. Numbered**

They still had one more day, until the Cell Games. Tomorrow, he would get up, and maybe travel to spend the night back at Kami's Lookout. To meditate, to train. To speak with Dende again about their time on Namek. Maybe Trunks, the older one, would be there with a strained smile peeking through his worriment. Dressed as his father, See Piccolo's black eyes and green jaw tense some more.

Or at the Son's.

And then the day after, the-

Krillin crumbled to the floor, head bowed almost in prayer. A short man in a dark orange gi, in a room that had been his since he was still half a boy. He was supposed to be a grown man, not some weeping little boy. A fighter that helped to defend the entire Earth. He'd been to space and faced things that most people couldn't even imagine. For three years, Krillin had woken up with the knowledge that an apocalypse might be coming. After dying twice, the threat of death should have meant little.

The words curdled in his throat, unable to be spoken. His mind managed out, _not for me. I'm not all that upset because _I_ might die. _

So why was he crying?

**332. All the Pretty Things We Could Be**

"I suppose you can stay here." The stupidest words she'd ever uttered.

Krillin had grinned up at her, a bag slung over one shoulder. Then, shyly, had reached out to shake her hand. "Thanks, Miss Juuhachigou."

He looked so miserably short next to her. Probably needed help reaching the top drawers unless he floated up to grab them. Juuhachigou could shake that small hand without grimacing; he was nothing. Weak._ Goofy_. With no energy exerted at all, she could have him on his knees, crying and begging for her to end his life.

"I promise, I won't be a pain at all. It's really lucky I ran into you. I couldn't stay at Yamcha's…his girlfriend's over there a lot and I don't want to bother them. Not that I want to bother you, either.

"And Bulma has to deal with Vegeta at her house. And they're—well, I don't want to go into details. Chi-Chi's got the new baby to deal with.

"Of course, maybe you have your own stuff to deal with too. Like a husband. Kids?"

"Shut up. Keep your bullshit to a minimum."

Damnit, what was her brother going to say about all this?

But when she led Krillin into the kitchen, her twin Juunanagou just gave her a look at them both in a way that made the two feel guilty for absolutely nothing. "I don't want to see anything. That's all I ask."

**333**."**Please tell me she's still not terrorizing the planet."**

She'd been so focused on watching Cell and Vegeta fight—watching Vegeta beating Cell—that she'd nearly not seen them as they flickered into view. Short and tall. Orange. So much dark orange. A pair of large black eyes, set shorter than the other man's, both staring at her. Krillin was the less scared one, somehow.

That stupid haircut.

Every voice in her head told her to fight, to switch into defensive position, to fight back. To fulfill Gero's plans at revenge. As Juunanagou had wanted.

"This is Juuhachigou! Um. Hi." Stupidly, Krillin was raising his hands. To wave. "And I guess you know Goku."

"What—what are you doing here?" Her voice came out almost as pathetic as his wave had been.

"To save you? Maybe." Voice cracking, like he was even younger than her. "Goku can transport you away. From Cell. We have to leave though; Cell's going to be here any minute."

"_You._ What are you talking about?"

"Juuhachigou. We have no time. I'll explain later."

"You're going to save me from Cell? I thought you want to destroy us?"

"No. No, of course not. Maybe Vegeta and Trunks—but not really._ I_ don't."

"Is that right? Why is that?"

"You're nice! Deep down. Or, rather, you can be nice. If you just ignored Gero's programming, which you seem able to do since you, or I mean, your boyfriend killed him."

"My what?"

"Boyfriend. That _guy."_

"Him? You mean Juunanagou? He's my twin."

"_Oh_."

This might be worse than Cell. This awkward silence that ate them both up. They stared at each other, trying to find something to say. Were you trying to do something with me? Hoping I'd, what, hold your hand? Go_ out_ with you? Pathetic shrimp. What the hell was wrong with him? Idiot. With a head like an octopus.

"So. We should maybe leave now. Guys?

"Guys?"

**334. Every Time I Look At You, I Go Blind**

Despite how painful it was to get a Solar Flare in the eyes, at least he hadn't stumbled into Juuhachigou and made an even bigger fool of himself.

**335. You Wanna Marry But I'm Always a Mess**

It was after Buu, while they watched Marron run from the waves with the Turtle straggling behind with a seaweed wig on his head, that Krillin finally slipped a small velvet box to her. Literally pulled it from his pocket and pushed it to her with the tips of his fingers. She looked down at it, and then to the other man sitting beside her on the white porch steps.

"Oh. You bought me earrings. Is this a bribe?"

"It's not earrings, Juuhachigou."

"Then what is it? It better not be another trick gift. If a snake comes out of this, I will shove this so far up —"

"No. Just open it."

"This is a ring."

"A-yup."

She smiled as their daughter ran yelling back towards the waves, pretending to throw a destructo disk towards the ocean. "Did you buy this with the money we got from Hercule Satan?"

"Yes I did. Do you accept?"

"The ring? Sure."

"Aw. Alright." He pounded a fist into his other open hand. "Now we can get married."

"_What_?"

"Marron can be the flower girl and the ring bearer. It'll be adorable. Except for the buffet table, that will be a massacre."

"We're _getting married_? Why?"

"It might be nice. C'mon. Then I can call you my wife for real. Wear wedding rings."

"You want to marry me?"

"Why not? We're already shacked up and have a kid together."

"…and _you're_ the more romantic one?"

**336. Strange What Desire Will Make Foolish People Do**

He was obviously trying to flatter her, with all this. Taking her out shopping, complimenting her, spending hours helping her try on clothes even if his only response to her question over how she looked was a dopey look and a 'you look great. Perfect.' No one had ever done anything like this with her, as far as she could remember. Her brother couldn't even stand waiting a few minutes for her to get dressed in the mornings before whining and whinging over how bored he was.

But Krillin even carried her boxes for her.

Of course, he ruined this all by teasing her with playing 'Wicked Game' and claiming it to be 'their song,' on the jukebox, complete with singing along to it, until she shoved his head hard enough against the contraption to get his quarter back.

**337. Here She Comes, Better Watch Your Step, She's Gonna Break Your Heart In Two**

"I don't even care if this means I'm jealous! I don't care what that implies!"

They'd finally broken her down. All of them. Gnawing at her, pushing and prodding, you sure you're cool with Krillin dating another girl, oh, what's that, another girl, yeah, this is his second girlfriend, that other girl, um, well maybe she might show up and you two can meet formally?

Krillin himself had kept his hands open for her, eager to be seen as charming. And single.

What was she like, that other girl, his old girlfriend? Hot. With a big chest and an amazing ass, we have pictures, yeah, tan and with the long blue-hair, look at those boobs.

While Juuhachigou cringed and tried not to think new _self-conscious_ thoughts. Doubts really. She hadn't even shuddered much or punched the perverts completely through the wall when all of their gazes had trailed down to her own chest.

"I don't care_ anymore_."

She could make Krillin have a heart attack with just wearing a short skirt, but that hadn't stopped him from listening to his dumbass friends and going out to look for another woman. And finding one. Sure, she wasn't exactly uh, normal, that girl. With the pale green skin, and no way was that orange hair natural. That she was always pawing at it. With her stupid name.

"You helped start this! Now help me—"

It had been that Trunks fellow, she was sure. She could see the evilness in those blue eyes. His mother's eyes, and just as devious as her. If only he'd taken more after Vegeta…even if that made him a loud-mouthed jackass with dumb hair, he wouldn't have cared who Krillin ended up dating. She wanted to call Capsule Corp and just scream obscenities at that purple-haired weirdo. Or just go there and glare at him until he ran from the room, more afraid of her than even Krillin had been when they'd first met. He was lucky he no longer had that sword, that was all Juuhachigou had to say.

"Help me…"

They'd met while fighting each other. Since the gang that alien girl had been traveling with had set their sights on Earth, Krillin had been there on the front line. But she'd been betrayed, by her boss, and he'd helped save her. That was Krillin, always a saint to the downtrodden. He'd taken her to Dende, to save her, and somehow, she hadn't cared about his baldness or lack of a nose or stupid grin and nasally voice, and had instead only noticed the span of his shoulders, his expressive dark eyes, and how his joy was a sickening thing that spread like a disease and that he could forgive anything, Krillin.

Krillin, and just say her name, _Zangya_, had soon gone out. Begun _dating_. As far as the cyborg could tell, she'd just fluttered her eyelashes at him, and then asked him out. And he'd agreed, because Krillin was sad that way. Even though she was a murderer that had destroyed entire planets, she was_ cute_, and did not turn away from his yearning sad gaze.

Those creepy blue eyes read her up in one glance. As she'd sat there on Juunanagou's bright green beanbag chair she'd brought from her own home, to both annoy her twin and to avoid having to sit on a couch that was sat on to watch porn. Sitting there, eating a blue Popsicle, and feeling exactly six years-old. A dumb six year-old in baggy, black shorts meant for a teenage boy and a faded grey t-shirt of some band, watching a bad reality show while she had a music player and headphones in her ear. 'This is Juuhachigou. Nah, she doesn't live here. We're friends.'

Maybe a dumb fifteen year-old, as the other woman sized her up at that moment. Wearing adult clothes that were maybe too bright and obnoxious, but made her look mature.

Mature. Standing there, sputtering when not silent, Juuhachigou willed her eyes not to look at her chest.

…Damn Trunks a thousand slow deaths. What the hell had she even done to deserve this?

Then he'd gone skipping away with her. Holding hands, even while she laughed and rolled her eyes, fine, fine Krillin, if it makes you happy. Dinners were excruciating. There was kissing and laughing, and barely even noticing of her. She and the Pig would have complete conversations, mildly uncomfortable at first, then the old man had joined in, and somehow they'd gotten into a philosophical debate on the meaning of aesthetics and whether or not she was messing her ears up wearing those headphones. Right then should have been Krillin stepping into busybody her and henpeck and say with a blush and a refusal to look in her direction, that sometime beauty was just for beauty and shouldn't be questioned. Instead, he'd just fed Zangya carrots off his own fork. Then they'd nuzzled, to the disgust of everyone else at the table.

She, that Zangya woman, was living at Kami's Lookout, in-between hanging out here at all hours and annoying everyone else. Didn't she have a life outside of Krillin? Or did she in fact really breathe in as he exhaled and vice versa?

Long nights on the beach, doing what she didn't dare think about much. When she insulted him, it was with an easy smile. Krillin looked distressingly happy, and with not enough tan lines for her comfort. Really, where did that tan end, past the pants line, was he naked in the sun, lying on the sand-? No, enough.

Yet she still couldn't manage to tell even these slack-jawed perverts what her plans were. "You know."

"Yeah. We thought so." Oolong nodded sagely, then turned back to his stamp collection.

"I'm sorry, dear." Was there pity behind those stupid sunglasses that he wore even indoors? "It might be too late. They seem to like one another."

"Does he know that she's insane!? That's she's a monster! Not even human!"

"Yeah, but that's what we said about you."

"Shut up. I heard it only after I said it." Juuhachigou rubbed her forehead, trying not to look out onto the beach through the bay window. The sun was falling, and soon the two lovebirds would slip outside with unneeded sunscreen. Oh, god, what were they doing with that sunscreen?

Oolong grabbed his tweezers to shift a stamp right side up. "I didn't know Krillin had it in him."

The turtle hermit rubbed at his beard, a gesture that no longer annoyed Juuhachigou as much. "I guess he wasn't lying when he said he made out with Launch at that Christmas party."

"_Who_?" There was nothing she could do for her distraught tone in her voice.

That kiss had been just to tease him, hah, you think I'm pretty. But did he? And who had been teasing whom? What if she'd misread him all along, and he really had been nice with no intention whatsoever of trying to get into her pants, not truly. Not anymore.

"Hey. We're on your side. I think. She_ did_ chip in for groceries…"

"She's going to hurt him. Somehow ruin his life. What if she gets pregnant? Can they even have a kid? Because he wants to start a family, you know. They probably can't even get married."

Master Roshi took his sunglasses off for the first time in her company, and rubbed beneath his eyes.

She—Juuhachigou-hadn't been trying to date Krillin, but maybe that was the problem.

**338. But if I Think Things Through Long And Hard Enough, I'll Somehow Get to You**

Juuhachigou decided not to brood on it. So what if she'd been pushed out the front door (if playfully) with nothing more than leftovers. That was no reason to be depressed because that pathetic shrimp with his stupid growth of struggling dumb hair had rejected her. Unknowing, surely. Sure. If he'd had a true hint of what she'd wanted, he would have dragged her upstairs rather than hand her Tubaware full of cake and cold pasta salad. Too much subtlety for a man like Krillin to understand.

This she clung to, as she tugged open the plastic lid and tried the cake.

"Idiot."

* * *

Krillin woke up in the dead of night, hand reaching for his mouth, feeling the rough unshaven growth of hair he'd decided to grow as a spur of the moment decision. How he could do that, but overanalyze everything else…except, except. He'd spent less time deciding to grow out his hair on even his face than what Juuhachigou might have meant. His hand traveled upward to yank at the short strands, in frustration.

"Dende. I think she was coming onto me."

**339. It Was An Easy Dare**

Krillin stared down at the belt tied around his thigh, and thought about his career choice. Being a kickass spy agent sounded so cool. Who would turn down the chance?

And now he was going to bleed out right here, in this dark alley surrounded by dead apartment buildings, while cold sweat ran down his face, and the old echo of Vegeta's laughter in his ears as he told Krillin that no way was he not going to die out there. Probably slowly. And painfully. Now get his ass through that heating vent right now, or he'd die slowly and painfully right here because Vegeta was sick of looking at his face.

Before that, further back, he and Yamcha and Goku who had a trouble filling out the paperwork, all in nice suits. Easy smiles as they informed the blue-haired federal agent with her annoyingly raised eyebrow that they could handle anything out there. That they hadn't been at all afraid of the black and white forms filled out, over and over again, informing them that the government was no longer held liable for injuries/death, as the agent gave a red-lipped smile at Yamcha and informed them all that if they spoke of any government secrets, she would personally see that their balls were removed and shoved down their throats. Given the mention of 'no longer official citizens of their government', stripped of the entitlement of rights, the punishment sounded very literal. Straightening her black pencil skirt, still quirking a smile, as Yamcha and Krillin swallowed and tried not to make eye contact, and Goku broke his pen to stain the suit Chi-Chi had fostered on him. _'Awww_.'

At least he would not suffer that fate. Or face what his best friend had coming home with his only good outfit ruined.

All because he'd turned his head to look at the jean-clad women with startlingly pale eyes, stared at her with the sudden realization that he was definitely alone at the drop spot, that she was not a member of Frieza's knee-breaker-bag-of-cement gang that had nearly killed Vegeta, (one of their trainers) and this was definitely the Red Ribbon spy that was not supposed to be here. Then missed the dark-haired boy coming out of the shadows with a white smile that matched the gleam of his knife.

The cargo pants with their pockets that both Bulma, the federal agent, and Vegeta, had mocked him for were growing darker and heaver; never before had he emptied a shoe of blood. The belt he'd taken, hiding disappointment at the lack of utility pockets on it, didn't seem to be doing enough. Shouldn't have been out here, alone.

They'd find him here, maybe Vegeta and Piccolo smoking cigars and quieting saying that they'd known all along he was too soft for this job, Bulma flirting with a distraught Yamcha and screaming at Vegeta for being insensitive, while Goku wept and tore at his hair and vowed vengeance. Of course, he wasn't the _hero_, he was just a supporting character that was meant to die, the witty best friend a martyr to the cause. Held no longer as a waste of skin, but a waste of chance.

The graffiti the last thing he'd see…cruel to have them depicting parts that had been threatened for removal if he fucked this up. The sweat chilling his body reminded him of cold mornings on the training field, nearly breaking his ankles every day on the tire segment, unable to climb the wall until someone shoved him upward, the bruises and scabs, the callouses, the strained camaraderie that he'd wanted more than Krillin had believed.

"Oh, for—you're still here?"

The voice, girlish and pissed, made Krillin jump and turn around. Blink in the dim light, allow hope, hands sticky with blood around the belt. "Bulma?"

"Who? Is that your girlfriend? So is this the part where you share a dying wish to be united with your one true love?"

"Are you here to finish me off?"

"I really hope that wasn't a proposition. Because bald short men aren't my thing."

Every time Krillin swallowed, his head seemed to feel a little lighter. "But men bleeding in alleys are?"

He received that knife smile again. On her, it looked just as terrifying, if a little more attractive. Every step was somewhere between a girlish bounce and a woman's saunter. "How about this: I help you, free of charge? Just this once, though."

"I won't spy for you!"

"I didn't say that. I'll give you this First Aid kit, and even call your friends for you. On the phone." She held out his cell phone, grabbed as he'd fallen, reaching for his bleeding leg.

**340. Don't you know it's you that I adore, though I make the boys fall like dominoes**

After Maron, Krillin was evenly more acutely aware of his shortcomings when it came to women. There were many, many men with a lot more to offer pretty girls that he was/wanted to date. From the difference in money to height, he had to say he was not very high up on the attraction food chain.

So when Juuhachigou told the poor bastard with his annoyingly perfect nose and sculpted hair to 'screw off before she broke his arm,' Krillin tried not to be completely bowled over. Almost literally, stumbling over his feet and really not helping his fluttering self-esteem. Those blue eyes focused on him, taking his bristly hair and bright t-shirt and moving down the short distance to his feet. He was forced to act normal, going on about nothing, feeling taller than normal.

If she didn't like that guy, then what-

And then later sneering at the flustered young man who'd sold them their movie ticket. Even Bulma flirted, especially if it might mean a free drink. Bulma, the women he'd had a crush on for years. The woman that had never looked at him beyond some annoying little brother, one that had never grown up, even.

"You know." If there was one thing Krillin was good at, it was shooting himself in the foot. "That guy probably wanted your number?"

"What?"

"Your phone number."

"…why?"

"To date you."

Juuhachigou was making a disgusted face. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Well, he was pretty good-looking.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"_No_. And you're single."

"I don't want some _boy_."

"Oh. You want a man." Krillin woke up every morning well aware of his flaws, but had rarely felt so keenly aware of his inadequate dimensions, the large eyes that no one had ever gotten lost in, that he was not wearing a borrowed leather jacket from Yamcha, but instead wearing a dumb t-shirt. Conscious of his unattractiveness, and how young he could appear. Gohan was getting taller than him, much taller.

She looked immediately uncomfortable. "No, stop it. I definitely don't want some kid."

"That makes sense. A mature man, with a good job."

"I—shut up. I'm not seeing anyone."

"Never said you were, Juuhachigou. Just that, well, if you were in the future…if you decided to date someone, they would probably be the tall, dark, handsome type." Krillin couldn't not smile over that. It hurt, to think of her with another man, but only felt right. Juuhachigou was a clever, fabulous, startlingly beautiful woman who had made him throw himself at a monster even after she was no longer technically alive. She could drive even a better man than him to desperation.

"Maybe." She was biting her thumb nail, a dizzying sight that he had to focus on. "Maybe the dark type."

"Oh? Is there a guy you like?" Oh damn, of course, duh, she was young, and plenty available, even with the android thing. She'd have no problem dragging around a dozen guys on leaches. Have her pick of the litter.

"I don't know. Don't ask me things like that." A glowering look beneath a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "I'm not exactly the type to go on dates."

"Why not?"

"Humans are all weak cowards anyway. For the most part."

"You can meet someone nice. Charming. I don't know. 'Dark'?"

"I'm not interested in some moron that fills out a t-shirt but can't finish a sentence."

"'course not."

She should be with someone younger and richer and handsomer. Like Trunks. Future Trunks, not the baby version. Yeah, he was pretty good-looking, especially considering he had half of Vegeta's DNA. Sad blue eyes. And he'd gone with Krillin and Master Roshi and Oolong to see those girls at that beauty contest, so he did like women. Plus he was strong, and women liked that in a guy. And he was tall. With nice hair.

Of course, they'd have to overcome the fact that she'd nearly killed him repeatedly in the future (along with just about everyone else on the planet). But that might add a bit of romance. Future Trunks was a kind guy. Maybe he could grow to like her, even if he currently looked at her with enough hatred and disgust to make even Juuhachigou (who didn't care about what Vegeta said) uncomfortable. So what if he sometimes would ask if Krillin needed someone to destroy that android, wasn't he sick of her company, why was he protecting her so much?

Still, Future Trunks was tall and had a nice nose, and she should at least go for a guy like that.

Krillin had fallen in love with her thinking she was dating Juunanagou, so he couldn't fully say he had ever believed he stood a chance. Even if she had been single…definitely not.

He'd nearly tuned out of Juuhachigou's brief rant that had turned on herself, full of self-hatred that tore his heart in half.

"…You'd have to be a masochist to like me."

"That's not true! I like you." But not that way, no, yes, alright, but I won't ever act out on that.

"Well. You do rush onto the battlefield despite not being strong enough to ever help."

"I guess. But still. I'm not a masochist. And you don't have to be a masochist to like you, Juuhachigou."

She raised an eyebrow. Really?

"Don't talk about yourself like that. Please." Lamely, Krillin patted her hand. How could she say that about herself, this bright amazing woman with gorgeous eyes and the ability to inspire men to throw themselves off bridges for her? Even her insults were to be cherished. "Any guy would be lucky to be with you."

There was a tic beneath her eye. "Really?"

"Of course."

A brilliant blush spreading across her nose. Something desperate in those growing blue eyes. "Maybe this is just from spending too much time with your Master watching TV, but, Krillin, are you feeling lucky?"

**341. Pretend That You Love Me**

Krillin might be desperate, and a fool, and half in-love with this girl already, but was well aware that she had no real interest in him. He was just a stepping stone to whatever she wanted. A new purse maybe, or another ice cream cone or a guy with a yacht. So what if she smiled so sweetly at him.

He'd saved her from those guys on the beach just out of a sense of honor. There definitely hadn't been any ulterior motive, no matter how cute she looked in that bathing suit. A woman screaming on the beach for help, with no one around but those leering guys—it would be a less nice guy than Krillin's blood boil. 'I think you guys need an attitude readjustment.' Not a great line, but it made him feel better for saying it. They hadn't stood a chance, and for a moment the bald man actually felt heroic and brave again. He _could_ defeat some evil out there, and save someone.

And she'd, she'd been so sad, with those cloudy gray eyes, the color of an overcast sky. Then blinking the long eyelashes while he stood there in his swimming trunks that allowed him to feel sand flying up them when the wind came by. Maybe she'd been crying because of the sand…"You_ saved_ me."

"Oh. I guess." She looked familiar, this girl. "Are you alright?"

There was definitely eyelash fluttering, but he still didn't fully know the cause. "I am _now_. What's your name?"

"Krillin."

"I'm Maron."

Pretty name. But then, he was already lost. It was a dumb, dopey feeling. Just by looking at her, seeing her smile at him. A little similar to how he felt about his oldest female friend, but less hopeless.

"You're cute."

"Uh. Thank you?" Cute like a puppy, a harmless asexual non-attractive puppy?

It still might be better than thinking about him like an annoying little brother like Bulma did. Dismissing him with those passionate blue eyes that showed mostly a vague friendliness, or frustration for one of his many flaws, oh, Krillin you dork.

He couldn't compare with any of the guys the blue-haired woman would drool over, even if only the posters or guys in the mall that she'd flirt with only to find them boring or dumb or both. Especially not with Yamcha, who was so tall and handsome and older and smooth and knew how to talk to girls now. While Krillin stumbled around stuttering and desperate. Even if he wouldn't feel like betraying his friend's trust by moving in on his woman, and if Bulma didn't like Yamcha anymore, she would still want someone dangerous and exciting.

Krillin spent most nights not at the club or hanging out with some celebrity like Yamcha could do, but playing cards with Oolong or Scrabble with Master Roshi or sparring with Goku or just having tea and curling up with a good book. For all the adventures in space and dying twice, he couldn't say his day-to-day life was all that thrilling.

Maron even looked a little like Bulma. But Bulma had never touched him, let alone commented on his muscles. Which he'd never thought anyone would really find attractive. Let alone touching his head and saying how adorable he was with that shaved head. "Wo-ow. You're so strong."

"So, you wanna get something to eat?" he gibbered. That swimsuit was so small and tight.

"Sure."

He wasn't so dumb as to think she felt exactly the same.

Maron smiled at him, reaching out to touch his hand.

But maybe she could love him. Weirder things had happened after all.

**342. It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas**

Gohan had been waiting two months, three terms papers, six trigonometry quizzes and a chemistry test for this. Despite his Mother's warnings, it really was warm on the tropic island. No need for the sweater and jacket she'd fostered on him and Goten. "Hey, everyone!"

"Gohan! Hey, buddy." Krillin gave him a hug on cue, then pulled back with a grimace. "Now just about everyone's definitely taller than me."

Juuhachigou appeared to be trying to hide behind a handmade scarf.

His Mom did a double-take, there to rarely being a girl on the island that wasn't Bulma or herself. "Who are you? What are you doing—

Then her voice became sympathetic. "Did something happen to your boat? Are you stuck here? We could give you a ride back to the mainland."

Their usual joke gifts were being worn already, including their new guest. She looked completely embarrassed while the other guys didn't even seem to notice anymore how ridiculous they looked. It was nice to see her, that she was getting along with everyone, and it explained why Krillin had been so happy lately.

"Hi there Juuhachigou."

"So." Chi-Chi said slowly. "You're one of them."

The blonde woman went even paler. "One of what? What exactly am I? Like _them_?"

**343. Are You Giving Me A Dirty Look In the Rearview **

She'd been fairly certain she'd never see that stupid van again. Left it right there at the Son's house. With the doors still open and the keys left in the ignition. Someone would take it, Juuhachigou had thought. Of course someone will take a free car.

Right now, she just needed to blink and hope reality shifted itself again.

She stood there on that road, a young woman in blues and greys, slim and only of average height, with her eyes closed.

And for once, the universe listened to her, because when she opened her eyes again, Krillin was sitting up and smiling at her. For once, or maybe not for the second time, he was the one to properly start the conversation. "Hi there."

The murmuring voice annoyed herself. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought you a present." Then the short man leaned forward to open the door.

**344. Treat Her Like A Lady**

They woke up with his mouth still plastered to her ear. "Uh?" Then the two were rolling away from each other, trying to separate limbs. Fix their hair, and remember how to form words. Pushing down her sheets that Krillin would clean when he'd come over, seeing nothing wrong with doing her laundry.

"Where are my clothes?"

As usual in the summer, he only yanked on his underwear and stumbled downstairs to make coffee. Pulling her awake as well, despite how much she preferred to sleep-in. Only when he wasn't here, an increasingly rare event, was she able to pull a pillow over her head and block out the light. With Krillin, she didn't need an alarm clock, and could already hear him in the kitchen messing with plates and coffee filters.

"Toast okay? Eggs?"

And he wouldn't take no for an answer. Would go to her and practically sit on her and bug her over her dietary choices, didn't she know how important breakfast was? Her own annoying monogamy nightmare that would grab her wrists and tease her over not yet being dressed. That sometimes still had corkscrew in his hair and morning breath. Not even a shower would displace him, since Krillin saw nothing wrong with hopping inside and asking for Juuhachigou to pass the conditioner. 'Want me to wash your back?'

When it stopped being as sexual as the first time, and more comforting instead, she knew she was stuck.

Then he would hustle her out and dry her off, all professional.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"What, and leave my girlfriend to catch a cold? That's not very gentlemanly."

Her voice always dropping to become husky, whenever they'd play one of these games. "Neither is where your hand is right now."

**345. Surprise!**

She took another left, and saw a door with lights on. Juunanagou tended to treat classroom lights as a vampire might, and wouldn't bother her if there were other people around—only hiss and raise his bandana to better cover his face as he fled into the darkness. Juuhachigou slipped down the aisles of desks, going to the back of the class. Excuses popped into her head, I'm only sitting in, sorry I must have the wrong class, yes, that's my name, I didn't hear you the first time.

It was bad enough that her brother wanted to play the college student, but worse was that she thought it might be fun too. Right now it was something she regretted. College might have brought out the worse in them, since their cruel if not permanent jokes that any roommates might share had gotten out of control.

Juuhachigou could nearly see her twin running the halls with the marker still staining his face even at this dusk hour. Wanting revenge. Thank whatever powers that she had unlimited energy to dodge his blows.

Then she realized that the man standing at the doorway had been taking double takes before slowly creeping towards her and taking the seat next to her. If there was one place he'd thought to never find her, it was in a…creative writing course? Clearly.

Damnit, if only it had been a history class about an uninteresting period with a professor that was waiting only to retire. Then he would have gone on and on while she sat peacefully and plotted her way out of the building.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could really ask the same."

She wanted to run, or at least change seats. Yes, this man is harassing me. Stalking me. Call Campus security. Now.

Only Krillin would look so upset, that she just didn't want to deal with it. He might somehow tell her brother where she was.

"I'm only here to avoid Juunanagou."

"Huh? He's here too?"

"Sort of." At least she would sometimes attend classes. Real classes. Juunanagou only went with her to movie criticism lectures and then they would get into overwrought arguments about Lynch and what qualified something for an anti-Marxist statement. Always in coffee shops, which pleased them both as they smoked clove cigarettes and laughed at themselves, but really, do you think Zizek was right about what he said about _Alien_?

"You two are going to school?" From his grin, he clearly thought this was just _adorable_.

"What are you doing here? Harassing coeds?"

"Wha-of course not. I really do want to learn how to write. Bulma offered to pay for my tuition." He shrugged, looking unsettling in his sweater and jeans. "Have you taken a writing class before?"

"No. I can't say I have. Why are you even trying to learn to write?"

"I was just curious. I'm retired now. From fighting."

Less than a year ago, she was being prepared, being prepped, to defeat this man. Now she had to borrow paper and a pen from him to take notes. To listen to the professor, and to leave little notes on his paper and his hand about what she thought of this class, while Krillin would shyly smile and mutter his own comments to her. "'Most embarrassing moment.' Hah. Which one."

**346. I Like The Way You Comb Your Hair**

Somehow, despite having just been awakened shortly ago, she had more experience with men than he had with women. Somehow. Because Krillin didn't seem to understand that he shouldn't borrow her shampoo or jump behind her to pet her head and say that he really wanted to try her conditioner where had she hidden that stuff anyway, and if she thought he should spike his hair or part it or what?

Eventually, she controlled her blush and removed his hand from her hair. "Why are you asking me?"

"You have the best hair in the house. Easily."

**367. Never Was Much Of A Romantic**

When Juuhachigou fell in love with Krillin and then later realized what this emotion that made her want to rip his arms off, and then hug him and make him feel better, it was crippling. To understand there was a person that she wanted, that she needed in such a way, it paralyzed her into giving him long hugs when no one was around, to glare at other woman when they were in public and one of them was looking at him too long, and to find excuses to spend time with him, unable to say exactly how she felt while spooning him as he felt asleep.

Were there really any words necessary for such an act?

What if she didn't need to say anything, and could instead just hold his hand to let him know how she felt? That how she felt was just this tenderness as she felt that heartbeat beneath her ear as she used him as a pillow. That she would wake him up by combing his hair with her fingers and kissing his cheek. She'd even made him breakfast, slipping quickly into his lap when the turtle hermit was out of the room, and informing him that his coffee now had to come with a kiss.

Sickening, if it didn't feel so wonderful to use him as a pillow and have Krillin informing her about how beautiful she was, how amazing it was to have her so close, could he borrow her hair conditioner, because her hair felt so wonderful, hey, I'm not messing it up, that's just your imagination, it still looks gorgeous even, how is that possible.

Krillin had to know exactly how she felt. So Juuhachigou could just crawl into his bed as he lay there with a book, bemused by whatever expression was on her face, and say exactly how she felt about him.

"Can we make out now?"

**348. Belle of the Ball**

When her brother said he found a great place to live in, Juuhachigou heaved a sigh and wondered what dump it would be in next time. Perhaps, literally. It wouldn't be the first time.

She could still remember looking at him, in shock and confusion. "Live here? Juunanagou." She, gently, as though not to rattle whatever was broken in the first place in his head, shook him by the shoulder. "Juunanagou, this is a dump."

"So? We've got camping supplies."

He pointed to a pile of discarded toasters and ovens and Televisions. "Our brethren!" And Juuhachigou was forced to chase him around a pile of abandoned blow-up dolls and porno tapes. Playfulness and laughter eventually died out, and eventually she tossed him into a pile of random refuse and diapers. He agreed to search for something more 'inside the city.'

This time, Juunanagou led her to an abandoned manor surrounded by forgotten fields far not too far from West City, like he'd said. Her surprise was pleasant, for perhaps the first time in the history of her life. The roof could have used some work, and of course a paint job was needed to replace the peeling red and off-white paint barely hanging onto the building. But it was better than the dump, by leaps and bounds.

Inside, it was dirty and full of crumbling plaster and falling-down waterlogged wallpaper. Most of the rooms were empty but for a select few. One was full of rotting magazines that came to the ceiling in tottering stacks, the other containing solely a musty loveseat. Mattresses, stacked an untidy pile, some still in their plastic wrapping were found.

Of course, when they found a huge ballroom that could have fit a hundred guests easily. Again, the faded cream and blood was found inside.

"Wow. Look at all this."

"Clearly, we're going to have to throw a party."

"Well, looks like our guests are already here."

"Yes, let me get my grease hors de oeuvres."

"Don't forget the spring pasta."

"The oil pan pizza."

"Good one."

"I guess it's good that we can joke about all this." And then they both sighed.

"Well, I guess this place won't clean itself."

But it would have to. Both she and Juunanagou couldn't bring themselves to actually clean the place up. It was too depressing, and would have admitted they were actually living here rather than biding their time.

Her brother often rode a stolen motorcycle through the marble floors, and rather than scold him, she just yelled at him and told him it was her turn. Together, they tossed crystal wine and brandy glasses into TVs to hear the bulbs inside bursting with a satisfactory crash and tinkle of glass. Rotting wood was pulled down, and used as play swords, the more nails sticking out the better. Then they threw illegal fireworks bought at a stand at each other. Everything was too moldy to burn.

When her brother found a nest of rodents living in the crumbling bathroom with its falling in roof, he waited until she was in the freezing tub trying to bathe using the recent rainwater collected and water bottles from the grocery store to reveal them. Her shriek made more of the drywall fall inward.

Old speakers were found and set up, and eventually a stereo was discovered so they could at least listen to the radio. Stained mattresses were burned in the ruin of the private library, and her brother conducted a huge labyrinth of a maze for his beloved rats out of the piles of magazines.

After a week, there was a knock at the door. Juuhachigou looked up from the bits and the shell of a television she'd been trying to fix. She didn't care much for the idiot box, but it was better than watching her idiot brother trying to name the sixty or so disease-carrying rodents in the walls. How he could tell the difference between them, if he even could tell the difference, was a mystery still. When he'd run out of normal names, he started naming them after the fighters, and that was enough for her. Watching other people, stupid people she was not related to and didn't live with, would be a relief.

But when she went to the entrance hall, she found the door already opened.

Leaves blew in. She turned on heel to find her brother in the library. "Juunanagou, why did you leave the front door open? Isn't this place wrecked enough?"

He stared at her. "I thought _you _opened it."

"…well, that's not at all alarming."

Juunanagou stared at the rat in his hands thoughtfully. "Maybe Juurokugou here opened it?"

"…did you name other rats after—"

"Yes." Her brother stroked the rat for a long moment. "I ran out of other names."

"I hear something," she realized. "In the living room."

A figure stood there, short and with shorn black hair. Familiar, in some way. They all screamed at each other, and ran in opposite directions. It was only after she and her brother (still holding that rat) had ran into the kitchen and shut the crumbling door did she realize that she knew that round face, if not the dark hair.

"What the fuck?"

She realized immediately how pathetic it was to be scared of him. Both and her brother. She almost said something, only to realize that her twin had disappeared somewhere. Probably off, telling his rodent minions that the time has come men, to fight as an army, this is what they'd trained for. Her imagination had gotten out of control.

"Juuhachigou?" The person called behind an old couch. "Juunanagou?"

Krillin? "Krillin? What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?!"

"We're staying here."

"Oh. Well. My friend Yamcha lives around here, or he has a house around here, and he helped clean up around the neighborhood. Then we got this call that someone was staying here, some kids having a party…well, Yamcha was busy, so I came to check up on things. You really scared your neighbors, I hate to tell you."

"Oh." Juuhachigou shrugged.

He was laughing. "It's like you two have a clubhouse."

"Well, if you're going to make fun of it, you can help clean it up." She threw a waterlogged phone book at him, half of which actually reached him.

"Eh. Alright. Where's your twin?"

"I prefer not to know."

"…you realize a rat just ran by, right?"

"Yes. I think it was Juurokugou."

"…you know Juurokugou's dead right?"

Her voice was colder than the water she had to bathe in. Too long she'd been immersed in this insanity; it had attached itself to her, and now she had to explain it to an outsider. "My brother named them."

"Okay. That's okay. Nothing weird-"

"Shut up. I can't make him stop doing it."

"So. What's first, boss?"

"Find me a TV."

Krillin nodded importantly. "I can do that. Unless you mean inside here. That might be harder."

"No. I looked."

"Where are you sleeping?"

"Not with you."

"I didn't mean like that!" He waved his hands around.

She sat there on the stairs, watching him panic. "Or maybe you can be my entertainment."

"Hey. Should I be insulted?"

"Juunanagou has his pets, and so should I."

"Cruel boss." Krillin gathered magazines, shooing away rats that had grown bold.

"And you're not getting paid, or any health insurance."

**349. Where Are You?**

**(Author's Note: I always wondered what happened in Other World to Juuhachigou and Marron. Everyone else was shown but them, and it made me wonder if there was an actual Heaven Nursery and why Juuhachigou wasn't elsewhere preparing to fight Buu alongside Krillin) **

She had never died before. Not even when Cell had engulfed her and her brother. She had been spat out—saved. This time, her on-coming brush with oblivion came when she was holding her daughter, knowing that her husband was dead or dying, and that any moment so could Marron, no matter what she did—

What had happened came rushing back as she took in the yellow clouds, floating there, bored, furious. Once you got over the surprise of dying, there wasn't a lot up here to hold your attention. No, instead you could just wait and suffer and let your mind wander and ask questions like, 'where is my daughter, where is Marron, did she die too, where is Krillin, where are the others?'

It did not help her swallow her rage and fear. Was there anything more terrifying than a mother losing her child? Was this her punishment? Krillin had no memory of his time in the Other World, and they'd never really discussed what might happen should she die. Considering how safe everything had been for the past seven year, and with her not aging like a human being, it hadn't, it hadn't been her biggest concern.

What if she was lost somehow? What if there was some Kai, Grand Supreme Elder or some other ridiculous title, judging her. Or had finished judging her, and this was her punishment. Never see her family again, or her reluctantly

"There you are." The man was wearing ridiculous tiger stripe pants that didn't go well with his blue skin in the least. He held up his clipboard like a doctor would a patient's file. "Now you are an interesting case. Hm. Doctor Gero, huh?

"Well, now you just have to go through your penance, and that's that."

"That's—" Her eyes widened. "And then what? I can join my daughter? Join Krillin?"

"You have a choice. You were once a fighter. You can go onto that big gym in the sky, or you can go to the nursery to be with your daughter."

"I have to decide on one or the other?" Forever? What if Goku lost his fight, what if this was it and there would be no returning to Earth.

"At least until this mess is figured out. You Earth fighters nowadays don't seem to spend much time here on Otherworld anymore." A little giggle.

Krillin would understand. He would. Of course you went to go with Marron. He'd do the same, but while weeping bitterly and shamelessly. She wouldn't cry in front of some_ stranger_. Especially one that smiled with such amusement as they watched her. "I won't be able to see Krillin again?"

"Oh. I don't know about that." If his hair had been longer, the creature would have been twirling it around a finger. "Maybe something could be arranged?"

"Such as?"

"You'll see." A shrug. "Everyone has their own personal penance."

"Not Krillin." She was sure that the fighter had been waved on ahead to whatever heaven there was. A fighter's version, maybe. But he'd gotten deferential treatment, regardless. "He has nothing to repent."

"Nothing?"

"Oh, maybe something he thinks he should feel bad for. But he's the most frustratingly nice person on Earth. Really, if you have a chart somewhere, he's up near the top." For all she knew there really did exist such a thing. Like something from Santa Clause Krillin would tell Marron about during the holidays. 'Rain deer?' Then they would sing Christmas carols until everyone else in the house was either singing along, or going out of their mind insane.

"Where are we now?"

"Limbo," the creature said. "Now, let's get this penance over with, huh, Missus Juuhachigou."

The dark cliffs and valleys filled with sharp stones, snowy mountains set further back, they were right there before Juuhachigou and the horned demon-helper. The smell of fresh air, the best she'd breathed in outside of salt air that trickled in from the open windows at Kame House in the morning with the smell of breakfast downstairs and hearing the TV and Marron and Master Roshi having a serious discussion on what show to watch as Krillin laughed for her. All there, swirling before them like on TV show without the screen, spreading out until they were _there_, standing at the side of the road that she sometimes saw in her dreams. Of course no one there in this memory or vision could see them.

The horned demon cupped his hands and shivered dramatically.

Hadn't she seen this sort of thing before, on commercials? Juuhachigou's Greatest Hits. Literally. This was Limbo? For her, anyway?

She laughed, still, at the sight of Vegeta clutching his arm. "I'm supposed to feel bad about this? I was only defending myself."

"But you got such _joy _from it. Ouch."

"Have you met the man?"

"And that poor gentleman there?"

"He was in my way. Again, they started it. He came at me with a _sword_." She made a show of crossing her arms and looking away. "They were rude, and didn't even bother starting a real conversation."

It was over faster than she could recall. And it still made her feel some pride at seeing them like that. The best the planet had to offer, at her feet.

Except for…

Back when he was bald, and terrified of her. Rather than the dark, shaggy-haired man that would poke her nose when she was angry and inform her seriously that she was _too cute_ when she made that face. Sorry. I bet as a kid you looked like a female Denise the Menace. It's adorable.

Pleading with her, intense, she'd forgotten how scared he was exactly at _that _moment. She could have at least punched him a little, or kicked him down there to join his friends. He was completely unprepared for her.

"He was brave. In his strange way."

"Awwww." Sharp teeth like Piccolo's revealed themselves. "Your little gentleman. For someone who was supposedly going to kill everyone on the planet, you have a thing for nice guys."

"Shut up. I was teasing him. For being so weak. Or for being smart enough to not fight us. I don't remember which."

"Look. You even spared the rest of them."

"Yes, I was a saint even then," she mocked. "Get on with the point."

Her back at Kame House,_ them_ back at Kame House, standing on the hard dirt and loose sand. The island still tiny and the house still pink, her in that outfit that she had liked quite a bit, even if now it reminded her of Cell. Piccolo snarling at them, with Juunanagou smirking and Juurokugou smiling. Krillin was stumbling out, wide-eyed and-mouthed, looking at her with nothing much going through that shiny head. How flattering, how funny that had been, and Juuhachigou watched herself fly away in a flutter of blonde hair and curled legs. There had been nothing very complicated in her life at that moment; she was there just to kill the fighters if they interfered with her plan to kill Goku.

What had she thought of him, Krillin, then? Of course she hadn't thought, _that right there is the man I will one day marry and have a child with_. But there had been something, some future tense word that had passed her mind. Maybe something along the lines of 'I'll kill him last. Maybe.' But she'd definitely had a plan for him. She would go to some island, and watch her brother beat then kill that Namek, and then go back to Kame Island, and what? Screw him into the side of that dumb pink house? Probably not.

She did miss those pearls…At least he had never seen her in that hideous cowboy outfit, at least she'd run into him after that.

On that nothing island, the trees green and the small hills she'd hidden besides a pale brown. Krillin, looking at her, pointing that remote with its button the color of old blood. Face sweaty, eyes seeing her while she could only look straight ahead at Cell. Hopeless, the both of them. Like lambs to the slaughter. She watched him, lost his memories, eyes turning from chards of ebony to their usual soft black velvet.

_I'm getting badly poetic. _

_Still, still though. I can nearly reach out and touch him. Have I ever properly thanked him for what he did? _

Touching his cheek, Krillin looked upon her while the seven-year-older version of Juuhachigou watched him. Watched the agony bloom on his good-natured face, fighting his inner demons, the metaphorical angel and devil on his shoulder battling it out, although even _now_ she couldn't tell which was which when it came to Krillin. And this was when he had thought she'd been involved with someone else, and that she would never love him back. Trembling, stepping forward to drop that remote and startle her. _"It's you."_

"You didn't even try to hurt him."

"I didn't try to hurt him the first time. Not really."

There at Kami's Hideout. The Lookout Tower. Flowers and butterflies she'd seen Marron playing with under her own watchful eye, all gone before the bruised fighters. It was strange, being back here as well, considering she'd just died in that domed building up there. Juuhachigou watched herself awaken.

Then, there, her life had suddenly grown complications. It was no longer a matter of flying around with her brother, doing whatever they wanted. The world laid at their feet, begging for mercy. Krillin was looking at her, already devoted to her, even as his friends tried to talk reason to him. His harmless punch to Gohan's head made her smile, even as she watched her younger self insult Krillin and fly away. Only to eventually return and confront him _again_ if only to clear up the confusion that she and Juunanagou hadn't been twins. Only, of course, it hadn't been just that. Even sticking around had been something other than just curiosity. Or more than curiosity for the dragon.

The jeans she'd liked, that vest, all unwearable after having worn it while being spat up in it.

Krillin had just been some dorky shrimp that was fun to tease, until she was up there and understanding the full span of his feelings. That he hadn't been just playing in his own way, something that seemed so obvious in retrospect. Crushing that remote hadn't been the act of a man with just some simple attraction. He was a man in love with a woman, and willing to do whatever he could for her.

Her thoughtful expression, his amazed.

They'd been so stupid then. There was no way she could have brought herself to hang around that group, not just yet, but they'd stumbled around each other in a way that she found annoying. It had been too soon to outright say that she knew he loved her in some strange way, and that she really didn't think he was a complete bone head and that maybe that little kiss could one day be something more than a dumb trick. But she guessed Krillin had understood her anyway.

…until Yamcha was telling a desperate-for-a-sign Krillin that she definitely liked him, that he definitely had a chance.

_Oh, Krillin. No wonder it took so long for us to get our act together. We should have talked the day later, rather than waiting for so long to finally hammer out what we felt. Rather than wasting that time apart. No, Krillin, I'm definitely not angry with you, just confused. _

They could have spared each other some unnecessary heartache and awkwardness if they'd laid their cards on the table sooner.

"You know, after that, you were no longer on the track to Hell." All said with a cheerful smile. "You didn't even throw any more police cars into mountains."

Juuhachigou rolled her eyes. This guy sounded like Krillin on one of his spells. "Yeah, the magical power of love brought us together. Never mind that in another timeline, I killed him."

The smile wouldn't be deterred. "There are many timelines."

"What else is there? Do I have to say I'm sorry I harbored murderous intent for Goku? I guess I am sorry. But not very much."

"Now_ why_ is that Missus Juuhachigou?"

The cyborg turned to give a sour glance at the old woman who'd decided to finally make an appearance. Baba. Roshi's sister. Less perverted. A better cheater at cards. "Because…"

She sighed. She was dead, and this was just between them. The sooner this was over with, the sooner she could be with her daughter. "Because I got to meet Krillin. Yeah, yeah. I supposed I should regret beating those two up, if only because Vegeta still whines about it, but if it meant that I ended up with Krillin, I don't care."

Baba scratched beneath her hat. "I guess that's about the best we're going to get."

"That's it?"

"You saw what you did wrong. You're not _that_ bad, Juuhachigou." The blue-skinned humanoid waved a hand at her.

"Thanks."

"Even at your worst, murder never interested you. You even feel bad about some of that destruction. Meeting Krillin helped, a little."

"So what was the point of that then? Fine, I wish I hadn't blown up so much stuff; it was dumb. I don't think meeting Krillin made me a better person, not then. It's not like I felt guilty, messing with those bikers. Or didn't plan on fighting the rest of the Z fighters."

"But not Krillin?"

"Maybe. He didn't seem interested in fighting." She rolled her eyes at Baba's smile, just like her perverted brother's. "Or that—not until later. Or. Shut up."

"I have to go sort those Saiyans out now, dear." The blonde cyborg had her shoulder patted by the floating old lady. "Have fun."

The world shifted back to the mountain valley, the road still and always cracked. This time, there was no one there but her and the demon.

"With what? Can I leave Limbo now?"

"Now, now just getting some ducks in order. Huh. What's this little note?" He lifted a post-it-note that had suddenly appeared on his clipboard. "'Special request?'"

"For what?"

-and then a familiarly heavy blur threw itself at her. They nearly tumbled to the dirty ground. Thankfully they weren't on that yellow and blue road purposely shaped like a snake, elsewise they would have fallen down to who-knew. "Juu!"

"Oh my. Please, not here. I'm afraid there's no time…"

The married couple ignored him as best they could. Like they were rabbits…

Krillin was beaming at her, with his hair a mess as usual. "Juu! You're okay…or not. But you're here. Like the view?"

"Hey, there, honeybunny." Throwing back his stupid nickname that he'd bother her with. Was he even real, or was this some more penance? She hadn't done anything that bad, like they'd said, to deserve seeing something so painful. Was he annoying her, that crack about the view, or was Krillin (real or not) holding some sentimental value to where they'd first met?

"Hey!" His hands went to his hips. "I thought I was the octopus head."

_Oh, but I do love you, I do. I don't even care if you're real or not. Maybe it would be easier if you weren't, in some way._

_But god, I _do_ hope you're really here. How am I supposed to act fine with Marron if I don't know what happened to you? Are you really training? What if you got lost, somehow? _

"I missed you. What the hell were you doing throwing yourself at Buu?"

"I thought I could help. Guess not, huh?" Krillin was turning serious, even as he reached for her hands. "And Marron's…he got her too, huh?"

"Just about all of us now. I'm not certain who survived. Or if you're even real, or some messed up vision."

Krillin kissed her hand, absently. Looking like was about to propose, which was strange, given their already married state (and_ she'd_ been the one to purpose). "I'm real. Really, really here. Your annoying teddy bear that you used to almost strangle in your sleep."

"Krillin." She wasn't sure if she was trying to chastise him or not. It was still annoying to blush, dead or not.

"But I don't think we're going in the same direction. Not now. Once the others save the day…"

"You always have to be the hero." Once she might have sneered at him for that.

"I have to help my friends. Even if I can't, exactly. You thinking of coming along?"

He knew all about their choice. And what her decision was going to be, stronger than him though she may be. That they might be separated for some time.

"If it's only temporary. I guess I can let you go help save the universe."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," the blue-skinned man threw in behind them.

"But you better come back in one piece, Krillin. No throwing yourself at Buu again!"

"Hey, I learned my lesson." The smile was brief. "Take care of Marron. Really. I'll see you again. Don't cry."

"I'm not crying. You're the one that cries."

"Fine._ I'm_ crying. I'm going to miss you, temporary or not."

"Just go help the others." She pinched one ear, lightly. "I'm going to check on Marron. Make sure she'd okay. Tell her how brave her father is."

"I'm going to see you again." He let her hands go, eyes losing all cheerfulness. Then he was grabbing her around the waist, and pulling her down to his level. Delicately touching her hair while she shoved her hair into that black shag to get a better grip on him. He kissed the same way too, melting her knees enough to help reduce the height difference.

"Really, you two! I have to take Missus Juuhachigou back to the weighing station and have her checked into the right location. And you have to go onto King Kai, or he'll have my hide."

She opened her eyes, reluctantly. Let go and moved away even more with even more reluctance. "Fine. I'm going. Just one thing, Krillin. Why are we back here, at _this _spot? Do you really have such nice memories of the first time we met?"

His grin was definitely Krillin's. He gave one last quick kiss, before pulling back. "Babe, this is your version of Limbo; this is your vision of where you wanted to meet me again."

**350. You May Have Been Made For Love...But I'm Just Made.**

Krillin died after Majon Buu had gotten sick of talking, throwing himself at the monster. He died not knowing that his family and friends soon followed.

This wasn't the first time he had died, nor even the second time.

He floated through nothingness for an eternity, then two. Harmlessly.

Eventually, he found himself in front of a desk, a desk to beat all others in the universe, with a giant ogre that made the Ox King look tiny. Red-faced and with a bushy mustache. At his giant side, a familiar figure hovered, angry and arguing. From the cringing expression on the red face, she was winning.

"Baba?"

The tiny witch turned. "Hello there, young man."

"So…is this…heaven? The afterlife?"

"I'm afraid so. Expecting more harps."

"And some floating angels. Hey, where's everyone else?"

"They're on their way. Or have already gone through. Time is different here, for everyone."

"Did my family, did Marron and Juuhachigou—"

"Yes. In this relative time, they're here."

His shoulders sagged inward. "Can I see them?"

"Not quite yet." Roshi's sister and the demonic looking creature exchanged looks.

"There's still some paperwork to finish up. You're going to head up with the rest of the fighters."

"Alright. But I have to see Marron and Juuhachigou. I have to talk to them."

"Yes. You will. Especially if those Saiyans figure out what to do, and wish you all back to Earth."

"I'd like to talk to them now, please." He turned his increasingly-desperate look onto the extremely large ogre. Somehow, he looked more empathetic than Baba, who would come by Kame House to cheat at cards and give Marron a pile of candy.

The ogre tucked at his collar. "I'm afraid not. Now, can we _please_ hurry this up?"

"Oh, alright. Come with me, Krillin."

Juuhachigou often told him he was too sweet and forgiving, that he should defend himself more, but he must have picked up on some of her steel will through the years. He stood his ground. Behind him, cloudy blue souls were grumbling and shifting about. "Not until I see my family. Or know that they're alright."

"They're fine. Being sorted. Your wife is joining your daughter in the nursery, however, rather than with the rest of the fighters."

"Oh. Alright."

"We can't just take them out," the red-faced demon explained. "She _chose_."

"So why can't I choose to go with them?"

"Because you're a fighter. The universe may need you."

"Oh, c'mon, my friends are all stronger than I am. I'm sure they can handle it better than me."

"That may be true." Baba wasn't smiling. "But we may need more help."

"'May.'" For that, he might not see his wife and daughter for some time. Maybe never.

"You'll go through a short penance, and then join your friend Yamcha with the rest of the fighters."

"Penance? But I'm a good guy, remember?" Krillin grinned, a little uneasily. "I haven't done anything too bad."

"No, but I'm afraid even a saint would have to go through this. And_ you_ could never get on that cloud my brother gave to Goku."

"Alright. Fine. Let's see it." He sighed, sure of what was to follow: all his dumb mistakes and errors. Should have dodged, should have been quicker, should have _known_ that move was coming…

"I'll see you soon, King Yemma. Now, if you would be a dear and follow me."

They went past doors and buildings, up flights of stairs, with Baba humming and Krillin gritting his teeth at every step.

"Soon, soon."

"What? What are we even doing?"

Then they were stepping out onto some platform, huge, bigger enough to fit several of King Yemma's desks onto easily. "Just a few minutes. It's been_ such_ a busy day. The Limbo where you'll spend your penance can't be too bad."

"Still spending time with demons, Baba?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"Yeah. Roshi's doing just fine, you know."

She cackled. "You were always his pupil with the best sense of humor."

He was still wearing his loose brown pans and red shirt, and it would feel a little strange fighting for the sake of the universe in something other than his gi. Juuhachigou might have laughed at that thought. Where was she, exactly? Was she telling their daughter that everything was okay? Was that nursery at least nice? "That was the one thing I had on over Goku, I guess."

"When you meet King Kai, that will come in handy."

Baba pulled out a watch hanging from a chain, gleaming gold nice in whatever sun there was in the Other World.

"Hey. Isn't that the watch Juuhachigou had—"

"Right about now should do it."

And then they were no longer at the platform.

Some moment passed, moments perhaps, he couldn't tell since he wasn't holding that watch that had hung so prettily off his wife's hips when she hadn't yet been his wife. Krillin could see different futures before his eyes, snapshots where he knew exactly what was happening in each one. One where he'd never gone to Roshi's and stayed at the temple, one where he lost against Freiza at the wrong moment, one where he had followed Bulma's advice to use the dragonballs to stop Gero, one where he and Juuhachigou had never meant, their paths diverging off, rejoining briefly, then separating.

One where because of them stopping Gero, she'd never been completed and had died in that lab, one where they'd stopped him before he'd gotten a hold of Juuhachigou and Juunanagou and they continued on their life that he could almost see, almost see his wife before she _was_ his wife, what she would have been instead of a cyborg and a fighter and mother, almost see what she'd been Before. Smokey, foggy, over those visions, like some of Roshi's cigars had been lit and held underneath to hide things.

Her eyes had been blue, regardless of whatever Gero's machinery had otherwise done.

One where they met and he'd died again and again, under her hand or her brother's or both of them together.

One where he'd used the remote and did and then _didn't_ kill her.

One where they never had kids, one where they had more. Blue and dark eyes staring beneath blonde and black hair, her small smile regardless of all else. Splintering further out.

Always her, always focused on her.

That ever since he'd met her, there had only been her.

Not quite mistakes. But his hesitations and questioning over the years, weighing things, wondering. Now here they were.

Oh, oh thank god, I didn't mess up too badly, thank god I made the right decisions.

Rewinding backward from him reading a pair of twins, to them on a beach with her roughly shoving a wedding band on his finger (which _had_ happened), going back further and further, creeping up the branches.

There were few trees up there at Kami's Lookout. Pale stone with the dark blue sky reflecting off it, flowers, scattered palm trees. When she'd awoken, he understood the world could once again exist. Juuhachigou looked beautiful, even when she was furious. His stupid face as Gohan and all the others looked at him and Juuhachigou. Stumbling about, trying to say how he felt, trying to hide his feelings from her. Slumped shoulders and his dumb shiny head. Really, you mean it?

That island, green and brown and surrounded by its many twins, the worst fit of fear and hesitation he'd never felt before or since. Oh, no, you can try whatever Baba, but I'm glad I didn't use that button. I've had seven years to think about it, and whatever else, no matter how selfish it sounds, I'm glad I crushed it. Just look at my daughter and try to convince me otherwise.

He could nearly feel her in his arms, hugging. 'Daddy.' She'd learned that word by the sixth one, after 'Mama,' 'Turtle,' 'TV', 'Food,' 'Krillin.' Always yelled, his name or title, since by that age she'd already had him tied around her little finger. Before she fully understood, he had just been that toy she played with that tossed her gently into the air (to her Mama's panic), and changed her diaper and fed her and put her to sleep with lullabies. Just some dark-haired figure, to her mind perhaps, that brought comfort and stood much taller than her still.

For her, and for her mother, he could never regret that decision. No matter what cost.

"Is this it?" He asked clearly, looking at Juuhachigou. At his lady love hiding from Cell, her disgust at Juurokugou's fondness for animals (even as she saved a squirrel), at that pale frightened expression when he'd stepped before her. No need to watch himself wrestle with what he was going to do; he'd thought and dreamed about it enough.

Their confrontation had been so awkward, hardly deserving of the word. She'd been more afraid than him, he knew now clearly. Blushing in front of her, that look of surprise and realization that he_ still_ didn't completely understand. Had she read his intentions then, rather than finding out about

Baba's voice crept into his ear. "This was your version of courting, eh?"

Krillin smiled. "Oh, she wasn't much better. It's the thought that counts, you know."

Back now at Kame House where they would spend their entire marriage, mouth curled into a smile while he gaped at her. Laughter. There to beat up Piccolo and kill Goku, if they could. Juu, I think I loved you even then, even when you were just trying to hurt my friends. Never confused, always sure of what her plan was, there had never been much ignorance and blindness in their relationship, for all its stumbling around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Kame House, his favorite place in the world. Home.

"Too bad I couldn't see her in that cowboy outfit her brother described."

Baba thought on that, then snapped her fingers. It was brief, but enough to see the padded shoulders and fringed vest and her unhappy, doubtful expression as she looked at a mirror.

"Aw! Haha, I can die happy now. Go ahead and take me straight to Hell even. But you know, she still looks amazing in that skirt."

"Alright. Close your jaw."

"Is that all?" Krillin was still smiling.

"One last thing…you can't go down to the nursery to see your family, but I can bring you to Juuhachigou's own Limbo where she served out her penance. Just briefly."

"Is she okay? She hasn't done anything wrong, really. That was Gero that hurt them and made them want to hurt others. Which she never really did. I don't even think Vegeta—no, Vegeta still probably holds a grudge."

"She still had some things to come in grip with. Just like you did."

"What was that?"

"I can't tell you what her problems are. She's your wife, you're going to have to bother her about that later. But you should know what your own are."

"I was afraid. Of being afraid, I guess. But now I'd like to see Juuhachigou."

"Well, I guess you are such a nice guy…I guess you can meet up at her own version of Limbo." Baba scribbled something on a yellow Post-It-Note that disappeared into thin air.

Then he was at a spot he still sometimes would see in his dreams. Feel the cold that stopped bothering him so much once those tubes had opened, and what they'd thought was going to be their death stepped out with light eyes and smiles. They'd looked like teenagers, just kids really that the fighters would have protected while the real monsters showed themselves.

How she looked at him, so amused. Showing a carelessness she no longer possessed. This woman who had beaten up his friends with a smile, only to freak out over Marron's bottle being too warm or too cold.

Seven years he'd known her for, and she still made him tingle and melt into a puddle just at the sound of her voice. Standing there: perfection. "For _what_?"

He hadn't gone so fast fighting Buu. She was here, warm and soft, and_ here_. "Juu!"

Another demon, blue this time, was saying something about there being no time and sounded like Bunny, Bulma's mother.

She was okay, and he hugged her a little closer. "Juu! You're okay. Or not. But you're here."

He smiled. "Like the view?"

Juuhachigou didn't seem to even notice her usual discomfort when being touched in front of someone else. She still seemed a little stunned, and who knew what she'd had to go through. "Hey there, honeybunny."

"Hey," he pouted. "I thought I was the octopus head."

Something softened. "I missed you. What the hell were you doing throwing yourself at Buu?"

"I thought I could help. Guess not, huh?" Her hands were soft and whole against his. "And Marron's…he got her too, huh?"

He'd known, of course, but had still hoped there had been a mixup. A little baby, she couldn't have, she must have gotten away…

"Just about all of us. I'm not certain who survived. Or if you're real, or some messed up vision."

What had they subjected her to up here? How could he even convince himself that he was real, or that_ she_ was real? It hadn't even occurred to him that she might be some vision. She felt real, enough. "I'm real. Really, really here. Your annoying teddy bear that you used to almost strangle in your sleep?"

It wouldn't have been a bad way to go.

"_Krillin_." Definitely Juuhachigou. Nothing else could blush in that adorable way.

"But I don't think we're going in the same direction. Not now. Once the others save the day…"

"You always have to be the hero." There was fear in those eyes. Distraught in a way that broke Krillin's heart.

I repent.

"I have to help my friends. Even if I can't, exactly. You thinking of coming along?"

But she couldn't leave the baby alone, possibly. Or with strangers.

But _he_ could? Gods help him, he was still a fighter above all else. It was worse, to live this way. To not be like those other people who got to go to heaven with their friends and family, together.

Juuhachigou was trying for a brave smile. "If it's only temporary. I guess I can let you go save the universe."

That demon was muttering something unhelpful behind them.

"But you better come back in one piece, Krillin. No throwing yourself at Buu again!"

"Hey. I learned my lesson. Take care of Marron. Really, I'll see you again. Don't cry."

"I'm not crying. You're the one that cries."

His throat had narrowed down to the size of a straw made out of flannel. "Fine. I'm crying. I'm going to miss you, temporary or not."

"Just go help the others." Her hand went to his face, to his ear. The brief pain was both welcome, and frightening. Going to fight when I can still experience pain. "I'm going to check on Marron. Make sure she's okay. Tell her how brave her father is."

Tell her how brave her mother is. My god, am I going to do this? But hadn't the lesson of his penance been not to question himself?

"I'm going to see you again," Krillin swore. Even if he beat Buu single-handedly, it wouldn't feel as good as Juuhachigou back into his arms. Touching her hair made him want to cry even more, and her delicate fingers running through his own _hurt._

"Really, you two! I have to take Missus Juuhachigou back to the weighing station and have her checked into the right location. And you have to go onto King Kai, or he'll have my hide."

They let go of each other. Even cell on his body seemed to scream out to hold her again, to go on with her, damn the universe as he'd once damned Earth for her. But now, they had a daughter, and she needed a home to go back to. I will fight Buu again, I will try. "Fine. I'm going. Just one thing, Krillin. Why are we back here, at _this _spot? Do you really have such nice memories of the first time we met?"

Once everything works out, maybe I'll even tell her about that cowboy outfit. Everything will work out okay. All my other decisions worked out just fine. And it was her fault that they were by this side of the mountain, feeling the cold, according to Baba. "Babe, this is your version of Limbo; this is your vision of where you wanted to meet me again."


	15. 351 thru 375

**Thanks for the reviews/favs. **

**As for why this story doesn't get more attention, I'm going to say not a huge amount of K/18 fans around due to reasons such as some people not wanting to boff Krillin as much as Juuhachigou does, and not being able to see past that? People on the chestnutisland tumblr have mentioned this in way better, short, kinder, ways that I would if I really wanted to get into it. Not really sure how to drum up more attention. Maybe actually _update_ more...?**

**The next chapter is just about already finished, so hopefully that will be posted sooner than this one was. There will probably be more jealous Juuhachigou coming up. Possibly crazy, jealous future!Juuhachigou.  
**

**In which two of the themes are both 'rat poison,' and 'fancy dinners.' Also, Bulma overhears and says too much, handcuffs are used, and Chi-Chi tries to set Juuhachigou up with Krillin. And Eighteen's change in voice actors is actually mentioned, albeit in a meta way.**

* * *

I would like to go to a matinee with you. Any afternoon, any theater, I would not care what we saw. I would like to sit next to you in the dark in a public place and lean over from time to time to better hear your caustic asides.

**-Tumble Home, From the Collected Stores of Amy Hempel  
**

**351. I peered through the knot-hole in the fence and...**

Krillin could still hear them whispering in the other yard. There was a girl and a boy, and the girl was as bossy as Bulma. Telling him not to set up the pool _that_ way, no, I don't want to play with a squirrel, I'm not Juurokugou, stop throwing rocks at me. A girl. He raised his head cautiously up from his book. Did he really want to hang out with_ another _Bulma?

On the other hand, maybe she was cute? And could she really be as mean as the teenager, even as she started throwing rocks back at that boy? Carefully, he pressed his cheek against the rough wood of the unsanded fence. He could still remember him and Goku putting it up while their foster father looked on.

He discovered something that was too much for a thirteen-year-old scabby boy to talk, and made him swoon from the secret knowledge.

There was an angel living next door.

It was a lot to take in for a boy that had yet to hold a girl's hand, and whose closest attempt at kissing had come from messing with the leaf blower with the switch turned 'in' instead of 'out.' She's right there. Younger than him, maybe, by a little bit. Hair shorter than Bulma's and much lighter. Like _sunlight_. Or the color of dying leaves that hung off the apple tree.

Krillin was so awe-struck that he didn't care when the two younger kids noticed him watching them and went inside to tell their parents that there was a pervert from next door watching them.

**352. I Could Never Touch You Because You Might Touch Back**

Krillin held his hand out, and upward. No ki emanated from it, no matter how Juuhachigou stared at it. Looking at his palm like it was going to blow up. The paint had long since dried, and her hands were just as dirty as his, so the short fighter couldn't really see the problem.

"C'mon. We did it. We finished painting the house in record time. I think. Probably.

"High-five!"

It wasn't anything. Just the briefest moment of contact. And she could hurt him while doing it, playing it off, 'oh, are you too weak for that?' It was just friendly.

"Juuhachigou?"

**353. Study Dates**

When Juuhachigou asked him without any hint of a smile if he, Krillin and the luckiest guy in the world, if he would teach her how to use his trademark Destructo Disk, he kept his face perfectly steady. The shifting thoughts, what would a different guy do, what would I do if this was a different women, what are different women, are there such things, should I just act cool I need to stop sweating so much and answer, finally came to a halting scream of frustration that came out a whimper and a nod. He would follow her example, and act cool.

Krillin was so pleased at spending more time with her that he let himself not feel like shoving a hand down the garbage disposal at her disturbed face. Her own nod that came after made up for it, anyway.

Never before had Juuhachigou even shown any interest in sparring with him, outside the vague threat. But now…

There would be long afternoons full of laughter and smiles and the sweet way her eyes would narrow with amusement, yeah, that was what his life was going to be full of. No more panic attacks in the bedroom or nightmares where he'd reach out for Goku and either catch him or not. Idiotic blame and fears: all gone once she'd laugh at one of his jokes. His life would head in a more hopeful, upward direction.

He felt like Icarus must have felt as he'd strapped on those wax wings, had that man had some more forethought. Juuhachigou had given up any desire to murder him, perhaps, but a vestige of that must remain, with how quickly she could knock him down. There was to be no touching, she'd assured him with a sneer. Keep your hands where I can see them.

"Of course, Juuhachigou."

"Pretend you're a monk again."

"…alright. I guess I should go inside, and spend the rest of the day in quiet reflection…"

She rolled her eyes, barely able to put up with his behavior. What had she gotten into?

"Okay, okay. Let's get started."

"I think I know the basics. I've studied it, a little."

When she demonstrated, Krillin was lucky to escape with his head intact. It wasn't a matter of her getting the amount of power, sharpened, correctly. But her energy was too much. And the shape was off, from the force of it. An extra-large pizza to his own that was more like one of Oolong's pizza bites, in terms of power.

It continued on, past his cowering form, skipping briefly over the ocean, and then heading down like a glowing shark. Coral eventually floated upward. And what might have been part of a pirate ship that had rested at the bottom of the ocean floor.

"I think you could use some lessons in controlling it, then."

"Like you know anything about control."

She acted like he was some desperate perv, making comments and pinching gestures. As though he hadn't been polite to her, with his desperation for her attention and regard kept in check. "Well, then, try it again!"

As graceful as her attack hadn't been, Juuhachigou suggested, "Maybe you should teach me the solar flare instead?"

**354. Pick Up The Phone, Hear You Saying Dirty Things To Me**

Considering her own mother had walked in on her with both Yamcha and then Vegeta, numerous time, Bulma had thought she couldn't be so easily humiliated. It wasn't even her! She hadn't been caught doing anything! Innocent as a daisy flower, Bulma was; all she'd done was_ pick up a phone_. And yet she was still blushing and horrified, and had gasped loudly enough to have surely caught the attention of the person upstairs.

Any moment, he would come down, just as horrified as her. 'You heard what?!'

'_Terrible things_!'

'Let's pretend this never happened.'

What she needed was to keep quiet. She hadn't been caught, nope, no one had definitely heard her hearing Krillin telling what had to be Juuhachigou, the pale annoyingly quiet android girl, horrible, horrible things that he was going to do to her when she came over again, while Bulma sat there with the receiver to her ear, hearing his filth and gaping. Only to have to hear Juuhachigou respond with something _even worse,_ and making her scream and quickly slam the phone down.

It was bad just to know about her friends' sex lives. In fact, she'd happily gone through life knowing little about them. Until very recently, Bulma hadn't thought that Krillin _had_ a sex life. He was just her short kind friend that got crushes on women that went nowhere and acted awkwardly around those said women. Not told them that when they crept in through his door, he was going to…well, nudity and a bed post were involved. _Let's just leave it at that, mind, shall we? _

But it was also good that he'd met someone. That he did have a sex life. Good for Krillin. Good for Juuhachigou. The details were sordid and should never have been shared, but still. As soon as Bulma stopped shivering and wondering where the rat poison was, she would decide to support them, and leave Krillin a short note to get his own private phone line.

**355. All's Fair In Love and War, and We're In Love**

Her decision to poison Krillin came from her heart, and only after a long time deliberating over it. And even then, it was a decision she rejected. What would really hurt him and send him to Dende or the hospital, and what would only put him down for a few days. Just a couple. Enough time for him to think things over, and come to understand that this woman he cared for could in return be surprisingly sweet, and…and that he'd already met someone, sorry.

Even in her own fantasies, Juuhachigou did not come out ahead.

It was pathetic that she'd come to this point. Allowed it to come to this point. She was one of the strongest beings on this planet, with only a handful of people able to beat her, and yet she was looking at the box with its bone and skull crosses_, hoping._ Yes, she'd passed the point of believing that only her programming mattered, and it was ridiculous to love a shrimp with no nose, because it had happened, and her denial had run too ragged to cling to.

Cyborg or not, it shouldn't take poisoning a man to show that you liked him. She was no Florence Nightingale; she might even hate his dependency after an hour or so.

But she'd spent the last hour admiring his eyelashes, and something had to be done. The knot in her tongue had to be untied, and the words finally allowed to spill out. Anything would be good. Anything complimentary. _Say he's attractive_, her brain had finally screamed. _Say you think he's good-looking or cute or that you'd like very much to spend the rest of the night admiring his eye_brows_! Do something! Anything!_

"I don't care if you want to go bar hopping to look for a girl desperate enough to make out with you."

_Yep, that was definitely the right thing to say to a guy you wanted desperately to make out with. _Her mind writhed and screamed at her in disgust. _He's leaving. He left. He's going to meet someone nice. With a better chest._

"Shut up," she clearly told the empty kitchen. "There's nothing wrong with my chest."

_No, it's your brain that's broken. Or your nervous system. Whatever's to blame for you being too weak to tell Krillin had you feel. _

And it was in there that she'd found the poison. How did rats even get on such a tiny island? Her brain once again called out for some sanity, some honesty, how are you even going to hide the taste, honey will not cut it and no, you can't switch the cereal and the poison.

He usually always was the one to make tea or cook anything. If he got sick, he might get suspicious. Would Krillin suspect her capable of hurting him this way? What if he asked? I guess I'm just a bad cook; what's that, you need a hug to make you feel better, sure, scoot over.

It was something out of romantic movie or soap opera the old man liked to watch. Juuhachigou even had an evil twin…or maybe that was _her_ at this point? She should be clenching a fist to her chest, looking upward towards the heavens. For you, I will do this and hopefully you will not die.

_You cannot do this. Do not, I repeat, do not poison this man. Is it programming, loose wire, some ripped cabling that has made you so insane? _

Juuhachigou breathed in, and then put the poison away. Maybe there is a loose bolt somewhere. I have to talk to Krillin. Or at least leave a note on his bed. 'Do you like me, yes or no? Signed, 18. Pathetic. Her mind wept, but had to admit it was better than trying to kill him.

* * *

It was reading, and then collapsing hopelessly on top of a bunch of woman magazines that made her decide to just take Chi-Chi's advice. Bulma's had been simpler: just get naked and wait in his bed, maybe include whipped topic. To the other two women's discomfort. But the dark-haired mother had simply said that she should show Krillin she could be a good wife, yes, yes you can be, of course you can, just as long as you _try_. Also, maybe try to buy some lingerie. Just in case. Oh, oh, we should all go shopping.

With that vote of confidence and some new clothes, Juuhachigou had thought long and hard about marriage and what that would consist of. Something horribly feminine and stereotypical, was that what he might want? Would she have to knit something? Krillin was better at things like that. Cleaning and sewing and cooking. But she had helped him with _some_ meals. It wasn't so bad, what she'd made.

She crumbled up the magazines, not caring if they were Krillin's, and went back to the kitchen. No longer was it a possibly crime scene, now it was full of _good _possibilities. There was some food in the house, for once, and surely she could make pasta by herself. A pot, water, salt, boil it for a half hour or so, and there was pasta sauce in the cabinet. A loaf of bread, if not a nicer kind, in the bread box where Krillin had placed it last. Thankfully it hadn't been all scarfed down. Simple. Not complicated. At least then they could focus on each other. There was even wine, and that might help both their nervousness.

As for dessert…

She stared at the spray bottle of KoolWhip, then slowly put it back in the fridge.

Candles. She needed candles.

The house had blackouts occasionally, there had to be candles somewhere. The birthday candles in the junk drawer would help, but she really would have preferred something nicer. So she took Krillin's scented candles he liked to sometimes take with him in the bath, feeling like a thief. She didn't allow herself to focus on the bubble bath formula he had.

It irritated her nose, the candles, but she felt better for it.

The only thing left was to make sure it was just them.

"I would like to have a private, quiet dinner!"

"…don't you have your own house?"

His roommates had eventually fled after she'd threatened to poison them with the rat poison behind the dish soap under the sink. But Master Roshi was the last to leave, and he could pick up her desperation. "Just don't hurt him, Juuhachi. He's a nice boy."

"I'm not going to hurt him!" Had she not recently threatened to kill the old man, and was currently holding a pot of boiling water while yelling at him, it might have been taken more sincerely.

He left, and she drained the pasta. Then went upstairs to change into something nice. With something nicer underneath. Krillin would be damn lucky to see her in this, or even wearing less. The other women had been kind, and good judges of fabric. 'Do you think Krillin would prefer her in black, or red? Or white, maybe?' While she sat there in the changing room of this expensive store, waiting for an answer. 'I don't think Krillin will care.' Then they'd both laughed while she tried not to have a panic attack, too embarrassed to speak. What the hell was she doing here, although, yes, she did look nice in this black lace, and the red satin would make Krillin's eyes fall out of their sockets.

Then dress and shoe shopping. Then getting their nails and Bulma's hair done. 'It's so nice having time for _us_, you know. Not everything has to be about fighting.' This Bulma said, before getting into an argument over the phone with Vegeta, where they threatened to murder one another. Despite not liking even the mention of the Saiyan, Juuhachigou felt a little relieved that she wasn't the only person to think about hurting her partner. Almost partner. Hopefully-soon-to-be-partner.

She tried on all her new things, agreeing that yes, anything would be fine. _Nothing_ would be just as fine.

Krillin came home. Late. Alone, thank every Namek in the history of the universe for that. But…stumbling. And very late. Very quickly Juuhachigou realized he was not stumbling about because only the melting candles were provided light.

"Are you drunk?"

"Why _yes I am_."

They looked at each other over the melted waxy stubs.

He even smelled like booze and maybe bile? She looked at the bottle of wine that she'd already opened herself. Well, she'd hardly had any, unlike him.

Krillin came closer, undoing the buttons to his shirt, to her disgusting excitement. "What happened? Oh, man, did the electricity go out again? Are those my good candles? Where is everyone? Is that pasta?"

"Yes. Are you hungry?" She made her voice as pleasant as it could be.

"Ugh. No thanks. Um, I got a little sick on the way here."

Her eyes widened. "It wasn't _me_."

Krillin looked up at her from his feet. "No. I had a little too much to drink, and threw up. Thankfully, it was _outside_ the cab."

"You should be sober by now, right? You flew home?"

"Yes. Maybe. I need to lie down. This sucks. I can't see anything." He reached for the light switch, blinding himself when they came on. "What the hell?"

"Turn them back off, Krillin."

The short ex-monk turned the lights off gladly, with a grimace.

"Now sit down."

"I really am not in the mood to eat."

"Then have some wine. Or I'll pour you a glass of milk. Just _sit down_."

"Sure." He collapsed into the chair opposite her. "This is nice, Juuhachigou."

"It's cold."

"Um. Sorry? Were you waiting for someone?"

"Yes. But he came home drunk and ruined everything."

"Ah. I'm really sorry? Where is everyone?" His forehead wrinkled, then cleared. "Oh, Juu, you know you don't owe us anything. You didn't have to make dinner, or anything. We're glad to have you hanging out here."

"I didn't make it for those disgusting perverts. Like I care about any of your roommates." Although, to be fair, the Turtle was a nice enough fellow, and always complimented her ability to cut fruit into easy to eat pieces.

"Then who? Wait. For me?"

And then the knot tied itself back around her tongue. All she could do was glare down at the dripping candle in front of the bread, and feel heat rising in her cheeks.

"You made this for me? Really?" Krillin leaned forward, to slip into her gaze. "That's really nice."

He was smiling, and from this angle she could see quite well down his shirt. Thankfully, her eyes had little trouble adjusting to the dark. "You don't owe me anything, though. You know that. I'm sorry."

Krillin stared at his hands. "I messed this up badly. You went through all this trouble, and I was out getting drunk."

"I was trying to surprise you. It's my fault."

There was a grimace back on his face. For a second, Juuhachigou thought he was going to be sick all over the small table and on her new dress. "You're so nice, Juu. I should have been here. I hardly go out anyway. I should have stayed. It wouldn't have mattered to go _out_."

"You didn't meet anyone tonight?"

"No. Of course not. I'm not really the type of person women go for. You know." He motioned towards his face. "I don't really have a lot to offer up here."

"But _down_ there you do?" Damn her throat and the vocal chords inside. Damn whatever in general that was making her say and do such stupid things.

"What—I meant. Here." Krillin patted his chest, still looking like a deer in the headlights. You could see gears working in his own head, did she mean, no, of course not, just some strange comment. "I care. I am capable of love. I feel a little like the Frankenstein's monster. Except with less torches. I just want to care about someone. Maybe have someone not recoil at the sight of my face."

It was bizarre, how this sickening love and attraction could make you want to defend the object of such attentions. Even from themselves. Maybe because you didn't want to admit, even to yourself, that you were into a loser. Ego became involved. But Krillin wasn't a loser and had no right to speak of himself in such a way. He was sweet and brave and too forgiving to everyone but himself. "There's nothing wrong with your face. Except for the nose. But you get used to that after a while. You have a decent face. It's nice. You're not uncute."

_Well,_ her brain sighed. _It's something._

"Coming from you, I'm not sure to take that as a compliment or insult."

"What? I didn't mean it as an insult."

"I mean, from you. You're so—I can't take it all that seriously. I think you're too pretty to compliment me. You're like on another scale of measurement."

"What?"

"I don't know. I just mean, it's difficult to explain. But I feel like a mouse being complimented by a tiger."

_Say something!_ About his muscles that were so distracting that she'd once lost lots of money during a poker game with the old man, who'd then never failed to use that to his advantage, yes, son, could you check under the sink, really far down there, and maybe you should take off your shirt so it doesn't get dirty—while Oolong, wearing underwear on his head, looked disgusted with them both. The jawline, his dark eyes like melting ebony, something, ugh, 'melting ebony'? Something about his shoulders, or those arms, or his cute knees or his laugh. How masculine he can be, in a nice way, even in an apron, baking oatmeal cookies, you smell nice, yes, that's just great. I think you have a nice tongue and enjoy watching you eat Popsicles. No, no, oh god no. You have the prettiest mouth, really, you do, the prettiest one I've ever seen or believe exists. Was that bad? What about his round chin that looked nice to bite a little? I think you look amazing when you wander out of your room in just your underwear when you don't realize I'm in the house.

_You're in great shape and have pretty eyes. That's it. You say that, Juuhachigou. Say exactly that._

"You have nice eyebrows."

_God I hate you._

"I have nice eyebrows." He touched one, the right one. "Really?"

"They're alright. No, no, you look nice. All of you. Even the shortness can be charming."

"Really?" He looked pleased, and Juuhachigou and her brain breathed a sigh of relief. "But especially my eyebrows?"

…his eyebrows weren't even that nice. They were alright, maybe, but what made them nice was that they were his. It wasn't like his hands which were nice independently of the rest of him, small and well-made. Like so much else of his. The scars and callouses only added more charm to his fingers. His fingernails were usually clean. He had nice wrists too. And his arms, well, she'd seemingly memorized every crease of muscle and freckle and short dark hair.

If she said all this, he'd either understand that she liked him, and they could begin interacting like mature adults that were in a real relationship, or he'd freak out over how obsessive she could be and not want to see her anymore. 'I'm not a piece of meat, Juuhachigou!'

"I think your eyelashes are nicer, actually." She wanted wine, lots of it, suddenly.

"My eyelashes." Krillin was smiling. "You have a thing for upper facial hair?"

"No. I noticed that because you're always staring at me."

"Well, you have nicer features than just your eyelashes and eyebrows. Though, those are perfect too." He was raising one stupid eyebrow. Ruefully, at her.

_I like how you look too. Just say it. He is attracted to you. You both know. It will help to admit that. Please, just say it. _

She went to the fridge, grabbed the bottle of KoolWhip, and then shoved the nozzle into Krillin's mouth. Then bent downward to kiss him and lick the creamy spillage from his tongue and off his lips. It felt much better than her imagination had told it would be. Her legs weaker than she felt comfortable with. Their foreheads touching were also sweet. The chair creaked loudly under the force of them both moving backwards.

"Um."

Juuhachigou made sure to make eye contact as she wiped away a spray of it on his chin, then licked that off her finger. "That wasn't so bad."

At least the taste of it covered any of the alcohol.

…And vomit that she belatedly realized. Uuuuugh.

She nearly slapped him, remembering that. Remembering faint memories of someone, maybe Yamcha or Gohan, telling her how Krillin had picked her up out of a puddle of Cell's spit. Why did their lives have to involve romantic moments and _regurgitation_? "I should have poisoned you after all."

"I must be really, really drunk."

"Do you have any idea what I've been going through? Thinking about you all the time, trying to come up with downright_ schemes _to make you like me more, to move our relationship forward. I had to try on thirty bras today, to find the right size and fit. To say nothing about finding a color that you'd definitely like.

"-Your stupid eyebrows!"

"Or I've had a stroke."

"When you sober up, and brush your teeth, I'll be waiting for you upstairs, in your bed. Use Listerine."

"Definitely a stroke."

**356. 99 Problems**

**(A/N: This was nearly the name of these collections of stories)**

All Goku could do was pat his friend's back. Krillin was talking again about feeling alone, a subject that made his own stomach squirm. It was all he could to just look sympathetic and nod, as the other man didn't really get it. His short buddy always had his pals, and even lived with Master Roshi and Oolong and Turtle. There was always someone at Kame House. Plus he could come over here to Goku's house, to just walk around near the river like they were right now, or to stay and eat some of Chi-Chi's cooking.

And Bulma stopped by plenty. Even Vegeta had once spent some time there, hiding out from Bulma. A fact that made Goku laugh, remembering that purple-haired guy's news.

"I just would like a girlfriend. Someone that actually likes me."

"I'm sorry man." There really wasn't much to do to make Krillin feel much better. When he talked about girls, Goku only half-way understood. He'd been with Chi-Chi for so long, and didn't even truly completely understand the whole concept of 'dating.' There had just been Chi-Chi, challenging him and then smiling, and then they were married. Impossible to imagine it being any other way.

His other friends Yamcha and Bulma were better at this. They would know what dates were about.

"I don't know. Maybe—maybe you can save a girl, and then she'll like you?"

"Where am I going to find a girl in enough danger to start liking me just because I saved her?"

Goku rubbed the back of his dark head. Then he slapped Krillin's back, wanting to see him smile again and get back to his cheerful self. Life was too short to spend so much of it miserable. "…well, those androids are coming to try and kill us all? Maybe then you can save someone and get a girlfriend!"

**357. I'm in a booth, it's almost twelve, your favorite Denny's**

**Another year, I need a sundae**

**I'm just your sidebet**

**Freestyle walking**

Crying in a restaurant above a bowl of ice cream with strangers looking on was not how Krillin had expected to spend his night. He'd thought he could withhold his tears, not let himself dangle there so purposely over his disaster.

But some higher power lifted him out of his self-pity, some kindness from Kami himself perhaps. Someone to grab him, if roughly, and pull him back from the edge this thing that pulled him back with the hand of an angel, and had plucked him from the rim of despair. He could remember now that yes, he had broken up with his first girlfriend (she's sit right over there by the door so everyone could see her, in that little red dress and brought out the blue in her hair) and was currently sitting there in an act of masochism in this place they'd frequented so often, and that he was above all a man with feelings, and a hero and should have some pride in himself. The unpainful, but surprisingly blow to the head reminded him how often he'd been in a real fight and had experienced real pain that should have made a little heartbreak look like nothing.

That not everything in their relationship had been perfect, that they might have made each other miserable over the long run, and that he could hear some woman laughing, and she sounded kinda cute.

But he still had to wipe the ice cream and sticky soda out of his eyes from getting hit so hard by what was later discovered to be a complicated calculator. So he didn't see that a girl with blonde hair that came down just below her ears had been the one to do it, let alone saw how she sneaked out the backdoor to avoid any confrontation, because she'd finally seen his muscles and had known a guy that dressed like that had nothing left to lose.

**358. I Don't Care What They Say About Us Anyway**

Yamcha got his revenge, for falling asleep during his baseball game. It hadn't truly been their fault, they'd had a terrible night where both Vegeta and Bulma had come over and there had been too much alcohol to combat the mental pain of seeing those two together, those two eventually stopping their arguments to cuddle on the couch and send everyone running. Krillin had even begged to go along with her, in her car, back to her apartment, please, just get me off this island.

Or maybe that wasn't giving the scarred man enough credit. It was possibly he saw it only as an opportunity to help his friend. Maybe when he saw them passed out in the stands, still clutching cloudy plastic cups of melting ice and began plotting to help his short friend. It could have only been Yamcha, since he'd quickly disappeared and avoided them after that incident. Hadn't even rubbed their faces in it until much later.

What was really alarming, in retrospect, when some literal distance allowed perspective, was that Yamcha had those handcuffs with him.

They'd woken up, and blearily reached to rub at their eyes. Only to feel the tug of the other's hand. Something hard tied around their wrists.

She'd thought she'd gone past embarrassment. With her screwed up family that were far from related to by blood but rather a crazy man who hired/adopted them all, Juuhachigou had been through embarrassment. Just being seen with those weirdoes, inside the family house, was humiliated.

But now she understood what true shame was.

Krillin had the same gaping mouth as her.

"…did you do this?"

"Of course not!"

"How long were we like this?"

Hiding their hands under a jacket only made them look like they were holding hands, but that had to be suffered. "Right. Just like you're wearing a bracelet is all."

"God, your hand's so sweaty."

And then of course they had to stop by Bulma's, because she would have a power saw or something to remove it. Dynamite, maybe. Never mind how she laughed her head off and had to sit there on her stool, rocking back and forth and nearly crying in delight. In time, they were eventually separated, revenge conceived of and carried forth, and maybe one day the memories of being stared at by strangers would fade.

**359. You're Not Ill. And I'm Not Dead. Doesn't That Make Us The Perfect Pair?**

Cell could have so easily destroyed them, destroyed the entire planet, and then moved onto another, and another, until he had ruined the universe. An untold number of beings dead, entire civilizations gone in the wink of an eye. Amounts that Krillin, that no human, could actually comprehend, all gone to Other World.

It really helped put things in perspective.

So what really did it matter that she was an android, that she might have once hurt his friends? Those friends that right now were heading out to possibly help or die in the attempt.

Why be ashamed of something so small as his love for her?

She was in his arms, unconscious, and beautiful, and just beyond there was a boy fighting for their lives. He could lose. Every second was a gift, and not to be squandered. Juuhachigou was amazing, and they were both alive for now. When the world was about to end, how could you keep letting fear take ahold anymore, let that hold you back when things were beyond your control otherwise. He didn't want to die with anymore regrets.

Bad enough to go without completing all those goals he'd had, let alone little things like not seeing her smile, or hearing her voice again or wondering what type of life they could have had together, if things had been different. What future they might have now, if any.

"Alright." He stared downward at her peaceful face. "I love you."

Krillin just wished he could live long enough to tell it to her face while she was conscious.

**360. ****She had a perfect smile**

"I sound terrible. Like a thirteen year old. A thirteen year old boy." Then she just about coughed up a lung as Krillin tried to be supportive and not touch her and possibly find out how much strength she still possessed, sick or not.

"It doesn't matter. A rose by any other…sound."

"Awful."

"No, you don't sound that bad at all. Different. So what? I still like you. Okay, okay, it's still you. Cranky sick you that has a lovely voice if a little more, I guess you do sound younger. But you're basically the same person. With a different…it just takes a little while to get used to. Gimme time."

"I won't sound like this forever. It's just for a few while. And it's not like your voice hasn't changed ever. Grown worse. Well. Maybe even worse. It's always been bad. What's your excuse?"

He fluffed a pillow, and decided to not even pretend to suffocate her with it. "We'll adapt, and move past it."

"Who are you trying to convince?"

"Do you want the cough syrup now?"

**361. I'll get you one of these days**

"So, you're his Master then?"

Probably the first words Juuhachigou had said to Master Roshi that weren't threats. Everyone craned an ear to listen in.

"Does that mean he's yours?" Of course, it was just more insult, this time aimed a little more at Krillin. She had no sense of propriety, Juuhachigou. She would say things like this while hanging out on their couch, just waiting for them to finally snap and ask them to leave.

"He's not my slave." The turtle hermit took the android in strive faster than the others would have expected. He seemed to understand Krillin's puppy-dog crush, and was willing to indulge it, even if Juuhachigou was not.

"But you have some control over him?" What was that smile on her face?

"I suppose so."

Everyone else was quiet, waiting for her point.

"Does that mean you can give him away, if he's yours? Your pupil? Can you give him orders?"

"I'm not giving you Krillin, Juuhachigou."

She cocked an eyebrow at the short man, him so clearly taken aback. "Well, he's practically mine already; it would just be nice to make it more official."

"Hey, I'm not your slave."

"Go get me a soda."

And Krillin had to catch himself from following her command. "No."

**362. Set Up**

She was counting stitches on the new jacket she was making for the baby, thinking about that baby kicking already in her stomach, how lively they were, when Gohan's next history test should be completed, where Piccolo was right now and whether or not he was messing up Gohan's clothes and new haircut.

"God I wish I had a wife."

"It's just." Krillin's face was red, and he sheepishly looked up at her. "Goku was really lucky to have you."

Normally, Chi-Chi would have just scoffed at the short man's attempt at flattery. Sincere or not, it was hard to take Krillin seriously. Those eyes were too large in that round face, and the small growth of hair didn't do much to improve the fact that he still looked like a little kid half the time. Especially the way he dressed, like a very confused teenager that had decided to ironically wear his dorky uncle's golf and boat clothes.

Sure, he'd been trying to fix things up. At least one of Goku's friends was aware there was more to life than fighting. He'd retired, and was attempting to learn new things, expand his life into new directions, maybe even settle down. Now Krillin was moving on the best he could. Or at least buying some clothes that were a little less blinding.

Trying to look maybe respectable. He'd been spending time here more, trying to help Gohan and her deal with their new addition to the family. Krillin had been even nicer than normal, really…

…It was not unheard of for a brother to step in and marry the widow to his sibling. Goku's blood brother was dead, but Krillin was closer to her husband that_ that_ man had been. Far closer.

She saw with new horrified eyes that dark hair.

That new jacket that he'd shyly asked if she thought looked nice on him.

Chi-Chi put down her knitting, and asked Krillin to leave.

Capsule Corp was as picture perfect as always. The sunny dome promised prosperity, and safety. Just looking at the place with its darkened windows, you felt sure that here you could find peace. Mechanical efficiency. You could almost ignore Vegeta's screaming.

Chi-Chi thought at first that he was training. That man wouldn't be the type to ever relax. But once she entered the main hall, she could make out the words he was screaming.

"What is wrong with you woman! I don't watch the brat for five minutes, and _this is your punishment_?"

"All I did was fix up your wardrobe. You should be thanking me!" But Bulma's face held a smirk.

"You turned all my clothing pink!"

"I thought it would go nice with that blonde hair you worked so hard for."

He let out a strangled scream from his throat, then stomped away, dragging a pair of hot pink pants with him.

"I need the dragonballs?"

Bulma had an expression of pity on her face. Behind her, Trunks tottered around like a drunk, bouncing off the couch and table. "I don't think Goku wants to come back."

"It's not for him. It's for Krillin."

"_What_? Did something happen to him?"

"Nothing. But I need the dragonball to help him."

"How?"

"I want to help Krillin get a girlfriend." She wished dearly that Bulma's mother had popped into the room, bearing pastries and tea to distract them with.

She looked at Chi-Chi closely. "You want what?"

"I want to get him a girlfriend."

"I can't tell whether you're the nicest person to him, or the cruelest."

Chi-Chi huffed. Hopefully, Bulma wouldn't ask why she wanted to get Krillin a girlfriend. "I'm just trying to help him."

"Well," The blue-haired woman had a smirk not unlike the one she'd had dealing with Vegeta. "I guess there was that_ girl._"

"What girl?" Hopefully, it wasn't that Maron woman.

"The cyborg/android."

Any sympathy she'd had for Krillin was gone. "The ones that tried to kill Goku?"

"Yeah. One of them was a girl. From what Trunks said, the other Trunks I mean." She motioned with a thumb behind her as the infant knocked over a lamp. "Krillin had a thing for her. Trunks wanted me to get a therapist for me, or have an intervention. The intervention didn't work, and I don't want to have to hire a lawyer to get Krillin out of a mental institution."

Could she look within herself to forgive those terrible creations that had showed up and been created to kill her husband? If she stand having Piccolo show up every Sunday to train with Gohan, could she overlook an android? It wasn't as though the woman had actually done anything.

"…Smashed that controller I worked so hard on too. Next time you see him, make sure to smack his head with something, okay? With something really hard."

Chi-Chi nodded, half listening. "Sure. Say, Bulma?"

She made her voice as polite as possible. "If I wanted to find these androids, this android girl-"

"Actually, they're closer to cyborgs."

"Yes, if I wanted to find this girl, would the dragonballs allow me to do that?"

"I guess. But you know, I could probably whip something up to detect them. But why? You can't think this woman, machine parts or not, would go for…" She trailed off, suddenly embarrassed by what unkind thing she was about to say.

"Not that Krillin's not a great guy."

But Chi-Chi's jaw was set.

The widow kept her voice casual. After all, if she could consistently guilt trip and talk Goku and Gohan into doing what she asked, Bulma couldn't be too hard. "I suppose that might be too much to ask of you Bulma. It's probably too complicated."

She stood, straightening her dress. Absently, she reminded herself to dig out her maternity wear before she started stretching things out. "You're busy, with Trunks. And really, you're not so young anymore. It probably isn't easy for you to just shove everything aside and quickly create a device so sophisticated. Maybe the _teenage _you, but not now."

Either Vegeta's huge ego rubbed off, or Bulma was definitely like her husband. "You think I can't make one? Watch me! I'm get you to those androids, and Krillin can date and marry and impregnate one with my blessing. I'll make them name the baby after me. You just see."

"Which one was the one he liked? Does she have a name?"

"I don't care which one. He'll do it to both of them! All three—even the dead one!"

The scientist was already mumbled to herself, eyes focus on blueprints and other things rather than her guest. "…probably some sort of tracking device, so sense their unique energy. Or their mechanical parts. Like a metal detector."

The android, cyborg, whatever, really was a girl. Or at least she looked it. Chi-Chi had imagined something dark, red-eyes, claws. Sharp teeth and spiky hair.

Instead, she was a bony, lifeless looking thing. She seemed to be all pale elbows and white protruding bones, and her black bathing suit didn't help matters. Somehow, the android looked both boyish_ and_ girlish. Some hair fell into her eyes, and she impatiently pushed it aside with a flick of a small hand. Up close, her eyes were less gray and more of a light blue.

The cyborg couldn't be any taller than Chi-Chi, and she had a hard time imagining this girl hurting anyone. She wasn't sure which was more impossible, Krillin liking her, or Chi-Chi having to convince her to like the small man back.

Juuhachigou.

…Or was it Juunanagou?

"Who are you?" The most apathetic voice sounded above, like a truly uncaring god.

Chi-Chi glanced up, at the roof of the small cabin. There, lying on the roof was a young man in a pair of swimming shorts. It was very odd. The sky above with covered with heavy clouds, and there was even the smell of rain in the air. But they were both dressed to go for a dip.

At her curious stare, the blonde one shrugged. "We thought about going swimming. But it wasn't worth the effort to go to the river."

"I see."

About five uncomfortable, awkward minutes passed with no one saying anything, but refusing to break the silence. They all just listened to the others breathing, and the sound of the woods around them. Eventually, the girl android heaved a tired sigh, "Um. Can we _help_ you?"

"Yes. _You _can."

Slim pale eyebrows rose.

"With Krillin—"

She sat up with a jerk, face almost twitching. Angry. Scared. "You're Sons' widow."

"I need you to go out with him. He's a very nice man, and needs a girlfriend."

Watching the small white hands curl into fists, Chi-Chi wondered if maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come out her without one of the fighters.

"I am not going out with that bald little moron. Weirdo. Creep." The girl seemed to be talking to herself at this point. "Bone head. Looks like an octopus."

"If you won't." Chi-Chi sat down, taking the dark-haired twin's seat. "Then I'll just wait until you change your mind."

They shot each other looks. Then smirks not unlike Bulma's from before. Then bounced to their feet. "Alright, sure."

"Have fun out here."

They waved mockingly before entering the small cabin.

So she sat there, and waited. Things came to her, such as maybe _I should have found another babysitter besides Piccolo_, and _I wonder if they're having dinner right now. _Immediately, she missed her sweet affectionate baby.

_They'll be fine without me for a short time._

_I hope Gohan is studying. But if Piccolo's there, he probably isn't. That man wouldn't know linear algebra from a hole in the ground._

_I wonder what Krillin sees in that girl anyway. Sure. She's pretty and young, but really. That attitude. _

_If Krillin wants to date the blonde one, the brunette might come along too._

"Mom?" Gohan timidly came up to her, his hair hanging into his face. "Shouldn't you come home?"

"Not yet, dear."

"This can't be good for the baby," Piccolo grumbled. In the gloomy grey light, he looked particularly tall. His frowning face told her he was willing to carry her back to her house, kicking and screaming. That eyebrow-less face told her that he in fact cared little about her whining, and that he had no problem dragging her back inside.

"I'm doing this for Krillin. Aren't you his friends?"

"What are you talking about?"

The green-skinned man's eyes were narrowed, and the recently widowed woman reminded herself to keep her mind blank.

Peaking through the window curtain was the blonde one. Behind her, her twin was shouting at a TV set that made the room glow a warm orange. Her eyes were a glassy, milky blue from this distance. Juuhachigou's jaw clenched, even when Gohan waved to her.

A very anti-social girl.

Inside, the dark-haired woman was sure that Juuhachigou was pacing. Talking to her twin. 'She's just out there. Waiting.'

In time, her family and whatever Piccolo was to her exactly, left.

By then it was dark out, and she could clearly see the pale face peaking behind the curtain, staring back at her. The sullen pull backwards to hide herself. After another hour, Chi-Chi was imagining a warm pot of tea waiting back at home and a sleeping Goten to check in on, and then the machine was stepping outside.

"Do you know who I am?" Her hands were on her slim hips. Dressed in something more concealing, she looked different from the woman Chi-Chi had met before. "What I am?"

"One of those androids."

"I could have killed your husband. My brother and I were going to."

"I know that. But well, all this time with Goku's friends has gotten me used to that." She cocked a thumb towards the woods. "Piccolo actually did kill my Goku. But now he hangs around my house to bother me and spar with Gohan."

"I'm not going to babysit your son."

"I didn't ask that. But eventually there may come a time where you will want companionship. Or need it, should someone new come to Earth looking for a fight."

"So I should date Krillin, because of that."

"He's a perfectly nice man." Considering she was here to foist Krillin off onto this girl before he got attached to her, Chi-Chi was able to keep her voice guilt free. As unlikely a couple as these two might make, she couldn't picture herself having that sort of relationship herself with Krillin. He needed someone…oh, a little more directionless and without her own family to care for. Someone who could physically throw him out of the house when he would get lost in his thoughts.

"And he likes cooking. He's good at choosing gifts."

Juuhachigou was rolling her eyes.

"He even likes taking girls shopping."

Now there was a blush and a disbelieving look on her pretty face.

"You could do worse," Chi-Chi warned her. "Krillin's fine with the android thing, after all. I think he's so happy to start a family, he'd do it—well, he's a sweet man. And he's looking to settle down."

Right about then, the girl disappeared back into her house and wouldn't leave until the other android kicked her out.

**363. Let's Talk about Anything But You and Me, Okay?**

There had been some uncomfortable moments in Krillin's awkwardly lived life. Especially around girls he liked. Like just about any moment with Bulma before she'd finally settled down with Vegeta (if you could call it that), or Maron who would flirt with every guy, that girl with her little brother he'd saved from Cell, that blue-haired girl Mint who'd been so kind to him as he'd helped her village from going up in flames.

Only Maron had actually gone out with him. The rest had all been vague hopes and dreams.

But then there was that girl he'd flirt with at that club Yamcha had dragged him to, that he'd thought he'd had real chemistry with, only to set her bangs on fire as he'd tried to light her cigarette. Oh, oh, boy, the memories were rolling in while he sat there, sweating. The clerk at the nearest grocery store by Kame House, the one that for horrible various reasons, he could now no longer return to. Bulma's old receptionist that had quit almost coincidentally when he'd continued to show up on thinner and thinner pretenses, hoping for a view of those intelligent green eyes behind those black frame glasses—too smart for a guy like him, to say nothing of the prettiness.

Now here he was, sitting here, waiting with some frustration for either of them to say words made up of only one syllable. With a woman even smarter, more special, classier, prettier, than all those girls put together. Whose teasing alone had made him fall in love with him. Who would also beat him up. Who had been through so much, and had shown that she had little indulgence when it came to his feelings.

Why was she even here?

Juuhachigou really should just run away again, like at Kami's Lookout. Just leave him. For her own good. Before he knocked a pyramid of split pea soup onto her head or spent too long looking at her through the guise of reading a magazine

At least she didn't have bangs to set aflame.

He was being neurotic, sweaty, unable to spit out a complete sentence, but she was still sitting there, maybe waiting for something.

**364. I Wanna Hurry Home To You, Put On A Slow Dumb Show For You, and Crack You Up**

"How the hell did you know I was here?"

He gave a slow smile from his place curled up on the couch, on his side. In the darkness, she could barely see his pale face. "I know all."

"Well. That's cute. But really, how do you always know where I am?"

"I have no idea. I can sense you."

Her eyebrows rose, unseen. Probably. "You can?"

"Right here." Krillin patted his chest, thumping a fist over his heart. "This is where I can sense you, babe."

"You're a moron." And don't call me 'babe.' "Have you been waiting up for me?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Because you were waiting for me. Now go upstairs. To your own bedroom."

"Well, _duh_. Of course I'm going to my own bed."

"Just go there, and sleep. And I'm going to stay down here, and watch TV."

"Watch what? Not much on."

"I'll try and find something."

"I don't think I can sleep with that on. Here's the remote."

"Scoot over."

**365. I'm Not Getting Out of Bed Today**

Juunanagou realized that pulling her hair for the hundredth time, pinching her, punching her back, kicking her legs and face, and yelling at his sister was not going to get her out of bed. She refused to move, only screaming back at him that she wanted to be left alone. When he put snakes in her bed, she flung them out immediately. The bears he dragged in Juuhachigou would shoo out as soon as his back was turned. The bunny situation ended up annoying him more than her.

Especially when he learned those jokes about rabbits and procreation were not ironic jests.

He couldn't just leave her in bed. Though not exactly an expert at psychiatry, Juunanagou was sure this was not a sign of a healthy mind.

Especially as she lay there in some contemplation, for another day. Refusing to move, even when he jumped up and down on her bed, all she did was kick him hard enough to send him flying across the room before rolling over.

"Get up! Get up now!"

And then she'd tossed a pillow at him and screamed for him to get out.

He paced around the living room, stepping over rabbits every few feet.

"I swear! I'll get the superhero squad to come in here! _They love helping people_. The whole Scooby Gang!

"I swear it!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up! And get out of bed!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Goddamnit. You leave me no choice! Remember this. Remember I gave you a chance." He warned the wall, shaking his fist in her direction. Then he stomped through the house, slamming the door. Juuhachigou's relief was nearly palpable, and that only made him angrier.

She probably thought he was bluffing, and was trying to call it. Which meant that now he really would have to contact them, and bring them here.

They came, but only after he'd offered them free food and the promise that he wouldn't attempt to kill anyone.

It wasn't until he walked back in unannounced, sick of the annoying fighters ("you think you might want to go to one of my baseball games? I could get you free tickets"), only to find her still in bed, _with _the bald shrimp next to her, she smug and him scared out of his gored, and once everyone was thrown out and he had a stiff shot of Jim Beam, Juunanagou was able to wonder if maybe instead of being depressed, Juuhachigou had just been looking for an excuse to have that Krillin fellow here.

**366. I Need You Like A Bullet In the Head**

It would have been smart to dissociate himself at this point. Krillin was someone who played for keeps, after all. He'd known that since that remote had been destroyed. A person did not do something so drastic on a whim, especially not someone as loyal and dependable as Krillin.

She'd been _smitten_.

Not a woman to just play with; despite how Bloomer had treated her. He had attempted teasing Krillin, only to be met with a full, unshy gaze back. Unafraid of him. No ignorance or hesitation. A full embrace of what he was, and with no expectations.

It would have been easy to leave her. She asked for nothing.

Standing here in her room, the walls papered with posters and pictures, wearing only jeans, Juuhachigou knew it would just be a matter of lifting the window up and slipping away. Someone as methodical as Krillin could be would make sure it didn't squeak. He already had his socks and shoes, and could not feel any coldness.

"Mm, Juu?"

But god, his own striped shirt and plain black t-shirt hung off the pale shoulders in such a distracting way. Hanging down to mid-thigh. The sleepy look in dark eyes. "Where are you going?"

It took less than a second to slide his shoes off and find himself back into the warm bed.

**367. Such A Silly Thing to Do: Fall In Love With You**

Juunanagou gave her a look beneath his perfectly shaped eyebrows that were nearly as nice as her own. "You're a goner, Juu."

Standing beside the window in neat clothes, Juuhachigou found it easy to turn her head and focus only on her sibling. "What are you talking about?"

"He's hanging around the house, still. Refusing the leave. There's no way you can keep hating him forever."

"We'll see about that."

"Complimenting you, catering to your every whim…"

"How shallow do you think I am?"

"Pretty shallow," Juunanagou admitted. "The shrimp's too nice. If you were going to kill him, you would have done it already. You're not the patient type."

"Maybe I'm just biding my time. You're not the only one that can play games with humans."

"'Course." Juunanagou straightened a wrinkle from his shirt, since forgoing Krillin's offer of the iron. "He's out back. In case you were looking for him."

"I was not."

"Of course you weren't."

**368. How bad will it get, if I let her get to know me?**

All his previous arguments against himself still stood. He didn't even know her. Yes,maybe Juuhachigou knew a lot of things about him, considering she'd been programmed by a mad genius to destroy him and his friends. But her favorite color, what her hobbies were, if she'd even been single (before finding out Juunanagou was her brother), if she even wanted to date anyone…all mysteries.

For all her teasing and emotionless stance, Juuhachigou kept everything well hidden. There was so much more beneath that pale face. As soon as he'd seen her hiding from Cell, he'd known that fact.

The stammering crush that meant nothing.

They hadn't exchanged more than a few sentences. Who was he to claim that he loved her, this woman he didn't know anything about? Did he love her, or the idea of a young woman who'd actually kissed him, and whom he could save and worship at her feet?

Another untouchable girl. She was so unlike Maron, who'd actually liked him, and had gone out with him. Whom he'd actually gotten to know well.

Following that logic, how well did he have to know Juuhachigou to claim that he was indeed in love with her?

Dimly, Krillin could wonder why he'd fallen for such a distant woman, another attempt at keeping people distant from himself, like the jokes and living out here on some island with a bunch of perverts? At the very least, he should have gone on a date or two with her to know whether or not he and Juuhachigou had a future. Or a pleasant conversation without the threat of dying hanging over their heads, or with his best friend having just died.

So if I ever see her again, should I just ask her out? Or keep my distance until…what? I meet someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea.

There's no one else.

No one else.

**369. Before You Hit The Ice**

Bulma had forced them into it. She'd walked in on him and Vegeta watching a movie together—a scary disaster movie that had driven Krillin to nightmares and Vegeta to laughing so hard he nearly cried—and so assumed they were/could be friends.

"It's so nice to see him getting along with someone." Beaming at her lover who was inhaling a sub and getting sauce from the meatballs on his chin, as though he were her son.

Krillin just nodded, hands going to protect his own food. "Um. Alright."

It had been carnage at the table, and after spending two hours watching people die of volcanoes exploding as the comet hit the Earth and people drowning from the rising seas, Krillin had been starving. He would have said anything to get the food that Bulma held over their heads, making him promise that he would come by more.

So he came back a week later, after Bulma had called to remind him, and was shoved out the door less than two minutes later. But now he was with Vegeta, and the blue-haired scientist was with them, and all three were carrying ice skates. The Saiyan looked even more confused than Krillin felt.

Somehow, she got them both into the car and into the ice rank without them realizing they could fly away and escape. Something about her going on and on about how great this was going to be, how awesome, it was just_ great_ that they were all getting along, why hadn't they thought of this earlier?

When it came to him that they could have just left, Krillin was tying the laces to the skates as Vegeta next to him on the heavy bench just stared at his. As though unable to conceive what they did, and what they had to do with him. As funny as the image of the uptight warrior on the ice was, it couldn't bring a smile to his own face as his imagination provided movies of his own self out there. Falling, sliding all over the place, bashing his head open, or bashing the ice open and causing people to be harmed.

**370. And I Won't Be Denied By You, The Animal Inside of You**

Finally, after six weeks of awkwardly trying to date of trying to act normal and like respectable sane adults, Juuhachigou had rationally come to the decision that now was the moment to take whatever virginity Krillin had salvaged from their moments alone together. Yes, he would be shocked and uncertain, and yes, they were right now at a party that his friend Yamcha was throwing, but tonight was it.

Fifteen minutes, Juuhachigou decided to set her imaginary timer for. In fifteen minutes, they would have cramped sex somewhere. There had to be some empty closet somewhere in this gigantic house.

It was really Krillin's fault she felt this way. That sleeveless shirt had crumbled her control and forced her to admire his arms. Take note of the pale skin of his chest that could be seen. It was hot, and that also wasn't improving her mood. Plus, Krillin was wearing shorts, and that was never a good thing. Less clothes than normally, sweaty, basically left alone in a crowded party…even watching him pogoing around on the dance floor hadn't detracted her. Even that he had been sober while doing it only made her like him more.

He was sweet, and hers, and she was fairly sure he wouldn't say no to her request.

Tonight, then.

Bulma eventually came up to her, carrying two red cups full of some liquor, and neither of which was offered to Juuhachigou. "You've been staring at Krillin all night."

"Yes."

"Like. A starving animal. Are you—"

"Yes."

"Oh. Ew. I didn't really need to know that."

"Tonight. Five minutes."

"I don't want to hear the timeline. Right here? At Yamcha's house? Hah, poor Yamcha's house. The safest closet is upstairs, in the gym. It's door is hidden. Pull the medical dictionary in the bookcase on the right, and it'll open up."

"…I think you just ruined this, a little."

**371.** "**Fun or no fun, we'll get to Goku's house a lot faster this way."**

Juuhachigou cowered in the closet, hiding the best she could behind snow shoes and jackets and boots. Besides her, Krillin was practically shivering into her side, seeking comfort. She refused to give him any, hissing into his ear, "We just had to move out to Sons' house."

"I didn't realize how annoyed Chi-Chi was going to be with us."

There was enough strength in her little finger to turn the other woman into a fine layer of ash, many times over. Only a handful of fighters were stronger than her, and once she could have killed all of them with little more than dirtying her clothes. "You should have chopped that wood like she asked, Krillin."

Considering the strongest of the bunch was currently hiding from this woman as well, in the attic, Juuhachigou felt her own reaction was warranted.

"Let's just go back to live with your brother."

"No. Not again." Her hand balled into a fist, remembering the board game and having to sleep on the camper van's table.

"I guess this leaves going to Capsule Corp." His voice was bleak in the narrow box they crouched in. "With Bulma. And Vegeta."

"…let's give it another week here."

**372. I'll Pay For You, Anytime**

"You hand over the mashed potatoes right now, shrimp."

Vegeta would have no problem taking the bowl away, but not without damaging the spuds.

Krillin pulled them closer to his chest. "Let me just get a spoonful, at least."

"You give them over, right now, or I'll blow up your toaster." Precisely, he raised his hand, pointed at the blank-faced blonde cyborg.

Krillin glanced down at the white mash. "Fine. Just lower your hand."

"You hand over the potatoes!"

"You lower your hand!"

"The potatoes, shrimp!"

"The hand…_shrimp_!"

"Can we have one dinner without someone trying to hold someone else hostage?" Bulma asked. It was an increasingly daily occurrence at the Capsule Corp house, since Krillin and Juuhachigou had temporarily moved in.

Juuhachigou was not amused.

**373. I'll be in your car**

**I locked the keys in your car**

**I'll be in your car**

**For now**

Krillin's scream, high-pitched and drawing the attention of the other humans nearby, almost made the humiliation of being here worth it. The heart attack was really a balm for the hours wasted here, waiting for him.

**374.** "**Just Because I'm an Android Doesn't Mean I'm Not Still A Woman."**

In retrospect, shuddering uncontrollably over her touching him was a bad thing to do. She had, in her own twisted way, been vulnerable. Perhaps in the only way she was capable of. Did anyone more than Krillin understand what putting yourself out there in such a way meant? The humiliation of being rejected, even more so with such a physical, visceral reaction from the person that had no interest?

Still, he had shivered in disgust over her whisper and the subtext that was the question, and was rewarded with a broken arm rather than another teasing touch.

**375. A romantic dinner for two but not for me and you**

Seeing them again gave him such a sick thrill that he nearly dry-gagged as he jumped behind a garbage bin and hoped they hadn't spotted him. Bad enough to be viciously murdered as Future Trunks had foretold, but to be killed in some alley while a yellow-eyed cat gave him a dirty look seemed just a pathetic way to go. As one of Earth's strongest fighters, at least he shouldn't die cowering, though. Krillin drew himself to his feet, trying not to quiver in his weighted boots.

"You're such a moron!"

"Why can't you be reasonable? Just this once?"

"Because _you're_ a moron!"

They were fighting. Looking ready to start tugging at the other's hair.

At least they weren't trying to hurt anyone else. No one seemed to be getting murdered. Yet.

It was just a matter of time before Juuhachigou was killing kids rather than trying to trip Juunanagou up while he went around the other side of the van. The pink van. The darker android looked the same, if only with moderately more mussed hair, but the pale girl had gotten different clothes. Nice ones. She actually looked normal, as she laughed over the other android falling against the side of the van hard enough to dent the metal siding.

Juunanagou only gave her a look promising revenge as he picked himself off.

It was a terrible look, no matter how Juuhachigou laughed it off while looking particularly darling in that vest and those dark jeans. How could she put up with him? Yes, they could both be homicidal and sarcastic, and seemed to be the same age, and had been created together, to be each other's partners, but he was cruel in a way she wasn't. Even if she had swung poor Trunks into Vegeta.

Because she had, she had been teasing before. Vegeta had started everything. And there…there was a sense of humor to her, harmless. Like that kiss. Something any normal girl could have done, or well, not that there were a lot of girls going around kissing him, but messing with him was behavior he was well acquainted with.

They were still bickering. Maybe that's why they were so cruel: relationship problems. Like when Vegeta and Bulma would scream at each other, because of the romantic tension that had become only obvious after she'd shown up with Trunks.

He could—maybe he could help with that. If they liked each other, maybe they'd be less homicidal. Love solved everything he'd always been led to believe.

Look at Vegeta: probably less homicidal since Bulma.

His plan, born out of a hundred romantic comedies watched with envy and cynical-ness of the hopeful, came together as he followed them. Keeping his ki low, and his eyes on what he'd need as he flew behind them. Thankfully, in this residential area they drove through with the same bliss a missile might show, there were plenty of stores. After they'd stopped to camp in a forest on the outskirts of the town, and the two small androids had left to see a movie, Krillin laid out his trap. Thankfully, the big guy was busy exploring with much rustling, the wild life. The wooden green bench and table were easily brought over, and the white table cloth he bought covered most of the obscene graffiti.

Who made this, was it you, no I thought you did, Juurokugou no, aw, it's so sweet of you to do this, it must have been you.

In the darkness, with only candles and a thoughtful fire extinguisher set besides the wine bottle, it made a nice picture. It was_ romantic_. Krillin hardly believed he could have made something so pretty. For the sake of the world, making well, Juuhachigou, and of course Juunanagou happy, he had brought out the best in himself. He allowed himself a moment of appreciation for this, this thing that might save the entire world. It wasn't easy, to cook out here, and in under two hours' time to make sure he wouldn't be caught. Now where was the potato peeler.

He would have killed for someone to care enough to do this for him. Or to have someone for him to do this with. No one could resist such a charming scene. Maybe they should have tried this with Frieza.

For the third time, he found himself in an awkward position involving the androids, and for the second time, he hid from them.

They stood there, staring, disturbed, at the place setting and table.

"…what the hell?"

"…did Juurokugou do this?"

"Maybe. Him and his squirrels."

"I…don't even want to know."

Juunanagou was looking around. "It smells alright. I'm sure him and his bird friends won't mind if we eat some of this. How much can a bird eat, anyway?"

"Depends how many there are. And stop saying that about him."

"C'mon. Just sit down."

They looked charming, sitting there, messing with the bread bowl and poking at the veil cutlets and fresh fish. "You know, whose ever this is, we should probably finish it before someone shows up."

Juuhachigou had the more suspicious mind. "Is this even okay? What if it's poisoned?"

"You think the Scooby gang did this?" Juunanagou was already digging into the bread and soup and butter.

Less charming: the way they ate. Not unlike Gohan and Goku, really. A little neater. Less sauce in the hair. At least, Juunanagou was like that.

The blonde one wasn't touching anything. "It could be. You're probably dying Juunanagou."

He shrugged.

"Krillin." A deep voice seemed to echo through the clearing. Bouncing off that stupid van. "Krillin. Best friend to Goku. What are you doing here?"

"Shush!" He nearly screamed, knowing that it was already too late.

The two other androids were frozen, eyes wide. Looking towards the bushes he was crouched in, and Juurokugou stood conspicuously in.

"Told you. You're going to die young, Juunanagou."

The darker android was staring with something close to alarm at his pasta.

"Bring him here, Juurokugou." Juuhachigou was crossing her legs, glaring.

If he was going to die, it might have been nice not to be picked up and carried to that death. He felt like a kitten, as Juurokugou grabbed the scruff of his neck and brought him to the blonde.

"What did you do to the food?" Juunanagou demanded. "And the wine?"

"I told you not to touch anything!"

"I didn't do anything to it!"

"Then what the hell was this, if not a dumb trap that only my idiotic brother would fall for?"

Juunanagou glared at her.

Krillin meanwhile, was being set down at her feet. And trying to understand what she'd said, in-between being glad that she wasn't wearing a skirt while he sat there at this angle. The worst part of him, the part that hadn't made the sauce, noticed things like that, and that she was as single as a homicidal android could be.

"Oh, oh my god, you're siblings. I had no idea." He nearly began to laugh a trifle hysterically, until he received twin blue glares. That shifted away from him and towards the silverware and dishes. Then start to yell at him.

"How could you possibly think that? That's disgusting! What is wrong with you?"

"I was just trying to help!" Krillin tried to reassure her. Siblings. Not lovers.

"So, it's not poisoned?" Juunanagou asked, while digging into the pasta.

"No, it's fine. Of course I wouldn't try to poison you. That would be very dishonorable. And I wasn't sure if you two could even eat." Only Juuhachigou caught that last line, and gave him an evil look.

"Juunanagou. Would you wait? Make him taste something, to make sure. Here, eat this."

His brain wouldn't just let him suffer quietly, as he waited for his death. It made sure to remind him that this was the closest thing he'd gotten to a romantic dinner with candlelight, as Juuhachigou practically unhinged his jaw as she forced a roll and half a flank steak down his throat. Then let him lie there at her feet, trying not to gag, as she went, 'huh,' and decided to dig in herself. Plus the shoe pressed into his forehead, followed by her voice as she said that as soon as they were done, he could clean this up for him. And then wash their van, after dessert. Now get up and serve them wine properly, and he better not expect a tip for this.


	16. 376 thru 400

**A.N.: I'm not really sure how long all the chapter would be added up together, but this chapter alone is forty pages so...I'm not sure about making 199 into a one-shot, but maybe I'll have a follow up to that prompt. I can say later to readers that ask for more Zangya, she will make another appearance later on. And jealous Juuhachigou is always fun to write, as are AU stories. Plus, because it's such fertile ground, there will definitely be a couple more stories taking place in the Trunks' timeline. **

**In which things are cut off in the night, pictures are taken, and there is some teaching and too much drinking, and some jealous Krillin that also shows that he can be crazier than an android created to destroy the Earth. **

_My head, my hands, my shoes, my feet, my arms, my legs, my knees_

_They're sticking to the sheets_

_I see your face but not your name_

_Oh what's the difference it's all the same_

_My mind you start to see as they're looking through your lips they're sticking to my cheek_

_I see your face but not your limbs I kiss my mind decided to trim_

_You're not even real, you're not even real_

_Oh you're not even real, you're not even real_

**-Sticking To the Sheets, Hello Ocho**

* * *

**376. Look Back On All the Damage We Have Done To Each Other**

"Oh, Vegeta did try to grow that tail off during those seven years. As an experiment. I suppose."

"So, what happened?"

"I chopped it off while he was sleeping." Her shrug was blasé, while both Krillin and Juuhachigou had to recoil. At the image, really, despite that their common sense agreed with such a move. So easy to picture someone asleep, while Bulma came up behind them with a butcher knife. The blood and screams. "What, c'mon! He would have destroyed the planet like that! And please, like Chi-Chi never tried to hit Goku with various things. And threatening him with shots to make sure he wore clothes in mixed company.

"Plus, you tried to kill Krillin. That makes you worse." Bulma leaned back in her chair.

Krillin glanced at Juuhachigou, who was still looking at the scientist with both fright and respect. "She never really tried. Not really. We mostly just talked, the first time we met. Sure, she scared me. And then I later almost tried to shut her down, but no one has been stabbed so far."

**377.** "**Hey don't sweat it Krillin. I know you wouldn't have broken that controller unless you had a good reason."**

With rising guilt, fear, and horror, Krillin decided to reclick the button. What more damage could it do, as he looked down into pale lifeless eyes. Juuhachigou sat up with a start, out of his lap, looking around. "What happened?"

His left hand pulled away from his mouth. Both parts of his body were trembling, and his stomach was a giant knot. "I used the remote for the TV. And you just fell over."

"The remote. For the TV?"

"Yes."

"Oh god. Oh god. Shit. It was that stupid Auxiliary button wasn't it. That stupid useless button."

Together, they both watched him crush the remote as her brother had done, and breathed a sigh of relief. You okay? I'm fine, you were the one shut off. Yes, but you looked more frightened of that fact. They were both glad to be fully alive, even if Cell wasn't here to chase them, even when Roshi and Oolong began asking them if they'd seen the TV remote anywhere.

**378. You're Fucking Awesome**

He found himself saved by her, this entire alien planet, when she came in like she'd taken a leaf from Goku's book. Had Gero installed something that made her timing so impeccable? Something that had told her how to show up here of all places, that had driven her to following them, that confirmed that yes, Krillin had indeed seen her out of the corner of his eye when he was at Kami House or in public or at Capsule Corp, as Bulma fretted and argued and eventually talked her friend back into space?

Juuachigou was all grace and fire, and Krillin remembered her beating up Vegeta in those easy strokes. Cutting him to pieces aggressively, _controlled_, in a way that showed she'd had the upper hand all along. Now that scary android, the machine-woman was here and decimating her enemy without a smile.

This person before Krillin that had been replaced with the young human woman, revealed to have fear and hopelessness and reluctant kindness. Vulnerability beneath the sarcasm and mocking laughter. He'd fallen in love with both, meshed and enmeshed together, and he'd been stupid enough to think _that _had been the sum of her.

Bulma, the entire other reason they were in this mess because she had to go looking for Vegeta—who was the other reason he was here—nudged him in the ribs, grinning despite her bruises. Krillin forgave whatever resentment he might have had, while they'd waited for the alien crimelord to murder them both. "You're totally drooling over your new little hero over there."

Oh, but she didn't know. And Krillin decided for not to tell her for a minute, and to simply savor that yes, his, their, _hero_ had shown up in the nick of time. This whole new side to appreciate: Juuhachigou, the protector of the weak. How could she do this to him, make him forget his fear and injuries, and even his relief, under this smothering of love that was more painful than any punch?

Then the cyborg was turning on them, after having blown a hole large enough to fit several of her amazingly small fists into the almost-torturer, yelling at them for being idiots, _stupid weak humans._

"Jeez. Thanks."

"Really, Juuhachigou. Thanks. You're a godsend. What are you doing here? I can't believe how easily you beat that guy. Wait, I can." Then he was laughing, and trying not to hug her.

"'Juuhachigou?' How do you two know each other?"

"Oh. You know. She helped us fight Gero. And Cell."

**379. Moxibustion**

Juuhachigou got her revenge. For what, neither Krillin nor Bulma could exactly explain, and Vegeta and the toddler Trunks could only laugh.

But she had pointed a laser at his head, and pulled the trigger, so clearly she had been pissed at him for something.

It was not much of a consolation, as he ran a hand down his forehead, across, and listened to Bulma freaking out because that device was new, Juuhachigou, and not to played with, what if you broke it—or hurt Krillin. Yeah. "How are you over there?"

"Alright. Think. No blood?"

The two women nodded.

"No blood. That's good."

"Krillin. Hey. Your dots…"

"-My Orin temple markings? Wait. What happened? Why are there no mirrors here, the one place in your house that isn't full of mirrors!"

Maybe it was seeing Vegeta laugh, and her hatred of him that kept Juuhachigou's face straight, and actually helping him find something shiny to see his reflection in. If only that gesture hadn't been enough alone to make him forgive whatever new scarring he now had. His face had never exactly been all that great, but-

"Where are my scars?"

"Guess that laser got rid of them." The android was keeping her voice steady and level. Reasonable.

While he gaped and hated the redness that had soaked up the marks he'd carried since he was a small child, lingering marks that he had _liked_ about his face, and now left his round mug empty. The small marks left on his forehead after growing out his hair (a change that alone he was still dealing with), were gone, and Krillin couldn't say he much cared for their missing presence. His face now. Every day it seemed to get a little different, a little foreign, and all because of one person.

"Did you plan on that the entire time, Juu? Is that what that thing with the laser was?"

"…sure."

**380. I'm Just A Boy With A New Haircut**

All his dumbass friends went along with it. Oh, no, you look good, keep growing it out. Really…it's something. Better than being bald.

Morbid curiosity.

Juuhachigou had to put a stop to it. It was getting out of hand. Reminded her disturbingly of her own brother, as it finally reached the bottom of his ears. His was at least was moderately curled, and much thicker. You could tell, from when she and the boys would grab a handful and tug. Despite his whining, or because of it, it was a nice thing to experience. And it was shaggier than Juunanagou's. But she had to stop it before it reached his shoulders.

That was vital.

Just like his friends, she'd encouraged him to continue growing it out, months ago. When it had just qualified as fuzz. He'd been cutely nervous over it, and had wanted her opinion. Had taken her shrug as a sign to let it get out of control. To use her hairdryer on it, and steal her conditioner that she could smell red-handed on him.

Juuhachigou waited until he'd fallen asleep on the couch, late at night, moving from her place hidden beneath the window. Another five minutes passed, while she fingered the comb and scissors in her back pocket, and watched him fall into a deeper sleep. She crept up to him, silent as a ghoul, hand gently slipping into his hair.

Really, just a slight trim, how hard could it be, and it would grow back. He was used to shaving his head, if this attempt at evening it out failed, as it was currently doing since her hands were devoid of muscles when they held scissors. And Krillin would forgive her, no matter what she did. So long as she said she was sorry, and that she insisted that he looked good.

**381. A Job that Slowly Kills You**

Despite Bulma's claim that he could do this, that they would get drunk tonight, and she knew a psychiatrist he could see when he needed anti-depressants, Krillin had to get out of this office right now. He peeled open the window in the lowest men's room, one of the few in this building that opened to guard against someone jumping out like they did in the casinos, and crawled through. The bushes and dirt were sweeter than the stale air and fluorescent lights humming overhead. Sunlight.

He ran away from his office job like he'd used to run from his playground bullies. The tie and leather shoes were the only difference, truly.

Nimbly, Krillin through traffic, thinking that at least that would keep him from this place, coma, being killed, a broken leg or two. Leaves still hung inside his shirt from his dive out. Sun and street vendors and pretty girls in short skirts out here. It was all beautiful, and if he had to die, better here than with an ulcer in there. Even this bistro was too close, however, and he had to keep going, with a big dumb grin on his face. Could feel the wind pulling at his hair like never had when he'd raced around on his bike, not a thought in his bald head. Raced like he'd used to under Roshi's training. His hair longer now, but still trimmed to look like any other office worker. Could nearly feel it against the hair against his lower and upper lip and chin, a goatee thing he'd grown to the groans of his friends (and Vegeta's never explained extra horror), as a compromise to the beard that they all claimed made him look like dwarf heading for the mines.

Krillin ran through the streets and alleyways, with his tie trailing like a tongue.

_I will get my bike again. I will race again, even not competitively. I will ask a pretty girl, maybe one of those girls in those spring shorts, out on a date. I will. _

Then a pink delivery van coming from his right stopped hurdling itself at him, slowing, time slowed, slowling to only nudge his hip and sent him flying. Right next to a bunch of garbage can, he finally landed.

_I will never walk again. Oh, oh god._

"Oh my god." A girl hopped out. Rubbing her forehead, shoving gold hair out of her eyes. Muttering to herself. "Oh, god, I am a bad driver. Juunanagou was right. Fuck that stereotype. I'm just bad. Fuck. It's not even Juurokugou, I can't drive away. Are you still alive?"

"I think I will be. Could you help me up?"

"Can you stand up?"

"I think so." Krillin saw clean good looks, at odds with her fear, and cursing.

"I've never hit anyone with a car before."

Please don't sue me, the subtext to every bite to her lower lip.

Under different circumstances, Krillin might have just stumbled away, blushing, but that old Krillin was dead. He'd died in that men's bathroom, and whatever he was no had slipped through the window to leave that corpse behind. Maybe it was just the brain damage.

"I think I know you. From somewhere."

"What's your name?"

"Juuhachigou. And you're…K something. My step-father Gero tried to countersue your company. And then your friend, Goku."

It had to be some fate, right? For them to have some connection. Funny too, considering the threats Gero had thrown around. Now this girl who'd been raised by him had in fact nearly killed him. How nice her pale eyes were. Somewhere between gray and blue.

"Well. Juuhachigou. Pretty name. How about we go get something to eat, and we'll see how I feel about my damages."

A flicker of anger. Wide-mouthed. A full wide mouth that was meant for kissing. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"No. I just would like to better know you."

"Your facial hair is the stupidest thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah, but you're good-looking enough for the both of us," he reasoned.

"Even your tie's a mess."

Aside from her not wearing a skirt, the day was going exactly as he'd dreamed.

* * *

When Bulma called him, it was two days later, and he was the midst of falling in love with a girl that was reluctant to even call him a friend, even as he slept on her couch. It had been Juuhachigou, who was responsible for that call. She'd been the one to fix his phone by slamming it a few time into the old TV, and then when that didn't work, taking it apart and pushing little green bits back into place.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Better than fine, standing there in his under shirt and suit pants, watching and helping Juuhachigou make dinner. "More pepper?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Really, Bulma, I'm doing just fine."

"That better not be a euphemism," Juuhachigou muttered, stirring the sauce.

"You're name's not 'Just Fine' is it?"

She flicked tomatoes onto him.

Krillin stood there, grinning in his stained shirt. Face shaved bare for the first time in a few months. Better, she'd declared, leaning in too close but not close enough. "My phone's been a mess is all."

"And the job?"

"I'm out. That's all."

"You're 'out'? Sick?"

"Of it."

"Huh." She was looking at him. "I brought a bum into my home?"

"I can pay rent," he whispered. "I paid for the groceries."

"You didn't need to do that."

"I was sick of eating peanut butter and oyster crackers. It's fine. We were both hungry and needed food."

"Why don't you go home, then, and get food there?"

Krillin grinned, fluttering his eyelashes. "I don't like my home. It's nice here."

There was another minute where they were both sure the other was going to finally snap and they could kiss, and move on from there. To whatever the hell might happen. But it passed as Bulma screamed his name.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done there. I need something else. Anywhere else. No more of that. 'Soul-sucking,' that doesn't begin to describe it. Anything good was just gone. It became a matter of helping terrible people get away with things. I couldn't stomach it."

"How about this?" She held up the wooden spoon for him to taste.

"Good. The sauce. Not that people think I went missing. Where am I? At a friend's house. No one you know. Yes, you don't know everything about my life."

"I'm not a friend. Just a girl you talked into letting you inside while to attained squatter's rights."

"I need some clothes. We should go shopping."

"Really?"

"Is that a woman?" Bulma asked, more perplexed than ever. He was not the type to keep his mouth shut when it came to possibly having a girlfriend, and especially not about a girl that would actually take him into her house.

"Yeah. I think she is. No, no she definitely is. Only a woman would glare like that. Ow. Stop it. Of course you're a woman. I'm not blind. Despite your best efforts."

"You got a girlfriend?"

"No. Just a friend. That likes to pinch me ow."

"Be a man about it." Her bright head came in contact with his own. Headbutting him, not nuzzling.

"I've got to go prove my manhood, Bulma. Talk to you later."

But Juuhachigou was impossible to make flinch, not matter how hard he pinched her.

And she was a student. Something he could have guessed without seeing her apartment, considering her age and clothes. The apartment itself a cool little place that she'd let him into over his pleading that he was harmless, she could hang onto his wallet to make sure he wouldn't take anything, even though that painting was great over there, and so were the photographs.

Juuhachigou had taken the wallet. And Krillin hadn't stolen anything from her.

Dinner take-out, and then breakfast peanut butter and oyster crackers and lunch the same until he was talking Juuhachigou out of the apartment and into sunlight. She needed to leave the house more, rather than hiding away, and not looking stunning in the light on her pale skin and hair. Just to the store, but even that had delighted him. He didn't know who she was exactly, but he wasn't so sure what he was either at this stage. It was easier to just go on intuition, and buy their favorite snacks.

"We should go to a museum."

"What?" She was messing the burners. Cooking was one of those things the super competent woman didn't care much for doing. Like driving safely. "A museum. Right now?"

"Or tomorrow. That would be good."

"Alright. I have a class at noon, though. Until two. You want to go after."

"Sure. They should still be open. Then we can get dinner or something after."

"That we can do. Anything museum in mind?"

"Nope. We'll just find one somewhere and go there. Maybe even a railroad museum. Oooh."

"I'll hit you with my van again if you take me to a railroad museum. Now don't check me out when I bend over to check on the potatoes in the oven."

"'Course not. Here's the pot holders."

* * *

It had been in the grocery store where she'd realized things were more serious than his joking implied. From her end. They'd gone past, him literally gliding as he jumped on the cart and sent it flying, what are you six?, the isle with condoms and lubrication, and she'd thought just briefly that maybe she should have gone down there. That would have ruined something, if she'd told him that. But she could have said she wanted some cookies or something, and gone down there.

He was living with her, now. Basically.

She'd finish with this class, and go home to find him there. Cooking something or reading or watching TV. A bum, she'd called him, and maybe he was. But he had a nice wallet for that, and good shoes and a tailored suit and money in the bank, and should have been the awkward college student, not here. The man who blushed when they stood too close. Krillin, who had yet to kiss her.

Who had supposedly raced bikes before retiring to a boring job he couldn't stand to discuss. He preferred to hear about her Calculus 2 class that she had at seven in the morning. Or where she'd gotten this couch or where she'd taken that picture. Tell me more about your twin brother.

She didn't know what he was. Juuhachigou didn't think he was lying, and had overheard enough from his friends on the phone to either make this a very elaborate scheme for some broke college student's ancient computer with a flickering screen, or that he was actually who he claimed to be by way of a startlingly pretty mouth or his wallet ID.

It was like being married, coming home to this pleasant stranger who always made sure she had something to eat and wanted to hear about her day so far. Her wide-eyed glance behind him, this short guy keep harassing me and trying to rub my shoulders, but he keeps missing this spot on my right side. So far, that and a tired kiss to the top of her head was as sexual as it go. Aside from just stealing glimpses at each other and praying for one of them to be thrown onto the counter in the kitchen, and ravaged. Neither had any pajamas in the increasingly warm weather. He would just wear his boxers or maybe those and a shirt, while she would do about the same. Then he would do crunches while she watched.

It would have been nice if he just grabbed her, even if would confirm her worst expectation of him. But Krillin hadn't even gone into her bedroom as far as Juuhachigou could tell, let alone sorted through her underwear. Hadn't even taken any money from her.

It was during some outing to the park with a picnic basket and a blanket, with him leaning into her, that Juuhachigou thought she might have understood some of his problems drifting beneath the obvious.

"Juuhachigou? Are we friends?"

"I suppose. What do you want?"

"A hug?" His smile easy.

"What for?"

"I feel like you saved my life."

"I hit you with my car."

"But if you hadn't, I might have gone back there."

"You decided not to go back. Don't blame or thank me. Your depression is your own thing, Krillin."

"Is that what I am? Depressed?"

"Yes. Maybe. And running away from it. I can't even imagine what your apartment looks like at this state."

"I know. I should go back to it." His hand crept up her back, massaging. Harmless as such a thing with a guy you didn't know well, but thought was cute could be. Safer, really, than that. Krillin had plenty of chances to rob or murder her or murder and then skin her to wear for a suit.

"You're going to leave?"

"Maybe. That might be for the best. Before you start to hate me."

"I'm not going to hate you. Not yet. We're not conjoined. You can leave. I can't hold you to even a lease."

At this stage, she wished she'd worn a bra as his hand moved up. "I can go there. To at least get things."

"Like pajamas."

"What, you don't like seeing me walk around in the mornings and evening in just my underwear?"

"Mm. Depends on my day."

"Oh. That's interesting."

"If I'm in the mood for a laugh, I don't mind," she explained.

"Good to know. Want the last piece of pie?"

So he left, and thankfully she had class then so she could at least distract herself a little from wanting to get drunk or something. He was gone, and she'd probably never see him again. Just some weird stage in his life. Lie to his friends, say he was banging some college student for a while but got bored, maybe take her toaster or something while she was gone. The closest thing to a date she'd had in some time, and the closest she'd had to a serious, living-together relationship ever. He had been better than any of the other men in her life, caring and forgiving, able to hold a conversation, look good in suits that he actually owned and with whom she could have stood to cuddle with. Sweet. A shame that he'd left her alone to brood. But Juuhachigou had opened the door, and found him there, ironing in swim trunks.

"Want to go swimming at that public pool down the street?"

He had suitcases, two, and also nicely made. Nothing weird in them either. Not even any porn. And if he had tried to use her computer for that, best of luck. The worse thing was him having flip-flops now. And an expensive bike he took very seriously. Put the thing out in her patio, with a heavy lock, and would regularly oil it and take it out when she was at school. Promised to buy her a bike too, despite her saying she wasn't interesting, no, she didn't care how supposedly magical it was. The trips meant he'd bring back flowers, and took more showers and now wanted to give her more back massages in some weird attempt at releasing both their sexual tension. And he'd put up a pull-up bar.

Maybe the exercise helped with whatever depression he had, and therefore effected things like that. But she damn well knew those back rubs weren't helping either of them when it came to controlling themselves. Sweet, and not too dumb, and who always gave her the remote, and didn't mind her sarcasm, and with the body of an athlete even while he had that round harmless face.

Her brother stopping by brought everything to its head. As usual, he came by with a bag of dirty clothes and dumb souvenirs. And wanted to know every tiny details about how her life had changed since the last time they'd actually talked face to face. Krillin had taken the dirty laundry with the promise of taking it down to the basement where the laundry rooms were located. "This is your boyfriend?"

Juuhachigou felt a moment of panic, just like when they were in public and someone saw them and thought so clearly that they were dating that you could hear it across the room. She couldn't say anything. Not to her twin, who knew her better than anyone. Thankfully, Krillin wasn't in his underwear, and looked moderately presentable.

"My name's Krillin." A curious glance at Juuhachigou.

"You two are living together? The last I heard from you, you were still single. Weren't you flirting with some dumb artist guy that didn't actually like you much and that you'd kinda admittedly hated at this point? Is this him?"

"No!"

Krillin's grin was brilliant. "Wow. Juu. You have to tell me about that later."

"He's my…I don't know."

"Well, I'm living here. On that couch."

"There. Like a roommate? But without the room."

Whatever he was, he was laughing at that. Fair enough.

"Juuhachigou. Really?"

"Oh, please, you are more messed up than I am when it comes to this. I'm still not sure if you're into mammals or not."

"I'd like to think I've evolved to the things that walked on land at some state, at this point."

Krillin was charmed by all this. He had never seen the eyebrow shaving fiasco of their teens or the dares or the pinching fights.

"What's this guy's deal?"

"He rides a bike around. I don't know."

"God. Wow. Juuhachigou. He has fewer tattoos than I expected for the guy you'd finally snap and shack up with."

"Shut up. He worked at some firm a while ago. And if he has any tattoos, they're discreet."

They both looked Krillin over. "Where?"

"I don't know. We're not dating."

"Hm?"

"I've never seen him naked, Juunanagou."

Maybe this wasn't the best conversation to have in front of Krillin.

"You have sex in the dark."

"We don't have sex at all. At all. Never have. Not once. Or anything similar."

"You're both straight?"

"Yes." She corrected herself, remembering his obsession with his best friend. "I think he is."

"Hey. I am too straight."

"Oh, this is just sad. Are you two just stumbling around each other, drooling?"

"You can leave now, Juunanagou. I'll see you at Christmas."

"I really do need my laundry done."

"Here." She took the bag from Krillin, and threw it into her twin. "The soap's under the sink. There are quarters in the drawer. Go."

He pulled the bag into his arms, trying for dignity. "Fine. I don't stay where I'm not wanted. I'll just do my laundry, and stay for dinner. But that's it!"

"Go then!"

Her new friend watched them, taking in every gesture as they threatened to pinch one another. Juunanagou went into the kitchen with a sneer to take all her quarters and make a sandwich with all the cheese in her fridge.

His hand, small, went to her back. Like what she really needed was a back rub right now. Moving in the usual circle, his voice was low and thoughtful, "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't checked you out when you mess with something in the oven."

She'd_ known_ it. "Let's wait until my brother's gone. To discuss this."

"Do we have something to discuss?"

"I said wait."

Krillin decided that was the moment to show off the strength in those muscles that she got a chance to admire when he would lift those weights he'd brought from his home. With a flourish, he pulled her into his arms, and_ dipped _her. She felt like a moron, but was glad for his arm around her back to keep her steady, even if it was his fault she felt like this.

All smugness and a freshly shaven upper lip. "I told you I know how to dance."

"Damn you. This doesn't count."

"Hey. You guys, where's the mustard?"

It was strange to look up at Krillin. Stranger still to see him annoyed. "It's in the crisper."

"Why?"

"There was no room on the side drawers for it."

Juuhachigou rolled her eyes, crossing her arms the best she could at this angle. "Are you finally going to make a move or not?"

He smiled brilliantly at her, while her knees went fluttery again. "Are you saying I can kiss you? And our relationship will not be negatively affected?"

"Depends how bad you are at kissing."

"Oh. Oh."

"Just relax, and press your face into mine."

"That's how you describe kissing?"

"Is your lack of a nose going to be a problem?"

"Only if you find it distracting. I can hold my breath for a long time."

"Good to know."

About ten seconds into the kiss, they'd fallen onto a TV remote and her DVD player, and after another twenty, no longer even cared about that.

"Can you two not make out while I'm here? Eugh. You just ruined this sandwich. You're not doing it right, either. How are you even breathing?"

**382. I'm Far Too Shy to Speak to You At School**

He should have known better to have let his guard down. The other bullies he could handle, (meaning dodge) but Juuhachigou was like a ninja. Graceful, and without appearing to care in the least about Krillin. Would be in the middle of talking to her brother, walking along and not sparing him a glance as he died a little standing there, staring at her and praying for a smile as she'd bestowed on him only once.

The time Juuhachigou had so thoughtlessly taken the heart he wasn't sure had existed, and yanked it out to toss aside and wipe her hands on her jeans before walking away. Krillin's chest hadn't stopped hemorrhaging since that brief kiss that might have technically been a form of assault.

Then her hand mind slip out quick as anything in nature, and punch him in the head.

Or shove him, without a single glance back, into a locker.

Only with her did such violence occur to him, and only to him, and Krillin liked to tell his bruised reflection in the boy's bathroom mirror that it meant they had a connection.

**383. I Don't Mean No Disrespect When I Start Staring, Knowing that It Makes You Angry**

Krillin's face for once didn't go pale or flush red. He just stared back at her. "What?"

All her muscles seemed to locked up. Her stomach had a lump of a hot metal in it. The short fighter was impossible to focus away from. He even had a heaving chest, a line between his eyes while he stomped around. Any second, Krillin looked ready to start throwing things, or grab her and throw her out of the house. Muscles tensed and starkly outlined as those eyes blazed. And of course that moment when he'd forgive her afterwards. Juuhachigou had to resist the urge to lick her lips. "You look ridiculous when you're angry."

"I'm _furious_. Why are you staring at me? Am I not allowed to be upset?"

"Oh, know, go ahead. If you wouldn't mind undoing a few buttons on your shirt. As revenge against my transgressions."

"Why do you always try to get me naked when I'm upset?" His face went slack. "Why _do you_?"

"Uh. You know. To make you feel more comfortable, so you're more likely to forgive me. For whatever you think I've done wrong. Please tell me again why I did wrong. How are you going to punish me, Krillin?"

"You are sick."

She put her hand on his knee. "Is that what you think is wrong with me? How are you going to fix that?"

"This is not foreplay. You forgot to buy diapers."

Juuhachigou removed her hand. "That's your job! We agreed on that. And I told you, I thought we had more in the back of the closet."

"You didn't think to check? Now I have to go out shopping. And your daughter is swaddled in newspapers and old crossword magazines."

"Oh, oh, god. I am terrible. No wonder you were so angry."

"Now, now, it's okay." Krillin patted her knee, hand moving upward as he kept his eyes perfectly wide and guileless. "You can make it up to me when I get back."

**384. Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs, and what's wrong with that**

It hung in the air, sticky-sweet, the month after she'd flown away from him. Taunting him with its bliss, those saccharine lyrics, not quite pleading to everyone listening. Statements. He heard it endlessly. Even the things following it, as blind and catchy as this one, didn't annoy Krillin as much as this one did.

Love wasn't silly, no, with that he agreed with. Because it was nothing but misery!

"Why are you yelling at the radio?" The tone was one reserved for the mentally ill.

"_Why_? Because some people are trying to be bitter, that's why! Some people don't _have_ a significant other to sing to! Some people had the woman they love take off without a backwards glance and may never see them again. That's why!"

"Krillin. Stop yelling at the radio, and just drive us to the magazine store. A new issue of _Jugs_ is out. And you can get your usual crossword puzzle."

"Fine. Because that's all I'm good at. That's the woman I will ever know. Five letters down. The thing I will never get to be with. Eleven letters. Beautiful, unattainable, classy and intelligent, with the sweetest laugh, blonde with perfect blue eyes that could beat me up. Juuhachigou."

Juuhachigou, who should definitely not sleep with a guy who said things like that.

"You can tell she's smart, based on the fact that she ran away from you."

"Literally?"

"Yes. But she ran away from all of us. Technically. So she could fly away."

Love was definitely not coming. The song was right about that.

**385. I'll Hide You From the Cops**

He'd gone into the bank to deposit a check he'd gotten from Bulma for helping with some construction jobs, something he'd put off until he'd gotten back to West City for Goku's wake, and then he'd unarmed that gunman and taken the weapon because he couldn't just leave it there, there were children there! And of course he'd chased after the guy, holding that gun straight up so it would be harder to hurt anyone, and no, when he'd picked up that bag of money, it was only so he could later return it as he chased the real villain into a dark ally. When the cops had arrived, he'd only waved the gun as a sign of nervousness, not to threaten. Taking the guns from the cops had only been a precaution, because they looked so scared, and such people shouldn't be armed.

Of course, the SWAT team, that demanded that he give up his hostages, _they_ wouldn't hear any of his excuses. Instead, they just pulled out dangerous sniper rifles and took aim.

Krillin took the guy's mask, to hide his identity and not show up on the news to scare his friends, and went running further into the city. He had enough sense not to fly, and further frighten everyone, but instead stuck to scaling buildings and ducking through windows, easily ducking away from those people just trying to do their job.

It had been subconscious, maybe, or fate, to follow what looked like an orange bandana hanging on a laundry line. To leap onto that balcony, spinning, falling, dusting himself off and hiding behind the wall, turning and seeing a blonde startled face peeking through the blinds. Why did she always have to look so scared when he showed up?

There was no one more harmless than Krillin. The only things that had to beware of him were fish around Kame House near lunch time, and the really weak bad guys that threatened innocents.

Politely, he knocked on the door while she made a move as though to close the drapes. "Please. I need to hide for a few minutes."

"From who?" Her voice, muffled by the glass or not, was still perfection in velvet.

"From the cops."

Juuhachigou opened the latch, every movement slow. "Why are you wearing a ski mask? And in all black?"

"It's complicated."

She must have seen his desperation, and felt empathetic. Hadn't their own situations been reversed, with her running and him…trying and failing to save her?

"Fine. You can stay here. Only until the police stop searching."

There was a homey rug in the living room, a nice neutral couch, magazines fanned out on the coffee table. A maple table where her twin brother sat at, judging his sister and their guest. He was wearing a sweater and faded jeans, like a college student. Krillin had to shield his eyes. Juuhachigou looked normal in regular clothes, even gorgeously cute in that way of hers, but this was like that time Bulma had gotten Vegeta into jeans.

"Is this what we're doing now?" As strange as it was to see the androids in a normal apartment, there was something horrifyingly_ wrong_ about Juunanagou when he was missing that scarf. "Just taking in people on the run from the cops?"

**386. You Will Look For The Comfort Of My Golf Shirt**

"I know a girl like you probably wants a more exciting guy." And someone taller. With more, and _better _hair. "I'm pretty normal and boring. Why like someone so tame?"

She looked at him from the table she'd been resting her forehead on, in vain hope of Krillin seeing and moving on to another subject. At the least. If she rolled her eyes with such strength again over one of his usual attempts at self-pity, Juuhachigou might strain an eye. "What are you talking about? You're one of the most insane people I know. We met when I was trying to kill you and your friends. You picked me up out of pool of monster's spit. You risked the world rather than shut me down. You're absolutely crazy."

**387. It's A Blacked Out Blur, But I'm Pretty Sure It Ruled**

Bulma woke up headfirst in the keyboard of a computer. Within sight of a picture of her baby smiling up at her. This was not a strange occurrence, her new family or not. If Vegeta didn't drag her (sometimes literally), to bed, she would spend probably five nights out of the week like this. But this time…this time her head was pounding in a way that was pure hangover.

And when she was drunk and armed with a computer…nothing good could come of that. If not some ruined attempt at programming she would have to sort her way through, it was sending pictures she'd taken during that party that had rendered her in such a state and then posted online and sent to her friends. Considering she'd sent computers to all of them, in hopes of keeping up some type of communication, and all had e-mail, this could be something very unfortunate. It was a good thing she was her own boss, since her parents were in no shape to fire her.

Gradually, she was able to lift her head, and hear snoring. Vegeta's.

Wearing only his leotard and one boot. Adorable. Head thrown back as he dreamed and whispered of his love, his secret desire…of…eating _chicken popsicles_. Hopefully she'd gotten pictures of him like this. Because now she couldn't even hold a straight camera in this state. When she gradually craned her head down, this thirty-something-year-old, she saw she was wearing her old prom dress that she'd worn to a high school she hadn't attended, just wanting to pass that milestone as any normal seventeen/eighteen-year-old, and with Yamcha in a rented suit at her side. Awesome, though, that she still fit in it. Basically. Except for the boob area, so she still won, hell yeah.

Thankfully, the computer was already on. And her soon-to-be-deleted history told her what to search for.

…was that her Mother pinching Vegeta? She'd finally gotten that, in the Saiyan's drunken state.

And her and Yamcha laughing, crying, yelling, flirting, crying, in their old cycle, with Vegeta in some of the pictures looking at them disturbed rather than jealous. Especially when she'd talked Yamcha into some mascara that made his eyes pop.

Even Tien was there, laughing with Piccolo as they sipped girly appletinies, and Krillin sat there just about falling out of his seat at this all. They were all wearing obnoxious shirts, practically matching in their tackiness. Vegeta had also been wearing one, somehow, as the night continued.

And who was this, the dark-haired guy with creepy eyes? Standing there, looking out of sorts at the sight of them all. Another innocent bystander, hurt by them. One that was amused by Yamcha's mascara. Taking a beer with Tien, and then joined by an exasperated, then confused, then horrified blonde girl with the same pale eyes.

Children of the corn joining them at that bar.

But Yamcha and Krillin seemed to like them, if the next few pictures seemed to indicate, giving them booze even if they didn't look old enough to drink. Bulma closed the window, unable to look anymore, unable to even search her e-mail to see if she'd sent links to all her friends. She sat there, shivering bare-foot in this cold lab, knowing that this day would be as solemn as any monk during a time of meditation, knowing that the pool in the backyard would be unspeakable, knowing to disconnect the telephones.

It was an old story anyway, of broken strobe lights being used as weapons, getting kicked out of bars, ruining livers and peoples' lives as they would all dance without any self-consciousness, clothes lost and nudity covered with sparkles or edible body paint, running from the cops so they wouldn't get charged with indecent exposure, some if not all ending up at her house to vomit everywhere and curl up beneath her thoughtful mother's blankets she'd hand out like the Red Cross as they tried to follow her advice and not sleep on her backs at their man-made disaster came to a close.

* * *

Juuhachigou woke up in her bed, its frame missing, and her naked except for someone's boxer shorts and a handful of glitter.

She stared down at herself for a little while, thinking yes, this is reality, this is now my life.

For appearance of dignity, Juuhachigou crawled off the bed and looked for the rest of her clothes.

There had been no drinking in her future that evening. No drinking planned. No idea as well that a meeting between her and her brother and those ridiculous fighters in a bar would occur. No plans for a certain fighter to turn and look at her with what Juuhachigou swore had a _predatory-ness _when spotting her. The first time ever, Krillin had ever looked like that perhaps, unless he got drunk often and attempted to pick up women.

In which case…she'd underestimated him.

In time, the cyborg got up, and found a shirt, and later on, managed to open her door.

There were people in her apartment hallway. Lying there, unmoving. Not strangers.

She knew those scars, even if they were covered by runny mascara—was that Piccolo over there? Could he even drink?

These assholes. There had been a drinking contest, she remembered, and a keg stand that only her brother had agreed to. 'Chug, chug!' Oh, these bastard. Only sheer will kept her from kicking any of them in the face.

Krillin was…not here. Miraculously enough. Possibly left in a ditch. Not in her kitchen, or in the bathroom. Not in the living room, like her brother was, curled up on the couch, _also_ bearing signs of runny mascara.

But there _was_ a brand new laptop computer sitting there, still on, and with a new e-mail account loaded. It was like something for a horror movie. She pushed sweaty, glitter-ridden hair out of her eyes, and opened the only e-mail there, it's heading only a smilie face. The attachments were impossible not to also open.

It would have been decent blackmail, seeing them like this, if she wasn't gradually introduced into things. First in the background, then gradually coming closer and joining in alongside her brother. Taking shots like a pro, and then slowing sliding into Krillin. Laughing at his no doubt dumb jokes, him probably trying to dance with her, and then settling for her request to _make out_ while Vegeta pointed at them and gagged like a child.

From there, things continued downhill.

A park with streaking involved and oh, god, there had been some things that even Gero hadn't wanted them to know, and with the androids of course joining in somewhat, which explained somehow how she was wearing unfamiliar underwear. But then...where was the underwear _she'd started the night with?_ Karaoke, gods help them all as Krillin went up to serenade her in front of everyone. A glitter fight that had blinded her brother, and then her making out with Krillin against a pine while Vegeta pointed and gagged. A pool that unfortunately they hadn't all drowned in. Signs that the party was grinding to a halt as Bulma, with a doctorate at thirteen and currently helping run the largest firm in the world, bent over to blow chunks in the pool. But then she was back up like an Olympian gymnast getting the gold, as everyone cheered and Vegeta handed her another beer, and she and Krillin were in the corner of the picture, lying on a pool chair, immersed in each other's faces.

She eventually woke them all up with her dramatic scream, wordless in its panic and disgust.

* * *

Krillin woke up on his side, covered with a blanket, and shivering. Eventually, he came to understand that there was a pool nearby, and that he was wearing way too small underwear that hadn't been his or probably for _any_ guy, and a shirt that had started off earlier on Vegeta, and was sleeping on a bra that wasn't even_ Bulma's_.

Good morning world. I am so dehydrated, it hurts to swallow. And to blink.

The blanket at least hid his basically-nude-nudity, as he stumbled to find the hose and undress fully. He put the blanket gently to the side, hanging it off a rose bush, while he held the hose over his head to drink and to understand that he was alive. Those goosebumps did not sprout on the dead. Eventually, one of the dinosaurs became unspooked enough to go over and nudge him, and Krillin knew it was time to move on. He gathered the blanket, and the shirt, and the bra, and moved on.

There would be complaints about last night. He had no nose, but could taste the gunpowder in the air, from firecrackers or real rifles. Between this stuff, the general chaos of Capsule Corp and their experiments, the Eternal Dragon being summoned back here, the aliens living here, Bulma and the entire Briefs family were just terrible neighbors.

The short, now retired fighter found his way into a bathroom, analyzing the underwear that he laid next to the bra (they were matching he saw) and then reintroduced himself to the shower and therefore humanity. Soap and shampoo and conditioner that claimed to smell like cherry blossoms and almonds. No razor, but that was the least of his problem.

Krillin never felt less like a full grown man than when he stumbled out of the bathroom to go into the kitchen and ask Missus Briefs if she had any clothes he could possibly wear. While he was stubbly, bleary-eyed, and wearing only a blanket. This was practically how he'd been born, excepting the ability to talk and the need to shave. But with less crying, for once in his life.

Rebirth in the odor of pancakes and the mother of his friend giggling over him and saying, sure, dearie, just wait there. Vegeta was there, technically. As was Tien. Neither was able to focus their gaze, and the Saiyan was face-down in his waffles, for once not even eating. If his head hadn't felt like it would come off from the act, Krillin would have laughed. He drank water instead, and ate the burnt toast Bunny only made for hangovers.

Bulma stepped out, in this somewhat older dress and slippers, only to fall in the chair next to the father of her child. For once, there was no proclamation of never again, she was an adult now, damnit, and a classy one, fuck, where was that bucket, she needed to puke again, ah, it's in my hair.

"I think," she said, slowly, enunciated every syllable. "That I was trying to make Vegeta take me to some high school prom. I think we were finishing getting dressed for it when we passed out."

"What high school?"

"I don't know."

Again a child, Krillin held up the clothes he'd been found with. "Whose bra is this?"

"Dunno. Too small to be mine. Hah. Go me."

"And the underwear?"

"Again, too small. In a good way. But _this _was Vegeta's." Carefully, she took the shirt from Krillin's hands and slid it around her husband's shoulders.

Both their voices were calm and soft. "He didn't drown in the syrup, did he?"

She held a finger to his mouth, over a waffle. "No. He's still breathing."

"So, whose is this?" Unfortunately, or not, Krillin couldn't recall much of anything beyond the first Jaeger shot. It was a skill he'd honed over the years spent not touching alcohol except during these parties where a lack of memory was a blessing. Finding a girl's underwear was a brand new event in his life, unless it had come from Oolong. Please, Dende, let it not be from Oolong.

Bulma was eating toast, grimacing with each bite. "You got lucky? You want a clinic or a doctor's number, in case you notice something terrible down there?"

"For Dende's sake."

"No, really?"

"No. That stuff doesn't happen to me. I mean, girls sleeping with me. These must be someone's that I grabbed for some reason. Maybe they're Oolong's. Of course they are."

"Wait. Wait." Bulma held up her hands. "There was a skinny girl at the bar. Yeah. Blonde. A little mean."

"Really? Like, with us? Near me?"

"Yeah. Creepy eyes."

Krillin looked at her closely.

"And…hmm, what was it? Someone else with creepy eyes. A twin brunette sister?"

Krillin jumped from the chair, hands raised like Bulma's after she'd pulled herself upward and discovered another wind so their party could continue. Half-pleading the gods. "Juuhachigou!?"

"Ew. Move that blanket. Bad enough to see it when we go streaking."

"But was that her name!?"

"Maybe. I dunno. You were making out with her. That's all I know. I just want to sit here, and drink coffee, and recover."

"Where's everyone else?"

"I have no idea. You and Tien and Vegeta and me were the only ones to make it back."

"They could be anywhere then." A brief second was spared to be concerned for them.

"With…'Juuhachigou'?"

"…one of the androids." He explained, voice dropping.

She slammed a hand on the table, making everyone including herself cry out in pain. Only Vegeta's moan had been muffled by the waffles. "Damn you."

"She's nice. With nice taste. In both underwear, and men." Had it not been the utterly creepiest thing in the world, Krillin might have stroked the underwear. Juuhachigou's. Bless the world.

"You think she'll show up again?"

"No. Maybe. Pass the toast."

"We can't keep doing this, you know. We're getting almost too old for it. Some of us have kids. Goku didn't even attend this time, because he's dead and all…and Chi-Chi didn't because she's busy taking care of Goten. Wow. Now I feel like a shitty mother. But, I know I'm not. Trunks is perfect, and already learning the alphabet. So this can't continue. The circle of majestic drunkenness has to be broken."

"I know. It does. I want to find Juuhachigou again.

"I didn't really think she'd come back. But I know she's out there, and likes me. I just need to find her again. Maybe so that I can have someone waiting for me, when I come home drunk. Or to get drunk with, just the two of us. Or stay _sober _with."

"Yeah. That sounds more responsible. You want the address to that clinic now?"

**388. "You want someone who's sensitive to your needs, but still decisive enough for an occasional grope in the closet." **

He did the worst thing in the world: gave into his feeling.

It was a spastic, dumb thing of hormones and her lying there on his lap, trusting, and Krillin was the worst person in the world. According to his own shrieking consciousness coming back, and the alarm in pale eyes inches away from his own. Scrambling, both of them, to get away from each other.

"I thought—I thought."

Don't kill me. Oh, who am I kidding, please kill me.

"_You thought what_?"

Unbelievable, to think he'd pressed his mouth against those lips set in a furious line. Unfair how gorgeous she looked when homicidally enrage. Unmistakable, his own death would be, after Juuhachigou got done with him.

"I thought it would all right. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot-"

"It _was_ alright, until you decided to slobber on me."

**389. We Should Have Run, I Would Have Gone With You Anywhere**

It only took a brief blaring of sirens for Krillin's face to change from that glow of amazement and delight. Juuhachigou was briefly relieved, until the expression was changed to own that was far too solemn. Better to see him angry or upset at seeing the two androids again.

Her brother was giving her a look, one that said they would talk about the short fighter later, and that she would never live this down.

Krillin was grief and solemnity. "Don't worry. I'll wait for you in prison."

"Oh god. We didn't do anything. And shut up."

"Those sirens are coming closer, sis. Just so you know. I'm not admitting to anything, mind you, but…just saying."

Leaving of course Juuhachigou to defend herself in front of an increasingly saddened fighter and "We didn't do anything!"

**390. Take Me Home, I Don't Want To Be Alone Tonight**

Juuhachigou fled the home she shared with her brother once she realized what the yelling was about, what it was and what it meant, and who else was there. She ran, ran through the living room, not even closing the front door as she took off without a jacket, feeling as sick as when Cell had been chasing her. But more disgusted, in fact. She went to the only other person she knew well enough to show up at three in the morning, and expect someone to actually answer the door and let her in.

The cyborg nearly hugged him. His shocked, goobery face that was so platonic was a balm for her ragged soul. The lack of appropriate clothing, such as _pants_, was just another uncomfortable fact of her life Juuhachigou was forced to deal with. Her brother was apparently sleeping with someone, and she knew what Krillin looked like in his underwear.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry."

"I think I heard my brother having sex with someone."

"Oh. Oh god." It seemed to sear his eyes, from the way he turned his head, wincing. Even if the image was only in his imagination. Never before had she appreciated a shudder.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Who was he-"

She grabbed him by the shoulder, shaking him hard enough to possibly loosen some teeth. "I don't want to talk about it!"

"Was it even a person? Did you see anything?" What else would he be sleeping with—why would he even ask that—no, no, she didn't need to think about anything like that. Krillin looked ready to hug her, and that was when she knew they needed not to touch, and for him to put on pants. Yet still, she had been through worse this night alone.

"Shut up. And now, of course I didn't see anything. I didn't go into his room. I will never go into his room. _Never again_." Her words were speeding by, too fast.

And somehow, again, Krillin was there to help with a jaw-clenched sincerity. "You can stay here, as long as you need."

**391. Hot For Teacher**

As though their relationship couldn't take on another disturbing angle, now there were literally _laws_ prohibiting it. Juuhachigou understood that if there was fate, it was slapping her in the face and telling her something. Something she didn't want to hear, and maybe would not even follow when it came down to it.

A little too late to even attempt putting up those defenses again, she might have told whatever could consciously have made this decision. The hopelessness at the heart of her feelings for the awkward, stunted man. How stubborn could she be, anyway?

She watched Krillin joking around, looking ridiculous in that jacket with its patches on the elbows and the dumb fluorescent t-shirt underneath. Fate and sense telling her, not hers, never will be. No matter how hard she sat there, staring at him, and enjoying her once enemy's smile and look of surprised when he saw her with a pair of clenched fists hidden beneath her desk as she cursed their bad luck.

**392. I'm In A Building That Has Two Thousand Floors and When They All Fall Down I Think You Know It's You They're Fallin' For**

It was something they'd never told anyone else before, and something that they'd take to the grave. Roshi, Oolong and Turtle all took their explanation at face value, because how else could their home have been destroyed, if not through sparring and sending too many energy blasts into both the roof and into the sea to cause a tidal wave, and that's why there were so many holes in the floors and ceilings and walls. The winter often brought cold, out of control waves by itself after all.

The simple truth was that they'd broken the house during their first time together, unaware of how much damage they could both do. Then knowing, and not caring. And then rolling around on top of the damage, once they realized they could hurt it no more.

Krillin gathered up his clothes, and boards to patch up what he could. "We killed the house."

She found her bra. "Yes. Yes we did."

"…is it wrong that I'm a little proud of that fact?"

Juuhachigou had been hiding her own smile, while looking for a hammer and nails. "Yes. Yes it is."

He was smiling back, the same evil grin she realized was now wearing. "We're going to do this again, aren't we?"

"Yes." She snapped the elastic band on his underwear. "But next time, let's try not to ruin our own bedroom so much."

"You really do enjoy saying yes to me, don't you?"

"Not now. Oh, what the hell?"

**393. Now I Can't Get You Out of My Head**

This was a whole new track to run a rut into. Insanity, rank sheer insanity.

But still.

Three years spent training, and preparing himself except in the most important way right now, having foregone any attempts at dating what with None of his friends would support or understand this, at the least. She would have laughed at him, had she known her effect on him.

Oh, but hadn't she, and that was why she had kissed him and smiled and looked so very human, amused and relaxed. Juuhachigou had known what she was doing, and it had only been another game. Did she think of it, ever, as they headed for Goku's home? Think of him, if only to make her laugh?

Selfish, if only in his own head, but it's there, planted and too late to remove. Not a conscious or smart decision. The temple had come to him, and there was nothing he could do but surrender and have faith. And Krillin had always considering himself so reasonable too. The reason he'd even gone to them, afraid and sweating, with his logic the only weapon left available.

Plenty of facts that he could come up with, just sitting here on this island and watching TV in hopes of spotting any clue of where the androids were. Malicious, if not downright evil, a sense of humor and the ability to break Super Saiyans in half. Juuhachigou may very well end up destroying the entire human race, or at least take part in its downfall. Come on, at the very least, she had a boyfriend. A scary boyfriend that could literally kill him.

I know. I know.

They knew _each other,_ in their own confused ways. She had files and data on him, after all. On all their lives to better put the group of fighters in their crosshairs. The three of them all programmed to decimate the entire human population. Especially, probably, that creepy dark-haired one.

And: Juuhachigou also is in possession of a wonderful, if frightening, smile and laugh. She has pale blue eyes. A side part to her pin-straight hair, and so much awareness in that pale face. No machine, not her, her never _it, _this strange woman. Knowing whatever went through other's heads, and rejecting their own demands of her, and would she be appalled at his curiosity of what she might be like if she were not an android? Would she still have smiled at him with such smugness, and bent with easy grace to kiss his cheek?

There is reason, sanity and his friends and Trunks' warnings and the Earth itself and Krillin's morality and fear, but then there is _her_.

**394. Here's To the Mayhem Trailing Behind Us**

It couldn't be blamed on sparring or anything like that. This had them simply been them acting like childish idiots, happy to have a spare moment, and Krillin trying to get her mind off Marron being watched by Chi-Chi for a play-date with Goten. She'd always been a little uneasy with Goku's wife, and slightly guilty. Not just for the murder attempts against her husband, but because in a particularly vindictive moment, Juuhachigou had flushed Chi-Chi's birth control pills after not being able to find Goku in that house. She never _not_ wondered if somehow Goten's existence had been caused by her-as Bulma and Vegeta were responsible for Marron being conceived. The blue-haired woman for giving Krillin that remote and further damning them together, and for Vegeta's presence driving them to drink during that Capsule Corp party and to seek a private place away from his taunting.

For the hundredth time, he'd tried tickling her, and it just about worked to relieve her stress as he found that worst spot on her back to make her squirm and burst into laughter that she hated coming from her.

It was giggles, and Juuhachigou had prided herself on being the type of person to never do that.

Then she was dodging Krillin as he chased her around the living room. Then up the stairs and through their room and then around the island as she jumped out of the window.

Using his old master as a shield was done without a second thought, and what was finally what ended the entire moment as Krillin stopped to make sure nothing was broken. On Roshi anyway, since the house was a disorderly mess from the force of their running through it.

The turtle hermit was probably glaring at them, as Krillin grinned at her in a way that showed they were not done with their chase at all.

"Maybe you and Juuhachigou should go on vacation? Or find your own place?"

**395. If I Seem to Act Unkind, It's Only Me Not My Mind That Is Confusing Things**

People would crowd around when they would go in public. And in relative privacy, given that Juuhachigou avoided being completely alone with Krillin, his friends and her sibling would sit there and watch like spectators at a sport's match. Sometimes, they would even take sides and make bets in the argument that would sudden combust between them.

Krillin always trying to position himself as the reasonable one, and somehow, perhaps he had become so, because she definitely couldn't keep rational as she would find herself yes, alone with him and with him…_looking_ at her. For someone that had always considered themselves as rational, Juuhachigou could never fully articulate her unsettled feelings of having him at her side, behind rants that consisted of the words 'creepy' and 'no, you were following me' and 'don't act condescending; you're the stalker here.'

Not two minutes would go by before one of them was finally speaking, and then there would be eyes pointed in their direction and witnesses, for both their sakes.

**396. I Am Not Good Boyfriend Material**

The android had thought, _okay, so she has a crush_. _But I can deal with that. _

Until he was dragged on what could only in be a date (that he realized in retrospect), complete with a romantic date that had candlelight and good wine, the nicer way she'd dressed up, the way she'd looked at Juuhachigou. Leaning forward. "Thanks for tonight."

"You're the one that dragged me out," he'd muttered. Then saw the dark eyes moving downward. What he'd thought was sadness, but (again, in retrospect) might have just been a move she'd learned from her master, and maybe had just been checking him out. He had been forced into a lower cut shirt than what he normally wore. Because it had been hard to deny that yeah, if we're going out, he'd need to dress nicer, and hard to not accept the nice clothes that Krillin had then handed her.

"It wasn't bad, though, for all that."

A smile. Looking downright adorable in that stupid dress with stockings that he hadn't even known the fighter owned. Flat heels that really added no height to her short frame. "Thank you for coming."

Breathless, blinking, leaning in. He'd been distracted by the pink lip gloss. And the mouth it had been applied to. The delight not hidden in those eyes.

"Your Master probably wouldn't want me making time with you out here."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that at all. She probably would cheer us on."

It was simple to lift his arm up, and rest his palm against the wall, effectively trapping Krillin. "You know. That waiter was looking down the front of your dress."

He demonstrated while the short girl squirmed. It was so easy to get under her skin. Probably as easy as getting under that dress, if he wanted. "He was not!"

"Yes he was. It's hard to blame him. Are you even wearing a bra?"

"It's the strapless kind. Juuhachigou, stop staring."

**397. I've Met You Once and Fallen For Your Notions. I Don't Know Why.**

It must have been that oddly shaped potato she'd seen that brought_ him_ to the forefront of her mind. All it needed was six dots on its skin to remind complete the picture. And a dumb mystified expression. Or one of determination as he tried to talk to her twin brother, something she could have told him herself was a doomed effort.

So maybe the toy inside the child's meal they'd gotten for Juurokugou reminded her of him, since he was the size of a child after all. That wasn't so bad. He was such an absurd figure after all. Even amongst that group. Weak, if at least smart enough to not start a fight with them. Cringing and pulling back from her, sweating, and not quite disgusted as she once again gained the upper hand over another pathetic attempt at controlling her and her twin.

When she thought of him, it was that confused expression, his anger morphing to one of surprise, maybe terror. Not a new emotion she'd seen when someone faced her and her brother. But it had always come after they'd beaten the human. None of them had laid a hand on the short fighter. It had been his braggart and foolish friends that had gotten beaten into the dirt. _He_ had tried to reason with them, as though they could bother to care.

Krillin, who if he saw them now…would probably laugh rather than start a fight with them as her brother bought pounds of potato chips with a credit card easily slipped out of a wallet. He was not cruel, if Gero's information was correct. The most heinous thing he'd ever done was attempt to stab Vegeta as the Saiyan tried to leave after having harmed so many. The one to make jokes.

Wherever he was now, was he helping plot their demise? Somewhere with the others, and arguing on how to destroy them. Jaw squired and face screwed up with effort. He was so easy to read, and between that and his strength…no wonder the others made fun of him. Even Krillin would crack self-depreciating jokes about himself. Now he would be fine with driving and being seen in this van. Had he told them what she had done to him? The man who always bemoaned his bachelorhood. Had they laughed and teased him over her?

When they saw each other again, should she mock him for that? Or would he say something? Ask why?

Because…it was funny. You of all people should appreciate that.

Was she looking forward to that confrontation? Black eyes and bright grin that he wouldn't share with her. If she met him again, alone, would he actually attempt fighting her? Or beg her to stop and consider what she was doing, and if she might want to make another path that wouldn't result in Goku's death. What would force him to finally attack her?

Or would he just spent the next fight on the sidelines again?

Do you hate me yet?

At least he wasn't here to see her in that ridiculous cowgirl getup.

**398. Following is Different; I Was Spying**

For a brief moment, Juuhachigou could see outside her own body, and take in the scene as objectively as possible: her in the driver's seat, leaning over the passenger seat to crank down the window and trying to convince a short figure into her van. It was a stinging, unsettled feeling of shame, and she hated that she only felt such things around Krillin of all people.

…Where was he even going? All covered up with that jacket from the rain, not flying and looking at helpless as anyone else on this street. It wasn't as thought Krillin had a job to rush from at this late hour, not like he lived here, on this block full of apartment buildings and single bars, or anything—as far as she knew. And Juuhachigou knew quite a bit about his life. Too much.

Why not wave around candy to lure him inside?

No, no, she demanded if only to herself a strict call to sanity that perhaps there was a good reason Krillin was so wary.

And that grabbing and dragging him in would not help either of them.

Juuhachigou would have to appeal to his basic humanity that had led them both down the start of this road. To look him straight in the dark eyes with a soft voice summoned with an iron will that kept her face solemn. "Krillin. I'm not going to hurt you."

**399. All The Real Ones That I Destroyed **

Neither he nor Juunanagou blinked as the man went tumbling down the stairs. The wood muffled his cries, and soaked up some of the blood from that headwound on his forehead. A scramble of limbs and pleading.

He would be the third one this week.

Krillin could only wince at the stranger's state of undress. At least this one had his pants on. Though not his shirt, allowing the marks she'd left to seen by anyone. His wide dark eyes saw nothing ahead of him, only what was behind, what he was fleeing from.

Sometimes, Krillin was almost glad that they weren't lovers. A matter how sweaty his palms grew as she'd stumble down the stairs to collapse at the breakfast table, the noon sun putting gold in her hair.

Juunanagou didn't even bother trying to offer this one cereal, turning his attention back to his own bowl. There would have been no attempts at comforting someone so panicked. If only to a mild degree. Sometimes though, the frightened men would wander in and sit there, maybe attempting to form words and ask questions, want answers, would beg the others to call the cops, the national guard, please, oh god her smile why did she smile like that.

While in return Krillin and Juunanagou would shrug. "The black widow strikes again."

"Just be glad we didn't have to call an ambulance." The short fighter would do his best to keep the bitterness out of his voice, and mostly succeed.

That in particular would always irk Juuhachigou, to see her attempted suitors having to be carted away. "I barely touched him." As though not understanding that breaking ribs was something you typically weren't supposed to do to your date. Even Krillin got that.

He understood a lot of things, actually. Terrible things. Knowledge that had only grown as he became friends with the two scary androids that weren't anything like Trunks had described. Except...

Yes, there was one scant reminder that yes, these were the androids that Trunks had warned them of: Juuhachigou's love life.

…and she had a certain Type.

One that she shared with her brother, if his little comments to the disbelieving, traumatized gentlemen were any indication. A topic that also had to be repressed and ignored, as Krillin focused on cleaning the dishes, sweeping, running outside to have a panic attack in peace without anyone poking him and asking what exactly was wrong with him.

And Juuhachigou would never seem to acknowledge the certain build of the men she would bring into this place, as blind to their resemblances as she was to their strength and endurance and the third person that practically lived her and mooned over her with a passion thus far unnoticed. For better or worse.

There was about a thirty percent chance that Juuhachigou would stomp down here, to vent. As Krillin tried not to make eye contact and let everything spill out. So many things he wanted to say, if only simple questions like 'what did you do to that man who was weeping uncontrollably for an hour and a half?' and worse, horrible things along the lines of, 'why not me?'

But no, no, the wise thing was to sit here calmly and grow numb to it all. Until he would no longer feel so helpless and sick and stop wanting her and loving her and just hope that she never found out about the extent of his feelings. Because then she would treat him as she did those would-be-suitors, and their appearances would match further, as Juuhachigou beat him within an inch of his life.

**400. When You're With Me, You Won't be So Lonely**

Goku hadn't been able to find Juuhachigou, but he was able to find Bulma, and from there, found Krillin on that island. Thankfully, no one spotted him besides the three waiting for the moment to run. It was to the tall man's credit that he took both androids out of Cell's reach, while Future Trunks fought Cell.

It had been Mister Popo's idea to hide Juuhachigou in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

It had been _Goku's_ idea for Krillin to go in with her. 'Just for a few months. Then me and Gohan will go on.'

Krillin could fill in the rest: So long as Cell can't get her, I think he can be handled. If for some reason Trunks lets him get away…

Just for a few months. With an android that had tried to kill everyone just a few days ago, and was looking at him, afraid, confused. With an android that was exquisitely pretty, alive and basically human, and that he was pretty sure he'd fallen in love with so easily. Trapped in a place without exit in who knew what conditions, and with a woman he had crazed feelings for that couldn't be expressed for so many reasons, such as her having no interest in him, and being strong enough to break his neck like a walnut. Oh, just a few months.

"Here. Take these, they're some training outfits from Bulma."

It was so strange to see Goku encouraging the android to hide and protect herself. Oh, and here's some new clothes. She took the capsule, bemused, lost. Had gone from being the strongest fighter, to hiding on an island, to being told to grab the man she'd been created to kill's sleeve, and hang on tight.

Krillin took his numbly, remembering the last time he'd worn such a thing. Had been blown up wearing a similar outfit to this, he bet.

A skin-tight outfit.

A new wave of horror tightened his throat. "Goku, are you sure about this?"

A hand on his shoulder, "Go in now, Krillin, the faster you go in, the sooner me and Gohan can."

And whom else could she enter with? Gohan? Goku? For once, words had been emptied from Krillin's head. It was better for two people to use it, to train together, and oh, it was just a few months.

* * *

"So."

"So?"

Already, she was annoyed with him.

How long until she pulled his strange doomed crush from him? Until she out-right began to despite him as she discovered why he'd crushed that remote. Krillin had never even told Bulma of his crush on her, so many years back and during bouts of singleness when she and Yamcha faught—and the blue-haired woman had never been strong enough to actually murder him. Juuhachigou, just standing there with feet of distance between them, arms crossed and eyes missing nothing.

The gaps in the conversation were as large as the white space behind them, a thing they'd seen together, silently. He'd nearly taken her hand; that nothingness was one of the scariest things he'd seen. So easy to get lost and never return, slowly die of thirst and exhaustion as one might in a desert or trapped on a tiny island without hope of rescue. "I bet Juurokugou will be taken to Bulma's. To Capsule Corp. They'll fix him up."

Again, more silence.

It begged to be filled with blather.

Here he was with a unsteady ally, with those unsettling eyes and refusal to say anything until he had. Even as they'd both taken inventory of their supplies and walked all around the oasis that was their living quarters for the new few months. The twin beams of the hourglasses filled with eerie green sand. All the buildings tipped with gold, except for where the beds (two of them, thank Popo and Kami, and they were even covered by curtains), and the bathroom was located.

A real chance to think about what it all meant, while you stayed here. No cable, just quiet meditations on what Juuhachigou would look like in that Saiyan armor.

And of course, other safer things like what were the others doing? Were they alright? Had Cell gotten away, or had Future Trunks defeated him?

"You want the left or right bed?"

"I don't care." She threw the capsule, without holding the trigger on top, onto the left bed. The bed away from him. And then she collapsed on it. The way she sat only made her look younger, a woman worried about something. Gloved hands on her face. Smaller.

"Juuhachigou." Anything he said would be found lacking; he'd never been good with talking to women. A fact that was no bouncing in his manic, panicked head.

"What do you want now?"

"We won't have to stay here long. I bet Trunks beats Cell in an hour."

Her voice was listless. No doubt reflecting on the recent changes of her life such as…the loss of Juunanagou. If his own significant other had been killed, Krillin guessed he wouldn't be in the mood to chat. Obviously. Kami, he was a_ moron_. Why did he have to say things like that, and act this way around her of all people, this woman he'd chosen over everything and everything. How could he have done that and what right did he have to feel so blessed and broken over her glances to his face?

Why did she have to make Krillin's entire body ache when she bit her lip. "I don't know who that is."

"Who?"

"Trunks. Or for that matter, Cell. Gero never mentioned that thing." She spat the last word out. No ki to sense, but if it had been there, it would have spiked.

"Trunks is the purple-haired guy. He's a half-Saiyan." Oh well, might as well tell her all about Trunks. It might get her talking, and it wasn't like everything wasn't completely different already. "He's from the future."

At her astonished look, Krillin nearly laughed. "Yeah, I know right. But he is. He had a time machine, from his mom, Bulma."

"The CEO of Capsule Corp?"

"Yep. Her and Vegeta…"

"Wow."

"Yeah, we were all shocked." It was _nice_ to speak to her, he realized, unsettled. No real introduction or detailed explanation was necessary. Juuhachigou knew everyone's names and details about their personal lives. She was new to_ them_, but already knew so much.

Nothing like well, _Maron_, who'd never fully seemed to understand his job as one of Earth's protectors or know the names of his friends…besides Yamcha's.

She is not Maron. No way. Everything about her is different and new and strange. Even the way I feel about her isn't anyhting like how I felt for Maron.

Juuhachigou would have killed him right there if she knew he was comparing her to his ex. And finding her, this strange person Krillin had prepared for three years to meet and still found overwhelming, all the more...everything.

"But, so, in the future…um. I don't know how to say this. But you and Juunanagou killed just about everyone."

She looked up, biting her lip again in this thoughtless brief gesture. That gaze that nearly had him falling over, and stupidly blushing. The bluest, intensest thing in this place. "In some future? And so this kid knew all about us. Came to warn you about us."

He couldn't read her expression beyond the alarm in_ those eyes_. "Right. And told us exactly where these two androids were supposed to show up. Only it turned out to be Gero and that big android. Oh, and he told us about Goku getting this heart virus, and gave us the medicine for that. But he was fighting that big android, and had the virus get him right then. So he was down, already. But then Vegeta showed up out of nowhere, just waiting for the right moment to show off being a Super Saiyan."

"That sounds like him."

"Uh-huh. And _he_ was able to being that Android Nineteen. But Gero got away, and made it to his lab to wake you and Juunanagou up."

"No wonder you attacked us so quickly."

"Sorry about that."

"It's understandable, I suppose." Her hands were on the cover of the bed now, which seemed to be a good sign.

Maybe she needed a moment to cry. He was such an idiot. She'd lost her boyfriend just hours before. Of course she was upset. "I wonder if there are any razors in the bathroom."

"You need to shave?"

"Depends how long we're in here, you know. And." Krillin sighed. "I was thinking you might need to be alone. To think things through. You just lost Juunanagou. That's gotta hurt."

Juuhachigou nearly bared fangs. Even that had Krillin flushed and very conscious of the space between them. Not enough. Too much. "What makes you say that? I thought we were just some murderous machines to you guys?"

"Of course not. Not anymore. We spent three years training for you two, you know. It was sort of overwhelming to finally meet you. And no matter who you are, it has to be horrible to lose your partner."

"I never really thought of him entirely like a partner. Like an equal. He's stronger than me, but…" Juuhachigou sighed herself. "He was always my little brother, in some way, no matter what Gero did."

"'Little brother?'"

"He's my twin. Slightly younger." Those blue eyes were annoyed. "What else did you mean by 'partner'?"

He waved his hand around. "Um. Never mind. I get it now."

Going for the door was unfortunately not an option. No matter how she glared. "You thought we were _dating_?"

"I—not exactly that word." Krillin set his gaze upward.

"That's disgusting."

"I know. I know that now."

"Go look for a razor, Krillin." It was wonderful to hear his name on her lips, even as she ordered him away. So she could mourn her twin brother in peace. Still, he gave her an obedient confusing salute and headed for a distant part of this small oasis.

* * *

After some debate, they decided to wait another hour before trying the door. Already, they must have been in here for a while. Long enough for Krillin to have gone in numerous circles, avoiding Juuhachigou. Pacing and repeating 'twin brother' over and over and dealing with how much relief and sadness those two words brought. She had lost a _brother_ and could be considered single, Kami, and, and Krillin had to go around the room again.

He couldn't stand the thought of seeing her upset, even as a part of him rejoiced in her having such feelings. Her humanity that proved he'd made the right decision.

Yet, a single tear sliding down that perfect face would undue him.

Not that Juuhachigou looked ready to sob on his shoulder anytime soon. Or ever. She was as strong as ever. Fierce even. Angrier than even fighting Vegeta, and defensive.

And scared. Safe and afraid and waiting.

"Surely we won't be here for a few months."

There was only blankness before them, this hell of an eternity presented in a physical way. It was so easy to look out onto it, and mutter words to pretend this was normal. "No way. Someone will take care of Cell."

Or someone, probably Vegeta, will try to come in here and get Juuhachigou.

"Do you want to train?"

"I guess it won't hurt. Me." Glancing at him, looking like he was something stuck to her shoe.

Not exactly a new look for Krillin to deal with. It wasn't so hard to grin back at her and laugh it off. Not hard at all to smile at her. "I can maybe take a punch or two. So long as you go easy on me."

Eyes still so angry. Could she even weep, after what Gero had done to her? Even over losing her brother? "I'm not even sure if I can improve my strength or speed."

"You can learn new techniques, though."

"Oh. What are you planning on teaching me, Krillin?"

"I'm not sure what you know about me."

"You like messing around with ki." A pause. "And moping. Usually about women."

"Gero was very thorough, wasn't he?" A dumb, dumb thing to say, though at least Juuhachigou only shrugged rather than break a limb. Was she really all that violent after all? He just had to learn from Vegeta's mistake, and not call her a can opener or anything like that. Being polite wouldn't be so hard. Right. Just keep his hands to himself, and watch his words, and Krillin might survive this latest disaster.

Juuhachigou was just like the other woman in his life: completely uninterested in him as a romantic partner and therefore he should just treat her like those other girls. Just quietly crush and admire and never express his affections.

…Because if he did, she might murder him. That was new.

"To some extent."

"Well, I can teach you about some moves with ki."

"But when it comes to being depressed about women, I'm on my own?"

A sense of humor that didn't involve the threat of physical violence? Krillin grinned, pulling at his ear. "Yeah, alright. I got it. I'm going to change into that Saiyan outfit, just to be careful."

"Have fun with looking like Vegeta."

It felt so strange to talk to her. Without a hugely consuming fear of her breaking his neck at any second. Would she really murder him, considering Goku was waiting right outside the doors? Possibly not. Krillin had spent three years preparing for scary faceless androids, and had to readjust on those snowy mountains his own interior picture of the monsters. And now he once again had to change his own mental view of the androids. Juuhachigou, Number Eighteen, who didn't want to kill him right now it seemed, and could be funny.

Made it a little easier to deal with the fact that he might be in love with her.

…which wasn't necessarily a good thing.

He scooped up the capsule, heading for the bathroom that thankfully had a door. "Not enough hair. And it'll be like Halloween. Do you want to change too?"

"I don't think it's necessary."

"Hm, you'll regret that," he warned with a smile as he closed the door behind him.

"What, are you going to aim for my clothes?" Juuhachigou yelled. Disgusted. As though Krillin ever would have done such a thing and hadn't already known exactly how little he was to her.

His dumb mouth. "No! But still."

"I'd prefer not to dress like that ape, thank you."

"I guess we'll both go easy." Krillin still remember how to tug at the armor at the right angles to pull it on. The mirror in there showed a short man, dressed like Vegeta, but definitely minus that spiky hair. Similar to that outfit he'd worn on Namek, but blue and without the shoulder and thigh guards. And it didn't stop at his knees. He could remember that younger man, scared at the time on that alien planet, wanting to leave, wanting to save his friends enough to stay, smaller than this man now but just as confused.

Especially about women. That crack he hadn't much appreciated being reminded of. Not that he'd considered himself smooth before she'd said that, but still. She knew all about his friends, but she also knew about him whining about getting a girlfriend. Hours of footage of him complaining and moping about being single and—did she know about Maron, about the breakup and his depression that had followed. Did she know about, oh, Kami, what did she know about his personal life and private habits that no one else should ever know about?

Surely knowing even a little bit about things like that would put up some guards between them. And maybe that was for the best.

His little passing thought of playing the forever-joker, and stepping out with a pose, some arrogant line that Vegeta would have said, was given into. Anything but worrying about what she might know what he did to himself when alone. "Prepare yourself, human, because your doom has finally arrived."

Juuhachigou didn't seem to find it very funny.

Nor did she appreciate his attempts at conversation.

Or his talents on the battlefield, appalled by his stance and laughing while she easily kicked him to his knees and would wait bored, while he struggled to stand again. Again and again, Juuhachigou only becoming frustrated, then seperating herself further from him, almost acting like he had used that remote. While he tried not to appreciate the angle that he was forced to look at her from. Krillin was barely spared a look before she decided she'd had enough and wanted to return to the one area that wasn't a white oblivion.

Though at least him falling over at that first step onto this white hell had made her laugh.

She didn't seem to care or even look at him too long as Krillin struggled to stand, blathering on about the shifting temperatures here and joking about whether or not his outfit was getting ruined. Even his talent at cooking, offering to make something, hardly made her blink or focus on the short man. Those eyes were far away as he boiled rice and set out the table.

Lifeless and hardly blinking, she seemed less like that laughing scary figure that had left Kame Island to help meet Piccolo's challenge. Now she might have been whatever Gero had wanted, had created her for with this silence. She hardly seemed to breathe, and that gaze was more painful than when he slammed a knife onto his thumb when attempting to debone a chicken. Krillin could feel it sometimes sliding between his shoulder blades, while trying not to think about anything more than how much salt to add to the rice. Especially not let his mind wander and worry about what he looked like in these too tight clothes, bruised and aching and tasting blood still from a blow to the mouth. Easier to watch the water boiling than see any leftover disgust over him being unable to keep up with her.

That sneer she'd had, 'you're even weaker than that boy was.'

It was a disorienting vision, of Juuhachigou sitting at a table and looking at him. Angry? Was she back, fully here and wanting to talk? Did she want to talk to him, was she dissapointed she was stuck with him for conversation, what could they even discuss, what did Juuhachigou want to discuss. With him. "You keep trying to make this normal, and that's not going to happen."

"Huh?"

"I'm not even human. You should know that, considering you nearly shut me down with a remote controller."

"I don't know." Carefully, he placed the heavy plates down. "You seem human." Enough.

"You don't know a single thing about me."

"I know you're not as bad as you pretend to be. You can be caring. Albeit deep down. And you have a sense of humor. You can feel fear, and confusion." Krillin shrugged, knowing he was smiling, knowing..."I don't see what else there is to being human."

She was unimpressed, still angry. But here. "A name. There is that."

"Ah." Juuhachigou had him there. "But you do have one. Even if it is a number. I guess there's no rule that it can't also be a name."

"Gero is not my parent."

There was practically ice forming on the food. Krillin could feel his bruises and split lip and exhaustion and used adrenaline that made him feel sick. All of it coming back looking at her blank perfect face. "What would you like to be called then?"

"What?"

"Your name. There's nothing wrong with naming yourself. And even if you don't have parents, you're still human."

"It doesn't matter much. Not anymore." Voice soft was crushed velvet and he nearly leaned in to hear every dip and rise of it. "You would have been better off using the remote."

"Of course I wouldn't have been. Stop…its okay. So what if you have some metal parts and a number? That doesn't really have to change_ you_."

"Of course it changed me." Her irises were a perfect unchanging blue without any lines radiating from the pupil. These perfect too. Inhuman. Too close. "You have no idea what you're even talking about, little man."

I know I don't care about anything wrong with you.

I know that I couldn't hurt you. And I know that we're sitting here hoping the world doesn't end outside and we're...exchanging personal information, discussing families and life situations?—Over a meal? Maybe a little like a date?

Then he wanted to jam his chopsticks into his eyes. No, please. Not her. Not here.

What's your favorite color? I guess I know that you have a brother. You two get along alright? Do you miss Juurokugou? Why are you holding that knife that way? Do you remember kissing me? You realize, I would never have used that remote on you, right?

"I know I want to know more about you."

She almost flinched. Surprised and staring and definitely here, just feet away. Trying to figure him out. "I could kill you easily. Or let you suffer for hours. How long do you think you'll be here?"

Ducking his head seemed the safest thing, before Juuhachigou read too much. Figure out the answer to the question she'd asked as he confronted her with that remote. "It's okay. I'm not afraid of you."

Krillin could taste too much salt in the rice and wondered why she hadn't touched her food yet. At least he hadn't undercooked the chicken. When the mysterious young man had shown up with that promise of their destruction in three years' time, Krillin could never have foreseen a brief confrontation over a meal that left them both confused.

Dear diary: today, I technically had a dinner with an attractive young woman.

Also, she is a cyborg programmed to kill me and my best friends.

On the other hand, I don't think she entirely hates me and probably won't carry out her threats to torture me.

And now we will have who knows how much time together. Stuck together in this place.

"I suppose if we're stuck here, we should train. Maybe I should put on that dumb armor. Just in case."

Trapped in here with a woman he was infatuated, in love with, and already had nearly expressed those feelings and there would be no escape for too long, in thise white place full of echoes.


	17. 401 thru 425

Chapter Seventeen, in which Krillin finally bring 18 up on sexual harassment charges, alternative timelines are explored in ways that surprisingly haven't been used before, in media res is used, and Kame House's basement is shown.

Next Chapter, where 17 and Krillin hang out, 18 contemplates robbing Krillin, names are discussed, a sequel to 199 is finally posted, and Krillin is used as bait by the others to lure 18 to the Good Guys through use of seduction.

* * *

I look across the table and think  
(fiery with love)  
Ask me, go on, ask me  
to do something impossible,  
something freakishly useless,  
something unimaginable and inimitable

Like making a finger break into blossom  
or walking for half an hour in twenty minutes  
or remembering tomorrow.

I will you to ask it.  
But all you say is  
Will you give me a cigarette?  
And I smile and,  
returning to the marvelous world  
of possibility,  
I give you one  
with a hand that trembles  
with a human trembling.  
_  
Norman MacCaig-_** Incident**

"Okay, well, um, I don't know what else to talk about. You know, I mean, it's been kinda lonely here without Android Eighteen, 'cause you know she is my sophisticated blowup doll."

- Sonny Strait, talking as Krillin

* * *

**401. I Should Have Kissed You By The Water**

Juuhachigou knew she owed him nothing.

Yet she would admit in certain moments, as when her brother actually would talk about what had happened to him, that the situation _could_ have gone worse.

Even as she looked at Juunanagou with disgust, for telling her, for not telling her, for reminding her. As she hated the fighters that had failed, hated that short weakling, _hating_ and left with a rage that couldn't be displayed in a fit of destruction and had to learn to control it until it passed, something that came slower to her than it had her twin. Hating herself and these rooms she'd pace in, waiting for something to change, _wanting_.

The cyborg was left, in certain moments, wondering what would have happened if she hadn't given him a simple peck to his cheek.

And wondering if she should be glad of that decision or not.

**402. "You'll have plenty of friends here, so you won't even need a girl."**

Gohan, despite his own problems at home with losing a father and gaining a new sibling, still had time to check in on his friend. Krillin had to appreciate that, no matter how low he felt, how depressed. A sunny smile to lighten the gloom.

The kid just wasn't old enough to understand.

The others_ were_, but could only help so much. Some of them simply couldn't understand his angst, this barrier that separated them from properly empathizing. Like with Piccolo and Tien, who could only nod mystified over his words and arguments with himself said aloud in their presence, and offer the advice to stop thinking about her, and whether or not he wanted to spar.

Yamcha though, would take him to single bars and offer him numbers and tried to set him up with various women such as Launch, which led to them both running together through the streets of West City for their lives.

Bulma had tried her hand as well at cheering Krillin up, offering advice on flattering women that turned from complimenting haircuts to circuits after finding out about his crush; any visits to Capsule Corp always leading to him babysitting either Trunks or Vegeta or both.

Chi-Chi kicked him, and told him to pull his head out of 'you-know-where,' and just move on with his life and stop pouting over some girl, 'wait, what did you say her name was anyway, you did catch her name, right?'

None of them were any help. But another day would slip away, and he could almost forget the certain smugness in blue eyes. Pale hair. Black and white clothing.

Just as he'd almost forgotten cloudy grey eyes and bright blue hair and wide smiles that had been for everyone.

In more time, Krillin was fairly sure he could move on.

**403. You're In Harm's Way; I'm Right Behind**

It was after they'd finally returned home and put Marron to sleep in their own bed, after he'd thought she'd fallen asleep herself, and he'd gone slipped outside the window for some fresh air, that Juuhachigou could finally reveal some of the pent up emotions she'd had from losing her family.

"If you ever do anything like that again, I'll kill you myself. I can't." She shuddered against him. Her face finding the hollow between his shoulder and neck. Against his skin, her nose was cold. "I can't stand to lose you Krillin."

How many times had they lost each other, almost lost each other?

Had she recalled Cell, when they faced Buu? Remembered the helplessness as he did, her anger and his later tears? The fear that he might not come back, as Krillin had been so sure he would never see her again after she'd been engulfed?

Krillin held his wife, and recalled those old nightmares and of her slipping away from him, of her death, and thought, Juuhachigou, to prevent that, I would have force-fed Cell poison to get him to spit you up. And I would throw myself before Buu a million times if it meant you and Marron got to survive even another ten seconds.

**404. "Because Eighteen's neat! But Seventeen and Eighteen Are Like a Matching Set!"**

In this dusty ruined landscape of his own creation, Cell doubled up, clutching his mouth, eyes bloodshot.

Gohan, watching with a smirk, was the only calm one. Even as a fountain of saliva began to pour from Cell's mouth. Even when an obscured figure, small, with a disgustingly wet _splat f_rom the enraged, losing android's maw.

Krillin hadn't been prepared for anything that had happened today, but particularly not this. Not seeing that person, of all people, again, and in such a way. Undignified, for once usual cold eyes unblinkingly staring Krillin down, in a puddle, a small unconscious figure lay there helpless.

If Juuhachigou had been spat up, it wouldn't have been such a huge surprise as this.

Cell stood there, eyes mad, insane.

It had been some time, not since first seeing the androids, had Krillin been so aware of their supposed-age. He looked a boy, sleeping from a long day.

After the initial confusion, of watching Cell reach for the android, Krillin decided he wasn't sure what to feel. This was either good, or bad, and he felt little empathy for that stranger down there. That creepy stranger. That was probably, according to his luck and Yamcha comments, probably involved with the woman he himself loved.

Strange, to feel jealous of the android lying in a pool of spit, but there it was.

Yet, Krillin had to step forward, and at least ask if they should stop Cell from grabbing him around the skull like that. For Juuhachigou really, even if unfairly, she was still inside Cell. Still in there. Could Gohan hit him again like that, and knock the second cyborg out? Would it be _weird_ to ask him to do that? Yeah, it would be weird.

Either way, she would want Juunanagou rescued.

She must care for that guy right there. Would have wanted him protected and saved, and it's for her that Krillin worried even the slightest bit about the android. This android that looked like a young man and had distant eyes, thin and handsome, and had led the other androids to hurting others, whom was so loved by Juuhachigou.

If you loved someone, shouldn't you care for those they cared about? Love whom they loved? Protect and cherish, just as he would his friends' family and

He just hoped he wouldn't have to be the one to pick the guy up and carry him.

**405. God Knows I Don't Hate You, But One Day I Must Learn How To**

When the short fighter pried open his eyes, he needed a few moments to adjust to what he was seeing. His mind automatically tended to fill out the details of his room, the posters and pictures, and he needed a second to understand he was not seeing pale yellow walls and pinup of cars and girls. Things, oh, Kami, came rushing back, what this warmth and unfamiliar clothes slung over him meant, of taking a new shortcut and bottles and surly looks, and no this wasn't even the living room that he sometimes would fall asleep in, or the beach or Capsule Corp. If only it had been any of those places.

Even passing out in a back alley would have been better.

His head hit the steel of the floor with a small echoing thud.

Thankfully, the person next to him, currently using his stomach as a pillow didn't awaken.

The smallest miracle left for Krillin, who could only lay there and contemplate his life and the decisions he'd made. So many bad ones over the years, like breaking up with Maron and never marrying, because that would have been a nice thing to have done before dying. At least the old wish of having actually been with a woman could be crossed off, Kami help him. No, no there wasn't any guardian of Earth anymore; there was only Piccolo left, who'd never liked him much.

The newest item on his wish list, one that should never have been crossed off, even partially, was actually getting Juuhachigou to like him, and for her not to be a homicidal maniac. Did she even like him? Or had that been the beer she'd been drinking, sinking further and further into her seat as she badmouthed Juunanagou and Juurokugou, both of whom had left her behind to watch this idiotic van that she hated. His attempts at trying for friendliness must have worked because her glares, if not softening, became more curious than truly pissed off at his presence. It had been a stroke of luck even running into her, disorienting to see her now in the mountains or Gero's lab, but sitting inside a pink delivery van, bitter and drinking as he'd seen Bulma do herself a hundred times.

When he'd tried to escape, after simply standing there for thirty seconds, gaping at the angry drunk angel that currently was dragging his heart around after that kiss, Juuhachigou had yelled at him. To come back, and Krillin had stopped, turned around, and done so. Even though the smart thing would have been to run. Even more so with this new retrospective, to flee would that have been the intelligent thing to do. But he'd wanted to be around_ her_. Ignoring things like, well, the basically rabid and mechanical parts and her determination to murder his best friend because uh, she was pretty? Fascinatingly cute and scary and clever with her sarcasm and with those wonderful creepy eyes. Adorable with that frown as she looked at him, and it was pathetic how easy it was for him to cave and not even raise his ki to warn the others of his state.

Because…because he wanted to be alone with Juuhachigou.

Because Krillin was a moron.

He had not run away. He hadn't saved the day. He hadn't fought her, and lost and been left for dead or for the others to help. Krillin had sat there beside her as she began ordering him to not leave. 'Just sit there, shrimp.' Pinning him with eyes that thrilled him when they met his own, even as he wondered desperately when she would finally murder him. Krillin had followed every order, secretly savoring the nickname and wondering if she actually knew his name, and why she was drinking, and analyzing every word she said loving the pouting mouth and span of her white forehead and perfect eyebrows and how those blue eyes saw down to his soul with a quick glance and sneer as she read his dumb dumb mind.

Rather than make an escape, the fighter just sat there and counted bottles emptied. Polite, becoming even politer as the angry android continued with her exasperations. With his hands in his lap. Nodding to what she was saying. Justas he'd done a million times before with Bulma and even Chi-Chi as they went on about their boyfriends/husbands. The strangest déjà vu that almost made Krillin laugh at such a connection, that yes, even the crazy machine woman could get pissed off at mundane things like a disappointing partner up and leaving her which was admittedly rude, Krillin could say with easy objectiveness. 'Oh, yeah, he's a jerk.' And even keeping a hopeful smile off his face.

Until she'd mentioned that there was no one better around, and that even for being such an annoying little pest, Krillin wasn't_ so_ bad—

With him still trying not to grin, feeling all proud of himself over having a normal conversation with Juuhachigou of all people, and who was an evil cyborg that would destroy the human race but also had lovely legs that hopefully she would never notice Krillin noticing and-

- 'so, you won't mind if I just have my way with you?' Said with a little cocky smirk that had almost made Krillin laugh as he choked inside and tried not to freak out over her saying that because it meant she really could read his mind, and was she actually drunk or just faking, and her leaning in closer, scooting towards him, _what_, now would come the pain, blood and murder, her too close and moving in and him swallowing and Juuhachigou had kept that half smile on her face throughout the entire twitching event where she really had basically ordered him around some more.

An event. Yeah. That had definitely had been an event. One that should have normally been a grand, loving moment rather than one to be repressed and denied as Krillin hoped the woman he'd actually yes, had slept with, that his _lover, my_ _god_, would murder him very quickly.

Because she'd had her way with him, and neither could survive on the same planet after such a thing.

…Maybe the cyborg had been lonely?

From what he could see of Juuhachigou's face, she seemed very peaceful. A different creature when her eyes were closed and she rested, slept, like any normal person did. When those pale eyes fluttered open, Krillin would- he would be…dead. Just dead. Again. And when the others felt his ki disappear, they would rightfully come after her, and either defeat her, or die in the attempt. Oh, Kami, the others. They would think he was dead. He had just disappeared as they searched for Cell, after all.

Somewhere, Future Trunks was shuddering, and didn't know why.

Please let none of the other fighters learn about this tragic event. Let Juuhachigou kill him swiftly, and with some dignity if she let him put his pants on.

Krillin was not the type to just sneak away after meeting a woman in general—and that was when fully clothed and under platonic circumstances. He'd been a secretive, sneaky boy growing up, and had disregarded that cynical exterior for his true emotional and needy self. Now it came back, all in a rush, of how to hide himself, how to act like nothing had happened, to run and never look back as you left another younger kid behind to face the bullies, so many years ago, before you would even slide a dirty magazine under your shirt and wave to the shopkeeper to displace any suspicions.

He was a new, old Krillin. One with a new steely vow to never approach a single person ever again with any hopes of a romantic entanglement. That was a punishment, and a reward for what had happened here.

This sordid terrible thing that could never be spoken of again.

Not even think about her. The taste of her in his mouth and her surprise 'you're actually good at this, shrimp' and his own strange pride over that. Their shared laughter when they'd fallen over and then had to rediscover one another.

Now he was trying to lift her head up from his chest to slide away from her.

- Where were his pants? Why had they used this strange cowboy outfit as a blanket? Where were her friends, her possible goddamn scary boyfriend with dead eyes and impossible strength? Oh, oh, _Juunanagou_. His earlier attempts at trying to edge in-between their relationship was now coming back to mock him. What the hell had he been thinking, messing with such a strong, borderline psychotic woman who had a frightening boyfriend? What had _she_ been thinking?

…did this mean Krillin was the other man? A homewrecker?

Somewhere, Future Trunks was crying, and didn't know why.

Of course she woke up right as he searched for his boots, because fate hated him.

His shoulders caved inward, and he had no idea how far, how deep the depth of awkward could be reached until this moment. His stomach, pale and showing scars the last thing he'd see before she snapped his neck. Still silence. It strangled him and left him trying not to stare at her, trying not to die right here from spontaneous combustion from the uncomfortableness of it all, trying to not feel guilty for just being ready to take off.

Maybe someone else would be able to lay down clear guidelines and rule, a thing that wouldn't get him murdered, but Krillin could only slowly turn his head and stare at Juuhachigou. Her stretching and definitely still nude.

It would have been better to run, or take his murder like a man. But a real man wouldn't have given into his feelings for her in the first place that allowed him to sit there beside her, and hormones that led him to undressing himself while she waited and asked about scars. The scratch marks on his back hurt the longer Krillin stared at her.

Was she purposely doing all this?

"You want to get breakfast?"

Rubbing one cheek, looking a little still tipsy and adorable with her messy hair. "You're still here?"

**406. Show Me That You Love Me, and We Belong Together**

When she heard that she needed his Master's permission to see Krillin, from the turtle hermit himself, she laughed herself sick. Then felt sick in general it looked like from this vantage point of the stairs. And angry, defensive, as she so normally would retreat into. "Who said I was even _dating_ Krillin?"

It was disorienting, to see her trying to get through the doorway, and his Master attempting to keep her out.

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. And why would he need your permission? So she'll meet your _standards_?" Juuhachigou shifting, not moving away entirely.

"It's my house."

"Well, I don't need your permission to come in here, do I? If I'm not dating the shrimp, then I can come in."

"Why are you here, if not to see Krillin?"

"I'm here to see him. Just to talk to him. Are you his chaperone?"

Master Roshi straightened his spine. "Maybe I am, android. Why do you want to talk to Krillin?"

"Because I can. He's not your slave."

"And neither is he yours."

"You don't even know what you're talking about, old man."

"How do you even know he wants to see you,_ android_? For all you can know, you'll have to take a number to meet him."

"How convenient. I already have one."

**407. If There's a Reason, It's Lost On Me**

There was, on the whole, not a lot to say to her. In general, it was hard to conjure up words that weren't curses or threats or whimpers. It was_ Juuhachigou_, after all, and even for someone as easy-going as Krillin, the rules of small talk were thrown out the window. And not because she looked like a pretty woman. At least there was that much to cling to, to keep his crazed spirits tied down to his chest and make him still able to rise in the mornings.

'Hey there. Still a sociopathic murderer? How's that been going for you? Alright. See you next Tuesday?' Said with the loosest cadence of a joke, and sometimes making Juuhachigou actually laugh. A terrible thing.

When was the last time he'd even been able to joke? He'd used to laugh and smile all the time even during the worst moments...even if they'd never lasted this long, or been so severe. As bad as things had been on Namek, at least he could say that Goku would come and save everyone, that at least Gohan was still okay, that this could all be undone and at least it wasn't _his_ home world…

There had been a time, when he'd used to wonder _why_ they did this. When it would keep him up at night, and dig into him as he listened to the radio warn of another attack. Once, Krillin had been curious, had been hopeful that there were answers, had once had hope, had believe that there would be an end, and it would be a happy one.

Slowly, Krillin had learned better. Starting with Goku's death, unbelievably mundane. Then losing Piccolo, Vegeta, Tien, Yamcha and Chaotzu. Knowing that Gohan was too young for this, too young and weak, and that Trunks would grow up in this world. All it removed so much from him, and Krillin wasn't sure what was left.

Now he helped bury the dead, and fought when necessary, and moved supplies, and knew that the only end would come when the androids grew tired of playing and killed him. Overall, he tried not to think, to shut off any ideas or questions, and wanted to only be a robot that existed only to move boxes and bodies. Out of all his friends, and what few remained at that, Krillin had always been the thoughtful, conscious one, and the irony did not escape him.

The androids would play their childish games and keep score of who killed the most people, and Krillin and Gohan would become increasingly distant and learn to deal with losses emotionlessly and to simply hang on with whatever was left and wonder if today would be the day.

**408. The Person Falling Here is Me**

For a split dizzying and almost comforting second, she wasn't even all that surprised to see Krillin standing there because he'd been in her mind lately, a lot, too much, and him standing above her, her lying there before him, wasn't even that shocking, really, that he was still dressed was the real confusion. What had been a nightmare was Cell, a figment of her mind, and that was over and this, this was a much better fantasy.

Then she turned her head to see a strange tiny version of Piccolo and that Gohan boy and the real Piccolo and further back the three-eyed human warrior _and_ even further back the scarred ex-bandit-and this was definitely no dream nor even a real nightmare, and Juuhachigou had to jump up in confusion and growing horror as things fit into place.

**409. You know I dreamed about you for twenty-nine years before I saw you**

**You know I dreamed about you**

**I missed you for**

**for twenty-nine years**

In the end, Krillin took no pleasure in his duty as he stepped in and stopped the person that might have been responsible for an untold number of deaths. For such a supposed scary figure, he had expected more of a fight.

"Now let's go destroy the androids."

In the end, Gero was just a scared old man, and Krillin was no hero for murdering him.

"Krillin?"

And it had been murder, Krillin knew, staring down the fallen figure, lost. Despite the threats, there had been no real strength in this man.

"Wonder what this remote's far. Better take it, in case."

It was him that Bulma had turned to, to talk to reason. To implore and ask and joke, and the sixth person to be told that she was pregnant, and Krillin. Krillin, please. I don't want to take the chance. I don't want this baby to grow up and have to face—what if the others…

Her hand on her stomach. Eyes not looking at him.

For her, _their_, sake, Krillin looked away from the broken body and didn't stare at his own shaking hands. For her. For her and her child, and all the other children, Gohan and the other kids on this planet that would die if that dead man had his way. He was no hero, but he was still a protector.

The lab itself wasn't so impressive either. Cracks in the floor. Medical and disturbing odors of blood and rubbing alcohol and plastic that even a noseless guy could smell. The ceiling was strange, elaborate and purple with square carvings, and piping and wires that twisted. Lights overhead, sunken and round. The walls the mountains, this was just a cave hidden away in the melting snow of this summer month. Bright, if oddly shabby and not too clean. Hard to imagine evil being created here; hard to imagine anything being given birth and creation here.

Blue eyes took in the small cave, understanding what she was seeing better than he ever could. Pods situated around the room, conveniently labeled with neat large numbers. Official. This is

19

18

17

with one further set back. Broken? There had been two androids, supposedly. Were the others empty? Which ones even held the androids? More than two.

Vents in the back confused him. Was there air-conditioning in this place? For comfort? For _whose_ comfort?

Unafraid, Bulma pushed on. Not even pausing to begin struggling with the doors in the back.

Dark heavy blue-green glass hid any features. Were they behind there, watching him? Surely they weren't conscious and aware, were they? Eyes wide and empty, following the fighter and pregnant woman's every movement. Would they awaken, pull back their lids, and reach out to kill Krillin and Bulma? Would the others even know, or would the androids murder so quickly that there would be no chance to raise his ki?

"Where's the rest of the lab? Back here?"

An elevator that led downward was the last thing he wanted to go on.

Whatever down here were things that Gero had wanted further hidden. Had not wanted anywhere near the door, and discovery.

"Well, it's for you. And the baby. Does Yamcha know yet?"

"About the kid? Oh, yeah."

In the back, down the elevator, that was where his work had actually taken place. The smells were worse; Krillin could actually notice them. Bloody meat and oil it in his mouth and feel it sinking into his throat and making him want to gag. Bulma only wrinkled her nose, and dealt with it.

It was like a crude hospital down here. With beds that had straps, too many, and needles everywhere. A good thing that Goku wasn't here, maybe, no matter how afraid Krillin was. Metal scraps stacked around, bits of human skeleton carved from metal, intricate with wires, and some thin, some thick. A desk, a small screen and keyboard and blueprints scattered, tossed about. Tubes, nearly as tall as Krillin lined up like soldiers. Tile beneath their feet, also crumbling, and something huge in the corner, round and square. A tank, empty and a paler green than a Namek's skin.

"We have to destroy them."

That boy from the future had never actually explained what the androids looked like. To him, you'd know them when you saw them.

And even further back…

The surgery room.

But all Krillin saw was two teenagers. Youths. Older than Gohan by a decade, and younger than him by years. Maybe that future boy's age. Similar haircut, but theirs was longer, bright and darker. Their faces of a similar cast, square and sharp. Naked and defenseless, and covered with sutures and half-healed pink scars. Couldn't look away. One a girl, one a boy. Held in place with heavy restraints.

They _bled_, all bruises in the hollows of their arms. Needle tracks.

Humans? Down here? Experiments.

Had they been completed? Or were they still works in progress?

Krillin didn't notice until he was biting his fingers that his hand had gone to his mouth. Tasted fresh blood combined with the odors in the air, and he nearly did vomit then. Bulma had to reach out to steady him, the thin pregnant woman that wasn't even a fighter had to steady him. Too thin, maybe, for being pregnant, and up close he could see smudges beneath her eyes hidden partially by mascara.

It didn't matter when he closed his eyes. Saw Gero falling, the sting of ki in the air, and hear Bulma's question when she arrived on Kame House so early in the morning. Could remember the sound of the ocean, could see the grey water and the doorway as she'd stood there before dawn.

He saw pitted marks and could guess what might be under there.

He could guess too much.

"You think these two might be it? That guy said there were two of them."

"Or they might be something else. The androids might be in those tubes up there."

"Maybe. This entire place has to be blown up. C'mon. Let's get out of here. I'll get a head start while you blow the entire mountainside up. Don't leave anything, Krillin."

"Bulma. _Bulma._ These are people. They're practically kids."

"So was Gohan, when they killed him. What do you think they'll do when they wake up? You think _they_ let kids get away?"

"We don't even know if they're androids."

Hadn't he already killed an unarmed old man? What was this, if not more blood on his hands? Why hold back? Why not finish this? Kill them right here. A kinder face than one they might experience if Gero had still been here, cutting into them. There were scalpels sitting here, strong enough to cut into them already. One swipe to each, and it could be done. It wouldn't matter if his hand shook, even. Cover their mouths and noses, and let them go peacefully. While they slept, press against that soft part of the neck. Pass from whatever dreams might remain in them to the Otherworld. Wouldn't that be kinder to them, if they even were alive? He could sense the softest amount of ki from them.

Alive, barely.

A quick death. Faster than the ones they might themselves might dish out. Wouldn't even need to use any of his strength. Bulma waited there, his friend, wanting to see what he'd do. She was the strong one.

The girl had paler skin, bruised heavily in part, the slimmest wrist that even he could have wrapped his thumb and index finger around. Bone and skin.

Why had it come to this? Why couldn't the others be here, why couldn't they be trusted, and brought to kill these two. He wasn't a hero anymore, was he? Why come up with any excuses, justifications, for murdering these two? Why cry, when he knew what had to be done, and knew that it had to be him.

Had his tears fallen on them?

A stir. Their eyes were a matching bleached blue.

Krillin wasn't sure which one was the one to say the one syllable word; maybe it had even been him that had pleaded a soft, "Help."

**410. My Therapist Said To Not See You No More**

"Why did you even do that?

"Was it just to tease him? Again? With all his friends there? You know, you shouldn't be so cruel to the shrimp in front of everyone like that. I was weirded out by them inviting up to their party, but I didn't kiss anyone as revenge.

"What's with that look? It's like I need to shake you back to Earth. You in there, Juuhachigou?

"Do you even like him? Do you? Euch.

"…_Do you_?"

* * *

"What you need to do is just ignore her. I know, I know, Krillin, but it's for the best. She's a cyborg after all. Who knows what she can even feel? It's entirely possible she's just using you. Softening you up.

"Plus there's the creepy factor of her having videos of you. And that she was programmed to kill Goku.

"And...really, bro, do I need to add anything more?

"I do, don't I? I should never have invited them. Bulma was right. Hell, _Vegeta_ was right. Do you need to be slapped back to your senses?

"Krillin. Stop grinning."

**411. Please Don't Go, I Love You So**

His clothes sticking to him despite the cold rain, Krillin dug into the alien dirt. He didn't feel the sweat rolling off him, or notice the worried stare from the wounded Saiyan and Bulma, who still clutched the son that had been so recently returned to her alongside her partner. She was coughing, still unused to this ruined atmosphere, turning her head away as though unable to look at the bodies and the blood.

Like she hadn't also cherished these deaths caused from her husband and friend.

Krillin looked away from Bulma, turning back to his work.

She was not his to even mourn.

Not his to worry for, as Juuhachigou had told him so many times on the way here. 'We're not even friends.' Her smile, her laugh in his ears that one night a week, an eternity ago, and the touch of her fingers, cold and trembling, and the way she had turned away from him so many times. Sun on her skin and hair, the yellow-white glow of home and her lying next to him a single time, and then this terrible bright light that wouldn't fade soon enough on this dying world. 'You never meant anything to me.'

But they had buried her alive.

She had turned away, and come back to him again as she always said she would, and this time changed further. Become exactly what Gero would have wanted, standing there and ready to murder him as she never had been interested in, not even in those snowy mountains when they first met.

(alive, is she even alive, are you sure you want to see what might be left, what might be ruined and destroyed, if there was anything left)

Krillin dug further, no more ki left. No more strength left but for digging into this hideous dirt that stung his wounds. No more power left to fight away the memories of her.

Juuhachigou's considering pause before those blue-skinned bandits. The way she'd look so innocent when Gero had attempting siccing his androids onto the fighters. Her fear and concentration when watching Cell fighting. Anger and disbelief as everyone else told her how Krillin felt for her. The knobs on her spine as she'd curled around him and shadows that slipped away as the sun rose.

His betrayal. Her betrayal.

Nothing unexpected or new, on this planet. Hadn't that only been par for the course, when it came to fighting. Hadn't Vegeta himself turned for his own sake? Hadn't the pirate bandits turned on each other without their leader, and hadn't that girl helped him along with the big guy, with giving him that remote their fellow alien had made? Even that had hurt, taking it, thinking of them, even as he'd rejoiced that there could be allies…even that, them, were so much ash.

Hadn't that been what the others had been so scared of? That she would kill all of them, even after Cell had knocked the other androids down a notch. And hadn't he even been afraid, when facing her with that remote (which time?) that she would not be what he thought she was. That Juuhachigou would be something other than his cherished illusion that he held only in his own head? Hadn't that been what she'd also feared, his dreams and expectations? They'd been so afraid that she might not live up that they'd never spoken of it, and could never have expected that he, Krillin, would be the false one.

It was almost funny, and he bared teeth that tasted of poison rain.

But there is also the simple bare fact: they had hurt her.

And no matter what he might be now, liar and lost and retired martial artist, without any clear loyalty, he was still a fighter. A man that could throw a punch at least. Someone capable of rage, who had raised his fist sure enough and had brought it down as he had his finger onto that button.

He was so cold, enough now. Even after he'd awoken from that rage that had burned itself out, this horrible figure from boyhood nightmares of ogres and fists driving into helpless pale faces, he'd been so cold. Unafraid for _once_, as he fought another battle. Krillin had burned for her; it only made sense that now he'd freeze for her as well.

(Had he ever thought there would be a last battle, really?)

Had he really pressed that button, for real, this time, or was this all another nightmare, a dream he'd wake from with sweaty sheets and stifled screams. Had Krillin imagined this all, this world of bandits and fire as the volcanoes exploded and him even winning a fight, fighting alongside Vegeta of all people, to save the ones they loved? Had there even been a remote in his hands again, blood on his hand, on her hands, unfocused eyes as she fell, had he ever thought she was capable of love and that he could have

(a happy ending?)

her?

It practically looked like a coffin, and he didn't feel the wounds on his hands as he tugged at it. A pod, like so many they'd seen here from that ship that might have brought relief only to be brought down. The survivors of it forced into slavery and slow deaths. Coffins, yes, they had buried her after…

Shut down. Krillin had only shut her down, but that might have been enough.

The blood on the handle matched the color of those buttons on those remotes.

Inside. Pale, and whole at least. Was she breathing? He couldn't hear over his own heartbeat. Was she okay? Did she still have a heartbeat, when shut down? Did she need to breathe? After so long, Krillin had nearly forgotten the aspects of her inhumanity. Always, Juuhachigou had to look so young with her eyes closed. He could have fallen in love with her for that alone.

But it was her opening her eyes, that put everything right, and it's her voice saying his name, with all its inflections and meaning still there.

Whether or not they forgave each other just yet seemed irrelevant when they reached out to check the other was yes, still alive.

**412. What's Your Deal With Me**

Juuhachigou had a strong feeling about why she'd been ordered to HR. It was her and Vegeta attempting to stab one another with pens and letter openers, like children. But both had despised each other after the second glance and first smirk, and it was only a matter of time before they'd had enough of each other's taunting. Of course someone would complain and both would suffer consequences besides stitches and glares.

Only, inside this office, there was no scowling bruised Vegeta.

Only that short bald guy, Krillin, looking horribly uncomfortable, unable to even make eye contact. He was always so awkward and uncomfortable around her; a borderline creep with his stares. Now he only looked up at the ceiling, while Bulma sat across the other side of the disastrously messy desk, next to Goku. The tall man was making his way through another sandwich despite lunch being hours ago, and the blue-haired woman, their boss, was busy with her nails.

"What's this about?"

Goku attempted to say something, and nearly choked to death if not for Krillin jumping over the desk and punching his back. She and Bulma simply watched them.

In fact, Goku's oldest friend's only reaction was to say, "You have to chew more, Goku."

Juuhachigou tried again. "…Why am I here exactly?"

"We have to talk. All four of us. About this company's policy on proper work conduct."

"But why is he here?"

Krillin's round face was writhing with effort. "I was just talking! I didn't know it was going to be an official complaint!"

"He's your HR rep. Of course you can't tell him about wanting to…I don't want the details. Do something inappropriate to Juuhachigou. Something with an office kink. I assume." She flipped through a folder sitting on top of a pile of candy wrappers. "Wait. You're pressing charges against Juuhachigou? What the hell?"

The blonde woman nearly had a stroke. Crap. "_What_?"

"Yeah, says here you 'made an inappropriate and unwanted sexual gesture' towards him? Wow."

"_When_?" Her wide eyes moved from staring at Bulma, lost, to looking at the sweating weirdo sitting next to her.

"When you first started? I guess only now Krillin is filling against you. Alright. Let's get this over with. All this he said, she said B.S."

"I never did anything to him!"

"You did…"

"What?"

The short man was sinking further into his seat. "Kami, Goku, why did you file that thing?"

Goku shrugging, working on a cookie. "You seemed unhappy. Like, you didn't like it. Therefore, you know. It was bad."

"I was just saying stuff. I wanted girl advice. Not to sue Juuhachigou for sexual harassment!"

There was too much horrifying implications to that. She had to fight back. "I'd like to file my own complaint against him!" She pointed a finger at Krillin. "He's always staring at me. Trying to talk to me. Thinking my twin brother was my boyfriend; what the fuck was that? And don't you remember that Christmas party?"

"That mistletoe was definitely a mistake." Bulma nodded, understanding. As she herself would claim, Bulma could be all 'beauty, brains, and compassion in one well-dressed package.' "The alcohol too. Vegeta got so wasted…and you won't believe the state of the supply closet we found the next morning. _Disgusting_."

"Didn't need to know any of that."

"Well. I guess you'll see each other in the sexual harassment class."

"This is crazy. Do I even need to go into what that old man does around the office?"

"I guess you could solve this by filling out a paper that neither of you will sue. An official paper that state you two are in a relationship. What, you have to do it even if all you do is have a one-night stand after a Christmas party, when you were both gone on peppermint schnapps."

Krillin was tugging at his tie, his collar. "Speaking of which, how is the pregnancy going?"

"Oh, fine. The baby kicks a lot."

Juuhachigou wished she could find a letter opener on Goku's desk, somewhere among the mess. "…_what_? Look, I'm not signing anything. I didn't do anything to him."

"Well, what was this gesture she did to you Krillin?" Bulma was leaning over the desk, all ears. "Bet it was something mean. Did she tease you, because you were drooling over her?"

"No! She kissed me."

"Oh my god. Are you kidding me? _That_ thing is what you're so upset about?" Of course. That was the dumbness that led him to watching her too much. And trying to be too polite, and asking about Juunanagou in weird ways. The little bastard. Was that why he'd asked for her to join the same team he was on? She had known there was more to his feelings than simple kindness.

"Yeah." Goku was nodding along, brow furrowed. "That was it. You were upset by it. Before the firms joined, and she was with that other place. And then she kissed you, and you were all weirded out and thinking about her, and you said you were…what did I put?"

Bulma read off the paper. "'Increasingly unable to focus on work.' Because of that unwanted sexual advance, is the implication."

"It was just a kiss on the cheek. It was_ nothing_. How can that be anything? Is that really enough?" Because, honestly, she had done worst. And to Krillin, even. Making him add paper to the copier, even when nearly full, just to see him bending over. Real instances of harassment, like sitting on his desk and practically letting him ogle her, just to see a certain file and really, because it was funny and he was kinda cute in a pathetic way. Things that had actually occurred in those videos new employees were forced to watch.

She shrugged, nearly spilling Goku's soda. "Well. It's in here now. In the system. And then Juuhachigou is also filing a complaint?"

"So now we both have to do to that sexual harassment seminar? Who's doing it this time?"

"Um. Piccolo?"

"Oh, great."

"You both apparently have boundary issues to work on. Either sign the document that states you had a consensual relationship at one time, or go to the seminar. Your choice."

"I dunno." Goku dug around his desk drawers, probably searching for more food to choke on. "That kinda seems like a 'hostile work environment,' Bulma."

**413. Got A Taste Of You, Threw Up All Night**

It didn't change a thing, nothing, there was no mark even, no physical mark, and yet Krillin still found himself rubbing the washcloth against his face to take off another layer of skin. Ridiculous to find himself in this bathroom he'd been in a thousand times since he was a boy, feeling like he'd never been in here and having to search for the soap.

She'd had no right to play that game, to look at him like she had. To taint him like this. There, where his ex had actually kissed him with real affection.

Was she why his hands now felt unfamiliar, why this all seemed moved about and different, and why Krillin hadn't told anyone what had happened?

But it didn't matter how hard he scrubbed, because the darkened irritated skin of his cheek only looked all the more guilty.

**414. You're a Million Ways To Be Cruel**

Nothing. It was nothing but a flippant response to Bulma's joke about her time free of Gero as going on a vacation, and just exchanging a cabin in the woods for a tropical island.

"Of course," Bulma had said with too flippant a smile most definitely not aimed for Krillin. "It's probably less romantic a setting. Less roaring fires and cuddling up on a bear rug."

Perhaps she'd been referring to the stacks of porn in the corners of the living room. Or Roshi's presence. Or Oolong's room filled with women's underwear. Or mocking Krillin's obvious intent.

Juuhachigou had agreed without thinking. "Probably more likely a turtle shell than a bear skin rug."

Not even said with a smile as Krillin's brain turned to mush, and the other's eyes slowly grew, and then Juuhachigou caught what she'd said. That her only response was to stand there, horrified, rather than play the entire thing off only further stole the air from the room and the euphoria and disbelief threatened a smile that she would hate.

**415. You're a darkness and you bring your darkness.**

There were many strange moments in her current, new life of transition and change.

She was Juuhachigou, cyborg created to kill Goku Son and his friends and comrades if need be.

She was also the person who had watched two utterly crazed rabid half-saiyan toddlers run about while nearly running away while Krillin tried to fend off the ki blasts he'd helped teach.

But she had to say, finding herself saving others…this was not her. She might not be a murderer, but certainly was no hero either.

But she was here, raising her hand again to throw another blast. Laughing and taunting these absurdly dressed enemies (as they were certainly no friends to her) with their sad attempts at weapons they used. She is here, and then _there_, driving her fist into a weak point, watching a pained grimace, doing what she had been repurposed for.

Just to the wrong people.

Perhaps.

Juuhachigou, once again alive and thunder and with a mission to complete, to help push one of the humans out of the way from something they couldn't handle, ignoring Krillin's grin and compliments while ducking another blow by another lackey, exchanging a morbid joke with her twin as they all waited for Gohan to get angry enough to murder everyone he considered a bad guy.

**416. If You Need Me, I'll Be Downstairs**

It took an entire year before she discovered the basement. To make it a little bit more humiliating, her brother was there to rub her nose in it.

"Well, it's not like I live here." Exactly. No, she just stayed here, sometimes sleeping downright platonically with Krillin after they were both too warn out to continue, and ate here and spent at least twenty three hours a day inside this building while yelling at the perverts and refusing to pay any rent...because she did not live here. "And it was hidden."

"Yes. Behind a door." No one was more sarcastic, sardonic, and as annoying as her twin. Had the time apart only made him worse, or was she less immune? "So. Let's see what's down there."

"I'm not going down there. Into the porn dungeon."

But as soon as Juunanagou began heading down those stairs, Juuhachigou was forced to follow. Not out of curiosity so much as to make sure he didn't destroy something valuable, and be forced to explain to the others what had happened. It would have sounded so juvenile and idiotic. 'He just blew it up. I don't know why. Why didn't I stop him? Uh. I didn't care?'

"…so that's where the washing machine and dryer are."

"You didn't know?"

"I don't do the laundry."

"Well, hasn't this been an interesting field trip. I'm glad we came down here. Learned so much. No bodies even._ And_ less porn than I imagined.

"Well, I guess you can make this your room. Or let Krillin actually have a place to stay."

She nearly asked Juunanagou what the hell he was talking about, before her mind snapped into place and sense stopped her mouth from opening, and revealing the truth. Then Juuhachigou could picture his reaction to going upstairs to explore, and finding the clothes in the drawers. More destruction, and this time, it would be her things her brother might wreck. "…right. Well, if you're interested in looking through things, you could always peruse the old man's video collection. Or the magazines he keeps outside under his chair. The chair right _outside_."

**417. In-Laws**

"You can't win this one Juuhachigou! I'm stronger than you."

But that didn't stop Juuhachigou from tearing down the front door to chase her brother through the living room, and then pounding his head into the walls.

Krillin had thought that letting Juunanagou stay there wouldn't be so bad. The other man was quiet, didn't eat much, didn't insult him much, and Marron certainly liked chasing him around with a water pistol. And he was a better chess player than Juuhachigou. As was evident as she nearly threw him through a window; no patience. Raw brute strength despite her graceful appearance. He'd never thought to hear the calm smug android yelling in pain.

Krillin covered his daughter's eyes the best he could.

Juunanagou reached out for help, but when Krillin and Gohan made a move, Juuhachigou glared at them long and hard enough for them to sit back down. Then she shoved her brother's arm further up his back.

"Is this what siblings do?" the almost-teenage wondered aloud.

"I have no idea. Hey. Hey." He did what the older monks would sometimes do and break up fights. But trying to drag Juuhachigou off her twin only made her angrier, and decide to pull him into their wrestling bout.

"Is this what's going to happen with Goten, one day?"

"I think those two are on of a kind." Master Roshi scratched at his beard. "Then again, my sister and I don't often see eye to eye."

Maybe it really was best that Marron was an only child.

**418. And You Will Believe in Love and All it's Supposed To Be**

"Krillin? You like the android girl? The blonde one. I think the other one was a guy. But you like this one?" Pointing at her. Goku cocked his head, blinking. Then beginning to smile his old happy smile that meant everything would be okay—despite all signs to the contrary. "Wow. Way to go."

Just as innocent as his son. Krillin could have gladly slammed both their Son heads together. Then pleaded with Juuhachigou to forget whatever they'd said, to forgive him for not using that remote, to appreciate that he hadn't used that remote, to simply look at him and understand without ever learning why he'd spared her.

The others were making their own little comments of disbelief, looking at him wide-eyed and a little pitying, with Yamcha acting specifically as though Krillin had betrayed all they'd stood for.

Though Goku, he was perfectly accepting of it all. Saw nothing wrong with it, perhaps. He was always so accepting of everyone, and must have seen nothing wrong with Krillin falling for the evil android that was supposed to kill him. So quickly he understood, with a smile for Krillin, and one for Juuhachigou, as pleased as though he'd brokered the match and would be the best man at the wedding. At least he was better at differentiating genders, and wouldn't 'pat' anyone, as he'd used to when growing up.

Further throwing the android off her game. Android Number Eighteen, who had been turned from a normal human woman to a destructive cyborg to wreak revenge onto this group before her.

The warrior winced when her glare moved from Krillin to him.

Then, oh, Kami, Juuhachigou was looking back at him.

Nothing like how it had been earlier, their situations. Everything was so different. She was not so evil and frightening any more, and there was no evil monster headed their way, and instead, they stood as possible friends, companions, maybe sparring partners, allies, someone to nurse a doomed crush on and think about too often.

"Don't hold your breath if you think I'm going to thank you. What, expect me to fall at your feet now? Big strong boy rescues me, so I'm his forever right? Not that easy." Turning her back, turning away from him and all the others. "I was wrong about you Krillin."

Only Goku's disappointed voice stopped her from taking off. "Awww, but why? Krillin's a really great guy."

…the man had no subtly whatsoever!

Now it was her turn to wince. And look just as disturbed as when the others had found out how he felt for Juuhachigou.

"I don't owe him anything!"

"Hmm. Guess not." Goku's brow was furrowed. Then that goofy grin came out. "But he sure seems to like you. That counts for something, right?"

It was probably the worse argument Krillin had been in that he'd never directly involved in.

"No, it doesn't." Juuhachigou sounded so sure.

"Hey. No. Jeeeez. I know that you and Juunanagou are meant to be together and—" and I couldn't give you whatever that creepy guy does and you two are pretty much made for each other and he has way better hair than I do and is taller and-

"What are you talking about? Juunanagou is my twin_ brother_."

"Brother? But I thought…" Brother. That explained some things. And opened new scary, frightening, wonderful doors.

"I know what you thought, bonehead!" Gritting perfect teeth and fury in blue eyes.

"Uh, does that mean you like Krillin now?"

"Of course I don't like that cantaloupe head." …was she blushing? Unable to even look at him now.

"Really? Who doesn't like cantaloupe?"

This time, Juuhachigou really did leave.

Unbelieving, and disturbed by all of them. A twist of her ankles and she was running off, away, from him. All of them, really, but maybe Krillin in particular. Only, before taking off, she did stop, to turn and look at him. For just a brief second that he almost would believe he'd imagined.

His friend's hand was heavy on his shoulder. "Don't worry. I think she likes you. Maybe. You know, when Chi-Chi's mad at me, I usually bring her some flowers or something pretty. Or hey, clean her house up. Um. Or cook. Just not anything with fruit.

"All you need to do is something nice for her. Don't worry. I'm sure she'll come back. Or we could find her, and you could give her stuff then."

Goku might be either the best or worst wingman ever.

**419. In The Food Court, By The Hat Store**

**I Could Love You In Such Unremarkable Ways**

Juuhachigou was reminded every day, from the second she awoke from whatever sleep she'd managed, at every conscious moment of self-reflection when she'd find herself tracing her clavicle and wondered where that bomb had been set anyway.

She had known too much about him, what he thought and wanted and his petty sad attraction. What had made him use that last wish to help her, despite being sure that she was involved with someone else, thinking that she might very well hate him and might never see him again. And had Juuhachigou thought that she might hate him as well, after, before that wish, had she thought consciousness of this new awareness of her own body and gaze, and of his presence.

But somehow, seeing him just sitting there with all her bags as another hour passed gave her a whole new appreciation for his devotion. How long could she get him to stay here, like an obedient puppy? Though, that was selling him short since it wasn't like she could throw him a ball to entertain himself, or a bone to chew on so he could entertain himself.

Standing there, watching him, thinking of how she could destroy this building, thinking of his slumped shoulders and way his head would twitch towards her and Krillin's smile that would flick on when seeing her, of how their clothes hung on each other. Of this perhaps domestic scene, and the ones that would follow it.

Juuhachigou could just stand there in this crowded mall, and watch him waiting for her return.

**420. Please Save Me From Myself and Rescue Me From Everyone I Know**

Their existence on Earth continued again atop Kami's Lookout. Dropped off, unkindly, by some power from the Eternal Dragon. In time, they recovered, and separated themselves from each other, only to come together in a group hug. Bulma seemed to have learned to fly in the time they'd been dead, if how fast she threw herself into Vegeta's arms was any indication. "Oh, Veggie."

Everyone just subtly turned away, breathing in the fresh air of Earth.

Trunks stood there, about twenty times as tall as the last time they'd seen him, both heartened, and disgusted, by his parent's display. Everyone had to thank him, pat him and Dende (who'd also grown alarmingly tall) on the back. Krillin was greeted with Oolong hitting the back of his head, and his Master giving him a gruff hug ("it's good to have you back, son") while Puar was practically breaking one of Yamcha's ribs.

"Um. What's going on?" A small, forever smug voice asked. One they'd never thought they'd have to hear again. Only Vegeta and Bulma were unalarmed, since they were unable to move their faces.

They'd been seemingly dropped there, away from the others, and the slight wind up here ruffled the clothes that set them apart further. Unchanged in every way, except for the wideness of their eyes and shocked expression. With what little light there was, you could still make our the small red insignias on their clothes.

Looking up, mouth open, staring at the dragon with all amazement.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here." Every word was carved into stone and pressed into their forehead by Trunks.

Never before had anyone seen these two flinch. Only in another timeline had Trunks witnessed fear in those pale eyes. "We don't know! Who are you people!?...why's there a dragon up there?

"And who are we, even?"

They exchanged looks, shrugs. Becoming increasingly alarmed, as the fighters watched them was an eerie silence. There was ice in the mountains they'd been reborn in that was warmer than these men before them. Even Oolong and Puar glared, and Master Roshi wasn't even staring at Juuhachigou's chest.

Above, the Eternal Dragon remained larger than the sky. "I have brought back all of Gero's victims, and undone the damage he has created."

"Including to the androids?"

"The damage has been undone. What is your next wish?"

None of them ever thought they'd see the day that the android twins would cringe before them.

"We can't use the next wish on Goku, guys."

"First. Let's get rid of these two." Yamcha cracked his knuckles with some authority. "Then we'll wish to all be filthy rich or something."

Trunks' smile was all his mother's, cruel and cheerful. "Right. I already killed these androids once before."

"We're not androids!"

"We're normal people! I think."

Juunanagou reached over to pinch his sister's cheek, making her cry out. "Knock it off!"

"See. Normal. Please don't kill us."

It was…hard to outright snap and kill them. Them, the two scary teenagers that had rampaged through Earth. They were so skinny, and their normally hostile eyes were large with fright. No, no way would those two normally cringe away in fear. They'd been arrogant until the end, Trunks could have told the rest. There was no way for them to sense ki, androids or not, but you didn't need that to know the energy swirling in the purple-haired man's hand wasn't safe.

"If they really aren't murderers anymore," Krillin voiced. "Then we can't kill them."

"Or _can we_?"

"No, Yamcha. We can't."

And to Trunks' horror, it was once again Krillin defending the insane psychopathic machines from what they deserved. And once again, the others reluctantly were going along, even his father, even his mother and Gohan, whose scarred face was set in a grimace as they all listened to their friend plead for mercy.

* * *

He'd never thought to see Capsule Corp again. It was no longer a perfect yellow dome, faded and cratered from old blasts and marked with smoke, but it was still there.

A vision swelled before his eyes, of his home: Kame House, the salmon paint darkened from some past explosion, but still standing. The walls inside a paler pink, and his room hopefully not filled with porn/trash. He could go back to his life as it had been before trying to fight those androids. His death had just been another intermission. One where, admittedly, there had been enough time for baby Trunks to have grown up, but he was still the old Krillin. Hadn't even aged. With a joke to always distract and ease the tension, and who just ultimately wanted everyone to get along. Still thirty-two and single, but able to breathe again. Look out world, here he came.

Of course, him during his worst stage of a rude smartass teen didn't compare to these two in that stage. His had never involved murder, for instance. Or the leveling of a city. Just stealing a few beers and girly magazines had been the full extent of his crimes onto others.

So was it in him to forgive the androids? Vegeta had almost gone ahead and destroyed them anyway, with only him jumping in front of the androids, followed by a reluctant Gohan and Trunks.

"If they're innocent, than my father would have spared them." But still the teenager, adult really, couldn't even look at them. Krillin couldn't blame him for that, and was only grateful that there were others on his side, to see the confused teenagers with their hated faces and pathetic power levels. Yes, Goku would have spared them, and that had stayed even Krillin's hand, no matter how much he despised the blue eyes that had widened with fear.

They were sad, and that was somehow worse than if they were full of rage.

_But, wouldn't you also be afraid to wake without any memory, before a group of angry murderous strangers? _

Of course. Of course.

Easier to look away from them, as Gohan and Trunks did. Easier to follow the others back. With his friends here, heading down to repair the damage and rejoin the world of the living.

No more Afterlife.

And that was—good, yes. There would be peace. More peace, as there always was in that paradise that had consisted of training and waiting and playing too many hands of solitaire. For something, anything. Down on Earth, there would be rebuilding and starting over. Yes, of course it would be better, his future.

"Maybe we should just leave them here?"

Piccolo had refused such a plan for their rehabilitation. "So they can kill the guardian of the Earth?"

"Who?"

"'Guardian of Earth'?"

And Krillin

He'd somehow gotten the duty of caring Juuhachigou down. The aircar Bulma had brought could only fit so many people that couldn't fly, after all, and no one wanted to sit too close to Juunanagou. Juunanagou, who'd refused to fly, let alone be carried, and the contrast between the frightening machine to this sweating teenager were again considered. Juunanagou, if he can even be called that now, who hadn't wanted to be separated from his sister, even while the others practically had to part them to simply make sure they weren't plotting.

Given that Krillin's face was practically friendly in comparison to his friends, she'd specifically picked him out of the others. 'You're going to carry me?' If she and her brother hadn't been mass serial killers that had in fact murdered Krillin himself, he would have felt a ping at being so close to—no, better not to think about it. Who she was, this cringing scared, yes, pretty young woman.

Which was what she was, now. Not even a cyborg.

One that still looked utterly confused, and downright terrified when they were flying. Practically clinging to him, this woman who'd killed so many millions—if not billions of people. Who had at one point buried her face in-between his neck and shoulder, while her nails dug into his skin, as her attempt at saving face disappeared.

"Go slower!"

"We have to keep up with the others. Or they'll think you snapped my neck." She didn't smile back at him. "Besides, I'm not going to let you fall down and die."

"But you'll let me fall enough to _scare_ me?"

"You have a suspicious mind. No." He sighed. "I'm not dropping anyone. Ease up your grip, please."

"You're more polite than then muscle-headed friends of yours." She looked at him for a long time, hardly blinking those startling eyes. They were different, as well. Darker, and there were twisted lines from the pupil like any other person, one that they'd lacked when they'd been androids.

Billions, yes, definitely billions had died because of her.

And of course now was when he got this close to a girl. There had been more than a few female fighters in Otherworld, but none apparently had a thing for short bald guys. Just his luck.

Really too bad she wasn't also riding in that aircar with her brother.

* * *

She might not know her name, or her brother's name, or if she was even human, but she understood the hate from these strangers. Perhaps she was human, for being able to tell that difference, to sense it even from the other room as they talked. Hearing their tones wasn't even needed, and she missed her brother all the more.

Was he still alive, or had they murdered him?

A couch with a knitting blanket thrown over it, bookshelves with titles that stirred nothing in her imagination, no window.

Next to her, her babysitter sat and flipped through channels and explained what he was watching. News reports that featured blurred images of her and her brother, twin murderers it was stated, and dead. Images of a world that was healing without them. To hear of it, they had killed even puppy dogs and rainbows, and she guessed that might as be true. How many people had they killed, supposedly, was there even a toll, what—

The strange bald man changed the channel, giving her nervous stares.

Afraid of her. Afraid for her.

"You don't remember anything?"

"I told you that already."

She looked at her nails. Pale hands, and thin, nothing hands that seemed to be here, and hers. Had she created power in them, spilled power out of these palms?

"Juuhachigou? Number Eighteen?"

"Is that me?" Her voice? Was it her, from vocal chords or a box, what was beneath this skin, was there wires beneath there, if she could claw her own skin off what would she find-

"_Juuhachigou_? Stop."

His hands were much rougher than her own, stronger, as they caught her.

"What are you _doing_?"

She moved even closer to him, seeing her supposed reflection. "What's under here? Am I human?"

He looked away before her. To her palms and long fingers and fingernails that had broken and stinging pale skin. "Yes. You're bleeding."

"Machines can't do that." Can they?

"You were never a machine, exactly. Just…well, you had some mechanic parts, I guess."

"Are they still there?"

"I don't think so."

"Why are we here? Why are we alive?"

"The Eternal Dragon, that big scary green dragon, he undid the damage Gero did. To everyone. Except, you know, memories and things like that. So you and your brother came back, and human. Completely. I think."

"What's his name? My brother?"

"Juunanagou."

Number Seventeen.

"Don't we have real names?"

The stranger was still looking at his hands, still touching them, afraid. Of her. For her. "Yeah. At some point. But we don't know your names. I'm not sure if you and Juunanagou knew them either. Or you just shut off the human part of you."

"We killed all those people."

"Yeah." Now he was looking at her eyes. Maybe trying to see his reflection in them. "Yeah."

"And any other family…"

"Don't know. They could be out there."

If they hadn't killed them.

Was this a dream? Maybe it could be a strange dream, but shouldn't she know her name, even in a dream? A brain tumor, maybe.

"We should get your hands cleaned up."

Again, he was leading her as though she were a child. Had she been a child, even? A normal child with a name and a family? Or had she been born in a lab, metal parts covered with a fake skin? Had she been in such homes like this, with pictures on the walls and knickknacks on the shelves? Held hands with a man before, even in such a ridiculous way?

"Here's the bathroom. There should be some antiseptic under here. Some-_where_."

On his knees, searching, he looked even shorter, and it was hard to believe he could fly and was a fighter, as in would go around punching people in the face like some superhero. She almost wanted to touch the back of his head to see if he was real, if there were some sign, but if she had, the man might have been afraid. Broken her fingers when he thought she was an attacker. Better to stand here, holding her hands together and touching the already-dried blood.

When he stood, he didn't even reach her shoulders. Had to look up, while he tilted the bottle to dampen cotton balls and wiped her hands clean with rubbing alcohol. Fingers calloused and misshapen, and little like her own.

If she were such a murderer, a robot as they claimed, should it hurt less? Should she not wince in front of him and want to pull away? If she'd been stronger than him, should she be so afraid and uncertain?

It was maybe something in the slump of his shoulders and quick dabs that made her finally ask. "Did I kill some of them? Those men?"

"Oh. Some. Uh, a couple of us." He was worrying on his bottom lip, definitely not looking past her fingers and seemed to focus on them. Clean blood off the wounds and find a Band-Aid and not deal with her.

Unable to peel the wrapper off completely, the man had to use his teeth to get it off, and looked simply…"You?"

"Me?"

"Did I kill you?"

"You, and your brother."

Then he was putting the bandages around her fingers and neatly applying them to her palms.

Oh.

Better that she be a helpless child than a killer android, in his mind anyway.

There were six dots on his head, and she wanted to ask what they were about as well, what did they signifiy, and what had happened to his nose, and why had she and her brother killed him, or anyone. How he could be strong and have the power to fly, but still had to search for the garbage, still looked at her as though she might be dangerous.

Maybe better to be helpless and at least mentally innocent of crimes. But how could she not ask questions?

"How old am I? My brother and I?"

"Hmm. Hard to say." Did he always have to wait to put together a sentence? Did he know how annoying that was to hear him stuttering and trying to piece together something safe? Or how painful it was when he did look up at her, actually looking at her and analyzing her face that in the mirror when she glanced, seemed too scared and pale? "You looked the same when you two showed up to—you know—and you haven't aged."

"We didn't age?" The face definitely looked too young and if not innocent, at least non-frightening. Her features she knew, as she'd known her brother was her brother. This person had killed or helped kill some of the men under this very roof, and countless others outside it. But the man besides her was still a mystery.

"No, and we didn't in Other World. That's the afterlife. Right, so, we should…I don't know. Hey. Maybe something nicer would help. Um, I don't have any pictures of you and your brother, but maybe looking at something of us might help. Stir some memories. Since you know, you and Juunanagou were created to kill us? Okay, maybe it won't help." Eyebrow twitching, mouth pursing and shifting eyes. Had he a particularly expressive face, or was her own just so numb? Where was his nose, for that matter?

"It might." Anything but wondering who and where she was, who her brother was besides her twin.

He led her back, more eager this time. Their hands still touching, and that did feel off. Because he was a stranger, or because of the fact that it was him, an enemy apparently, that she'd killed. Had she ever touched anyone before, without causing pain?

"Let's see." At least he turned his back to her, unafraid of doing so, as he went through shelves by plants with varying degrees of drooping, dying leaves. Carefully brought them to her, watching her reaction.

They were heavy, thick with tape and featured smiles from people she still didn't know. Her victims? Wearing normal clothes and eating too much or laughing or with small children or getting drunk and ridiculous. She almost felt a third-hand embarrassment over some of their antics done with ruddy flushed faces and beer bottles in hand. In the background, things looked as peaceful as their forever cheerful faces. People that were not the same as those she'd met in that strange place. Her victims.

"Does that help any?"

She slammed the album shut. Was it fear or shame that made her so angry? How could she even know? "Well, now I'm just convinced that you're all alcoholics."

"We really don't get drunk that often." He was smiling, head bowed a little, and she didn't know her name, but she could guess that he was trying to cheer her up. Strange, given everything that she had been.

Spared, and carried her, and seemed to not wish death on her or her brother.

Merciful, even this strange woman could tell. Could see and understand in some dim way through human instinct

(human. now are you human?)

Kind and capable of forgiveness. Was that why she might be less afraid, if only of him in particular?

"What's _your_ name?"

"My name? Oh, it's Krillin." His laugh was… "I guess it would be dumb to say exactly that I'm glad to have met you."

His laugh was rueful, hurtful.

"Still, I guess I might be."

And why couldn't she look away?

**421. It's Time To...Tango!**

"No. Get away from me." She nearly literally slid away from him on the bench. In a red dress that bared her shoulders, and matched her lipstick and shoes. All anger and perfect cheekbones. The prettiest woman in the room.

Krillin ran a tongue against the rough stem of the rose in his mouth. "You shew?"

"Yes."

"Dasth?"

"What?"

He pulled the flower from his mouth. "You have a date?"

"No." There was more steel and titanium in her voice than any modification in her body.

But Krillin only smiled rather than back down. It was that reckless grin that stuck with her, even when his dumb friends and her idiot brother finally broke up their fight and pulled her hands from around his neck. That, and the happy-go-lucky look in his eyes and the cheerful confidence that would haunt her as he asked her, "Do you want one?"

**422. Why Am I Standing Here, and Missing Her and Wish She Were Here? **

Amazing, how even in this she was graceful.

She had not even fought it.

Those eyes had seen him, taken in his presence and what he held, and had only stood there and accepted.

It was out of_ respect_ for both their choices that allowed him to remember his own strength. To not weaken at this moment, and preform a half-measure. Krillin would follow through, and not flinch too badly from his duty.

Krillin had won, and that was all that mattered.

Her afraid had hurt, but her unconscious and as innocent as any girl asleep was all the worse. In another life, he might have protected her properly. In another life, he could have been a better man, and properly helped her. In another life, Krillin might have met her under kinder circumstances.

But then, in another life, she'd murdered him and his friends, and countless others.

(Was someone yelling her name?)

He summoned strength from somewhere.

Without any anger or relief, Krillin could almost think about where to aim. Her head, that held those brains that had so allowed her to fight and mock Vegeta and had given her the idea to kiss him and search for Goku to murder? Between pale eyes that had been so amused with his pleading and so wide when he found her? Her chest that held what facsimile of a heart she possessed

Three years training for this, no, longer, since he'd become friends with Goku, since the Red Ribbon Army had tried taking over, since he'd been brought back from the dead and the fates had decided to send so many enemies to cross his path. From the corner of his eye, he saw green and black.

_I could kill her. Defenseless._

The other android was yelling something, telling him about the existence of something cruel inside her that he already knew about. Stupidly, he'd almost forgot.

Or maybe it didn't matter. How big an explosion would it be?

Would it wipe out this island? Kill Cell, and the Saiyans? Or just enough to destroy him, and maybe the machine, who was still talking in too calm a voice, speaking of compassion and mercy and all that Juuhachigou wasn't?

_She is defenseless, and I can't kill her. Could I ever kill her? _

_I knew about those bombs, and still charged. _

He didn't care if that large android, Juurokugou, killed him now.

It really didn't matter.

**423. My, My How The Time Does Fly When You're Going To Die By The End of The Night**

It hurt, physically, to press the button. Something inside squeezing shut, an artery in his heart, veins turning to ice.

Yes, you did it.

Krillin wished he hadn't done it.

Felt unsteady on his own feet. A knot in his stomach. Was he going to vomit? Right here? Krillin could barely swallow and tried to look into the world again.

Her eyes were wider than ever. He could so rarely read her, even now, as her attempted murderer. "You actually used it." Voice hushed and crushed velvet.

"What was the point of that?"

**424. "Krillin, what are you doing? Put that android down right now."**

The tiniest portion of his brain that wasn't yet deadlocked with panic could appreciate the fact that she wasn't wearing a skirt as he threw her over his shoulder. While the rest was simply marveling over the fact that he was touching her, that he was still alive, that he'd actually used that remote, that Juurokugou hadn't yet flattened him yet.

"Where are you taking her?" His eyes were the same pure unblemished blue.

"Away from Cell." It was the dumbest thing. He needed to destroy her, not act like she was sack of flour to take back from the store. Yet he couldn't, could not bring himself to do something so permanent, had blown all his courage on even approaching her and actually following through on Bulma's advice. Some of it, anyway.

The hulking android still had squirrel on his shoulders.

Sweating, idiotic, Krillin asked, "Can you follow?"

"No. I'd only slow you down."

As though the large figure was her chaperone, Krillin had to explain himself, this witness to his dumnness and bravery and cowardice. "I'll take her. Somewhere. Somewhere safe."

Where the hell was that? Capsule Corp, with Bulma and her family? Put them and the entire city in danger? The worst idea yet. Where, oh, kami, where? Kame House? Right. Hey, Master, I need someplace to hide this android for a while? Imagine her waking up there, possibly next to Oolong's collection of panties and Roshi's porn and Krillin's bed, or in his bed with him possible standing too close and having to explain what happened with no backup. This was not how he'd wanted to pick up women—especially Juuhachigou. Kami's Lookout? With Goku and Gohan? She'd wake up on some scary place she'd never see, but there wouldn't be any pile of porn at least. Would they be safe there? Would Vegeta follow? Oh, crap, he had to get her away _now_ before the angry Saiyan plucked her away and served her up to Cell on a silver platter. Fuck.

Where?

Juurokugou offered an idea. "Whoever created that remote. Take her to them. So long as they won't hurt her."

"They won't." They would try, but Krillin wouldn't let them.

Bad enough he'd actually used that damn remote. That had been terrible enough. For so many reasons—not that he'd ever thought he had a real chance with Juuhachigou, between her being an android and probably with Juunanagou and trying to kill his best friend, and Krillin being human and a protector of Earth and so short and miserable and weak.

But this definitely wasn't helping whatever secret doomed fantasy he might have once conjured where she might look at him. Yes, he'd been content to love her from a healthy distance, to admire from afar, but if she'd ever offered to dump her boyfriend and have some strange attempt at a relationship, Krillin wouldn't have minded much that floundering attempt at something more than friends.

It also definitely wasn't a great thing that he had tossed her over his shoulder and fled with her. Like some caveman. Horrifying, to find his arm so close to her—_her, _just her, think of her as a solid figure, genderless, a bag of potatoes that was rather bony. Completely ignoring her feelings on the manner, and being an idiot that wasn't even sure where to go. One still holding that remote that might not wake her up. Oh, Kami, what if she woke up right now, to this? To his back in her face, his hand around her waist? She would pull his spine out, by inches.

And wouldn't he deserve it, for using that remote, and not actually killing her?

Splitting the difference. If anyone asked, that was what he'd say to explain it. I was being pragmatic.

And I'm totally not enjoying having her so close.

Thank Kami she wasn't wearing that skirt, seriously.

No one seemed to notice him flying off, close to the ocean with her. Just as they hadn't noticed him approaching the island. If he kept his head down, and ki low, they could make it through this. To Capsule Corp. By then, Trunks would have talked sense into Vegeta, or hopefully destroyed Cell.

Then Juuhachigou would be safe. And awake, right, Bulma would wake her up and save the day again, and she would forgive him and become a good guy and a friend to the gang, and since Krillin was imagining great impossible things, why not see her becoming single, as in breaking up with Juunanagou when he was brought back, and suddenly that kiss wouldn't be mocking, and would magically become a sign of affection and a mark of her attraction for him. Right. Juuhachigou was going to be into short guys with annoying voices and no noses, that was her type, not taller, dark handsome guys that she'd been made for, practically.

Really it was good she wasn't awake right now. Or through the entire trip.

Or when he arrived on the huge lawn that led to the yellow domed house/lab, and had to explain everything to Mrs. Briefs, who this was and that she wasn't a date from a party that had gotten out of control as what happened when Bulma and her Vegeta went out, and the prince would have to drag her home.

"Is she sick, dear?"

Yes. And so am I.

"Yeah, she is and needs to see Doctor Briefs."

If she'd awoken when Krillin slipped her off to carry her, more comfortably if equally distracting, in his arms, she surely would have been pissed off.

Or freaked out, when Doctor Briefs proposed dissecting her and seeing what human parts remained and if those blueprint were the same for her as well. It was great for all of them that she was unconscious, when Krillin panicked, spun to keep her from the doctor, and accidentally knocked her head into the wall hard enough to expose the electrical wiring—of the building, not her head.

Gero was clearly the worst person to have ever crossed her path, but up next had to be Krillin. He was a bad luck charm, and not only for himself. Ever since she'd met him, Juuhachigou's life had taken a turn for the even worse. Sure, the short fighter couldn't be blamed for her no longer having a normal body (though it was still lovely, and oh, Kami, so light and defenseless in his arms), but she hadn't fulfilled her mission, and had lost a boyfriend and friend and had gotten beaten by someone so pathetic as he, and was now being lugged about from room to room as Briefs looked for his tools, and a lighter and an ashtray as he didn't want to get any on anything important.

"Important?"

"I hate getting ashes all over delicate circuits."

Her hair was practically tickling his chin as Krillin pulled her closer. "I_ told_ you, you're not dissecting her."

"Yes, yes. We'll see. She may also have a bomb inside her. That might need removing."

"Oh. Huh. Maybe. No, wait, until she wakes up and gives permission. With paperwork, and everything."

Carefully, they found a place to rest her on, and Krillin could only stare at her, wanting to tuck the loose strands of white-gold from her eyes, and sure that if he were to do so, Juuhachigou would awaken then. Sleeping Beauty brought back from an evil spell not through kiss from her true love, but from sensing a short weirdo being a pervert over her. One of the dwarfs that hung around the princess, maybe, with a crush, and who wasn't allowed to take part in any of the songs. He was the dwarf that no one ever talked out: Creepy.

"You know, I hear there are safer machines for that kind of thing. You can get them designed exactly how you'd want. Now, they might be expensive, but at least they're designed for having-"

"Doctor Briefs. Stop right there."

Thankfully, she didn't awaken then either. To hear that, or notice him almost touching her hair and knowingly having the saddest puppy-love expression on his face. This was pathetic, even for him.

For falling for her in the first place. This was Juuhachigou, non-human and non-alien, perhaps not even alive in any true way, especially now. Whom he'd betrayed.

For being unable to bring himself to even look at her with whatever expression was on his face. Because this was _Juuhachigou_, and he loved her, inside and out. Gears and circuits and sarcasm and mean laughter and blue eyes that were now too empty and had to be closed with a shaking hand.

Krillin could just sit here, and look at her, and wait.

The only truly major villain he'd helped destroy, and he happened to be in love with her. Because he was Krillin, and he was short and broke and so awkward at the worst moments and had the most terrible luck of _anyone_ on the planet.

…Except for maybe Juuhachigou. Who had been turned into a cyborg by a madmen, along with her partner, and had been chased by a giant bug, only to be turned off by a short, broke, awkward, desperate man that was in love with her so desperately that he hadn't had the courage to actually kill her, and had only brought her to the home of an enemy. If she'd been awake, what would her reaction to all this have been? Bemusement? Rage?

Probably rage.

'What do you mean, carried me? Why would he do that? Why does my head hurt? Why does that old man keep talking about a 'sex doll'?'

When Bulma came into the 'waiting area', attempting to hold a screeching Trunks, hours later, she was both annoyed, and livid. She handed Krillin Trunks, as a clear punishment, while she surveyed the scene before her. Then she had to find her own cigarettes before giving him a clear answer about what was wrong.

Then wait until she'd finished her diatribe about how idiotic Krillin was, how selfish and careless, and was Vegeta alright, he did what, that_ jerk_ oh, and how was the other Trunks, was he alright, good, what, hang on, where's my lighter.

"Here. Now, can you help her?"

"Who? The android?"

"Obviously!"

"You mean 'it'?"

By then, Trunks began mauling him, and it was all Krillin could do to fend him off and ignored Bulma's terrible comment.

When she'd thoroughly ignore the ash tray and made a mess of the couch, she stood. Looking perfect with her hair and clothes so neat, collected when Krillin pulled tiny, deceptively chubby fingers from his cheeks and away from his eyes. The short, scratched fighter could almost imagine that this modern and calm woman could get along with the equally confident person he'd brought. "Alright. Let's see it."

One glance, and she had to flay Krillin some more. "Ooooh, I get it. God, Krillin, did you learn nothing from Maron?"

"It's not like that!" The worst lie. The most painful. The most pathetic.

Baby Trunks slapped him for his mother.

"You know this won't end well, don't you?"

"She's different. I swear. Not from Maron—I mean, yes, she is. But she's not like the scary androids Future Trunks described. Really, Juuhachigou's not so bad."

"Is that her 'name'?"

At least none of his teeth felt loose. Gradually, he managed to find a restraint-heavy contraption that could hold Trunks. "Yes—don't blow smoke into her face."

"Shut down. Completely."

"Don't poke her. She's not really gone, isn't she?"

What if he'd killed her? Permanently shut her down? Gero might have had something temporary, but Bulma could have messed something up. All she'd had were some blueprints—blueprints that hadn't even been _Juuhachigou's_.

"It's off, that's for sure." She rotated Juuhachigou's head on that boneless neck, _poking_ at her eyes, peeling back the eyelids, feeling for a pulse. "Hey, Dad, Dad? Where's he gone?"

"I have no idea."

"Hmm. Well, since we've got an android here, why don't we test some things? Don't look at me like that. We have to find out exactly what's going on, and if we can wake your girlfriend up.

"What? Krillin, stop pouting. We'll get this all figured out. Then get you a real girlfriend."

"Please, Bulma, can you help her."

The desperation must have moved something for Bulma. She patted his shoulder, eyes scanning the lab. "There's something we should do first. Before tinkering around. I've got to check what's under the hood. No, really, I need to know exactly what that remote might have done. She's got a pulse, but it must have done something to her brain. Cut off oxygen, maybe. Here, help me out with this thing."

Despite any misgivings, Krillin had to listen to Bulma's commands to grab some husking scary white machine, and take the heavy smock and glass of lemonade that was handed to him by the pair of Brief women. At least Bulma's mother seemed less sarcastic when she referred to Juuhachigou as 'his little girlfriend.'

"She seems nice."

"Oh, Mom. Can you watch Trunks for me. And maybe find Dad?"

Juuhachigou _seemed_ small, under that contraption.

"Okay, let's just turn this on. We can see everything here. Don't be a baby, Krillin."

It was terrible, how they talked about her like she was an object, a thing, rather than a person.

But they still hadn't killed her yet.

There was that.

"Look at_ that_. Look at what Gero did. Man was a genius."

"I don't _want_ to look."

Bulma ooed and awed over the various parts that Krillin didn't understand. "Gero was a genius. What, what's that. Oh, got it. Huh. That's interesting. Still got a spleen? Where's that other kidney? Right there? Nevermind. _That's _boring. Mm. Maybe I was wrong about some things. Or not accurate enough."

"What, is she okay?"

The scientist sounded disappointed as she leaned into the screen. "Sure, sure. More parts that I expected. Or maybe,_ less_ parts."

Krillin immediately really wished he hadn't looked.

Better to look at his glass of lemonade, and pretend he didn't know what a close-up of Juuhachigou's liver looked like. Right, that was a liver right? And what was that, when she panned out, was that_ ribs_, was that metal right there, or had Bulma zoomed in accidentally on a leftover bowl of soap left scattered through the lab?

Out of somewhere, wearing a smock like the other two complete with a mask, the doctor strolled up with something in his hand.

"Try this, son." Briefs handed him a duplicate to the remote he'd used on that island, and thoughtlessly left behind. "Maybe this'll wake the android up? Oh, is that—huh, wouldn't have thought Gero would have left that."

"I know, right."

Awful, how something so small and simple could ruin someone's life. Completely shut her down, as though she really were only a machine. Could he keep claiming that she were human, basically, if a remote could turn her off like a television set? But that fear Krillin had seen, when watching her focus on Cell, that couldn't have been feigned. Some metal parts, yes, but that didn't mean she could feel, couldn't think and express emotions, and didn't deserve a second chance to live a life.

Just a simple remote to turn her off. Enough to ruin an innocent life. Krillin stared at it, this light contraption that had less buttons that even the TV remote at Kame House so neatly tucked into his calloused hands.

What if it was just a matter of pressing the remote's button again?

Closer than ten meters.

Those eyes fluttered, awake, terrifyingly awake and aware.

"Hey, Krillin, you're in luck." Bulma was laughing, unbeknownst. "I think she can have your noseless children."

**425. If It Came Down to Your Life or Mine, I'd Do the Stupid Thing and Let You Keep Living**

It was Juurokugou who decided to try a truce.

Juuhachigou had gone along, out of necessity, and could only wonder what Juunanagou would have said in this situation. Would he have gone along, only to double-cross the humans, and go after Goku? Or would her brother have simply smirked and followed their lead, giving up his own plans? If nothing else, Juunanagou had always been capricious.

They all watched her. Waiting for a reaction that Juuhachigou herself had no idea what might be.

She watched the humans talking, straight-backed and waiting. Unafraid for whatever would come, simply biding her time as she had with her twin. Again at the mercy of those that didn't care for her and treated her only as a means to an end. How would she woke her way out of these shackles, and what would she do without her other half? What could she do without Juunanagou, and with so many fighters that had once again regained their grasp around this mud ball?

Juurokugou also still was alive, petting a cat and almost looking content.

Given her options, perhaps it was best to follow his lead, as ridiculous as it appeared. Though she would shoo away any felines, or sad puppy-eyed short fighters that kept staring at her, even while arguing with their friends.

Bulma Briefs, oldest friend to Goku and lead scientist at Capsule Corp, took in Juuhachigou's presence in her home for the thirteenth time. She lit another cigarette with a snap of a lighter. When she offered one to the cyborg, she accepted to the human's bemusement. It only seemed to make Krillin's eyes go wider, if possible, and Bulma all the more skeptic.

Another stare, as though seeing what was beneath her skin, and the human woman once again had to chew Krillin out for his decision of mercy, and for bringing the androids here of all places. "I should never have given you that thing."

"You really shouldn't have."


	18. 426 thru 500

Only took what, two months for this chapter? Getting better.

Also, holy hell, I've been working on Days, you know, that really old collection of K/18 stories? Yeah, so we might get an update there eventually.

And thanks for the reviews, messages and favorites, because that stuff reminds me to keep working on this giant collection. tomorrow4ever, it's pretty fun to see someone reading this story from the beginning, and reminding of all this past work, so thanks for that.

Can you believe we got to eighteen chapters? Isn't that just _perfect_?

Next time, some weeping, mentions of Maron, and an attempt at living in a normal place rather than one filled with porn.

* * *

_I was scared of dentists and the dark_

_I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations_

_Oh all my friends are turning green_

_You're the magicians assistant in their dreams._

_Oh, and they come unstuck_

_Lady, runnin' down to the riptide_

_Taken away to the dark side_

_I wanna be your left hand man_

_And I love you when you're singin' that song and_

_I gotta lump in my throat cos_

_You're gonna sing the words wrong_

**Riptide—Vance Joy**

_Said in the most innuendo-ridden way possible:_

"What would you like for…_dinner_?" - Android Eighteen

"We'll figure it out…_later."_ -Krillin

**-Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3**

* * *

**426. ****She Walks Right Up, And Then She Tells Me I'm an Asshole**

People were staring, and he wasn't whether to be glad of witnesses or not.

At least she hadn't punched, or killed him, Krillin consoled himself, feeling his stomach still clenching, the pressure behind his eyes, the heat of her eyes and the warm of Juuhachigou's breath nearly brushing against his forehead as she leaned forward.

For a second, Krillin had thought-

For just a second of déjà vu—

Then he'd registered what she was saying, her tone, the exact words, the disgust in those eyes, the sudden pain in his stomach and chest, his crumbling hope for _anything_ really.

As Juuhachigou herself had asked, rhetorically, how could he have thought her feelings otherwise?

**427. ****All my enemies are turning into my teachers**

Of course when Chi-Chi handed the phone over without a word, Goku took it immediately. That was always the safest thing to do, especially when she was attempting to cook, and the boys were nowhere in sight.

For once, it wasn't anyone calling for Chi, or a girl asking about Goten or some old guy wanted to talk about papers with Gohan. For a second, Goku had no idea who was speaking, though of course he knew the voice, but…Had he ever heard Vegeta using a phone before? And he had no idea what Vegeta was even talking about. Not that_ that_ was new, though for once the older guy wasn't talking about that planet that had the same name as him.

For once, he wasn't bragging about Saiyan heritage, about what Goku had missed growing up amongst humans, such as training for his tail to be grabbed. His tail, that sometimes he would still miss. That Gohan had inherited and would curl around his parents' wrists when they'd held him. Had Goten been born with a tail?

Goten, who was growing taller, and thinner, and would fight like his mother, and Gohan, who had never trained with Master Roshi or so much with Goku, and instead mirrored Piccolo more than anyone else.

After a few seconds of silence, where you could practically hear the vein pulsing in Vegeta's head as he was ignored, Goku figured out what was going on. "Gohan wrote a book?"

"That's what I've been saying, Kakarotte. Have you been listened to me at all? Do you not even know that he wrote about our race?"

Had Gohan talked about it? Had Chi-Chi? Or Goten?

When was the last time he'd talked to his oldest son, who was normally with Videl or Goten or Piccolo or at school somewhere west?

It was almost funny to hang up on Vegeta, and then ignore the phone ringing, to sit at the table and listen for any details of that book. But then, no one mentioned it, and _he_ couldn't bring it up. What if they had talked about it, and he'd just forgotten something again, and Chi-Chi might start to yell at him for not remembering Gohan writing a book. So Goku just took another slice of roast and sneakily kept his thoughts to himself (for once, Chi might have said) and planned to make a trip to the East City.

For the first time ever, he actually searched, and then went inside a book store that smelled like burnt coffee beans and ink. Then the tall man wished that he was wearing a jacket like the other people here. Normally there were stares when he traveled around in this gi, but searching around in a place he'd never been, full of things he didn't entirely understand, his boots seemed heavier than before. Gohan had written a book that was on one of these shelves, alongside these really thick books full of words he wouldn't know. It was here, next to things that people actually spent hours studying, so different from everything that was in his own head, and he felt as proud as Chi-Chi had been when Gohan had first begun to clumsily push letters together on the fridge to spell out words.

It was by a bunch of books, these ones skinny compared to Gohan's. By 'Cultural Anthropology.' His son's name written clearly and displayed.

Goku read the first page. Then he went back and re-read it. Then he wandered around until he found a dictionary. Then a 'thesaurus', full of words that meant other words, something he didn't even know existed. He was five again, playing with a caterpillar while Grandpa Gohan tried to sound out the alphabet on a small chalk board that always made Goku sneeze. He was twelve and short, sand in his shoes distracted him while he stuttering over a word and Roshi and Krillin stared.

The dictionary helped. But he couldn't string together what the sentences actually _meant_. Skipping ahead was worse, because it all became about small words that he did know, but didn't make sense, because what did some family with a weird name have to do with Saiyans? The word didn't appear in any of the pages, as far as Goku could tell.

There was almost a headache behind his eyes as he bought the book and dictionary and thesaurus, and he didn't even try going home and explaining why he had this stuff.

The little pink house that had been his home years and years ago was safer. Krillin and Roshi had lots of books, though most of them seemed to feature only pictures of women not wearing a lot, or stories where women took off their clothes, but maybe that happened in Gohan's book and he'd just missed it.

Goku didn't even bother knocking, distracted, wanting to know what his son was trying to say, and when he nearly walked into the shorter woman, they both jumped.

He could almost read her mind, thought he wouldn't have dared trying that trick that King Kai had taught him; it would have involved contact, and she'd probably try murdering him if he did something like that. But. It was written all over her pale face. A look that _he_ could read: There were plenty of odd sights she'd seen, before and after settling down on this island, but Goku showing up with a handful of books was new.

"Hi. Is Krillin around?"

How quickly she crossed her arms, like this weird impression of Vegeta. "He's out. Taking Marron to school."

If he'd gone to a school, could he have read these? He wanted to tell that little blonde girl to pay attention in her class, so then she wouldn't have to ask a scary android for help ever. Except that she was the daughter of that scary android, so maybe she wouldn't mind.

"What do you want?"

Weird eyes on his books. The real question.

"Oh. I'm trying to read this book."

"Gohan's?"

"_Yes_. Have you read it?"

Then she could explain it.

"Have I? Of course not. I know enough about you Saiyans from Gero."

"That's what it's about? Really?"

"I think there's a Cliff's notes version somewhere. Why don't you try that?" From the way she was smirking, there was a joke in there.

"Look. I…." Even now, knowing that she was one of the good guys (girls or whatever), Goku still felt nervous around . She _looked_ human enough, but no one had eyes like that, and she reminded him of purple nightmares and seemed to even smell of needles and doctors. And the way she looked at him, like Krillin had when they first met and he thought Goku was an idiot because he couldn't tell girls from boys and know how to easily sound out large words that slipped so easily from the short bald boy's mouth. "I know how to read. But all this is..."

Since Goku had come back from space after fighting Freiza, Gohan had been way smarter than him. Probably even before then. And books had never been so easy for him. But Gohan had written a book, and Goku couldn't even make heads or tails of it.

(how Gohan had used to curl his tail around his own wrist, while Goku and Chi-Chi watched him)

"It's not_ about_ the Saiyans. I told you, I can read."

"It's…you idiot." She actually looked uncomfortable. 'It's a metaphor. He wrote about the aliens, about you aliens, and changed the names."

They ended up calling Vegeta, and asking for more details. They had to put him on the speakerphone while the Saiyan prince sighed and tried to explain why he thought the lighthouse that was mentioned throughout represented strength that Gohan had sought, as any Saiyan would.

"I think you're projecting there."

"It's obvious. This entire thing is just some pathetic mental exercise that Gohan did to deal with his true heritage while he pretends.

"But. But, the way he talks about it. It sounds _sad_. Like, he keeps." Goku flipped around, looking for the right lines. "He keeps talking about these drooping flowers, that are dying because 'changing seasons.' Everywhere they go, it has a bunch of dying flowers. _Haunting_ them."

"…"

"…"

"You may be onto something, Goku." Juuhachigou actually looked almost impressed. "They're definitely a metaphor for the Saiyans dying off in the end."

"But the season are changing," Vegeta argued, too angry to be talking about dying flowers. "It is getting colder. The boy keeps talking about ice growing."

"Which boy? There's two boys. The one that gets to be the leader, and the one that ends up-"

"Hey. Hey! I haven't reached the end yet. Don't spoil it."

"Kakarotte, you haven't even finished the damn book yet? So you don't know that the know-it-all boy gets killed when he tries to turn the main group from their king?"

"No!"

"Also, the dog dies at the end."

"_No_! Wait. What dog?"

"You still have not gotten to the part about the dog?"

"Vegeta, he never uses the word 'king.' I'm sure of it. You need to read it again." Then Juuhachigou's face was getting paler, somehow. "God. Are we starting a reading group? This is going to be like the time that Chi-Chi taught Piccolo and I how to knit, isn't it?"

"Hah. You and the Namek and Goku's woman were knitting together?"

"At least_ she_ knows that the tribe definitely was supposed to be Gohan's friends, not his enemies."

"You idiot. The boy that joins the tribe isn't a stand-in for your son. He's the tribe leader. It's clearly wish fulfillment. The dog and boy that are sacrificed represent something to do with your son."

"Projecting, Vegeta. Gohan's always been more of a student. He's the one that gets betrayed at the end. Probably Gohan working out his issues because of what happened at the Cell Games."

"Stop spoiling the ending!"

"Really, why don't you just ask Piccolo to help? He proofread the damn thing."

**428. ****Pull up your car, park it outside my house**

Juuhachigou hadn't actually said the word 'date,' but considering she'd driven all the way here, honked the horn until he'd wandered out half-asleep and half-dressed, then physically hauled him inside through the window. His hair flopped against his forehead, and he wondered if it had been a bad idea to grow it out after all.

Smashed against the crank shaft and the window and Juuhachigou's leg, Krillin finally fully woke up and was very conscious of his bare chest. "What—what are you doing? You want to come in? Um. I can make breakfast."

Her voice was calm and nearly flustered him as much as that actually contact her warm bony knee. "I have a gym bag full of cash I took from my brother. I have nowhere else to be. Or anything else to do but drive around in circles. And you, I suppose."

That sentence needed several cups of coffee and hours of long reflection to be fully understood. "…but where did your brother get the money?"

"Krillin. That is not important. Now, do_ you_ have anyplace better to be or anything better to do?"

"Oh, drive on. Say, when did you get your license? And this car? And this money?"

**429. ****I Want A Man that Makes Me Feel Like A Woman**

"Um. Miss, Miss Juuhachigou? Miss Android 18?" Options were running out. "Ma'am?"

It was easier to just stand here, and look him over. Short as ever, though maybe a little taller standing straight rather than his bowlegged fighting stance. In normal clothes (for him). Stubble on his head and round cheeks. Eyes the same shade of that dark growth of struggling hair.

"Why are you here, Miss Juuhachigou? Not that I have a problem…with you being here. You can come by anytime. No problem."

Jeans a ridiculous shade of green. Shirt red, and unfortunate. You could really see the sweat stains under his arms. Beading along his pale temple, the sad attempt of a haircut. Really, him with hair, and a beard…it looked soft enough, though. It was hard for him to look worse. And why wait so long to grow his hair out? Why go around being a short noseless _bald_ weakling?

"It's just, you know, I'm curious why you're here. Since you haven't stopped by before. Not that I was expecting it."

He really did _try_ though. If in his own strange stuttering hopeless way, and for her. People usually did not try, when it came to her, except to get away. Certainly never to the degree that he had done to attempt making her simply—happy?

"It's nice seeing you though."

He had wanted and had made his choices. For better or worse.

And if Krillin could be honest, reach out, now perhaps she could finally open her mouth and make her own decision.

**430. ****My intentions were to keep the wallet after I had found it, but it didn't work out that way.**

Discreetly, she leaned forward and pressed her boot down on the piece of leather. Then looked around before dragging it closer and picking it up.

Of course there was basically no money in it.

The license was dorky, even for a license picture. Huge dark eyes trying not to blink at the camera. There were pictures in the folds, of this stranger with an arm around another guy, both laughing, and possibly boyfriend she might have thought until she saw the one with him getting kissed by a girl, squirming over the barely dressed woman's touch. Him hanging out with a dark-haired kid by a fire, next to a woman that looked like the one who'd been kissing him but wasn't, and a pig. An older picture of the guy as a skinnier teenager, looking wry and trying to be cool, with a pair of plastic red sunglasses covering his eyes. Shirtless, besides the ocean, sunburned and weirdly cute, Juuhachigou had to admit. Cute enough for her to want to slap him, and she had an unsettling sinking feeling in her stomach, a mixture of annoyance and dislike, disappointment, and had to admit alone in this dark theatre, that she was pathetically developing feelings for a guy she didn't know in any meaningful way.

What would be her line when she met him, 'I see you're an organ donor. That's highly relevant for my interests.' Oh god. That was what her brother would have done.

That was what any one of her adopted brothers would have done.

Yet. Here she rummaged. For a wedding picture or a snapshot of a girlfriend. No way were those two girls that appeared in the group photos (weirdos) dating him. This, this is what happened when she told her twin to fuck off with his dumb car, and went without him to places. Juuhachigou could almost him laughing and mocking this mess of a short man.

But at least she could pay for popcorn now.

Who was this guy exactly?

Was there a phone number written anywhere?

Because he seemed the type to reward a lost wallet.

**431. ****Please Don't Wake Me**

Krillin, even during this moment, wasn't so oblivious as to not know what this was. The grey shark that would sneak up to bite him, and send him bleeding and in shock to the bottom of the ocean. Of course he knew what this was, and how bad his state of mind was after all that had happened.

But why leave the safety of these blankets and pillows?

Why pull himself up and leave?

It's so easy to simply lie there, and close his eyes and be swept out again.

Once before she had come to him while he'd slept before, after all.

**432. ****These Feelings Won't Leave; Can You Feel The Chemistry**

This time, she managed to beat the waiter in putting Krillin out. Rather than wait for the stranger to reach the fire extinguisher, she simply emptied the exquisite wine bucket they'd ordered to chill their overpriced drinks. Juuhachigou made sure to keep the half-empty bottle next to her; she needed it.

Why had she thought a nice restaurant would somehow break the curse?

Yes, the curse. The pig was right. They were jinxed. The gods, and they apparently did exist, were there to punish her for what she'd done. They had not saved her and Juunanagou from Gero, but they had made her overextend her hand in hopes of taking his, only to knock the candle into his lap. They done this.

As well as the floorboard that had shot up when she'd stepped towards him, to smack her painlessly in the face. Or the electricity that had gone out the night they'd attempted to watch a movie relatively alone, and then the temperature had risen and disallowed any attempt at moving closer under the guise of warmth. The time when she had purposefully, for once in her life, woken early to greet him in the morning without any distraction, only to find the doorknob broken and had upset the whole house when she tore the entire door off the hinges.

When the light fixture hanging over the kitchen table had come down perfectly onto her head when he'd poured her coffee (an innocent gesture that the fates had still mocked).

The screen door snapping in two when she'd first arrived at his house, so easily brushed off as wear from the salt.

Baba, Roshi's almost stranger sister, stopping by to look at her and then (still unexplainably) her crystal ball, asking Juuhachigou if her twin brother was getting along with Krillin.

Her moment with the others of 'babysitting' a studying Gohan and flirting with Krillin, to be tarnished first by the tire swing she'd been sitting on snapping, and then Chi-Chi's hurried screams as she announced the baby was coming.

As though their first meeting wasn't rough enough.

Juuhachigou saw that wooden board of blonde wood rising to block off her view of the fighter.

Krillin was still lying on the ground, in shock. Perhaps contemplating Roshi's advice on having an exorcism. The fire had done a number on his clothes and made the view almost appreciable. For that, she took another swallow straight from the bottle, and reassured herself that no matter what, there was only so much damage the Earth could do to her.

**433. ****You Can Be Strong, You Can Only Be Free**

Finding Juunanagou had been easy enough.

It was what came after that were the real problems came in.

They never said it aloud, but this was her twin, and he knew her as well as she knew him. They didn't need words.

It wouldn't be hard. To sink in, and fly up over the city. Raise ki that never faded, and stretch out a hand. Give into the voice they would forever hear, and bring fire and destruction to the unsuspecting people below with their little lives. Meaningless. Continue until the fighters came to destroy them.

And would Krillin be there? How could he ever stay away?

There were orders and the voice of a dead mad man, and no more bombs that could make this easier.

Again, someone took choices away from them. But this time, neither of the androids had any clue what to do after that fact.

**434. ****I'll keep digging till I feel something.**

"We can't all sleep in this van," Juuhachigou argued, kicking Krillin and his pillow aside. Seemingly ignoring the rain and hail pelting the outside of this van and the sleeping clash of lightning outside.

"Well, we have to. Roll over, sis. Since we don't have money for a hotel room. Because someone forgot to rob_ someone_."

"He's right here," she hissed, still nudging at Krillin.

Krillin knew immediately that he looked far too scandalized. "You guys were planning on robbing me?"

"Probably."

"I guess it was a bad choice to go with you guys."

"You wake up every morning, looking like that. You look in a mirror, and decide to go out this way. Your entire_ life_ is made up of bad decisions."

"Hey. _Hey_."

"Jeez, sis, what crawled into your sleeping bag? Since I know it's wasn't Krillin. Even though you both want him to."

"…"

Her fist flew out almost too fast for Krillin to see it hit her brother. "Shut up."

"Ouch." Juunanagou nearly landed on top of the long-suffering fighter. Why was he here? Why hadn't he brought his wallet? Why was he_ still_ here?

"Well. You two seem to be getting along just fine. When's the wedding?"

"As though the same doesn't go for you. I see six kids in your future. Short noseless children. You name one of them after me, and of course he's the best and your favorite."

"Please. You're the one that spends time with him. You two will be the ones adopting six kids. God knows I don't want them. Or him. _Especially_ him."

"At least you two aren't trying to talk in code anymore." Optimism always came to him, even in despair. Like so much else, it was probably Goku's influence.

"Zero one. Zero Zero one."

"Oh, knock it off."

It had crept back again, the fundamental difference, what the androids were beneath the skin and jokes, and how they'd all met. No matter how they might relatively ignore the discomfort that they should sit, or lay there, and talk about things like the weather and make jokes about who would get struck by lightning first should one of them leave the safety for the van and decided to run through the woods.

"You know that stuff doesn't matter, right? Not really. Deep down? It doesn't have to really change who you are." The length that separated them, that he was the only one here with a proper name, of his constant juggling with the fact of what they'd been through and how to approach someone that had lost their identities. How they hated pity that might be all he could offer. Together laughing at his attempts at empathy and friendship until they dragged his pouting form back to torture some more.

"He doesn't have to haunt you."

Krillin looked at the floor, at the shadows cast from the three of them. Tracing them, and realizing anew how similar Juuhachigou and Juunanagou were. Their dark shapes were all the same height. "One of you is grabbing my butt, and I don't think it's the person I want it to be."

"It probably isn't."

**435. ****You're the Only Proper Noun I Need**

Juuhachigou nudged him over to his apparent designated half of the bed, both still smiling and sweaty. Krillin had rarely seen anything so nice as her propped up on one elbow. "So, what's your name anyway?"

"_What_?"

That delightful grin widened. "Gero has several different version of your name in my database, and I never was quite sure which was your real name."

"Oh." That was a huge relief. For a moment, he'd been afraid that he'd knocked something loose, or somehow, she'd suffered temporary amnesia. Either one wouldn't have been a huge surprise, considering his luck. "Well. I usually go by Krillin. Or Kuririn. Whichever."

"I suppose Krillin rolls off the tongue a little faster." Juuhachigou made a show of looking at her fingernails. "Makes it a little easier to yell."

"And why do you like Juuhachigou? Would you prefer for me to call you Android Eighteen?" A dangerous gleam in those pale eyes that Krillin wisely decided not to look directly into. "Just Eighteen? Or 'Hachi. Or honey. Or babe?"

"Since you've been calling me 'Juuhachigou,' for how long now…just stick with that."

"Alright_, Juuhachigou_. How often do you jump into bed with someone whose name you don't even know?"

"About as often as you,_ Krillin_."

**436. ****If You Want to See Me on My Knees**

He was thirty-three years old, as well as magically in his nineties. There was no other explanation for this. Simple sit-ups, ones he did every day, had somehow been his undoing. Now he couldn't even make it safely down the stairs from the pain of this hernia.

Instead, he rolled around his bed, cursing karma and fate and his bad luck.

He'd survived Garlic Junior coming back, then the androids, then Cell. Only to find his body giving out over working out. Incredibly depressing. He moped and clutched his organs so they wouldn't pop out any further.

His roommates offered support in the form of dirty magazines ('you're already just lying there'), and would bring terrible food as none of them could cook well. Mostly though, Krillin was alone, and undistracted.

Leaving him there to contemplate his mortality.

He'd always been so afraid of dying. Carried that weight around for years, that fear. But what if he wasn't violently killed again, along with his friends? What if he actually stayed on this planet long enough to age? And what if this was just the beginning of his body slowing down, betraying him?

So, given his usual state as the galaxy's kicking bag, Krillin was hardly shocked that Juuhachigou chose this moment to pry open his window and slide in. She practically landed near him, curling up to look at him. Then poked at his unusually unenthusiastic response of just lying there.

"What's wrong with you? Besides the obvious."

Before her, Krillin was normally reduced to some state Juuhachigou had literally described as 'puerile.' Usually when he would stare too long, and with her, he would daydream and actually giggle over her comments and hate himself and love her all the more for this. Now, there were no blushes or stammering, and he was no longer such a pathetic excuse of a man with a crush on a woman that didn't seem to reciprocate much.

But was he something worse, or better?

"I think I'm dying."

The blonde woman just positioned herself to look down at him. The better to take in his unshaven strained face. "Oh. Of course you are. You're human."

**437. ****I don't even know you; you're just someone new I don't want to talk to**

It was her stupid brother that dragged the fighters back into their live.

Because apparently, things were too peaceful in this small house as summer crept in, and they really needed livening up with bringing the scarred human and the noseless and strange weaklings into this warm place.

Her brother disregarded all of her complaints that had been formed the second she'd stepped out of her room, dressed in what felt way too casual—she wanted armor, no, better to look like she didn't care-to be stared at by the ridiculous supposed-warriors. 'Retired,' she would soon learn, another day in the new future of their endless presence.

"We met at a car show." Said with a hand wave, friendly, and she'd lost inspiring fear in that man.

And given the _dreamy_ look Krillin was giving her, hand also raised and seemingly forgotten, Juuhachigou was no longer able to control him through intimidation; there would be a different weapon she would have to wield and it was one she refused to ever touch again. "Your brother nearly ran us down in a stolen car."

But that did not deter them. Neither of them, somehow. Not even when she'd threaten to run Yamcha through, as he'd feared before.

Maybe Juunanagou desensitized them.

It was something that occurred to her, as slow blossoming as the flowers of wherever-the-hell-they-were, as she felt herself blinking so slowly, somehow outside her house and holding a fishing pole, hating algae, the hum of dragonflies nearby. Hating that she was watching the sun actually rise. Laughing when her hook caught on Krillin's ear, and discovered she was better at catching fish than her brother.

Juuhachigou hadn't known she was even capable of getting headaches until she found herself, dead-eyed, shoveling wooly cereal, sitting beside a staring Krillin, and Yamcha, who had figured out how to pause and record TV shows and made them all suffer through his baseball games over and over again. Until she knew the actual rules of the baseball games, _scores_, until she could only wish a slow death onto her twin for this, until Krillin began to bug her about not eating at the table he'd specifically cleared for her.

Aspirin did nothing for her, that was also a new discover. As was learning how much she hated bowling shoes, and margaritas were strong enough, that Vegeta's son was almost as terrible as his father when babysat, that Krillin sounded even worse when singing, that there was truly no punishment that she could bestow onto Juunanagou that would even approach the mental anguish of these past few days, no week. Weeks. Months?

Were the leaves falling off that tree, and not because of the usual damage they all caused to their surroundings?

Her feet slid off the chair in front of her. The eggs, coated in tomato sauce as neither her brother nor Yamcha could cook. Given the recently cleared space, Juunanagou finally sat down, glaring at her.

"Krillin. What day is it?"

"Tuesday?" He held up her half of the laundry, carefully sorted from her brother's. "You want me to iron this shirt?"

**438. ****Were It Not Kinder, Her Black Eye Would Be Darker **

There was too much stupidity to parse right this second, but fighting the androids was so idiotic, it had to be the worse idea he'd ever had. This was Juuhachigou, who had beaten up a Super Saiyan and could crush his spine with her little finger and nary a second thought,_ and_ this wasn't even a real tournament _and_ the cash money wasn't worth the complete loss of dignity as he was beaten up by a woman that looked misleadingly skinny.

But she had pushed him first and called him a wimp and asked rhetorically if he was even a fighter, but of course he wasn't since he was so weak and pathetic and she could just close her eyes and practically shut down, because he could never lay a single hand on her, in any way, wasn't that right, poor little chestnut, no wonder you're still single. Staring at her nails rather than him. How could you even think I'd like a guy that can't defend himself or throw a single punch? Come on, you pathetic worm, I'm closing my eyes, and you don't even have the courage to swing at me, how could anyone ever respect you?

Implying such things, such horrible things that made his hands ball up, and shame and frustration to raise his ki, and before he knew it, Krillin was almost preparing to punch the woman he loved in a sick attempt to impress her and win her heart. What the hell was wrong with him? To even think about taking a swing at Juuhachigou, for so many reasons? Just look at her, expecting him to take the abuse and not even thinking of him as a threat, knowing that she would win easily.

Just standing there, eyes closed, that smirk, and Krillin could have kissed her.

Could have leaned in even closer, and properly expressed how he felt in the way he wanted, with affection than meaningless violence, and he stood there, too close, closer, eyes wide and solemn, seeing only the planes of her face, the smug beautiful smile and sharp nose and dark lashes that fluttered and separated to take in whatever pathetic state he was in, and watch Juuhachigou do what he couldn't: punch the person before them in the face.

**439. ****To Make You Feel Smittener With My Sad Picture of Girl Getting Bitterer**

Juunanagou just laugh and dismissed all of what she'd said as nothing more than a joke. His only honest reaction was a slight wrinkle of disgust as she began going into detail over her growing obsession.

Rather than lock her up, slap her, talk sense into her, he simply handed her the bottle of bourbon, reminded her of the location of that small pink house, and gave her his blessing.

**440. To Surprise You on Your Twenty-First Birthday**

It's stupidly elaborate, dangerous, and dependent on everyone getting along for once in their damn lives.

Dependent on her not killing any of her captors, even as she sat here, feeling the bruises, aware of her torn clothes (which someone better reimburse her for), hair nearly mussed as Goku's had been, and somehow tied to a chair. All this after having fought both the Namek until another insane scientist had used a modified emergency shutdown controller on her-complete with mad cackling.

Unaware then of their ultimate plan as she fumed, hearing Vegeta's taunting as he threatened to finally murder her after Bulma had thrown her into the back of the capsule car. His insults interspersed with Bulma bragging about her invention, as someone unknown drove recklessly through traffic by the sound of it. She'd been so certain that they'd all gone insane (or _sane_ rather) and had finally decided to take care of her while Krillin turned his back. Telling herself that it might be something she would have done if their roles were switched. And she had taken it in stride, knowing that at least this was still better than being absorbed by Cell.

Aware now of the others laughing at whatever expression is on her face.

But it is only after she has finally got feeling back in her limbs and was able to tear off the blindfold to see the real person she had to blame and punish for all this.

Complete with a ridiculous party hat that most of the others also wear. Vegeta in particular looks disturbing in such a thing, even as he tried to ignore the eschewed thing as he shovels down more pasta salad and refuses to acknowledge anyone's existence. The others wear them with more grace, and the kids were already opening the presents for her, ignoring their mothers' warnings of punishment. It is still a shocking feeling, to see these people around her, especially when they smile and don't wish death on her; perhaps more surprising to smile back at them and wish the same.

She didn't need to count the candles, given the large one in front that spelled out the numerals.

"I don't even think it's my birthday." Then she blinked, eyes further adjusted, her own sanity returning. Or at least, what passed for it since she has met Krillin again. Astounding, to find her own hands taking the dumb shiny hat covered with sequin, and putting it on to no doubt further ruined her hair. "I don't even think I'm twenty-one."

"Well, maybe not," Krillin admits, still smiling _that_ smile of narrowed day-dreaming eyes and curled lips. "Still, it's been over a year. Your birthday must have happened during that time. Besides, Bulma already had an ID made for you with that age. So, congrats, now you can legally drink with us."

No one is more pleasantly surprised by Juuhachigou's laughter than the woman herself. "Now what will I wish for?"

**441. ****Some Place That's Far Away and Strange**

This time, Krillin felt only the slightest bit of pity for the woman. And she was a woman, no machine, he knew. She could feel, even this one, considering the fear in those same eyes. Only the clothes different from that figure he'd met on that tiny island.

The confusion on her face, so like the Juuhachigou from his time as he'd stepped out from the remains of the blown out building. Her work, all of this. Or half of it, anyway.

This time, he was able to actually use the remote, and watch all life slip from that pale blue. Stand above her, and find himself reaching for her.

Krillin knew why Trunks had brought him of all people to this timeline. To practically smell the ashes and see the bodies.

Almost touching, in this bizarre way. That he and almost certainly Bulma, cared enough to go through all this to try and convince him to change his mind about the cyborgs. Trunks had already killed Juunanagou, and waited for him. Watched with hard blue eyes, waiting.

As though this could somehow change his mind, and his heart. As though this hadn't only further cemented his decision. Juuhachigou, the Juuhachigou that Krillin knew, if never his, would never have done this. Maybe if things had been different, this blood on those hands would be hers. But it wasn't, and seeing this monster only proved how different the timelines had diverged.

But he was still here to irradiate evil, and even if it did bring a slight twinge to his chest seeing her fallen and in this state, it wasn't the right Juuhachigou. The wrong Juuhachigou. Separate, and different, and evil.

It hurt to kill her, but much less than any of the pain Krillin had experienced when facing the right Juuhachigou with this remote.

**442. ****And don't you know I'm really good at making this feel awkward.**

She'd finished setting up the contraption, but couldn't find any will to actually flick the domino and start it going. From her place behind the counter, the blonde could trace out its clear path, and there was not a single touch of excitement or interest in watching everything fall down. No matter how long she'd spent setting up the chords and stalks of celery to eventually knock over a melon on whoever walked through the backdoor (Juunanagou, who would be invited right at the exact moment). It was like setting off that bugbomb to finally kill off those wasps she'd hated and despised for so long; when it came down to it, she couldn't care much either way.

Already, was she getting depressed? Clinical? Depressed as Juuyongou after he'd gotten dumped? Manic as Gero when setting up, then like her brother after he'd played with his new toy for five minutes? Perhaps she might get a nice bout of agoraphobia that half the household suffered from? Teenage angst coming back around?

A quarter-life crisis already?

Juuhachigou was an adult. She had a non-fake ID to even prove it. Soon she would have a real job after she graduated, and a non-borrowed car to own, and an apartment with her name on the lease.

Rather than her life now.

Of waking up, say, on the couch of her house she lived in with way too many people, this old house of crumbling masonry in the middle of nowhere that was impossible to heat. Waking up after a night in front of the TV, or coming back too drunk to find her own bedroom in the maze that was the basement stuffed with walls made of wood or piles of junk and the half of that rusted car that Juunanagou had made his nest. Wake with a crease in her cheek, aware of her the rest of her life. Maybe somehow would be in the kitchen, making a racket, and if Gero was home, he would begin screaming at them all for being ingrates, ungrateful pigs that ate too much and used too much electricity, had they seen this bill, and who would have to pay for this?

If she had the sense of mind, she might run out or hide behind that couch or under her too-small bed. Fight her way under that bed, next to scratched CDs and warped records, stuffed with old shoes and torn notebook paper and always a spilled container of nail polish that was still somehow sticky, all better than going behind the couch filled with other people's unmentionables that could only be safely and sanely described as 'junk.'

Like the others. Especially when money was brought up. Such a reoccurring experience that they were all very good at it. Hide-and-seek games around here could get very intense, in fact; Juugogou was still currently missing from a game two days ago.

There would be a neat apartment. One or two bedrooms, depending on how she felt about her twin when looking for a place. She could close her eyes in this empty store, and ignore the smell of tomatoes, and see it all laid out in simple modern design. Her couch would have edges and no stains or burn marks from her falling asleep with a cigarette only to wake with a small fire going- to be blamed on one of her relations: the only one that was actually related to her through blood as no one would believe that Juunanagou wouldn't set a fire inside after witnessing him doing that very thing so many times.

A small car, constantly vacuumed out that wouldn't smell of Funions and burning and dirt. There would be wild animals kept inside or potted plants and suspiciously lumpy rolled rugs and not a single container of shockingly expensive bags of manure that Juurokugou brought from his job….Though, admittedly, they did have a ridiculously lush garden for being surrounded by miserable plots of dead land.

Then the bell hanging over the door rang.

He was back again, and she cursed and felt blessed for not having Juunanagou at her side. For once.

With him literally came light. Glowing, bathed in ethereal light, nearly blinding her with that shiny bald head. Had he gotten shorter? "Hi."

And she could say it then, for once, say back to him, "Hi."

Not exactly a wellspring, but still he was smiling back, and there were fireworks going off in her head. None of it was truly pleasant, Juuhachigou understood,_ clinically_. Obsessive manic depressive with OCD that would never leave her house again because of the anxiety of…a boy saying hello to her.

The little things Juuhachigou had to cling to right now. At least she was sober and not egging houses at three in the morning on a school night. At least it hadn't been snowing out that would inevitably send her falling repeatedly to the ground, right, at least her ass didn't feel broken from falling fifteen times. At least she no longer had those braces, so slowly, finally, removed when she'd _been_ fifteen. At least she felt tall enough to yes, be an adult, and had outgrown that training bra and knew that he blushed when she looked at him for too long.

Since she kept doing that.

A dumb, idiot that looked like a boy, but was actual a full grown adult man that stared at her too much, a creep, but one that she stared right back towards, and not in the unsettling, unblinking way she and her brother did to disturb babysitters when they'd been children. Well, _probably _not that way.

Juuhachigou had never known but intellectually, what people had meant when they talked about sexual tension or something as childish as a crush. And by the time she was able to disengage her actions and wonder why she wanted to pull his ears, rip them right off, and then repeat kissing him on that cheek, repeatedly kiss him all over his dumb

At least she knew his name, unlike some of her other crushes where they'd had personas that now physically gave her pain to remember.

Her book. Where was her book that she'd brought just for this purpose.

His hand was half-frozen and possibly stuck to the can of soda. Too busy prying it off to notice that she wasn't staring him down for once. Juuhachigou, sitting there, her book hiding her face because she was too busy with her own life to pay attention to this short dweeb.

("short and weird looking and with that dumb smile and why was he even bald and why did he dress that way and why am I still talking about him?" "dunno. maybe you like him? pass the funions.")

Normally Krillin got only the nerve-racking stare now. Could she be coquettish and smile and flirt and hold contact without throwing something at him or biking to his house, precariously holding a large carton of eggs in the basket.

Her stare. She had the palest eyes, sometimes commented on, to make her sneer, and was he brave or dumb to keep coming back here?

She stared at her book. When had she forgotten how to read? What language was this book even in, it was all swirls, and how loud was she breathing right now, exactly?

Coming back to her, stepping carefully over her dumb, dumb trap that she'd set up, was he understanding the slightest glance as she sat here and tried not to fall off the rickety stool. Because he was smiling, and she was a sap, Juuhachigou was flailing and it was horrible and all in her head. Cringing interiorly, wanting to almost apologize for what she'd done to his friends. As small talk. To break the ice. Because that's how you talked to guys, you reminded them that you'd frightened his friends when nearly killing them on a whim and perhaps reminded him that you could run him down as she nearly had on that road, at any time as well.

Because that worked out so well the last time she'd said that.

Well. He was back. That weirdo sap. This nutjob creep with the crush on her for _nothing._ How strange and dumb quietly sweet enough to lure her in and had weakened her in some way. Stabbed her and left her to bleed out and because this Juuhachigou that had to be breathing too loudly. She was illiterate and had shaky sweaty hands and kept staring, and was a mouthbreather, that's what he'd done to her.

What the hell was wrong with her face? Why was he looking at her like that?

Now she had to ring up his purchase

Krillin nearly dropped his soda, and it took actually courage to make eye contact and walk up to her. Therapy. She needed therapy and to lock herself in her room and never leave, no matter how much Juurokugou told her to get up and Gero screamed that she had a job to do and the store was her responsibility now get up or Juurokugou will overturn the bed.

Real grit was required from, Krillin had to grit his square jaw, to not run out but actually pay for his drink. Then they had to play their parts and act casual. They were in a play no one would want to watch, and neither had a script. Never before was she so conscious of both their hands and feet. Why were they so _there_ and so weird looking? Hers were, anyway. His were neat, and should be smacked away if they got too close.

I think I'd like to hold your hand. If you ever knew, I'd have to kill both of us.

"You know, you come in here every day at the same time."

Accusing him of being a stalker. That's how Juuhachigou worked her charm.

The smart thing would have been to shrug and act normal. Or come up with a joke about caffeine addiction, or maybe even flirting a little by saying he was here to sightsee. Anything but something that would make Krillin yell, "I'm just here to get a drink!"

"You're here for something anyway."

Ball in his court.

Oh, god, why had she let the ball go in his even-more-awkward court?

No, oh, no, pass it back. Never give up any advantage.

"Juuhachigou? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm just shocked that you're actually using your words rather than just staring at me and drooling. When did you learn to speak? Have you been taking lessons? Good for _you_."

"Well! You need to take lesson on proper customer service!"

Service. Oh god, that phrase was now embedded. This is pretty much literally a scene from a porno now. 'You want _proper customer service_? Come around the counter and see what service I can provide.' It was quite possibly the most perfect moment in her stunted sex life thus far. So of course it was wasted entirely, and would only be used later, when she was alone and behind a locked door.

Now all she could do was stand there and have a brief fantasy (and really, really, there were video cameras that worked periodically, and it was safer this way). While Krillin continued to air grievances rather than drop his pants.

"And I never drooled!"

"You think I didn't notice—and you're always here! Why can't you get your awful soda somewhere else? You have the worst taste."

"Yeah! Yeah, I do! In women!"

Yep. Fuck, why had he said that aloud, to her. _Why_? "Then why are you here? Did you just admit you're here to drool over me?"

"No! Especially not now."

"Oh, because you have some_ many_ other women just desperate for your company?"

"Anywhere would be better. With anyone. No one is as mean as you! You're completely heartless and cruel for no reason. Why did I even like you, when you treat me like this?"

Another person might have crumbled, rather than reaching for the baseball bat kept under the counter. "Then get out! You think I like having you here? Why would _anyone_?"

"I'm never coming back here again! Not ever!

"…so_ fine_!"

She could only blink, having drifted such a great distance in such a short time. She even stood taller, closer to Krillin, to better tower over him and yell. Why was the holding this baseball bat? "What?"

"I thought you were going to say 'fine' and then—never mind! I'm leaving. Hopefully this soda won't explode all over me like the others ones I buy here. Yeah, even your soda sucks!"

"I hope you choke on your soda!" Screamed at his small back that went through the hugely loud door.

Innuendo just writhing in death throes on the floor.

My god, what had happened. Why the fuck was she still holding this bat? It was already splintering. Thankfully, she had brought that book to rest her forehead on rather than the sticky counter. The longest conversion they'd ever had too. And she hadn't even expected it to go this badly. Her textbook wasn't enough to properly do damage, no matter how hard Juuhachigou hit herself with it. A bottle. She needed a bottle and a brick to do some serious damage because that bat wouldn't handle a damn thing. Her brother would ask how her day went too, and if she'd seen her stalker around, and then she could roll around on the floor, groaning, like usual, and Juunanagou would never understand the full extent of this disaster. Now it would just be the real weirdoes that would come in and attempt speaking to her.

In her thirties. She would be in her thirties before she tried flirting with someone, that just settled it. God help _that _guy. From now on, just go back to ignoring and mocking all customs of dating like before. Act perfectly asexual and ignore any and all reminders of Krillin, because that had been serving her so well before. _Serving_. That word was so ruined now.

And now someone was coming in to buy cigarettes, because that's what she needed right now, to deal with_ customers_ and—Juuhachigou took the book away from her bruised head. Given herself a concussion. Stroke. Hallucination brought on by crazed hormones. No, those would be a kindness. Of course Krillin had come back. He was too polite not to apologize for insulting the store's selection of soda. And the way his clothes were stained purple as she'd only previous wondered about.

Staring at each other, and quietly.

Juuhachigou put the book down. "I've been shaking the grape sodas."

"Yeah, I got that."

"Even the ones in back."

"You planned it very well."

Don't ask why. Do not even dare it, Krillin. Please. Had he complimented her on his ability to mess up his afternoon?

"There's some paper towels over there."

Now she was going to make him buy his own paper towels for her sabotage.

"Thanks. No, I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. Really, I don't know what got into me. I shouldn't have said that. That was terrible of me. You're not heartless. Of course you wouldn't want some weird guy coming in here."

"You're not that bad."

"I can be." Full frontal eye contact.

"All you've done is buy some soda. And I still found a way to mess that up."

Krillin shrugged. _Smiling_. What happened to make her go from the woman that rolled her eyes at that to trying not to sigh loudly and feeling her knees go weak over that. He was just standing there, purple-stained and smiling, and it was completely doing it for her. "It was kind of funny, actually."

Now, this was going better than she would have thought. Yeah, this was a good moment. Clicking. Going right into the fantasy bank for later. Why get her thrills messing with him, and watching him laughing and enjoying his brief company? Because it was just in her nature, biological and beyond her control, a certain type that she couldn't change, not her fault. _Because _he was fucking hot and adorable, with a sexy hideous laugh, and dumb ears and she could do terrible things to that body, yeah, that was right, and she could state it mentally in his presence.

Because he was a hot adorable _gentlemen_. Someone that could laugh and forgive. Not really a pervert either.

"'Course, you_ could_ make it up to me."

"I have a bat right here, you know."

"Uhhg! I just meant, you know, we could go somewhere. With soda that hasn't been shaken. Together."

Juuhachigou still wasn't sure if he was trying to get into her pants, and wondered why she might try to dissuade him. "What?"

"When you get off shift, we could, um, maybe catch dinner? Or a movie. Or both. Dunno." He was looking away, cheeks already flushed. Grabbing at his neck and looking everywhere but at her. "Dunno if you would be interested in any of that."

"Alright. Right now."

"Now? Really? You don't have to stay here. Really?"

"Hm, please. C'mon." Oh, so satisfying to grab his shirt, and he could never know how she peaked at his chest and felt her own heart go into cardiac arrest at the contact as she dragged him outside. "And I'm not going to see any dumb romantic comedies either. Don't make me regret leaving the bat behind."

Krillin looked like she really had hit him a few times. "Piranhacano 3D it is. You're not going to lock up? Uh, you're going to rip my shirt. Is it okay to leave the store open like that?

"Juuhachigou?

"It's called 3D, not just because you have to wear those glasses, but it's also the third one. I don't even think the special effects are very good, but where else can you see a volcano exploding out piranhas?"

"And in 3D nonetheless."

Juuhachigou was utterly inspired that her smiling back at him could make grin. So there was some benefit to liking a guy less comfortable in his body than she was. Plus, really, those arms of his. What did the rest of him look like under that shirt? Why did he even have to bother with sleeves, no matter how dumb being sleeveless might look on him.

"_Juuhachigou_."

She forgave him for that physical contact when Krillin stopped her from walking right into a telephone pole, and he was kind enough to not mock her for being so distracted by him.

**443. ****I seem to find myself with the craziest of dames **

**They get the ball on me,**

**I do forget the chains**

Krillin couldn't entirely believe it was a date, but what else could it be considered? Sitting here, if separated by the span of this hospital room, exchanging personal information and laughing, how many dates went something along those lines?

He put his hands behind his head before he could check whether or not they shook. "How old are you?"

"By the years on this planet?" Orange perfect eyebrows came together in thought. "Around two-hundred years, I believe."

"…you're _how_ old now?"

She laughed, wincing at the pain but still holding that grin. Bandages and all, Zangya was stupidly attractive. Sometimes, he'd see her, and almost want to squeal at her like she was a small puppy. Between the accent, and the hair, and really, her voice, Krillin was smitten.

"Zangya. That's not your name though, is it?"

"It was not the name I was born with, no. And you, how old are you Earthling?"

Not in so many years had he felt so _young_. As though he were thirteen, and about to fight in his first tournament, so conscious of how tall others were. "Um. In my thirties."

Different from any other woman in his life, this dumb schoolboy feeling. No, it was familiar to what he'd experienced before. Hardly even a teenager, and stricken by dark blue eyes, her pretty name, and not yet understanding what craziness a crush might do to him. Maybe like Maron, though of course Zangya was a hundred times more dangerous, and so much easier to talk to.

He could almost forget straight blonde hair in exchange for that orange curly neat-mess.

Too straight pale hair that would fall into her eyes and have to be swept back by a pale hand. Not blue in the least.

Should he just admit it? What he'd been thinking, when he saw any woman, when was always there in the back of his mind? Go ahead; think about her and focus on the differences, that there are blue eyes and blue eyes, and who was taller (Zangya) and who had more curves (Zangya) and who was possibly prettier (Juuhachigou).

Oh, but why even compare the two? Both were dazzling women, strange and untouchable, and neither would be interested in him in any way. Juuhachigou had turned and left, and never returned, despite her offhand remark that she would see him later. Later. How much later? How much longer?

Both were aware of his wretched ill-fitting crushes.

But Zangya laughed it off. Would tease him over his stares, and seemed so curious, so quick to joke and play off any discomfort or fear of her new life.

But this is still the woman that had sat there (and Krillin had seen the footage after all, and heard the others talk of it) while Gohan was tortured and had helped her friends hurt his own, with all intentions of allowing it.

Not even Juuhachigou and Juunanagou had done that.

Krillin could remember that, and hang onto that, hold it as a talisman.

**444. ****Who Do You Carry The Torch For, Young Man? Do You Carry It Around Just To Burn Things Down?**

She had never known it, this rage.

It was only so rarely mentioned in the files that Gero had programmed into her. Only scarcely touched on, snippets of videos of him when fighting, only mentioned briefly in passing, and then hidden with the information that he tended to forgive not as easily as Son, of his meager strength, of his sensitive nature and jokes meant to comfort himself and others, of his techniques and weaknesses.

And even when fighting Cell, Juuhachigou hadn't fully understood it. Not even that anger on his round face as he'd stepped out to confront her.

He was Krillin, Kuririn, and prone to outburst of hysteria or laughter, not anger.

She would have thought she'd be the angrier one, and that was true in general, but not now.

_Now_ is this crumbling world and the taste of copper in her mouth that reminds her of something she cannot say. _Now_ is the stickiness in her hair that she cannot wipe away as it slides down her forehead and into her eyes and turns her vision red since she cannot blink.

She is alive and still aware. This time, it is different than the before, the remote had been modified by that smirking worm of a scientist, that _doctor_. The weakling. If he hadn't snuck up as she'd been so distracted with Krillin, with his laughter as they found each other again, as he told her what had happened to the others and that everyone was alright…

"What did you do to her?"

But this is the man that had fought Vegeta after watching his friends die, and had almost stabbed the Saiyan in the back.

It should not be such a surprise to find him prepared to save her once again. This side that he might hide and repress and be scared away by others stronger, but it is still there, no matter how Krillin might pretend otherwise as he grabs the other man's neck and says a ridiculous threat that they all believe he is capable of, regardless.

Nor is it a shock to find herself pissed at being in such a state, the anger a welcome reprieve.

Even as he frees her from another cage and finds himself facing her now, not a cringing non-warrior, but a person that holds his own life in her arms, both feeling the electricity. A fighter that could pull his guts out, and make him see them in her hands, red and black. A cyborg created for death and his death partially in particular. A woman.

His shoulders in her hands. Eyes soaking in the blue of her power. A wince on his round face that she knew so completely it would be all Juuhachigou could see. Meaningless, all of this.

"Did you think I need you to protect me? You, of all people?"

"Juuhachigou. _C'mon_. That's not fair."

"Does it make you feel like a real man, for once? Do you think I _need you_?"

Krillin wretched away, his own ki rising, acting like he'd already forgotten about the literal blood still staining his own hands. "Sometimes, everyone needs help. That's all."

**445. ** **You Seemed To Be In Love With Me, Which Isn't Very Realistic **

It took too long, but eventually, Bulma managed to figure out where she went wrong.

From there, she assured everyone, it was just finding out how to fix it.

"I'll make a second controller. Just wait and see. Then we'll be able to pry Juuhachigou off him, and hose her down with the garden hose outside. Then him."

"Eugh."

These blue eyes were filled with compassion, as they were in whatever timeline. Though, normally, his own mother tended to only show such pity when seeing the destruction the androids had wrought through their own dying world. "Sorry about the details, Trunks. But you spent time in the future, with them killing everything. At least she isn't breaking his neck. Yet."

It wasn't like his mother had even been _exaggerating_. Juuhachigou did look to be hanging onto Krillin way too tightly. He would change colors with alarming frequency, and Trunks was reminded of the rumors of her flirting before murdering another innocent person. A frightened, cowering man, usually on the shorter side-God, had she a type? Was there a reason, a string of logic to this madness?

For all her supposed kindness towards Krillin, those eyes could immediately turn that steel and ice. "Stop watching, perverts. Bring my brother back if you want an android to make out with. He did say he liked your purple hair."

Trunks wanted to shave his head immediately.

But then, look at where that had led Krillin.

"Juu. Juuhachigou. C'mon. You have to get off me." He didn't sound alarmed in the least, and the half-Saiyan was disgusted and disappointed in him. Hadn't he been there, for the warnings, and to watch this machine beat up him and his father? Krillin had even been there when she and her twin and the third android (who, admittedly, might not be that bad and was apparently defective in that way) had arrived to challenge Goku to a fight. They would have murdered him, if the tall man had been there.

"What if I don't want to?" Her voice was husky, and Trunks nearly dry-heaved while Bulma shook her head with a grimace.

Krillin was holding her hands, keeping them off his chest or neck. Smart. "After the remote is fixed. Oh, who am I kidding? You won't want to even look at me after. In fact, I don't think I'll be able to be around you again, because you'll snap my neck the next time we meet."

The shorter fighter looked distraught, for perhaps the wrong reason. "But it's the right thing. I know it is."

"Mom._ Bulma_. Would you please get started?" So we can end this. One way or another.

"Snap your neck? That seems a waste. And why wouldn't I want to see you again? I happen to like looking at your ridiculous face."

"Why?"

As though he didn't know, as though hoping he didn't know.

"It's attached to a nice body. Plus that mouth." She was doing terrible things with her finger. To his face. "You have that_ tongue_."

Nearly everyone but the androids suffered a short stroke.

"I can't tell which part of that was crazier." Krillin sounded distant, remote, as he looked towards the window. Such a nice clear day that didn't reflect the mood in this room. There should have been a hurricane in a tsunami with houses being picked up and carried off to disorienting heights. Only to fall and crash on the orphans and puppies and, well, Krillin.

"And I like the way you look at me." Disturbing, as well, how the machine could sound almost sincere, amused and affectionate. Smiling at him, eyes turned up, as though she didn't have programming and parts installed by a mad men. Finger still on his face, tracing his cheek, acting like she couldn't crush his head with one hand and no effort.

"Um. Guys." Bulma had turned the blueprints around again. "You know. I think I have to make another device to turn things back on. See, what I did turned off the emotion inhibitor. It's right by this little switch here, basically identical to the one that should turn her off."

Juuhachigou was the only one quite okay with that arrangement. "Hm. No wonder I feel so much better. Now, how about we go make me feel even _better_, Krillin?"

"Make another controller, Mom," Trunks ordered.

A tear-eyed Krillin had to nod, not looking at anyone but Juuhachigou even now. "…make another controller, Bulma."

**446. ****Disagreeing About Sexual Tension**

With one push, and Juuhachigou eyes were widening, impossibly blue, meeting his for a brief second before her fist flung out and nearly knocked his jaw off, sending him flying apart from her as she hadn't wanted for the past few hours.

"What _the hell wa_s_ that_?"

Bulma had already dropped behind her desk.

Before Krillin could join her, the android had cornered him. Already, he was bleeding. "It's not—I wasn't-Miss Juuhachigou! Please. Oh, _please, no, I'm sorry_."

Trunks had to physically move between them, as he hadn't dared do before. "You don't remember anything, android?"

She ignored him, reaching around Trunks to claw at Krillin, nearly taking out an eye. "_You_."

The half-Saiyan watched Bulma pop up to watch the show. "And I thought Vegeta was moody." Then she winced when Juuhachigou darted around Trunks, and Krillin really had no chance to run away from her. Even going Super Saiyan only moderately made it easier to pull the blonde machine off the short human who pleaded for mercy.

"Don't hurt anyone, Juuhachigou! Don't you remember what happened?" Sweaty, bruising and cuts unclotted, Krillin was still trying reason.

Then Trunks had to close his eyes when Juuhachigou tried to break his nose.

"Juuhachigou!"

The face of nightmares. The face of a machine before she destroyed another city, went on another rampage. They should have killed her. Distracted her with Krillin, and killed her. Trunks' sword, dented from the last time he fought her, was somewhere in Capsule Corp, and would have been the right weapon to use. Justice, finally. "The last thing I remember is_ you_ using that emergency shutdown controller!"

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did! You think I don't remember you jumping out behind a rock with that thing!"

"Well. It wasn't an shutdown controller. Tell her, Bulma."

What little of the bright hair that could be seen was shaking. "Leave me out of this."

"Bulma. Bulma. You have to explain things…"

She had lapsed into talking to herself, as he'd seen his own mother do so many times as she tinkered with the unfixable. "I don't even want to use that controller again. Even if it a little easier to deal with her when she only wanted to have her way with Krillin."

"_What_?"

When Trunks finally tossed Juuhachigou meters away, Krillin had to rush after and check on her, and of course her response for that kindness was another attempt at murder. "_What did you do to me_?"

"Either way, it's bad."

**447. ****Your Robot Heart Is Bleeding**

"This is all the fever."

She could hear him from far away, and had to press her forehead into his shoulder, seeking even moderately coolness.

"Really, Bulma, Missus Briefs, I'll collect them. She's sick, you see. So what if she tried to lead some of those cleaning robots outside? Maybe she though they needed air? She said something about equal rights for them? Um.

"A rebellion, isn't that a little harsh a word for it? Okay. Maybe she did arm them. But it was the fever. It's not like they stabbed anyone. Except for Vegeta. But he's fine."

"She's not going to bring about the end of humanity, you know.

"Not anymore."

**448. **

_Lux aeterna luceat eis, Domine, _

_O Lord_

_cum sanctis tuis in aeternum, _

_quia pius es. _

_Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, _

_et lux perpetua luceat eis, _

_cum santis tuis in aeternum, _

_quia pius es._

_**Mozart's Requiem—Communion**_

Juuhachigou walked through the remnant of the city, weighed down by the blood and dust on her clothes, and everything she'd seen. Had it been a week? Seven days, if there were such things here?

No one saw her.

Not anymore.

Their eyes hadn't been the same milky blue of her and her brother, of the other androids. Or the dark eyes of the fighters on Earth, browns and greys that were nearly black, or blue of the Briefs woman and her child and that nameless young man who had fought her by those mountains.

They were a terrible green. Pupil-less. darker than grass, darker than the green that Saiyan's eyes could become. They had seen and watched the others passing. Had there been fear on what passed as their faces, or surprise, or disbelief or disdain? Did certain streaks of silver mean anything in particular, or were they this race's version of freckles? Or scars? The crumbling buildings dark with ash hid whoever remained.

Juuhachigou kept moving, waiting to hear the ship take off (would it make enough noise?), waiting as she had so many times

Krillin, telling her of timelines and of ridiculous lilac haired boy wielding swords and what she and her brother had done.

And she had thought that she and her brother were inhuman, but now she saw the truth. Form as function, as she'd once sneered at Krillin for believing. They were human, too human, metal pieces and inability to age and the ability to know fear and to laugh and have fun and yes, yes, had she not been hurt when he'd turned away from her, after seeing what she'd done to whatever this race might be named?

She had wanted to cup his cheek, as her sensors told her of the slightest pain in her fingers from the acid in the alien blood, _But they were going to hurt you _and what was that, if not human? Absolution and shame and simple pleasure of seeing his smile to know he was okay, seeking comfort

and now this stabbing feeling in her stomach coming again

Feeling electricity in her fingers, and _we could rule this place, if it were anything worth ruling_

_if only my brother were here_

This hate she had, for these panicked aliens that had attacked, her hate for the Saiyan Prince and his woman and the way they fought and fucked too loudly, and the angry teenager with his dumb name and glares, and the two children thankfully back on Earth that were doted on and her idiotic lost brother and_ him_ most of all for bring her here and for his stories and jokes and gleam in dark eyes and his laughter and blushes and

_Him_, that had burrowed into her skin and left her weakened. So eager to forgive and sit near her and talk, the balm of his gaze between the hate from the other two men and Bulma's irrelevance. How she hated and could be comforted by certain pairs of dark eyes and a pairs of blue eyes.

Would Krillin come find her? Would he leave her behind? The two sides to him in battle: a coward who hated to fight and the fighter that used guile and tricks and could have the worst smirk she'd ever seen on a human. Things she knew about him, that she had no right to possess knowledge of, fights she'd never seen, his voice saying things that weren't meant for her ears.

Remembering lying in the sun, of peace. These brief moments.

She seemed too young, given her absence of memories, the face she saw back in the mirror, to feel so tired. Older, if still physically untouched by time. A hundred years she might have. A thousand?

And what memories might she accumulate in such a time?

Could she wander here, for an eternity, even after the sun died and the atmosphere was further ruined and there was only blackness. Walking in a walking dream until there was nothing left to rest her feet on. Could she die, as any mortal might: by the environment.

_I don't want to die here. _

At least there was that. A flicker of at least realization that she wanted to die in _sunlight._

Better for everyone to have never been awakened in that lab. And why not? What did she have to keep her waking up in sunlight? A brother that no longer seemed to talk to her anymore. Whatever other family Juuhachigou might have had along with a name was long gone. She could even ignore the _revenge_revenge_revenge_ command that is nearly sliding from her head as though it hadn't been programmed in. Her past was gone.

Now she was…

Free?

Now Juuhachigou had what, a dead companion that had hardly existed before a meaningless death? 'Friends' that feared her and wouldn't mourn her? The mission she rejected the moment she'd been born. A _job_? That man who had wanted to be her lover, had she not so thorough ruined that so purposefully, a man that had wanted and perhaps might have offered a different Juuhachigou a home and a few dark-haired children to run underfoot? As though she had wanted any of that. Any of that obligation and chains.

_Of course I have no idea what exactly I want._

What might have been buildings a century ago on all sides. Ugly.

_But I _don't_ want this. _

Better to have just lived whatever life she might have had before Gero, no matter how short it might have been. Died before Before and After, became a fixture in her mind, when a line was drawn between her and the rest of the human race.

But when had she cared for anything altruistic, for the greater good, for the Earth? For herself, for that matter.

And really, did she want to spend an eternity in this oblivion? Had she really wanted to claim and ruin this place further, this shit planet that would have made a pathetic kingdom and playground for her and Krillin?

She had untold years to find what might grow beneath her programming. To find what she might do. She has years, and can see even in the darkness due to the machinery, and has blond hair to her shoulders and medium height in human terms and no scars and sometimes a disquieting wiggle inside her guts that no algorithms implanted will explain because Gero could not have foreseen her getting _crushes,_ of all things. If that was what that was.

His cheek pressed into her hands, and protectiveness and the urge to pull him closer and purr, and _alright, I think I might want that._ That, and to remember what it was to hunt and search, even in pale imitations. Sun, and the smell of salt.

Like any wounded animal might, Juuhachigou returned back to the nearest thing she had on this planet to a home. To a _herd_.

She was surprised by their presence, their voices and forms that were real. How weak her knees might become, looking at them.

Vegeta gave her only a sneer before turning his back.

At least Bulma looked ready to throw something at her. "You done pouting?"

Another simple thing that Juuhachigou realized was a truth, again. "Yes."

"Finally. Jeez, we're way too far off from Namek. We'll never get there on schedule. You think I like wandering around this dusty hellhole?! With my little boy at home, waiting for me? Not to mention, all this terrible traveling, it's even more boring than when we were at _Old_ Namek."

Her mate paused from his pacing to give her a look parts disbelieving and angry and shockingly amused.

"Plus it's been forever since I've taken a decent bath?"

"Oh, really." Her voice was almost her old self. "You broke a nail, is that it?"

"Oh, shut up."

"C'mon, Juuhachigou. We were waiting for you. Vegeta wanted to take off and leave you behind. And Krillin was out looking for you, for hours."

"Where is he?"

"Inside. Passed out, really."

The implication being that she'd practically knocked him out herself. As though trying to guilt Juuhachigou. Impossible to care about something so small. But she'd been telling herself something like that since before even stepping onto this planet, since waking up on that white tile with the last thing on her mind was sliding into her own death.

In that moment, outside of her own mortality (that she had not known _what to do_ for the first time ever in her short life) and panic that was endless and worse, because it _would_ end, Krillin must have been watching, and Juuhachigou wondered if he'd regretted not using that remote. Himself thrown at Cell, and repelled so easily, and looking now little like this man here, with mussed hair and perfection and warmth that she hadn't experienced since setting off on this trip. Before then.

"Juu?"

His only reaction to her presence was to wrap an arm around her, and that was enough.

Later, he would wake up, and she might have to explain a little of where she'd gone, and why she was back. But for now, Juuhachigou could live with pushing that wave of dark hair off his forehead, seeing how his mouth pursed as he dreamed of whatever went through that head, feeling the sheets and wondering how badly she was dirtying them, and whether or not to slip off to take a quick shower.

Another moment, too brief, of empty peace.

One ruined of course by that annoying half-Saiyan supposedly from the 'future,' wandering in to check on his friend. Earlier, she might have almost been afraid of being seen like this, of being around the demi-Saiyan in general and his poorly restrained anger at her very existence. "Krillin? Eugh. What are you two doing?"

Once, she might have pretended it wasn't exactly what it was, and Juuhachigou almost pitied what she had been doing rather than telling whoever looked at her like this boy did exactly how much she cared. "Shut up and leave us alone."

After all, she might as well start figuring out what she wanted.

**449. ****Found Eighteen Reasons Not To Pick Up The Phone**

Three years spent training had left him as broad as ever, stronger than ever, and his friends besides him were the same.

Yet, Krillin still breathed a sigh of relief, too loud, almost audible over Vegeta's seething cry of rage.

It was the safest thing to do, no matter what the others might have said back when that stranger with the purple hair, the new Saiyan, had arrived. Safest to not open that Pandora's Box, and simply destroy it, push it out to see, and he saw a dark box ingrained with patterns to a dead language being tipped from a boat into the black sea. Mission complete. He threw another ball of energy, almost relishing letting it fly and watching another part of the steep hills encrusted with snow come tumbling down. Not since he was a boy did he so relish his own strength, and Krillin could even holler and laugh and see his own breathe rising before itself; a reminder that he was still alive.

He watched the entire mountain side crumbling down, see the dust rising, heard Gero's dying scream as he failed to reach the androids in time and Piccolo's own blast took whatever was left of him, and the short man couldn't even feel the cold anymore, so large was his joy that they'd finally defeated the androids after all, that they'd saved the day.

**450. ****Come Share My Candy Bar, Come By On My Team**

It had started off a mean joke that went on too long, after Krillin told them, blurted out in a residue of fear and panic and smothered hope, that he still had even now, what Juuhachigou had done to him on the side of the highway. All of them had looked disturbed, that he hadn't fought, that all that had happened to him was just a simple kiss, with only Future Trunks nodding and saying that the future Juuhachigou would treat men she liked as toys. A disgusted, strange idea that made Krillin's stomach go cold.

He could only wonder what happened to those guys. What she did to them. They might have been happy. Briefly happy.

-Of course was only toying with him. Another sign of her batting the fighters around.

But it was after Bulma found out that Krillin knew he should have kept what happened to him to himself, repressed and buried it and let it manifest itself in a fear of blonde women.

"Oh, great." It sucked that she was on speakerphone so everyone could hear it. "Now Krillin's going to get a crush on her. You wanna ask her out, Krillin? Maybe ask her to dinner? Get her to switch sides through seduction?"

Leave it to Bulma to make a joke of it. A terrible joke that shouldn't have crushed him so hard. "I never said any of that!"

"Yeah, that's how we'll beat those androids: Krillin's sexual prowess."

The short fighter was doing his best not to sink into his seat and pout. "Are you done?"

"I don't think Gohan needs hear this." Chi-Chi was all disapproving while Gohan stared confused, at his friend. "I don't think any of us need to hear this."

"You can finally defeat one of our enemies. Hell, let's use him as bait."

Yamcha laughing didn't help with anything.

But Trunks speaking up, adding thoughtfully, _too_ thoughtfully, that Juuhachigou did have a fondness for guys she thought were cute, and clothes. Her two weaknesses. Things that distracted her, and did in fact serve as bait for the androids. A trap could be set.

"For real?" Yamcha was glancing over his shoulder for confirmation.

"Are we really going to do this?" Bulma's voice was serious, for once.

"Use Krillin for _bait_ for that monster? That seems highly unethical." Chi-Chi was disapproving, and Krillin had never been so glad to hear it. "On the other hand, if it saves my Gohan and gives Goku enough time to recover…"

"Hmm. Is she cute, Krillin?"

Could feel the sweat growing on his neck, sticking to his fingers when he rubbed it off fruitlessly. "Sure—no, I'm not answering that!"

"Is she?"

"Eh."

The tone in the half-Saiyan's voice made Krillin have to speak up. In defense of Juuhachigou, Kami only knew why. It was the truth after all, that she was in fact cute. Psychotic and frightening, but _cute_. Frustratingly conventionally attractive. Strange, with those pale eyes and the mechanical parts…and apparently her taste in men. Oh god. "She's pretty. Alright? If she weren't a monster—"

Oh god.

"So, you're into her. She's into you. Maybe." The scientist made it sound so reasonable.

Yamcha patted him on the back, making Krillin flinch. "Hey. You're always talking about getting a girlfriend."

"You're all insane! What, what exactly are you guys saying? You're going to just leave me somewhere, and what? What? Just think she'll change sides and be a good guy if I ask her out?"

"You'll have to do more than that." Horrifying, the grimness in Trunks' voice.

Bulma offered more advice, but not for him, "Maybe we'll tie you up beforehand."

"Gohan definitely doesn't need to hear this."

"I agree. We should all stop talking."

"Gohan, dear, cover your ears."

"Okay, we tie Krillin up to something, and leave him for the android. While she's distracted, would you guys be able to take care of the other machine?"

"There's two others, actually."

The voice on the speakerphone dropped a little. "…would Krillin work when it comes to them too?"

"Hey! The other two are guys!"

"…would it?"

"Maybe," Trunks offered, only mildly dubious.

Krillin's mind shut down, shut off, protecting itself from any images. "Oh god. This isn't funny anymore, you guys."

"So, could we offer clothes and Krillin to the girl android, as a way to convince her not to go after Goku?"

"I don't think that would be enough, Mom—Bulma. At best he might distract her while we defeat her twin."

"Twin? Juunanagou's her twin?"

"Yes. What did you think he was? At least in the future, they're siblings, but I don't see why that would have changed in this timeline. Besides, they still look alike."

"Huh. Makes sense. I thought they were dating or something, since they're so close in age." But yes, the resemblance was so clear that now Krillin felt like an idiot. An idiot that was being pushed into some horrible arrangement with the unknowing Juuhachigou. This was somehow such safer ground, to contemplate.

"So that's another bridge we've already crossed. Running out of excuses to take one for the team, Krillin." Bulma had no right to sound so smugly amused.

_Not_ safe ground. He had been walking at the tip of Earth's northern most point. Ice was swiftly cracking and would send him plunging into freezing depths: Juuhachigou's gaze.

Did she even actually like him? That kiss had purely been just a brief joke for her. Surely she wasn't_ into_ him? There was no way, for instance, that she was wherever, possibly murdering people, and gushing about her new crush on that short guy and hoping that she spotted him again. This said to her twin, while they butchered innocents. Bloodstained hands going to tuck her hair away and gesture to emphasize how cute she thought that bald one was.

"You all know this is bizarre, right? There's no way she would actually like me. That kiss was just a prank for her, really."

"Say, Trunks, what type of guys was that future version of the android into?"

"I dunno. What was found of them, when we pieced together what happened, well. They looked scared. That's all they really had in common. Maybe dark hair? If it wasn't just burnt…"

Krillin had never been so glad to have shaved his head.

But Trunks had to continue. "And maybe they did tend to be shorter…or was it that they were missing…"

Was it better or worse, to hear him trail off like that when seeing Krillin's expression?

"It won't come to that though. We have your back, man. We won't let her kill you or anything."

"Right. This is plan B, for if Goku doesn't have enough power to take on all three of the androids? You have help defeat at least one of them. If not turn her to your side. Hey, it's what I did for Vegeta. Sort of."

"I didn't need to hear that." The future version of her son was _now_ deciding to draw lines.

Yamcha agreed, "None of us needed to hear that."

Chi-Chi had her own little remark to add. "Arranged marriages used to be very popular, you know."

The world spun.

"_I have to marry her now_?!"

This was the cruelest joke that had occurred to him yet. His imagination, usually so quick to provide painful mental images, fled from him. Not even his mind could conceive of Juuhachigou in a white fluffy dress, preparing to wed him. Nearly as bad as being thrown to the wolves, in the form of the other androids, no, no, all of them were wolves.

"Well, that depends on how far you two take it. You're going to be gentleman, I assume."

"Oh my god."

"Take responsibility. Though I suppose the machine can't get pregnant."

"My god."

"Oh, Chi-Chi, I don't think she'll want to marry Krillin."

"What? 'Course she won't, c'mon, Chi."

"Yeah, Missus Son, I definitely don't see her_ marrying_ Krillin."

"She's just using you for your body. Sorry buddy. But hey, if you think she's cute…"

"I know how that is. Maybe she'll get attached. Well, if you got her pregnant with a little toaster she might tolerate living with you."

"You're all the worst! I'm not doing anything. With her. Or _any of the other androids_. Do you understand how crazy this is?"

"Alright, so what's the plan?" The blue-haired scientist's voice was crisp as she spoke over Krillin. "Tie him up, cover him with credit cards and gift certificates? Cover him only in money?"

When the others gave him considering looks, and Gohan finally pulled his hands away from his ears to help them catch him, Krillin knew the joke had gone on too long. Often he wished he were stronger, but not when faced with his friends. "Guys. Guys. This isn't funny."

And it wasn't. To any of them, given that none were smiling or laughing. Nor were they amused or amusing when they grabbed Krillin, promising him that his sacrifice wouldn't be in vein.

"Take one for the team-

"-Like I did with Bulma."

"-Like I did with Yamcha."

Showing off the brains Gohan had that were obviously from her side of the family, Chi-Chi wisely continued without a glance at silent Yamcha or the obviously seething speakerphone. "…if we could turn even one to our side, that might be enough. And would her brother attack_ her_? What if he sided with her? Then we could have two more allies, so my Goku could recover."

Trunks' hand was heavy on his shoulder. "Your sacrifice won't be in vein."

"They did turn on their Gero, and didn't murder you guys. And you keep talking about meeting a girl and getting married, before dying."

"I didn't mean that I wanted that to be the death of me!"

"She might be, anyway." There was no laughter in those blue eyes. Krillin found some odd reassurance in that grim face, despite everything. This man wouldn't have pushed him into this if he didn't think there was no other way, and no one knew the androids better. Well, maybe Krillin might considering he'd been non-painfully touched by one and held a conversation with another.

"We're going to find her. One way or another, we have to."

"Before they find us."

"You're our android whisperer, buddy." Bulma sounded confident, before continuing. "Don't make any bad jokes in front of her. Try not to sweat. Or grin that one way. Or stare. And drool. What are you wearing? That gi? Is it too late to take him shopping?"

"Yes."

"I didn't ask you Krillin."

He saw something horrible in his future. A trip to the mall, to buy Kami-didn't-want-to-know-what. Undoubtedly embarrassing. Worse than this moment right now.

"Okay, okay, what exactly do these two look like? How old? There have been some weird things showing up on the police tracker. They're probably headed for Goku, aren't they?" Bulma was already plotting things out, tracing a map….

"Let's just go to Goku's."

…Overthinking things.

"Right, that's where they're headed. We can meet them there."

The roads searched, and Krillin had never wished more for total destruction of any area. Or hoped for someone to be flying. They'd miss each other, and this could be chalked up as another joke. A really mean joke. One that the others would remind him of, should they not be all murdered by those androids.

"Is that them?"

"No."

"Is that them?"

"No."

"You didn't even look that time."

Trunks was the designated Android Hunter of the bunch, and he found them with very little effort.

Because the universe did not love nor particularly_ like_ Krillin.

How many times had he convinced himself of that fact, over and over again. He had died twice, after all, once through a broken neck by a demon, and the other time he'd been blown up by a lizard space emperor. Plus the various beating over the years, from the older monks from toddlerhood on, to nearly getting stabbed in the neck by a tiny version of a monster made from a collection of cells, some of which even belonged to himself. And had been_ gored_ once. And was an orphan.

The others were the first to see her, as he was too busy crouching and rocking himself back and forth, covering his eyes and hoping that the nightmare would end soon.

"Hm."

"Is that them? The bikers?

"No."

"The trucker-looking group in the back there?"

"No."

"They're the skinny teenagers right there…by that giant guy with mohawk?"

Her in that restaurant. Juuhachigou, sitting down and plotting their deaths, while eating pancakes with her brother. Adorable and catastrophic, and possibly still wearing that skirt.

Chi-Chi took one glance. Then another. "This isn't going to work."

Yamcha was way too blatantly looking her over. Krillin wanted to slap him, on her behalf. "Um. Perhaps we overestimated her feelings."

"Eh. I still believe in you."

"Me too, Krillin."

There was something just _wrong_ with high-fiving a ten-year-old over his chances of supposed seduction with a woman. But he would take what support he could get. Looking at his friends, Krillin could almost feel brave. Wasn't this what he wanted, after all? In so many ways?

_What if_ after all. What if. Why not?

Then he turned his head, and caught a glimpse of pale gold, and it took both Yamcha and Gohan to catch him and drag him back.

Trunks turned only slightly, when they brought him back. Though he could have ended Krillin's struggles easily, he kept his hands at his sides. "Can't blame him."

"Don't make a scene," Yamcha hissed, patting him on the back. "Look, do you want her to find you this way?"

He swallowed back his tears, as best he could. "No."

"No. This won't do. Plan B. Of…plan B."

Chi-Chi, with an oddly maternal hand, straightened his shirt. "Right. Well now that you're a mess…I suppose it makes you look braver. Say you got back from saving…destroying something? What does she hate?"

"Us?" Trunks offered.

"Tell her…tell her you hate Goku too! And you're preparing to change sides to help her. And—give her a fake address so she won't actually go after Goku."

"She won't believe any of that."

As though he could somehow sell an elaborate story. Or any story. He had been terrified enough of speaking to her (around her, really) the first time, and that was before the kiss. The Kiss. His curse and his reward, damnation and heaven. How could he even open his mouth and do anything but sputter or sigh in her presence. And then Juuhachigou would murder him. "I think we're better off telling the truth."

"Which is?"

Could have bitten his own lips off. Everyone was just staring at him. Waiting. "Oh. You _bastards_. You _know_."

"Then it won't be so bad."

"Which car is it even?"

"The police scanner said something. Something about a pink van?"

"We have to be careful about bystanders. At least they're not at a carnival. Or a circus. Or an amusement park."

They liked amusement parks? And riding around in pink vans? These were the scary androids, really? Were they running people down in those bumper cars at least?

Give me something to work with here.

Their car was right there, with a broken window and some dents. The 'how's my driving' sticker never seemed like more of a joke. A terrible, cruel joke that the androids would really only be half in on. But the fates definitely got the entire thing, and knew it was a real hoot.

No amount of pleading would do any work, he knew. The last hope of the planet seemed to rest in him, on parts that really, had never had so much relying on them. Which, oh boy, only brought forth more insecurities. What if she—no, there was no way this wasn't going to end with him dying. The simplest things such as her just not liking short guys, or brunettes or not being in the mood, or yes, even going along with things, she might kill him after wards. Trunks had admitted she was a black widow.

But then, these androids hadn't killed anyone besides Gero yet. Perhaps there was a way to stop them, to turn them, before it was too late.

When the others found them, Chi-Chi was carrying a disturbing amount of ribbon. The sack of bows in particularly haunted Krillin. He didn't need any insight to know what they were for, and didn't bother wasting any strength hoping she was just getting a start on holiday shopping.

There was not much need for words, as though they had been plotting when he'd turned his back for a millisecond.

Bulma had to twist that knife, even if she couldn't see what was going on. Yelling loudly from the speaker in the car. "Look at that, Krillin. There's an entire group of people wanting to undress you."

Krillin wept as silently as possible.

It really wasn't something Gohan should have seen, let alone participated in.

They all remembered many holiday presents so expertly wrapped, and now forever tainted.

It was a good thing Chi-Chi hadn't continued fighting much, because she might have become the next Vegeta of the group. It was those three years, maybe, living with Piccolo. And Goku.

Stripped in a parking lot, and redressed in long ribbon (orange, with blue bows, some with tiny turtles printed on them, and Chi-Chi had the_ darkest_ sense of humor) covered with bows, and he damned them all. Felt damned. All that strength and training, to rip the clothes from a man to offer him up as a sacrifice for an android. Years of technological advances, and people were still sacrificing virgins to the gods.

The pink van was a gaping maw, and he'd forgotten completely that Yamcha had been a bandit until he was jimmying the lock. Which was just to show off, because one of the windows had been shattered.

His friends were right outside. This is what they said to reassure him, while tapping gift cards onto him. They would never let anything so bad happen to him. They had promised. Trunks had sworn to help distract the other two, and even Yamcha had agreed.

And yet.

He was a gift. A giant present that he knew he should open himself, if it weren't for the fighters outside waiting for Juuhachigou to undo all his bows and ribbons and to somehow become a better person for it.

They, his ex-friends, hadn't left him his underwear, and the ribbons seemed to be loosening in the worst places.

It was very cold in that van, and did not encourage Krillin.

Now there was only waiting and trying to get comfortable, and wishing they hadn't covered his mouth so much with a giant ribbon. To plan, and figure out the right order of words when she ripped that giant ribbon from his mouth. Couldn't just sputter and beg her to help him, please, help me destroy my friends.

No, Krillin had to rationally find a sane way to announce he was back here, basically, really, naked to try and win her to his side. Tell her, look deeply into her eyes, and explain how he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. That he might be, or could very easily, fall in love with her. He was a man, as so visibly seen because of the loosening restraints, and she was a woman, and presumably, they were both into that, and might become lovers, should she give up her evil ways.

Trade you wanting to kill Goku for…sleeping with me.

No. What I offer is another path. We can be friends, and perhaps lovers. I'll teach you faith in humanity and undo all the damage that's been done to your heart. I'll show you how to love, and love is enough to help everyone. Not that I'm even sure I'm in love with you. But I want to kiss you, and your hair, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to plunge my hand into it, just like how you want to put your hand in my chest right now.

I'm so sorry! My friends are dicks and forced me into this!

At best, all I wanted was for us all to become friends! If anything, I thought your big friend was the nicest one! He liked birds! Please don't kill anyone. Besides me, because I can't go on after this humiliation.

I have a crush on you, and thought this was the best way to go about it. Hahahah.

Do you like me? I like you. I have gifts. Do they make you like me more?

Please just quickly kill me.

Krillin could hear her voice first, and that was the worst thing. Better to have her jump in and give him a heart attack. Now he had to wait, and hear her footsteps that made black roses bloom in his eyes and his stomach to clench. How the hell did she have lovely footsteps? Her voice. Ah, her _voice._

"…goddamn purple-haired moron. What type of freak just runs up and spills soup onto someone? Where the hell is that shirt?"

-I might see her undressing oh my fucking Kami and Piccolo, if Piccolo had been here this never would have happened, oh my god. Fuck. Where's Piccolo?

As she was a sane normal person, her reaction was first of shock. Juuhachigou reeled around in her seat. Wearing a plain white t-shirt that could have knocked a steadier man over, soup stain and all, and the flash of ankle made him keel over the other way. You could practically see the questions blitzing through her head, especially as she slid over the white bars to take him in better. And/or to kill him.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Then she saw the state of his clothes.

"What…what happened?" Then she saw the gag.

"…Are those gift certificates?" Then Juuhachigou was moving forward, lifting herself with a cat grace over those bars, curious and eyes_ alive_. So quick to come to whatever conclusion and respond, and every movement he watched as a starving man might stare at a full course meal. Crouching besides him, smiling, flicker of eyes and her hands shadows in her gloves. Leaning in.

Krillin had to begin squealing over that. Coming closer, and _peeling_ the card stuck to his gag with _her teeth_, looking into his eyes the entire time. Then moving onto the others, careful to avoid any actual physical contact with him. Like she _knew_. About the entire scheme, about how he felt, like she could hear him moan despite the gag. Never letting any part of her body touch his own, and tongue sometimes flicking out.

By the time she pulled away, there was a stack of gift certificates in her hands and she was too busy counting them to pay attention to his whimpering. "Thanks. These I _do_ have a use for."

Couldn't even say his speech before she was opening the backdoors and kicking him out onto the pavement. He caught of glimpse of her smirk and was aware of the state of his ribbons, before he was tumbling out. Saw his friends, hiding behind cars, peeking and looking unsurprised at everything. Ducking when the other androids finally walked up and hopping into their van, with only the large one saying hello.

His last sight of the androids was over a dented bumper and a scratched sticker that was practically emblazed onto his eyelids.

Gohan was the one to finally run up and check on him, smiling. "So, did it work?"


	19. 501 thru 475

**Short note: I plan to finish this series of short stores at chapter twenty-one, and then start a new series of stories under a different name. **

**As always, thanks for the reviews/favorites/follows.**

**Chapter Nineteen, in which there is some mention of BoG, the Garlic Junior Saga, and the tenth Dragonball Z movie. **

* * *

**I can't meet someone I can't meet someone**

**Where and where are the cute girls?**

**I want it to be springtime**

**But there are so many guys**

**Just once I'd like to get married and mambo mambo**

**Everyone has someone they like**

**Everyone has someone they love**

**I'll try a little harder too**

**Everyone wants to be liked**

**Everyone wants to be happy**

**I'll become happy too**

**I want it to be springtime**

**But it's filled with fighting**

**Just once I'd like to get married and mambo mambo**

**I want a family, too**

**But I'm always far away**

**Just once I'd like to get married and mambo mambo**

**- Ichido Wa Kekkon-Shitai Mambo, Krilin's Image Song**

* * *

**451. Messed Around With Gender Roles, Dye my Eyes and Call my Pretty**

**(A/N: This is what happens when you watch the Garlic Junior Saga too many times.) **

Juuhachigou's screaming awoke him from his peaceful slumber, full of dreams of a nice, pleasant and calm blonde woman that understood that he was a nice normal guy. She was sweet, this girl, and never once insulted his taste in clothes. When they touched, he and this normal girl, there was no threatening to rip off limbs and that woman had never kicked him through a screen door during a sparring match that was supposed to be friendly.

But the woman in his shower, and in reality, continued to scream mindlessly. Finally, laying there prostrate on his bed, Krillin could make out the words, "Did Gero do this? What is this? What the hell, _what the hell, __**what the hell**_**?**" Then more shrieking. It was oddly quivering falsetto, then soprano, then a baritone as the curses began.

When he sat up, it was his own turn to scream.

There were no parts to his body that shouldn't have been, and others missing that definitely belonged. At first, when he glanced down, he thought that his shirt had just been greatly wrinkled and bunched. Then, as he tried to straighten his clothing, he wondered when he'd gained so much weight. Really, maybe he should take up sparring again, since without it, he looked not unlike Yajirobe. Then, shoving and yanking at the fabric, he realized that it was only in his _chest_ instead of his stomach as well, and finally he pulled his shirt off.

That was when his gibbering screams began.

As his brain realized there was something further wrong further below, his shrieks increased in volume. A small, sane portion of his brain registered that his voice was much higher as well.

Finally, someone knocked on his door. "Boy, what is the matter with you? What is wrong with you and that android?"

"She's a cyborg and no, _no don't come in_!" He pulled his shirt to hide his chest, shaking, and breathless. His voice was definitely not so deep now. Eventually, he summoned the courage to stand up, put his shirt on, and walk with quivering legs to the door.

Downstairs, there was a sudden squeal, and another shocked yell, this time from someone much older than the rest of the household.

When he and Juuhachigou saw each other, they practically ran into each other's arms. People often called Juuhachigou cold and emotionless, but she was so often anything but. Whether yelling at him for protecting her, or thinking she was involved with her brother, or insulting Vegeta, she definitely experienced emotions. Krillin thought of her as maybe not the nicest person, but one possessing as large a range of feelings as anyone else. There was a difference between being apathetic, and passionless.

Now though, she practically hugged him. "What's going on, what's going on?"

She and her brother were twins, and though he could see the resemblance when he learned they were related rather than lovers, never before had they looked so similar. Her jaw was firmer, the cheekbones a little stronger, the brows heavier. The blonde hair was dark with water, and he could still see soap on her skin from her shower.

"You look just like a blonde pale Juunanagou."

"Shut up! You,_ you_ just look bizarre." She brandished a hand wildly at his face.

"What could have caused this?"

"I bet it was something the pig did." Her voice was grim, and those blue eyes that hadn't changed at all were humorless.

Oolong ran into the room, still squealing. "What happened? What happened?"

Both of them shuddered, trying to rid their mind of the shape-shifting pig with a disturbing quality and amount of breasts. "We don't know. Now go back downstairs. Now."

His Master was complimenting his reflection. Juuhachigou rolled her eyes, the rubbed her forehead.

The phone ringing was a mixed distraction.

"You too?" Yamcha sounded not unlike Bulma when she was being charged at by something intent on killing her.

Krillin needed no other explanation. "Yes, my god, yes! _All of us_!"

There was a whistle. "Master Roshi as a woman. That is frightening."

"Is everyone like this?"

"I think so."

There was a unexplained, freakish noise coming from what seemed like the air itself. Was it the VCR, finally giving out from the daily abuse the turtle hermit put it through? But no; this noise had a more plaintive, furious quality to it.

"Did you hear that?"

"Did _you_?"

"Was it the phone?"

"No, it was something worse."

"Earthquake? Tsunami?"

"Oh, Kami." Krillin sent a prayer to Dende, as well as wherever Piccolo was. "_Vegeta_."

There was a low gasp on the other end of the telephone. Besides him, Juuhachigou had started to laugh. "Of course this happened to him. And of course he freaked out unnecessarily."

As though she had handled this with aplomb rather than actually hugging him.

"There's the silver lining." Male or not, she looked charming when she laughed.

He could nearly ignore the Adam's apple. Oh, no, please, don't ignore that.

There was beeping from the phone. "I'm getting another call here, Yamcha."

Chi-Chi was in hysterics. "I have two kids to take care of, and this is my_ reward_?! My poor babies don't understand what's going on! Goten's only a year old, this can't be good for his development."

"I know, I know. No one knows what's going on."

"It better be fixed! This is_ insane_!" Amazingly, Krillin was struck by how much she sounded like the Saiyan prince when she was upset. Even her eastern touched accent was not dissimilar from Vegeta's. impossible to imagine her not as a woman, that person who had shown up to propose to Goku and never flinched from any challenge (as seen from her marriage to Goku) and had always done her humble best to give her children as normal a life as could be expected.

"I can't live like this, Krillin. I can't!"

"I know!"

"How dare you complain about being a woman?!"

"Chi-Chi, I have someone else on the line. I should get to them."

Before she could respond, Krillin switched back to a patiently waiting Yamcha. "Yeah, Chi-Chi and the boys are like this too."

Suddenly, Juuhachigou's face lit up with information. She ran to the TV, making him aware of the jeans that were tighter than normal, and the looser shirt. Once, it might have made his day to see so much skin revealed as she searched frantically for the remote among the forest of magazines, fallen pillows and books and spilled cereal. Now, he felt like weeping since it only confirmed her state. Weep, and still ogle.

The news reporter, oddly dignified in his suit that filled things that hadn't needed to be filled, was straightening papers. His mustache was moderately less full. "And today's top story is of course the sudden change in everyone's gender."

"It's everywhere!" Juuhachigou sounded appalled. Then she gasped again. "My _brother_."

They both stopped to consider the implications of that. Juunanagou, with his rages, and odd innocence as he had never hurt anyone besides Gero, and seemed to resent the fighters more than they did him. Who had wanted to retreat into solitude, to heal in his own way, and really did not need to wake up to such random bullshit as this. "Uh-oh."

Together, they came together at Capsule Corporations. Something about the sterile environment full of science and the Dragonball detector spoke of sanity and stability. It spoke of surgery, and therapy and comfy chairs to sit in and talk about how horrible this all was. They all goggled at each other.

Everyone looked mildly short, or taller than normal. Their clothes, never exactly something out of the cover of a magazine, looked even more out of place. Some rubbed at their newly scabbed and halfway shaved faces gingerly, while others ran their hands down their sides, avoiding parts that discomforted them. All of them shifted in their seats, yanking at their clothing and crossing, uncrossing their legs. Then flinching.

"Oh, this is so fun! Like Halloween!" Bulma's squinty mother exclaimed, handing out lemonade and ginger snaps. Male or not, she was dressed in her usual shoulder revealing tank top and skirt.

Chi-Chi was dressed in some of Goku and Gohan's old clothes. They hung ridiculously off her still thin frame. In them, she no longer resembled the boys' mother, but their older brother though of course she did not find that the compliment as pleasant as Yamcha had meant. Oddly, though Gohan wore his usual clothes of a loose white shirt and black pants, Goten was in a pink, delicate dress made of silk and lace. At their inquisitive stares, she shrugged. "I had some outfits for girls given to me when we didn't know whether Goten was going to be a boy or not. I might as well get some use out of them."

Doubtless she had taken numerous pictures already that would be sure to confuse the boy once he grew older, "When did we have a sister?" and embarrass him once he learned the truth.

Yamcha looked rather sporty in a bright yellow suit. He was blushing, and avoiding eye contact, even when Krillin nudged him, and complimented him on his taste. Wherever did he find such a nice pantsuit?

Piccolo looked exactly the same. A tiny smirk touched at his mouth, but otherwise he was the usual.

"Vegeta won't come out of his room." Bulma scowled, holding Trunks who seemed more interested in playing with his tail than any gender changes. Her face, heavier and stronger than before, would have made her look more like Trunks when he was still a boy. Now, you could take one look at them and just assume that the infant took after her mother.

"I guess he'll come out when he wants to.

"Oh, I'll just wait until he gets hungry enough to crawl out. I already have the cameras set up."

Krillin played with his hair, wondering what he looked like now. He hadn't dared glance at a mirror. Just from the expression on Juuhachigou's still pretty face, he must have looked ridiculous. Normally he wasn't much of a looker, but was it possible, could he look even worse as a girl? His features were after all masculine, right? So he just stared at Juuhachigou, noticing that unlike the others there wasn't a single hair on the upper lip, not even a tiny pale one, and that her features were still delicate and lovely. Unfair.

How Juunanagou must have looked was up to the imagination, as neither dared visit him.

"I just hope he doesn't murder anyone," was all Juuhachigou said when Krillin asked whether or not they should check up on him. "This would be the thing to finally make him flip."

Tien and Choatzu were nowhere to be found. Perhaps that was a blessing.

"Any plans, guys? Woman? _People."_

"Who did you piss off this time?" Juuhachigou demanded. Bulma's mother giggled and blushed, even as the cyborg put her hands on her (his?) hips and glared at everyone.

They all glanced downward. "Well, it could really be a lot of people."

"Someone crazy."

"I wonder if they were affected as well?"

"Can we get the dragonballs and reverse this?"

Bulma held up the radar. "Of course. But we really should find out what caused this."

"Yeah…after we get turned back to normal."

"But shouldn't we defeat who did this?"

"After." They all agreed. "Then we can send whoever did this horrible thing to hell."

Again, they could all agree to this. "Okay, so should we split up? Or just go in a group to find it?"

The group glanced at each other from the corner of their eyes. "No, I—Let's just split up."

"Well, then I don't know what to tell you." She clicked the top of the radar like a stopwatch. "I guess some of you go north, and the rest west. This is so _stupid_. So what if we're different genders? Is that such a weird thing. My son can turn into a giant ape, and you're a cyborg, and half of us are either related or friends with aliens. Or_ are_ aliens."

Chi-Chi spoke for them all. "Bulma. No. No."

Best to leave now, while the mocking was ebbing. "Come on, Juuhachigou."

No one glanced at them, which seemed to annoy Juuhachigou.

"Why do I have to go with him?" She asked coolly, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes.

No one answered.

"Okay, you two go north for…I guess awhile. I can't even_ contact_ any of you."

Then, without a signal to warn them, Vegeta came out of hiding. They all looked at him, at the bulging hideous veins on his forehead that jutted out further than his new breasts. It was a beautiful moment where they all shared the same pain in this moment of perfect empathy.

This time, Bulma had no complaints. "Let's split up."

So they went west halfway with Oolong, Master Roshi and Yamcha.

* * *

Yamcha cornered him in the back. "Okay, we'll split up in a little while. I'll take the perverts."

"Really? You will?"

"Sure, sure. You and Juuhachigou could use the alone time."

"Thanks, buddy. I owe you one."

"Yeah. You do."

"…We can hear you."

"I don't want to travel with you anyway."

Juuhachigou just looked at him. Looked down at him. "I don't want to travel with any of you."

But it was too late. No matter how she would repeat that in every annoyed gesture or irritated look at him; they were already here.

And Kami's Lookout was suspiciously quiet. Krillin didn't need Baba's crystal ball to know there was trouble, somewhere. For now, he tried not to think about what he looked like, standing here. Bittersweet, this place was. All the old times spend training with his friends when Kami hadn't fused with Piccolo, when Juuhachigou had admitted to not entirely hating him that day Goku had died, and leaving him without a backwards glance as she took off. To say nothing of the earlier fighting he'd done here, and hearing his best friend's voice announce that he wasn't coming back to Earth. But Juuhachigou had picked him in the end, rather than Yamcha and the perverts.

Within two minutes, she was already regretting it as Krillin began to complain about how weird this all was, how heavy these were, god, it felt weird to fly around with these and how a tighter shirt would have been a better idea. Humiliating, to wish for a bra maybe, but it really would have been nice, especially if a fight—_when-_ a fight broke out. "You're lucky, Juuhachigou, that you don't…"

"What?"

That you have a smaller chest, but no, could never say that, thank Dende he hadn't said that. "Oh, nothing."

Disturbing to compare his cup size to hers…that no longer existed.

"I should have gone alone."

"We'll get through this. Whatever this is."

"I don't even get while we're here. It's not like Namek change gender and so your little green friend is traumatized."

"No, it's just…this is sort of similar to what happened before."

"What? _Really_? What happened before?"

But then the wall behind her was breaking apart, and he had a split second to think _what _before the blonde cyborg was flying towards him.

He had such mixed feeling when Juuhachigou crashed into him. That hurt, in a new area that he hadn't realized would hurt so much when punched. Not as much as a knee to the groin, when he'd been a guy, but not a stroll through the park either. At least now if someone did knee him, it might not make him cry and vomit so much.

Juuhachigou actually waited and watching him while he clutched his chest. "Okay?"

"I wish I had borrowed one of your bras." Or something from Oolong's collection, no matter how long the shower would be afterward. "Even if it would be too small."

Which made her punch him in the back so he fell on his bruised chest.

Even so, I would like to kiss you. Even now? Maybe.

I must never tell her that.

Then he noticed who had even tossed Juuhachigou into him.

At the same time, "_You! Again_!"

"This time—"

"I won't let you hurt anyone!"

Juuhachigou had to make her little comments. "You two know each other?"

"…We are acquainted."

It only raised more questions really. And it felt like someone was really just having a laugh. Which made since. They all overpowered Garlic Junior by now, and thus, this was the only way he could approach getting revenge. Pathetic, really. Unless it was a permanent change, in which case, well, at least people weren't murdering each other.

There were the usual assortment of lackeys behind him. Absurdly muscled and still appearing to be male. It might have been a nice change of pace if they'd been women, even if he would inevitably begin getting a crush on one. Still, for all the muscles and scowls, Krillin could have beaten them up, this strange collection of monsters and demons that Garlic had at his disposal.

But before he could take a swing at the smirking bastards, Juuhachigou was moving forward and leaving him time to barely blink.

Juuhachigou didn't wait for them to react and fight back. She didn't brag or thankfully hate-flirt with anyone. Twisting, and that kick had to hurt. How she spun and sent one falling with holes in him, how had that even happened-there was only simple grace, regardless of gender. She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear when she was done, and actually bowed when Krillin somehow found himself literally applauding her.

In less than half a minute, she had dealt mortal blows to all of Garlic's henchmen that had sprouted from who-knows-where. Krillin remember how frightening she'd been, that face revealed as the dust cleared, and tried to be brave. Tried not to flinch as she threw one of the goons possibly out of the atmosphere. Tried to duck as one of them came flying at him.

Gohan really should have been here for this.

Not that he was even needed at this state (as there was no one left between them and Garlic Junior) but still.

Juuhachigou dusted off her clothes, annoyed when she brushed off her shirt and remembered that something was missing. Really, Krillin wished he could give her these things, because they felt so awkward when he crossed his arms.

"Juuhachigou. Did you even know those guys were bad?"

"What—they were, weren't they?" At least she looked a little taken aback.

"Yeah, but still…"

Still, the blonde woman was shrugging, and then turning back to Garlic Junior, who had gone pale at the sight. Krillin cracked his knuckles, finding a smile. At least here was someone that he could take his anger out on without feeling guilty.

Until Juuhachigou was _already there._

Krillin could only watch, and shake his fist. Ridiculous, how fast she was. She was doing this on purpose, had to be. "Come on!"

There was surprise on that perfect somewhat androgynous face when she blew a hole through that stomach with one flick of her wrist. Then she was launching a kick at his head, as though she were playing another zombie game with her brother, cheating by trying to distract Juunanagou. Even if, unfortunately, the head wasn't a weak spot. As Krillin could have told her, if she ever bothered to wait and talk to him like he was too an adult. Older than her, even.

She killed him three times over—four at the sudden cracking sound of his neck going again. All to only momentarily slow the demon down.

Nor could Garlic Junior lay a hand on her.

They simply look at each other, all three of them. The unstoppable force had met the unmovable object.

A feint at Juuhachigou, and then a left hook at Krillin, that hardly even was capable of hurting him. Still, Garlic Junior seemed to wise up, a little. Or wanted to find whatever victory he could.

The first punch nearly caved in the demon's head. The second buried itself into that chest, and the gurgling, the squish of blood as Krillin struggled to remove his hand. Shock on that green face, as he mouthed that this was impossible. It was so nice, to meet an enemy that he could finally beat up. To give into that rage that had been there for—maybe it had always been there, just hidden and locked up through his own weakness and now was spewing out like a burst sore. Until he was here, with a sex he hadn't been born with, and the ability to take it all out on someone that could take it.

Juuhachigou had pulled him off what was left of Garlic Junior. Ignoring his flailing at her, and getting a punch to her face. _Her face_. A split lit sent blood dripping down the perfect chin, and no one was more surprised than her by it. She touched it, looking at the stain on her hand.

"Oh, Juuhachigou. I'm so _sorry." _Every bit of rage slid down to his feet, and his knees nearly buckled. She would twist his head around and then break both his arms, and Krillin would deserve it.

"You're stronger than the database suggested."

How could he have every touched her?

"Oh get up." How could she smile that that, with a gleam in her eyes? "I guess we know now that you_ can_ spar with me?"

Oh, Dende, no.

"…where's Dende?"

They looked around together. Mister Popo's flowers were a disaster, as where the fallen trees and broken tile that Krillin bet he and Juuhachigou were probably responsible for as this place hadn't looked so bad when they'd first arrived.

"Fighting Garlic Junior again…only this time I'm fully clothed. And I haven't been thrown into any pillars again."

Juuhachigou looked at him, her lip still bleeding. "A psychiatrist would have a field day with you all."

Garlic Junior was, meanwhile, regrowing his jaw. There was something poetic about that. It looked painful. Above them, the sky remained that cheerful blue rather than rending itself open in a flood of red and black, swirling and malevolent.

He and Juuhachigou waited.

"The brat ran off when I first showed up."

"Smart kid."

"He is."

They all but shuffled their feet.

"Are you going to reopen the Dead Zone?"

"If I do, will you let me leave?"

"Depends. How do we get back to normal?"

"The throne room has the Clearwater Mist that will undo the damage."

"Terrible name for that." Juuhachigou had less blood on her than he did. "I have to ask, what was the point of this? You came back from some swirling Hell, just to change people's gender?"

"…I picked the wrong jar."

Before Garlic Junior could betray them or attempt to suck them into that mass above their heads, Juuhachigou flicked a ball of yellow energy to send him on his way. Maybe there was something to relentless brutal violence to solve their problems. A terrible lesson to learn, much worse than his brief time in the bathroom. For the first time, Krillin felt almost sorry for the shriveling monster. He wanted to wave goodbye at him, until he saw the dark green, almost black blood caking his hands as it dried.

Who was the shriveled monster here, anyway?

At least some things would go back to normal. Still, the fighter couldn't say that things in his life were on an upward trajectory.

"When's the next time the Makyo Star is coming around?"

"Hopefully not for a long time. Now, let's spread this around and get the hell of here."

* * *

Everything was basically back to normal after Dende crawled out from beneath rubble and helped them spread the mist. He thanked them, all courtesies, but Krillin had to notice how his eyes lingered on the stains and how the small guardian saw how much damage had been done to this sanctuary.

The other all but patted Juuhachigou on the back and congratulated and thanked her. Ignoring Krillin and whatever contributions he'd made, they didn't even know how much he'd helped and how it had been his idea to get rid of Garlic Junior.

Chi-Chi was pulling at her sagging pants. "Finally, we can get back to our normal lives."

Maybe because of the ease, the relief and goodwill in the air, Juuhachigou even let that remark go.

Bulma and Vegeta were unavailable for comment, and no one pushed the subject. One of the many reasons Krillin was suddenly glad that Future Trunks was back in his timeline right now; at least he'd been spared this humiliation. God, that guy was so lucky.

As for Krillin himself, he couldn't say that things were all too much different. Aside from wanting to hug himself, glad for being a guy again. So happy he could skip around or spend another hour in the shower or simply lay there on the floor of the living room and remember to be grateful after seeing himself in the mirror again. Right, this was an improvement.

"Oh, hell, Krillin, you didn't even look that bad." Then she corrected herself, this idol. As though she could ever understand. "Hardly more ridiculous than you do now."

"Thanks. At least we learned something new about anatomy."

"Speak for yourself. But, Krillin, really. This _never happened_."

"_What_ happened? I have no idea what you're talking about…but you know, it was completely unfair how pretty you still were, even as a guy."

**452. should we be tempted by thief or saint**

**it seems I leave and you stay**

It took long enough for him to worry that she might still be there when he returned.

She did have a tendency to leave when he didn't focus all his energy and attention onto her. Like a ghost or something that he'd somehow created out of his imagination, summoned.

But her familiar shadow was still there, in the flickering fire. Krillin clutched the fallen pieces of wood, hoping to not let them spill out. How many times on a beach, together, laughing and perhaps with a basket nearby? How many times in the city, shopping and watching his reflection smile and nod at himself for actually having such a woman at his side?

Hoping that he was the same, that he was different enough.

As she wouldn't have done before maybe, she didn't even ask him to feed the fire but instead did it herself, shivering a little. He'd never seen her with a dirty face before. He'd never seen her look so beautiful.

Strange, how all this death and disaster could bring so many people together. Even exes.

**453. I Can't Grow A Mustache**

It starts off a few stray hairs, and they all make jokes about his shaving rituals. It looks like something a teenage boy would grow. Pathetic enough that Juuhachigou does not pluck them while he sleeps. Perhaps it might be considered cute, the fluffiness of it as another week passes and Krillin dodges any attempt to explain fully why it existed.

Then it begins to grow in thicker.

Darker than the hair on his head.

She begins to worry.

Especially as he pets it like he did the first growth of hair that had sprouted on that strange head of his. "You know, it's what I always wanted."

It signified something. Maybe it is because of the grey weaving itself into the temples of his black hair. Or that their daughter is getting taller than him. The slight, soft wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and across his forehead. Little things that Juuhachigou has noticed, but never cataloged or cared about with any substation other than this flutter below her ribs. Was this some acceptance of his middle-age that she is also too aware of?

And then she sees something similar growing on Vegeta's face one long trip to Capsule Corp, and that ends whatever grudging acceptance.

Juuhachigou finds herself standing above her husband's head, the head of the man that had fathered their child, holding a safety razor in one hand, a can of shaving cream in the other. It is for his own good. He doesn't need this ridiculous thing that he'd grown for whatever reason. She will remove it, and then call Bulma to complain about their spouses ridiculous facial hair and tell her to do the same. Just like before, when the Briefs woman had removed Vegeta's tail and Juuhachigou had found the stash of magazines under the crock pot, so many years ago. It is for their own good, and it is still a mystery to both of them that their partners refuse to understand this.

"Juu? Juuhachigou?"

His own intuition and sense and years of marriage tell him what she was going to do with that razor.

"Juuhachigou?

"...Do you hate it? Would you prefer me to shave it off?"

"I just don't understand why you grew that thing!"

He raised one eyebrow. "You know what they call these, right?"

"_Krillin_!" Like there are other people to hear this. As if they aren't married and so well acquainted with each other. But still. God. "Is that necessary?"

"Hmmm. Don't know." All half-lidded eyes. "Want to find out?"

"Juh-just keep it then…how can you still be so very perverted?"

"Your influence, dear. Besides, I, you know, I always pictured myself growing one of these when I finally got married and had a kid. I'm not sure why. I happen to like it. Maybe you'll learn to live with it. Like the rest of my face."

**454. You Know I Love You Too Much To Be Crushed Like That**

It's almost funny that he knew where the blast that swept him off his feet had come from without a second thought. Almost intuitively. Gero had probably installed it as another way of keeping the androids in line, or as a backup in case they were truly overpowered, a way to make sure no one had a happy ending no matter what. Hadn't the mad man had so many surprised hidden in his sleeve?

The air and his lungs burned. His eyes filled with tears, and Krillin could barely bring himself to roll over and wonder if he'd been burned.

And she'd been so noble, so _afraid_, so _good,_ despite everything. How could she not be redeemable, that brave woman that had tried to only defend herself. Trying to help her friend, though it would have been easier to leave him behind. Telling Krillin that he should have used that remote, and maybe he should have. Rather than to stand there and see death rushing, she would have hopefully fallen into a sleep.

He'd been so worried about Cell hurting Juuhachigou, that he never even thought of how easy it would be for his allies to hurt her. Allies, hell, perhaps a _friend_. The child of one of his best and oldest friends. Who was noble and surprisingly responsible. Who'd hated the androids, no matter what timeline.

Trunks hadn't been able to defeat Cell perhaps, but the half-Saiyan had definitely made sure that he couldn't become perfect.

**455.** "**Look just suppose I asked you really nicely to forget this game and walk away. Would you?"**

Krillin hadn't thought he could _get_ more confused, more disturbed, more _thrown off _until he saw the android, the brunette leader shrugging. "Well. I guess we_ could_."

"Wait. Really?"

"I'm not really sure if I want to actually do something that would make Gero happy, after all."

The blonde female one, Juuhachigou, was shrugging herself in agreement. For someone that had so recently beaten two of the strongest fighters on the planet, she moved with ease._ Grace, _even. As easily as a dancer, and it was still disorienting to remind himself that yes, she was a _fighter_, a powerful warrior just like his friends, except even stronger. "I doubt you could have even gotten there anyway, given your sense of direction."

"Hey." But Juunanagou was smiling, a little.

"Doctor Gero is dead." The huge, unnerving android was nodding. And there was a certain sense of _something_ behind those pale eyes that made Krillin realize that for all his size and unsettling smiles, this one did have a brain, thoughts that ticked behind the rough-hewn face. "What he wanted does not matter now. Why hurt another without reason?"

They still looked prepared to leave, and Krillin didn't know whether that were reassuring or not. "Speaking of which, you should go get your friends those senzu beans. Tell them when we wake up, we'd be interested in a rematch."

"I still need new clothes, Juunanagou."

"Fine, _fine."_

Just going to leave Krillin here to gape, and never be able to explain any of this. He wanted to squeak, to run around like a mouse, to go help his friends get up and pop champagne and to tell himself that he knew better. "You're just leaving. _Seriously_?"

Trunks had no mentioned anything about _this_.

The ringleader continued to talk, even as the blonde girl-android looked ready to drag him away. "Why would we stick around?"

"To murder us! Really, you're just moving on, and not killing _any_ of us? Not even Vegeta?"

"Isn't that what you _want_? Not that I blame you wanting us to finish off Vegeta…"

As though now they would just disappear? Go to an arcade, take up playing golf, get jobs and houses in some city miles away from where Goku lived? Could they—would they? Krillin could remember going to visit the Sons, and seeing Piccolo hoeing peas at Chi-Chi's command and constantly having to turn down the offer of lemonade while behind them Gohan was pushing Goku in a tire swing, when Vegeta had been there at every Capsule Corp barbecue to eat everything and mock all the humans there, and even of how Yamcha had joined Bulma and Goku and Oolong to help them…Three years training for so little, but there might be peace after all.

"But, then…what are you going to do now?"

"We are going shopping," said that female android, who finally was looking at him as though he were something other than the lowest dog. A girl. Why had Trunks left out that detail? It would have been nice to have a warning before the dust had cleared and revealed that smirking distant face that was too close, alive and aware. Just to mentally prepare himself. Because he had problems, if it came to punching a pretty woman in the face, unfair, stupid chivalry…not that he would have a chance to even take a swing at her.

"And then?"

"I guess we'll see then, won't we?" Nearly sticking her tongue out and everything.

Like this was another day at the park, and could all be solved through arm-wrestling or a tickle-fight. Pillow fights to see who would have to pay for the trip to the movies. What _brats_. As they all knew, could nearly read his thoughts, and it was maybe this casual acceptance of where they stood that made her glance over her shoulder before all three were taking off.

Impossible for Krillin to stop them, to reason with them any further, but for now, maybe this was a start.

**456. I Am Your Girl, and I Will Protect You**

Later, Juuhachigou will appreciate the irony more. Much later.

For now, she was simply grateful of having this tiny snippet of programming that taught how to use the Solar Flare, as so used by the humans. Even while cursing Gero for all he'd done to her and her twin brother.

She can understand why she'd used it, while wishing she'd done it later. She can understand the cowardice that came from running, and from leaving Juurokugou, so badly damaged, behind. She can almost understand her own stupidity and how she'd underestimate that monster, and growing realization that yes, Juunanagou is gone.

But she can't understand why she'd used that damn move, and then grabbed that miserable short weakling that hadn't used that remote, grabbed this idiot, and dragged him along to escape this island. Even now, leading him along, trying to remember how she'd once held this world in her palms, how she could have turned everything to ash alongside her brother, she couldn't understand why she was running with him, and remembering a story she might have heard when she still human. Hansel and Gretel from the witch.

Juuhachigou can only ask herself why she'd taken the strange bald human away from Vegeta's rage, Cell's frustration, that mysterious Saiyan who looked at her with such rage in those pupil-less green eyes. Ask herself, and take him further away and imagine a dark forest where a boy and girl had been abandoned and a house filled with candy where a cannibal lived.

**457. Male or Female, I Don't Care, Is that The Problem**

It wasn't jealousy no matter what jokes the others made. Or even just empathy, and care for the other woman.

If only it were those things.

To be honest, there were elements of it. A matter of comparison, of lack that she found in herself, but it wasn't anything as simple envy. Juuhachigou was the most beautiful person on the planet, enough to leave anyone struggling to form sentences, but Krillin didn't care about wanting to look like her. She didn't want to know what shampoo Juuhachigou used (well, alright, maybe a little), but simply wanted to sit and sigh heavily when the sun would hit it at a certain angle.

What she felt was strangling, heavy as any burden she'd ever carried. It couldn't even be hidden, or denied, what she felt. Already, it had been admitted and confessed, before she'd even opened her mouth. Already, she would lay there, wounded and free and alive.

Smiles and feeling like she'd missed a step on the stairs, and sometimes _actually_ missing a step and falling down them to everyone's laughter because Juuhachigou was looking at her.

She wanted to throw rocks at Juuhachigou's window, and run away. She wanted to write poetry, and slip them under Juuhachigou's door and hope her brother never found it. She wanted to savor every word that was said to her, and wince at every awkward exchange. She wanted to believe her friends and what they said to her, in hopes of keeping Krillin's spirits up.

She wanted…

Right now, she kinda wished she'd thought this out better, than hanging outside the small cabin, looking at the yellow light through the curtains, feeling her jacket sticking to her back. She could wish that she hadn't left that room, left the warmth of the bed and pale arms, and wonder why the light was still on.

* * *

He'd thought the intentions had been clear enough bringing him here, but the other man was still rather confused. "There sure are a lot of guys here…" Then he's seen two of them kissing, and realized the dancing wasn't so innocent. "Um. Juuhachigou? Is it okay to be here? We're not intruding, right? It's okay for _us_ to be here?"

Apparently, he'd taken Juunanagou's comments as just jokes, and not seen the grains of truth in them. While the blonde cyborg hadn't taken him swimming just to get him half-naked, that had definitely been a plus. And yes he only watched sports that Krillin liked to enjoy the short fighter explaining things, rather than to see those other men in shorts.

Krillin was so hopeless. Pretending he hadn't gasped and blushed over that dumb kiss, that breaking the remote had just been an act of friendship, that he was just hanging out with Juuhachigou to be a be just two guys acting like regular straight guys.

-How could anyone who drank Shirley Temples and appletinis be completely straight? Right? Right.

"Are you open to the possibility that you might belong here?"

**458. We Could Be A Real Disaster **

Everyone just _got it_ with a sickening gross, nearly audible click as Krillin and Juuhachigou smiled at one another across the yard. Even seeing the supposed-murderer in this sunny place was strange, but seeing her looking at their friend with something like borderline interest was like watching a child waving a matchstick near a pile of dynamite.

Trunks was the one to step in, grabbing his arm and leading him away and towards where the tournament was taking place.

Krillin went with some protesting, hardly looking at the half-Saiyan, hardly looking away from the cyborg.

And the cyborg was the same puppy-dog way.

Which was all very good to say, that looks were enough to determine such a thing. That maybe, perhaps, something was occurring between them after all.

In retrospect, maybe it was just a warning.

Because the way that she went after that red-haired alien woman who had been talking to Krillin, now that was a giant red flag to slap them in the faces, if you were watching them rather than worrying about your son. Then, you had to add in the fact that yes, that was totally a modified destructo disk and that was the Kamehameha, of all things for her to use while defending Krillin and even trying to help Trunks and Gohan, and it was all over then. Not just because of her being blasted through a building and causing Krillin to panic over her state, but there was no more room for kidding or talk of pathetic crushes?

And since when did Krillin shoot beams from his fingers?

Bulma, watching, could only shake her head, annoyed, amused by their basically flirting was being caught on camera as Krillin ignored his own wounds to dig her up. If Vegeta had cared enough to be here could have warned the others that it was already too late. Roots had been sunk, and only these two could dig them up, because even been pulled away, the taboo natured, only added a little extra spice to their deranged relationship.

Later, much later, when Vegeta showed up to be a hero, then a jerk, then a hero again, when Gohan won and the rest of the fighters were being scrapped up and taken to the hospital, the blue-haired genius was trying to wrestle with her squalling son and with a hurt Vegeta who refused to get in an ambulance. She believed she might have seen their hands briefly brushing across their beds, before they were wheeled away and separated. Krillin holding hands with an android—and then Vegeta was grabbing Trunks to calm down the squirming toddler. A strange day.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe they deserved each other, and so what of the collateral damage they might cause defending each other?

In the room, after having promised to visit Juuhachigou who was in a different wing, Krillin refused to own up.

Chi-Chi patted his arm. The undamaged one, as a show of support. "I don't really get it. But it's good that you're moving on past your ex."

Oh, that was true. The blonde woman, even given the fact that she had programming at all, was a better option than what's-her-name.

"Just try not to take it too fast." Said the woman who married Goku, because of a dumb little proposal he made as a kid. On the other hand, who would know better.

"Yeah, really, we have enough kids running around without adding in an android's baby."

"_What_? Guys, we're friends. Just _calm down_!"

"You say that now. But we're not driving all the way out to Kame House to babysit any towheaded kids for you two…though, they would probably be adorable."

When they visited Juuhachigou, and found her passed out and drooling, they were considerate to her rest—besides, why piss off a cyborg that might have murdered them all? And one who was dating one of their friends. Still, they were unable to resist leaving her flowers on her bedside table, along with a stack of condoms, and an get-well card placed atop it with Krillin's forged signature written inside. Because Krillin was their friend after all, and it was their duty to help him live out his dream of having a wife if not yet a child as soon as they got their shit together like everyone else.

**459.** "**You know, it's kind of cute."**

His sister had always prided herself on her taste, her willpower, and complete lack of…fawning. For anything. That was one woman that despised everything. Especially things she considered to be so below her, things of tackiness and gaudy accessories, words that were unnecessary symbolic, and shirts non-striped.

So where was she, and why was he left with this imposter that, if reluctantly, cooed and smile at that hideous, freakish baby crawling its way from that shell, what few feathers it had clumped and damp and horrid over all? When exactly had she developed a nauseating soft spot for the pathetic?

**460.** "**To be young and in love. To be completely irrational. Boy, I miss those days. Lots."**

After everything was said and done, and she could say that they'd mostly covered from the experience, Juuhachigou reached over and punched Krillin in the shoulder.

He awoke, yelling, panicked. Angry, once realizing what she'd done. "Oooww. What the hell, woman?"

"That was for what you said yesterday."

"What?"

"You said that you weren't in love anymore."

"_What_?" Krillin, like a shocked widow in their early nineties, reached for his throat.

"You said that you missed being _young and in love_."

"Wha—oh, yeah. Honey, I didn't mean it like_ that_. I just meant…it's different now. We're married and with a kid."

"So our lives are empty and meaningless."

"You don't understand." His fingers were caught in his hair, and Juuhachigou restrained herself from helping him. That rat's nest on his head. Remembering breaking his electric razor, then buying him a new one when the facial hair began to grow. 'Just not the head.' And Goku telling Krillin, more than once, that he looked better without that hair.

"I…babe, don't take this the wrong way. But you there's some things that you can't get. About aging. Since you don't do that."

There is steel cutting into her stomach. "What exactly am I missing?"

"It's different now. Than when I first fell in love. I wake up every day next to you. Every day I choose-to love you, again and again. To be together, every single day. I had no idea that was going to happen. That there was a _choice. _That you learn faith in a person, and it's not entirely blind. I learned to trust you, and that, that, you could _love me_. Am I making sense?"

As though she hadn't felt the same way, was incapable of understanding that there are choices. Did not wake up, less and less, to wonder who was sleeping next to her, this stranger, and tell her that yes, he was her husband, father to her child. Yes.

"Not like when it felt like you just stole something from me. I couldn't even begin to imagine we would get married and have a child together. I've never loved anyone like I do you."

Only Krillin could ruin the opportunity for an argument.

But not completely, offering her an olive branch that allows her to still be annoyed. And she loved him for that, loved him. "Plus, let's be honest, I'm not young or as irrational now. _You're _the young irrational one."

**461. I Never Want to See You Until Our Wedding Day**

**(A/N: Apparently, BoG was going to take place at Krillin/Eighteen's wedding rather than at Bulma's birthday party, and thus, this story was born.)**

To say it was belated was a bit of a understatement. When your own daughter was the flower girl, you'd clearly down some things in a different order from most. As seen in everyone's face and their chuckles and cooing over Marron going to person to person and just handing them flower petals; watching even Vegeta take one was so miraculous Juuhachigou hoped her brother had caught a shot of it.

God knows he had plenty of her fiancés weeping, mockingly or not, into a tablecloth. "I never thought this day would come!"

Juunanagou patted his back. "No one did."

Goku managed to join in, despite a mouth of shrimp. "Especially not me."

"Thanks for the encouragement, you guys. It's nice to know you care."

"I meant, you know, I didn't think you'd marry one of the androids. Uh, no offense, you guys." Her husband's best friend: the man she'd been programmed to murder. Who, incidentally, had beaten Vegeta again in terms of who could finish the most crab cakes, though Bulma was going to drink them all under the table, the way she was going. She had already taken off her shoes and looked a step away from unzipping that bridesmaid gown, and thankfully, it was Chi-Chi who was looking after Marron.

"Juuhachigou. You can't be here, I'm not supposed to see you in that dress. It's bad luck."

She took a glass of champagne from one of the buffet tables, one of the many buffet tables. "Oh, please. What could makes this day go wrong? Worse?"

Juuhachigou tipped her glass at him, admiring the pale blue suit that she hadn't seen before that matched the light touches her own dress had. Glad after all that there was no red here, and that he hadn't picked the bright pastel that even their daughter had thought was tacky. And didn't this man, cursed with otherwise bad taste, know the gleam in her eyes, respond himself in that he smirk back? The, this happiness and ease between them that had never abated since their first date trying to track down her brother and end up making out in a dilapidated warehouse after the roof had caved in to send them falling into each other. If there was such a thing, perhaps it was fate, and the way Krillin had grabbed her and asked if she were alright.

Tonight, she would carry him in her arms to their bridal bed, and further make this bed-and-breakfast with its cozy inn appearance regret hosting their wedding. "I'm _already _marrying you."

Enjoying the spring day, not minding anymore how long Krillin had spent just trying to pick the perfect day. How much they'd spent on all this. Not annoyed even by Hercule being here given that it was his money she'd rightfully blackmailed from him.

"_Yeeeeah, _Krillin. Dende's here to make everything official too, and the food's great and Vegeta's not being a jerk."

Astute, for a man that hadn't known how she and Krillin had been able to have a baby.

A reminder of his inherent thoughtless goodwill. Like when he'd won some small tournament for Chi-Chi's sake, and had gone around literally showering people with crisp bills like a Santa Clause that had gotten money and in shape. Even chasing down Vegeta to force money onto his fellow Saiyan; the train of destruction had been caught by the news. Only to give it all away so that by the time he got home, had to be sent back out to win some more money.

Soon, he would give a speech, and they would all have to shake their heads over how absurd this all was. Sooner, there would be further drinking after and during the ceremony when she declared aloud that she'd chosen Krillin and wouldn't cringe when it came to kissing him in front of his friends and Bulma and Master Roshi would make a show of egging them on. Eventually, they would head home and he would have to rest after getting a concussion on that headboard and she would put the photo album away.

"Don't worry about it." The best man whom she might have killed almost a decade ago was raising his own glass of orange juice, presumably not one of the Screwdrivers that Bulma had been making earlier. "Here's to your happy wedding day."

**462. I Will Dig A Hole, and I'll Throw You Into It**

Sense came back only after her brother found them like that, in bed, with only caramel and a pair of boxers covering strategic areas. And considering it was only a pair of ridiculous boxer shorts in orange and white, marked with the Kame insignia, Juuhachigou couldn't say she felt great over the situation. Though, she did _look_ great in those boxers.

That didn't mean she wasn't ashamed, and scrambling to find a shirt and chase after her blinded brother.

Then grab him, and shake her twin, and final express what had been brewing in her mind since she'd seen him again, and found herself making out with him, right there, in public. Inside the mall. Falling nearly into a window and right in front of the small playground while children looked on. "Get me out of this."

"Oh no. You dug your grave. And you two can lie in it together. Ugh."

"I don't know how it happened. He's got some strange hold on me. Sometimes literally."

"Uuuugh. Stop _talking_."

"You can help. You can't kill him. But you can…freak him out. You're good at that. He's already afraid of you. Especially now.

"I have a disease."

Somehow, he looked a little bit more disgusted. "…From him?"

"Because of him. Of him. I'm sick."

"Why?"

Madness. Because she couldn't bear not to. Because she'd wanted to slap him when first seeing him again, and was being suffocated with the realization that she did want to touch him, had to, and not simply to slap him.

Krillin had assumed too much at the beginning, only now to turn shy when there were so few pretenses between.

Why, her brother had asked, as though such a question had never occurred to her.

Follow the rope to the knot tied around her throat. Trace backwards and admit that Krillin had made her flush, and taught Juuhachigou in such a prurient way to enjoy her body as she hadn't before. Go further. She could barely walk when spotting him, let alone run away when he noticed her. The sky had fallen in at his presence, a punch to her gut that dropped her to her knees and then she could not continue, could not even continue that line of thought in front of her brother.

Better to give him a half-truth. "I guess I have nothing better to do."

**463. Teacher Needs To See Me After School**

**(A/N: Inspired by a certain fanart/comments posted on the Chestnut Island tumblr blog) **

He sat there with a grin, as though the red marks on his paper were anything other than a sign of incompetence. There is sun in his life, no matter how grey the sky is outside and how the rain will soak him when he has to walk home in it after he misses the bus. For now, there is still dry clothes and hope and the glitter from the metal on her name tag and that skirt that is really too short, no, honest, it was a sign. A beautiful signal. Just like the way her glasses glinted under the fluorescent lights, the clean pearls, of a black bra almost hidden under a purple jacket this time if you weren't spending the hour looking for it, the other notes she'd left of approval that Krillin had learned was worse than corrections.

The perfect storm in lust and taboos that only made it all the more tempting. Who wore belts that were in their own league in terms of sexual temptation. This woman that made Krillin understand why the other couples in his life were so terrible to one another: for the attention. Positive, negative, what did it matter really. Really.

While Bulma practically flung her own paper into his face. "A hundred and twelve percent. Suuuuck iiiit." This, after promising to tutor Krillin and get that failing grade up.

Everyone making their own little comments, and staring a little at his ink-stained paper. All that was missing from it was a sad smiley face like the ones Goku would get for his behavior. And spelling. People gathering their things brought such a relief that he wanted to sink into his chair and jump up and down like he was six and rushing on sugar. Better, because he was less likely to vomit. It was not okay how excited the sound of a backpack zipper got him.

Good. Let the others rush ahead. Gather their own papers and leave. Get out. Just get the hell out now.

"Jeez, man, even Goku did better than that."

Goku pulled his head up from his dead, the paper that had been sat on it flying through the air. "You guys are mean."

Why were any of them still here? Oh, oh, Kami, had any of them gotten notes on their own papers? No, she was good, competent and complete. No one else was getting a D minus, not this late in the semester. They would have dropped the course by now. Together, their little group had stuck it out, even Goku who had the tendency to let his mind wander almost as bad as Krillin lately.

"Dumber than Kakarotte," Vegeta hissed, as he took off. So confident on his own grade that he apparently didn't feel the need to share.

Was Juuhachigou purposely avoiding his gaze, cleaning up the board? Something that he'd rushed to do the first time. The first moment, the first time Krillin had properly noticed that she was more than just a simple matter of pretty, to be glanced at and dismissed because, well, she was also his teacher. The sudden catch in his stomach when she looked at him, looked down at him and told him to stop using his thesaurus so much because it showed.

Arguing was impossible because he now saw that she wore red hoop earrings that only accented that she was mature, and Krillin could picture her in an apartment with white walls, before a mirror and putting them on, tilting her head.

No wedding ring.

How he'd run through the hallways with a grin and bag hanging off him after that. Damned and so happy in the autumn light when eventually finding the doors, and not caring when he slid on wet leaves to fall on his ass because there was no way Miss Juuhachigou had seen it. Krillin could roll around, in this filth of dirty leaves and cigarette butts and mud and chip wrappers and crushed cans of soda, not caring about how sticky his hair would get or the new cuts. Arrive home disgusting his roommates and never be able to explain his smile, even as he found the broom.

Because a switch had been turned. Because her name was Juuhachigou Gero, Miss Juuhachigou Gero, and there was very else in his world aside from her somewhat apathetic and beautiful face hidden behind those glasses.

Glasses. Never before had he thought much about_ glasses_ in any capacity, let alone had found himself particularly fetishizing them. Finding her in the library, working on something no doubt brilliant for her tenure, and taking them off to _bite_ the end of one arm and she had been kind enough not to laugh too hard when he knocked over the book cart Krillin had been trying to hide behind. Not that she was a sweet woman. Many things, but not kind to those that didn't try which was why half the classes was empty.

All the better.

Yamcha patted him on the back when seeing the note she'd left in the corner. "Good luck with that. Maybe Bulma can tutor you?"

Though, obviously, he couldn't be the only one that had a crush on her. Couldn't be the only one that had to lean forward and hold the ends of this small flimsy desk with its graffiti of genitals and initials and gum stuck to whatever-he-would-reach-for. Pull it in a little closer if possible, or yourself closer to it, the better to hide yourself from what she didn't need to notice.

Then think, long and for too long, with glazed eyes, about that desk and what it could be used for. Even while knowing that it wouldn't happen, nothing like that ever happens to you, no matter how many notes she might put down or how she might smile the tiniest bit over his comments when she asks a question. Even while knowing, even if it were, the desk was too flimsy and would fall over from the weight, to say nothing of the gum situation or the windows to the outside world that had little to do with him when he was in here.

I will flunk. I will flunk this class so fast.

Empty class, and his stomach is in his throat. The dumbest grin on his face that has to be stuffed down and hidden. "I guess you didn't like this essay either."

"You went from being one of the best students here to the worst. Care to explain why?"

But none of that mattered. Not even his GPA mattered.

Or that he might have to retake this class. No, that would be even _better_.

"Oh, you know, I just don't have a very good _grasp_ on certain parts of this class."

In the porno that his life wasn't, Juuhachigou didn't take him up on that offer. Right on the desk, no way would that happen. But still, the fourteen-year-old inside had to giggle. He was insanity and cursed with the worst crush ever, all wrapped up in a green shirt that he'd ironed just for this class. She had to despise him, at this point. Why wouldn't she? Campus security should be called, really—especially considered that Krillin knew about her connections with the school.

What was in that glance, unblinking? "Have you thought of getting a tutor?"

"I don't know. Is that necessary?"

The painfully blue eyes, hidden behind the glasses or not, were looking down at something at her desk. "I suppose I have time in the evening."

For what? Dates with tall men that aren't students. Obviously.

Looking at her watch. "Meet me here tomorrow at six, in this classroom for a tutoring session."

"Tomorrow?"

"And _don't_ be late." It didn't matter that there was a threat in her voice.

As though he wouldn't be there an hour early.

I am going to flunk.

**464. When I Tell You That I Love You, You Think It's A Joke**

She'd just finished making a joke about her own shopping habits, and between that and this cozy coffee place they sat in as any other two people on a date might have, Krillin had to give in. No matter how sense might yell at him, impossible not to lean towards as, pulled into her presence as he'd been ever since that kiss on the side of the road. To look into her eyes across this table, not so far away and look into blue, mildly unsettled eyes. Practically smell the cappuccino on both their breath, and simply savor that Juuhachigou was _here_.

That they were here, together.

"What? Do I have foam on my face again?"

"I love you."

Rather than all the other times he'd made that confession, the announcement, she was not laughing in his face and then ignoring him. Not almost turning away or doggedly keeping quiet, making Krillin sure that she hated him, that she didn't care, that she could love him in return but could not express it and could only lock her jaw instead. Or that she really hadn't heard him, considering how he had said it on the Ferris Wheel, half-hoping to be heard over the music, the time reluctantly flying kites with him and the Son boys, after the storm, trying to patch up the house with whatever scraps of board they could find and in the bar, after watching her dancing with herself, alone but not lonely while Krillin sat there. Watching her.

But it was better than laughter, right? Than silence or pretending not to hear him or acknowledge his existence in anyway. It had to be better that Juuhachigou rolled her eyes with a sneering, "Shut up."

**465. "You're not gonna believe this. He killed 16 Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator." **

**"His house looked like shit!"**

It was easy to forget the power that Krillin did in fact possess.

Juuhachigou had never exactly let them forget that she could crush their heads in with her little finger. To the perverts, and Krillin. It was something she was always aware of, her own strength, and how much damage she could do to the world around her.

But it was only when she reminded Krillin of why the others so feared her that her odd friend gave her a crooked, reassuring smile. Crouched there next to her on the porch as they had countless times before. Why had she let anything the others might say hurt her anymore? How could she have faltered in anyway, when he was at her side, when he was here now to take her hand and never flinch away?

That smile was aimed not for her. "Juuhachigou. You think you're such a monster…but_ I've _killed more people than you have.

"I guess you haven't thought about it. But between Frieza's henchmen, and those demons Garlic Junior had-you know, my hands aren't entirely clean.

"Even though everyone was so afraid of you two, the worst you and your brother did was murder Gero. And well, after learning what he did to you, I wanted to kill him."

It was_ probably_ the wrong thing, to kiss him after such a confession. Even she knew that.

**466. ****you spent daydreaming about a night at her place**

Krillin was still walking around, as though gutshot. The tears hadn't finished drying on his face before more came. Every once in a while, he might dry-heave. "Why do we keep doing this to him?"

"Because it's funny." Then Juunanagou attempted, oddly, to backtrack. "Really, you're the one that keep finding more of these movies."

At least he had finally shut up about trying to ask her on a date.

**467. As Far As I Can Tell, While Others Go Through Hell, We're Too Cool For Damnation**

It might be the worst time, or the best for such an urge. Already, they'd lost friends. Videl refused to even believe that Gohan was dead, and Chi-Chi had to watch her husband leave her again. Last night, though she'd been careful and quiet as a mourning woman could be while watching her only child sleep, Juuhachigou had still heard Bulma weeping in her room. Down on Earth, people were being decimated in untold numbers.

A disaster that is familiar, but never on such a scale.

And regardless, Juuhachigou carefully turned her head away to ignore any reactions, and slipped her hand into Krillin's while they waited again for another day. Maybe she could still be that selfish, uncaring monster as something in her stomach gave a twinge of pleasure when he squeezed back.

**468. You were Born Too Soon, I Was Born Too Late**

It was everything he'd ever dreamed about, somehow.

As though his day hadn't already been going quite well, after having already found his perp, and was about to be handed his check, after a pleasant morning wake-up in an apartment that was becoming not so strange, finding the perfect quiet coffee place with the best chocolate croissants, his hair had never been so long and so frizzy-less, and had practically skipped here, perhaps catching the eye of a few pretty girls on this kind spring morning.

Seeing that old, yellowing poster was the cherry on this delicious Sunday.

Haughty still, unknowing what was to come. Hair longer. Doomed, in some tragic way. So they had been normal, somewhat. Nameless.

But still recognizable.

Wanted for…quite a list.

It wasn't such a big shock, to see them there. Hadn't that been in the back of his mind, that they would fall to a life of crime, no matter how hopefully petty? But these were _old_.

He nearly ripped it off the wall, but managed to slowly pull it carefully instead. To admire it, before doing the same to her brother's mug shot. A treasure. It had been months since he'd last seen either of them, and it could be an eternity until he saw them again, but Krillin had to hope again otherwise. If only to give them these.

"You know them?"

"Maybe." Carefully trying to keep them safe, as they were already falling towards disarray, Krillin was sliding them into a newspaper before the week-old date reminded him of other numbers.

The year required him to do some serious math. Some seriously disturbing math.

"She's how old?" How old could she be in this picture? More than eleven years old, if his previous guessing had been right. Was this them, really? Really? It couldn't be their parents…and what were the odds of cousins or even uncles and aunts sharing such looks? They had never known how long Gero had been working on the androids, after all. He and everyone else had assumed that only the future androids that had surely been destroyed by now might be a similar age.

But…_what the hell_? Even in this way, she had to find some way to be superior.

"She's _older _than I am?"

**469. Love Is Lying By Yourself, Alone, Awake, and Crying**

Krillin could barely pry his swollen eyes open anymore.

After a while, Master Roshi, Oolong, Turtle, Bulma, Yamcha, a nonplussed Vegeta, Chi-Chi and Gohan, stopped trying to drag him out of bed. They no longer even knocked at the door to ask how he was doing, c'mon, champ, let's get up and maybe take a shower and go for a shave.

Eventually, he stopped even noticing the sound of his own sobs echoing in the room. Lost in replaying certain memories of his failures, so many of them, and where everything had gone wrong, and what a fool he was.

Was it night again, or evening or morning?

He pulled a sheet over his head, and resolved not to care.

* * *

Juuhachigou had barely understood what was happened to her own face. Stupidly, she'd wondered if her eyes were bleeding, if she was dying, as that would explain the sucking pain in her chest and stomach.

It had been nothing, and yet she was making a low sound in her throat. Seeing her vision blur as her system informed her of what she already was aware of, and informing her that this was no virus or internal circuit failure.

Her brother was knocking at the door, asking what was wrong.

**470. You Keep My Hanging On The Edge of Time**

It was her daughter that kept her calm, really. That, and the knowledge that something larger was taking place. That, and the fact that there were still too many people here.

That, and Goku and Gohan and Piccolo would not let anything happen to Krillin, wherever they were. The strongest fighters were out there, with him, and he would be fine, come back with a joke and a smile and mussed hair. Maybe torn clothes that he'd whine about later, and then slap Goku on the back, 'man, I thought for a second there, we were all goners…' Another story to amuse her at some odd moment, something to tell Marron about later, should she ask.

Juuhachigou reminded herself of these facts, actual facts that were not built solely out of fear and unease.

At the least, what could she do? She'd never been able to detect ki, and

(is he dead, again? Is that why he wasn't here when Vegeta showed up to kill all those people?)

if she had, could she do anything about fighting someone that might have killed the others?

It was out of her hands, and for now, Juuhachigou had to crush that worm of fear before it began to grow larger and eat away at her. Strange, how she'd thought that Cell might be the worst thing she'd experienced. Feel the grass beneath her shoes and listen to Marron humming something and look at that idiot acting brave and tough. Image what she will do with her winnings, and how Krillin will react when he hears what she did, laugh and shake his head, 'have you no honor, woman?' Crisp bills in her hand to do whatever she wanted, and maybe they'd throw money at each other or make love on a pile of it like something out of a movie.

Hope that another minute has passed, and that Krillin will come back soon.

Keep the glare on her face, and her daughter at her side.

**471. That Was The Night We Kissed In The Moonlight**

Later, they could only curse Goten's tail and sequential transformation for the opportunity missed.

**472. I'll Probably End up Fucking Up and Make it Super Awkward**

At first, in a moment of brief calm insanity, Krillin thought that this might be for the best. Uncomfortable as it may be to even make eye contact, at least they weren't allowed to talk as they dodged blast from the howling thing that had once been a man, a Saiyan. That might be for the best, as meeting in a romantic restaurant would have stolen all the wit from his head and left him to stare and knock over something.

Why shouldn't they meet as they had every other time: fearing for the lives.

Only once had there been peace, and look at how that had gone.

The pressure here was something else, and perhaps he could even get in one blow and make himself look half-way helpful to her—then he was slipping on the ice, sliding on his ass, slipping further no matter how how tried otherwise, and yes, crashing straight into her, back on fire, feet smacking right into her legs and no matter how graceful she was, Juuhachigou was still on _ice_. Tangled, her head half in a snow bank, but not muffling her enough to block out the cursing of his name and very existence.

**473. We've got cul-de-sacs and barbeques in suburbia**

**Welcome to the rest of your life**

Of course, it's when the last few boxes were being opened, the contents reassembled on the shelves, that Juuhachigou realized what this growing pit in her stomach really was. Not fear, or excitement or joy.

It wasn't even that she already hated the neighbors, all of them with their slobbery dogs and questions and barbecues and thoughtless middle-class courtesies. Or the grass that already needed cutting, and Krillin's apparent new fear of the lawnmower. The streets that all looked alike, and why had she chosen to come here, and not somewhere near the city, West City near Bulma—because it was near Bulma. Thought at least that wouldn't involve something called a 'PTA meeting' or whether or not to enroll their daughter in piano and ballet already and Krillin already getting made fun of for supporting the loser sports teams. While she pinched herself and told herself that she was awake, as none of her dreams were ever this boring.

Krillin had shrugged when asked about the money. "It's yours. Blackmailed, fair and square."

Juuhachigou had simply grabbed a handful of hair that turned out to not be the humidity's fault after all. And had she been aware of the sound outside, the smell of salt, the creak of the old house further settling in? Or had she been too busy staring at his chest and feeling her toes curl just at the concept that no one else was home at the moment?

Marron had already begun drawing on the walls, ignoring her parent's cries.

Simply dug her own grave with that house guide and cards to so many real estate agents.

It was _dumb_, and that she hated the most.

"So, what's our excuse, Juu. How come we can even afford this place. You know, to explain why neither of us have jobs but can afford this place. I was thinking, self-made millionaires. No, trust fund. You have a trust fund. You have that look. It's the nose. Since we can't tell them the truth. Marron, c'mon, kid, you have paper for that."

This should have been the place. The right place. Maybe, no, of course not exactly what she'd pictured when first meeting Krillin, even in a more romantic light as she watched him getting thrown into a mountain by another of Gero's androids before she and her brother had shrugged and decided to step in. But there should have been some dim idea of marriage associated with houses with lawns for children to run though, something buried or perhaps learned anew from watching TV shows and movies of domestic life.

Krillin had been pleasant enough about it. Going from house to house, dealing with people who were desperate to sell, and keeping his bored grimaces to a minimum while having to learn about dry-rot. Moving all the boxes, after having filled them in the first place while she and Marron made sandcastles and told him to hurry up. Then painting the rooms the exact color they'd picked out on the first day, followed by taking Marron to the zoo afterwards and then having to christen the new room with Juuhachigou, on the box sprint still missing its frame.

She was being dumb, like a kid at summer camp; even her daughter had taken to that horrid ballet lesson with more grace. But still, she wanted to bawl and have a tantrum and to go _home_.

"Krillin."

Homesick, and wanting to listen to the ocean and hear the TV downstairs and the old man and the pig and her husband arguing over something asinine. The marks on the walls where they'd drawn Marron's height, probably giving her the idea that it was okay to right on the walls. The place she'd spent these last years with Krillin, if not the place she'd become aware that she was in love with him or the first place they'd made love (those were Capsule Corp's sprawling overgrown garden turned into a maze, and the Carnival Funhouse of Mirrors/Terror one night at the Satan Amusement Park in Satan City, respectfully).

"I think I made a mistake."

"Well, you should have labeled the boxes better."

"I want to go back to Kame House." Out there, floating around now: her regret.

Krillin grabbed her as they crouched around a box of dishes and crushed nightlights their daughter needed after Buu, and magazines that really had no business following them to this white-picketed place wrapped around the glass wear

"Oh, thank Dende."

She could feel her fingers again. "You're just relieved that you don't have to lie."

"No, I hate this place! I thought, it would be a good idea to live somewhere normal. I used to think I would get married and live someplace like this. But it's terrible. I hate being surrounded by people. They're always there. Walking their dogs, waving hello. Five times a day I have to wave at these people. Even people I like I don't see that much- am I being a jerk because I hate that?"

"Who cares? Just pack, and I'll tell Marron she never has to go to another ballet lesson again."

**474.****You get me through my current occupation**

His wife, the living light of his life, his darling and soulmate, the one to whom's bony shoulder Krillin rested his wary head on, and the mother to their child, neither asked, nor tried to stop him as he gathered his long cape close to him so it wouldn't get caught in the door. Juuhachigou hardly spared him a look up from watching Marron make another elaborate sand castle. Didn't say a word about his outfit, about where he'd gotten it, about why he would dress like that or even to ask where he might be going since Halloween was months away.

And Marron just waved goodbye to her impressively dressed father as he stood there, calling over his shoulder. "Have to go save Gohan!"

This impressively dressed father trying not to sound desperate, or angry, or _middle-aged_. "Don't wait up for me, honey!

"Don't wait up for me, honey!

"Don't worry, or anything, I've got this!

"By myself. All. By. Myself."

At least, if he died, it would be after completing his life goal. Krillin had married his love, fathered a child, and had lived a full life—several full lives. Best friends someone could have, after the murder attempts had, ended for the most part. Had even been to space too. There wasn't a lot Krillin could otherwise wish for. Maybe a nose…

Juuhachigou raised her drink, ice cubes clinks even from a distance. "Have a good time acting unnecessarily like a hero."

…if he did died, well, at least that would make Juuhachigou upset._ Caring_. She's be so upset, regretful, 'oh, how could those be the last words I said to him?!' then weep over his corpse. 'Why didn't I appreciate him when I could?' That would show her. 'I should have gone with him, and used my powers for good—not for blackmail or theft.'

His darling was all but sneering. "Let's hope this time you don't die again."

**475. I Feel I Know You Well. I Saw You Go Through Hell.**

For the hundredth or so time, Juuhachigou found herself forced to watch the strangers, her supposed enemies, fighting that large green alien. Again. Who could not be killed, no matter how hard the others tried. Repeatedly, she watched their doomed attempts over and over again, the child's growing rage. The Namek fading away, flickering. The short human throwing himself in danger's way to try and help the others, absurd remains of a suit being lost and revealing too much pasty skin

(had she, was she that light-skinned as well?)

that covered smooth swelling muscles that might be a distraction to another woman that was not about to drool for reasons entirely outside ogling someone.

Gero finally got to the point. "They were stronger, and yet they still lost."

Telling her and her twin, both strapped in and light-heated. Juuhachigou realized slowly, probably high on some pain meds from their latest surgery that allowed them to even see the movies they were to study. Perhaps she might not even remember any of this later. Perhaps she might not begin screaming this time, even after hearing Gero's voice some more.

A toneless voice asked, "I'm still not sure I quite understand the technique that the weak human performed at the end."

Had she been in different state of mind, she might have wondered, then dismissed, the possibility of any actual psychology consequences to this moment in particular.


	20. 476 thru 500

**Author's Note: There's not really much of an excuse as to why this took so long. Seriously. It stayed at about three-quarters of the way done, as evidenced with the holidays parts. When I wrote those, they were properly _seasonal_. Certain things just wouldn't click, and then this entire thing spiralled out of control and ended up over seventy pages. Now it's here. In time for Valentine's Day. And even that's belated. **

**Chapter Twenty, in which Juuhachigou teaches Krillin the meaning of the holidays, and vice versa, HS AU's, and Krillin gives Juuhachigou a haircut. **

**One more chapter to this collection.**

**Then I can start a whole new bunch of 'em.**

* * *

I am your vision, you can't escape.  
I am your rival, your mistake.  
I am your tease, taste my kiss.  
I am your fantasy, touch my bliss.  
I am your torture, I am your pain.  
I am your enemy, and your shame.  
I'm your lover, I'm your fighter.  
I'm your angel, your desire.  
I'm your life, I'm your death.  
You can feel me with every breath.  
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.  
Your understaff you ar

What do you want from me?  
What do you think you see?  
What passion bring this tragedy?  
Is saving me your strategy?  
One kiss, then I'm gone.  
One look, then I turn.

There's nothing to my soul.  
So blame me

I am torture, I am pain.  
I am your envy, I'm your insane.  
I am your lover, I am your fighter, your angel, your desire.  
I am your Anubis, I am your baby, I am your kiss.  
I am your life, I'm your death.  
You can feel every breath.  
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.  
Your Medusa, your cure.  
I'm your sensuality set before reality.  
With shining hair and glowing eyes, a pretty face.

That never dies.

What do you want from me?  
What do you think you see?  
What do you want from?  
What do you think you see?

You follow me too easily.  
There is so much that you don't know.  
There is more to me then what you see.  
So turn around and go.

Into your lover, I'm your fighter.  
I'm your angel, your desire.  
I'm your vision, you can't escape.  
I'm your rival, your mistake.  
I'm your tease, I'm your kiss.  
You remember, I'm your bliss.  
I'm your torturer, I'm your pain.  
I'm your agony and your shame.  
Your night is black, I'm your death.  
You can feel me with every breath.  
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.

Your medusa, you're my cure.  
I'm your beauty, you admire.  
I'm your passion, your desire.  
With giant hair and glowing eyes.  
A beautiful face that never dies.

No  
Oh  
Oh, can you see the part of me...  
Don't you see me.  
You even see.

What do you want from me?  
What do you think you see?  
Passion brings this tragedy.  
This secretly your strategy.  
Kiss then I'm gone.  
One look then I turn  
There is nothing to my soul.  
So baby I'm your girl.

What do you want from me?  
What do you think you see?

Don't fall from being too easy.  
There so much you don't know.  
There's part of me than what you see.  
So turn around and go.

Oh.  
I fall down from you.  
Oh.

**Bruce Faulconer-Android #18 The Android Sagas: **

**I guess in a way, Dr. Gero isn't all that bad though; after all, he did create one of my favorite characters. She's drop dead gorgeous and will drop you dead in your tracks … if you're not careful. She's a bit of a mystery, too, but that's always the case when you're falling for this hottie…right Krillin? Android 18! Hurt me!**

**And so does love conquer all? I guess we'll have to just wait and see…**

* * *

**476. "Fasten your drool cups, and ready your vomit bags! We're going to the movies! Frights, camera, action!"**

_-Crypt Keeper_, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Unfortunately, because she spent so much time in her prehistoric house that her brother built, Juuhachigou's dates were out of sync with reality. She'd_ thought_ it was the September twenty-first, but the rest of the world believed it was the thirty-first. Of October. Her internal calendar was finally checked, and she stood there in blue jeans. At least she'd been somewhat right about the season, though there was no excuse for only now taking in the fake spider webs that were strung up everywhere and those grinning jack o' lantern, cut so perfectly to resemble a familiar face, though the Namek never smiled like that.

The amount of them, so many pumpkins, on the porch struck her as odd. It gave her a bad feeling that no vegetable should have.

Juuhachigou didn't even have time to run or knock on the front door.

He nearly ran into her, again, in a way that she hoped for his sake was accidental. Krillin's hair stood was neatly combed, rather than his usual look of a man that had repeatedly jammed a finger in a socket. He was wearing loose clothes that she knew too well. He had finally reached his dream, and become Goku's long-lost little brother.

The effect was only partially murdered when he did a little twirl in place. "You like?"

"No. God no."

Juuhachigou could say, with a hundred percent honesty, that Krillin had never been less attractive.

"Are you coming trick or treating with us?"

Krillin didn't even give her a chance to reply.

"Oh!" He clapped his hands. "I know who you can be!"

The small human raced out of the room. Then he came back, bearing a pair of scuffed blue sneakers, a black shirt, and a long sleeved white one and some awful scarf.

Where the hell had even gotten this? Had he bought these, just waiting for the chance to spring them on her? Juuhachigou would rather not know.

"God, no."

But he was pushing the clothes into her hands. "It'll be fun. Besides, it's better to have backup when looking after these two."

That was when she noticed the two small children on his couch.

The little Son boy barely seemed aware of his surroundings, deadly serious about watching the TV screen, but Gohan waved, perfectly polite. Both in matching puppy costumes. From the candy bar wrappers spread around, they'd already begun to dig into-why the hell had they even bought candy? What child was going trick or treating all the way out here, besides these two? Why were they dressed up?

Why was she now suddenly dreading , regretting, coming out here for what definitely wasn't a date.

The news was on, and the blonde cyborg hoped for a breaking story about the tsunami headed this way. Maybe, maybe there would be a spontaneous war that broke out. The Black Plague was back, and with a vengeance. You heard it here first, on Action Five News, Halloween has been canceled. Poisoned candy. A rapist cannibal on the loose. Zombie uprising. Malfunctioning androids. Vegeta, finally snapped. Anything.

Or she could have left, right now, rather than see any more of the ancient turtle dressed as a mermaid, the old man and pig claiming that they were dressed as lifeguards. Better than her brother's suggestion last year that he was supposed to be the leader of a cult, and that was what was up with all the Kool-Aid stains. Juuhachigou could have shook her and walked away; Krillin would have forgiven her, if been disappointed.

"We'll go to a fancy party, and you can get drunk and eat an entire bag of candy!"

"You really know how to lay on the charm, Krillin."

Not stood there, and nodded and took the Sippy Cup for Goten in one hand, and let Krillin take the other to lead her from house to house. Together, they watched a ghost robbing a wolfman, and none of them did a thing, as they were currently struggling not to choke on their gumballs. With a sudden chill, at the thirteenth or thirtieth house, Juuhachigou realized people must think that they were a family. But even though that should have been enough to send her fleeing, she couldn't explain why she was dressed too-similarly to her twin brother and on some suburban street, on her knees and trying to tie Goku's son's shoes. Tugging at her ridiculous scarf. Listening and agreeing to go to Capsule Corp to meet up with the others for a party that someone was throwing.

Bulma was in a skintight orange skirt and a blue sweater, and unexpectedly, a pair of round glasses. Krillin had to shake his head. "Is that supposed to be a gi?"

"Yeah. I borrowed it from Yamcha."

"What's with the glasses? Are they part of the costume?"

"Are you supposed to be the smart Saiyan?

"They're new—I am not getting old. Shut up. They're only temporary."

Gohan piped in with, "I think they look nice, Bulma."

"Thanks, Gohan. See, someone has manners.

Krillin was smiling. "He's just being polite to get some food from your Mom. _Not_ that I can blame him."

"Better than Vegeta eating everything. He literally was eating a pumpkin. Raw. With his bare hands. I think there was still a candle in it."

They spotted him in the living room.

There was a grimness to the Saiyan, the way he ate and watched the screen. He had no problem with the premise of a doctor sewing three people together, and didn't blink at the method of how this doctor would attach them. Nor was there any response to Krillin making a fist and speaking into it, detailing that they were watching the elusive Saiyan Prince, not in its natural habitat, but even in captivity, wasn't it was sight, just wait until it fought with his mate for territorial claims of the land, coming up on Briefs Week, oh, _no, what was he watching, _what was_ happening _to those people?

She could only roll her eyes, still holding Goten's sticky hand. The other wanted to cover his eyes, but thankfully the child was enraptured by a giant orange cake. Juuhachigou let him run to it, the small boy embracing it like it was a reunion with his dead father, then went to wash her hands. Then got lost on the way, until a blonde gypsy woman pointed her in the right direction.

No sooner had she finally found the bathroom did an earthquake hit, shaking numerous pictures of Bulma and a miserable Vegeta off the walls. Thankfully, the plumbing still worked, though. Plus it seemed to clear out people, and that was usually a good thing in Juuhachigou's book.

But when she got back, everything was further shot to Hell.

Bulma was yelling at everyone and no one. About the party, about how pissed Vegeta was going to be once he slept off the candy and brandy and realized what had happened.

"I bet it was Vegeta! He did it to himself."

Bulma shook her head, curled hair falling into her face. "No! Not this time. It usually explodes, not implodes, when that happens."

"Maybe Son's wife? Chi-Chi? She isn't here."

"No way. She wouldn't do that." Krillin explained. "The last I saw her she was lying down after taking a few aspirin. You know, the kids have been eating sugar since this morning."

People from inside were grouping up, strangers, in costumes. She watched a bee and a Viking dance next to a grey-skinned alien clown that had seen better days. Serial killers and bikers and people in old-fashioned suits lounged with robots and ninjas. A zombie and a newscaster were making out while bedraggled man in ragged fur crying in the arms of a underdressed female sheriff. Behind these two, a dirty ghost was blatantly laughing at them all, drinking what had to be rum. Monsters. The scariest of which was that purple-haired weirdo boy, who was holding a child that's costume was apparently to look like this nutjob that ran away from her. Then came back, sans toddler, to yell at her and accuse her of mass murder, of evilness beyond definition, what was she even doing here, Krillin might fall for it, but_ he_ knew better—

Juuhachigou had to interject over any attempts at calming the annoying boy down. "Why do you have a sword? Still have a sword? What's your costume? Walking Idiocy?"

"No, that's yours!"

"I'm going to stick that sword- "

"- Hey, Trunks."

It was to him, with that blatant casualness and the thoughtfulness as Krillin handed her a drink, that the psycho turned his rage towards. "What is _she d_oing here, Krillin?"

"I invited her? Hey." The short man was all smiles and a tilted head. "I was looking all over for you. Where did you go?"

"_To murder a puppy_, I guess. I'm a diabolical madwoman, according to this freak."

"Aw, Trunks. C'mon. Can't we all get along?"

He looked, yes, like Bulma…after six espressos. An extremely unpleasant sight. "…Are you drunk?"

"Not really. But did you guys notice what happened to Vegeta's training chamber?"

Blue beady eyes with unsettlingly pale eyebrows measured her up; both of them remembering when she'd swung him into Vegeta, but only one smiling at that memory. "Where were_ you_, Juuhachigou?"

The blue-haired woman turned on her. "Yeah, we all know you hate Vegeta!"

"Who doesn't? But I wouldn't have done it." Then she corrected herself. "I wouldn't have lied about that anyway."

Krillin was pouting. "Juuhachi wouldn't have done that, you guys."

"Oh. '_Juuhachi_,' huh?"

"What? God, that's disgusting, Krillin."

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb. Maybe your girlfriend likes that, but we don't."

Juuhachigou's voice stayed deadly low. "_If you both keep talking, I'm going to stick that sword in_— "

"—here's your pastries, dear? Cake everyone?" The gypsy magically seemed to glide in, baring platters. "Oh, where is that _nice_ Roshi fellow, Krillin?"

She probably wasn't a mastermind, this woman, but Juuhachigou was instantly suspicious of her. How easily she got around without opening her eyes…at the least, it was unsettling.

Krillin shrugged, mouth only partially plugged with a Danish. "He said he would be here."

"Maybe it was the old man?"

"What? No way."

"Can't you just build anyone one?"

The scientist was shaking her head. "At this hour? No way. I wanted to spend tonight making fun of everyone's costume and having a drink."

Why even care about any of this? On the other hand, it could be a handy excuse to leave. 'I had to leave Krillin, and solve the_ mystery_. What, your friends didn't even want me there.' But he would make that face, and guilt-trip her. God, why wasn't she drunk yet? Get drunk and eat candy, just like Krillin had promised her. If she collapsed in a haze of alcohol poisoning and sugar, so be it; it would not be the first time, since she was being so honest with herself.

And of course, if the worse did happen and she finally did sloppily make out with Krillin, then that would just have to happen. They would deal with it like adults, and pretend it never happened the following morning. Just like the previous awkward stumbling times that hadn't occurred and had never meant anything anyway, no matter how Krillin looked to be moving closer, perhaps to finally make a move in front of people and when relatively sober. At least, at the very least, it wouldn't end with a complete mental breakdown as someone began vomiting and a voice repeating that it totally wasn't them, it was the alcohol that was the problem and there was no need to cry-

_"- Juuhachigou_?"

For the briefest moment, Juuhachigou had gotten away. But the place she'd gone really hadn't been any better. "What?"

"Are you coming?"

"Where? What?"

"We're going to investigate," Bulma explained. Because apparently that was a good logical reason.

"Help _Vegeta_? Why?"

"Well." Krillin's face was perfectly blank. "I guess you could stay here and mingle. Make some friends."

"Shut up."

He was all but beaming. Smug. Bastard. "Look at it this way, you're doing me a favor."

"Why would that make me feel better?"

"I'll owe you one."

"Ugh. Stop flirting. I don't need to picture your sex life."

The small, smug man stepped between the two woman. For his sake, Juuhachigou ignored him pushing her outstretched hands before they could find Bulma's neck. "Let me just find Gohan and Goten. I don't want to leave them alone."

"Because this place is such a death trap—actually, yeah, you should probably keep an eye on them. Hurry up. The only way there is through this path."

"What? Why can't we just fly?"

"You're not leaving me behind!"

"We'll carry you," Krillin assured her. Though he already had his hands full with Goten, who was convinced the man was a human jungle gym.

"In this skirt!?"

Outside, it was as dark and foggy as a swamp in a horror movie. As though nature hadn't cared that this was a bright building on square lot of plain grass in city on a temperate landmass.

If there was ever a house that could be haunted, it might as well be this place. People had been _resurrected _on that lawn. Alien had hung out here, perhaps performing an autopsy. Why not? And Vegeta and Bulma lived here. How could there not be something dark and unsane transferred into the very building itself? Inanimate object finally rebelling the laws of nature and physics.

"Why's it so foggy?"

"Fog machine broke."

"Why don't you just unplug it or turn it off?"

She flapped her arms. "_Can't find it."_

Krillin nearly fell over, and for a moment they lost him in the fog. Then he ran into Bulma, who had already slapped him before he could apologize. Ten seconds later, they lost him again when Juuhachigou's elbow lashed out at him. Waited five minutes for him to find them all. "Jeez, you _know_ that wasn't intentional."

If only it were foggier to keep her from having to look at him. "Why don't we hold hands so no one gets lost?"

That was when Goten walked into the rusted van and sent it flying back a good ten feet. Thank god.

"I guess we can use that to find out way. Floodlights. Even though I have no idea how that even ended up in the _backyard_."

The time really had passed. Why even bother trying to slip away in the fog? There wouldn't be any over-the-pants drunken groping in some dark corner, for better or worse. They would do nothing, help no one, and have to watch two children the entire time. Sneak candy and deal with his annoying friends. Like they were _married_. Married for years, and in a rut, and they hadn't even seen each other naked. Technically. Outside of some video files she would never mention to Krillin. Juuhachigou would prefer not to even contemplate the supposed 'courting' that had happened.

It would have been easy to just sit in the back, but she wanted even the tiniest shred of control. Over something. "Just let me drive then."

"Uuuh."

"No way, Juu."

"Not after last time you tried to drive."

"…you weren't even there!"

Bulma was pushing her away from the driver door. "We all heard about it."

Ignoring the melodramatic faces from Krillin, her own sudden unease, she easily shoved the human woman aside. "No. Shut up_. I'm_ driving. _Move_. I have better eye sight than either of you."

Objectively, Juuhachigou would be the better driver. Never mind all the times before. Unless she decided to really drive the car into Capsule Corp and through the building. Guess we can't help Vegeta anyway. But why give someone the satisfaction of proving she was a bad driver, why allow Krillin to be right about everything and justify the clenched jaw and theatric gulping?

It wasn't under she was searching for the keys and finding them on under the visor that the blonde cyborg understood her own reluctance.

It finally happened. She was in an oddly familiar van, with a 'genius,' a loyal, dopey sidekick and a dog, solving mysteries.

Juuhachigou tore off the scarf and felt better for it.

Krillin was not helping. As always. Gently, annoyingly, needlessly, he touched her arm. "At least this time I'm not throwing up and you're not crying."

"What?"

_"Shut up_."

She would have gladly thrown them all through the windshield.

But the she would have to watch the two children, one of whom was getting cranky.

"Is this really necessary, you guys? Can't we go back inside?"

A reasonable request that Juuhachigou might have backed up if not for the figure caught in the headlights. Eyes like a psychotic deer. She knew exactly who that shape belonged to, and thought for a good ten seconds about whether or not to slow down. Until Krillin finally told her to stop, please, it won't even hurt him, and you know it.

Blinded, Vegeta stumbled around to the side of the van. Pounding the doors. "Woman, _what the hell did you do_?"

"To what?!" Bulma called.

"I know you did it. Because of that damn sauce you- "

Then he seemed to remember there were others nearby.

At least she and Krillin had not fallen that far down the rabbit hole.

"We'll talk about it_ later_, Vegeta. Right now we're trying to find out what happened to your training chamber. You know. The one you supposedly didn't blow up. The first _ever _you didn't destroy?"

"Aren't there security tapes? Why don't you check those?"

As glad as she was to not have to look Vegeta in the eye, it was disgusting to see him and Bulma shifting their gazes away. To see that and know why they were determined to be silent even when Gohan and Krillin continued to ask them what had happened.

"We broke them. Let's leave it at that. Vegeta's fault, anyway."

The Saiyan let it go. "I expect it to be repaired tomorrow, woman."

Then he disappeared into the fog, ignoring his partner's cursing. Though he did answer one of the questions that Bulma asked, one he didn't think was unnecessary after all, about whether or not he knew where either of their children were. "_Who cares_?"

"You know how easily Older Trunks gets lost!"

Juuhachigou attempted backing up. "Well. This has been a lot of fun. Now how about we go back inside and— "

"This isn't about you finding any excuse you can to be alone with Krillin, Juuhachigou!"

_Murder _her.

"We need to make sure this wasn't an attack on Capsule Corp. For all we know this was something aimed at the entire company. Maybe it's some evil space emperor. Again. Or an evil space pirate. Remember them, huh, Krillin. Hah, and you tried flirting with that female one—"

"Bulma!"

Impossible to muzzle her. "Only she tried to_ kill_ you. I guess your bad-girl fetish finally-"

"Would you knock it off?"

"Anyway. You two can make out later."

The small man refused to stop digging himself in deeper. "Like you didn't want to jump on that Zarbon guy! The man was _evil,_ Bulma. And you and _Vegeta_! What the hell was that?"

"None of your business," she informed him with quiet dignity.

"Sure. Now it's none of my business. Until you try to kick Vegeta out and send him to my house. Then you just love sharing details no one wants to hear! Really, Bulma, you just keep talking about personal details and then I have to act like I don't know horrible things about the guy…"

"Yeah, what about you and that Maron, huh, what about that? You were practically bragging. Every time we saw you together. That dumb message on the answering machine. I bet you never got to second base!"

"Yeah, well! Yamcha told me all about you two! What you did to him!"

"I—what _I_ did to _him_—"

"The roleplaying was pretty horrifying," the cyborg slipped in.

"What the hell _do you_ know about it?"

"Gero's programming was very thorough."

Bulma was an unpleasant person to back into a corner. "Then why are you dating Krillin then? You've seen his track record when it comes to women."

"_What_ women?"

"I guess he can put some lipstick on his left hand and name it."

"Call it Goku, I bet."

She and Bulma had to share a laugh.

"- You two are_ awful_. There are_ children_ here. Children of _Goku_. Horrible. And, and, you Bulma, are the one to name things after Goku. Like we didn't all know about the crush you had. Everyone but Vegeta. Huh. How do you think he'd feel hearing about that?"

She turned in her seat, a fury of curly hair. "Are you trying to blackmail _me_? You want to play that game, little man? I used to live with you on Kame House."

"Yeah, I remember that. _Very. Well."_

Juuhachigou had to speak up. "What the hell is wrong with you both? You think anyone want to hear about either of your pathetic lives?"

"No," Krillin allowed. "But it's Bulma's fault. She started it."

"Stuff it. And if anyone has a pathetic life, it's you two."

"Both of you need to shut your mouths or I swear." Juuhachigou said, determined to not murder anyone tonight. To let things pass, and pretend she wasn't here. Just like Gohan and his little brother in the back, who had to listen to this. "…and who is 'Maron'?"

"A…it's not important. Gero didn't even include it. It was so miniscule."

Bulma backed him up. "No, it isn't. No one, really. Really…god, but she was so stupid. How could you date someone like that, Krillin? Did that chest really make up for everything else?"

That was when their conversation was broken up by a huge crunch of broken cement and cinderblock and destroyed metal.

"Did you just total this van, Juu?"

"Told you she shouldn't drive," Briefs muttered.

"Shut up! You both distracted me!" Satisfying, to rip out the steering wheel and send it flying.

"Calm down. Haven't even told you about that Mint girl."

"_What?"_

"Oh, come on." Krillin was opening the doors and helping Goten out. "We're leaving. Let's go, kids. We can find some candy and leave Bulma to her craziness."

"You're not leaving me to this mess."

"Oh, fine, just go and get some over-the-pants action. I don't even care." She heaved a sigh. "Let's go in. I should probably find my kids."

"Yeah, especially Future Trunks. Remember when he got lost in the basement. I can't believe the stuff you have under there."

"Oh, it's just a few experiments. The cloning thing went nowhere. No, it went somewhere, and we still can't find it."

"I think it was the stuff with the uh, androids that freaked him out more."

"It seemed a waste to let Gero's work go to waste. No, calm down, I abandoned it. It wouldn't matter even if I got it all working and used it to help us fight. Krillin would just fall in love with it and insist on letting it go free. Yeah, even if was responsible for the possible destruction of the entire universe. He, oh, yeah, would not use a _remote _on_ it_, or anything that might help all of us out. Not _save the world_." She left them in the kitchen with that, taking the kids that looked very uncomfortable at this point.

Leaving her with guilt that she had no reason to feel. She wanted a candy bar and a beer and to sulk away in a dark corner.

Not have him taking her hand. "Juuhachigou. I have no regrets. You know that, right? That I did the right thing."

Something flickered through her stomach. Might have echoed on her face, because he was moving in closer against a wall.

"I don't suppose there's any chance. Uh. We might have a second alone. To talk._ Later_."

If only she didn't know that warmth in his black eyes and what it meant. And feel her own face flushing. "I don't_ know_. What exactly is it you have to say that can only be uttered when we're entirely alone?"

Krillin made a face, scratching his chin in though. "It doesn't have to be when we're alone. Just depends on how modest you're feeling."

"Ugh. Shut up. You two aren't alone." The last voice she expected. Completely ruining the mood, and thank god he'd spoken up before something worse had been said. Or done. How long had he been standing there in the doorway? He tossed back some chips from a nearby bowl by the over, and Juuhachigou hoped he choked.

"_Juunanagou_?" Already, a layer of sweat was breaking out over a pasty face. "We. Uh were talking about our plan. For helping Bulma. She's in a bad mood. _That's all_. Juuhachigou is here because it's a party. Like why you're here. You were invited too. Totally. Just a bunch of friends hanging out. Yeeah, hey there. Bulma! _Bulma_! Over _here_. No, get over here. Yeah. You too, Trunks. No, don't hurt anyone.

"See. Just friends."

None of them could look each other in the eye.

"What are you even doing here? If you had any brains, you'd have stayed away."

"Like you? Oh, that Briefs woman pissed because of that training capsule I blew up?"

The Briefs woman came close enough to hear that. "It was _you_? Why?"

"Revenge. Someone took my van. You know, sis. The one I left at Sons' house?"

Goddamnit.

"How did it get here?"

Bulma's eyes shifted. "Chi-Chi lent it to me. We, uh, figured out it was yours. Just keeping it to study."

Krillin was more upset than necessary. "What could there be to study?"

"Skin cells."

No, the small man just had a better idea of his friend's psyche. "Ugh."

"It was for science."

"I don't even want to know." She could have slipped away into that fog. Like nothing happened. Forever. Perfect time.

"I should sic Vegeta on you. Or Trunks. He'd be happy for the chance. Look at him. Why did you even say anything?"

"Had to shut that dweeb up somehow."

"Ouch, did you hear them talking dirty to each other. Gross. Understandable that would have driven you crazy."

The purple-haired man just had to make a face, and Krillin was trying for a silent, wounded dignity with his crossed arms and stare away from them all.

Juuhachigou would have gladly taken a butcher knife to them all. "That's not what happened! He _is _crazy, though."

"Yeah. I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for my annoying sister. And her dorky boyfriend."

**477. ****I Said I Was Into You, You Said You Were Into Me**

"Alright."

"_Fine_."

Like responsible adults, they backed away from each other. It wasn't anything like Krillin must have expected his confession of love to go. Juuhachigou herself wasn't sure if it was good or bad that there wasn't anything more dramatic, one of them almost dying or _something_, but maybe it was for the best that there was no hugging or tears on the short man's side. Or from hers, given her shifting emotions lately. They watched each other carefully, avoiding outright eye contract. All but sniffing in disdain. She even crossed her arms.

"Want to go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Fine."

_"Alright_."

**478. But I Swore I'm Done With Humans**

It felt like _cheating_.

That's how deep he'd fallen.

He had taken note of other woman, after meeting Juuhachigou. Of course Krillin had; he wasn't stupid. It had been an impossibility. Down to his soul that had been husked out since he'd seen her for what he'd thought would be the last time: cornered by Cell and helpless. Even as he found himself alone, watching Goku and his family, and thinking of how afraid she'd been, and wondering what part of Otherworld she was in, Krillin had known the truth. It had been a forgone conclusion that there would be no joining, a _we_, but someone or something that would keep them separate.

But after that second, her turn back, the glance, she'd given him another new and terrible gift, not unlike that kiss.

His heart had taken that plunge with her, forever now in her small, horrifyingly strong hands. Her hands that he should have spent more time memorizing the span of fingers and width of palms before they might slip from his memory as another day passed. They were, must be, a little like the ones before him, near the candle. Enough.

Not enough.

But they will have to be.

Wasn't he lucky to have any girl across the table from him? Someone that looked concerned. A woman that he would never wonder was real or not. There will be a new pair of eyes to fall into, and a pretty head that will contain thoughts that Krillin will want to know every detail about, and want to sooth that wrinkle in-between dark eyebrows.

They will fit; he will want it to work.

"Krillin? Are you alright?"

**479. ****I Got No Money  
**

There haven't been many moments of self-awareness, in this haze that had consumed him. But this had to be one, this thing that suddenly stabbed at him.

Ever since Juuhachigou had decided to stop by and effectively never leave. In fact, neither of them had left this room in quite some time. Why leave this bed, if neither needed to go to the bathroom. There had been some provisions, and that was all they'd needed—things that she'd brought in a backpack that looked ridiculously cute on her, but now only reminded him of perhaps this minor arrested development that they both might be suffering for.

They hadn't even been kids playing house, as Goten might do with his toys before Trunks would run over the dollhouse with his mother's car—to Bulma's freakout and the dark-haired boy's tears. Even getting to the kitchen was a voyage Krillin had been on since last Tuesday, maybe. It was easier to lose himself in the reverie and study of Juuhachigou. The brightness of her hair to the backs of her knees to her smile and cheekbones and delicate pink of under soles and squirming toes. Neither had even thought of cleaning or inviting others for a tea party or noticing anyone else but each other.

Six days like this.

But here it was, the sudden wakeup.

Krillin nudged Juuhachigou off him the best he could considering their limited sleeping arrangement of a mattress pad and sheets that needed to be changed and pillows that had slipped away, reaching for the itemized and official bill that had been slipped under the door. It listed things such as the rent he was now being charged for, hot water he'd used, for the damages that had been incurred by him over the last couple of days, thanks specifically to his new girlfriend.

He was thirty-two-years-old and now expected to pull his own weight by paying this bill.

And realizing that he couldn't.

**480. ****Your Pretty Face is Soaked in Blood (You Know I Still Find You Dashing)  
**

She awoke atop a cliff with the closest person to her looking dead.

Very dead.

No, more than _looking;_ he was definitely dead. You could not live with a hole in your chest big enough to shove your fist through. Two fists.

Juuhachigou knew him, roughly. Well, she had swung another man into him anyway, and he'd attacked her with a _sword_, of all things. Screaming about his father while she beat the living hell out of Vegeta—she didn't know what that was even about. Didn't want to know what that could be about.

Her clothes were_ damp_. Her newish clothes stolen from a decent mall with disappointingly un-fun security, they had recently been wet for some reason she could not even begin to guess.

Then she noticed that besides her feet, the dead man—boy-his ridiculous purple hair was moving, shifting, and oh, the ground was shaking. Juuhachigou turned her head, and finally noticed the gigantic balls of ki that were currently interlocked. Even without being able to sense energy, she knew that this was more than she could ever hope to produce, to fight, to defend against.

Alright.

That was a thing.

This was the second worst awakening she could remember having.

Or was this another nightmare?

Cell had been descending on her, the cyborg knew. One last gift from Gero. Her brother, the ringleader, she herself might have called him laughingly, already taken and devoured. Juurokugou had been injured, and why not assume he too was dead. Would Cell have spared him, for some reason? Or would the others have destroyed him for what he might have done? Because they couldn't kill Gero's strongest weapon?

The smart thing would be to fly away.

The cyborg also knew the people down there.

One of them was the Son boy, Gohan, injured and bloodied, but seemingly holding his own against Cell. His own energy was far beyond anything Gero had offered to share in the databases, had only hinted about, mentioned how Goku's son had bouts of sudden strength that came with fleeting rages. For now. It couldn't last; he was just a _boy_, Saiyan or not. Even now, Juuhachigou could see how he was faltering. Soon to crumble before the creature on the other side of this battling energy.

She could nearly hear the gloating from Cell now, right before he crushed the remaining fighters.

There_ they_ were, barely able to stand. The Namek who had been so eager to fight them, was still on his feet. All rage and howls she could nearly hear. With fresh eyes, the blonde cyborg in drying clothes could see the Saiyan Prince by the Son boy, fallen if not yet dead. The useless humans, more casualties, that looked ready to collapse. Sheer will was the only thing keeping them still going, all of them, and she felt a moment of what half respect and half disdain for all these men.

That one right there she knew all too well.

She didn't know the name she'd been born with, how much of her memory had been programmed into her, if she'd ever had a mother and father let alone what they'd looked like. But Juuhachigou did know pathetic when she saw it. And there it stood. All short and bruised. Worse condition she'd actually seen him in (in person anyway). At least he wasn't trembling and shaking so much. Was actually still alive, if looking like he'd rather just collapse and lay there like the wounded animal he was.

The last time Juuhachigou had seen him, Krillin had, what, been preparing to fight for her? Right before they'd both been blinded. Even then, she'd heard him stepping in front of her to block Cell. Fruitless and dumb, but yes, brave. Stupid. He was so_ stupid_, trying to crawl and get back up. A swatted insect that needed to learn to play dead, and was that something to be proud of or another mark of where his intelligence lacked?

She _knew _that. That was why he hadn't used that remote. If he had, they wouldn't be there, none of this would have happened. The galaxy wouldn't be in the hands of an injured child—and the blonde cyborg knew that Krillin must hold himself accountable for all this. Was that why he still fought? For absolution?

Not that she could leave either. She couldn't fight Cell, but wanted to not die running. Hadn't she fought Cell, at the end? No matter what else Juuhachigou might have been in another life, she was still a warrior.

At least there were only limited morbid thoughts right now. Nothing about her last breath or that she would die not alongside her twin but among those she'd wanted to kill not-so-long-ago or how short and stupid this, no, her entire life had been, that she had never escape Gero no matter how many times she might replay his death in her mind. Or maybe to worry about what had happened to Juurokugou and _where the hell_ was Goku for that matter.

It felt good to move, and to feel her ki rising, to look out onto the battlefield. It would be funny to see his face when she snuck up behind him. Maybe she might have time to get a few punches to that bruised face if only to make sure he damn well knew how badly he'd fucked up before this entire planet was blown apart. Juuhachigou could nearly smile.

There was still, after all, her self-destruction device.

**481. White meat, dark meat**

**You just can't lose**

**I fell off my moped**

**And I got a bruise**

**Turkey in the oven**

**And the buns in the toaster**

She'd nearly ducked into the stack of wine, headfirst, to avoid them all. An instinct bred from battle, and common sense. But the damn cart had gotten in the way, and she'd still been partially stunned by the sight of Krillin serenading a turkey to the amusement of a blonde woman clapping politely and an exhausted blue-haired lady that Juuhachigou did know, if not personally, that was half-passed out against the display of corn based stuffing.

Juuhachigou hardly had the chance to slap a normal expression on her face as he jumped in front of her.

"Juuhachigou?!"

There were too many people; if she blasted through the roof, someone might get hurt, and it would be her that would be blamed. Not the stalker that didn't know whether to hug her or not. With a dumb pair of surprisingly normal slacks and a hideous orange sweater because Krillin just couldn't help himself. His eyes, black, shone like an animal's would when finding its master. Juuhachigou wanted to hand him a bone to gnaw on so he'd at least look away. Go fetch, boy.

It had been six months, and this reaction was completely unwarranted.

At least he did not hug her. Yes, at least there was that.

The way he nearly ran to Bulma was like a child. All but jumping up and down. "Bulma—this is Juuhachigou. Remember?"

The eyes were bleary, still smeared from last night's eye shadow. Her hair needed a wash, and her skin was marked not by tattoos but from color markers. On her designer silk shirt, the stains were either of wine or cranberry sauce. On her back, a dirty child wailed. If Juuhachigou had ever, _ever_, considered settling down in a so-called normal human life with its expectations of a husband and a child (and she had not), this alone would have persuaded her otherwise. "What? Who?"

A blonde woman by Brief's side was both closer to reality, and not. "It's so _nice_ to meet you."

Juuhachigou began to look for her brother, as she never had aside from that brief period after Cell when she'd been completely alone. But he was never around when she might need even so much as a distraction. Right now, she could just run away. Escape. Strange, bizarre, undignified, but at least she wouldn't have to attempt conversation.

"Can she come along? With her…" Krillin was looking at her. As though she had even said that she might want to come along with him. Had she even said anything to him?

"…_Brother_?"

"Yeah, what the hell? Why not? I'm cooking for everyone else!"

"Thanks, Bulma! So, do you want to come, Juuhachigou? It's going to be great. Unless, you know, you already have plans." The cyborg watched every nervous gesture this strange man made with his fingers. "With your twin brother. Or maybe, _I don't know_, someone special you had plans with."

That was when her brother finally immerged from a throng of people digging through a stack of green beans. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"Why? I'm still looking for the yogurt. Oh, hi, Krillin."

Juunanagou just had to play innocent. For the ninetieth time, Juuhachigou wished she could strangle him by that scarf. How dare he act like he had no idea what was going on. Act confused. Bastard.

No one had ever been more polite to her twin. "Hello, Juunanagou. How've you been? I was just inviting your sister to Thanksgiving. I know it's short notice, but would you like to share the holiday with us?"

Now was the chance to escape. Throw a pie into Krillin's face and flee. 'We'll share it with you _in Hell_!' 'No way creepy loser would we want to spend a single second more anywhere in the vicinity of you and your idiot friends.' By the time the shrimp realized what was happening, they would be long gone.

* * *

She had to hold the pumpkin pie in her lap the entire trip there.

All while listening to Bulma complain about this entire event. "This should be Chi-Chi's job! So what if she was pregnant? Did a little morning sickness ever hurt anyone? No? I didn't think so. It never mattered before that her house is too small. This is such a clusterfuck. So last minute. Even my Mom can only do so much.

"How much time did they give me? Uh, let's see, oh, it's five now. So _that_ was a great forty-five minutes of warning! And of course everyone can _fly_. God forbid I get some prep time.

"And don't tell me that you're going to help. Everyone says they're going to help, but then they wind up in front of the TV to watch the damn parade. No one even cares about that crap. It's, you know what it is, it's just _avoidance._ 'Stuff the turkey? What, but I'm watching this.' Bastards.

"I was up until three A.M. last night. Doing _work_. Does anyone care? You think Vegeta offered to babysit to make things easier? Of course not. He says to me to 'watch the brat' because he's _so _busy—doing _what_, watching a wall? He hasn't even trained in months. All he does is mope and act so superior because, I guess, he managed to put on pants today. Turned on the TV. _Bravo._

"You know what's going to happen to, when it comes down to it? No one's even going to properly eat. There's no way this is enough. Not for all of us. Have you seen_ them _eat? They'll finish this off in fifteen minutes, then we'll have to go to whatever restaurant hasn't banned us all yet. What's even the point?

"You better damn well help. You and your twin. He can at least babysit. Thank god you two are too skinny to do too much damage.

"How the hell am I going to cook this turkey?

"Why am I even doing this? None of them are even grateful."

All Juuhachigou could do was nod.

At least she wasn't stuck watching the baby, like Juunanagou was. The baby that was still in diapers, and loved to pull long hair and to scream and hit everyone without reach with its rattle. Who had taken a shining to Juunanagou and wanted nothing more than to sit on his lap and stink and scream for no reason whatsoever. All for her twin brother, under the careful, groping eye of Bulma's mother, who saw nothing wrong with squeezing the android's cheeks and proclaiming them absolutely_ ador-aah-ble_.

…and Krillin better not think she hadn't seen his little grin and nod over that description.

She couldn't even ask herself what she was doing here. It _was _all so pointless. If she started to ask herself questions, where would they end? They would turn existential, and eventually Juuhachigou would wish she had that device still implanted inside her and then would turn to raging at Krillin—who sat right behind her, dodging the infant and Juunanagou's attempts at handing it over.

It would be easy to turn around and punch him, but what would that accomplish, in the end. Besides the joyful personal satisfaction of seeing Krillin in pain.

Capsule Corp was nice enough, Juuhachigou would allow. Large, anyway, if lifeless and a tacky pale yellow. The lawn was completely without charm, although she did think the large topiary animals that had been so crudely arranged was kind of funny. Nowhere near as scary as she had been told, and had pictured from Bulma's description of this place that had turned into a place where it was every human for themselves. Even having to drag bags inside and hearing of the drudgery that would follow she'd thought it would be mostly exaggeration.

Until she got inside, still holding this damn pie.

Krillin was attempting to act the gentleman with the others, offering to take off jackets and hang them. Awkwardly standing there when he reached her and realized that she didn't have a coat. The man had no idea what to do with his hands. "Uh, can I get you something? A drink?"

She didn't even _like_ pumpkin pie, it occurred to her now.

"I'm going to need a large one, aren't I." The first thing she'd said to him. And something that could be construed as being fraught with Freudian implications. Would she spend the rest of the evening having to consider every word out of discomfort that she might lead him on? As though Krillin needed any encouragement.

"Sure, I'll find something—" He spend off in some direction while she could only stand there and watch her brother being whisked away with the baby still clinging to him.

Now. While no one was watching. Just open that door and slip away. Put down the damn pie and get out. So what if Juunanagou was still trapped here; she had left him to die once before.

"- Juuhachigou." Despite the cape and green skin, she hadn't even seen him sneak up.

"Piccolo."

They stared at each other, and Juuhachigou tried to pinpoint the last time they'd seen each other. When he'd been fighting with her brother, right before they'd both gotten their asses handed to them by a giant cicada? Or after that hideous bug had removed her from himself, apparently -wait, hadn't Piccolo said that Krillin had taken care of her after Cell had 'spat her out'? Of course Cell had, and Krillin had 'taken care of her' and Piccolo had last seen her…in that white tiled place, telling that bonehead off and then revealing that she didn't entirely despise him and might in fact not hate seeing him again.

God, she'd been so mistaken about that fact.

Why should she feel sweat on her neck and worry in some aimless way of what he might say to her. Why waste any energy on that? He didn't look ready to murder her. Not yet. It wasn't like she'd insulted his absurd turban or how obvious it was he'd become a father to the Son boy, or hadn't said something truly cruel about his ridiculous friends, especially that dweeb that had definitely built up some inane idea of her and had made his interest in her so apparent. Yeah, Juuhachigou would probably have to set Krillin straight on matters, but she hadn't yet, so there was no reason why anyone here would want revenge. There were hardly any serious plans to burn this building down with the people still inside. Hadn't even been the one to murder Goku.

No, no, it was definitely uncomfortable now.

This silence had gone on unspeakably long.

Why was he even here? Didn't he hate humanity as well? Could he even eat turkey? Her files were vague about that…but not about everything.

_Wasn't he capable of reading minds_?

"Hey, Piccolo!" There was no need to wonder if she had ever been so glad to see Krillin. "Here Juuhachigou, I got you this."

The mug was a lifeline, until she took a sip. "Is this hot chocolate?"

"Uh-huh."

Disappointingly virginal. Like the rest of Krillin's life.

God, she had to stop.

He stood there, polite and eager and in a dumb sweater. "Can I can give you a tour?"

"Yeah, sure. That sounds fine."

At this point, Juuhachigou would have followed him into a closet to escape that alien's look. And given the sudden decidedly strange look Krillin was giving her over the eagerness of her response, she would have to put that claim to the test. Seriously. What was that look? Too narrow and serious, considering. Considering what, what base he could get to right now before she beat him into a bloody pulp that no one could recognize, wondering if he could ask her to make out before Bulma found them and demanded they help with the yams.

And now they were alone.

Really, there was no one anywhere.

"Are your friends already here?"

Had Krillin someone gotten word ahead and told all the people that had to be here to clear out.

"Oh, yeah, they should be here." He laughed. "Maybe they're hiding in the closets from Bulma."

The wall at least was lined with pictures of usually Bulma, some of which were humiliating and other illuminating. Things like when she'd had braces, which even Gero had neglected to mention. Even ones featuring Goku, who could not be embarrassed, and sometimes Krillin, who had somehow been even shorter at some point. Vegeta looked awful in every single snapshot.

"So, this is the right East hallway. Most of it."

Okay. This hallway had nothing but rooms with comfortable looking beds. To say anything about that was impossible. She couldn't put more ideas into his head. Probably, _literally,_ could not add more fantasies to that round head.

'Boy, there sure are a lot of_ beds_ here.'

'Yeah. I guess. So what?'

'Oh, I don't know. Why are you dragging me around to show off _beds_. Beds that two people could fit on. As in us. As in you think I'm going to hop in bed with you. Generally thinking that we're going to screw around right now-but especially thinking about it in a house filled with your friends.'

Piccolo better not be listening in here.

"Maybe we should go help your friend."

"Oh, sure. I think I hear the others around here somewhere. There's only be so much I could share with you on this tour right now anyway. The good stuff is usually hidden away from the public."

…Had Krillin just winked at her?

Juuhachigou wanted Piccolo's mind reading abilities. No, wait, she didn't.

Even though she'd never set foot in this place, had no maps of it installed, she still just about led Krillin to the sanity of the kitchen. It was chaos, with a woman weeping in the corner, flour everywhere and it looked like someone had tried to put a can of cranberries in the microwave from the amount of smeared red on the walls and the state of the appliance that rest there on burned marble, smoking. Gohan was there, sitting at a small table, giving a hundred-yard stare to the plate of burned rolls.

Yamcha was the first to notice. To look up from the gravy bowl and greet them. Damn him a hundred slow deaths for that sudden smirk.

"Hey, there, Krillin."

All but patting Krillin on the back.

"So, should I give my congratulations or—"

Juuhachigou wasn't sure where she'd even grabbed the butcher knife. "If you finish that sentence, I'll _make sure_ you never—"

"No, Juuhachigou."

"I was just complimenting the sweater!"

"He was, I swear! I thought I'd lost it!"

"_Fine._ Let go."

Now Krillin flinched when she turned the knife on him.

And no one was even giving them a second look.

Disturbing, how the shorter man was almost grimacing, and then trying to smile at her. He finally let go. "I think dinner's coming along here. We could go into the living room."

We.

Goddamnit, where was her brother? He should be here, his dumb smirky face should be here to at least offer the possibility of more room between her and Krillin. Even if he didn't want to ease her suffering and leave, or at least make sarcastic comments to him about everyone else here.

There were pictures lining the walls, and Krillin was pointing out each one. Going on and on. Blabbering, at this point, his nervousness setting Juuhachigou on edge to the point of nearly grinding her teeth. Which must have only made him all the more anxious.

Of course no one came out to help either of them.

When they found the TV, it was really a blessing. It didn't matter what was on the screen so long as it filled the silence. Or that Krillin had to pick it up to put it on the counter facing the table. And that her gaze had slipped downward during this brief period which he couldn't have been able to notice.

The balloon floats really were as dumb and boring as Bulma had spoken of, and Juuhachigou could feel her eyes glazing over. While Krillin sat never to her, all but bouncing up and down on the seat. The cyborg could all but see him going through his head for something to say that would kickstart the conversation and not leave either of them avoiding eye contact as that snapshot of him shirtless and drunk outside a bar with his friends and making his best leering expression at the camera had done to Juuhachigou. 'I don't understand why they even put that on a wall.'

…And he'd been staring at her for maybe the last five minutes.

Disturbing, the look Krillin was giving her. Really trying to focus on her. Right into her eyes. "What exactly do you think about the socio-economical factors of us celebrating this holiday?"

"What?"

"Or are you okay with it, because you're from the north?"

"_What_?"

"I mean, you look northern. Or half-anyway. Are you from North City, or West City?"

All she wanted was to drive a finger through his throat, beneath the Adam's apple/ "I have no idea."

"You don't know?"

"How stupid are you? Gero removed our memories. What, did you think we enjoyed being named after _numbers_?"

Sinking down another few inches, Krillin looked ready to go all the way and slide under the table to get away. "I'm sorry. Gosh. I had no idea. Is there any chance that I could help?"

"How could _you_ help?"

"Maybe, maybe I could find some way of tracking down…someone that might know." He looked up from his hands. "There's still a chance that you could find that out. We'd all help."

Was he moving in closer?

"We would."

Gohan was the first to wander out and join them. Technically. He still seemed gone, and she was not reassured by remembering that he was the strongest person in the universe.

Bulma had achieved some victory. For having them all together, and without an outright murder yet. This forceful familial bond that the scientist had crafted and chained these people together with. She was the bond that brought them together it seemed, not Goku. Why she wanted this, why she cared about that, was beyond Juuhachigou.

She swore, this time, Yamcha had definitely winked at an exasperated Krillin.

Chi-Chi was arguing with Tien, and Juuhachigou remembered ransacking the Son house. Outside her brother and Juurokugou had waited, and she had found her own delinquency of turning over furniture and laughing at bad clothes and flushing birth control pills. Then she noticed the other woman's stomach. Couldn't even make eye contact, out of fear the human would see the regret and pity on her face. Had really done the opposite of what Gero had wanted from the cyborgs.

Someone must have directed Vegeta towards her, and she and the Saiyan could only stare at each other. In disbelief that someone could have been this dumb, that anyone could have thought any of this was acceptable. They both imagined the next hour, and before Juuhachigou could get up, Vegeta was already walking away and moving towards Bulma. No, to the turkey, to fight with Bulma for it. Even he watched the knife in her hand warily.

"You're not ruining this holiday, goddamnit. You've destroyed enough. Enough.

"We're so close. I'm actually about to cut the turkey. No one's gone insane. No one's gotten stabbed. We've never come this far before. Just sit down. Why do you have a problem with someone you've never met before? Sit down. _Wherever. _

"Trunks, you go sit over there. Across from Dad."

The turkey was completely overdone. Bulma nearly tore a muscle in her arm and then left a new scratch on the table as she attempted to saw through it.

She heard a hiss across the table. Saw stupid purple hair and a dumb jacket. "_You_."

"Oh boy. Trunks." Krillin held his arms up, defensively. As though that had ever helped anyone. "Calm down."

"Why are_ you _here?"

You didn't need to sense ki to see his own rising. Alongside his blood pressure. And hair.

"She's here as a guest. Look, buddy, she's one of the good guys now. I swear it. Promise. Come on. It's the holidays. We can move past old grudges."

Now he was leaning towards her. Smiling. At his most charming, maybe, and how much of this was just shaky confidence. Or how much before had been a lie. Something flickered in the black eyes. "_Right_, Juuhachigou? You're a good guy, now."

In response, Juuhachigou stared him down. Unblinking. Until he was grinning in response, as though it were a staring contest and one that she lost by searching again for alcohol. Glasses nearby that weren't filled with water was a blessing.

The first glass went down too smooth.

At her wary glance towards it, Krillin answered. "It's sparkling cider."

"For God's sake."

"Do you need something, miss?" The old man was digging through his pockets. "I think I still have some acid tablets left."

For a brief moment, Juuhachigou might have been tempted.

"What? Dad, stop handing those out. But anyway. Who are you again?" A disarming laugh. "And what's your brother's name? Since he is babysitting my kid now."

It was almost easy to roll her eyes. "I'm Juuhachigou. He's Juunanagou."

The blue-haired woman slapped her forehead. "_You're_…"

Now Krillin was back to sinking down in his seat.

"That's what I've been saying! This is one of the androids! ..._who's _watching the baby?"

Yamcha was adding over his own glass of wine. "But it's alright. Neither of them stabbed anyone. Exactly. We can all be friends now."

"Why hold a grudge?"

"Exactly. Nothing wrong with them now. _Right_, Krillin?" Hideous, the knowing raising of eyebrows. Judging looks. The horror of wondering if Krillin had said something to these people, spread lies to them.

Juunanagou found his way in, a bright red splotch on his shirt. All but collapsing into a seat and ignoring the double takes. "What, are you flirting with him again, Juu?"

"_With who_?" Krillin asked, too quickly.

Juuhachigou wanted to hit one of them with the other.

"Are you saying." Bulma's voice was deadly quiet. "That all the horrible shit that happened…all the people that were murdered, including my son…that Goku died, so that you could try and _get laid_?"

Not me, Juuhachigou nearly said aloud. That really was nothing something that weighed heavily on her mind, before and after. Especially considering she got to see the consequences of that right in front of her. Goku had been the smart one after all, to die and escape these people.

"No, never! It wasn't about that! I couldn't kill an innocent person just because someone else wanted to hurt her. It wasn't her fault. And no, I wasn't trying to do anything with her. Not ever. Not really. I thought she was dating Juunanagou.

"I'm sorry. But I didn't know you two were related! Trunks left that one out. Along with a _description._ Yeah, you didn't know. Still, though, it was very confusing.

"I just couldn't hurt someone that hadn't done anything wrong, Bulma. I didn't have it in me. No, I wasn't trying to _sleep _with her. Stop making that face. All of you. And it wasn't Juuhachigou's fault. She didn't want to leave her friend behind. How could I hurt her? Don't you judge me; you weren't there. You didn't see her…

"Please stop glaring Juuhachigou. I couldn't use that remote on you. It went against every instinct I have. No, it wasn't because of the…you know. Would all of you stop _staring_ at me? It wasn't because of that thing. That thing you did before. What, I know you remember it. You were _there_. Both of you.

"All of you calm down. No, no, jeez, nothing happened. Like that. _Kami._ You guys. It was after they beat everyone up. She knows what I'm talking about. I know you do. You have to, right. Or do you do that a lot to people you meet, was it just that insignificant-

"If anything, Vegeta should be the one blamed for what happened."

"Yes, what exactly were you thinking when you decided it would be a _great_ idea to let Cell absorb Juuhachigou?"

"Screw both of you," Bulma declared. "Neither of you can be trusted. I apologize to the _androids_ for all of this. Congrats on being able to make them the victims you two. No, you're not getting any turkey. Not now or_ later_."

The purple-haired twerp was staring at Briefs and Vegeta as the others grimaced. "What are you- ew."

"Right in front of the kid, huh."

"That's right. None for either of you. Right, Juuhachigou? Don't look at me like that. We're all adults here. Except for Gohan."

Krillin was a broken man, all but crying into his drink, mortified, mortifying. "We should talk about what we're grateful for."

Bulma emptied the last of a wine bottle into her glass. "I bet we all know what _you're_ glad for."

"Ham." The old man, Roshi the Turtle Hermit, muttered. Said right next to the talking pig.

"I guess we're alive. Most of us. Sorry, Chi-Chi."

"Vegeta? _Vegeta?"_

"I will not—"

"Just make it easier on all of us and say something. Anything."

Yamcha was offended on everyone's behalf. "C'mon. One thing? How about family? Friends?"

"Really, nothing? Who's surprised by that? Anyone? Let's see. Nope. I'm glad I get to go back home and rebuild that timeline. What about you, Mom?"

"What am I glad for?" Bulma stared into a half-empty wine glass. "I'm glad that we're all here, together."

Everyone groaned.

"Liar."

* * *

After managing to get any food on her plate and not have that stolen, then finding the kitchen to leave her plate on a flat surface, sneaking away after another argument broke out and then shooing away Krillin when he eventually found her again, after all that, she could search for her twin and try to recuperate.

She found Juunanagou lying there in a child's bedroom, coated in markers, one outstretched hand clutching a bottle. Her brother had found absinthe, and hadn't shared. Instead, he hallucinated alone, if quietly, and left his twin sister to sulk. To sulk and lean against a wall and kick him. Downstairs, Bulma was ranting about what they had done to the underdone turkey and how it was possible they had eaten all the stuffing already and ranting that all the nearby restaurants that did takeout had already blacklisted Capsule Corp.

"I had to spend the entire day with these people. You know how horrible they are to deal with, sober? What they did to that pumpkin pie?

"Thanks for forcing me into this. It was really worth it to you, I'm sure.

"I hope you can't find the way home."

"Are we that bad?" His smile was warm, relaxed. Schizo. Juuhachigou could have gladly scalped him, no matter what a challenge that would have been.

She didn't like how he kept his lower half hidden by a tooth mark-ridden couch. Or the way he looked at her, eyes lidded. Looking like he had nothing better, could imagine nothing better than listening to her ridicule him and his friends. Which was the truth. A reminder of his unsettling unblinking gaze that Krillin was a man, and one that adored her at that. He would never understand how little she cared in return for his feelings.

It wasn't often that Juuhachigou was creeped out by someone else.

A hellish day. Complete with Juuhachigou getting too good a look at him in those chinos.

"How's your brother?"

"Fine. I don't care. You take care of him."

Krillin was checking for a pulse. "Thanks for actually coming along though. I guess it'll be good practice for Christmas though."

"_What_?"

"Don't worry about gifts or anything like that. Just showing up would be nice. It'll be right here, so you can find us again. Christmas day, if you're free. Maybe you won't be. You could, I don't know, have plans with someone. Make plans with them. If you were even interested in doing that with someone."

His obliqueness left them both confused.

"I just hope we can be friends then. That's all. No weird…"

"What?"

"Tension. Feelings. General weirdness. Since we met trying to kill each other."

"If it will make you act normal. Then fine. I guess we can be_ friends_ then." All but gagging at the thought while he beamed. Coming closer. Too close. Could all but see her horrified expression as he awkwardly shoved his mouth at her.

What the hell?

Unintentionally, she found her hand around his neck. Fast, even for her.

"Why _did you do that_?"

Once again, Krillin was raising his hands. Only this time, someone really was going to be decked. She wanted to see him having to pick up his own teeth while pleading forgiveness. "Piccolo told me to go for it. _Mentally_. Not that I hear voices in my head. Regularly."

Hated him. "I'm going to murder you."

"I should have waited, until you were okay with me. Until we were both comfortable with this."

"'_This_'?" Her voice was so high.

"The connection we have? When you kissed me, remember? You still look in shock, are you okay? It took me a second when you did it to me. No. No, I wasn't. I'm still reeling from it. Juuhachigou, _Eighteen_, ever since we met, I can't stop thinking about you. Your laugh and the mean way you make fun of everyone. Every time you smile. Your blue eyes. Being with you is like being struck by lightning." Krillin had a strange, funny smile on his face.

Juuhachigou removed her hand.

"I swear, I came up with a good speech in case we met again." His voice a whisper. "I know I have no right to ask. To think that you could ever feel the same way for me."

"What gave you the impression I care? That I was even capable of feeling the same way? For _you? _What, you think because you acted nice to me before that I owed you something? When I didn't even you to help me? I'm not some prize for you to earn._"_

"I know that. I do. I don't know how handle how I feel about you. You're not a prize, or some object. That's the point. I like you, as a person. I want to be with you."

"I don't feel the same way. _Never._ If I never see you again, it will be the best thing that ever happened to me!"

Behind them, miles away, her brother was _laughing_. "That's it. We'll definitely be here on Christmas."

**482. ****Drank Too Much and I Said Too Much, And There's Nowhere To Go But Down**

It would have been nice to blame this on her twin, or on anyone but himself. Not even Bulma, who'd given him the idea to yes, actually go up to her and say something; she could not be blamed. Because she certainly hadn't told Krillin to continue bugging her all evening. To not let her just be, but instead wanted to ruffle feathers and dig under that pale, _of-course_-perfectly-flawless skin. To see a reaction, if she even noticed and cared.

As though she were ever a woman to deal with ultimatums and someone you could back into a corner.

Krillin could remember, no matter how badly his head hurt. He'd pushed a point, in front of the other if only partially, that he was tired of this half-thing, that was he so bad that she didn't want to be seen in public, didn't he mean enough to her? The last thing he could remember was asking if she was going to come back to his place, which was the worst thing he could have said to her.

The words that he now scrambled to tape up. If only to himself. No, to himself and only to himself because as always that was all Krillin had. I will settle for this half-thing if it means I can see you again.

Self-pitying truth that no one wanted. Even Krillin knew that. Too little, too late. Unwanted in the first place, and he'd known that all along.

I love you and want to be with you in whatever way.

That was the thing he would tell her, if he ever saw that bright head again.

I'll make this up to up, Juuhachigou.

**483. Through a thin layer of rubber, and a thick rusted armor of drunken lust**

It was Juuhachigou, in the end, to save him for once and take the phone out of his hands. Fitting, since she'd driven him to this, and they all knew it. First to drink, and then to mope some more, and then to calling his ex and trying to track her down and hope that she remembered him and was still single. And was free tonight, and could find her way to Kame House.

She pulled his phone away, asking somewhat rhetorically. "Are you really trying to call your ex in hopes she come over and finally sleep with you?"

"No!"

"That ship sailed four years ago, son."

Oolong barely glanced up to even bother sympathizing with Krillin. "And it sailed away with a lot of men on it."

Juuhachigou's face was becoming increasingly terrifying. The eyes widening, and the mouth becoming a thin line, hollows forming in her cheeks. It could have scared anyone away from their depression. "You were going to call your ex in hopes of some sort of pity sex?"

"No! Not that it's any of your business!"

"You did it right in front of us!" In front of _her_, was the math everyone but Krillin could work out. "Are you really _this_ pathetic?"

"Yes. As you remind me every day."

"Don't blame this on me. If anything, _I'm_ the victim."

**484. Oh Mr. Mistletoe**

**wither and die**

**you useless weed**

**I'm Crashing into the Tree—God I Hate Christmas Time**

It was nothing he wanted to actually voice aloud—though by now everyone seemed to have picked up on his plans as soon as they saw him nailing up mistletoe everywhere. One glance of him with a sprig and a stapler, and his friends immediately asked some form of the question, "So Juuhachigou going to be here?"

With all varying levels of disgust and disbelief and apathy.

Never before had the holidays been such a rush of hopefulness and fear.

Misery would come juxtaposed against the jolly movies with happy endings and bright presents so carefully wrapped. Opportunity and fear came hand in hand, as he and Juuhachigou never would be.

She would never touch him again. Krillin had to buy her a present. She would laugh at his invitation, and throw it away. He would conveniently find himself beneath a sprig of green, smiling and charming, and she would lean in eagerly. She had never gotten the invitation he'd so meekly put in her mailbox before fleeing. They might talk like adults, and carefully express optimistic plans for the new year and their new relationship. She would bring her brother.

She would bring her brother.

He made too much food, then fretted that it wouldn't be enough. Took to chewing his fingernails, and laughing too much over what his roommates did to the gingerbread men, only to have to make a whole new batch and cram the desecrated ones into his maw.

Never before had he been the type to outright hate the holidays. Even as a stubborn, awful teenager with a name that unfortunately involved chestnuts that the other monks would taunt him about if he stood too close to the fire, and they hadn't even celebrated that holiday in the temple. On Kame House this time a year, it had been a strange time. Storms and eggnog that always nauseated him, even years later, with the same terrible jokes about his name from his new friends, trying to slip glasses of the punch Bulma and Yamcha had spiked and watching Goku eat the decorations off the tree. Then, later, as puberty had shoved his face further into the dirt, the depression at seeing others nuzzling and laughing as they fell onto the fresh fallen snow. Mistletoe.

Every year it got worse and worse. Single throughout all of them, watching Yamcha and Bulma be horrible in some way, and then eventually Goku and Chi-Chi though at least then he and Gohan could cover each other's eyes. The first winter with Maron, that made the one after it all the more depressing. Always he got false gold, if that.

Now he pull himself out of bed at a ridiculously early hour to check the turkeys and basically, what amounted to an entire herd of cattle in the ovens, to be rotated ever hour. Watch insipidly happy Christmas movies until Roshi took the remote from him. Glaze carrots and hang decorations that fell from limp branches as even in winter it was too humid for this pine tree he'd carried all the way here from West City.

Got to watch Bulma trying to pin a reluctant and moderately drunk Vegeta, and then got to cover Yamcha's eyes. Worry about yams and cranberries and the precarious tree that Chi-Chi kept almost-knocking over with her stomach.

But Krillin had control.

Even when everyone was here, and he realized he'd simultaneously bought too much and too little alcohol, it was okay. Goku wasn't here to eat gingerbread, an Olympic quality of gingerbread and tinsel and garlands of popcorn, and empty the fridge and get into a fight with Chi-Chi after he'd holding her down and administering ridiculous smacking kisses that left everyone embarrassed and laughing. He was missing all of this. She hadn't showed up, and that was alright. Better. Safer. He needed to get over his feelings, and to do that, he had to not be around her. Or else it would be a disaster, he'd sink further into that miasma of guilt and fear, the overwhelming urge to put his arm into a wood chipper to spare himself further pain, then, _ah_, she would look at him and Krillin was damned and glad to be.

He poured himself another glass of eggnog, and pondered the resilience of the human heart.

It was such a lousy season.

Trading material things in exchange for your dignity, for kitsch dancing bearded men and lame carols. The monks would have been disgusted with all of this. Chestnuts roasting on the fire, indeed.

He huffed some more, breaking a gingerbread man into small pieces when something hit the back of his head with a hard thump.

Krillin whirled, knowing that Vegeta should have been cut off six margaritas ago.

There was no fresh snow that could match the whiteness of his mind.

Perhaps she had gotten into the spirit of the season with that red skirt.

Juuhachigou had no idea how attractive she was. Of course she did know how pretty, sexy, she was or she wouldn't have worn that outfit. Or looked at him with that shrinking smirk. "Do you have any idea how pathetic you look right now?"

"Yes."

It was true, all of it. His romanticism of her, building her up as a beautiful dangerous woman phenomenally out of his league by miles and kilometers. All of it deserved. A goddess to worship at her heavenly alter, he her disciple that had no choice but to admire and prostrate himself before her, because he loved her, forever blessed by that curse.

"Whatever."

The only good thing about Juuhachigou leaving you was that you got to watch her walk away.

Krillin lost her, somehow, in the small crowd that flooded the house and did worse damage than literal floods. Nearly got into a fight with Vegeta because of the Saiyan distracting him over sandwiches. "Go ahead, take all of them, I don't care."

Bulma even had to step in before an arm was torn off. "You okay?"

"I don't know. Did you see a blonde woman around here? No, I did not hallucinate her. Why am I asking you? You're drunk. You probably wouldn't recognize your own kid. Again."

His oldest friend still living yelled, "I hope this one dumps you too!"

"I dumped _her_!"

"No one even believes you!"

Krillin had to walk away before she tried tearing a leg off.

Got lost in his own home. Then had to duck and hide upstairs after seeing Juunanagou.

Dende, of course she had brought her brother. Who knew what she'd told her twin brother? He could be here for blood. Definitely.

It wasn't the first or last time he'd stayed up here during a party. Paid more attention to books or the TV than to the ruckus downstairs and only pausing momentarily when someone finally broke a window. It was a safe place, in his room. Plain clapboard walls, everything clean as compared to the horror that would follow the Christmas morning, when whatever presents remained were opened by squinting people in the living room devoid of lights and even the blinds shut. Mugs of coffee in shaking hands, 'Kami, it's bright.'

Upstairs, all Krillin had to worry about was not closing his eyes fast enough when passing by Oolong's room.

Only there was no Goku around to pull him out of his room and push a messy present into his hand. "I wrapped it myself."

Up here, even here, there were decorations scattered here. Red like puddles of blood, and who would know better about that? Green poison and tacky gold. Music downstairs on repeat, it never ended, there was no end to them. It couldn't be escaped. The damn lights that wouldn't stay up. Of course it was all ruined. Nothing ever went right. Couldn't even decorate properly.

Krillin found the ladder downstairs, but still no Juuhachigou.

For the best. He had already made a fool of himself. Who was he kidding anyway? Never would they be together. Impossible to imagine a realistic opportunity for them to be even more than strained acquaintances. Again, Krillin would harbor a crush, doomed and wretched, until—forever it seemed. So much worse than the other times, this time was. Because it was so star-crossed and pathetic. Maybe she _had_ been a hallucination.

"What's the point?"

"Exactly. What?" He nearly swallowed his tongue.

Juuhachigou was there by his feet, and he still wasn't entire sure she was real. "You're going to have to take it down anyway."

The small man was going to be a good host, and pretend that he didn't despise all of this. "It's _seasonal_. Besides. It looks nice."

"That explains a lot."

"What do you mean?" Then he looked down, and wished he hadn't. There was no visible cleavage, but yet, there could be, and that paralyzed him. A new angle to watch her at. She seemed smaller up here.

Krillin watched Juuhachigou reach out and pull the ladder away from the wall.

A second blur of a jolly face that promised holiday joy before Krillin hit the ground. Bringing down the lights, after he reached out for a grip, because he forgot he could fly, and was making a general ass of himself.

"Whoops."

"Thanks. Really. For making this entire day even worse." At least the pain confirmed that she did exist. Presumably.

"That's the dumbest sweater I've ever seen."

"I know. But you have to wear them. Because it's Christmas."

"What's your excuse for the rest of the year?"

He could, almost, sort of, see up her skirt at this angle. May Juuhachigou never know. Could that be his Christmas present? Please, Dende, Santa, Piccolo in a Santa costume, he'd been good this year.

"It's very disturbing how much mistletoe is in this house."

"You just have to learn to duck and weave more." Krillin tried to control his eyes better. "I assume everyone's been a gentleman to you tonight?"

"Excepting you. Really, get up before I blind you."

The Christmas decorations could not compare to the warmth on his face. It would not blind him, oh no Juuhachigou, you're so thoughtful but there's no danger of that… "Wha—ah. Oh."

"By which I mean I'll pull your eyes from your sockets."

The Christmas decorations could not compare to the warmth on his face. It would not blind him, oh no Juuhachigou, you're so thoughtful but there's no danger of that… "Wha—ah. Oh."

"By which I mean I'll pull your eyes from your sockets."

"I wasn't trying to do anything."

"Why not? There is mistletoe everywhere. You could make some clumsy rush at me and claim it was in the spirit of the holidays."

Krillin needed a glass of water and an hour of meditation. Perhaps climb a higher ladder and hit his head harder. But he did get to his feet. God he wished he wasn't so short.

Was she moving in closer? What was that look? Was that a glare? Why was she backing him into a corner? Kami he wished he wasn't _so short_.

"Juuhachigou?"

Why had it never occurred to him that yes, it was not pity but her own sexual wants and needs that would coincide with his? Holding his collar with one hand, the other above, resting flat on the wall. Lip contact and Krillin couldn't breathe for the sweetest few moments. Feel only him mouth and losing muscle control. Could cling to her, physically, and Juuhachigou would never falter from that. She was so_ strong_.

Her smile almost made up for the loss of contact. Her smile. "That was almost worth it."

Then she let him collapse into boneless heap on the fallen bulbs and wires.

"Let's chalk that one up to the holiday spirit, shall we? See you real soon. _Bye."_

Krillin sat there in a blazing tangle of light. Feeling every finger and toe, and the spark of his own ki. Still hearing her footsteps. Music forever looping and wailing about the season over the sounds of his friends arguing over who had broken what in the other rooms.

It was such a _magical_ time.

**485. Not the way that you'd imagined it.**

**On a balcony with champagne lips. **

**But in a pantry against the pancake mix,**

**you had your New Year's kiss.**

They nearly rolled into each other soon after the sun had come up and lit everything inside the house ablaze with a golden light that hid nothing.

Funny how neither needed to scream, "No! Oh god, no!"

But still did so.

For entirely different reasons.

Somehow, he was up, and falling into the fridge. Kami, it was _cold._ The hangover crept around, retreading back and forth as the panic set in. Horror. Fear. Curiosity.

"No, no, no."

I wanted a romantic date, not scrambling out of bed, avoiding eye contact. Uh, where are her clothes. I can't watch. I shouldn't stare. Where are my pants?

Where are your pants?

"No. Goddamnit. How?"

"Alcohol."

"I know that." She covered her face momentarily, then went to fix her hair, then zipped about grabbing clothes. God, the images Krillin saw were imbedded into his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes, there they were. All pale and thin, skinny, delicate, a lovely façade for what was underneath, and that flat stomach he'd never thought about, muscles drawn tight as she struggled to tug her jeans on. Why had he never admired her shoulders before?

"Put some damn clothes on."

"Why?"

The worst question any human being has ever asked at any time.

"Because you're a goddamn pervert, and I'm sick of looking at you. At _that."_

Alcohol poisoning and shock had driven all sanity from him. "You weren't last night."

It was scary how her face could shift from angelic, human, frustrated, to that monster Trunks had warned them all of. He'd come all the way from the future to save them from this. But Krillin understood that his life had ended last night and everything after it was a gift. They both knew what they knew, and it was impossible to unlearn something. _Yes,_ it had happened, and this was their strange distorted reality, and no glowing eyes from Juuhachigou would change that.

Neither would putting on his pants. Or any clothes for that matter. Taking care of his headache seemed more important, really. That, and her looking at him and not turning away.

Krillin stood up and looked for the coffee pot. "Want some breakfast?"

Juuhachigou apparently needed a second to process that. Tear her eyes away and formulate a response."Huh?"

"_Now_ who's the pervert?"

**486. ****The First Time I Woke Up Without You  
**

They split amicably enough, Krillin guessed. He took his stuff, avoiding her completely, and moving back to Kame House.

Just as he had when any battle was turning against him and his friends, Krillin had to take category.

He clutched the rubble of his life close for inspection. State the facts as he packed, as he put away whatever pictures he had, bury them under sweaters he wouldn't need and stumble around. Keep this shirt. Take all of it. The separation that he'd wanted to erase, between his and hers was another joke.

All of this was a joke. To everyone, and they'd all nodded and gone about their business. Claimed that she hadn't been worth his time, _untrustworthy._ Ignoring the basic facts, like that he would never meet anyone like her before. That, despite all the other flaws that yes, he hadn't been blind to, that had been the best he'd had. The best time in his life when he'd been the happiest. All them blind to the other facts that he recited every day.

He was twenty seven years old.

He was never going to see her again.

His first relationship was over.

And he was sure that he would never heal from this, not ever.

**487. ****That's A Pretty Nice Haircut**

There had been enough tension in the house before it happened. Before there might be the chance of resentment every time she glanced in the mirror.

Juuhachigou had yelled at Marron about her homework just long enough for her dangling hair that was just long enough to touch the red metal inside the toaster. Only after smelling the burning, and realizing that she was not making toast at the moment that it occurred to her there was something wrong. A thin line of smoke, an acrid smell…it took her a moment to realize her hair was burning. Her hair was on fire.

Marron jumped literally a foot in the air and dropped her book with a thump at the sound of her mother's scream.

Roshi dropped his magazine and jumped to the floor as though someone had run into the house with a machine gun. Again.

Oolong dropped the remote controller and remained frozen. Pretending to be dead again.

Upstairs, there was a yell followed by a thump as Krillin ran, then fell, down the stairs. He left globs of shaving cream from his face onto the floor.

"Juuhachigou! Are you okay?" Frantic, he looked at the living room, at his cowering family, both blood and otherwise.

"Is everything okay?"

Juuhachigou clutched her hair, face bone white. The ends were no longer burning, but are instead _burnt, _blackish instead of bright yellow. The look on the cyborg woman's face was reminiscent of when Krillin had brought her to Kame house for the first time. Master Roshi had immediately leered at her over his sunglasses, while Oolong gave Krillin a high-five on finding a girl so pretty and so desperate, before leaning over and whispering to ask her how much he'd given her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

Outrage, disbelief, and a quickening rage.

"Oh."

Krillin stared at her for a moment longer, before motioning to Master Roshi and Oolong, giving them the signal. It was not supposed to be used for this moment; originally it was planned in case Vegeta ever lost his mind, or Juunanagou finally wised up to the fact that Juuhachigou wasn't just here to spar with Krillin and realized that Marron was their daughter.

But another catastrophe had occurred, and the short man's roommates scooped the girl up and headed for the door. Their movements were not too hurried, and Krillin was proud of them and the way they soothed his daughter by telling her they were going out for ice cream. And no, mommy and daddy were fine. Her parent's loved her so very much, and always would. No matter what happened.

"Juuhachigou?"

Her eyes were red, with tears or anger, Krillin didn't know. Slowly, carefully, he took a few steps toward her. Steady, don't spook her. Hold your hands out to show that you won't hurt her. It reminded him of when he'd first kissed her.

"It's okay. It's okay."

"My hair, Krillin. _My hair_."

"I know."

"You don't," she snapped. Although if there was one person who could empathize with hair problems, it was Krillin. "It doesn't grow back."

Her teeth were bared. Softly, he leaned forward and held her shoulders. He examined it, taking in the length and damage. "This is okay. This can be dealt with."

There was doubt in her eyes. "It's crooked." She sounded like their daughter when she was younger and they didn't have the red Popsicle and no, no, green will not do. Krillin squeezed her shoulders. "It's okay."

Something, like sanity, came back into her face. "Hey. Did the perverts take Marron?"

"Yes." Krillin tensed. 'For her own safety' was not a good thing to say.

"Meaning, we are alone." Her expression was becoming angry. Although, it was not exactly. Passion and rage could be easily mistaken for one another on her pale face.

"Uh." He stepped back, smiling uneasily. "They could be back any second."

She descended on him. "Right now."

_"Really_?"

"Yes. What better time for you to trim my hair?"

Could feel his face falling. "Alright. You're going to have to give me a second though. Still."

Krillin rolled a few burnt strands between his fingers. "It's not too bad. I'll just give it a trim."

"A trim." She blew hair out of her eyes, then sighed. "I'm going to miss doing that."

A grin is erupting on his face. Reluctantly, she felt better. He had a plan, and really, Krillin happy was just a nice thing to be around. "This might be fun. How do you feel about bangs?"

"How about this. You can cut my hair, if I can cut yours."

"Alright. But then, I get to grow that mustache I've always wanted." Juuhachigou shuddered. But she relented under his wobbling lower lip and the sight of her poor blackened hair. "We'll see."

"Yes we will." He smirked, then kissed her forehead before pushing him off and running to get the good scissors.

He was back in the fifteen seconds she had to reconsider all of this. Maybe the mismatched lengths are fashionable, somewhere. They will move there, and there, she can be unashamed. But Krillin was juggling a water bottle and scissors and combs and a blow dryer and moving into the kitchen. She couldn't escape this. Instead, Juuhachigou followed him, where he'd already set up a stackable chair for her to sit on.

The scissors gleamed silver, and she glared at them in defiance. As soon as she sat down, Krillin swept an old tablecloth around her shoulders. Then spent forever adjusting it.

When it was wet, it looks like damp gold.

"I'm going to just cut off the burned ends. Alright?"

Krillin had known for a long time that he'd loved her too much. Every inch. To an unhealthy degree, about an hour after meeting her, if that. But getting worked up over her hair, over such a minor thing as a few inches of bright yellow hair, that was a little scary. Still, he fretted and worried and upset his wife just by inspecting every angle over and over again. It would be shorter, and he would love it and find himself waking up with a mouthful of it in the mornings. Still. There would be a little less of Juuhachigou in the world.

He held the hair between his fingers, trying to remember doing this for Yamcha, Bulma, Goku that time he'd attempted to make smoothies and apparently put concrete in the blender but forgot the top, Vegeta when he'd tried gum for the first time. There was a snip that made her flinch.

That made him flinch, despite himself.

Both nearly whimpering.

Krillin was surprised, moved by her closed eyes, the expanse of creamy forehead. It wouldn't fall into her eyes anymore and be shifted aside by a careful hand. Soft feathers with rough edges in his palm, and he would keep these locks. Whisper into a newly exposed ear, "Don't worry; I think you can pull off the bald look better than I did."

**488. ****I Unwrapped Your Presents Underneath Your Feet**

They kept themselves solemn and sane when taking the boys home, and returning to Kame House to check on their daughter. Make sure they were all alright. Answer questions as to why they were so bruised and why their clothes were in disarray and about the spiking power levels. "Him? _Again_? Glad everyone's okay."

But couldn't keep it together long enough to put bandages and anti-septic on wounds.

There was something in her little gasps. Perhaps it was some minor thanks for him having (disobeyed her? Oh, later they will slip into that and punishments) saved her and helping in whatever minor way he could. An undignified scramble and familiar grunting. Five years and still the eager greediness of seeing each other. Hair in their eyes. Still so glad it's you.

"Don't think I forgot about you and that doctor."

"Who?" Krillin asked, muffled around the shirt tangled on his head.

They eventually found the bed though by that time it was unnecessary.

**489. Maybe We'll be Friends**

It was probably a mistake, to agree to his truce. Why even wait, listen to the pleading of a fair fight?

It was also probably a mistake to even spend time with this man. Any time. Given how pathetically wide his eyes were, how he looked ready to begin pleading for his friend's life. Especially a disaster to sit so close, and talk to him.

But Juuhachigou had spent enough time listening to her brother explain that the slow way was the best. Funnier, too, to talk to him and watch the bloodless fearful quality of his face. Ask him exactly why they had run to the next obvious place, rather than going to a motel in a packed city and hiding out there? It would not have worked full time, but it would have at least held them off until…they finally found one of the fighters and got the location from them. Probably not this one, to his credit. Too loyal, and used to be beaten.

Still, for a man that had screamed immediately after opening the door (before slamming it and running away), he seemed to be taking this pretty well. No longer screaming, "Go away! No one's home!" Or running around like a chicken missing its head like that purple-haired stranger.

"Are you really going to kill Goku?" he asked again.

"Following your death, if you don't shut up."

Yet the little man stared at her. Pleading wordlessly for her not to do this. She could have literally slapped the eyes from their sockets, torn him to pieces before any of his friends could help him. What she had done to Vegeta had been nothing more than child's play after all, and every bone in his body could be snapped, twisted, until her own fingers were sticky with dried blood and her clothes stained.

Something trickled up her back, a shiver. When she could bear it without falling into a rage, giving in (no, she didn't want to be that empty monster, she was better than a machine to make Gero happy), Juuhachigou looked back at him.

I can change you. I could help you. Free you from another's cage.

It was something she'd never seen before.

_Wanting. _

Inappropriate warmth from a pathetic excuse of a man. Juuhachigou would make him see the purple-grey of his own intestines before she snapped his neck. Burn the skin from his chest, make new scars to compliment the ones of his forehead though these would be so much _deeper_. Break and subdue him as he wanted to do to her. When he saw her, he didn't see a robot, no, he saw only her pretty face.

For that, Juuhachigou leaned forward carefully, recalling an earlier time when she'd been so close to him. "If I put your head on a spike outside the door, will that scare away the other cowards?"

**490. Like a snake within the wilted garden wall**

**I'd hint to her every possibility**

He might not have been able to dissuade them entirely from killing Goku, but at least now they waited for him to recover. Literally_ waiting_. Outside his house, prowling around, and it was as disorienting as Piccolo at Gohan's birthday parties or Vegeta at the barbecues in the Capsule Corp's backyard. Only they, those old enemies, had been there not to purposely destroy and murder.

One chance.

Something in the air, always fresh air here in the mountains, the glow of the sun, green grass for miles. All this life. For it, for the lives inside, Krillin had to talk to her. Goku would have tried to stop her, or die in the attempt.

Was there something in the fall of bright hair that compelled him, or had it been that kiss, so confusing even now? The glow on her skin, as she waited, pretty in a dark vest. Juuhachigou had been the one to beat up Vegeta, so badly, the one so eager to fight why the others had sat on the sidelines until the end. She had her boyfriend, Gero's programming, Juurokugou to fight against.

Perfect eyebrows rose, sending a sharp pain to his stomach. "What makes you think I'm following his orders? Or that your requests are any more valid?"

It was_ such_ a mild day. Spring, hinting towards summer. How many seasons had he experienced, how many more were there for him?

Krillin didn't know if he was trying to make a Faustian bargain, or if he was the devil, luring her away.

Only offer her another way. "You don't have to do this."

That sliver of what she was, deep down, came through when she smiled. No matter what he might want, or hope for, there would be something beneath that pale skin. A mask only, all of it. Juuhachigou had a number, not a name. "But I _want_ to."

**491.** "**Have you lost your mind? Ever hear of not judging a book by its cover?"**

"**Well, yeah, but I mean, look at those eyes."**

"**Just trust me, I don't have to look in his eyes." **

"…**I'm sorry, what were you saying?" **

"**You have no taste in boyfriends, Bulma, seriously."**

It was at the first group gathering since the Cell Game, that he and Bulma finally saw each other again, and could lean against one another, watching their supposed/perhaps 'partners' threaten to vomit at the sight of one another.

Juuhachigou really shouldn't have said anything about the recent binge eating that was so obviously caused by grief. "How much ham have you stuffed into that maw?"

That sneering, greasy face was the only one to not have done a double-take over her presence. "What, are you jealous that there's no oil for you to consume?"

"What have we done?" Bulma's question was mostly rhetorical.

"Get away from me!"

"Why are you even here?"

"Why are _you_?"

Krillin patted her arm. "We've made some strange choices. No one can say that they were wrong. You know, the heart wants what the heart wants."

As though the heart had been what exactly had led them down this path, and not…other stupider parts that had taken over until yes, emotions had clouded them, tricked them into forgiveness and admiring banalities such as smiles that rare and therefore_ special_ and just for them. Locked into a cage they hadn't wanted to escape from, had not even noticed the door coming down until it was much too late. Amazing, and banal, the things you could learn to live with.

Pathetic, at least Krillin would have admitted to, how refracted, how watery, his vision became when seeing Juuhachigou. Even now, as she threatened to disembowel Vegeta.

"It's not like our friends are any better. Or our parents. Right? We had no positive influences."

"What about…Goku? He and Chi-Chi were together, and happy." Not that he didn't light up when a pale hand so much as brushed against him, at the flash of bright hair. Hard to say whether Juuhachigou felt the same, given how difficult it was to determine if she even knew they were together.

"Are you claiming that Chi-Chi and Goku were the only ones in a normal relationship?"

Both their eyes were drawn to the recently widowed, recently impregnated Chi-Chi that would still rant at the sky itself when another rush of morning sickness took over, and even now at the anniversary of Goku's passing, this wake, was still furious at him for leaving.

This time, Krillin had to ask it. "…What have we done?"

"Them? At least Juuhachigou's not pregnant. Yet. Right?"

"It's not our fault. Love isn't something you can sit down and choose to do. There's nothing rational about it."

Doomed. A thousand different lifetimes, options, chances and all with Vegeta. The same for Krillin and Juuhachigou. Except for that one where Krillin got killed by her.

"That's why it's so beautiful."

**492. Oh This Love Will Kill Me, But I Don't Think I Mind**

It wasn't like he didn't want to date, or that he didn't try, Dende knew.

…Oh, boy, he hoped Dende or Kami (now Piccolo) didn't know anything about his dating life.

But when you lived years training as a celibate monk, getting picked on and shaving your head and turning out way too short and living currently on an island full of underwear and porn, certain things became limited.

Yamcha had once joked about him checking out his options before settling for Juuhachigou—'you know, that scary android that beat up Trunks and Vegeta. When they were Super Saiyan. And would have killed Goku, plus you, if you got in his way.' Maybe his friend had a point about that.

Was it a matter of bizarre convenience?

That she knew of his life already, and had already done what so few women had ever done with that kiss? He would never have to sit down with her and explain that his best friend hadn't been exactly human or from Earth, and what was up with Bulma's partner and his hair and had that been him and his friends fighting Cell?

At least with Juuhachigou, he would never have to explain how strange his friends were. No, now he was the odd one that would follow a dismayed, confused cyborg around like a lovesick puppy. Doing whatever she said, no matter how dumb such as trying to figure out how to work the antenna on the roof in the middle of the night.

His doom complete with gifts of flowers and chocolates that she treated as though covered with small pox, maybe, given how hard she might throw them at his head or leave for her shrugging brother. Until he would find himself in the attic of her home, sorting through stranger's belongings until they were in neat piles to be gotten rid of- until he realized that this house was obviously stolen. Until he found himself going through newspapers for apartments and rental houses for the twins, and had to take a part time job at Capsule Corp to buy a new capsule house for two uncaring cyborgs that didn't appreciate him growing them a garden and making dinner while decorating their home exactly as they wanted it.

….On the other hand, he realized, trying to fit a too-large desk right into the exact corner that Juuhachigou wanted, just about any other woman might be easier to deal with.

**493.****I'd Never Know you, I Never Knew You. That's What I'm Doing. Grow Up and Embrace The Change.**

It was both pathetic and shameful to see her again after all these years. This growing feeling of embarrassment, like someone had gone through his garbage.

When he looked at her, it was gazing at a picture of a distant world, a planet cold and untouchable that couldn't be seen without a device. This thing did not care about your latest mistake, your biggest success, of your discomforts and favorite color. In some ways, it was almost reassuring that she still didn't give a damn for him.

Had she returned even an ounce of the suffocating emotions, had she returned at all before now, Krillin might have weakened and sunk under from the weight of his guilt. Instead, he might be brave and even thoughtful to have spared and helped her without any pleading look afterward for something as banal as a _date_.

As someone that had spent years training, he should have known better. Instead, Krillin had told himself that he'd still done the right thing, and for the right reason rather than a selfish crush, and almost believe that. That's how stupid he'd been. Denial.

All of it came rushing back. Some of it, anyway. An echo. The aching tenderness and want. Desire and some discomforting fear. She could beat him to a pulp, even now. Easily, in fact. Still, Krillin remembered wanting nothing more than embracing her, loving her, every inch of that destructive form. The same part in her hair and flawless skin and pale eyes that wavered between grey and blue. Years separating them, though, a different lifetime, and who knew how different she was, to show up during another emergency to help. Probably married with a few kids.

Had her forehead always been that big?

**494. If I could be over you when the sky starts falling  
Would you be smothered under me?  
If I could be under you if the earth was burning  
Would you be crying over me?**

Out of all the things he thought their marriage might go through, having to fight some pink monster that ate people was not one of them.

The ki was unlike anything. Endless and wrong, as not even Frieza's had been. At least with him, you could wrap your mind around the strength and understand that he could destroy a planet. Not even Cell had felt like this, so unsettling and familiar his ki had been. With Buu, it is alien in a way that none had been so far. This is a thing so old it is ancient, before humans had even been walking around. Evil.

Her hands in his hair, as though checking to make sure that he wasn't still made of stone.

He hadn't told her exactly what had happened. But she knew him as well as anyone, and must have known something bad had happened. Hardly letting him out of her sight. Later, if there was a later, Krillin would explain everything. That he'd nearly died again, how worried he had been not just of dying, but of never seeing her and Marron again. Tell her, not just his _friends_, that he loved her. Later.

This hopelessness that was worse than Cell. Than meeting his _wife_, before she'd been anything more than an enemy. Worse than Frieza and the Saiyans.

Now he had more than the general idea of humanity. The added strange selfishness of having a family. Now he understood why Chi-Chi had forbidden Gohan from so much and why Bulma had worked so hard on the remote, the time traveling device. Weird, how Krillin could now relate to Vegeta, as surely he must have felt this. This feeling. I have to protect them. My wife and kid.

Simple facts: I have to protect them, my wife and kid.

"Good thing I took out the life-insurance policy, huh?"

The petting became a tug. "Always with the bad jokes, huh?"

"You're right. No insurance company would ever cover me."

Juuhachigou let him continue, though. "Maybe me, though. Didn't think about it, considering I can't age. What was the point of paying into something with no payoff at the end? Don't they have statutes of limitations?"

"Yeah, so _shortsighted_. Now who'll pay the mortgage? Terrible. You'll have to move in with the Sons."

"Or Bulma. Even worse. Thank Dende, I'm going to go before you."

"No way. I'll stop you."

"I'm stronger."

"Too bad. I look better heroic."

"What? Says who?"

"Have you seen me in a cape?"

"…yes."

"Cruel. Too bad I never got to see you in one. Guess between that and the lack of insurance we're both going to have to live another day."

**495. If I Could Scare You First**

No matter how little actual contact she'd had with humans (that could be recalled), Juuhachigou understood that look all-too-well.

So of course she had to cut him off at the pass.

"No, before you ask or act it out, you are not having a hallucination."

Let him flee her.

As it should be.

Krillin met her gaze with a remarkable amount of calm. "Are you going to run away again?"

"Shut up."

And again she almost slinked away for a momentary retreat. Almost.

"I was worried about you. When you took off that other day.

"You looked so frightened. Like you might be _scared _of me. But that would be crazy, wouldn't it, Juuhachigou? Me having any hold on you, any influence that might affect you? Impossible."

"…Get away from me!"

**496. How Am I Supposed to Pretend I Never Want to See You Again?**

Krillin had planned it, goddamnit.

When she came back, if she decided to ever show up again as she'd said, he would separate himself from her. Move away. Keep distance from her shadow, not allowing even that to touch him. Perhaps, they would become friends, after another enemy came by to destroy all of them and forced all the fighters to fall on the same side again.

Not—not this! Having to face her in less than a week after everything had fallen apart. With new clothes, looking somehow, better than ever. In a nice, large house with enough money for expanding it. What? _How? _Already Juuhachigou had her life in better order than him, more accomplished, a better citizen that probably actually paid taxes and was living the dream that West City promised.

While Krillin was less than attractive. _Stupid._ An unpleasant moron that had never felt lower than this moment. One that wasn't in clean clothes. Her servant. Hm.

Couldn't even pretend that she was a stranger.

"You're the one that ordered a pool?"

"You're here to _make_ a pool?"

"I have orders!" The clipboard was the clumsiest shield ever.

They both blinked, and he had almost forgotten how big her eyes were. How long those eyelashes were and the curve of her cheeks and point of her chin. There was so much he could relearn and familiarize himself with, if from a safe distance. It was a chance, like the clouds parting to let the sun in. Why had he ever been annoyed at Bulma for pushing this work on him? Send her a dozen roses and another to Juuhachigou.

Well. Maybe not. But maybe he could arrange to plant a few flowers around the house. His worksite. His employer looked to be regretting this entire enterprise, but wait until she saw how much it would improve her property value.

"How long is it going to take?"

Krillin made a show of huffing and looking through his paperwork. "Oh, couple of weeks."

**497.** **And** **every time I talk to you well I can never breathe**

Juuhachigou had come back. To see him. Just…like she'd said.

See you around. The sweetest words. Almost as great as her showing up at Capsule Corp. Just to see him. And not to hurt him.

Krillin was floored, to say the least. Jaw nearly reaching his chest, until he belatedly realized that he shouldn't gape at her. Or stare. Too much, as it was clearly impossible not to look at her. Admire. Take her in, or look away, to hug her, to make her smile His emotions bounced from disbelief to anxiousness to joy, around and all back.

"I'm just—it's just nice to see you again." The short ex-monk shrugged, on the bench.

She stood, still unwilling to even bend her knees. Her eyes were wary. "Let's not talk."

"Re—"

"Not a word."

He took it as he might have any lifeline thrown out while he drowned. "_Alright_."

But without speaking, there was nothing to do but_ look_ at each other.

Which could be so much worse.

**498. ****I Do This For A Living  
**

**(A.N: Was I the first to think of this?)**

"Are you…are you going to just leave us here? Aren't you going to finish us off? Isn't that what you machines want?"

Some growing anger on that round face that squared his jaw. Not a handsome face, but a memorable one. Black eyes, not as deadened as the other's. Something weak in this man, even goofy and off-putting. In orange and blue that she bet still smelled of smoke and spilled gasoline. Looking mean and scared like a cornered animal. No matter what Juunanagou might say to him, to almost calm him.

Juurokugou would have been a better choice, given his affinity for animals.

She could already feel the energy slipping away. That satisfaction drifting, and Juuhachigou knew she was frowning. A part wanted to find pity for those who'd died, and instead only felt sick of the bodies left behind. Even with the enemy defeated

(or was it because of that fact)

she hardly felt any better.

Here in a t-shirt and jeans, she watched the fighters stuck in sand and stone. Spared, if momentarily.

A few were supposedly alien. Which would explain that one's green skin and that one's third eye and maybe that one over there with his dumb, dumb haircut.

The small one hadn't fought. Was noseless, but otherwise looked fairly normal. A human, a traitor. The worst, no matter how rude that condescending alien had been, just because of the mingled hatred and fear. As though he didn't deserve this for trying to help take over the plant along with the rest. Part of the reasons she even was a fighter, because of beings like this. Bullies that picked on the weak.

Do you know what we do to traitors?

What we should do?

Should she kill this one left standing, would that make her feel any better? Was _he _any better than those murderers that had actually fought? Why should he live?

They had killed one of_ them_. Our team versus theirs, and now someone was gone. Juukyuugou, who had been so serious, when not making blank-faced jokes. His idiot voice. She couldn't say she'd miss him too much, but still. One of their own struck down, and it was obvious how that effected the old man. The old man's lackey, but was that so different from the rest of them. This was their job, why they'd been recruited and/or created in some (most) of their cases.

A job given maybe with some pity.

One given with_ warning_ in this case. She'd barely had time to wake up properly and put on pants, no time to panic and curse her luck. And to top it off, she'd nearly slid down the goddamn mountain that her home was buried inside. Such was the life of a hero, someone might say to her livid face. Someone like Juurokugou or Juukyuugou. Her brother to smile when she couldn't. "Save it for the bad guys, Juuhachi." Then helped her up.

If only Gero had given a little bit more information- though at least he was here. As well he should be, their boss that gave the orders and was responsible for their fighting strength. If Juukyuugou had died though…but Juuhachigou grabbed that voice as roughly as she had any of these warriors. This job and these missions, given yes, with pity.

Remembering her own mother telling her to be a better woman than she'd done so many years ago, things that Juuhachigou can't forget no matter how she wanted to, like the distant father with her bright hair. The dumb clutter of youth that made her feel so ungrateful and always try to recall when she'd last told them she'd loved them before they'd died.

A spiral downward, alongside her brother. Shakes in stranger's homes and resentful and sure that she could control everything. If Gero hadn't found and saved them, who knew, even if a part of her cringed to admit it. Not as bad as these creatures, though. Her ki was rising, and she had to consciously lower it. Anger that she'd been warned about constantly, with a comforting hand on her shoulder, but at least it was a righteous anger. Rather than just being annoyed at this interruption of doing nothing with her unending life.

For so long, too, she had bucked her responsibility. Because of some dumb rebellion, and maybe others had suffered for it. If she'd taken things more seriously, maybe they could have helped even one person survive that destruction as they blasted apart the island.

At least they'd won.

The only reward was this grim fear from the unconscious fighters, and the resignation from this short man standing here, who had proclaimed he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Juuhachigou hated it when Juunanagou of all people was the voice of constraint, but something about the black eyes unsettled her. Too stubborn, cocky. Nearly as dark as their pupils, was that what discomforted her. How different they looked. Vigilantes, she and her brother and group of friends might be, but at least they hadn't nearly destroyed an entire army of helpless people. And just to prove their own strength. Because it amused them to hold the lives of others in their hands.

"It's possible they might redeem themselves." Surprising, that Gero could find some compassion given what their own friend, that Goku with the reckless grin and love of fighting, had done to him.

Why was she always the voice of reason? When had that happened, anyway? "You can't know that."

But her brother was already getting ready to turn his back on all of this. "Besides, it gets pretty boring around here. Never know when we might need some action to spice things up."

**499.****Maybe you were one of my wives,**

**In the long lost tribe.**

She couldn't even begin to guess how long she had been here.

Though, Juuhachigou knew very well how she had been without Krillin. And worse, her own daughter. Marron, who had never been a fighter, and had gone onto a different place. Leaving her parents to mourn anew at another separation, no matter how Krillin whispered into her ear at such joy he felt passing through there, the safety and warmth—things that they had given their daughter when she'd been small enough to fit into the crook of your arm. Now, reborn along with so many others, and Juuhachigou fretted even while she had been the one to finally bring it up. It had hurt to lose a child, especially twice and the second in such a rupturing way. Undone.

Her own death, so long in coming, had been a relief.

At least it wasn't an eternity of oblivion, as she might have once thought. Though, she would no longer exist, this woman with straight hair who could not remember her childhood or birth name. Whoever she was now would cease. As would Krillin, the man who had grown up in a monastery and had died so many times before but never quite made this plunge.

"So, what do you think will happen?"

The green gaping uneven circle, a portal. How awful the color scheme was up here.

"Hmm? We'll be born. Maybe at the same time? I'm not sure how it works."

"And you won't, say, be reborn as a turtle or something?"

"Why do I get to be a turtle? Maybe you'll be the rabbit." The punchline. "Or maybe we'll both be bunnies."

He was smiling now, and of course Juuhachigou wandered how many times she'd kissed that mouth. If she ever would again. How long that would be, and whether the next version of her would take her too long to do so again and if she would appreciate it. Would the next one find him in a battlefield, or would they run into each other in the mall, as what happened in so many romantic comedies? Hopefully, they wouldn't end up in some universe where she murdered him—again.

Maybe they had done this all before.

"No, I think we'll both be humans. Or sentient. Something close, anyway. We won't be punished. Remember, you got waved right through. Remember, how Baba laughed because she knew you were the one that beat Vegeta up?"

After all, who was to say this wasn't their third time around. And that was why she had kissed him. Ah, the mystery was finally answered as to why she'd given into that absurd little urge. Marking him, just to make sure that neither would kill each other hopefully.

Juuhachigou had never cared or thought much about something as vague as fate.

"Will I have to grow up with Juunanagou again."

"Oh, c'mon. He's not so bad."

No, and she would miss her twin. Or not, rather.

Maybe this time, she wouldn't have any contact with Gero. Juuhachigou would be a normal girl with hopefully a better name, and she would be a college, perhaps a lawyer, maybe something as ironic as a divorce lawyer or a prosecutor, and she would run into a short that was as into martial arts as she was, and perhaps they would meet in court.

With some uneasy first meeting, but hopefully the same idiotic friends that frankly Juuhachigou couldn't imagine not having a place in her life, with her annoying twin brother, and she allowed herself to think that perhaps Juurokugou might be there as well. And they would have a daughter. Maybe in another timeline, they'd had more than one child, and that would repeat as well.

"I wonder if next time we'll meet under more normal circumstances?"

A professional life. A boarding school they would meet at, during a swim meet and a contrived study date. Competing sports teams. A whole new chance to humiliate him. Or at a grocery store he ran alongside his ridiculous-haired best friend. Shopping cart fights. The jokes they could all make concerning each other's names.

Ninjas.

Artists.

Doctors.

All of the above.

Space pirates. This time, they would be space pirates.

**500. I Need A Date to the Prom, Would You Like To Come Along?**

That she ended up in his room, that she would spend an undetermined amount of time in his house at all, was a horrible series of unforeseen consequences.

All the worse for having to put on his clothes.

Shirt and loose shorts, cold, hating the boniness of her knees suddenly. Wanting a long dress, no, heavy jeans. To just not be here in general and deal with this bullshit. Others would find out, somehow, even if Krillin never told someone. This town was too small; they would sense her here and someone with no life would spread the gossip around. No matter her reasons, she was here, in his room and there were always implications even if she'd gone here to sell him newspapers.

Intimate. His stupid bed with clean sheets. What teenager kept a room this neat? Couldn't be normal. It made her own room look like the pigsty it was. Books all neatly stacked and did he dust, could that be an empty wastebasket? This was a room she inhabited right now. Breathing in the same vicinity that he'd lived and did such horrible things to himself right over there in that bed, surely. Shared the same shower, if not at the same time.

But _still._

This was because she didn't beat him periodically enough. Shown the puppy too much mercy, a few pats to the head when, coincidentally, no one was around. All it took.

Feeling unsettled, embarrassed, and wishing she at least didn't have a towel on her head, wishing she had dry underwear on but no way would she be taking that off even if no one had been home.

Juuhachigou had expected better from tonight. Throwing rocks through windows. General vandalism before they could be charged as adults. Even huffing paint in some crack house would have been better than getting wrapped in a towel, shivering, by someone she alternatively despised or could not care any less about.

At least she hadn't been mangled from a crushed car. Or been caught by the cops. Or was with her twin, and having to listen to him as he started another fight and forced her to flee the scene and leave him behind.

Or drowned, struggling to find the surface under the heavy tarp overhead that she had clung to as she sunk.

But no, she had lived, had been saved.

Krillin was knocking at the door. His door. Like the son-of-a-bitch could sense when she thought about him. "Your clothes are almost done."

"Finally."

"With the rinse cycle anyway. They still have to go through the dryer though. It shouldn't be more than, say, an hour maybe."

* * *

Juuhachigou stared at her locker. The combination and number jotted on an index card. The coffee stain on the corner was par for the course. Long in coming, and she had known that. The only surprise was that it had taken this long until now, they'd finally gotten tired of her being next to her brother's lockers.

The cords they'd run through the metal to hack into the phone lines had probably been the last draw.

She adjusted her backpack, and looked down at the card. It didn't change. She retied her shoes, and then took a sip off the water fountain. She dawdled, staring up at the numbers on the lockers.

The blonde girl knew exactly where her new locker was.

Those bastards in the office probably knew too. There were no coincidences in her life, only malicious pranks from someone, or disinterest. So she went further left down the hall, playing with the strap on her backpack and hoping that class would last another few more minutes. Once again, she'd forgotten her watch on her dresser back home.

When she saw exactly where she'd be placed, and who was next to her, she knew for a certainty that this was someone out to hurt her. On one sides, the moron who she'd beaten up on the first day of school and hated her (mutual), and the other the short, whiny one who she'd kissed on the first day of school and had a crush on her (_not _mutual). A rock and a hard place had never been more accurate.

Juuhachigou wondered briefly which was which, before shuddering. The bell rang.

Immediately, a door to her left opened, and kids began hurrying out. Remedial math, and she had a feeling who was there.

As always, his white button-up shirt was a little too tight and his red tie was askew. He'd forgotten his belt, and his blue shoes were scuffed. But he was smiling, and was always friendly to everyone. Even Juuhachigou and her brothers, who'd, had an uneasy alliance with him and his friends. "Hey, Juuhachi! How are you?"

She cringed a little. "Alright, Goku."

For all their mocking of Goku, he was the only one with a steady girlfriend. The only one that could really talk to girls, even if he just would_ talk_ to them instead of flirting. Of course, he'd gotten her pregnant and now had to work at the Burrito Piccolo to pay for diapers, so maybe they were right about the extra chromosomes.

"What are you doing here?"

"New locker." She pointed to them, and kids are them swarmed and passed. From out of nowhere, his teenage bride popped up. Juuhachigou hadn't been there for the wedding, but everyone had seen her proposal at the middle-school graduation. There was even a copy of the video online, at somewhere like a quarter million hits.

"Goku," the black-haired girl grabbed his arm and yanked on it painfully. Juuhachigou hadn't seen much of the bloom on the rose, but she did witness as it was torn off and stamped on. "Come on, let's get to lunch. And did you buy the tickets?"

Immediately, the two girls knew the answer instinctively. "What tickets, Chi-Chi?"

"For the prom!"

"Oh. Yeah." He rubbed the back of his head, and Juuhachigou watched him being dragged away by someone half his size, and twice his ferociousness.

When she turned back around to the lockers, she was met with a pair of dewy eyes. She also knew about a more cynical, cold-heated Krillin who hadn't cared much for Goku. Now though, she was met with a man who could only be described as a goofy romantic who would take a bullet for the larger boy. As usual, he was staring at her slightly taken back and slightly dazed by her presence.

His plain red tie was missing, probably thrown on a roof somewhere by the bullies that prowled the school. Her brother in particular loved giving the short boy wedgies. Juuhachigou's fault, since she sicced her little brother Juunanagou on the annoying twerp who rode the same bus as her and kept offering to carry her books for her, like they were some old-fashioned couple from a movie made fifty years ago. Pushing him into the mud and knocking his things into the dust before punching him in the face didn't work when she did it herself.

But then, it didn't work when Juunanagou did it either. He was a persistent little bastard; the blonde girl had to give him. Moody and a little weird too. Probably a future serial killer in the making. Just to be certain, or maybe it was an investment to sell online when he finally went on a killing spree, she kept all the poems he made for her, from middle school on.

They also got more creative, and better as the years continue on, Juuhachigou had to admit as well. More 'shall I compare thee to a winter's day…' and less 'roses are red, violets are blue.' He rhymed less too. Free verse. Would go on about others things besides her, insulting things about his awful friends.

Of course, even if Krillin sprouted up a foot and grew a nose, she wasn't interested.

Sometimes, though, she _was _tempted, say, to just date some borderline retarded jock to just get all that out of the way. Someone so stupid they would not question whatever she wanted. Then no one would bother her to ask her out, either because they would know she was already taken, or out of fear of what her boyfriend would do. They wouldn't whisper crude things about her, or constantly remind her of that goofy bastard that stared at her all the time.

Krillin could enter into the equation.

In some way. Imperfectly. There was too much off-putting about him to mistake a relationship as anything not sincere. No one else would put up with it if they _didn't_ like him.

Although, to be fair, both her brother and foster father hated him and his friends, and this would be a good way to twist a knife. Her rebellion would consist of bringing home a smiling, polite and well-mannered boy her own age. It would drive her family, all her cousins and aunts and uncles insane. The very short-haired boy would offer to clean the dishes, and the entire room would clutch their hearts and ask Juuhachigou what she'd been thinking. Did she hate her family _this _much? He didn't even have an earring.

Almost worth actually taking him up on his oblique comments when he'd actually worked up enough courage to speak to her. It would solve some problems. And Krillin had grown a few inches over the years. Still a disgrace specimen, but not as much as earlier. And he did hold her books for her, and take a bunch of crap from her on a daily basis. Spineless and so easily crumbled under foot. A nothing thing to preoccupy herself after school and let her cross off 'a boyfriend' on the list.

There _had_ been a girlfriend in the past, so he wasn't completely new to dating and completely unwanted by woman. Sure, the woman was a moron, but she was considered attractive by most of the male body here, and chose him briefly.

In a way, it would be like bending to pick up a penny and finding out if was made of gold rather than copper.

On the other hand, here he was, and Juuhachigou understood anew why she could never stand him. Just look at him. Pathetic. Flushing because she was looking him over. Ready to declare his undying love. No. Never.

So she shoved him against the lockers, pressing herself into him, and hearing people around them laugh and whisper and wolf-whistle. The short boy looked terrified. No, no, this wasn't going to work. None of it.

Juuhachigou whispered closely into his round, jutting ears. "If you slip one more poem into my locket, I will make a bonfire of them on your front lawn."

"Does that mean you kept them?"

Words couldn't be used as a weapon for someone like him. Better to punch him in the stomach and quickly walk away while he gasped for air. Pretend that he'd just laid there until the bell rung, and totally hadn't dragged himself up and slipped something into her locker.

* * *

Following Juuhachigou had been one of his more harebrained schemes to make her like him more. Or, at least, that's what he thought he might be doing. Thoughts and ideas tended not to come too easy when he was around her. Frantic instinct that drove him to raise his hand and throw out some glib answer for a laugh. The way his neck would tense, and then ache from the strain of not looking at her reaction, but always hearing her little snort of disdain.

From the beginning, she had nothing but apathy for him. But now, due to his efforts and struggles, Juuhachigou definitely hated him outright.

At least to his face. There was the matter of his attempts that would result in vicious blows to the body, but that was then. This was now, a new day, and the knowledge that she kept his poems and random scrambles on the day's events, did she think Vegeta had been particularly horrible today, in his tennis whites and was Chi-Chi really that big a pervert?

Why he'd decided to walk behind her was a dumb mystery. The smart thing would have been to keep his distance and gone to his next class. He was damp from the after-gym shower, with his shirt clinging to his back, following a girl out the front doors that weren't even _locked_. Stalker behavior, yes. Krillin tried to keep his face expressionless rather than…whatever it was now.

A stupid thought following him as he continued down the halls: _I can be cool. Chilly even. I should have brought a jacket._

Juuhachigou did a double take as soon as her feet hit the sidewalk. "What are you—were you _following_ me?"

There was no reason otherwise to have left school.

And considering math class was next, and how bad he was at algebra, maybe it would have been better to have stayed. Especially the way Juuhachigou was looking at him, like he was definitely a creeper.

Ever since that awful, wonderful day in chemistry class, when Vegeta had thrown that breaker of low-grade acid onto her. Bulma had been his lab partner that day, to her endless complaining, and had never let his reaction down. 'You just kept staring at her. It wasn't like she was naked or anything. She didn't even have to undress much. Just a shirt, and you're drooling over her. She was still wearing that tank top and her bra, even.'

But the tank top had been white and thin, and her bra black and silk, and Krillin could not have torn his gaze away from her. Even after she realized he was staring, and almost literally kicked his ass. Missing it to knock away his chair, and the fall nearly broke his neck. Then he could only stare up at her, at her furious expression and practically heaving chest, and then he really did deserve that kick to the face before the teacher broke it up.

No one had really stopped teasing them since. Asking him if he'd paid Vegeta to nearly kill her for an excuse to see her undressed. Asking her how she felt to half-naked in front of Krillin, and how much she'd enjoyed it, and when the wedding date. And every time, she would scare the perpetrator away (usually Bulma) and then hurt Krillin in some way. Usually by smashing his head into a locker or slamming the locker door shut on his fingers, or pushing his books out of his hands or slipping something unpleasant into his backpack or insulting a certain quality he possessed that she apparently despised or ripping his shirt or throwing something at him as ran all over the field.

All of it was deserved. And his fault. And a little of Vegeta's.

"I wanted to talk to you."

She shifted her backpack, increasingly annoyed. "So talk."

But the only thing Krillin could think about was her standing there after having to rip off her shirt to avoid being horrible burned. What she might be wearing under this current t-shirt. If she had any idea what she'd done to him since that day.

Like the hours spent dedicated to thinking about her. Every time they crossed paths, the bottom of his stomach dropped out. That now he noticed the miniscule white lightning in her eyes radiating out from the pupil. The question of whether or not he was in love with her, and the irrelevancy of it because he didn't _want _to love her, couldn't not love her.

"Uh. Where are you going?"

"Away from school. From you."

She turned away, leaving him only to stare.

From the back alone, was she an adult or a teenager?

Puberty had already made it horrifying and unfortunate visit years ago, before he'd even met Juuhachigou. But it seemed now he was fourteen again, with his cracking voice and being too conscious of how much he could sweat and how tall he wasn't and of body hair and how very, very much he liked girls.

But Juuhachigou had never really gone through an awkward phase. Braces or not. One second she hadn't been very tall, then she was towering over him (just like Goku had) and mocking him and probably smoking in the bleachers with her long legs in some pair of flat sneakers or boots.

Now he was following her home like a new pet.

"What is wrong with you?"

"_Lots_." His voice was so sickly that it even disgusted himself.

"Are you really going to do this? Is this how you think a relationship is started?"

"Does that mean you want to have a relationship with me?"

Juuhachigou was going to break his face. Leave him bleeding on this corner. Then find a car and back over him. That's what that meant look. Though he couldn't explain why she looked around suddenly, as though for witnesses when before she'd never been afraid of hurting him in public. "You take these."

Yes, she might have even kept those poems and writings. Might have even enjoyed them. His daily newsletters were not tossed in the trash after all.

There was no way to ask to hold her hand, but her books were good enough.

A start, he liked to believe.

Even when she took them back long before they reached her house and told him to get lost, she was sick of him drooling on her textbooks.

* * *

Juuhachigou in his house. In his bedroom. Undressed.

He all but gave himself a high-five.

No would believe this. Even platonically. Which it was. He was giddy, enough to twirl around and be so glad again that she couldn't see him.

Had to wipe this grin off, before she did for him.

Juuhachigou had nearly drowned, after all. Though he'd been there to save her. He'd actually saved someone.

It was still better than he could have ever expected his prom to go.

Yes, of course he'd wanted a horse-drawn carriage and roses and for there to be whisking into arms, but Juuhachigou just wouldn't go for arranging any of that. No getting pinned down in a limousine and stumbling to second base. At least he hadn't shelled out any money for a rented tux that would be ruined when someone spilled food on it.

Everyone else was gone, to spend time in crowded gym, and he was so glad that he wasn't there. For bad punch that wasn't even spiked, probably, depending on his merciful Bulma was feeling. Could see it now. Lame red hearts on the walls and bad music playing for people to never dance to, no way. Already self-conscious teenagers getting bored and wanting blood. Gone stag, yeah man, duh.

Why spend more time in the gym?

And if they were there, talking without shame, there would be no ten-second pause of silence when their eyes met. World whisked away under dim light. The audience would not do what they'd learned from countless movies and TV shows by erupting into cheers and applause.

Had even handled her wet clothes. He'd probably gotten more than lots of his peers.

Was there wine somewhere in this house? Candles, besides the ones by the bath that he should have hidden along with the bubble bath solution? Soda? Hot cocoa. Innocent. But warm. Just like him. Relatively speaking. Schnapps _anywhere_? Maybe change his own clothes, or was that too obvious, could he sneak upstairs for a dry shirt? Undress and lay there for her on this couch—no way. At the least, he hadn't gone over this thing with the vacuum in forever. Things might wedge—no. Don't turn down the lights. But keep the TV on low and turn it to the news, to look smart. Textbooks open? Like a nerd? No way. Just leave them there. In case she wanted to study with him, yeah, they could just jump ahead in their biology work, get cracking on anatomy studies, yes he had his GPA to worry about after all.

Remind her of his scores on the field and how that could translate. Take off his shirt. Fuck, why did it have to be so cold? Leave his jersey hanging around, girls like that, didn't they? Football helmet hung right there.

Was she taking her time on purpose? Was she going to just sit up there until her clothes were dry? Would she wear them home or take his clothes with her, to keep until college when she was packing up and tossing away things she no longer wanted. His shirt, pants another thing to discard, and Krillin felt all the smaller. Where would she be in a year? Where would he be?

She stomped downstairs, looking at the walls, making little comments in her head that were nearly audible. He really wished there were fewer pictures everywhere. Especially ones of him face down in the sand, in various t-shirts of varying stupidity or shirtless and at the seaside, sunburned.

Juuhachigou, in his clothes. "Are my clothes dry yet?"

This was so much better than anything at the prom.

"Another twenty minutes, maybe?"

She sat on the couch and all was right in the world. No matter if she was looking at him or not. Three feet separating them.

"You really cause about the economy of South City?"

"Domino effect. Very important for our local GDP."

No one could more scathing than her. "I want to make something clear. This was an accident. Even finding your house was a mistake. No, Krillin. No to whatever you might be thinking. We are not going to be making out. Or anything else you've imagined. Never."

"Want some cocoa?"

She just stared at him, hair mussed in a way that was purely sensual.

"C'_mon_. You make it sound like I was planning on waiting down here, _naked._ Like I was going to jump you and ask if you wanted an in depth study into anatomy. God, Juuhachigou."

"What, like I imagined all this? Your crush was only in my head? What about the notes you insist on giving me?"

He poured milk into a mug, half-way. "Did you even read them? I was kidding like, three quarters of the time. At least. Mostly it was just talking about how much I disliked our peers."

"Yeah, you have some real anger issues you should deal with."

"Like you can talk."

"Anything stronger than hot chocolate."

"Yes, but you can't have any. You and alcohol seems like a dangerous combination. The cops are probably getting sick of coming here."

Juuhachigou let it drop. Turned with a sniff back to the TV screen.

How many times had he studied the back of her head? "What were you doing out there anyway?"

"Running. Just…running. For a jog."

"Who were you running from? Are the cops really going to come here?"

"So long as you don't do anything hasty like dial 911, we'll be fine."

Krillin had a sudden vivid picture, an image, of the house caught under the glow of police lights and yellow tape, do not cross. Snapshots of his broken body. No one to clean up the blood, it would grow tacky and stain the floor until it was no longer visible to Goku and Roshi and Oolong, the slobs. Detectives with cigars eyeing his lifeless body. Who could have done this tragic thing?

But she had left so much DNA evidence upstairs. Loose hairs.

They would catch her. Justice would prevail.

"Here. I even put a marshmallow in it. Goku likes to dunk Quacks in it, but we'll start you off with this one."

"But who knows where the night will lead."

"_Exactly."_

"Not into my pants."

"No. No? Of course not."

When she stopped with the huffing, Juuhachigou asked, "Why are you here?"

"This is my house."

"Why are you here and not with the others at that dance thing?"

"The dance thing? The prom, you mean. The happiest night of our life?"

"God forbid."

"I know right." Krillin found another mug for himself. "But I didn't want to show up alone, again."

"Goku was busy?"

"Hilarious. Why weren't you there? Too cool for even that showing of school spirit?"

"How is getting groped by a football player in the gym school spirit, exactly?"

"We'll never know, now, will we? Funny though, using 'football player' as an example of whom you're making out with."

"As though you've even know _how_."

Did that mean she did? Was she regularly pinned down in limousines? Sometimes, she hung around the stranger people, and that made Krillin worry about her. Until his mind cleared and he knew that she could more than handle herself, and really, if anything, she was the one doing the pinning, and that was a more interesting topic than how many people she knew had earrings.

And Krillin had kissed girls. One girl. They had gone slow, admittedly.

…did Juuhachigou just hint that she could teach him how to make out?

"No. I wasn't hinting that I wanted to teach you how to kiss. God, you're predictable."

"Still. It's a long ten minutes until your stuffs dry. Might get bored…okay, I'll stop. Surprising that you weren't asked to the prom?"

"Are you kidding? Like I'd go either way. And if anyone asked, I'd refuse."

"Just. Justify the rejection, Juuhachigou. That'll make it go away."

She could pinch so _hard._

Krillin tried to fight her off. "I'm just saying! We're both losers tonight. Losers at love."

"Is that what you think? You know I don't care about any of that crap. Have you seen the boys at that school? Rather date a leaper."

"Maybe the boys are pretty awful, but the girls make up for it in the attractiveness department."

"No, they don't." Juuhachigou deadpanned. "You've just never seen them in less than flattering lights. Like Bulma after a bender when she's puking in the showers."

"Bet she looks pretty then too. Just needs some mascara. What?"

She just shook her head. "You're such a moron. Immature. No wonder you've never been alone with a female."

"With one right now. And hey, she's not wearing her clothes. Ouch. Ow. Stop. I can't even joke about that, can I?"

In a year, she'd be gone. School or jail after she snapped and took up a sniper rifle for that mass murder no one that knew her would call a surprise. Marriage, maybe, in another few more years. Kids of her own. God. How quickly time could pass.

Five more minutes maybe, with her before she got her things and left. Leaving Krillin alone with his thoughts on this prom night, alone with nothing but his thoughts.

"I'm glad we can talk."

"We'll have to see each other more now."

"Only until graduation." Already pulling away, though she blinked at his stare.

"Any chance there's actually food here, or did Goku eat it all?"

"Maybe just be ice cream. Or we could order takeout? If I do, will you tell me what you were fleeing from?"

"Ice cream then." Was that maybe a smile on Juuhachigou's face? "It's not important. Don't answer the door if it's my brother."

"Will do. Whipped cream?"

"Sure. Why not? There's not enough sugar in ice cream anyway, why not add that?"

"Who said anything about putting it on your ice cream?"

"You're disgusting. Where are the spoons?"

* * *

He heard her before he saw her.

The tumble over the fence. Painful. Out of a dream and into reality. Like the Gods had answered his prayers. Karma. Grumbling, threatening, cursing. Her looking over her shoulders, not even noticing him, on the run from something, it really was like something out of a dream. And she needed his help, oh, no, she needed to stop-

Before he could say her name, warn her, do anything but look up and feel a smile spreading then dying across his mug, she fell through the pool cover and disappeared with a splash.


End file.
